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Speaker 1: Hi. I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,

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Speaker 1: and speaker.

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Speaker 2: And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician,

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Speaker 2: writer and course creator. We are two working parents who

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Speaker 2: love our careers and our families.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about

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Speaker 1: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun.

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Speaker 1: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals.

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Speaker 1: We want you to get the most out of life.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. This

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Speaker 1: episode is airing in mid April of twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 1: We are just around tax Day in the United States,

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Speaker 1: so appropriately we are having a financial themed episode. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be interviewing Bobby Rebel, who is the author

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Speaker 1: of lawng Financial Grown Ups. She also has a company

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Speaker 1: that is organized around the same concept of how you

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Speaker 1: can help young adults begin their financial lives preparing for

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Speaker 1: the grown up world of money and all the things

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Speaker 1: they will need to know for that. So, especially for

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Speaker 1: our listeners who have tweens and teens, some topics that

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Speaker 1: definitely might be worth thinking about as you ponder how

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Speaker 1: to help your kids build their own independent lives. So,

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Speaker 1: speaking of being a financial grown up, Sarah, at what

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Speaker 1: point were you actually a financial grown up? If we

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Speaker 1: are at this point, I guess we are. We both

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Speaker 1: have mortgages. That's like, yeah, right there, yes, you are

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Speaker 1: growing up a mortgage.

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Speaker 2: But I definitely feel like I was a much later

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Speaker 2: bloomer to financial adulthood than you.

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Speaker 1: As you're going to share.

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Speaker 2: Your story in college, I would classify myself as fairly

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Speaker 2: irresponsible before that, also fairly irresponsible if I had any

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Speaker 2: money lying around, and I always enjoyed earning some money,

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Speaker 2: but I also enjoyed spending some money, so so it

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Speaker 2: didn't stick around for very long. And then I did

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Speaker 2: take a trip to Europe in which I put everything

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Speaker 2: on my credit card and had to be bailed out

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Speaker 2: by my parents. Okay, like full disclosure, it was a

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Speaker 2: very inexpensive trip, like we were staying in hostels. I

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Speaker 2: don't think the grand total was anything all that crazy,

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Speaker 2: but my parents did kindly bail me out but told

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Speaker 2: me they would never ever ever do that again, so

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Speaker 2: that I better grow up from here on out. And

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Speaker 2: you know what I did, I did, I really did,

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Speaker 2: because then I was an MDPHD and I lived on

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Speaker 2: a like eighteen thousand dollars a year salary, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, Okay, this is all I have and I

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Speaker 2: can't go in the negative because I have to pay

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Speaker 2: my rent every month. And I actually ended up moving

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Speaker 2: in with Josh after we started dating, but I paid

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Speaker 2: portion of the mortgage for the house that he had, so, like,

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Speaker 2: I think I became a grown up at that point.

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Speaker 2: I was not good about saving, but at least I

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Speaker 2: understood how, I mean, how much can you say when

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Speaker 2: you're earning eighteen thousand dollars a year? Maybe Laura could,

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Speaker 2: but I couldn't. But at least that was good about

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Speaker 2: not allowing myself to go into the red and understanding

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Speaker 2: what a budget was. And then I feel like my

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Speaker 2: first couple of years of earning a real salary, I

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Speaker 2: was just sort of like, I don't know, figuring things out.

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Speaker 2: It seemed to me from the outset like the money

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Speaker 2: was going to be infinite, and became very quickly clear

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Speaker 2: that it wasn't. And so in twenty fifteen we discovered

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Speaker 2: you need a budget and became really systematic about saving.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like that is actually when I became

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Speaker 2: a financial grown up Wow, thirty five, twenty fifteen, not

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Speaker 2: that long ago.

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Speaker 1: So wait, I got a pun. So Josh owned a

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Speaker 1: house in med school.

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Speaker 2: It was a very inexpensive house. He had worked prior

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Speaker 2: to that, so he was.

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Speaker 1: Right because he started it older. That's right, Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I think there was some help there as well.

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Speaker 2: That house was bought for something like one hundred and

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Speaker 2: thirty thousand dollars and then sold for like one hundred

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Speaker 2: and thirty thousand dollars, So it was not like it

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Speaker 2: was not a fancy house.

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Speaker 1: Was he renting out other rooms of it? Was it

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Speaker 1: like that kind of thing? Or no?

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Speaker 2: No, no, I mean how much can you spit up

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Speaker 2: a house that's that size? And the neighborhood quickly didn't

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Speaker 2: do so well, hence us selling it. Actually, we may

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Speaker 2: have sold it for under what we bought it for,

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Speaker 2: which is kind of what we do in our in

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Speaker 2: our family.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, real estate history. Fortunately, there are booms and bus

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Speaker 1: in the younger household seems to uh there moves. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 1: you can't always time these things to being convenient for

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Speaker 1: the real estate market. I've started thinking back, like I

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Speaker 1: went away for high school for my last two years,

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Speaker 1: and so I had to have some way of paying

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Speaker 1: for things. I actually had my own check book. I

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Speaker 1: remember checkbooks for like it was, which I remember then

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Speaker 1: because I wanted to get my college decision letters at

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Speaker 1: my mailing address at school, and so I had written

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Speaker 1: the checks for the application fees. I think my parents

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Speaker 1: would put money in the account for that, but it's

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Speaker 1: kind of funny to think. I wonder how many kids

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Speaker 1: are signing their own checks to pay for their application

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Speaker 1: fees for college. It's probably not that many. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: my first you know, I worked in the summers in college.

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Speaker 1: I got my first apartment for a summer we could

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Speaker 1: do a temporary rental thing. I shared with a couple

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Speaker 1: of people in Washington, d c. My so, I, you know,

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Speaker 1: had apartment in nineteen I learned to cook. That was

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Speaker 1: kind of fun. And then my first job after college,

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Speaker 1: I had this year long internship at USA Today where

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Speaker 1: my stipend for the year was something like eighteen thousand,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I really my take home pay was

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Speaker 1: like twelve hundred dollars a month, and I remember my

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Speaker 1: rent was five hundred and eighty dollars, so you know,

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Speaker 1: you had six hundred twenty bucks to play around with

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Speaker 1: each month, and it was mostly fine. I didn't have

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Speaker 1: a car, I was taking public transit and shopped sales

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Speaker 1: at the grocery store and cooked most of my own

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Speaker 1: meals and also created margin by freelancing, you know, I

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Speaker 1: sort of the more I think about it, if I

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Speaker 1: had really truly tried to live on just that, it

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Speaker 1: would have been a lot tighter. But then I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: I can write for places people are willing to pay me.

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Speaker 1: And the good news about having a take home pay

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Speaker 1: of twelve hundred dollars a month is that even if

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Speaker 1: you're getting like three hundred dollars for something, it feels

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Speaker 1: like a pretty big raise. So that was, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was able to save most of that, which helped,

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Speaker 1: you know, finance the move to New York City after that.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean I remember reading like the newspaper

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Speaker 1: when I was twelve or thirteen years old, waiting for

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Speaker 1: the bus and looking at the stocks and being interested

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Speaker 1: in the stock market at the time. And now it

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Speaker 1: would have been great if I'd actually invested then, But

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Speaker 1: of course that's not something my parents knew much about

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Speaker 1: at all. And the upside is that we are now

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Speaker 1: having our kids do that. They get a brokerage account

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Speaker 1: when they are ten, we do a match of money

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Speaker 1: that they have saved up. It's a fairly sizable match

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Speaker 1: multiple of what they have saved up so that we

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Speaker 1: can meet the brokerage minimum. Then they choose what they're

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Speaker 1: going to invest in. And I'm not sure if everyone's

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Speaker 1: learning the right lessons from this. Like one child didn't

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Speaker 1: want to invest in anything because there was a possibility

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Speaker 1: of losing money, which I don't think is the right

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Speaker 1: lesson to learn. Another child was kind of getting into

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Speaker 1: the day trade idea and be like, look, I made

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Speaker 1: fifty bucks today without doing anything. I'm like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: that's maybe not the right lesson either. But you know,

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Speaker 1: you're young, you don't have to buy index funds. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. It's probably good they're learning it now whatever

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Speaker 1: they can be financial grown ups. Even earlier, it turns

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Speaker 1: out that Disney was not a great stock to own,

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Speaker 1: even if you love Disney, they was, for a long

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Speaker 1: period of time, really crappy stuff tooon.

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Speaker 2: I kind of feel like, if you let that experiment

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Speaker 2: go on long enough, if there was one of the

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Speaker 2: five kids that chose index funds, they're probably going to

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Speaker 2: win and then they will all learn a good lesson.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and the one child is, you know, still in

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Speaker 1: the whatever the brokerage random interest rate is because they

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Speaker 1: refused to people's personalities come out very young. All right, Well,

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Speaker 1: let's hear what Bobby has to say about Launching Financial

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Speaker 1: Grown Ups. So Sarah and I are delighted to welcome

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Speaker 1: Bobby Rebel to the program. She is a journalist turned

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Speaker 1: author turned financial wellness consultant. Is the author of the

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Speaker 1: book Launching Finance Grown Ups, which I know is relevant

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Speaker 1: to a lot of people with kids in the teen

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Speaker 1: emerging adult years. So welcome Bobby. Thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for having me.

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Speaker 3: I am a listener and a big fan of the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Well, why don't you introduce a

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Speaker 1: little bit more about yourself to our listeners.

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Speaker 3: Well, first of all, again, thank you for having me,

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Speaker 3: and thank you for that introduction. I am a mom

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Speaker 3: of three in a blended family. I have now a

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Speaker 3: twenty seven year old, a twenty four year old, and

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Speaker 3: a sixteen year old. The twenty seven year old is

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Speaker 3: I sort of already launched, and the twenty four year

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Speaker 3: old is in the middle of launching. I would say

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Speaker 3: he's out of college, had his first job, and now

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Speaker 3: figuring out a pivot, and then the teenager is on

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Speaker 3: the crux of getting ready to start thinking about college.

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Speaker 3: He took his first practice Act recently. So I'm sort

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Speaker 3: of mixed feelings because in a way, I'm sort of

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Speaker 3: happy to be in the home stretch of it, but

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Speaker 3: also it's hitting me hard as a parent that, wow,

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Speaker 3: this phase of my life is really about to start changing,

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Speaker 3: and so I'm sort of bracing for that. And career wise,

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Speaker 3: I'm going through some changes as well, expanding my business

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Speaker 3: beyond being an author into more financial wellness consulting.

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Speaker 1: I have a company called Financial Wellness Strategies.

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Speaker 3: We do workshops for companies, for schools, for parent groups,

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Speaker 3: and I'm now expanding into doing some limited private consulting.

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Speaker 1: Awesome, Well, let's talk a little bit about your journey

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Speaker 1: of launching at least two financial grownups at this point

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Speaker 1: a third, we hope in a couple of years. Was

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Speaker 1: it a smooth flying path. Was it bumpy? Maybe you

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Speaker 1: could talk a little bit about that. It was so bumpy, Laura.

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Speaker 3: It was really tragic because, as we mentioned, I had

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Speaker 3: been a journalist for many years and I was in

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Speaker 3: the business beat, so I interviewed CEOs and talked about money.

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Speaker 3: I even at one point had a globally syndicated column

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Speaker 3: on personal finance topics.

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Speaker 1: And yet my almost adult children.

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Speaker 3: And I'm referencing the older ones at this point were

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Speaker 3: one was just starting college, when was in high school,

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Speaker 3: and they were not really receptive to my mini lessons

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Speaker 3: about money, and I found it very frustrating. And one

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Speaker 3: thing that I write about in the book Launching Financial

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Speaker 3: Grown Ups is my efforts, for example, to get them

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Speaker 3: to open up wrath iras.

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Speaker 1: So I had kids that were good kids.

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Speaker 3: They both were earning money because they liked to earn money,

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Speaker 3: and which is great. Ashley was always learning to be

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Speaker 3: higher and higher level as a lifeguard. She was very

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Speaker 3: good at teaching, and so she was keenly aware that

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Speaker 3: if she got different certifications she could make more money.

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Speaker 3: And number two, Bradley was very enterprising teaching kids fencing.

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Speaker 3: He eventually went to school basically recruited for fencing.

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Speaker 1: You're very good at that.

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Speaker 3: So these were good, ambitious kids doing their thing, and

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Speaker 3: yet I couldn't get them to open up a wroth Ira.

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Speaker 3: Why I was like, you guys have all this money,

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Speaker 3: they weren't big spenders, and they would always yes me,

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Speaker 3: and I kind of had to figure out, Okay, what

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Speaker 3: is going on? And so that inspired the book because

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Speaker 3: you had an educated parent, you had kids that were

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Speaker 3: sort of on a good bath path.

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Speaker 1: These weren't problem kids.

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Speaker 3: And so I figured, well, I know, one thing I've

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Speaker 3: accessed to as a journalist is experts, Right, I could

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Speaker 3: tune in and ask people. I had financial therapy friends,

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Speaker 3: I had parenting expert friends, and I of course had

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Speaker 3: money expert friends. And so the book really taps into that.

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Speaker 3: I figured I had a problem. Maybe other people did too,

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Speaker 3: And I think that was proven pretty true because the

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Speaker 3: book has really resonated with a lot of parents, and

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Speaker 3: I should say grandparents.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I mean, what was it. Let's talk about

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Speaker 1: the roth Ira, because I mean, was it just that

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Speaker 1: it's annoying to call customer service somewhere, It's annoying to

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Speaker 1: find documents. I mean, what would you say it was?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So for the older one, she was just yesing me,

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Speaker 3: and like I would always first of all, approach them

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Speaker 3: at absolutely the wrong time.

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Speaker 1: I learned, you know, they're walking out the door.

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Speaker 3: It's it's been anything you want a kid to do,

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Speaker 3: especially a teenager, if you're interrupting something that they are

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Speaker 3: just they're going to say what they want to say.

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Speaker 3: So they would say I'm on it. They wouldn't say

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Speaker 3: I'm doing it. They would say I heard you, I know,

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Speaker 3: I understand, but they wouldn't say I'm doing it. And

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Speaker 3: I would give them, as you said, I would give

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Speaker 3: them the name of somebody at the brokerage firm that

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Speaker 3: I used to said. You can talk to a human,

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Speaker 3: you can go online, you can open up with a

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Speaker 3: different company. I don't care what you do. What do

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Speaker 3: you need to get this done? And the oldest one

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Speaker 3: looked at me and she said, but you didn't ask

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Speaker 3: me about my goals and what I want to do

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Speaker 3: with the money. Well, what she wanted to do with

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Speaker 3: the money, Laura, was she wanted to save it to

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Speaker 3: buy an apartment a down payment, and if she put

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Speaker 3: it in an investment account, then she'd be risking it,

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Speaker 3: and since you know, you're supposed to have a.

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Speaker 1: Five year time horizon, that was not the right thing

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Speaker 1: for her to do. Right. Yeah, So she didn't want to.

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Speaker 3: Have a conflict with me, But in fact, I was

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Speaker 3: giving her the wrong advice because I hadn't asked her

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Speaker 3: her goal.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, now that's interesting.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so I wasn't listening to her. Actually I

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Speaker 3: wasn't listening because I wasn't even asking her, yeah, whether

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Speaker 3: it made sense for her.

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Speaker 1: And then number two was more of a classic thing.

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Speaker 3: He was just a teen who just wasn't getting around

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Speaker 3: to it, and I needed to actually sit with him.

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Speaker 3: And what I've done with him that's worked so well

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Speaker 3: and I'm so proud of him, is generally when there's

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Speaker 3: something to do, I kind of sit side by side.

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Speaker 3: And this is something Julie Lythcott Haynes who wrote How

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Speaker 3: to Raise an Adult Advocate, So I got this from her.

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Speaker 1: I just want to give her credit.

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Speaker 3: You sit with them at the computer, and the first

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Speaker 3: time you sort of show them what to do, the

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Speaker 3: second time you watch them do it. You know what

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Speaker 3: I mean. It's a gradual progression. And I really had

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Speaker 3: to sit down with him and set it up. And

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Speaker 3: I'll tell you right now, he has a very nice

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Speaker 3: amount of money in that roth Ira and to the

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Speaker 3: point where he was able to fully fund it and

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Speaker 3: then also open a non retirement Brokeridge account and so

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Speaker 3: because he didn't have the goal to buy an apartment.

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Speaker 3: He has done very well over the years with his investing,

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Speaker 3: and we have conversations about investing.

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Speaker 1: He was very critical.

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Speaker 3: And I don't know when this is going to come out,

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Speaker 3: but right now, in Video is in the news, and

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Speaker 3: he wanted to know why I hadn't bought in Video

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Speaker 3: and we had a whole conversation, and he told me

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Speaker 3: about his friends that were day trading on how much

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Speaker 3: his friends made one in Vidia. Point is we're having

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Speaker 3: the conversations. It doesn't actually matter what I did or

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Speaker 3: didn't do an investing. The point is he's asking questions,

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Speaker 3: we're having conversations, and he's learning to make his own decisions.

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Speaker 3: He did go and buy Nvidio. I personally thought it

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Speaker 3: was overvalued. Today as of this recording, he's up.

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Speaker 1: YEP could be down in another week or two. Whoever knows.

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Speaker 3: Yes, it's but the moody is real, real, and he's

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Speaker 3: investing it. And I don't want to say it doesn't

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Speaker 3: matter what he does. I mean, if he comes to

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Speaker 3: me and says an investment that I don't think is good,

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Speaker 3: I'll tell him why I don't think it's good. But

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Speaker 3: I also tell him I could be wrong. I also

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Speaker 3: don't own any bitcoin, and right now I don't look

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Speaker 3: so smart, but I don't know. But you have to

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Speaker 3: let your kids make those mistakes. Investing the important thing,

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Speaker 3: and they have so much time, Laura, Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 3: I don't want to see.

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Speaker 1: Summer many many years for things to recover.

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Speaker 3: Even he says his friends are day trading, you can

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Speaker 3: say to a kid, well, I don't think that's the

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Speaker 3: way to go, but if you think that's something interesting,

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Speaker 3: why don't you take ten percent of your savings and

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Speaker 3: you can day trade with that if that's what they want.

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Speaker 3: Because what you really don't want to do, especially with teenagers,

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Speaker 3: is create an environment where they feel you will judge

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Speaker 3: them and therefore they will hide a mistake. So an

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Speaker 3: example of that would be maybe they ran up credit

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Speaker 3: card debt and they don't tell you because they know

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Speaker 3: you would be disappointed. They know they should know better.

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Speaker 3: You don't want them to run up the credit card debt,

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Speaker 3: But the only thing worse than that is to hide

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Speaker 3: it from you and not be able to have that conversation.

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Speaker 1: So what does it mean to be a financial grown up?

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Speaker 1: I mean, I've spondered this, I wonder if I am

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Speaker 1: a financial grown up at this point, many years along

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Speaker 1: from the teenage years, But what would you define as

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Speaker 1: being a financial grown up? I think it's.

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Speaker 3: Important that everyone have their own definition to some degree,

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Speaker 3: but essentially it's taking responsibility and ownership of your financial life.

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Speaker 1: What that means.

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Speaker 3: So with kids, I like to tell them kids, I'm

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Speaker 3: talking about teenagers in early twenties, I want to see

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Speaker 3: the numbers.

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Speaker 1: What does it cost to be you? What does a cost?

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Speaker 3: As the middle child this recently, what would have cost

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Speaker 3: to you if you were to do X, Y and z.

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Speaker 3: Because he's figuring out career plans. Can your career plan

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Speaker 3: support what you want? The lifestyle that you want? And

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Speaker 3: you have to find a balance, right, If you want

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Speaker 3: to live a very modest lifestyle, you can choose a

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Speaker 3: career that supports that. And so it's really important for

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Speaker 3: them to understand the math of their own life.

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Speaker 1: And then we have to.

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Speaker 3: Take a step back because sometimes we impose on them

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Speaker 3: our own values and our own priorities when it comes

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Speaker 3: to the lifestyle that we want to live, and we

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Speaker 3: over subsidize them. In other words, they'll say, I want

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Speaker 3: to do this, and I'm willing to live this way,

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Speaker 3: and I'm willing to have three roommates because I want

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Speaker 3: to go do this career that's very risky and I

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Speaker 3: won't have enough money. We have to be careful not

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Speaker 3: to interfere with that. We have to let it play out.

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Speaker 3: And it is really hard. It's something that I struggle

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Speaker 3: with to this day because we want to make their

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Speaker 3: life easier, especially if we struggled. We relate to that,

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Speaker 3: and it's sometimes harder. The more resources you have to

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Speaker 3: teach a kid to be a financial grown up, it's hard.

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Speaker 1: Well do you think it's in general harder than in

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Speaker 1: the past? And I know, I know there's been a

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Speaker 1: lot of headlines about between levels of student loans or

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Speaker 1: the price of housing in certain markets, although obviously it

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Speaker 1: sounds like your daughter did in fact manage to purchase

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Speaker 1: a home, so she's, you know, the millennial gen z

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Speaker 1: whatever is that has managed to become a property owner.

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Speaker 1: But do you think, I mean, is it harder or

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Speaker 1: is it not? I mean, what did you say.

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Speaker 3: I do think that there are some systemic societal changes

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Speaker 3: that have happened, but I also think the lens that

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Speaker 3: we see things through has changed, and I think it's

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Speaker 3: very interesting to observe as a society that very often

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Speaker 3: we will frame it, for example, as a negative when

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Speaker 3: someone moves home after college or stays home after high

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Speaker 3: school if they're not going to college.

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Speaker 1: And I view it.

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Speaker 3: In most cases as a positive because I think it's

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Speaker 3: unrealistic to stay to someone. Okay, you just graduated college,

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Speaker 3: possible with debt too. You're getting your first job, hopefully

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Speaker 3: your lowest paying job.

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Speaker 1: Ever.

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Speaker 3: You may or may not have health insurance and other

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Speaker 3: benefits because the gig economy has grown so much, and

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Speaker 3: because we now have the Affordable Care Act and so

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Speaker 3: a lot of companies can sort of get away with

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Speaker 3: not giving health insurance until kids are twenty six. So

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Speaker 3: is it even realistic to set a kit up for

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Speaker 3: failure to go out and suddenly be their own household? Like?

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Speaker 1: Why is that considered the norm? Why isn't the norm?

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Speaker 3: Hey, if it's available, to go home, regroup, create a

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Speaker 3: financial foundation, as our oldest did, right she stayed home

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Speaker 3: for two years. I discussed this in the book in

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Speaker 3: more detail, but basically, in launching Financial Grown Ups, I

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Speaker 3: explain how she moved home with a very specific plan.

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Speaker 3: She wasn't a slacker like we used to call gen

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Speaker 3: xers when we moved home. She was very much proactively

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Speaker 3: saving to have not only the money for a down payment,

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Speaker 3: to have the money for the closing costs, to make

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Speaker 3: sure her credit score was high enough that she could

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Speaker 3: get a good mortgage and make sure she had the

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Speaker 3: emergency backup fund so she wouldn't have to ask us

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Speaker 3: for money, knowing that we would be there if she

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Speaker 3: did need it. I think it's really important for parents

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Speaker 3: to not say we're not there for you. Let the

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Speaker 3: kid know we're there for you, but we expect you

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Speaker 3: won't need it. We hope you won't need it, but

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Speaker 3: of course we're going to be there for you. I

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Speaker 3: think that should be the norm. Let kids come home,

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Speaker 3: because how else are they going to build an emergency fund.

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Speaker 3: If they're living paycheck to paycheck and they're struggling to

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Speaker 3: pay down student debt, which we know mathematically is higher

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Speaker 3: than it was in past generations, it's not realistic for

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Speaker 3: us to just kind of throw them out there to

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Speaker 3: the wolves. And I also think, and we learned this

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Speaker 3: in COVID, that there's a very special relationship when adult

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Speaker 3: kids can live at home for a defined period of time,

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Speaker 3: with a plan, with an exit strategy. I'm not saying indefinitely,

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Speaker 3: because they do have to grow up, but it's kind

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Speaker 3: of nice to have that relationship evolve and for them

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Speaker 3: to see you. With the launch of this book, I

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Speaker 3: finally learned some of the ups and downs that my

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Speaker 3: parents had had financially that I had no idea and

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Speaker 3: it took until now for it to come out, prompted

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Speaker 3: by the book. But my parents, I think, to some degree,

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Speaker 3: overshielded me because I never understood that maybe it wasn't

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Speaker 3: so easy to write that check for something going on.

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Speaker 3: I was oblivious as a child. Let them in the

436
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:18,679
Speaker 3: amount you feel comfortable. I'm not saying open it all

437
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 3: up if it's not appropriate, but sometimes sharing with them

438
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 3: that you're just not a bottomless pit of money to

439
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,640
Speaker 3: support whatever activity they want can be really valuable.

440
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:29,920
Speaker 1: And also just empathetic.

441
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,760
Speaker 3: If they understand that you didn't always have it so easy,

442
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,919
Speaker 3: and you struggled, and maybe you had career insecurities or

443
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:39,680
Speaker 3: whatever it may be, that really opens up a new

444
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 3: chapter in your relationship that can be so wonderful, awesome.

445
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,160
Speaker 1: All right, well, we're going to take a quick ad break.

446
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,840
Speaker 1: We'll be back with more from Bobbie Ravel about launching

447
00:20:47,920 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 1: financial gurn Ups. Well, we are back talking with Bobby

448
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 1: Rebel about how we can launch Financial grown Up, since

449
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,600
Speaker 1: she's been talking about how moving back home is not

450
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,879
Speaker 1: necessarily a sign of failure, that it can be a

451
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 1: way to build wealth in the early years when your

452
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,480
Speaker 1: earnings might be low, and then you have that possibility.

453
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 1: But let's back up a few more years. Let's talk

454
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,120
Speaker 1: teen years. Okay, So we have a lot of listeners

455
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,800
Speaker 1: who have kids in the tween and teen ages and

456
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 1: they're saying, well, I'd like to have good financial conversations

457
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 1: with my kids. What are some ways we can open

458
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 1: up that topic and some good ideas for how to

459
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 1: teach kids a little bit more about how they might

460
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,920
Speaker 1: handle money before they're actually going out on their own.

461
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love this question.

462
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,640
Speaker 3: And the answer to your question is to ask questions,

463
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,160
Speaker 3: ask them, ask them what matters to them, and ask

464
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 3: them how they feel about certain things. Right, and look

465
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 3: for openings in whatever is going on in your daily life.

466
00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,640
Speaker 3: So you might just put them in charge, for example,

467
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,159
Speaker 3: of the groceries one week, even if you're paying for it,

468
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,200
Speaker 3: ask them to figure out how to make a budget work,

469
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:13,639
Speaker 3: or think about ways to get them I guess to

470
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,120
Speaker 3: kind of extract what their goals are and what they're

471
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 3: doing to get to those goals. So, for example, thinking

472
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,120
Speaker 3: about the kind of lifestyle that they want to lead,

473
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 3: what's important to them? Do they want to live in

474
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 3: a city, Well, what career choices would make sense for that?

475
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 3: Or what are you interested in? Hey, what does that pay?

476
00:22:30,359 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 3: Because now we have so much salary information available online,

477
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,919
Speaker 3: they can go through, well what does it cost to

478
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,159
Speaker 3: be me? And what is the cost it? Does the

479
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 3: math work if I want this career?

480
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,160
Speaker 1: And so for.

481
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 3: Example, I'm giving a lot of my own examples here.

482
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,639
Speaker 3: With our oldest she had wanted to be a teacher.

483
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 3: She was constantly getting higher and higher certifications with their lifeguards.

484
00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,680
Speaker 3: She was amazing with kids, a great camp counselor.

485
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:54,679
Speaker 1: But she did the math what does it cost to

486
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:54,919
Speaker 1: be me?

487
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,479
Speaker 3: In New York City where she wanted to live and

488
00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 3: to be comfortable and be able to go out with

489
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,600
Speaker 3: her friends. And she ended up switching majors in college

490
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 3: because she wanted more income, And I think that's fine.

491
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 3: She found something that she also loved, and she's a

492
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:15,360
Speaker 3: cybersecurity consultant now and pays better than teaching, and it's

493
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 3: also fulfilling. And that doesn't mean that some days she

494
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,800
Speaker 3: won't teach. It doesn't mean maybe she won't teach a

495
00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 3: course on cybersecurity at a local college, right, So you

496
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 3: can do that. But sometimes what you love doesn't have

497
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 3: to be what you do for money, and I think

498
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 3: that's an important lesson for teenagers. It's also important for

499
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:33,479
Speaker 3: parents to realize the way that they're communicating with their

500
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 3: children and the subtle messages that they send can really

501
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,679
Speaker 3: have an impact. There's a theory called your money scripts.

502
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,199
Speaker 1: Have you heard of this? I've heard that we certainly

503
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 1: have stories about money and our heads from our backgrounds.

504
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,840
Speaker 3: So the term money script actually comes from a financial

505
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:52,719
Speaker 3: therapist who's also a CFP named Brad Klants, and so

506
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,159
Speaker 3: people can google that and learn more about it. But

507
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 3: he basically talks about the fact that we have unconscious

508
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,199
Speaker 3: beliefs about money that stem from our childhood. So I

509
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 3: say this because I want parents to be very mindful

510
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 3: that it's not only what you directly communicate to children

511
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:11,520
Speaker 3: and teens, it's what they're observing and basically your household

512
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 3: culture when it comes to money and the unwritten and

513
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,639
Speaker 3: unsaid things that you say.

514
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 1: So maybe you.

515
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 3: Get a bill and you are discussing it with your

516
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 3: partner and they overhear it, or they hear the stress

517
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,719
Speaker 3: in your voice, or they hear the excitement in your

518
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 3: voice when something good happens in your career or something

519
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,919
Speaker 3: like that. Just be aware that they're understanding more than

520
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 3: you might realize, and that the unconscious messages that you're

521
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,480
Speaker 3: sending to them that are shaping the way that they

522
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,320
Speaker 3: view money. And I think that's really important for parents also,

523
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 3: especially with teenagers.

524
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I mean with that though, I think a

525
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 1: question probably at least some number of our listeners may

526
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: have is maybe they didn't grow up with as much

527
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:56,120
Speaker 1: resources as they now have. So whatever script they absorbed

528
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:59,440
Speaker 1: from their growing up, I mean, there just wasn't as

529
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 1: much money around, which means that there are harder choices

530
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 1: to make all the time. Or if their parents said

531
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,880
Speaker 1: we can't afford something, they actually believed it. So when

532
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 1: they are growing up though, with more resources which children

533
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,680
Speaker 1: can pick up on. You know, they can google your

534
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 1: address and see what you paid for your house, right,

535
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 1: I mean, there's just the level of transparency is there

536
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: in a way that I think was not necessarily in

537
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:26,120
Speaker 1: the past. How can you sort of direct those scripts

538
00:25:26,160 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 1: to recognizing that you still do have to make smart choices.

539
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 3: I love this question and it comes up all the time.

540
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 3: It's probably one of the most common questions that I get.

541
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,639
Speaker 3: There was a trend recently on TikTok called loud budgeting,

542
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,760
Speaker 3: and I wish I had been so clever to come

543
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 3: up with this term. I call it peer positive peer pressure.

544
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,160
Speaker 3: Because kids see so much, whether it's on social media

545
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:51,080
Speaker 3: or just among their friends about different things and wanting

546
00:25:51,119 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 3: to kind of keep up. You can't just say, well,

547
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:55,280
Speaker 3: we don't have the money for that. It's very hard

548
00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,919
Speaker 3: to say no. So it's not a question of not

549
00:25:57,960 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 3: having the money. It's a question of making different choice.

550
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,280
Speaker 3: And that's really the way to frame it for kids,

551
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 3: and I think that's actually a wonderful way to approach money,

552
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 3: is it's not a question of not having enough. It's

553
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 3: a question that these are the deliberate, thoughtful choices that

554
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,680
Speaker 3: we make with our money. It may be simply that

555
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,440
Speaker 3: we're going to save it because we want to have

556
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:18,400
Speaker 3: a larger financial cushion. We want to have more money

557
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,680
Speaker 3: to invest. It doesn't have to be because we don't

558
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 3: have the money for that. It's because we're choosing not

559
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:27,400
Speaker 3: to buy that one item. And I really advocate for

560
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,639
Speaker 3: parents not only using that with their kids, but helping

561
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,959
Speaker 3: their kids use that language with their peers, because when

562
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 3: they're teenagers, so much of that push for financial things,

563
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,240
Speaker 3: for material things is coming from their peer group, and

564
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:47,080
Speaker 3: if they can learn to manage that peer pressure by

565
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 3: saying I could buy it, but I'm not going to.

566
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 3: For example, I'm going to I'm investing it. I'm buying

567
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 3: in videos them. Right, I'm saying day trading millionaire.

568
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 1: I don't know exactly.

569
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 3: So, like you can have your face fancy purse or

570
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,840
Speaker 3: whatever they're buying these days, your fancy sneakers, your golden

571
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 3: goose sneakers for six hundred dollars or whatever they're now

572
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 3: going for.

573
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 1: I'm not into that.

574
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,159
Speaker 3: I'm going to buy one hundred dollars snakers, which is

575
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 3: still a lot of money, and I'm going to take

576
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 3: the five hundred bucks and I'm going to put it

577
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 3: into the QQQ stock mark. I'm not endorsing anything but

578
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 3: into a technology stock index, and let's see how who's

579
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 3: got more stuff at the end of the year.

580
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: Whatever it may be.

581
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 3: Right, So give them the language so that not only

582
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,160
Speaker 3: you're having those discussions with them, but when it comes

583
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 3: up outside the household, they have the words to support

584
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 3: whatever their decision may be.

585
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now when your kids went off to college,

586
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 1: what was your financial arrangement with them, I mean, apart

587
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,720
Speaker 1: from whatever tuition and all that might be, which is

588
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 1: its own discussion, but like in terms of financial support,

589
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 1: was there still or should people think that there should

590
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: be ongoing support or I mean, what point does that

591
00:27:58,960 --> 00:27:59,760
Speaker 1: kind of evolve.

592
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,360
Speaker 3: I think that's really an individual decision and that can

593
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:07,520
Speaker 3: be influenced by many different factors. Right in my case, honestly,

594
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 3: it was factored very much by my husband, who felt

595
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:14,119
Speaker 3: very strongly that he wanted them to focus exclusively on

596
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 3: their studies and we did not have a huge emphasis

597
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,800
Speaker 3: on them quote earning their own money. That said, they

598
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 3: were on a budget, so they did not have a

599
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:25,440
Speaker 3: bottomless pit of money. I think, as I said, that's

600
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,439
Speaker 3: a very personal decision. I personally, when I was growing up,

601
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 3: my father had me have jobs in college, and I

602
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,919
Speaker 3: think it was really valuable, but it's important that we

603
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 3: not make these decisions in a vacuum.

604
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:35,960
Speaker 1: If we have a.

605
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 3: Partner or another parent involved, sometimes you have to make

606
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 3: a compromise and do something that you can kind of

607
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 3: both live with. Which is a delicate way of saying

608
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 3: I didn't get my way.

609
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:50,600
Speaker 1: I think it's really good for kids to have jobs.

610
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that hasn't always happened because again, I'm not

611
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 3: a household of one. It's not a dictatorship. We have

612
00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 3: to compromise, and he felt that was the best thing

613
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 3: to do. But I will tell you, these are kids

614
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 3: that we're getting very strong grades, that were doing very

615
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 3: important work in the community. And actually, I correct myself.

616
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:13,720
Speaker 3: During the pandemic, my stepson did actually work from home.

617
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,280
Speaker 3: He worked for me, and he worked for a company,

618
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,600
Speaker 3: a company that I worked for at the time. They

619
00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 3: needed production help because I was suddenly broadcasting from home, yep,

620
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:25,640
Speaker 3: and they hired him and they really did put him

621
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 3: to work, So he did actually have a job. So

622
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 3: I have to correct myself. He did have a job,

623
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 3: and he did invest that money, and again it's doing

624
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 3: very well. He actually has proven to be a very

625
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 3: strong investor. So I'm very proud of how he's putting

626
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 3: that money to use. I think it, like I said,

627
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 3: it's a family discussion, and it's also kids specific, because

628
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 3: what works for you know, I have three kids.

629
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:50,000
Speaker 1: You have I think five? I do we have five kids?

630
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 1: And are they all the same personality? They are not

631
00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,959
Speaker 1: in any way the same personality at all, exactly.

632
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 3: So I think it's really important that we have a

633
00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 3: lot of gray years when it comes to kids and people.

634
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 1: To me as an expert, but you know what you do.

635
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,600
Speaker 3: You your kids are all individuals, and you, guys, you

636
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 3: know in your heart what they need. I think jobs

637
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 3: could be great to provide structure. I think if that's first,

638
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,720
Speaker 3: and also of course if there's an economic need for

639
00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 3: them to have their own spending money. I think the

640
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 3: best thing is to have a kid have a job

641
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:18,880
Speaker 3: and that's their spending money. And if you can cover

642
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 3: the tuition, that's great. I certainly think the jobs where

643
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 3: you work for your tuition in part you may have

644
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 3: a combination of grants. I think the works I think

645
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,360
Speaker 3: it's called the work study. I think those are amazing.

646
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 3: They're great because those jobs are they're like the best jobs.

647
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 3: I was always jealous of the kids that had those

648
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 3: jobs in college, because they have all the fun jobs.

649
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 3: You know. I was fold and closed at a store

650
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 3: that was similar to the gap, but that was my

651
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 3: job in college, was just working in retail.

652
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 1: I think it really can vary.

653
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,000
Speaker 3: And the important thing is that your kid is aware

654
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 3: of the value of the school you're sending them to.

655
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 3: If you're paying all the tuition, you should show them

656
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:55,959
Speaker 3: the bills. And that is one thing I did, is

657
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 3: I would show them every bill so that they could

658
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 3: see how much it costs. And also I would have

659
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 3: them get the bills and ask for reimbursement for activities.

660
00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 3: That way, they're really when they physically see the bill

661
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 3: and they have to ask you for that sorority dues

662
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 3: to be paid back into their account, they're aware of

663
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 3: the cost rather than them just magically being paid. So

664
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,920
Speaker 3: it's all about the conversations, and it's also about what

665
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 3: is right for each individual kid and well, and.

666
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 1: With that, I understand from some things you've written and

667
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 1: said that you are not a big fan of the

668
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:32,040
Speaker 1: idea of people like cutting off kids at an arbitrary age,

669
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: that there's not like some point that everyone has to

670
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: be fully on their own that you've seen happy families

671
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 1: do different things at different ages. Yeah.

672
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 3: Absolutely, Look, but I will say candidly that the book

673
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 3: Launching Financial grown Ups is written in theory for parents

674
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 3: and grandparents and adults who love them. Ages sixteen to

675
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 3: twenty six is the range, and there is a reason

676
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 3: for that.

677
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 1: I when the health insurance goes away, right, twenty six, Yeah,

678
00:31:58,200 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 1: well that's exactly that, right. Yeah.

679
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 3: I'd written it before the affordable character, it probably would

680
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 3: have been twenty two, twenty three, yeah, right, But I

681
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 3: do think that that is our society kind of has

682
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,920
Speaker 3: extended adolescence into the twenties at this point from a

683
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,680
Speaker 3: financial standpoint, where they do create this financial tie that

684
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 3: makes sense if it doesn't cost me more money to

685
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 3: put the twenty four year old on our health insurance,

686
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 3: which happens to be the case right now. Why would

687
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,880
Speaker 3: I ever create an artificial bill to prove a point? Yeah,

688
00:32:24,920 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 3: that's silly. Yeah, And I do talk a lot about

689
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 3: the family ecosystem and never increasing cost to prove a point.

690
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 1: If you have a kid on your phone.

691
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 3: Bill and they cost fifty bucks a month, but to

692
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 3: have them on their own be one hundred bucks a month,

693
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 3: keep them on your phone bill. They can pay you

694
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 3: back on set up an autopay where they're hitting you

695
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 3: with a fifty bucks a month, they could reimburse you.

696
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 3: But by all means, don't create artificial bills.

697
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 1: That's just silly. So funny story with that. I mean,

698
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: I came of age before cell phones, right, so I

699
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 1: was always had my own plan. My little brother, who

700
00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 1: is a number of years younger than me, obviously grew

701
00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 1: up with a cell phone in his high school then,

702
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: so he was on my parents' plan forever, right like

703
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:09,000
Speaker 1: into his thirties and so on. At some point in

704
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 1: his thirties he's like, okay, this is enough, so he

705
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: got a family plan and put my parents on it.

706
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 3: Now.

707
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 1: I love that, so they can be on his plan

708
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:18,640
Speaker 1: now forever.

709
00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 3: But that's genius, because the point is, if it's going

710
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 3: to be cheaper for the family ecosystem, do it right.

711
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 3: If Netflix is allowing you five logins at any.

712
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 1: Household, I don't know that.

713
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,360
Speaker 3: I haven't looked recently how they phrase it, but if

714
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 3: I don't want to advocate anyone breaking the law, but

715
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 3: by all means, share subscriptions. If there's a family plan

716
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 3: that makes sense for you, and you don't have to

717
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 3: nickel and dime your kids if it's if you're already

718
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 3: paying and it's unlimited. You know it's up to six

719
00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 3: people in your family, Well, you don't fit in there, but.

720
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: You know, so my kid is going to be on

721
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 1: his own for his own Netflix. I don't know what

722
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 1: it is. We'll see who's the highest turner, right, But I.

723
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 3: Told the kids I was paying for Spotify. I think

724
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,480
Speaker 3: the plan is up to six users. I said, you

725
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 3: could be on my Spotify free, no problem, because it's

726
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 3: not costing me anything more the phone plan. If the

727
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 3: phone costs me fifty dollars more, you're paying me back

728
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 3: the fifty dollars, right, so that they're aware of it.

729
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 3: If they choose to not use Spotify and they want

730
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,200
Speaker 3: to use another one, you're not.

731
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,040
Speaker 1: Paying for it. You're are with the competit on your own.

732
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:20,000
Speaker 1: But it just makes sense.

733
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 3: But as to the you know, the cutoff age, it's

734
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 3: not about a one time cut off.

735
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 1: It's really about.

736
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 3: Creating an exit strategy, and that is something there's a

737
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,759
Speaker 3: whole chapter in the book called the exit strategy. You

738
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 3: don't want it to go on indefinitely, and it's not

739
00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 3: about a magical age.

740
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,720
Speaker 1: But let's say they.

741
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 3: Do something for a few years and then they go

742
00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 3: to a graduate school, and again something makes sense to

743
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 3: share some expense in some way, like for them to

744
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,400
Speaker 3: live at home. Well, let them live at home. I

745
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 3: got divorced very young. I'm now remarried, but I left

746
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 3: at home for a year. I didn't even need It

747
00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 3: wasn't financial.

748
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: I need to be with my parents.

749
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 3: I was in a life change that I needed to

750
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,399
Speaker 3: be just with my parents. So I think it's really

751
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,520
Speaker 3: important that we not judge and we not have these

752
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,760
Speaker 3: absolute rules that different gener can't live together at different

753
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,920
Speaker 3: stages in life. Conversely, you might have something where you

754
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,479
Speaker 3: might be living with your parents because they.

755
00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: Need your help.

756
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,920
Speaker 3: Maybe you have aging parents and it's not about your

757
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:13,319
Speaker 3: financial dependence or money at all. So I love the

758
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 3: idea of generational household. I think that that can be

759
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:18,520
Speaker 3: a blessing in the right phase.

760
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, just the idea of having close relationships with

761
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 1: your adult children. As this evolves, as adolescence does take longer.

762
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 1: I mean there was a time when I mean my

763
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,319
Speaker 1: parents got married at age twenty one, so of course

764
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 1: they're off launched on their own very young, but that's

765
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 1: just not something people really do so much anymore. And

766
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:42,279
Speaker 1: so having those extra years where people are building their

767
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:44,520
Speaker 1: lives and you can still be a part of it

768
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 1: as a parent, it is kind of a cool concept.

769
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: So I think it's a really cool concept.

770
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 3: And I think that you could have a whole different

771
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 3: discussion with someone who is a different level of expertise

772
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 3: whether these are good trends or not that people are

773
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 3: getting married later and forming households later. But when you

774
00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 3: look back, was it the best thing that a lot

775
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:02,879
Speaker 3: of women were dropping out of college because they got

776
00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 3: married and then they never had that economic independence so

777
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 3: that they would have it later in life when inevitably

778
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:11,720
Speaker 3: many women do need it through divorce or being widowed

779
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 3: or whatever it may be. And was it so good

780
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,839
Speaker 3: for a twenty yeue year old man to suddenly have

781
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 3: no time to sort of evolve their career where there

782
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 3: suddenly have to be the breadwinner and it's all on

783
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 3: them because the women couldn't work. It's a whole separate discussion,

784
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,399
Speaker 3: But I'm not sure these are bad trends that we're

785
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 3: doing these things later and letting people breathe a little

786
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 3: bit first, And one question you put.

787
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 1: And this is something that I think is not an

788
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: automatic thought for maybe women, that you need to that

789
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:41,759
Speaker 1: it's good to have the thought though, that what does

790
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:45,640
Speaker 1: it cost to be me? And that I am responsible

791
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:50,839
Speaker 1: for that? Right, yeah, because that is not historically been

792
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:55,919
Speaker 1: that whatever it costs to be you? Raising X number

793
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 1: of kids is something that you are personally responsible for.

794
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 1: And obviously, you know there are lots of different ways

795
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,759
Speaker 1: families are structured, and we're big fans of stay at

796
00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 1: home parents here at best of both worlds too. But

797
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 1: it's good to at least go into it thinking about

798
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,759
Speaker 1: what resources are going to be necessary and whether you

799
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 1: have the option of creating those resources on your own,

800
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:15,840
Speaker 1: should you need to.

801
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I should say I've had a very hybrid

802
00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:22,360
Speaker 3: work experience, and I have talked about this. Most of

803
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 3: the reason that I left being a full time journalist

804
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,359
Speaker 3: was because I did want to be home more with

805
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:27,920
Speaker 3: my kids.

806
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:29,280
Speaker 1: It's so funny.

807
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 3: I look at my first book and I write it,

808
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,600
Speaker 3: you know, my seven year old is sleeping, and I'm like,

809
00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,239
Speaker 3: oh my goodness, I was so young.

810
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 1: He was such a baby. He's said all you know,

811
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 1: now that is oh gosh.

812
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 3: But you know, I just wanted to be home with him.

813
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,040
Speaker 3: And you know, that's why I went from being a

814
00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 3: full time journalist to being an author, so that I

815
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 3: could have this hybrid life where I could still have

816
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:51,400
Speaker 3: a career. But also it's not always just about getting

817
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 3: the and paying for the childcare. It's also about the

818
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:56,800
Speaker 3: experience of being a parent. I've a friend who's always

819
00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,520
Speaker 3: reminding me, don't forget it's the journey. It's the journey

820
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,880
Speaker 3: getting it done. And I think that's so important, and

821
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that you brought that up. But I

822
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 3: do think that, especially after the pandemic, what's really wonderful

823
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,960
Speaker 3: is a lot of stay at home parents, whether their

824
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:15,400
Speaker 3: moms or dads, can have a more of a hybrid

825
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 3: approach to work if they choose to. And that's really

826
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 3: been a gift for me that now I'm talking to

827
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,439
Speaker 3: you from my home office versus before the pandemic, even

828
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:26,560
Speaker 3: when I worked for myself, I went into an office

829
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 3: because of just the social pressures and the social norms.

830
00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 3: And now my sixteen year old is waiting, and when

831
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 3: we're done, I'm taking him to his tennis lesson Excellent,

832
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:36,080
Speaker 3: It isn't that great?

833
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,040
Speaker 1: And then when I'm done with that.

834
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 3: I'll come back and I'll be writing my weekly newsletter,

835
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 3: which tends to be bi weekly sometimes because I'm not

836
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 3: as good as your jivement, your.

837
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,320
Speaker 1: Time management skills.

838
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:46,399
Speaker 3: I need to get better at listening to that your

839
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:47,879
Speaker 3: morning podcast, which I love.

840
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you.

841
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:51,760
Speaker 3: I think it's important. You made a really good point

842
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,560
Speaker 3: and a very important point for all of us.

843
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 1: Well excellent. Well, so we always end with a love

844
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:00,400
Speaker 1: of the week. So I can go first, so you

845
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 1: can think of it if you would like. But I'm

846
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 1: going to throw out the concept of reverse ATMs, which

847
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 1: has saved me in a few situations. So the number

848
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 1: of places that have gone cashlests since the pandemic is

849
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,279
Speaker 1: kind of startling to me as a person who it

850
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:18,280
Speaker 1: likes cash and also likes to give children cash because

851
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,560
Speaker 1: I feel like they can use it and if they

852
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,480
Speaker 1: lose it, they haven't lost that much of anything. It's

853
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 1: not a problem. But so many places are cash lists now.

854
00:39:26,200 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 1: So I've like sent kids to amusement parks on like

855
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:30,399
Speaker 1: youth group trips and they're like, wait, I can't use

856
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: my cash. I have to use a card. But most

857
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,840
Speaker 1: of these places now have installed machines where they're reverse ATMs.

858
00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 1: You put in the cash, get out a card for

859
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 1: that amount, and so then you can use that. So

860
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:41,359
Speaker 1: I think that's kind of a cool technology as well.

861
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 1: I love that.

862
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's really smart and it really is

863
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,200
Speaker 3: a way of bridging the gap between the sort of

864
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:50,600
Speaker 3: push and pull between because people always ask me, they

865
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 3: frame digital money as such a problem, but it's the reality.

866
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 3: So it's important that we can sort of go between

867
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 3: both worlds. Yeah, there, I made a pun on your podcast.

868
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 1: Exactly, all right, what's your I love of the weak, Bobby.

869
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,800
Speaker 3: So my son just came back. I have a sixteen

870
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 3: year old who goes to boarding school. He's in tenth grade,

871
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 3: and he just came home for spring break a couple

872
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 3: of days ago. And what's interesting is with teenagers, this

873
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 3: could happen. I'm sure if your kid's home full time

874
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 3: as well, but it seems like they're changing. All kids

875
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:20,399
Speaker 3: are changing constantly, but you get it in chunks when

876
00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,560
Speaker 3: they come home from boarding school. And so he just

877
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 3: came home and I haven't seen him in person. Well

878
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,359
Speaker 3: I saw him in person in New York a month ago,

879
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 3: but still having these full conversations with him he's like

880
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,560
Speaker 3: this many adult. He changes and he's suddenly challenging me

881
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 3: on things and his new thing and this is a fun,

882
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,080
Speaker 3: interesting thing, so people can try with their teenagers. His

883
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:42,839
Speaker 3: new phase is he is listening to these songs, rock

884
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 3: and roll songs, kind of I don't know. He was

885
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 3: listening to Guns n' Roses and also Hotel California.

886
00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 1: I think that's the Eagles.

887
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:51,920
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't even know these songs, but

888
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:53,239
Speaker 3: I kind of know them, but I don't know who

889
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:56,040
Speaker 3: sings all of them. And he's looking at the words

890
00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 3: and sort of trying to figure out, well, what is

891
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:02,720
Speaker 3: the true meaning of this song? And apparently, for example,

892
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 3: he told me and people can look this up. I

893
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:08,200
Speaker 3: haven't verified these yet, Hotel California is actually about materialism

894
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 3: and the quest for more and more success in America.

895
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 3: You can check out, but you can never leave. I

896
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:16,879
Speaker 3: guess I have no right. We're constantly striving for more.

897
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 3: That's what he said. But the point is, I'm having

898
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:25,000
Speaker 3: these deep conversations with this manchild, this change who's sixteen,

899
00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:29,120
Speaker 3: that I've never had before. He suddenly became this super intellectual,

900
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:33,399
Speaker 3: curious kid who's just like researching all these songs. He's

901
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,680
Speaker 3: researching David Bowie songs and I don't want to say

902
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:39,839
Speaker 3: what some of those are about, but I was like, oh, okay,

903
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,720
Speaker 3: he's challenging me. It's just so interesting when your kid

904
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 3: changes on you in a fascinating way that you didn't

905
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 3: see coming.

906
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:49,719
Speaker 1: So that's my love. Well, and I bet he's like

907
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: two inches taller than the last time you saw him

908
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,240
Speaker 1: as well, so that's always why.

909
00:41:53,040 --> 00:41:55,680
Speaker 3: That happens too, Yes, and the ironies. And we went

910
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,280
Speaker 3: to the pediatrician, which he was sort of he felt humiliated.

911
00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 1: I don't know if teenage parents can understand this, because.

912
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,040
Speaker 3: They do have to still go to a pediatrician at

913
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,640
Speaker 3: age sixteen. They do, and he wasn't happy about that

914
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 3: because you've got these like toddlers in the office because

915
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:10,920
Speaker 3: it's spring break, so the kids down here are in school,

916
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 3: so there's no other teenager at ten am on a

917
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 3: Monday in the pediatrician's office. But he's there with the

918
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,720
Speaker 3: babies that aren't in school yet. But the pediatrician clarified

919
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 3: that they do take kids certainly until eighteen and sometimes

920
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:23,720
Speaker 3: twenty one.

921
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 1: So anyway, pediatric and adolescent health, Yes, so Bobby let

922
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 1: everyone know where they can find you.

923
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 3: You can find me at Financial Wellness Strategies dot com

924
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 3: where you can learn more about that business. You can

925
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 3: also buy my book Launching Financial Grownups on Amazon or ideally,

926
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 3: I'll say, at your local bookstore. But if they don't

927
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 3: stock it because it's been out for a year, please

928
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 3: ask them to get it. And the same thing at

929
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 3: libraries libraries. If you don't see it at your local library,

930
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 3: please ask them to stock it at your local library,

931
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,400
Speaker 3: because we always do want to support libraries.

932
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 1: Excellent. Well, thank you so much for joining us, Bobby,

933
00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 1: We really appreciate it. Thank you so much for having me. Well,

934
00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:04,400
Speaker 1: we are back listening to Bobby Rebel talk about launching

935
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 1: Financial Grownups and how we can help young adult children

936
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 1: and teens and tweens figure out how to navigate the

937
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:18,000
Speaker 1: world of money. So this question came to Sarah. I

938
00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 1: can read it says, do I have this right that

939
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 1: neither of you use Google Calendar or digital calendars at all?

940
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: How do you schedule appointments that go on your paper

941
00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 1: planner when you go out? Do you have a different

942
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 1: system for how and do you write down tasks like

943
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:40,880
Speaker 1: call for doctor's appointments and events like Mother's Day brunch, Sarah,

944
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:42,760
Speaker 1: are we writing on cave walls?

945
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 3: Like?

946
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 1: How far in the past are we living?

947
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 2: I know this is kind of funny as you read

948
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 2: the question, I'm like, the question did seem a little incredulous.

949
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,239
Speaker 2: I'm like, but in twenty ten, I mean, no one

950
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:58,359
Speaker 2: was carrying around a phone, so either you were using

951
00:43:58,360 --> 00:43:59,880
Speaker 2: like a palm pilot or you were whipping out your

952
00:43:59,920 --> 00:44:04,239
Speaker 2: lin and then that would have been weird, right, So like, anyway, yes,

953
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 2: I bring my planner with me. I usually have my

954
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 2: hobuonichi cousin everywhere I go. It is honestly just not

955
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,279
Speaker 2: that big. I mean I look at the purses and

956
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,200
Speaker 2: backpacks most people carry around, and there usually isn't a

957
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 2: space for a planner. I usually carry like a kind

958
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 2: of average sized tope bag. It has my planner, my wallets, sunglasses, keys,

959
00:44:23,880 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: It's about it. But that means if I'm in an appointment,

960
00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:28,920
Speaker 2: I can just turn to the day and write it

961
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:29,759
Speaker 2: down right then and there.

962
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 1: Now, if I do happen to.

963
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 2: Go somewhere and I don't bring it with me for

964
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,239
Speaker 2: whatever reason, then I just take my best guess. Like

965
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:39,360
Speaker 2: I know that usually Tuesdays and Thursdays are more flexible,

966
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:41,440
Speaker 2: and then I tell them I may have to call

967
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,799
Speaker 2: them a reschedule, and I email it to myself using

968
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 2: my phone right then and there, so then I know

969
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 2: when I'm clearing my inbox, I'll see that appointment be

970
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 2: able to either write it in my planner if it

971
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 2: works out or if it doesn't, be like, uh oh,

972
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 2: I have to call and fix it. But honestly, that

973
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:54,960
Speaker 2: doesn't happen all that often.

974
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I often bring my little calendar with me if

975
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 1: I'm in a situation where I think I might need

976
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 1: to schedule something, and sometimes when I'm traveling, I just

977
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 1: take a picture of the next few weeks in the

978
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:10,760
Speaker 1: little calendar. It's a pocket sized at a glance weekly calendar,

979
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,320
Speaker 1: and this is separate from my planner. So the calendar

980
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,880
Speaker 1: is where I put time specific stuff and that is

981
00:45:16,920 --> 00:45:19,439
Speaker 1: for the whole year, so I can schedule stuff out

982
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:22,359
Speaker 1: as far as I need to. I buy the next

983
00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 1: year is in like September, so then I have that

984
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: to schedule out for the next year for anything. The

985
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 1: planner is where I create my priority lists for an

986
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 1: actual week and create my daily to do list, so

987
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:35,360
Speaker 1: I have two separate things. But because of that, the

988
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 1: calendar is quite tiny and is no bigger than a phone,

989
00:45:38,760 --> 00:45:41,759
Speaker 1: so it can go anywhere if I'm worried about losing it.

990
00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:43,319
Speaker 1: Like I said, I take pictures of the next few

991
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 1: weeks and then I have that on my phone so

992
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,239
Speaker 1: I can consult that if I happen to not have

993
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:51,839
Speaker 1: the paper calendar with me. And yeah, I've taken guesses too.

994
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,439
Speaker 1: It for some reason I don't have it and find

995
00:45:53,480 --> 00:45:56,400
Speaker 1: I need to make an appointment, I will guess and

996
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,759
Speaker 1: then call back if I need to. It's really not

997
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,640
Speaker 1: that challenging. I haven't had anyone really look at me

998
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: like I am carving on a cave wall. Maybe it

999
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:10,920
Speaker 1: could happen, but I'm okay. It works. It works. If

1000
00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,879
Speaker 1: it works, it works, I mean really in life, if

1001
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:17,480
Speaker 1: something works, it works, right, Like this is a blanket

1002
00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: productivity tip. You do not have to change just because

1003
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:23,399
Speaker 1: everyone around you has.

1004
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 3: Now.

1005
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,000
Speaker 1: I understand that if you're working in a major corporation

1006
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 1: you have to use Outlook for your work meetings and

1007
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:31,399
Speaker 1: things like that, but you can still have your own

1008
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 1: calendar that's separate, I mean, or you can, you know,

1009
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:35,400
Speaker 1: if you know roughly what your work hours are. You

1010
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 1: can have those and then schedule things outside of it

1011
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 1: on your own paper calendar if you want to, or

1012
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 1: you can have one digital calendar that's like Google and

1013
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 1: you import your stuff from work and so you can

1014
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 1: see it there. You can put your own stuff on

1015
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:48,879
Speaker 1: Google and then nobody needs to know about it at work,

1016
00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 1: but you have one source of truth as well, so

1017
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 1: lots of different options. Figure out what works for you

1018
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,920
Speaker 1: and then stick with it, right. I think it's the

1019
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 1: changing that can can make people lose stuff. Well, what's

1020
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 1: been best of Both worlds? Talking about launching Financial Grownups

1021
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 1: with Bobby Rebel. We will be back next week with

1022
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:10,240
Speaker 1: more on making work and life fit together. Thanks for listening.

1023
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 2: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com

1024
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 2: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you.

1025
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 1: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This

1026
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,879
Speaker 1: has been the best of Both Worlds podcasts. Please join

1027
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,800
Speaker 1: us next time for more on making work and life

1028
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:28,520
Speaker 1: work together.