WEBVTT - 1: I’ve Been Thinking About You 0:00:01.240 --> 0:00:04.000 I'm Dave Holmes, and there's a pop culture mystery that 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:05.720 I have not been able to get out of my 0:00:05.840 --> 0:00:10.319 head for decades. It's the summer of nineteen ninety one. 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:14.080 If you're a young person, which I was, you're glued 0:00:14.120 --> 0:00:18.439 to MTV or VH one or BET. These are cable 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:22.720 channels that play music videos. It's a little bit like YouTube, 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:27.360 except everyone was watching the same thing at the same time. Also, 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:29.360 if you were like, oh, I have an idea of 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:32.320 what I want to watch next, you couldn't. You kind 0:00:32.320 --> 0:00:35.800 of just watched what they played. But they all played 0:00:35.800 --> 0:00:38.880 a new music video that summer. It was the first 0:00:39.000 --> 0:00:42.440 music video for the vocal group Boys to Men. It 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:48.479 was called Motown Philly. There's a lot going on in 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:51.519 the music video for Motown Philly. Throughout it there's a 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:55.640 photographer and a short black skirt taking pictures of the 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:58.400 groups in what a big photo album tells us is 0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:01.920 the East Coast Family. The East Coast Family is a 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:05.640 collection of pop acts put together by Michael Bivins, a 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:08.600 guy who was already famous from himself being in the 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:12.200 pop acts New Edition and Bell biv Devoue. So we 0:01:12.240 --> 0:01:16.080 see Boys to Men obviously it's their video. We see 0:01:16.160 --> 0:01:20.400 another bad creation, a young group of actual children who 0:01:20.520 --> 0:01:23.960 had two top ten singles. We see Bell BIV devou 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:28.640 themselves boys to men. ABC BBD, just like the lyrics 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:32.080 of Motown Philly say, but it's what happens two minutes 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:34.880 and thirty eight seconds into the Motown Philly video that 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:40.440 I cannot shake. Five young guys in five white button 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:44.160 down shirts, each with his own necktie, stand in a 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:49.000 loose semi circle around Michael Biffins. Their name glows above 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:54.400 their heads. Sudden Impact, Sudden Impact are all looking at 0:01:54.400 --> 0:01:57.440 the camera, and after a second, just as we're getting 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:01.880 our bearings in unison, the point at the camera. They 0:02:01.920 --> 0:02:05.960 point at you as if to say, here we are. 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:14.480 We're Sudden Impact. Any questions. It's bold, it's aggressive, it's 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:17.520 the promise of something new. It's an introduction to a 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:21.040 young group who you know are gonna be huge. I 0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:24.079 myself could not wait to see what Sudden Impact was 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:29.240 gonna do next. What Sudden Impact did next was disappear. 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:33.600 And it's not an exaggeration to say I have wondered 0:02:33.680 --> 0:02:35.760 about Sudden Impact ever since. 0:02:37.000 --> 0:02:38.320 What happened? 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:42.280 Did they get in trouble with the Philadelphia Mob. Was 0:02:42.280 --> 0:02:45.160 it a plane crash? Did they all fight over the 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:49.880 same woman? Did they ever record anything at all? And 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:53.280 if so, where is it now? 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:54.239 A lot of time has. 0:02:54.120 --> 0:02:56.960 Passed and I am not a young man anymore, and 0:02:57.080 --> 0:02:59.760 everyone younger than me who is listening to this is 0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:02.880 how having the same thought right now, Dave google it. 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:07.760 This was nineteen ninety one. There was no Internet. If 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:11.160 you were a young pop culture obsessive with questions and theories, 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:14.960 you had nowhere to put them. There was no twenty 0:03:15.000 --> 0:03:19.359 four hour entertainment news cycle. E News wouldn't even premiere 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:23.359 until later that summer. What we had was one syndicated 0:03:23.480 --> 0:03:27.200 entertainment news show, Entertainment Tonight. And there was no way 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:29.359 they were going to do a story on the whereabouts 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:31.720 of a boy band who were in someone else's video 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:35.160 for two seconds and pointed at you. They had bigger 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:38.400 fish to fry. Julia Roberts called off her engagement to 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:41.400 keep her sevil in five days before their wedding that summer. 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:46.640 I mean priorities. All we know about Sudden Impact is 0:03:46.680 --> 0:03:51.320 what didn't happen. I want to know what did. So 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:55.000 I'm going to find out. I'm going to find them. 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:58.280 I'm going to track those guys down, one by one, 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:04.200 necktie by. I'm going to get the story of Sudden Impact, 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:07.520 and I'm going to try to solve the most elusive, 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:09.640 most bewildering. 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:09.720 Question of all. 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:16.919 Why can't I stop thinking about them? This is Waiting 0:04:16.960 --> 0:04:32.640 for Impact, a Dave Holmes passion project. The story of 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:36.120 Sudden Impacts doesn't just begin in nineteen ninety one. In 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:39.480 many ways, the story of Sudden Impact is about nineteen 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:42.800 ninety one. And I realize it's risky to tell a 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:45.800 story about nineteen ninety one in a podcast. Some of 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:48.359 you may not remember nineteen ninety one. Some of you 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:51.640 may not have even been born yet. If you need 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:54.360 a mental picture of nineteen ninety one, you really can 0:04:54.560 --> 0:04:58.000 just close your eyes and imagine any episode of Saved 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:01.640 by the Bell. Saved by the Bell was not a documentary, 0:05:02.160 --> 0:05:05.760 but it wasn't not one either. The pastel color palette, 0:05:06.240 --> 0:05:09.960 the baggy T shirts tucked into high waisted jeans, the 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:14.360 enormous cell phones, those are actually extremely true to American 0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:17.680 life and real life kids, just like the ones at 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:21.839 Bayside High listened to Top forty radio even if you 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:25.080 didn't like what Top forty radio was playing. You knew 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:27.760 what Top forty radio was playing because it was playing 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:33.240 everywhere your friend's car, the mall McDonald's. The early nineties 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:35.560 is the last time in history we were all watching 0:05:35.640 --> 0:05:39.960 and listening to the same things. If you're under thirty 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:43.120 in nineteen ninety one, you might not consider yourself a 0:05:43.120 --> 0:05:45.640 Paul Abdual fan, but you know the words to at 0:05:45.720 --> 0:05:48.960 least three of her songs, just through OUs Moses. You 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:51.760 might not love Guns N' Roses, but you can talk 0:05:51.800 --> 0:05:56.000 in detail about their video for November Rain. Whether you 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.200 sought out the information or not, you have been briefed 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:02.840 on the particulars of the Humpty Dance. Even the alternative 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:06.600 was the same, small handful of bands, the replacements, the Cure, 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:10.520 Jane's addiction. You either embraced the mainstream or you went 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:11.360 for the alternative. 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:12.440 I did both. 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:16.280 And in nineteen ninety one, there's tension on the pop charts, 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:20.160 a push and a pull. Wilson Phillips has had their 0:06:20.160 --> 0:06:23.880 first number one single, hold On, and their second release 0:06:24.040 --> 0:06:27.479 Me in May of that year. Kathy Dennis goes to 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:30.320 number two with Touch Me, and the The Vinyls go to 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:35.200 number four with I Touch Myself. Rod Stewart gets a 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:38.920 top five single. For God's sake, the music of your 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:41.720 local top forty radio station would play was all over 0:06:41.760 --> 0:06:45.560 the map, teen pop into hair metal, into adult contemporary. 0:06:46.080 --> 0:06:49.120 Say what you will about Queen's Reich and Amy Grant 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:51.159 being right next to each other on the pop charts, 0:06:51.279 --> 0:06:55.200 but that is not sustainable. Things are formless and chaotic 0:06:55.640 --> 0:06:58.119 in the way they always are just before something big 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:01.039 is about to happen, and it was reasonable to think 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:03.920 that such an impact could have been that next big thing. 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:08.560 The alternative was about to become the mainstream. We'll get 0:07:08.560 --> 0:07:11.560 into that in a later episode. Now, today someone can 0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:14.720 have one hundred million followers on TikTok and a big 0:07:14.760 --> 0:07:17.600 influencer business and I have never seen their face in 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:21.320 my life. My nieces can be obsessed with a musician 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:24.440 whose name I have never heard. But in nineteen ninety one, 0:07:24.480 --> 0:07:27.200 if you were famous, you were fame us. What was 0:07:27.240 --> 0:07:31.920 big was huge. The movies that summer were Terminator two 0:07:31.960 --> 0:07:37.480 and Robinhood Prince of Thieves Blockbusters. Twenty million people watched 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:41.400 Roseanne every week. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were the 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:45.760 hot newlyweds. In nineteen ninety one and Katie Holmes was twelve. 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:51.240 The mainstream was massive. Today we call it the monoculture, 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:54.280 but back then it was just the culture. The same 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:57.000 handful of artists and songs were blasted at you by 0:07:57.040 --> 0:08:00.280 Top forty radio, the same couple dozen stars on every 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:03.960 magazine cover, and at the center of it all was MTV. 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:07.520 You may know MTV now as a network that plays 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:11.000 skateboard wipe out videos and Pitch Perfect two, but in 0:08:11.040 --> 0:08:13.720 the eighties and nineties, it was a network that played 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:17.600 music videos all day long. That was it, and that 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:21.160 was enough. MTV was what you turned on to see 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:24.160 what was happening in the world. It was a clubhouse 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:26.640 that you couldn't really get into, but you turned it 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:30.280 on anyway just to feel like you were there. Fresh 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:33.320 faced young adults like Duff and Kevin Seal would be 0:08:33.360 --> 0:08:37.479 your tour guides, Bill Bellamy and John Cencio and Idallas 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:42.640 VJs icons, your friends who haven't met you yet, the 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:45.880 people you wanted to be, Okay, the people I wanted 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:49.480 to be. MTV was the one stop shop for youth 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:51.720 culture at a time when there was such a thing 0:08:52.000 --> 0:08:55.440 as youth culture, and it had cachet. When an artist 0:08:55.440 --> 0:08:58.640 got added to the rotation, that meant something, that was 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:02.800 a seal of approval. It's onto these chaotic pop charts 0:09:02.840 --> 0:09:06.400 and onto this influential MTV playlist at the end of 0:09:06.440 --> 0:09:09.560 April nineteen ninety one that Boys to Men and therefore 0:09:09.600 --> 0:09:12.520 sud An Impact arrive and I'm ready. 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:15.720 Here's a little background on Boys to Men. 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:18.439 They're a vocal quartet kind of a nineties update of 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:21.080 a doo wop group. They all met at the Philadelphia 0:09:21.200 --> 0:09:24.160 High School for Creative and Performing Arts and started performing 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:27.960 together as unique attraction until one night at a school event, 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:31.000 they sang a song by Michael bivens old group, the 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:34.200 popular boy band New Edition, a song called Boys to Men, 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:37.439 and they decided that was the right name, and on. 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:39.160 A Philadelphia tour stop for Bell. 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:42.120 Biv Devo Michael bivens new group, the guys of Boys 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:45.480 to Men score one backstage pass and it back and 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:47.600 forth so all four of them can get back there. 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:50.920 They find Bivens and they sing him an a cappella 0:09:51.040 --> 0:09:54.800 version of New Editions Can You Stand the Rain. Michael 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:58.120 Bivens gives them his number and they call and call 0:09:58.160 --> 0:10:02.240 and call and call. They beg him to manage them. 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:05.400 Michael Bivens has clout He's had a lifetime in the 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:06.200 music industry. 0:10:06.480 --> 0:10:06.960 He's been in. 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:09.680 Two groups to win multi platinum, and now he wants 0:10:09.720 --> 0:10:12.360 to move into the record mogul stage of his career 0:10:12.720 --> 0:10:16.680 become a starmaker like Motown's Barry Gordie had been. Michael 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:21.440 Bivens is twenty two years old. Motown has given him 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:24.280 a three artist development deal. Boys to Men wear him 0:10:24.320 --> 0:10:27.079 down and become his first signing, and the lyrics of 0:10:27.120 --> 0:10:29.920 their debut single Motown Philly pretty much tell the story 0:10:29.920 --> 0:10:32.880 about how they made it big, which is weird because 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:36.080 again it's their debut single. They haven't made it big yet. 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:39.640 They're like, hello, let us introduce ourselves. We are Boys 0:10:39.679 --> 0:10:42.880 to Men and we're very big stars. Boys to Men 0:10:42.960 --> 0:10:45.120 sing the names of the group's Bivens has taken under 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:49.200 his wing themselves, the second group Bivens signed, another bad creation, 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:52.240 Those Children I was telling you about, and the group 0:10:52.240 --> 0:11:03.160 whose success made it all possible, Bell biv Devouls Family. 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:06.280 Michael Bivens is so confident his acts are going to 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:09.360 succeed that he's basically taken the debut single from the 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:11.800 group that would become his most successful by a mile, 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:14.719 and turned it into a promo for his own development 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:19.960 deal that is bold. The Motown Philly video is eye catching, 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.680 and only partially because Boys to Men are in pastels. 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:30.320 Pull it up, watch it now, I'll wait. It's good, 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:34.040 right as you saw. It's staged as a reunion for 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:37.240 the East Coast family. And here again it's strange that 0:11:37.280 --> 0:11:40.000 it's a reunion because we're meeting most of these people 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:42.440 for the first time. But we didn't overthink it. A 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:45.240 photographer takes pictures of the artists and the lyrics with 0:11:45.280 --> 0:11:47.040 one of those old timey cameras where you have to 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.839 put a cape over yourself and hold up a giant flashbulb, 0:11:50.200 --> 0:11:53.600 which feels very steampunk for nineteen ninety one. But there's 0:11:53.640 --> 0:11:57.640 Boys to Men, there's ABC, there's BBD, and then near 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:01.640 the end Sudden Impact, who are not mentioned in the 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:05.240 lyrics and whose appearance is not explained in any way. 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:08.840 It's just Hi, We're sudd An Impact. How are you? 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:12.600 I mean I sat up and took notice. Nobody else 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:15.839 around me really did. And what didn't exist in nineteen 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:18.920 ninety one, what not even screech not even the nerds 0:12:19.120 --> 0:12:22.680 could invent for you was the Internet. In my college 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:24.520 at the time. If you wanted to use a computer, 0:12:24.600 --> 0:12:26.960 you went to the computer lab, where there were like 0:12:27.080 --> 0:12:29.680 eight of them. If you knew how, you could send 0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:32.120 short text messages to one of the other computers in 0:12:32.160 --> 0:12:35.240 that room, messages like I'm three feet away from you 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:38.439 or why are we doing this? And even that didn't 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:41.840 happen until nineteen ninety three. There was nowhere to go 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:45.280 if you had questions about Sudden Impact, questions like Who's 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:49.200 Sudden Impact? Or is anyone else seeing this? If you 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:51.720 were obsessed from the second you saw them, as I was, 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:54.760 you did two things. One you kept it to yourself 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:58.120 and two you waited for Sudden Impact to show up 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:02.520 on MTV. Sudden Impact never did show up on MTV 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:07.800 a few years later, though I did, and like Sudden Impact, 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:09.840 my debut was in a thing. A lot of people 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:13.160 saw a thing that didn't go the way that I 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:17.080 was planning, for those who don't know me or who 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:19.319 had better things to do at that time in history. 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:22.440 In nineteen ninety eight, MTV had an open call for 0:13:22.559 --> 0:13:25.720 VJs that on air. Master of Ceremonies Job Duff and 0:13:25.800 --> 0:13:29.760 Kevin Seeal had the VJ position. Was my dream gig, 0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:33.120 a huge, high profile TV job. I hate that I'm 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:36.640 saying this, but kind of a high profile early version 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:40.800 of an influencer. And in nineteen ninety eight, MTV just 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:43.360 opened the application process up to the public, so if 0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:46.760 you didn't have experience or an agent or good common sense, 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:49.120 you could just stand in line and take your swing. 0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:52.600 I stood in line and took my swing, and I 0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:55.200 made it to the top ten, and then the top 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:58.240 five viewers got to vote on who they wanted to 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:02.160 get the gig buy telephone because again no real internet 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:05.760 ever MCV one of the ejay contests, and. 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:08.360 They voted in droves four. 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:14.000 Not me. Now, this is a moment that people remind 0:14:14.040 --> 0:14:18.160 me about a lot, like a lot lot. Not every day, 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:21.320 not anymore, but easily once a week, particularly if they're 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:23.080 trying to insult me on Twitter and they don't have 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:25.520 much of an imagination. And I have to be honest here, 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:29.440 I don't love talking about it. Does anyone love talking 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:33.120 about a time they lost in public? I mean, get this, 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:35.560 I skipped a college friend's wedding to be there for 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:38.360 the finals, and I remember the groom, wishing me luck 0:14:38.360 --> 0:14:40.360 and telling me they'd turn on the last few minutes 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:42.680 in the bar of the wedding venue and watch, And 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:45.280 I think they did. A whole bunch of my friends 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:47.920 stood and watched me lose informal wear. 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:51.640 Yikes. I've never talked about that with any of them. 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:54.080 By the way, I kind of lost touch with most 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:56.000 of them, so I wouldn't have to talk about that. 0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:59.240 But in that moment, I remember thinking two things. 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:02.720 If I got this close, I needed to put my 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:05.600 back into getting some kind of job at MTV, otherwise 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:07.800 I would regret it for the rest of my life. 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:11.040 And two, this moment is going to be the first 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:14.160 line in my obituary, So I put my back into it. 0:15:14.320 --> 0:15:16.080 I stayed in touch with the people I met there. 0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:18.320 I set up some meetings and made some pitches and 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:21.400 generally behaved like someone much more confident than I am. 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:24.520 And one thing led to another, and they finally gave 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:25.120 me a job. 0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:27.080 And we're gonna check in with Dave. 0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:28.000 Who's outside? 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:30.560 How you doing there, ladies? 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:34.120 Hello, Hope you're all nice and cozy in there. It's 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:36.480 so hot out here, can't even tell you. 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:39.000 But we got a ton of adorning fans, one of 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:39.640 whom is right here. 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:43.000 Yes, that is Britney Spears. She was co hosting TRL 0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:46.440 that day with Melissa Jonhard. And if you have a podcast, 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:48.720 you have to mention Britney Spears in it. That's a 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:52.040 new law. Anyway, I did not get a job. I 0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:56.200 got the job my dream life, a position at the 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:59.800 epicenter of the pop culture universe, a golden ticket to 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:02.480 the Banka Factory. I was there for four and a 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:05.920 half years. It was everything I hoped it would be. Honestly, 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:09.320 it was more. It's led me to where I am now. 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:11.680 I still get to do what I love, and I 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:15.400 truly believe that if I keep working hard, keep challenging myself, 0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:18.720 keep hustling, someday that want to be a VJ moment 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:22.480 will be the second line in my obituary. I worked 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:24.280 in TV for a few more years, and then I 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:27.680 started writing more, and eventually that became my focus. And 0:16:27.720 --> 0:16:30.240 now I'm an editor at large for Esquire, the magazine 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:34.200 I grew up reading. I love my life. I'm not rich, 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:37.720 I'm not famous, but I've gotten what I wanted. And 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:39.800 then I wake up and I turn on the television 0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:42.800 and there's my old colleague Carson Daily hosting one of 0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:47.440 his two big network TV shows. Ryan Seacrest has two speeds. 0:16:47.480 --> 0:16:50.560 He's either on live television or he's asleep. And if 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:52.760 by the time this show drops, he's sold his Apple 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:56.360 Watch sleep tracker data to Netflix as a competition reality show, 0:16:56.760 --> 0:16:59.800 none of us will be surprised. I'm doing what I love. 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:02.840 The nineteen ninety one version of me would lose his 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:05.320 mind if he saw how I got to spend my days. 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:08.440 That big swing that I took back then showing up 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:11.560 and standing in line to audition at MTV bought me 0:17:11.640 --> 0:17:14.840 a career I'm proud of. But in terms of money 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:18.919 or fame, I'm definitely the sudden impact in someone else's story. 0:17:20.160 --> 0:17:24.199 I don't love talking about losing on national television, but 0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:26.960 it did lead to something good, and I've always wondered 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:29.800 whether the same is true for sudden impact. I don't 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:31.919 know whether they want to talk about getting a huge 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:34.680 boost at the beginning of their career and then vanishing. 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:38.440 They didn't become stars, They didn't even release a single 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:40.720 as far as I know, But does that mean they 0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:45.360 didn't make it? Sudden impact never happened, but something did, 0:17:46.240 --> 0:17:48.119 and just because we don't know what it is, just 0:17:48.119 --> 0:17:50.720 because it didn't unfold in a way that we could see, 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:52.760 doesn't mean it wasn't good. 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:55.480 Maybe it was actually better. 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:09.920 However, you get it, and at whatever level you get it, 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:13.120 fame does a weird thing to you. I eventually got 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:15.760 that MTV job in nineteen ninety eight, right when it 0:18:15.880 --> 0:18:19.520 really solidified its place as the epicenter of the monoculture 0:18:19.800 --> 0:18:23.159 for maybe the last time. In nineteen ninety eight, MTV 0:18:23.320 --> 0:18:27.040 had that huge studio overlooking Times Square with those massive 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:28.480 floorid to ceiling windows. 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:30.160 We called it the Fishbowl. 0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:33.080 Kids would stand in the middle of Broadway and just 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:36.880 scream up at those windows. It didn't matter who was there, 0:18:36.960 --> 0:18:39.560 whether it was Backstreet Boys or the Q card guy. 0:18:39.880 --> 0:18:42.760 If you were there, you were somewhere exciting, and the 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:45.960 kids had no choice but to scream at you. I 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:48.400 used to love going up to that window and waving 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:51.480 and hearing the screams. I knew those screams were not 0:18:51.600 --> 0:18:54.160 for me, not really, but it was a nice reminder 0:18:54.200 --> 0:18:56.080 that I used to be out there and now I'm 0:18:56.160 --> 0:19:00.119 up here. It was a moment to be grateful. The 0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:02.520 day MTV called me up and gave me a job. 0:19:02.800 --> 0:19:04.520 Might have been the happiest day of my life up 0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:07.600 until that point. Who am I kidding? It was by far. 0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:11.480 I remember telling my parents this in these words. I 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:13.880 don't care about getting rich. I don't care how famous 0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:16.120 this job makes me. All I know is now I'll 0:19:16.119 --> 0:19:18.719 get to talk about the things I'm obsessed with and 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:21.160 make things I know how to make. And I want 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:23.239 this job to allow me to keep doing that for 0:19:23.280 --> 0:19:26.199 the rest of my life. I want this to be 0:19:26.240 --> 0:19:29.439 the start of a career I'm in love with. I 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:32.120 thought about the future. I thought about the fact that 0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:34.320 once it was all over, maybe i'd have a high 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:37.200 enough profile to write a book or two. I thought 0:19:37.240 --> 0:19:40.800 I might transition into production and express myself that way. 0:19:41.400 --> 0:19:43.199 I thought about the new ways I would get to 0:19:43.320 --> 0:19:45.359 use my talents now that I was in a place 0:19:45.640 --> 0:19:49.320 where remembering things like sudden impact was considered a talent. 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:52.359 I thought about all the new stuff i'd get to 0:19:52.440 --> 0:19:55.760 learn how to do. And I did, and I loved 0:19:55.760 --> 0:20:00.359 it there, and loving it was enough at first. But 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:03.480 something happens when you're in the epicenter of the monoculture 0:20:03.720 --> 0:20:06.520 at a very hot time, when you're surrounded by the 0:20:06.640 --> 0:20:08.679 rich and the famous. Whether you notice it or not, 0:20:09.240 --> 0:20:12.280 you start wanting to be rich and famous. You don't 0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:14.600 even notice it. It's not a decision. It's not a 0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:17.280 switch that you flip. You just see how some people 0:20:17.359 --> 0:20:21.480 are living and you think, sure, I'm happy, but that's success. 0:20:22.000 --> 0:20:24.480 You see your peers in magazines and on talk shows, 0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:26.639 and you start wanting to get in magazines and on 0:20:26.720 --> 0:20:29.440 talk shows. You start to think, if people can't see 0:20:29.480 --> 0:20:33.600 me all over the place, am I really successful? When 0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:36.399 you get what you want, you just start wanting more. 0:20:37.320 --> 0:20:39.240 You go up to that window over Broadway and you 0:20:39.320 --> 0:20:41.760 wave at the kids standing out there, and they scream 0:20:41.840 --> 0:20:44.440 at you because you're inside, and your first thought isn't 0:20:44.440 --> 0:20:46.760 how lucky you are to be up there. Your first 0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:50.920 thought is did they scream louder yesterday? You forget that 0:20:50.960 --> 0:20:52.879 all you wanted in the beginning was just to be 0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:55.840 a part of it. You forget that it all started 0:20:56.240 --> 0:21:02.480 because you were a fan. Being a fan can be 0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:06.800 an isolating experience, especially before there's an Internet where you 0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:10.040 can find other fans. I was in college in nineteen 0:21:10.080 --> 0:21:13.639 ninety one at a place where very practical people were learning, 0:21:13.760 --> 0:21:16.639 very practical things that would make them very effective in 0:21:16.680 --> 0:21:20.560 their very practical careers. I was obsessing over things like 0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:22.280 sudden Impact and feeling. 0:21:22.080 --> 0:21:23.560 Like a real weirdo about it. 0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:27.320 What's great about making a life out of your obsessions 0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:34.199 is that eventually you meet other weirdos. What percentage of 0:21:34.280 --> 0:21:37.560 the population do you think consists of people like us? 0:21:38.240 --> 0:21:41.160 Very very very few? And if it wasn't for the Internet, 0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:45.320 it would seem like nobody and I do worry that 0:21:45.359 --> 0:21:48.320 we're a dying breed. It feels like a very Generation 0:21:48.800 --> 0:21:49.200 X thing. 0:21:49.920 --> 0:21:52.960 This is my friend Scott Kimple. Scott and I met 0:21:53.000 --> 0:21:55.320 just after I moved to LA We were doing shows 0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:57.600 at an improv comedy theater that, like a lot of 0:21:57.640 --> 0:22:01.600 improv comedy theaters, doesn't exist anymore. Scott is one of 0:22:01.640 --> 0:22:04.800 the funniest people I know, which is very strange because 0:22:04.800 --> 0:22:07.840 he's also the chief content officer for the Walking Dead 0:22:07.960 --> 0:22:10.679 universe of TV shows and movies and video games. 0:22:11.200 --> 0:22:12.000 He's a big deal. 0:22:12.640 --> 0:22:15.160 He's also the only other person I know who paid 0:22:15.160 --> 0:22:17.040