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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, your og Okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy stories

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Speaker 1: coming up. But if you want to hear that deliciousness,

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Speaker 1: you know, just stick around for a two minute break

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Speaker 1: with a word from our sponsors. I refuse to move

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Speaker 1: closer to my fiancees X.

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Speaker 2: I want to move farther.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, get me as far away from that relationship as possible.

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Speaker 1: I forty two female, met my fiance forty two male,

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Speaker 1: a year after my late husband passed away six years ago.

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Speaker 1: Is that too soon or too late? Let me know.

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Speaker 1: We met through a work partnership and live in different states.

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Speaker 1: We're about twelve hours apart if we drove, sometimes we

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Speaker 1: take shorter commuter flights to maximize our time together. By

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Speaker 1: the way, this comes from far Championship two oh two,

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Speaker 1: And if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to the r slash Okay Storytime sub I'm Sam.

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Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm key On, and we're here to.

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Speaker 1: Give good advice. Goofily, But we don't have all the answers.

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Speaker 1: We only know what we'd do, So let us know

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Speaker 1: what you would do in the comments. All right, this

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Speaker 1: is what Opie says out. Our relationship has been mostly

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Speaker 1: long distance, but we see each other at least once

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Speaker 1: per month and text and talk constantly if we're not

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Speaker 1: at work or doing things with friends. My fiance has

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Speaker 1: been an amazing partner, and I feel lucky I was

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Speaker 1: able to find love again after a tragedy. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: feel like that. I feel like every partner who becomes

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Speaker 1: a ghost would probably want their current partner to find

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Speaker 1: love again. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: No, there's gonna be how quickly?

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Speaker 1: How quickly should they be happy?

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Speaker 2: There's a movie about that with the girl who plays

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Speaker 2: Scarlett Witch, Elizabeth Olsen.

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Speaker 1: How quickly? How quickly?

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Speaker 3: About her husband?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: In the afterlife? And she's like her husband, who she's

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Speaker 2: been with her whole life, is like, you're gonna be

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Speaker 2: with me? And then her husband, who like passed when

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Speaker 2: they were really young, has been waiting for sixty seven.

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Speaker 1: Years, Oh to go back.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'd like to get back with her.

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Speaker 3: Do you think there's at least one like ghostly partner

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Speaker 3: that says no, don't move on.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it's super jealous ghosts. But I think

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Speaker 1: I should. I think the rule, if I was a

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Speaker 1: greater rule right now is you should mourn for one

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Speaker 1: month of every year of the relationship.

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Speaker 2: So I think, OP, he's good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, how long was the relationship?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Let us know what you think. But my fiance has

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Speaker 1: been an amazing partner and I feel lucky I was

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Speaker 1: able to find love again after tragedy. My fiance has

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Speaker 1: a son, sixteen male, from a previous relationship. He broke

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Speaker 1: up with my step son's mother when his son was nine.

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Speaker 1: I think he's great. He's been supportive of our relationship

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Speaker 1: and he's very close with his dad. The biggest issue

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Speaker 1: has been his mom. His mom, how can I put

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Speaker 1: this nicely, is bitter. She and my fiance have been

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Speaker 1: in and out of court for the last few years.

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Speaker 1: My step son does not get along with his mother.

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Speaker 1: The few times I've met her have been unpleasant due

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Speaker 1: to her hostility towards me. A few years back, she

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Speaker 1: tried to pester me on social media, telling me that

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Speaker 1: I should step aside so my step son's parents could

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Speaker 1: be together.

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Speaker 2: So I feel like she's like she's messaging OP from

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Speaker 2: fake accounts and is like, Hey, I'm just a passive observer.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, i'mhappy, you must be.

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Speaker 2: I've got no no dog again, but you should, you

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Speaker 2: should step aside.

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Speaker 1: You should step aside. I'm obviously gonna make him happy,

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Speaker 1: can't you see with all the litigation, that's litigation of

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Speaker 1: love right there?

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Speaker 2: I mean, she's obviously gonna make him happy.

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Speaker 1: Sorry Typo, Yeah, I mean yeah, yeah, she she the ex.

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Speaker 1: She also tried to tell me that he would never

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Speaker 1: marry me, just as he never married her. Well, when

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Speaker 1: we got engaged last year, she became enraged. The only

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Speaker 1: thing that you can be if you're not engaged to

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Speaker 1: love is that you want love. Enraged and try to

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Speaker 1: get full custody of my steps on. It backfired because

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Speaker 1: my steps on didn't want to live with her and

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Speaker 1: filed with his guardian ad letum, don't know what that means.

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Speaker 1: Tell me in the chat what that means, or keon

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Speaker 1: if you have research capabilities to have her custody reduced,

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Speaker 1: which was granted. So the steps on doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: be in a relationship with stepmom either, No.

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Speaker 2: I mean it's been said multiple times that he does

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Speaker 2: not get along with his mom. Annie's sixteen years old,

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Speaker 2: so usually you do get someone of a say, yeah,

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Speaker 2: on which parent you want to stay with.

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Speaker 3: Exactly also adletum, going back to your Latin roots. Here

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Speaker 3: is a Latin term for the lawsuit or for the suit.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, so it's just a lawsuit, you get it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're lawyering up, the lawyering up. So since then he

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Speaker 1: has opted to only visit her for a few hours

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Speaker 1: one Saturday a month. That is quite the wine down there. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: If she brings up his dad, you leave. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: He puts a timer on, sees how long it takes

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Speaker 2: her to bring up the dead. He's like, well, we are.

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Speaker 1: He's required to answer her phone calls, but if she

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Speaker 1: tries to guilt or argue with him, he hangs up.

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Speaker 1: I stay out of all of it as much as

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Speaker 1: I can. It's between my fiance, my step son, and

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Speaker 1: his ex. The issue. That's another issue that wasn't enough.

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Speaker 2: He's so many issues.

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Speaker 1: There's so many issues. The issue is my fiance got

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Speaker 1: a long awaited transfer that will allow him to live

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Speaker 1: with me. My fiance offered my steps on the option

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Speaker 1: to live with his mom or my fiance's sister if

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Speaker 1: he wanted to stay at the same school and remain

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Speaker 1: with his friends. My step son opted to move and

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Speaker 1: live with us, all right, pausing right here, Sophia, Yes,

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Speaker 1: do you think the ex is going to be okay

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Speaker 1: with her son living with opim?

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Speaker 2: Let me think about it. No, no, no, she hates her.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, man, being in a relationship, in a forced relationship

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Speaker 1: kind of sucks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, be careful who you have kids with. Yeah, this

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Speaker 1: is true, This is true.

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Speaker 2: This is true.

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Speaker 1: Something that I'm realized. I feel like I avoided so

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Speaker 1: many landmines accidentally by not having kids with any of

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Speaker 1: the pass exits that I had.

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Speaker 2: Well.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I'm very grateful for you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, could have easily just as happened.

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Speaker 2: That's why I feel like the two year mark. I

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Speaker 2: mean again, I know a lot of ours have had

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Speaker 2: very successful relationships and stuff, and also.

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Speaker 1: A lot of reviewers have had very unsuccessful relationships. We

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Speaker 1: have both sides of the spectrum, which is but I

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Speaker 1: do think it's beautiful here.

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Speaker 2: Overall, you should try to air on the side of

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Speaker 2: waiting at least two years before we marry anyone, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: or have kids with anyone.

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Speaker 1: I agree. I agree. Two years is when all of

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Speaker 1: my relationships have fallen apart exactly.

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Speaker 2: And that's usually mess and.

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Speaker 1: That's not a me thing, and that's not me. I've

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Speaker 1: been perfect in all those relations never done anything wrong.

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Speaker 1: I've never done anything wrong. It is it is just naturally.

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Speaker 1: That's when you know whether the relationship is going to

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Speaker 1: be good or not.

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Speaker 3: Is that where you get a pet two years?

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Speaker 1: Yes? Pet, After two years.

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Speaker 2: You decide whether or not you want to continue.

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Speaker 1: But get dog that dies quickly, just in case, because

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Speaker 1: you what you want to share custody of a dog

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Speaker 1: that lives thirty years.

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Speaker 2: I understand what you're saying when you could have just

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Speaker 2: said an old.

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Speaker 1: Dog or no, you can get a dog that dies.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to get an old dog. Actually that

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Speaker 1: would be cute, getting an old dog, But old dogs

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Speaker 1: have problems.

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Speaker 2: Take what is a dog that dies quickly? Well, yeah,

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Speaker 2: clearly has problems.

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Speaker 1: Well, but it's like like a like a.

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Speaker 3: Many way, like they were so good and then he's like, no,

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Speaker 3: get a withering dog.

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Speaker 1: A withering dog, A withering dog that'll solve your rat

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Speaker 1: will will and then you'll know if you're ready for kids.

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Speaker 1: I guess so, okay, all right, anyway, my stepson opted

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Speaker 1: to move and live with us.

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Speaker 3: I wonder where you're thinking about it now? What like

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Speaker 3: getting it like a withering dog.

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Speaker 1: Not a withering dog, but like a Great dane Er

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Speaker 1: mastiff that has a lifespan of like five years. You're

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Speaker 1: like in a you're like tied together for a little

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Speaker 1: over an election season. Like that's like not like like

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Speaker 1: God forbid your relationship ends after two years.

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Speaker 2: Definitely, don't get a little a little rat dog years forever.

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Speaker 1: You're that's basically a kid at that point.

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Speaker 2: It's true.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just a hairy kid.

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Speaker 1: Hairy kid. There there's a very little difference between a

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Speaker 1: chihuahua and a three year old. It's true. Quote him

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Speaker 1: on that that was a joke, by the way, to

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Speaker 1: all the parents of BOTHA wasn't to My stepson opted

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Speaker 1: to move and live with us. He said he can

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Speaker 1: FaceTime his friends, and there's a really good stem school

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Speaker 1: willing to take him mid school year where I live.

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Speaker 1: The plan for this is to move in the last

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Speaker 1: two weeks of December. Well, my step son's mom has

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Speaker 1: tried to fight him moving in with us. She's accused

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Speaker 1: by fiance of alienating him against her. My fiance has

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Speaker 1: documented every interaction, in every encouragement he's given to try

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Speaker 1: and help his son. Men. Things with his mother have

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Speaker 1: the receipts. What do we always say, have the receipts?

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Speaker 1: We say, yes, we say receipts. We say receipts, receipts.

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Speaker 1: We say that which is not written is not codified.

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Speaker 2: Sam is fine and Kim is fine.

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Speaker 1: Yep, Sam as well. Oh and Kim is fine. And

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Speaker 1: Kim is fine. And receipts and receipts. Three things we say, yep,

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Speaker 1: we say three things. Than those are those three things receipts? Please?

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Speaker 1: The judge signed off on him moving out of state

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Speaker 1: into my home. This is set off another wave of

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Speaker 1: intimidation from his ex towards me. She sent me messages

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Speaker 1: from various accounts on social media telling me I've ruined

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Speaker 1: her family and that if I really loved my steps

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Speaker 1: and I'd move closer to them so they can coparent.

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Speaker 1: I complained to my mom, but she actually sided with

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Speaker 1: my fiance's ex, saying she has every right to be

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Speaker 1: upset as her son is moving away. I mean, she

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Speaker 1: has every right to be sad, but not every right

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Speaker 1: right to cast you blame onto you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, your mom. I think your mom is being one

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Speaker 2: of those sometimes you know people who are.

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Speaker 1: Just like contan for contrarian's sake.

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Speaker 2: Well, yes, but also just trying to see all sides

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Speaker 2: even when there's pretty obvious kind of bad guy in

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Speaker 2: a situation, and you.

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Speaker 1: Can see all sides and say like and still and

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Speaker 1: still like what it would have been a normal thing to

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Speaker 1: say is like, yeah, she has a right to be upset,

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Speaker 1: but not a right to be upset at you and

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Speaker 1: harassment you and harass you. No one has a right

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Speaker 1: to harass anyone.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, don't hate the player, hate the game kind of thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, just sends every time she gets one of

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Speaker 2: these messages, all right.

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Speaker 1: Also, another part of the receipt conversation is don't say

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Speaker 1: anything in writing that you don't want to be a receipt.

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Speaker 2: That's true.

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Speaker 1: The best mean messages are sent verbally with no one

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Speaker 1: around you. No one will ever believe you, will ever

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Speaker 1: believe you, haha, and you like put some like fairy

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Speaker 1: desks in their face and then run away or one

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Speaker 1: of those smoke bombs.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then she goes in court, and she goes

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Speaker 2: and then and they'll disappeared in a smoke smoke.

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Speaker 1: Bomb like sounds like a dream and sounds like the

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Speaker 1: rest of your story is probably fake too. Yeah, can't

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Speaker 1: keep your mind straight. No one just disappears. Magic isn't real.

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Speaker 2: If you keep your revenge plans unhinged, enuff, no one

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Speaker 2: will ever believe exactly.

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Speaker 1: Like have you ever seen that video of the guy? Yeah? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like I forget he was at like Walmart or something,

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Speaker 1: and then like someone gave him a receipt and then

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Speaker 1: he ate it in front of them, like he was

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Speaker 1: like faking being a Walmart employee.

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Speaker 3: Have you ever seen this hilarious A long receipt to.

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Speaker 1: This guy? This guy breaks into a Walmart and goes

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Speaker 1: behind the returns counter and pretends to be working there,

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Speaker 1: and a person goes up to him and it's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I have this thing to return. It's like, oh, let

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Speaker 1: me check the receipt, and he's like, yeah, I brought

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Speaker 1: the receipt. The guy just eats it and then the

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Speaker 1: guy looks at the versus like what receipt. The person

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Speaker 1: that came into the wal Mart is like, this guy,

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Speaker 1: just ate my receipt.

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Speaker 3: They're like, you can't return it without the recept.

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Speaker 1: The guy's like, I'm sorry. This lady's crazy, Like I

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Speaker 1: who would eat a receipt? So that goes to show

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Speaker 1: you if you're unhinged enough, no one will believe the truth.

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Speaker 1: This is bad advice. You should not listen to this,

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Speaker 1: and that's my good advice. Anyway, My mom suggested that

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Speaker 1: maybe I should consider a temporary living situation closer to them,

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Speaker 1: so as not to disrupt my step son's routine and

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Speaker 1: help my fiance repair his relationship with his mother. I

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Speaker 1: mean I could see that. Tell me if you're right,

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Speaker 1: if you think the mother's right, I have never had

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Speaker 1: any real desire to move, as I was born and

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Speaker 1: raised in this town and I love it. I have

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Speaker 1: also no desire to give up my home. So I

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Speaker 1: have to ask am I the a hole for not

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Speaker 1: considering moving closer to them given the circumstances. There is

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Speaker 1: an updates, But Sophia, what do you think is op

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Speaker 1: the a hole?

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Speaker 2: Honestly no, I think yeah, it makes sense why she

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Speaker 2: is upset that she no longer you know, can see

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Speaker 2: her son as consistently. However, she has been making problems

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Speaker 2: for years, for.

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Speaker 1: Any years, and it's not like it's like she's had

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Speaker 1: so much opportunity to repair the relationship with the steps on.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and he doesn't want to see his own mom.

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Speaker 2: It's not like you're keeping him from his mom.

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Speaker 1: He's keeping he's trying to from his mind.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and so honestly, I think it would be more

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Speaker 2: unfair if you tried to like force a relationship, force

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Speaker 2: out relationship when he actively does not want it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, I agree, But let us know what

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Speaker 1: you think in the comments below. Is a P and

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Speaker 1: a hole yes or no? Sophy and I think no.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, we're also not parents, so we don't know

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Speaker 1: what it's like to have your sixteen year old ripped

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Speaker 1: from your your clutches.

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Speaker 2: My clutches, clutches, all right.

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Speaker 1: But we have an update already. I'm ready my only

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Speaker 1: real updates. And also by only real updates, we mean

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Speaker 1: a hunk and hunk of updates. We we're less than

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Speaker 1: halfway through this story.

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Speaker 2: There's a whole chunk of this story.

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Speaker 1: There's old chunk. There's it's like it's like Rocky Road

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Speaker 1: ice cream, chunks of bunch of stuff.

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Speaker 2: It's chunky, it's got nuts in it.

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Speaker 1: It's like chunky monkey. That's probably a better, better one. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's got it's got chunk. Chunky monkey. Have I don't know,

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Speaker 1: I only know and monkeys. Probably yeah, yeah, probably not legal?

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Speaker 1: Ben and Jerry, what are you doing care? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think it's monkey fudge fudgge. Why is it called

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Speaker 1: a monkey? Probably because banana or banana? I was thinking

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Speaker 1: because like the caramel chunks were brown and monkeys are brown.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, I guess that's true.

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Speaker 1: Why do you think it's called chunky monkey experiences In

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Speaker 1: the comments below, we got an update. So my only

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Speaker 1: real updates are that my fiance we'll call them, Nathan

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Speaker 1: h my fiances ex we'll call her Judy has received

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Speaker 1: a cease and desist letter from my fiance's lawyer this afternoon.

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Speaker 2: Banana ice cream with fudge chucks and walnuts.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so I think it's both. It's both the banana.

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Speaker 1: It looks like monkeys in those bananas.

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Speaker 2: Sure.

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Speaker 1: Judy is only to contact Nathan on their co parenting

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Speaker 1: app for any issue she may have related to co parenting,

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Speaker 1: and my step son is available for her to contact.

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Speaker 1: So we're putting boundaries up, ladies and gentlemen.

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Speaker 2: Boundaries.

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Speaker 1: Judy is not to contact me under any circumstances, or

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Speaker 1: a restraining order will be filed.

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Speaker 2: I'm glad that we got the law on this.

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Speaker 1: I've not heard from her since Sunday. My mom and

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Speaker 1: I talked it out. I let her know that I

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Speaker 1: was disappointed that she had so much empathy for my

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Speaker 1: fiances x and none for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like, sometimes you don't want to hear like that.

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Speaker 2: This person is multi faceted and as reasons, sometimes you

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Speaker 2: just want to hear yeah, I'm sorry, that.

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Speaker 1: Sucks something that. I had a two hour conversation with

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Speaker 1: a friend about this, and we came to the to

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Speaker 1: the realization that nuance should only be given if a

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Speaker 1: person is ready to hear. Yeah, but you should give

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Speaker 1: as much nuance as that person is ready to hear,

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Speaker 1: you know. So it's like, yes, we should all get

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Speaker 1: to the place of nuance that everyone is just doing

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Speaker 1: our best right. Ideally we should that is what we

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Speaker 1: should get to. But you know, if you just got

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Speaker 1: punched by someone, you.

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Speaker 4: Don't want to be like, well, he probably has always

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Speaker 4: probably having a bad day. He's like no, it's like, hey,

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Speaker 4: that sucks that you got punched, But eventually you want

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Speaker 4: to get to he's probably having a bad day, because

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Speaker 4: that is the best way to live life is with

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Speaker 4: ultimate nuance.

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Speaker 1: But you know, people aren't ready for nuance all.

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Speaker 2: The way in the immediacy. You just want to be

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Speaker 2: there for your friends.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like what you just want to say?

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Speaker 2: What to have?

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Speaker 1: What to have? She admitted she's not really care for

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Speaker 1: my fiance and it's thought for a long time that

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Speaker 1: he was leading me on. Oh, bombshell alert. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: the mom is trying to break up the relationship.

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Speaker 2: Oh I thought that was the X.

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Speaker 1: Okay, no, it's the mom. Mom. That is a crazy

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Speaker 1: thing to just.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, She's like, sweetheart, the reason that I was telling

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00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,640
Speaker 2: you that I was on the ex's side is because

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Speaker 2: I hate your husband.

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00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,880
Speaker 1: I hate your husband. That's crazy. That is crazy. Is

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Speaker 1: that not crazy?

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Speaker 2: It's pretty crazy.

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Speaker 1: I feel like we just that was dropped, like it wasn't.

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Speaker 2: Very engaged, and she's very he's leading married. She's like,

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Speaker 2: he's leading me to the altar.

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00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's leading yes to the altar, to the altar.

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Speaker 2: The altar.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy to be on top of him. Yeah, s

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Speaker 1: C says, that was crazy. That was crazy. Crazy, that

375
00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:57,800
Speaker 1: was crazy. I'm I'm a guy that we're in agreement

376
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,520
Speaker 1: that that is crazy. But she's all also a little

377
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,880
Speaker 1: suspicious of the custody battle and worries about me being

378
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,920
Speaker 1: put into the drama. However, she did apologize to me

379
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,240
Speaker 1: for not being more supportive. She did say, it's my

380
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,200
Speaker 1: life and she doesn't have to agree with every decision

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Speaker 1: I make. Even if she is not my fiance's biggest man,

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Speaker 1: she will remain respectful for my sake.

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Speaker 2: It's just like, I guess, if you want to this

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Speaker 2: this god awful guy, you can.

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Speaker 1: Do as your mother. I have to be okay with it,

386
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Speaker 1: but I am not okay with it. I hate him

387
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,920
Speaker 1: still still, But do what you want, do what you want,

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00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:30,760
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. I feel like that is

389
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Speaker 1: like the biggest non support.

390
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, you could get like I love you.

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Speaker 1: But you're making a huge mistake and I don't support it.

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00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:42,040
Speaker 1: But I support you in like a metaphorical sense, in

393
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:45,480
Speaker 1: a general sense, but this specifically I don't support at all. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I support you as a as a concept.

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00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,600
Speaker 2: Conceptually I support.

396
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,600
Speaker 1: Especially I support practice not so much, not so much.

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Speaker 1: Since I'm here, I will answer some common questions. When

398
00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 1: I wrote my original post, I was upset and it

399
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:00,840
Speaker 1: was kind of stream of consciousness, so I wasn't clear

400
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:02,720
Speaker 1: on certain details. I figured I could take a moment

401
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,639
Speaker 1: to paint a clearer picture. All right, let's turn this

402
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:09,640
Speaker 1: Picasso into like a medieval painting of a king. That's

403
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:12,000
Speaker 1: a more clear picture and not you know, a little wonky.

404
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:12,600
Speaker 1: Come on.

405
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:14,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was great, thank you, thank you.

406
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:16,360
Speaker 1: I was flowers.

407
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,720
Speaker 2: I was just starting to think. I was like, I

408
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,040
Speaker 2: feel like the medieval paintings were not as real as

409
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:23,200
Speaker 2: but I couldn't think of a Renaissance painting.

410
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like pre Impressionist. Yeah, Renaissance period. Yes, well,

411
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,480
Speaker 1: I know it's a period of history, but it's a period.

412
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:36,200
Speaker 1: Is painting period? Yeah, well it goes, it goes Impressionist, modernist?

413
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:43,400
Speaker 1: What's the other one? Abstract period? Is there a blue period? Late?

414
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:43,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

415
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:47,320
Speaker 1: My fiance's mother will call her. Amelia is a wonderful

416
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:50,119
Speaker 1: woman to me, but she did not like my fiance's

417
00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:52,639
Speaker 1: X at all. She and I have a wonderful relationship.

418
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,280
Speaker 1: She loves her grandson and that's the only reason that

419
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,679
Speaker 1: she is civil towards the X. But Amelia has a

420
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,919
Speaker 1: lot of suspicion about Judy's behavior. She strongly believes Judy

421
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,600
Speaker 1: was after his money.

422
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,880
Speaker 2: I think that she's right.

423
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,600
Speaker 1: Me thinks Judy would be after money.

424
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,440
Speaker 2: Me thinks you are correct.

425
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 1: Me thinks that's all signs point to her being a

426
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:19,200
Speaker 1: miserly woman that is trying to create her own little

427
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,040
Speaker 1: little gold pile that she sits on like the dragon

428
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 1: smog smoug smaug. I don't believe that's true, and that

429
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:31,639
Speaker 1: she got pregnant to trap Nathan. I don't really believe

430
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,159
Speaker 1: that's true, but it's what she believes. I do know.

431
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,680
Speaker 1: Judy and Amelia clashed on several occasions over various things,

432
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:41,399
Speaker 1: including parenting my steps in. Elijah is very excited to

433
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:45,800
Speaker 1: transfer to the Stem school. That's exciting. Yeah, science and stuff.

434
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:46,480
Speaker 2: He's smart.

435
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:51,000
Speaker 1: Elijah attends a private school in his area that specializes

436
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,000
Speaker 1: in science and tech.

437
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 2: Dude, he's just like Spider Man.

438
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:59,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's just like Spider Man. The parents, yeah, are

439
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 1: the parents. Stepparents are the real parents. Uncle Ben's stepparents

440
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,960
Speaker 1: are I mean blood parents.

441
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:09,639
Speaker 2: Sorry, well his bio parents are deceased and his his

442
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:13,359
Speaker 2: oh adopted parents are his adopted parents?

443
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 3: Yes, Uncle Ben.

444
00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,480
Speaker 1: In the I'm thinking Spider Man into the Spider verse

445
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:19,120
Speaker 1: right now.

446
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a totally different that's.

447
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:25,520
Speaker 1: Miles that's miles different. Spider Man. He is very into

448
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 1: computer programming, already knows four different programming languages. I'm a

449
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 1: website ux designer, so I've taught him what I know

450
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:34,000
Speaker 1: as well. Man his learning machine. The STEMS school in

451
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,520
Speaker 1: my area is one of the best in the region.

452
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:39,640
Speaker 1: Dang and possibly the country.

453
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,960
Speaker 2: Look at this smarty pans his ex mom.

454
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 1: And that's the main reason why he wants to live

455
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:46,679
Speaker 1: here with me.

456
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,879
Speaker 2: Kitlyn says, wicked smart, wicked smile.

457
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, this school doesn't typically take students mid year, but

458
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,879
Speaker 1: they made an exception for Elijah. So not only wicked smart,

459
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,560
Speaker 1: he's wicked smart inside the wicked school.

460
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:02,960
Speaker 2: Someone get this kid into Goodwill hunting.

461
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,359
Speaker 1: Get him in there, he's so smart. To end the

462
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,840
Speaker 1: court battles between his parents, Elijah has been considered responsible

463
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 1: enough to make his own decisions regarding where he lives,

464
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 1: but he still has to live with a parent or

465
00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:17,919
Speaker 1: legal guardian until he's eighteen. It's not quite emancipation, but

466
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 1: he has considered doing that if his mom continues to

467
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 1: make trouble. He still continues to live with his dad,

468
00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,719
Speaker 1: but can see and do as he wishes, and the

469
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,920
Speaker 1: court won't really intervene. Basically, it was to prevent judy

470
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: from weaponizing the courts and trying to scream about parental alienation.

471
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,480
Speaker 1: I try to stay out of it while being loving

472
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 1: and supportive.

473
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:42,359
Speaker 2: Maybe you shouldn't have should Maybe you shouldn't have alienated

474
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:43,200
Speaker 2: your son.

475
00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 1: He's a little old for me to be mother, but

476
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 1: I want him to know that I'm there for him.

477
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 1: Someone brought up a valid point. Nathan and I are

478
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 1: not yet married. We're getting married and Juno next year.

479
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 1: I call Elijah my stepson because he tells people I'm

480
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,880
Speaker 1: a step mom, but nothing is official yet.

481
00:21:59,000 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 2: I love it.

482
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:02,399
Speaker 1: That's cute. I mean, it's obvious that they get They

483
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:03,440
Speaker 1: have a great relationship.

484
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, much better than him and his you know bio mom.

485
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:10,120
Speaker 1: I realized that maybe we should take care in using

486
00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:13,080
Speaker 1: those labels, as it could cause issues since nothing is

487
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 1: official yet, issues like maybe.

488
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 2: Like the ex mom being you know, causing trouble with

489
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 2: the lawyers and saying this parental alienation, et cetera.

490
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 1: Either way, Elijah's happy for us. If he hadn't been,

491
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,400
Speaker 1: I don't think i'd have felt comfortable taking a relationship far.

492
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,199
Speaker 1: But he's always been a great kid and I love

493
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 1: him because Elijah is so mature, Nathan wanted to give

494
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,560
Speaker 1: him the option of where to live. Nathan was originally

495
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,639
Speaker 1: supposed to be promoted two years ago and we were

496
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 1: going to move in together sooner, but then things with

497
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:41,800
Speaker 1: Elijah's mom went south and Nathan's work wasn't able to

498
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 1: promote him in a timely manner. It became clear that

499
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 1: if Nathan left, Judy was going to go out of

500
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: her way to make it difficult for Nathan to see

501
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 1: Elijah and came up with a lot of baseless accusations.

502
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,040
Speaker 1: Between that and his work, Nathan's promotion was delayed by

503
00:22:55,119 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 1: two years. The original plan was that Nathan would see

504
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 1: Elijah every other weekend, they'd FaceTime daily and spend all

505
00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 1: holidays and summers with us while living with his mother.

506
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: But didn't work out and Nathan needed to stay. Because

507
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 1: of that, Nathan wanted to give Elijah options on where

508
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 1: he wanted to live. Nathan never planned to abandon his son.

509
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 1: He would still be involved as a dad, and Elijah

510
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 1: really doesn't have a rebelli. He's bone in his body.

511
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:20,800
Speaker 1: His entire life revolves around computers, making websites and programming,

512
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 1: and that is where that story ends. Heck, yeah, it

513
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 1: is wicked smart.

514
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's wicki smart, emotionally smart too. He's got a

515
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:32,160
Speaker 2: good mom and dad, stepmom and dad. Yeah, his bio

516
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,880
Speaker 2: mom is kind of a mess.

517
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,360
Speaker 1: Kind of a mess, but at least you know her

518
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: teens aren't a mess. You know. Gave this kid some

519
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 1: smart jeans, yes, says wicked smart and Sean cases, Wow,

520
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 1: smart kid.

521
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 2: In two years, he won't have to worry about all

522
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 2: of this legal stuff because he'll be eighteen.

523
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 1: He'll be a big old adult. Don't worry about doing

524
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:51,639
Speaker 1: big old adult things.

525
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,440
Speaker 3: In about like ten years, he'll be on his own

526
00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 3: show called The Big Bang Theory.

527
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 2: Because he's wicked smart.

528
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 1: He's wicked smart.

529
00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story. We got another

530
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 2: one coming right up. My girlfriend's spicy food is making

531
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 2: me physically sick.

532
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 1: Well, maybe don't eat it.

533
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 2: I twenty five mal have been in a relationship with

534
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 2: my girlfriend twenty three female for two and a half years,

535
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,280
Speaker 2: and she moved in with me two months ago.

536
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 1: Two and a half years almost that. Yep, our relationship

537
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 1: long living dog, yeah, clear, dover living dog. Not a

538
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 1: little rat dog, not a little rat dog. I'm ready

539
00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:26,520
Speaker 1: about it. You're not ready for that.

540
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,880
Speaker 2: Our relationship is working out great. We rarely fight, and

541
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 2: even if we get into disagreements, we usually are able

542
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 2: to talk it through without ever getting agitated or aggressive.

543
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from f my effing life.

544
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 2: And if you want to spit your own stories, go

545
00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime subredded.

546
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Sam, I'm Keon, and we're.

547
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 2: Here to give good advice. Goofly. But we don't have

548
00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:49,199
Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we do, So

549
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 2: let us know what you would do in the comments

550
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 2: and Op says we both have different working hours. She

551
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,520
Speaker 2: works from eight am to four pm and I work

552
00:24:56,560 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 2: from ten am to seven pm. That's not a terrible

553
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 2: difference though. That's not dreadful.

554
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,320
Speaker 1: That's not dreadful. That's a three hour difference.

555
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, she can, like I don't know, have some relaxed

556
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,399
Speaker 2: time and then you have some two hours to relax

557
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 2: in the mornings.

558
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, you could make dinner for someone, make breakfast for

559
00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 1: the other, you know.

560
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 2: So every day I make breakfast for both of us

561
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 2: and she makes dinner.

562
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,680
Speaker 1: If our relationship guru.

563
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 2: Or what you can shoot up a podcast. Oh, Now,

564
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 2: my girlfriend likes her food a lot spicier than I do.

565
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,520
Speaker 2: I can handle spice, but I try to avoid it

566
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:39,919
Speaker 2: because eating spicy foods on a regular basis causes acne, breakouts, heartburn,

567
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:45,439
Speaker 2: and sometimes even the old diaries in your guts.

568
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:47,200
Speaker 1: That's not good. That's not good.

569
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:50,199
Speaker 2: Ever since we moved in together and she started cooking dinner,

570
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,560
Speaker 2: she likes to make the food spicier as for her

571
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,119
Speaker 2: taste buds. Almost four to five days a week we

572
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 2: eat some of some sort of stew or soup with

573
00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:01,400
Speaker 2: serrano peppers, tie or Indian curries with a lot of chilies,

574
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 2: and even pasta with Calabrian chilies or jalapenos added to

575
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 2: the sauce. She likes making as spicy.

576
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: I mean to be fair, Spiciness is like another axis

577
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:15,919
Speaker 1: of the food world. You know, you got your sweetness.

578
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,120
Speaker 1: Spiciness is like a thing you play with.

579
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 2: You know the thing is spicy. Certain spices do need

580
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 2: to be added earlier in the meal, like when you're

581
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:28,639
Speaker 2: cooking it, to let out the flavors. However, if she

582
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 2: knows that you can't handle spice, then I think it

583
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 2: would be considerate of her to maybe make like a

584
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 2: separate batch, like you you know, you pull some out

585
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:39,120
Speaker 2: when you need to put the thing in.

586
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:40,960
Speaker 3: And how's everyone's spice level here?

587
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,639
Speaker 1: I'm a medium, medium, medium spicy.

588
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 3: I'm mild.

589
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,160
Speaker 2: Yeah you can't. I know, we learned last night.

590
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 3: It depends the spice. Like sometimes you're spice worre it's

591
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,679
Speaker 3: like it's just to make it very hot and spicy

592
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:55,159
Speaker 3: if it's for flavor, because usually depending on the culture

593
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,360
Speaker 3: of the food, like salsa, like you would put salce

594
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,440
Speaker 3: on like your brito, or you're that's fine, like there's

595
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 3: a little spice or hall of Pango's really.

596
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 2: I love chili oil infa. I love chili.

597
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 3: I like puting the pinch of that. Yeah, but there's

598
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 3: some people who just I'm putting.

599
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,879
Speaker 1: Well, I feel like, I mean, if I was to

600
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,439
Speaker 1: come up with a solution here, it would be like

601
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 1: spice in the side, sauce on the side.

602
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was gonna say maybe now.

603
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 2: Honestly, it became too much for me. I've had really

604
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 2: bad stomach issues almost twice a week. My acne is

605
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 2: so bad that coworkers have and friends have straight up

606
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,400
Speaker 2: told me my face looks disgusting.

607
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,520
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's Those are some nice coworkers and friends.

608
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:33,400
Speaker 1: Either you have a terrible relationship with them or it's

609
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,000
Speaker 1: really really good and they feel like they can be

610
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:35,479
Speaker 1: honest with you.

611
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,560
Speaker 3: Those are the best friends. Like I would go to coding, like, dude,

612
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:37,960
Speaker 3: you're ugly.

613
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that I would go to my dermatologists.

614
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 1: Have amatologists on tap?

615
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 2: Well not on tap?

616
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like your dermatologist sounds like you have

617
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,200
Speaker 1: like a personal relationship with them.

618
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I do have a personal dermatologist.

619
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's like you go do eight dermatists.

620
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,360
Speaker 2: Okay, I'll go to our dermatologists, right, And I take

621
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 2: anti acids almost every day. I tried to tell my

622
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,160
Speaker 2: girlfriend to add fewer chilis, make two batches of the food,

623
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 2: or maybe add hot sauce to her portion, but every

624
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 2: time she just tells me to man up. And then

625
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 2: if I can't handle a little spice, I should adapt

626
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 2: since it's not always going to be in my control.

627
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 2: And at that point that's super rude.

628
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 3: Do you know what I would do?

629
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 2: What? I just would make my own food.

630
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,640
Speaker 3: One make food, but also just like all right, send

631
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 3: her a photo of the toilet every time. Oh yeah, yeah,

632
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 3: I'm manned up, that's what it looks like.

633
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, what's it called compliance?

634
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 1: Malicious compliance?

635
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 2: Delicious compliance. Last night, after dinner, I told my girlfriend

636
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 2: that we need to figure out some other way to

637
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 2: make dinner which keeps both of us satisfied, because I

638
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 2: can't keep eating like this.

639
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. Maybe she thought your first thing was like, you know,

640
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: it was playful banters a hahaha, just like man up.

641
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: But I think you need to tell her like the

642
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: serious problem, and I am like my bowels are exploding

643
00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: with him.

644
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, once again, I was met with the same thing

645
00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 2: she always says, but I helped my this time and

646
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 2: told her that I can in no way continue to

647
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 2: eat the food she is making because it is actively

648
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 2: damaging my health and I'm willing to cook my own

649
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 2: dinner from now on. She has been giving me the

650
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 2: cold shoulder ever since and saying that I do not

651
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 2: value her contributions to the household and that she'll have

652
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 2: to do twice the amount of work because I'm being

653
00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 2: a baby over spicy foods.

654
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 1: You can just make it less spicy.

655
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 2: I really don't love how she's reacting.

656
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 1: No, I feel like this is maybe a sign that

657
00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:28,800
Speaker 1: you don't have great communication.

658
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because if she's not listening to you when

659
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,320
Speaker 2: you say it's impacting your health, Yeah, it's not a

660
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 2: great sign. Am I in the wrong here? And there

661
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 2: are some relevant comments, but do you have any of

662
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 2: your own?

663
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: I do not think OP is in the wrong here. Again,

664
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:43,680
Speaker 1: this is the health thing.

665
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 2: Like if like if I said, like if I punched

666
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 2: Sam every day and he was like, hey, can you

667
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 2: stop doing that? You're like bruising me?

668
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:51,120
Speaker 1: Yeah?

669
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 2: Man, And then I was.

670
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: Like man U, yeah, man up. Yeah, the world's not

671
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,239
Speaker 1: the world's gonna be punching you every day. You know,

672
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 1: there's there's ops around her.

673
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,400
Speaker 2: I get punched in a another by another person.

674
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 3: I would also respond to her like, how does one

675
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,760
Speaker 3: man up to just constantly go in the bathroom like

676
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 3: four times a week?

677
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean exactly like that, just constantly go to the.

678
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 3: Two times a week.

679
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 2: I would tell her that that's actually going to the

680
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 2: bathroom a lot.

681
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 3: He said, he's going to the bathroom like at.

682
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: Least four times a week. I feel like it's normal.

683
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 2: No, no, no, a day.

684
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 3: I'm a day okay.

685
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 1: But like I was like worried about time she was

686
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: going to the bathroom and shepated.

687
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 3: Some people are you know.

688
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 1: Four times a week actually, Like I have a friend

689
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:31,680
Speaker 1: that poops like once every three days.

690
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 3: That's terrible. Every morning.

691
00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 2: They're not getting a fiber and taken.

692
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,479
Speaker 1: I know, I'm confused. I scared for them. Im like,

693
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 1: they eat, they eat, and they're a little little person.

694
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 2: They're not eating the right stuff. Common one quick question,

695
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 2: if you are making a savory breakfast, do you make

696
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:49,640
Speaker 2: hers differently than yours? Since she likes spice more?

697
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:51,479
Speaker 1: But what is ad hot sauce? Though?

698
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 2: Also yeah, like what what even what spicy breakfast is?

699
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 2: I mean, I know there are a different cultures, like yeah,

700
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 2: but that's not necessarily spicy. And you can always put

701
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 2: a hot sauce, which is like a like after.

702
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 1: The fact thing the fact John here og host, We're

703
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:07,480
Speaker 1: gonna get back to these stories, but a quick three

704
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 1: minute break from ass from our sponsors.

705
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 2: Opie says, So it depends. If I'm just making some

706
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 2: scrambled eggs, then I'll make mine and then add hot

707
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,920
Speaker 2: sauce while mixing her eggs. But I sometimes make homemade

708
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 2: sausage patties and those I just make the same sausage

709
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 2: mix then after cooking them all. Serve her sausage sandwich

710
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:28,000
Speaker 2: or whatever with some pickled peppers or sauter so yeah,

711
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 2: so o pie so OPI is here making separate meals

712
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 2: to accommodate for both of them, and she can't do that.

713
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 1: Well, no, he's not making separate meals.

714
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:38,960
Speaker 2: He's just adding separate sauces, yeah, which is what she

715
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 2: can do. Yeah, but he's like pickling peppers for her.

716
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 1: He's pickling peppers.

717
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, he said, adding pickled peppers.

718
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,280
Speaker 1: Pickled peppers, pie, pickle.

719
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 2: Peppers, picked a pickled pepper. But there is an update.

720
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 1: Peppers on the plate. Yeah, he's plating pickle peppers. He's

721
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 1: plating them, placing pickle peppers.

722
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 2: That night, I came home a little later due to work,

723
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 2: and my girlfriend had made an Asian flavored curry, once

724
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 2: again too hot for me to handle. Genuinely, If too

725
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 2: a hot new bombshell has the toison.

726
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 1: Hot sing bombshell.

727
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 2: Bombshell, Genuinely, if I had to have that conversation with

728
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 2: my partner and then they still didn't listen to me,

729
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 2: I'd be like, hey, this is not okay. I had

730
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 2: one bite, I'd say, hey, this is not okay. It's

731
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 2: not a wonderful type of day. I told my girlfriend

732
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 2: once again that I cannot eat the food she is making,

733
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:45,480
Speaker 2: since it is borderline poisoning me. She rolled her eyes

734
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 2: and told me to fill up on plain noodles since

735
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 2: she can't be bothered to make something else for me,

736
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 2: as she is tired.

737
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: Bro, she's such, she stinks.

738
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 2: I think we're at the two and a half year mark,

739
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 2: and I think this is this is done. I think

740
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 2: this is done. So I told that, since I'm not

741
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,640
Speaker 2: eating the food she makes anyway, I would simply start

742
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 2: making my own dinners from now on. She blew up

743
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:08,440
Speaker 2: at me, saying that if I make my own dinners,

744
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 2: then she would be forced to make her own breakfast,

745
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 2: and she doesn't have time to do that. I hadn't

746
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 2: even said anything about the breakfast arrangement, and I would

747
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,640
Speaker 2: have been happy to make both of our breakfasts, but

748
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 2: she was in no mood to listen.

749
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: I'm confused what's going on here.

750
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:21,920
Speaker 2: She just sounds awful.

751
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:25,360
Speaker 1: Maybe she just sounds really nasty. I feel like she must.

752
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,760
Speaker 1: I feel like this is an outsized reaction. She must

753
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 1: be upset about something else in the relationship.

754
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 2: She must be because this is a ridiculous thing that

755
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 2: is so easily solved, and I'm wondering why she has

756
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 2: so much attachment to beating Ope this who hot food.

757
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,600
Speaker 1: Maybe she doesn't believe Ope is like I don't man

758
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 1: enough for something.

759
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 2: Maybe that I also just don't think that she actually

760
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,320
Speaker 2: believes that Ope is affected by this, because I think

761
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 2: sometimes look.

762
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,720
Speaker 1: At the toilet. The proof is in the toilet.

763
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 2: Put But I think sometimes with people who can handle

764
00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 2: like really you know, heavy amounts of spy, Like I

765
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 2: have some friends who can't handle spices at all, and

766
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,360
Speaker 2: I'm always kind of surprised by that. I'm like, really

767
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 2: you can't, Like that doesn't even say spicy to me.

768
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,240
Speaker 2: But like some people really just can't handle any spice.

769
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,800
Speaker 3: This is like a fingerprint. Everyone has a different palette.

770
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:16,400
Speaker 2: Like like Keith from The Dryass has a geographic tongue,

771
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 2: so like his tongue literally can't handle the spice because

772
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:19,799
Speaker 2: it's so.

773
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 1: Sensitive geographic tongue where it's like when your like.

774
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 2: Tongue looks like it has like cracks in it, like

775
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 2: plates salt, and like I don't know, because people like that,

776
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 2: they can't even have sour candy yeah, I think I

777
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 2: think he's probably affected better or anyone.

778
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:35,320
Speaker 3: For that person.

779
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 2: She ranted about the smallest of things, like how I

780
00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,200
Speaker 2: don't bother changing into a home clothes before I eat dinner,

781
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 2: or how I get up later than her, I still

782
00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,439
Speaker 2: get up in time to make her breakfast between seven

783
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:47,839
Speaker 2: and seven thirty am. Yeah, why would you get up

784
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 2: at the same time as her? You don't have work

785
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 2: at the same time. She ranted for maybe ten to

786
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:53,080
Speaker 2: fifteen minutes.

787
00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 1: That's so long.

788
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 2: She's literally trying to like blame you for things. She's

789
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 2: avoiding the problem and is instead trying to blame you

790
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,520
Speaker 2: for things so that she can take the sheet off

791
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 2: of herself.

792
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 3: She's making more problems than the problem at hand.

793
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,439
Speaker 2: I asked her where this was suddenly coming from, since

794
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 2: she had never mentioned anything of the sort to me.

795
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:16,320
Speaker 1: Yes, oh, pis a issue. Yeah, oh P seems I mean. Also,

796
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 1: you know, everyone's going to make themselves look chill at

797
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:19,440
Speaker 1: ster own story.

798
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:21,880
Speaker 2: She went silent and told me to give her space

799
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:23,719
Speaker 2: and that she didn't want to talk to me for

800
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,960
Speaker 2: the time being. I went into the guest room and

801
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 2: slept away from her that night. For the next couple

802
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,359
Speaker 2: of days, we didn't talk much, each made her own

803
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 2: different meals and stayed in different rooms. On Saturday, I

804
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 2: asked her if she wanted to go for brunch, since

805
00:35:37,239 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 2: I figured spending some quality time would make us relaxed

806
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 2: and give us time to talk. When we came home,

807
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 2: I asked her if she wanted to talk about what

808
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,799
Speaker 2: had happened again. She got quiet and told me to

809
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:50,320
Speaker 2: just forget it and move on, and that the system

810
00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 2: we had in place for the past couple of days

811
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 2: was working for both of us.

812
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,280
Speaker 1: It was not. It was not working.

813
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 2: I was confused because we were now living like two

814
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 2: roommates in a share house and not like two people

815
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,120
Speaker 2: in love. I told her that the system was no

816
00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,800
Speaker 2: way working for me. I can't just stay with someone

817
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 2: I love without saying a single word, eating different meals,

818
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 2: sitting at the same table, sharing no time in the house.

819
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 2: She got even more upset, saying that I was ignoring

820
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,520
Speaker 2: her happiness and got annoyed when I said that I

821
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,480
Speaker 2: can't just ignore my own feelings. That's when she dropped

822
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,320
Speaker 2: the words, why can't you be more like Colin?

823
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 1: You're joking?

824
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,560
Speaker 2: Why can't you be more like Colin Robinson?

825
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 1: No?

826
00:36:29,239 --> 00:36:33,760
Speaker 2: He would never say stuff like this. She named Colin

827
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,160
Speaker 2: in the argument break up, break up?

828
00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: Is this a red flag? Yeah? Let us know? In

829
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:42,160
Speaker 1: the comment is this a red flag?

830
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 2: My girlfriend just name dropped another guy and compared me

831
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 2: to him in the middle of our argument. I immediately asked

832
00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:51,759
Speaker 2: who was Colin, and she stayed silent. After a lot

833
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 2: of questioning, she's crickle truth.

834
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:56,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, crickle truth. She wants to tell you that she's

835
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 1: been getting spicy with another man food.

836
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 2: After a lot of questioning, she said he was a

837
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 2: guy at her workplace. Colin is in a relationship with

838
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,720
Speaker 2: some other girl in the same office. They're good friends

839
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,280
Speaker 2: with my girlfriend, and it seems they have similar taste

840
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 2: in almost all things, like my hobbies.

841
00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 1: Men men similar tastes, and men think so. Her and

842
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 1: her workplace colleague and Colin on a little pollicu.

843
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:26,720
Speaker 2: Me and my girlfriend, on the other hand, have about

844
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 2: a fifty to fifty ratio. Oh of like liking the

845
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:32,279
Speaker 2: same things. I don't have any hobbies other than I

846
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:36,280
Speaker 2: like watches and watching tennis patches. Those aren't hobbies.

847
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 1: Liking watches.

848
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:39,320
Speaker 2: Liking watches isn't a hobby.

849
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,760
Speaker 1: I think it could Abby a hobby.

850
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 3: I don't think so, you're just telling time, but fancier.

851
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,439
Speaker 2: Interest and interest is in a hobby. If you were,

852
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 2: like your hobby was fixing up watches.

853
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess a hobby needs to be active.

854
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 2: A hobby needs to be active.

855
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: How about collecting watches.

856
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 2: That's still an interest. I don't think that's like maybe

857
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:57,360
Speaker 2: maybe that's more of.

858
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,440
Speaker 1: A liking cards a hobby.

859
00:37:59,600 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 2: I think I think that's I think collecting watches is

860
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 2: closer to hobby.

861
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 1: I think by like watches, he's saying I like collecting watches.

862
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, likes watches. What's wrong with that?

863
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 2: I just don't think that you have hobbies like looking

864
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,359
Speaker 2: at trains that could be a hobby, because that's if

865
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 2: you're going out watch it, watch it. That's not enough

866
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 2: a hobby.

867
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 1: How does that different than looking at trains? Sam?

868
00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 2: If your girlfriend only hobby was just looking at watches,

869
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,879
Speaker 2: I don't think that you would.

870
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,560
Speaker 1: I have a higher bar or what kind of hobbies

871
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,920
Speaker 1: I want my partner to have. But I think that

872
00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:38,319
Speaker 1: you could say, all right, watching birds is that a hobby? Yeah?

873
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:46,120
Speaker 1: That's active as watches, Yes they do. If a guy

874
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 1: is walking through space.

875
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,800
Speaker 2: What is people whose hobby is taxi?

876
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,240
Speaker 1: Look, the watch is moving, what is it?

877
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 2: Hobby is taxi? Their hobby isn't looking at taxidermy, it's making.

878
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 1: So if you are going to museums, you're just looking

879
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 1: at art.

880
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 2: What I say, like that musims, that's a hobby. I

881
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 2: work in a highly technical field designing construction equipment, while

882
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 2: she and by extension, Colin and his girlfriend work in

883
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:20,440
Speaker 2: a very creative field fashion and ornament designing. So my

884
00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:23,600
Speaker 2: girlfriend essentially has built up a mental image that Colin

885
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:26,320
Speaker 2: is in a perfect relationship because he and his girlfriend

886
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:29,239
Speaker 2: have the exact same interests, and honestly, both of them

887
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,800
Speaker 2: have much more similar interests with my girlfriend than me.

888
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:34,759
Speaker 2: So now my girlfriend wanted me to become more like

889
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 2: Colin so that our relationship can become more like theirs.

890
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 2: I tried to tell her that all relationships are different

891
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 2: and the only thing which matters is that we're happy together.

892
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:44,560
Speaker 1: She does not seem very happy.

893
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 2: Sounds like she yeah, He's like it's okay, it just

894
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 2: matters if we're happy together. And she's like, well, we're happy, right,

895
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 2: We're very happy.

896
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 1: Right. She's like no, see, all right, but also yeah,

897
00:39:55,239 --> 00:40:01,359
Speaker 1: just to refresh right. She was mad and was unmoving

898
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 1: on a very small thing. If that happens in a relationship,

899
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 1: usually there's something bigger.

900
00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 2: And here was. She wanted you to be like Colin.

901
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,560
Speaker 2: She tried to end the conversation, saying that she is

902
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 2: not comfortable talking about this with me, too bad, to

903
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:17,960
Speaker 2: which I said that if she wasn't going to talk

904
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 2: about this with me, who else would you talk to?

905
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 1: Collein? Colin? Colin, Oh, who are you going to call?

906
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 2: Colin? Colin?

907
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 1: Time Colin.

908
00:40:28,080 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 2: She just said that she was going to stay over

909
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 2: at a friend's house and we would talk tomorrow. And

910
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 2: she left.

911
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, probably calling to work next sick, calling to work

912
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 1: sick next tomorrow.

913
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,360
Speaker 2: At this point I was overwhelmed and confused, so I

914
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,759
Speaker 2: decided to spend the rest of the day searching for

915
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 2: good couples counselors since I could see which way our

916
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 2: relationship was going. I woke up Sunday morning and she

917
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 2: was already home.

918
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: You don't have to call a relationship counselor to see

919
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:55,120
Speaker 1: where this is going.

920
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pretty clear.

921
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 1: Look at where it's going.

922
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,240
Speaker 2: You just look out the window at where.

923
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,479
Speaker 1: It's going down.

924
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:03,880
Speaker 2: I cooked breakfast for both of us, but she had

925
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 2: already eaten at her friend's house. She started the conversation

926
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 2: by saying how bad she has been and that I

927
00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,120
Speaker 2: deserve better. Break up conversation.

928
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:18,120
Speaker 1: She cheated, she cheated, I've been a bad girl, so bad,

929
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:19,400
Speaker 1: I've been so bad.

930
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,880
Speaker 2: I was confused because rather than apologizing, she was just

931
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 2: stating all the things which made her a bad person.

932
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,239
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm so bad, I did all this. And

933
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,279
Speaker 2: he's like, okay, I gonna say sorry. And she's like,

934
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 2: and I also did this, say sorry about that? Nope, okay.

935
00:41:33,760 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 2: I told her to just come to the point, and

936
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 2: she told me she had been approached by Colin and

937
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,880
Speaker 2: his girlfriend to join their relationship as a third.

938
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:45,520
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that was pretty clear. I was pretty

939
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,160
Speaker 1: thought it was. I thought that maybe they were going

940
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,320
Speaker 1: to be cheating with Jess calling. I didn't know it

941
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 1: would be a third. Yep. I was also, that's so bold, yeah,

942
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 1: to be like, I don't feel I heard it. I

943
00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 1: haven't heard many cheating situations where it's like, like, your

944
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:04,040
Speaker 1: affair partner is not just one person, it's a cup two,

945
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 1: like I've heard, we've heard of multiple affair partners, but

946
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:10,239
Speaker 1: we've never heard of joints like a couple being the affair.

947
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:13,240
Speaker 2: Oh, so I think it's pretty bold for like your

948
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:14,719
Speaker 2: coworker to approach you with that.

949
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:15,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's crazy.

950
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 2: I was silent for some time and just asked her

951
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 2: to pack up and leave. She tried to hug me

952
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:22,480
Speaker 2: and talk to me, but I just pushed her off,

953
00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 2: told her to give me the keys before leaving, and

954
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 2: went into the extra room and cried my heart out.

955
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,200
Speaker 2: She came into my room maybe thirty to forty minutes later,

956
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 2: started crying after seeing me. She started cursing herself out

957
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 2: again and saying that I deserve better. But I just

958
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 2: told her that our tears meant nothing to me. That night,

959
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 2: I got a call from an unknown number. It was

960
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:42,920
Speaker 2: Colin Oh.

961
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 1: He was calling.

962
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,600
Speaker 2: Well, then you know that your girlfriend gave him the number.

963
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

964
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:50,799
Speaker 2: He started swearing at me about how I dared to

965
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 2: make girlfriend cry and that'll f me up?

966
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:58,520
Speaker 1: What Colin no be called in sick?

967
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,560
Speaker 2: Yeah? She I hung up on him after telling him

968
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,359
Speaker 2: that he can have her to himself and I'd rather

969
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 2: pass away than see her again. That's a crazy Some

970
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:11,399
Speaker 2: people are just crazy like this man actively steals Oh,

971
00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 2: P's girlfriend and then.

972
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 1: Colin, don't talk about my girlfriend like that?

973
00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 2: Yeah? What?

974
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:18,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, come on, come on, there's more.

975
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 2: A couple days later, while leaving for work, I saw

976
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 2: that someone had keyed my car and destroyed the plants

977
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 2: I keep outside my front door. I have a suspicion

978
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 2: about who it was. I think I think it was

979
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 2: absolutely Colin, but don't have any proof, so I'm not

980
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 2: filing any charges. I will set up cameras around my

981
00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 2: property soon, though. You gotta set them up.

982
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,240
Speaker 1: Eight eight pe, Yeah, I agreed, Colin.

983
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:44,120
Speaker 2: Colin's on the case.

984
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:47,160
Speaker 1: He's on the case. He's making his rounds.

985
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 2: As for my girlfriend, she has tried calling me multiple times,

986
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 2: but I decline every time. At first, she left voicemails

987
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 2: about how sorry she is and she just wants to talk.

988
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,840
Speaker 1: On crocodile t gragat alders to get.

989
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 2: Closure, but after I did not call back even once.

990
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 2: Now she's leaving comments about my past traumas and fears

991
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:10,399
Speaker 2: that I had talked to her about even speaking about

992
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:12,839
Speaker 2: the multiple times she had Colin and his girlfriend over

993
00:44:12,880 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 2: to my house when I was not at home and

994
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:17,120
Speaker 2: telling me what all they had done.

995
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:19,239
Speaker 1: What they were smooching on the low.

996
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 2: This is crazy. What's your angle? Girl? You're like, no,

997
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:24,360
Speaker 2: take me back.

998
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:28,239
Speaker 1: Well, just like when people get in this situation, they

999
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: cycle between being angry, angry, defensive, conciliatory.

1000
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:37,160
Speaker 2: I'm so disgusted by the fact that i wasted almost

1001
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,439
Speaker 2: three years of my life with her. I've been seeing

1002
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 2: a therapist regularly, also planning a weekend get away with

1003
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,480
Speaker 2: two of my best friends to Vegas. Slowly but surely,

1004
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 2: I'm getting better, majorly due to my friends. Don't know

1005
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 2: where i'd be without those two. There is a little

1006
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:52,320
Speaker 2: bit left to this story.

1007
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:56,680
Speaker 1: I mean, just like she's given you every reason to

1008
00:44:56,800 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 1: move on very quickly. I mean, there is any silver lining.

1009
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 1: She has given you numerous reasons to be like, all right,

1010
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:06,960
Speaker 1: I am done with you. You were not a good person

1011
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 1: to begin with. Let's move on.

1012
00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:09,439
Speaker 2: Let's let's get out of here.

1013
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,600
Speaker 1: Let's get out, Let's get it out.

1014
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 2: Stinks. I am considering selling this house and moving elsewhere

1015
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 2: due to security concerns and emotional reasons, but I'm not

1016
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:21,439
Speaker 2: sure if that would be the right move. I'm also

1017
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,320
Speaker 2: worried that she might share my address with my family

1018
00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 2: members who I'm not in contact with so that is

1019
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:30,080
Speaker 2: another factor. I'm trying to get an internal transfer at

1020
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 2: my current company since I like the working culture. But

1021
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,560
Speaker 2: if that does not work, I might just look for

1022
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:38,160
Speaker 2: jobs in other cities too. That sucks. Like literally, this

1023
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:39,880
Speaker 2: all started because Would He was like, Hey, I just

1024
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 2: can't handle that.

1025
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,600
Speaker 3: Do you think she was purposely trying to poison him

1026
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:47,759
Speaker 3: and trying to him break up with her?

1027
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think so.

1028
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I probably just trying to try to

1029
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 1: be difficult. Yeah.

1030
00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:56,040
Speaker 2: My main focus was just making sure I don't do

1031
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 2: something hugely damaging to myself. Now that I've had two

1032
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 2: to three weeks to down and get some control over myself,

1033
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,960
Speaker 2: I'll start looking at the longer picture. I don't think

1034
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 2: there will be any more updates after this. Hopefully my

1035
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 2: life just becomes a little more boring after and I

1036
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 2: can live peacefully for something.

1037
00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 1: Oh man, dang rough, you have tough dogs. Yeah, I

1038
00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:23,319
Speaker 1: can't believe it all started from like yeah, I think.

1039
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's something that often happens, that

1040
00:46:25,719 --> 00:46:28,880
Speaker 1: people will make a big deal out of a small

1041
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: thing because there's actually a big deal beneath the small thing.

1042
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:33,440
Speaker 2: It's always it's always the.

1043
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:38,320
Speaker 1: Case always sometimes the case, something always sometimes the case

1044
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:43,440
Speaker 1: Sean Caseys Colin sounds very manipulative. Ope's X needs to

1045
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:47,920
Speaker 1: be careful. I mean, I think sure, But I think

1046
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:50,080
Speaker 1: OP doesn't need to care about that anymore. I think

1047
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 1: she can fend for herself. M But do we got

1048
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 1: one more story? Oh? Baby, we got one more story

1049
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: for y'all. Hey, it's sam oj We're gonnet back to

1050
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 1: these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from

1051
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:06,800
Speaker 1: our sponsors to help support the show. My partner couldn't

1052
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:07,399
Speaker 1: stop lying?

1053
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 2: Why you always?

1054
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 1: Ye and me, thirty six female, have been with my partner,

1055
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:15,000
Speaker 1: thirty four male, for almost a decade. He's always had

1056
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:18,400
Speaker 1: a problem with lying. That is a terrible start.

1057
00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:20,919
Speaker 2: You should Yeah, he always had a problem line.

1058
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:24,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. I came in with such a healthy heart and

1059
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:26,799
Speaker 1: mindset when I met him that I automatically gave him

1060
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:30,080
Speaker 1: love and trust. He, on the other hand, was always

1061
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 1: skeptical of what I was doing and the intent behind it,

1062
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:35,160
Speaker 1: probably because he's always lying and that's like what he

1063
00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:35,880
Speaker 1: does for himself.

1064
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 2: This is mo o.

1065
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 1: My ego was so low that I didn't care what

1066
00:47:39,080 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 1: I needed to do to make him feel his best

1067
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:43,320
Speaker 1: and I personally saw it as my duty as a

1068
00:47:43,320 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 1: good partner to make him feel secure with me. By

1069
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 1: the way, this comes from tapidvand forty four to twenty

1070
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:49,400
Speaker 1: two and if you want to submit your own stories,

1071
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,840
Speaker 1: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. I'm Sam,

1072
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Keon, and we're here to give good

1073
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 1: advice goofly, but we don't have all the answers. We

1074
00:47:57,920 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 1: only know what we would do, So let us know

1075
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 1: what you would do. In the comments below, so Opie

1076
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,319
Speaker 1: says I didn't know his past, and if someone had

1077
00:48:04,360 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 1: heard him before, I wanted him to know that he

1078
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 1: was my priority and that I would do everything to

1079
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 1: make him feel safe anywhere I was. No matter how busy,

1080
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 1: I always picked up his calls. Many times I would

1081
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 1: even stay on a call for several minutes, putting everyone

1082
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 1: else on hold. I never declined his calls or told

1083
00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 1: him I'm busy, I'll talk later. He liked photos, so

1084
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 1: I constantly took pictures of everything and showed him, which

1085
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:27,320
Speaker 1: I gladly shared.

1086
00:48:27,600 --> 00:48:30,480
Speaker 2: I worry that this is maybe you have a person

1087
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:33,720
Speaker 2: who is a liar and avoidant, and then op who's

1088
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 2: maybe a little bit anxiously attacked, anxiously attached.

1089
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I think so.

1090
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:39,200
Speaker 2: It's never a good combo.

1091
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:42,560
Speaker 1: Never a good combo. Sometimes he accused me of lying

1092
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:46,719
Speaker 1: or sounding sketchy, even though I had never given him

1093
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:48,880
Speaker 1: a reason not to give me the benefit of that

1094
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 1: out projection. Still, I always made sure to fix it

1095
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: or do whatever was needed for him to believe me.

1096
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:56,800
Speaker 1: When he would give me the silent treatment and be cold,

1097
00:48:56,960 --> 00:49:00,279
Speaker 1: I'd cater to him even more since if I constantly

1098
00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 1: asked him what was wrong, he still wouldn't say. Instead,

1099
00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 1: he'd get more upset, and I didn't want to risk

1100
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:09,120
Speaker 1: losing him. Yeah again, recipe, I feel like OP knows

1101
00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:11,000
Speaker 1: in retrospect that this is not a good relationship.

1102
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,360
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Yeah, it does seem like that.

1103
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 1: We made it clear when we started dating that honesty

1104
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 1: was a must, but he's constantly broken the rule. While

1105
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:21,360
Speaker 1: always expecting honesty and transparency.

1106
00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:22,240
Speaker 2: For men, This is like a breakup.

1107
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:24,840
Speaker 1: He would go from not telling me anything important to

1108
00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 1: saying things like I can't believe he didn't tell me.

1109
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 1: I've tried to be understanding and patient, but it's taken

1110
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:31,799
Speaker 1: a lot on my mental health, amongst other stuff. He does.

1111
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,799
Speaker 1: I've developed PTSD with nightmares daily that worsened when his

1112
00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:38,080
Speaker 1: family's involved, an anxiety from dealing with his lies.

1113
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:41,560
Speaker 2: Worry that you're still in this relationship, I hope not.

1114
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 2: I worry that this is sounding like you're still in that.

1115
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 1: At first, when some things didn't make sense, I'd ask

1116
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:48,880
Speaker 1: him once and take his answer to what they were.

1117
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:51,360
Speaker 1: But then when more things stopped making sense, I started

1118
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,839
Speaker 1: softly asking more questions. He'd get upset and say, what's

1119
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 1: wrong with you? You don't understand simple things? Why do

1120
00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 1: you keep asking when I already told you? I was

1121
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:02,879
Speaker 1: always painted as being paranoid or overreacting. But as time

1122
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 1: went on, I started doing more detective work, and I

1123
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:09,520
Speaker 1: uncovered that my instincts were rights.

1124
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, trust your instincts, Trust your instincts.

1125
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:16,359
Speaker 1: You know again, trickle lying is the same thing lying

1126
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 1: all the way down.

1127
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:22,000
Speaker 2: If he's just telling white lies, yeah.

1128
00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:25,760
Speaker 1: Not good. He's lied about big things and small things,

1129
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:28,919
Speaker 1: which is usually true of compulsive liars. Maybe small lies

1130
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: to cover up the big lies.

1131
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's a snowballs.

1132
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,399
Speaker 1: Ball, snowball lies, and it only gets bigger the more

1133
00:50:35,440 --> 00:50:38,239
Speaker 1: you push that snowball down the mountain of lies. I've

1134
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 1: tried to communicate my expectations of transparency and was eager

1135
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 1: to answer any questions on the roads regaining trust, But

1136
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:48,319
Speaker 1: he always ends up getting defenses and says that I'm

1137
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,560
Speaker 1: being controlling, are harmful in my tone and words. For example,

1138
00:50:51,600 --> 00:50:54,880
Speaker 1: these days, when he gaslights me repeatedly, I've learned to say,

1139
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 1: are you stupid? From him previously saying that to me

1140
00:50:57,600 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 1: in arguments.

1141
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 2: See when it gets to that point.

1142
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 1: Because now you're becoming the person that you don't like.

1143
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if it's like, if you don't like when

1144
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 2: he says that, then we just leave the relationship. We

1145
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 2: don't turn it on our partner.

1146
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:10,400
Speaker 1: Recently, when his family made a last minute visit and

1147
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:12,080
Speaker 1: I had to be away, I told him not to

1148
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 1: lie about even the smallest thing. Again that is already.

1149
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:18,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you are already having to tell him because

1150
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 2: you know that he's a liar, Oh, please do not

1151
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:25,319
Speaker 2: lie even about like tiny little things. This relationship is over.

1152
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 1: Asking the liar not to lie about lying is like asking.

1153
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 2: A fish to swim not to bark.

1154
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:35,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, asking a little rat to wawa dog not to bark. Specifically,

1155
00:51:35,920 --> 00:51:39,319
Speaker 1: they bark all the time. It's in their nature. He

1156
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 1: reassured me and said he'd be so transparent that it

1157
00:51:43,160 --> 00:51:45,839
Speaker 1: would feel like I was right there with him. Well,

1158
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 1: not too long after, he lied about something as small

1159
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,320
Speaker 1: as eating a piece of bread, and then got defensive

1160
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,759
Speaker 1: when I confronted him. He added a few more micro lies.

1161
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:54,840
Speaker 1: As we argued about the initial one he hit me with.

1162
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 1: I said, I'm sorry, and I won't lie again. What

1163
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:58,719
Speaker 1: more do you want me to say? You won't drop it.

1164
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,760
Speaker 1: I'm tired of this bay. It's not just about the bread.

1165
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 1: It's about the fact that he can't seem to tell

1166
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:06,359
Speaker 1: the truth even when it's easy. I've said a few

1167
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:08,600
Speaker 1: things to him during arguments, one of which is the

1168
00:52:08,719 --> 00:52:12,200
Speaker 1: constant lying. Knowing it's hurting your partner is husband material,

1169
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 1: and I crave to be with a man who can

1170
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:17,160
Speaker 1: be easily transparent with me because he respects me enough

1171
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 1: honor what I'm not comfortable with. Also, just a quick reminder,

1172
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 1: if someone's a compulsive liar, they're probably a people pleaser.

1173
00:52:25,120 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 1: They're lying to appease.

1174
00:52:26,719 --> 00:52:28,840
Speaker 2: You, right yeah, because they know you won't maybe like,

1175
00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 2: won't like a certain thing, and so it's just easier

1176
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:32,959
Speaker 2: for them to lie.

1177
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:39,360
Speaker 1: There often a connection with adultery and people pleasing, because again,

1178
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 1: like you want to please everyone, and if someone asks

1179
00:52:41,680 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: you to do something something frisky, you're like, well, I

1180
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:46,000
Speaker 1: don't want to make them upset, and maybe I want

1181
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,280
Speaker 1: to do that too. You know, It's like it's all,

1182
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:52,280
Speaker 1: it's all kind of connected. It's all connected, it acted,

1183
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:56,160
Speaker 1: it's one big pyramid scheme man, because he respects me

1184
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:58,480
Speaker 1: enough to honor what I'm not comfortable with. This of

1185
00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 1: course includes him, but he chooses to disqualify himself all

1186
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:04,799
Speaker 1: the time. I've stuck around this long to prove, Oh,

1187
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:07,120
Speaker 1: this long, and I think this is present day.

1188
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:08,560
Speaker 2: He's still with this person.

1189
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:11,359
Speaker 1: God, I've stuck around this long to prove I don't

1190
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:14,680
Speaker 1: want any other man for it. He is morally towards me,

1191
00:53:14,719 --> 00:53:16,359
Speaker 1: specifically me. He treats others better.

1192
00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:21,440
Speaker 2: I don't understand why you're putting yourself help through freaking crucifixion.

1193
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:24,279
Speaker 1: Lying is a norm with him and his family, and

1194
00:53:24,320 --> 00:53:27,239
Speaker 1: my experience with them has helped me pinpoint the root

1195
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:29,200
Speaker 1: of this habit and the reason he uses lying to

1196
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 1: cope in his life. Still, I told him it's unacceptable

1197
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:34,239
Speaker 1: in our relationship the same way he doesn't want me

1198
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,759
Speaker 1: to lie, but seeing me emotionally break down isn't enough

1199
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:38,520
Speaker 1: for him to stop. When he said to me, if

1200
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:40,320
Speaker 1: you want to go find another guy that you crave,

1201
00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:44,719
Speaker 1: I was infuriated, cut him off and said, okay, oh phu,

1202
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:47,600
Speaker 1: why are you? I knew he was going to make

1203
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:49,520
Speaker 1: it seem like I wanted another guy and not focus

1204
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:51,919
Speaker 1: on the honesty part, as if I don't deserve someone

1205
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 1: who is honest with me. But it's a little bit more.

1206
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,359
Speaker 2: Check out of this relationship.

1207
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:57,640
Speaker 1: Check out of this relationship.

1208
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,399
Speaker 2: It's bad, and you know it's bad. Yeah, if someone's

1209
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:03,360
Speaker 2: consistently lying, what is the reason of what I just

1210
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:06,759
Speaker 2: don't like? Is there any redeeming quality here about him,

1211
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:09,520
Speaker 2: about this man that is lied for the whole term

1212
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 2: of your relationship?

1213
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:13,480
Speaker 1: I don't think so. But opas am I the a

1214
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 1: hole for getting angry about being lied to about a

1215
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:19,000
Speaker 1: piece of bread and other small things. I did ask

1216
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 1: him not to lie while I was away, even about

1217
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 1: the smallest thing, because historically when he lies about small things,

1218
00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:25,840
Speaker 1: there's always a huge thing behind it, to which he

1219
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 1: promised not to and even said he'd be so transparent

1220
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 1: that it would feel like I was there anyway, so

1221
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:35,279
Speaker 1: it feels like betrayal. Shouldn't that request be enough to respect? Yes? Yeah,

1222
00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 1: I broke up with someone from a small lie because

1223
00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 1: she lied about big things. Yeah, and I have no

1224
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,960
Speaker 1: regrets exactly. I wanted to know if I'm being unreasonable, Yes,

1225
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:48,040
Speaker 1: you are. He seems to not understand my fistration. Are

1226
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:51,719
Speaker 1: you guys able to understand it? Or am I wrong.

1227
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:54,120
Speaker 2: Being unreasonable because you're still in this relationship?

1228
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 1: You should leave not listening? Too reasonable to think this,

1229
00:54:57,520 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 1: I think, Yes, it's like, oh, like, oh, she's a

1230
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:01,200
Speaker 1: small thing saying I should let it go, Like, I

1231
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 1: understand that logic, But again, it's not a small thing.

1232
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:08,600
Speaker 1: This is a consistent, big thing that has encompassed the

1233
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:13,239
Speaker 1: whole relationship. Breaking up because someone disrespects a boundary that

1234
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:14,920
Speaker 1: you put up because of big things in the past

1235
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:17,880
Speaker 1: with a small thing, is I think.

1236
00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:19,319
Speaker 2: The healthiest thing the healthiest thing?

1237
00:55:19,440 --> 00:55:22,359
Speaker 1: Yeah? And I think, well, I think like I've had

1238
00:55:22,440 --> 00:55:24,919
Speaker 1: relationships in the past where like partner has been doing

1239
00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:27,320
Speaker 1: something that hasn't been okay, and I put up a

1240
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 1: boundary and then there's been a small transgression of that.

1241
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:32,520
Speaker 1: I actually like, for me, it didn't feel bad breaking

1242
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 1: up with those partners because it symbolized a disrespect of

1243
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:40,360
Speaker 1: the boundary in general and of like the relationship context.

1244
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,120
Speaker 2: I agree. I think if you put up a boundary,

1245
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:47,040
Speaker 2: and in this case, he consistently disrespects it, then he's

1246
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 2: not going to ever respect you because you've shown that

1247
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:51,799
Speaker 2: it doesn't even matter when you put up boundaries, because

1248
00:55:51,840 --> 00:55:53,359
Speaker 2: you're not going to actually follow through.

1249
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:56,239
Speaker 1: Lori Hensler has a bar in the chat right now

1250
00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 1: and says you cannot have an authentic relationship when you

1251
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 1: aren't dealing with the truth.

1252
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:05,920
Speaker 2: True, and that's true. That is true there, Yeah, But truthfully,

1253
00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:07,640
Speaker 2: I think there's a little.

1254
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:10,040
Speaker 1: Bit like that's it. Truthfully, that's the end of that story.

1255
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,359
Speaker 2: And that story and if you love us, make sure

1256
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:13,719
Speaker 2: to subscribe We love

1257
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:16,240
Speaker 1: You and see you tomorrow.