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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of You

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Speaker 1: Need Therapy Podcast. My name is Kat. I am the host,

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Speaker 1: and if you are new or newer to the podcast,

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Speaker 1: I have two things up top for you. One what

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Speaker 1: is couch Talks. It is the special bonus episode that

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Speaker 1: comes out every single Wednesday where I answer questions that

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Speaker 1: you guys send to me and you can send those

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Speaker 1: to Katherine at you Need Therapy podcast dot com. And

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Speaker 1: the second thing is just along with all of the

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Speaker 1: other episodes, even though I'm answering your questions on here,

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Speaker 1: this podcast does not serve as a replacement or substitute

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Speaker 1: for any actual mental health services. Now, we usually answer

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Speaker 1: one question a week, and we're going to do that today.

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Speaker 1: I always keep them anonymous, and I really wanted to

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Speaker 1: answer the question that I'm bringing you today right away

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Speaker 1: because it actually came after we put out the episode

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Speaker 1: on Monday about Little Tea trauma. So I wanted to

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Speaker 1: go ahead and talk about this now because it just

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Speaker 1: fits so nicely with what we talked about on Monday.

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna read the question, then we're gonna talk

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Speaker 1: about it. Hey, Kat, are there things that are universally

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Speaker 1: traumatic if a client says something like I was assaulted,

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Speaker 1: but I don't really feel like it was traumatic. Would

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Speaker 1: you tend to believe them, or would you think that

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Speaker 1: there is trauma but there are maybe not ready to

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Speaker 1: acknowledge it yet? Does the rule of allowing others to

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Speaker 1: decide if something was or was not traumatic for them

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Speaker 1: only apply to little T trauma? This is a really

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Speaker 1: good question, and like I said, it comes kind of

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Speaker 1: right off the tales of the episode that came out

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Speaker 1: on Monday where we talked about what little T trauma is.

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Speaker 1: And in that episode, I talked about how I find

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Speaker 1: it very important to allow clients themselves to decide if

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Speaker 1: something is or is not traumatic to them. And when

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Speaker 1: I say say that, what I really am getting at

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Speaker 1: is a belief of mine and a lot of other

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Speaker 1: therapists that it's really our job to help other people,

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Speaker 1: like our clients, gain back the power that possibly experiencing

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Speaker 1: their trauma might have robbed of them. And I can

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Speaker 1: help somebody see that what they've experienced was not normal,

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Speaker 1: what they've experienced was not their fault, was something that

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Speaker 1: never should have happened. And I can help somebody understand

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Speaker 1: that the thing that they experienced might be something that

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Speaker 1: would be considered traumatic and can be considered as a

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Speaker 1: traumatic experience, and at the same time, clients, my clients

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Speaker 1: are allowed to disagree and also decide what they want

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Speaker 1: to do with that information. And like I said right before,

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Speaker 1: that a lot of my job and what I hope

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Speaker 1: to offer to people that have experienced things like this

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Speaker 1: is less about telling them what is and isn't true

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Speaker 1: about them and their experience and more about offering them

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Speaker 1: back power that was taken from them during those experiences.

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Speaker 1: And the label of trauma is really less important in

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Speaker 1: these scenarios than the permission or the safety to feel,

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Speaker 1: experience and respond to what may have happened or what

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Speaker 1: somebody may have gone through. And there are things, there's

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Speaker 1: definitely things that I believe we would be hard pressed

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Speaker 1: not to suffer some sort of repercussion after going through

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Speaker 1: I do believe that there are things that, yes, would

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Speaker 1: fall into that category. And no matter what that experience is,

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Speaker 1: no matter what that trauma is, we are all going

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Speaker 1: to be wired to respond to them in different ways.

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Speaker 1: Not everyone who goes through X will experience Y, and

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Speaker 1: so I can ask questions about somebody's experience but I

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Speaker 1: think that assuming and putting that assumption out there very

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Speaker 1: strongly to somebody who may have experienced some of these

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Speaker 1: things isn't always the best route to go. In many instances,

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Speaker 1: trauma survivors struggle with the fear of not being believed,

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Speaker 1: and I think more important than getting them to see

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Speaker 1: what I see on the outside of their emotional response

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Speaker 1: system is creating a relationship where they feel safe enough

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Speaker 1: that they will be believed and acknowledged of their experience

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Speaker 1: for how they experienced it, and that I think another

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Speaker 1: part that is more important than forcing a narrative of

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Speaker 1: mine onto them is also for them to feel that

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Speaker 1: same sense of safety in the fact that what they share,

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Speaker 1: what they choose to share and say, is not going

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Speaker 1: to be too much for me or for them to

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Speaker 1: sit with. And I talk about often how one of

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Speaker 1: the greatest gifts of becoming a therapist has been me

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Speaker 1: developing the tendency to lean towards curiosity versus judgment, specifically

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Speaker 1: in my office, and what may appear as resistance or

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Speaker 1: avoidance on the surface may very well be something else,

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Speaker 1: and taking space and time to understand where someone is

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Speaker 1: coming from is often more helpful than first and foremost

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Speaker 1: pushing them to adhere to my assumption of where they

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Speaker 1: are or what they should be. So, in a long

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Speaker 1: winded way to answer your question, and the most therapist

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Speaker 1: form is it really depends. It really all depends sometimes

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Speaker 1: not always yes, no, and maybe. So I hope that

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Speaker 1: that very nondirect answer offered some clarity in the question

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Speaker 1: that was asked around trauma and if there are certain

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Speaker 1: spaces where it wouldn't make sense to allow a client

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Speaker 1: to be able to decide for themselves if something was

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Speaker 1: traumatic or not. That is going to do it today

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Speaker 1: for this episode of couch Talks. If you guys have

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Speaker 1: any questions, feedback, comments, concerns, anything, you can send them

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Speaker 1: to me Katherine at You Need Therapy podcast. You can

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Speaker 1: follow me at Kat dot Defada on Instagram and at

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Speaker 1: you Need Therapy Podcasts on Instagram and at three Quart

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Speaker 1: Therapy on Instagram if you'd like to follow my therapy

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Speaker 1: practice as well. I will be back with you guys

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Speaker 1: on Monday for a new episode. Until then, I hope

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Speaker 1: you guys have the day you need to have