WEBVTT - Alone Or On Your Own? 0:00:12.920 --> 0:00:14.920 Welcome back to I Do Part two. 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:18.560 It's your celebrity mentor Kelly Ben Simone and you hear 0:00:18.680 --> 0:00:21.840 us on every episode. We tell you listeners to call 0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:25.239 us and email us. The podcast is for you. I'm 0:00:25.280 --> 0:00:28.600 so excited today because it's exactly what we're doing, she 0:00:28.720 --> 0:00:32.000 wrote to us. She's a real life gal in her 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:35.159 I Do Part two chapter and I can't. 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:38.160 Wait to get to know all about her. Welcome Kate 0:00:38.240 --> 0:00:41.120 to the pod. Hi Kate, how are you? 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:44.559 Bye? Thank you? Thank you so much for having me. 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:47.320 I love this subject so I actually I can't wait 0:00:47.400 --> 0:00:48.920 to break all this down. 0:00:49.120 --> 0:00:49.880 There's so much. 0:00:50.240 --> 0:00:50.800 Oh my god. 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:54.160 Well, I'm so excited that you're open to this. So 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:58.160 first of all, congratulations being on the podcast. We have 0:00:58.280 --> 0:01:02.680 a lot to deep dive deep into. So first of all, 0:01:03.800 --> 0:01:06.399 how long have you been divorced? 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:08.520 I have been divorced three years. 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:10.600 And how long were you guys married? 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:13.720 We were married for seventeen and a half years. 0:01:14.520 --> 0:01:18.959 Oh my gosh, Kate, that is crazy. Wait, how are 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:19.480 you feeling? 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:23.279 I feel amazing right now. 0:01:23.560 --> 0:01:25.200 I feel lighter. 0:01:26.680 --> 0:01:32.920 It sounds cliche, but I truly smell the roses now, 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:37.400 even this morning out my window. They're the same roses 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:42.200 that have been there for sixteen years, and it's really 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:49.600 just recently, I'm just I take the little things in now. 0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:54.000 I'm just so much more grateful, whether you know it's 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:59.120 the roses or being with friends. So yeah, I'm feeling great. 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:02.560 That's not to say there aren't many highs and lows 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:02.760 of this. 0:02:03.080 --> 0:02:05.440 Oh my goodness, Oh my godness. Wait, so do you 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:06.280 do you have children? 0:02:06.600 --> 0:02:10.680 I do. I have one sixteen year old, a boy. 0:02:11.360 --> 0:02:13.560 You have a sixteen year old. You look like you 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:15.519 are sixteen. Oh my god. So you have a sixteen 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:16.079 year old. 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:17.440 And I'm forty nine. 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:19.840 You do not look forty nine. Gorgeous. 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:23.440 So you have a little boy sixteen. So he's in 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:26.160 the middle of his own maturation process. 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:29.800 So walk me through now that. 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:33.080 You're single after seventeen years, walk me through, like how 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:35.160 you're dating with a younger son. 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:41.359 I wouldn't be dating if he didn't give me the okay. 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:46.919 So it was at the a about two year mark, 0:02:47.080 --> 0:02:49.560 and he had been out of town and I had 0:02:49.600 --> 0:02:53.880 gone on a lunch date on one day and a 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:56.239 dinner date on on the other. 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:58.880 And when he asked me what I had. 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:03.600 Done over the weekend, it happened organically, and I told 0:03:03.639 --> 0:03:06.640 him I had gone out on two dates and he said, 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:09.240 as long as they aren't weird and make me happy, 0:03:09.440 --> 0:03:13.120 that he doesn't mind. Kind of a typical boy teenager. 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:15.639 I don't know what it would be like with a daughter. 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:20.160 I think maybe it would be harder. But my son 0:03:20.320 --> 0:03:28.120 knows about me dating and he yes, he's very supportive. 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:30.440 So a lot of a lot of our listeners ask 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:33.359 about how to navigate dating with children. 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:36.640 And I also had I had very. 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:40.040 Young girls when I when I got separated and divorced 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:41.240 from my ex husband. 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:43.800 We were married for over ten years, and it. 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:48.200 Was really difficult because on the one hand, I wanted, 0:03:49.080 --> 0:03:50.760 you know, I always wanted a family for my family, 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:53.040 So I was like, oh my gosh, okay, how am I. 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:54.760 Going to what does this look like? What is this 0:03:55.080 --> 0:03:56.080 you know, going to be like? 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:59.880 And I just I was so nervous to introduce that 0:04:00.160 --> 0:04:04.280 to anyone for for a very very long time. And 0:04:05.320 --> 0:04:07.920 you know, even when I would be introducing them, it 0:04:07.920 --> 0:04:09.640 would be like a big group of people, so they 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:12.520 didn't even know like who was who. They're like, oh, yeah, 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:15.600 that's so one she works with it. They never really knew, 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:18.320 like what was what? So I love that you guys 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:22.000 are having this transparent conversation and I love that he's 0:04:22.040 --> 0:04:22.720 supporting you. 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:26.080 I mean, that's so so sweet. It's so sweet. 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:30.080 Now having said that, he has not well, he has 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:33.520 not met anybody I've dated, because I would want to 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:37.520 be in love before I introduced him to anybody. So 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:42.800 I haven't even come close of wanting to introduce him 0:04:43.160 --> 0:04:47.320 to anybody, even though I have met some wonderful people. 0:04:47.960 --> 0:04:48.680 I love that. 0:04:49.240 --> 0:04:51.920 And so just like, I mean, that's just a big statement, 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:54.440 like to being in love. I mean, are you are 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:57.320 you nervous about doing that at some point? 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:01.719 I'm not nervous because it hasn't even come close to that. 0:05:02.040 --> 0:05:06.880 You're like, not even close. I've only been dating a year. 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:08.880 And when I say. 0:05:08.560 --> 0:05:10.720 That, I mean it's not like I'm going on all 0:05:10.760 --> 0:05:14.480 these dates all the time. They're just obviously being a 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:17.160 mom that that doesn't happen. 0:05:17.360 --> 0:05:21.160 They're woven into your free time. 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:26.320 Yes, And so I am not scared or it does 0:05:26.440 --> 0:05:30.200 not make me nervous because I know the person I 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:36.000 introduce him to it will be a long term relationship. 0:05:35.320 --> 0:05:39.800 And I and I want to keep my dating separate 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:41.159 from him, right. 0:05:41.279 --> 0:05:43.880 I appreciate that, and it's I mean, it's also difficult 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:46.000 too because he's going, you know, he's in that magituation 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:49.359 process and he's like, you know, hormonally, I'm sure, like 0:05:49.440 --> 0:05:51.560 all over the place and he's looking at girls. 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:53.520 And then he's like, wait, my mom is dating. I'm dating. 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:54.080 This is weird. 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:57.840 Wait I'm pros saying this. I'm like, wait, this is weird. 0:05:58.520 --> 0:06:00.320 But I love how your handle it. 0:06:00.720 --> 0:06:03.080 So how have you been dating? Have you been just 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:03.760 been meeting people? 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:06.760 Are you telling your friends, hey, I'm single, Like, what's 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:08.440 what's what have you been doing? 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:12.159 So the first two dates I went on, I was 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:14.320 set up through mutual friends. 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:16.039 Okay, how is that? 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:20.279 And I think it was so important for me to 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:22.400 rip the band aid. 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:25.960 It is very It is not for the faint of heart. 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:27.600 It is so difficult. 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:30.359 Even the getting ready process, something you do all the 0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:32.960 time that you think nothing of it, and even when 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:38.880 they're not cute you it's just very nerve wracking. It 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:40.159 is very nerve wracking. 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:44.359 The going going with a total stranger. 0:06:44.880 --> 0:06:47.440 You have to give yourself a bone. I mean it 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:50.279 has been two decades. I mean you were dressing for 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:53.680 your husband and now you're dressing for a day. It's 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:57.560 a totally kind of getting dressed. Okay, wait, tell me, like, 0:06:57.800 --> 0:06:59.440 so what's your go to off it do you have? 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:00.520 Like okay, do you have a go. 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:03.120 To Oh well, it depends. 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:07.960 I live in the suburbs and I do love to 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:13.120 go into the city for day and so, and it 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:17.520 depends on the time of year and the location and 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:19.600 what we're doing. 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:21.680 It look great right now, So this is like, this 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:23.200 is like a vibe, This is like a thing. 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:28.240 This is I have my child's sporting event to go 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:31.360 to this afternoon, and it is going to be hot, 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:32.840 and I'm wearing the school colors. 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:35.800 Okay, well you look great. Green looks really good on you. 0:07:35.800 --> 0:07:37.920 You know I always when people ask me, like what 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:41.400 colors to what to wear? I always say, like, something colorful, 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:45.600 because you know, men really love red, they love color. 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:47.200 I mean the you know, women are always like I'm 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:49.600 wearing black. Women don't necessarily. You know, one of my 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:51.240 friends who owned a store, she was like, are you 0:07:51.320 --> 0:07:53.560 dressing for men? Are you dressing for women? And like, well, 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:55.680 when you're on date, you're dressing for men. So men 0:07:55.840 --> 0:07:59.720 do tend to like more colorful things. You look you 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:01.720 look rate in color, so you should wear more color 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:02.680 that looks really good. 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:03.400 Thank you. 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:06.520 I'm just curious you're like a blazer girl or are 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:08.200 you like shirt? 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:08.640 Yes? 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:16.200 Uh, Cammi, Cammi blazer jeans. I went on a date 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:21.160 a couple of weeks ago. I love Stod and in fact, 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:25.080 this is Stad and I had a Stad skirt. 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:26.800 With just a tank. 0:08:26.920 --> 0:08:31.760 I I like to keep it simple, classic, true, true 0:08:31.800 --> 0:08:36.440 to my personality and what I what I like to wear, 0:08:36.640 --> 0:08:41.800 you can't beat. For summer, I loved my white Chris 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:45.800 blouse tied a little bit with white jeans. And it 0:08:45.840 --> 0:08:50.880 was a super casual place, so some sneakers honestly to 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:54.280 just make it fun because it was. It was a 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:58.160 meet and greet in the like around for four to 0:08:58.240 --> 0:08:59.520 six hours, so to speak. 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:01.800 So I also don't want to look too dolled up. 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:03.560 Right, But let's let's talk about that because I mean, 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:06.079 obviously you're really pretty. And so when you're doing these 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:08.360 meet and greek do you prefer like do you prefer dinner? 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:11.359 Do you prefer you know, having a cocktail? 0:09:11.520 --> 0:09:13.960 Like? What is it? What exactly is a meat and greet? 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:20.000 Let me in on this. I need to know this one. 0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:22.480 I called a meet and greet because he lived out 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:27.480 of town and he was picking up his daughter from college, 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:30.960 and so he was in town and he only had 0:09:31.360 --> 0:09:34.960 a two hour window, which fantastic because we did not 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:38.160 do a FaceTime before, which I do like a FaceTime 0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:38.760 before to. 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:39.760 Cut down on nerves. 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:44.400 Okay, so it was I mean obviously at his picture, 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:46.760 but you never know with the picture. So that's why 0:09:46.840 --> 0:09:49.120 I called it a meet and greek because it was. 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:53.840 There was a hard stop, which was amazing because check 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:54.320 the box. 0:09:54.400 --> 0:09:55.319 I got a date. 0:09:55.160 --> 0:09:59.440 In I met somebody new and I was home in 0:09:59.480 --> 0:10:02.640 my JAMMI and all comfy and watching a show. 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:08.320 You know, it wasn't late because I did. I didn't 0:10:08.360 --> 0:10:09.559 go out with him again. 0:10:09.640 --> 0:10:13.360 It was a My goal is to wait wait before wait, 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:15.040 wait before you tell me your goal. I just I'm 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:17.640 obsessed with this. So because I love how you are. 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:20.400 I love that you're like, Okay, I'm dating, this is 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:22.880 me dating. This is I'm going to dress the part. 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:25.160 I'm going to be one hundred percent there for it 0:10:25.200 --> 0:10:27.240 with my meet and greet, and then I have a 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.240 hard stop because I need to go home to my 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:31.840 jammys and to my favorite show. 0:10:32.840 --> 0:10:36.240 He gave me this out of having the hard stop. 0:10:36.520 --> 0:10:37.640 Oh he did what he's saying. 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:41.200 He was in town before we set up the date. 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:44.440 He was in town to pick up his daughter from college, 0:10:44.480 --> 0:10:46.800 so he had to pick her up at a certain 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:50.000 time at college. So we even take out for her 0:10:50.080 --> 0:10:53.000 because she was going to be hungry, and I'm like, oh, 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:54.680 she would like this, she would like that. It's like, 0:10:57.040 --> 0:11:02.040 so I didn't have to have that anxietiety of wanting 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:04.080 to high tail it and get out of there, because 0:11:04.120 --> 0:11:05.439 it was a lovely. 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:10.720 I have the mentality on I think people. 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:16.240 I mean, they're great people, And am I like super 0:11:16.240 --> 0:11:19.480 attracted to them or am I feeling sparks? No, But 0:11:19.559 --> 0:11:23.120 I think to sit down to a nice meal and 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:28.800 get to know somebody that I find interesting, I enjoy, 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:31.640 I enjoy the time. I just don't want to necessarily 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:38.960 go again or you know, continue continue, you know, to 0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:40.520 explore it further, so to speak. 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:43.959 So having said that, what do you think has changed 0:11:44.000 --> 0:11:46.240 with the dating scene, Because obviously it's been two decades 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:47.640 since you've been on these dates, and all of a 0:11:47.679 --> 0:11:50.040 sudden you're like doing these meet and greets and face times. 0:11:50.640 --> 0:11:52.240 So what do you think has changed? 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:57.000 We are all checking boxes right, No, when I was young, 0:11:57.640 --> 0:12:02.600 it is so boy me girl, girl thinks boy is 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:06.360 super hot, and the boys into the girl. And you've 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:10.920 met because you've gone to the same college and your 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:14.520 sorority you know does things with his fraternity, or you've 0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:20.320 met during young adulting and you meet you know, you meet, oh, 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:23.240 you meet at work, and it's based. 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:26.120 On like Jess, chemical attraction. 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:30.280 Connecting. You're not. 0:12:32.440 --> 0:12:37.800 Mentally going through your checkboxes because this part too so 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:42.520 to speak of, which I am super excited for. 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:47.240 But at the same time, if it doesn't happen, I am. 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:50.120 I really am at peace for that because I don't 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:51.679 know if it will. Well. 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:53.560 Also, that's good though you have to stay I mean, 0:12:53.559 --> 0:12:55.880 I think that one of the most important parts of 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:59.560 this I do era is that you're staying calm and 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:04.840 that you're celebrating yourself and all of these new possibilities 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:07.840 and opportunities. I mean, you never know, Like I mean, 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:11.640 I think that's one thing for me because I called 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:13.800 off my wedding last year, four days before I supposed 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:16.760 to get married, and so you know, for me, I'm 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:17.480 not thank you. 0:13:18.200 --> 0:13:21.480 I mean, it still feels like that could feel like 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:22.280 a divorce. 0:13:22.400 --> 0:13:24.679 Like yeah, it just was like very It just made 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:27.880 me feel very really really like very insecure. But I 0:13:27.960 --> 0:13:30.319 think one of the things that I've learned through this 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:33.520 whole process is that I'm just more relaxed with who 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:37.079 I am and like I want I obviously want men 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:38.800 to you know, be. 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:40.839 Attracted me in all these things, but I also want 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:42.240 to just feel good myself. 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:46.559 I'm just very I'm like very happy with that. Okay, 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:47.640 what kind of guys do you like? 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:49.040 Let's get into it. 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:52.200 Come on, cake, give me the teeth, come on, Okay, 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:53.360 what kind of guys do you like? 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:55.840 So younger older? 0:13:56.000 --> 0:14:01.000 Brunet Speaking of older, I mentioned that I'm forty nine. 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:04.160 Well, I mean, you're not old, no one, you're forty nine, 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:05.800 But I don't like the whole older. 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:09.360 I mean, have you seen yourself in the mirror? You're gorgeous, Like, okay, ages, 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:12.600 it's a number. I know, you're gorgeous. You could date anyone. 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:17.280 The only people that I have been out with are 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:19.800 fifty eight, fifty fifty nine. 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:21.880 And there was one guy that on his. 0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:24.440 Profile said he was fifty four. To his credit, he 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:27.080 looked dang good for sixty. And when I asked him 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:29.360 on his date, you know, I weave it in like. 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:30.280 Oh, when's your birthday? 0:14:30.680 --> 0:14:31.040 Oh wow? 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:33.720 And then I say, oh, I just turned forty nine, 0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:34.560 Like how old are you? 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:36.200 He absolutely wouldn't answer it. 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:40.160 Well, it's called Google, Like, I just I'm positive he 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:40.840 was sixty. 0:14:41.000 --> 0:14:44.320 So okay, but hold on, So how do you care 0:14:44.520 --> 0:14:46.200 if he's not his age? 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:46.400 You? 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:47.760 I mean, I don't, you know, I don't. 0:14:47.920 --> 0:14:49.000 I really don't. 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:54.440 I just feel I'm not saying that it couldn't work. 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:56.800 Do you think these guys are like nervous about their age? 0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:59.160 I mean, do you think the tables have turned are 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:02.200 like we like, are we now? The ones that are like, 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.320 oh my god, why are you lying at your age? 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:06.960 Because women were like the men are like, they're lying 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:08.960 about their age. It's like, and so are you? 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:12.200 Yeah. This it hasn't happened once. 0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:14.520 It's happened a couple times, and at least one guy 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:16.720 he totally owned up. 0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:17.760 What app? 0:15:17.880 --> 0:15:20.640 Was it one of the apps? I think if you 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:22.160 I don't know what it is? He said it was 0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:24.400 the AP's phalt. Okay, let's give him the benefit of 0:15:24.440 --> 0:15:28.000 the doubt. It was the apsphalt, but I think ten 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:33.120 years older than I am, I would prefer like I would. 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:34.960 Prefer fifty two, fifty three, fifty. 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:37.800 Four, fifty five, but I don't know sixty for me 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:41.480 at forty nine, I'm not saying never. 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:47.360 But you know, it's just interesting that it has all 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:49.720 been that age group. 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:53.120 And then I think a lot about Okay, well, as 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:56.040 the years go on, does that mean then my dating 0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:58.120 pool is going to be Like if I'm in my 0:15:58.200 --> 0:16:00.600 mid fifties, is it then going to be the sixties? 0:16:00.640 --> 0:16:03.000 And that's kind of overwhelming and scary to think about. 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:05.760 Okay, but let's so, now that we've talked about the 0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:08.680 guys that are around your age, what about the guys. 0:16:08.440 --> 0:16:09.200 That are younger? 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:11.080 Never tried it? 0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:13.920 You never know? 0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:17.720 Right on the apps, some of the. 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:21.960 Some of the younger so forty forty four, some of 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.880 them they haven't had kids yet and they want kids, 0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:27.440 and that for me is right sales. 0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:40.560 Yeah, Okay, what about then if that's the case, Well, 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:42.840 what about guys that just don't want kids? 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:45.200 What about if they're like younger than what about their 0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:48.400 late thirties. There's a lot of way when to stay younger. 0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:51.440 I don't if they haven't had kids. 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:54.640 You a lot of energy to your fun. You're like vivacious. 0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:57.360 I am, yes, so you need someone that. 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:00.320 Has good energy, positive but. 0:17:00.320 --> 0:17:04.280 I am looking for somebody that's family oriented. Of course, 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:07.560 the normal characteristics that we want in all the humans 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:16.960 that we surround ourselves with, kind, loving, consistent values, values. 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:19.280 Me and lets me be myself. 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:22.800 One of the people I dated and he was fantastic, 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:28.359 there just wasn't the physical connection for me. I love 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:35.600 how I was completely unfiltered. I just he let me 0:17:35.760 --> 0:17:39.960 be me and he made me feel like a million bucks. 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:44.480 But that sounds amazing. I love that. I know, like 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:47.480 a million bucks. I know you should feel like that. 0:17:47.880 --> 0:17:53.120 I know. But for the long term, it just there 0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:56.040 wasn't the chemistry even though he So that's a great question. 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:58.800 Even though he made me feel this way, there just 0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:02.040 wasn't the chemistry where I can show you a picture 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:05.399 from an event we went to. 0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:09.480 But anyway, yeah, so what about have you been only 0:18:09.520 --> 0:18:13.120 been dating divorce men or single dads or what's been like. 0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:18.360 Your So I actually have been out on two dates 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:26.040 with two separate widowska rest have been divorce single dads, 0:18:26.240 --> 0:18:29.360 and I do really connect with. 0:18:30.960 --> 0:18:35.199 The single dads because I love kids. 0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:38.359 I love well, particularly because it's the stage of life 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:42.600 I'm in. I love hearing all about the teens, all 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:45.880 about the young I call it the adulting stage, which 0:18:46.440 --> 0:18:50.000 is like the second four years, you know, post college. 0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:53.080 These kids who are living in New York, like living 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:53.879 their best life. 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:55.760 I'm I'm all about that. 0:18:56.119 --> 0:19:01.760 So I definitely connect with men on on that level. 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:04.320 What was it like to date a widower? What was 0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:04.760 that like? 0:19:05.560 --> 0:19:12.560 They were both lovely? The first widower was only my 0:19:12.680 --> 0:19:17.200 second date? Whoa he was only my second date. 0:19:17.520 --> 0:19:18.960 Did you know that from the start that he was 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:20.800 a widower or you found that out? 0:19:21.240 --> 0:19:27.240 Yes, it was a setup and it just felt like 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:28.720 yet he was. 0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:31.720 A type of guy I definitely, you know, should like 0:19:31.720 --> 0:19:34.880 like just a good a good family man, a good person. 0:19:36.040 --> 0:19:37.960 He actually lived. 0:19:39.080 --> 0:19:41.480 About twenty five minutes away, so I had I had, 0:19:41.680 --> 0:19:45.280 I had background, which is nice versus when you're when 0:19:45.280 --> 0:19:48.439 you're on on the apps, and so it was a 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:51.399 it was a great It was a great date. 0:19:51.680 --> 0:19:52.920 The end of the date, did I. 0:19:52.840 --> 0:19:55.080 Oh so on the way home when they put mints 0:19:55.160 --> 0:19:57.080 in their mouth? Because I was such a newbie on this, 0:19:58.400 --> 0:20:01.040 but I kind of thought it what. 0:20:01.200 --> 0:20:04.760 God, why is he in his mouth? And why is 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:08.800 he offering me a mint? Even though I enjoyed myself, 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:09.080 I have. 0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:12.639 No desire, you know, to kiss him, and so I 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:16.560 just give kind of the halfway hug, you know, goodbye, 0:20:17.000 --> 0:20:21.560 and and he asked if I would want to do 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:26.000 something again, and because I'm being open minded, you know, 0:20:26.400 --> 0:20:27.520 I say sure. 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:32.920 And then he. 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:34.720 Reaches back out just to like ask a question, and 0:20:34.760 --> 0:20:37.240 I answer the question. And then I went through the 0:20:37.280 --> 0:20:42.000 phase of wait, why isn't he texted in a couple 0:20:42.040 --> 0:20:44.680 of days? But what is going on? I wasn't that 0:20:44.800 --> 0:20:47.280 into him, So it was a little bit of a 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:48.880 wake up call, I have to say. 0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:55.520 And then he continued texting, Wait. 0:20:55.359 --> 0:20:58.280 So hold on, So he didn't text you for a 0:20:58.280 --> 0:20:59.960 couple of days, and then he started up again. 0:21:00.320 --> 0:21:08.239 Correct, correct, And he asked a question. And I'm a 0:21:08.320 --> 0:21:11.600 detailed person and I kind of didn't know the whole 0:21:11.760 --> 0:21:15.199 I'm not calling it a game, but there is. When 0:21:15.240 --> 0:21:19.320