Speaker 1: Hey, what's up everybody, Thanks for being here. If you
Speaker 1: have a question for me on this podcast, what I
Speaker 1: do is I answer them. It could be about any subject.
Speaker 1: Uh there's They've really been all over the place, and
Speaker 1: so to email me. Send a message, send your question,
Speaker 1: hopefully about the about a phone's length to podcasts at
Speaker 1: grangersmith dot com. I'll get to those emails, we'll put
Speaker 1: them in the queue, and we'll answer them on here.
Speaker 1: I don't always have the right answers, and I don't
Speaker 1: have a bunch of notes sitting in front of me.
Speaker 1: But what I what I have learned of the of
Speaker 1: the last several years of doing this. My goal really
Speaker 1: is to get you, mister questioner, missus questioner, is to
Speaker 1: get you thinking so that you could answer your own questions. Really,
Speaker 1: I guess I guess I should say that way. My
Speaker 1: goal is not to have a podcast that we go
Speaker 1: for twenty years and just try to exhaust every single
Speaker 1: possible question that I could possibly answer. Really, the goal
Speaker 1: is if you listen consistently, I hope you do. My
Speaker 1: goal is that you go. I'm starting to see how
Speaker 1: Granger gets his answers from I like his answers. Maybe
Speaker 1: you don't like them all. Surely you don't like all
Speaker 1: my answers. That would be impossible. We all have different taste.
Speaker 1: But hey, I like a lot of the way Granger
Speaker 1: answers questions, and I'm starting to see how he gets
Speaker 1: his answers so that I could I could start answering
Speaker 1: my own questions in that same way. So it's really
Speaker 1: more of of learning how to think, or learning how
Speaker 1: to think through a question. There's really even of these
Speaker 1: questions I always get to are very specific. There's only
Speaker 1: there's only seven to ten actual questions, and everything else
Speaker 1: is just caught in the details of it. Right, So
Speaker 1: let's get to the first one comes from Madison again.
Speaker 1: She emailed podcast at grangersmith dot com. And I'm kicking
Speaker 1: off with Madison's question here because this is what I'm
Speaker 1: going to kind of base this little first break on.
Speaker 1: I'll show you what I mean. She asked us, Hey, Granger,
Speaker 1: it maybe that I can't recall from reading my Bible,
Speaker 1: or that it isn't something that is within the Bible
Speaker 1: at all, But how does sports betting align with the
Speaker 1: Christian value system? I have friends within my community church
Speaker 1: that partake in sports betting, and more than anything, this
Speaker 1: is just a general thought. Is gambling a sin? That's
Speaker 1: your question? God Bless Madison. So yeah, her question is basically,
Speaker 1: is gambling a sin? It's in the context of sports betting,
Speaker 1: which I don't think there's an argument there that every
Speaker 1: kind of betting, every kind of betting that there is
Speaker 1: is would be under the umbrella of gambling. So you
Speaker 1: don't have to be in a casino pulling a slot
Speaker 1: machine lever for it to be called gambling. You don't
Speaker 1: have to be in a back alley playing poker in
Speaker 1: some kind of shambly bar for it to be considered gambling.
Speaker 1: It could be just like, oh, and I should say
Speaker 1: this too, It doesn't have to be illegal. In fact,
Speaker 1: it would be weird to only consider the sin part
Speaker 1: of gambling if it is a sin. We'll get to
Speaker 1: that if it's illegal or not, Because anything that's illegal
Speaker 1: would be considered a sin at some level, because you
Speaker 1: would be going against the authority at some level. We
Speaker 1: think that's a different question. Maybe someone else could ask
Speaker 1: that specifically and we could dive into that, But specifically,
Speaker 1: what I want talking about is legal gambling. Is that
Speaker 1: a sin? And that's basically what Madison's asking. She says,
Speaker 1: there are people in her church that do it, so
Speaker 1: let's think about it. I think we should think about
Speaker 1: it in some ways, like alcohol. You know, it's a
Speaker 1: substance that you could certainly abuse. It's a substance that is,
Speaker 1: if used in the right way, legal, and yet in
Speaker 1: so many other ways it could be devastating to a
Speaker 1: life with gambling. I first, I think, I think my
Speaker 1: first thought I would go to considering it's legal, and
Speaker 1: can consider this too. Maybe never mind, let me start here,
Speaker 1: as you could see, I make this up as I go. Y'all,
Speaker 1: let's let's let's start with make sure Madison that you
Speaker 1: understand that as we judge those Hey look, look, the
Speaker 1: Bible doesn't say don't judge period. In the story. The
Speaker 1: Bible says, be careful with your judging, because you'll be
Speaker 1: judged according to the same measure. So there are definitely
Speaker 1: some things that we should judge with with our brothers
Speaker 1: and sisters, we should we should judge them in it like,
Speaker 1: don't don't misunderstand that we don't judge. We just like
Speaker 1: turn a blind eye to everything. We have no opinion.
Speaker 1: We're just like neutral robots. And we don't care what
Speaker 1: other people do around this. Don't judge. I see that
Speaker 1: sometimes on social media it's like, hey, don't judge. Well,
Speaker 1: that's not what the Bible says, that's not what Jesus says.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's the idea of don't don't judge unless
Speaker 1: you are willing to be judged according to the same
Speaker 1: measure and a lot of the same measures we want
Speaker 1: to be judged by. Okay, so let's start there and say,
Speaker 1: let's be sure that you're you're you're you're not worried
Speaker 1: about the speck in your brother's eye, and you've got
Speaker 1: a log in your own eye. Let's make sure we're
Speaker 1: removing the log in our own eye. It is or Jesus,
Speaker 1: this is Jesus's idea that make sure when we're looking
Speaker 1: at other people, like, hey, those guys are those guys
Speaker 1: are gambling, and then you're going home and you're having
Speaker 1: it too many glasses of wine at home. You know, Hey,
Speaker 1: those guys are gambling. What's wrong with those guys? As
Speaker 1: we're popping too many pain pills, Hey, those guys are gambling.
Speaker 1: As we're addicted to social media, cannot get our heads
Speaker 1: out of our screen. We're so addicted to it. Hey,
Speaker 1: those guys are gambling, and the list goes on and on.
Speaker 1: Make sure first before we say anything, let's make sure
Speaker 1: we remove the log from our own eye before we
Speaker 1: look to anyone else. Okay, now, let's talk about that.
Speaker 1: There's also this aspect that I don't think there's anything
Speaker 1: wrong with someone in an innocent way saying, look, I
Speaker 1: legitimately like to go and bet on a sports team.
Speaker 1: It's legal, and I use twenty bucks. I like to say, hey,
Speaker 1: I like to bet on the super Bowl every year
Speaker 1: as a tradition. Hypothetically, there's a Super Bowl tradition I
Speaker 1: have in my family. I like to put twenty bucks
Speaker 1: on the team from the west of the Mississippi. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know why you would do it.
Speaker 1: I personally don't gamble at all, But I'm saying, let's
Speaker 1: think about the guy that goes. I like to put
Speaker 1: twenty dollars. It's a tradition I do every year on
Speaker 1: the Super Bowl, and there's no harm in it. I
Speaker 1: budget twenty bucks. You know, it's not like going to
Speaker 1: break the bank or anything. It's legal. I do it
Speaker 1: in a legal way. I do it in a setting
Speaker 1: of camaraderie. People around me, we do it together. Hey,
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that, But let's dive into why it
Speaker 1: could be wrong if taken the wrong way, if seen
Speaker 1: the wrong way in the wrong setting. First of all,
Speaker 1: gambling in so many ways has an underlying issue of
Speaker 1: a love of money or greed. Right. The Bible speaks
Speaker 1: thoroughly about this. Second, our first Timothy is six ' ten.
Speaker 1: The love of money is the root of all kinds
Speaker 1: of evil. Some people eager for money have wandered from
Speaker 1: the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs or many pangs.
Speaker 1: That's tough, right, and we know this. Some people eager
Speaker 1: for money have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves
Speaker 1: with many griefs. The Bible says that Paul speaking of
Speaker 1: Timothy here in his letter, he's writing a Timothy. But
Speaker 1: I don't think we have to go. I don't know, Paul,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I agree with that. All of us,
Speaker 1: non believers, believers, all of us go. Yeah, I see that.
Speaker 1: Let's see that everywhere. What about Proverbs twenty eight twenty
Speaker 1: A faithful person will be richly blessed but one eager
Speaker 1: to get rich will not go unpunished. That's interesting. So
Speaker 1: many times gambling is that the idea of it itself
Speaker 1: just stems from a desire to quickly gain wealth. And
Speaker 1: trying to quickly gain wealth, that's reflecting a love of money, agreed,
Speaker 1: which the Bible condemns. It's dangerous. It's dangerous for you.
Speaker 1: The other issue I think about is poor stewardship. Poor stewardship.
Speaker 1: Now we're called to be faithful stewarts responsible and if
Speaker 1: you're using gambling, not the guy that says I bet
Speaker 1: once a year on the super Bowl for twenty bucks.
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about that guy, but I'm saying, if
Speaker 1: this is something you're into all the time, or the
Speaker 1: people at the community church you're talking about, we would
Speaker 1: have to consider something like Luke sixteen to ten that
Speaker 1: says whoever can be trusted with very little can also
Speaker 1: be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very
Speaker 1: little will also be dishonest with much. So if you
Speaker 1: have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will
Speaker 1: trust you with true riches? That's interesting. Once again, this
Speaker 1: is a thing that you don't have to go out
Speaker 1: don't believe that. You just look around you go, yeah,
Speaker 1: I get it. Man, If I can't trust you with
Speaker 1: a penny, why would I ever trust you with one
Speaker 1: hundred bucks. It doesn't You don't have to be reading
Speaker 1: the Bible to just see that played out inner world
Speaker 1: around us. So the Bible is always going to call
Speaker 1: us to be responsible stewards of our resources, knowing that
Speaker 1: God gives us everything. So when you're risking money and
Speaker 1: gambling in a careless type setting, this is a way
Speaker 1: that could hurt your stewardship and could be better used
Speaker 1: in different ways. I think that's obvious. The other thing
Speaker 1: that gambling kind of brings up in my mind is
Speaker 1: a lack of contentment, right, a lack of contentment. Hebrews
Speaker 1: thirteen to five says, keep your lives free from the
Speaker 1: love of money and be content with what you have
Speaker 1: because God has said I will never leave you, I'll
Speaker 1: never forsake you. And so so many times you see
Speaker 1: gambling turn into something that is reflecting a discontentment in
Speaker 1: their current situation. It's like, man, I want to sit
Speaker 1: at this table a little bit longer, because if I
Speaker 1: can get this and this and this, I'm gonna be happy,
Speaker 1: and that's totally going to contradict what the Bible calls
Speaker 1: to be content. Here's an important one I think about two.
Speaker 1: What is the impact of gambling on others? And this
Speaker 1: is including the guy that bets on the Super Bowl
Speaker 1: once a year. This is where I think this is
Speaker 1: dangerous for him as well. You become a stumbling box
Speaker 1: for others. Philippians two four says, don't look to your
Speaker 1: own interest, but each of you look into the interest
Speaker 1: of others. I'm paraphrasing all these and if someone is
Speaker 1: struggling with gambling, or if they're struggling with any of
Speaker 1: the things lack of contentment, poor stewardship, the love of money,
Speaker 1: and greed, if anyone around you is struggling with these
Speaker 1: and they see you going, yeah, I like to gamble
Speaker 1: once a year on a football game, even if you
Speaker 1: know how to have self control about it, that might
Speaker 1: open the door to someone else that is struggling with
Speaker 1: all of these things I've listed, and that becomes dangerous
Speaker 1: for them, and so you become a stumbling block for them,
Speaker 1: and that could just have endless repercussions on their families
Speaker 1: and their community. Financial strain, relational conflicts with their spouse.
Speaker 1: And so if we are truly, like the Bible says,
Speaker 1: considering others and the well being of others before our
Speaker 1: own desires, or at least equal to that, I think
Speaker 1: gambling in many ways could be a stumbling book. And finally,
Speaker 1: I think, probably most importantly, I think we need to
Speaker 1: consider this the addictive behavior of gambling itself and what
Speaker 1: it can cause. Even to the guy that says I
Speaker 1: bet once a year on the Super Bowl, there is
Speaker 1: a sense, and we see this play out, that gambling
Speaker 1: becomes addictive, and there are certainly certain personalities that it's
Speaker 1: more addictive too. So maybe I could use myself as
Speaker 1: an example when it comes to this stuff. I don't
Speaker 1: personally have a super addictive personality, but my brother Tyler does.
Speaker 1: He recognizes that and I recognize it. So that means
Speaker 1: Tyler has to be more careful around things that are
Speaker 1: traditionally addictive to other humans. If something has been traditionally
Speaker 1: addictive to people, Tyler's going to fall into it, not
Speaker 1: due to some extent, but not to the extent of him.
Speaker 1: Meaning there's nothing there's nothing good or bad about me
Speaker 1: or Tyler in that aspect, except for this, just different personalities,
Speaker 1: and so knowing that gambling is one of these things
Speaker 1: that easily can become addictive, we need to consider that
Speaker 1: when we're considering if gambling is a sin. One Corinthian
Speaker 1: six twelve says, Paul's talking here. I have the right
Speaker 1: to say anything you say, but not everything is beneficial.
Speaker 1: I have the right to do anything, but I will
Speaker 1: not be mastered by anything. Paul says. I will not
Speaker 1: be mastered by anything. He's saying in another way, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to be addicted to something. And that could
Speaker 1: be anything. It could be anything in life that masters you.
Speaker 1: It could be anxiety, or it could be poorn, It
Speaker 1: could be Instagram, or could be sports betting. There's there's
Speaker 1: an endless thing we can go through here. There's endless
Speaker 1: things that you could be mastered by that I could
Speaker 1: be mastered by. An addiction to relationships like I'm online
Speaker 1: dating could be that could master you. Trying to be
Speaker 1: a good father, you know, that could be something that
Speaker 1: you become obsessive over and you can't stop thinking about it.
Speaker 1: You can't stop working to be a good father. Something
Speaker 1: that has such good intentions could could be something that
Speaker 1: ends up mastering you. So it's not just cigarettes or opioids.
Speaker 1: It could be something that inherently is good, but it
Speaker 1: becomes a master over you. An obsession, an addiction, and
Speaker 1: gambling is for sure in that category. You don't have
Speaker 1: to argue that. No one's gonna argue that whatever it
Speaker 1: is about that neurologically it draws certain people in, if
Speaker 1: not everyone, at some level, there's just something about it
Speaker 1: that draws you in. And the Bible says don't be
Speaker 1: mastered by anything. And so this also goes to my
Speaker 1: fourth point, the impact on others. If others could be
Speaker 1: more addictive than you to certain things and you're doing
Speaker 1: it and you have total self control over it, and
Speaker 1: someone else sees you and they say, I want to
Speaker 1: do what he's doing or she's doing. I'm gonna try
Speaker 1: it out a little bit, and as soon as they do,
Speaker 1: they realize they're addicted, not like the first person was.
Speaker 1: That's a problem, and you just cause your brother to stumble.
Speaker 1: So I hope when you hear these things, I hope,
Speaker 1: I hope you can come to it a conclusion. You're
Speaker 1: like I said at the beginning, where I don't necessarily
Speaker 1: want to give you an answer as much as I
Speaker 1: want to help you think through things, and then when
Speaker 1: you think of all that and you go, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: probably not worth it, right, It's probably not worth it.
Speaker 1: I personally have played music in so many casinos in
Speaker 1: my life, so many I could never count how many
Speaker 1: casinos I've been and how many places in the world
Speaker 1: I've been in some kind of casino atmosphere. I have zero,
Speaker 1: zero desire at all to gamble. I just don't. I
Speaker 1: don't like it if I lose twenty dollars at a
Speaker 1: blackjack table, I instantly think about what that twenty dollars
Speaker 1: could have bought, Like man, that could have been half
Speaker 1: of a really, really nice stake, and in my mind
Speaker 1: I can't get over that. I know that there are
Speaker 1: definitely people that do it purely out of entertainment, and
Speaker 1: to those people, I say, Okay, consider the things that
Speaker 1: I've said here on this podcast, and to the original email,
Speaker 1: I say, hey, Madison, let's make sure that you're prepared
Speaker 1: to be judged on the same Measure'll move on. I
Speaker 1: wish y'all could have seen the very first grangersmith dot com.
Speaker 1: It was like two thousand and one, two thousand and two.
Speaker 1: I remember it said grangersmith dot com. You go there.
Speaker 1: It has like a little Texas flag, like blowing in
Speaker 1: the wind, but it was like real, real bad quality,
Speaker 1: and it had like my tour dates and a couple
Speaker 1: other things. I definitely didn't sell anything. I didn't sell
Speaker 1: a T shirt or a hat. That didn't come till
Speaker 1: about two thousand and five. And my brother Tyler helped
Speaker 1: me with that. He's been with me every since as
Speaker 1: my manager, and we started selling. We noticed quickly that
Speaker 1: selling is pretty hard online because you know, you got
Speaker 1: to have a little icon where they click the credit
Speaker 1: card thing, and then you got to figure out a
Speaker 1: back end way that they could get their credit card charged.
Speaker 1: And we just eventually we just gave it all to Shopify.
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of businesses do the same.
Speaker 1: We are better because it's so easy to sell things
Speaker 1: with Shopify. Now, what is Shopify. It's a global commerce
Speaker 1: platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business.
Speaker 1: Whether you're just launching your website with the Texas flag
Speaker 1: or you're doing a lot of big numbers. Shopify is
Speaker 1: there to help you grow. It doesn't matter what you're selling,
Speaker 1: whatever widget or ee apparel. Shopify helps you sell everywhere,
Speaker 1: from their all in one e commerce platform to their
Speaker 1: in person pos system. Wherever or whatever you're selling, Shopify
Speaker 1: has got you covered, and they helped turn browsers into
Speaker 1: buyers with their internet's best converting checkout that's thirty six
Speaker 1: percent better on average compared to other leading commerce platforms.
Speaker 1: You could also sell more with less effort thanks to
Speaker 1: shopify Magic, your AI powered all star. Hey, true story.
Speaker 1: I remember one time we got away from Shopify to
Speaker 1: go with a local commerce platform, and I mean it
Speaker 1: was horrible. We lost a lot of numbers, we lost
Speaker 1: a lot of fans that were impatient with the checkout system,
Speaker 1: and then we went back to Shopify. Hey, if you've
Speaker 1: got a small business or a large business, join us
Speaker 1: like ten percent of all e commerce platforms in the
Speaker 1: whole US and go to Shopify. Also one hundred and
Speaker 1: seventy five countries around the world. That's because businesses a
Speaker 1: around the world use Shopify. If you've got a business
Speaker 1: large or small, and you sell things on a website,
Speaker 1: listen sign up for a one dollar per month trial
Speaker 1: period at shopify dot com. Slash Granger all lowercase, go
Speaker 1: to shopify dot com slash granger right now to grow
Speaker 1: your business no matter what stage you're in shopify dot
Speaker 1: com slash granger. Hey, if you want to get a
Speaker 1: hold of me, go to cameo dot com slash granger Smith.
Speaker 1: You will find me there and from there I could
Speaker 1: build you a video message. I get your notes and
Speaker 1: what you want me to say, like happy birthday, happy anniversary,
Speaker 1: a word of encouragement, congratulations, good job on the graduation,
Speaker 1: or why did you not make graduation? Whatever you want
Speaker 1: me to say. I'll read those notes and I pull
Speaker 1: out my phone and I record a video message and
Speaker 1: I say whatever you need me to say to whoever
Speaker 1: you need me to say it too, and I send
Speaker 1: it right back to you. It's super simple. It's a
Speaker 1: great gift for the person that you don't know what
Speaker 1: to buy for. Again, go to Cameo c am eo
Speaker 1: dot com slash grangers. Next question comes from Jacob once again.
Speaker 1: Jacob emailed podcast at grangersmith dot com and you can too.
Speaker 1: Jacob says, Hey, my name is Jacob. I've got a
Speaker 1: brief backstory. I met my wife in high school and
Speaker 1: we started dating after graduation, and then I shipped off
Speaker 1: to the Air Force BMT. Two months later. We spent
Speaker 1: four months four years excuse me long distance. After that,
Speaker 1: I was stationed in Georgia while she was back home
Speaker 1: in Ohio going to college, and once she graduated, she
Speaker 1: moved down with me. We're currently living in Virginia. We
Speaker 1: have a one year old son together, and we are
Speaker 1: constantly fighting. I know I'm not perfect. I make mistakes,
Speaker 1: but every time I make a mistake, she jumps to
Speaker 1: yelling and screaming at me. I get so defensive and
Speaker 1: it just rises from there. I start to see this
Speaker 1: marriage not working out. But I know that the Bible
Speaker 1: says that divorce is only okay if there's been cheating involved.
Speaker 1: I'm just losing hope in this relationship, and she is too.
Speaker 1: We're tired of fighting and we don't want our son
Speaker 1: in the middle of it. Any advice prayers would be amazing.
Speaker 1: Thanks yee, Jacob, Jacob, I'm so sorry, brother. I hate
Speaker 1: to see this for you, and I know this is
Speaker 1: this is a tough spot. I'm gonna I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: some math here. Four years Let's see you date. You
Speaker 1: dated in high school four years long distance? Did you
Speaker 1: say when you get married. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think I'm guessing. We're talking about five years marriage
Speaker 1: here and a one year old son together, constantly fighting.
Speaker 1: What I want to talk about here? I could get
Speaker 1: into the to the nitty gritty really of a relationship,
Speaker 1: and I have before on this podcast, and I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's what you're looking for. I think
Speaker 1: you're asking me, Hey, is it okay if I just
Speaker 1: divorce this woman? I think that's basically what you're saying.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't see that there's a like a
Speaker 1: a need or desire to reconcile the relationship. I think
Speaker 1: you're more or less you're just like, hey, we fight.
Speaker 1: I'm tired of it. She's tired of it. I don't
Speaker 1: want my son seeing this. I want out. But I
Speaker 1: have one problem, Granger. The Bible says that it's not
Speaker 1: good to get a divorce. So what am I going
Speaker 1: to do? I'm losing hope here. In fact, it sounds
Speaker 1: like Jacob, it sounds like you're saying, if it wasn't
Speaker 1: for the Bible, I'd just be out. It's what everyone
Speaker 1: else does, right, so the whole world does. It seems
Speaker 1: like so what I want to do, Jacob, I think
Speaker 1: this is so important. Instead of instead of me getting
Speaker 1: into the nitty gritty of your relationship, because honestly, I
Speaker 1: just don't know that much about it. Besides, you make
Speaker 1: mistakes and she jumps you. I don't know. I want
Speaker 1: to talk about what it means about being a Christian
Speaker 1: and dealing with divorce. I think this is so often
Speaker 1: misunderstood and not talked about, but really, traditionally, this is
Speaker 1: how it should be, and this is how it has been,
Speaker 1: and this is what I want you to think about.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming. I'm just assuming, forgive me if I'm wrong.
Speaker 1: I'm assuming you're not in a meaningful relationship with the church,
Speaker 1: a good, healthy church that has a proportionate amount of
Speaker 1: pastors to the amount of congregates or members or people
Speaker 1: that attend, so that if there were problems in the congregation,
Speaker 1: there is a personal relationship with one of the pastors,
Speaker 1: so that you could work through it. And you probably
Speaker 1: know where I'm going with this. My point is it's
Speaker 1: it's an amazing thought, and it's biblical, and it's true.
Speaker 1: No Christian should deal with divorce alone. And better said,
Speaker 1: and more, this punches the gut a little bit more.
Speaker 1: To a Christian, divorce is not a private matter. It's crazy, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, that's what we're called to do. And for
Speaker 1: some reason in our culture, in today's age, divorce, family
Speaker 1: problems have become a private matter, something that we just
Speaker 1: keep behind closed doors, and it festers and it gets worse.
Speaker 1: Shut the windows, shut the doors, put the kid in
Speaker 1: his room, shut his door, and let's fight it out.
Speaker 1: And then one day the couple emerges into the community
Speaker 1: and says, we're separated, we're now getting a divorce, and
Speaker 1: in the community goes, oh, so sorry, yeah, we're you know,
Speaker 1: we've already followed the papers. That's what that's what we say.
Speaker 1: That's not the way it's supposed to be for Christians.
Speaker 1: And it stings a little bit right when I say
Speaker 1: that for a Christian, divorce is not a private matter. Instead,
Speaker 1: it is a community matter. It should be done in
Speaker 1: the community of the church, so that you don't have
Speaker 1: to email a podcast and ask about it. You don't
Speaker 1: have to email stranger, this former country singer that has
Speaker 1: the podcast and ask him advice. You don't even know him,
Speaker 1: He didn't know you, and he didn't know your situation
Speaker 1: and you don't have to think about it. Instead, it's
Speaker 1: done in the community of the church itself. And today
Speaker 1: in this age, we hear that, we go, oh, that's
Speaker 1: nobody's business, this is my private issue, but it's not.
Speaker 1: You marry in front of the community, right, and everyone
Speaker 1: affirms you, in front of your family and your friends,
Speaker 1: and you stand up there and you make your vows
Speaker 1: under God with the preacher, and you say it in
Speaker 1: front of everyone around, so that they could all attest
Speaker 1: and they could affirm your marriage and your love for
Speaker 1: each other. And they say by being there, by being
Speaker 1: in attendance of the wedding, they say, we will walk
Speaker 1: forward through sickness and in health, through happiness, through sadness,
Speaker 1: through grief. We will be there with you because all
Speaker 1: that stuff is coming, because you're a human on planet Earth,
Speaker 1: all that stuff is coming, and we will walk with
Speaker 1: you as a community through that. But then somehow we've
Speaker 1: lost that idea. Later in the marriage, five years in
Speaker 1: you have problems and you close all the doors in
Speaker 1: the windows, and it becomes a private matter in the community.
Speaker 1: The church is no longer in it at all, until
Speaker 1: you emerge and you tell everybody. Then we've decided to
Speaker 1: get a divorce, and collectively, people don't say it, but
Speaker 1: they think, why didn't you, Why didn't you open up
Speaker 1: to us? Why couldn't we have walked you through this?
Speaker 1: Why couldn't we have been the ones to say no,
Speaker 1: it's not time for that. We're gonna help you fight through.
Speaker 1: We're gonna walk through this with you. And here's we're
Speaker 1: gonna help you this way. We're gonna help you this way,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna tell her to stop that. We're gonna
Speaker 1: tell you to stop it, and we're gonna tell her
Speaker 1: to keep doing that. We're gonna tell you to keep
Speaker 1: doing that. But collectively, as a tribe, as a family,
Speaker 1: as a unit, as a community, as a church, which
Speaker 1: literally in its word means gathering, we come together and
Speaker 1: we walk this with you. And then when I start slipping,
Speaker 1: I want you to walk with me and my wife.
Speaker 1: And then when there's somethings happened, when your boy, we
Speaker 1: want to step in. We want to help raise your
Speaker 1: boy with you, and something's happening weird with your girl.
Speaker 1: We want to step in as a community as a
Speaker 1: church and help you collectively raise this girl. Because we
Speaker 1: have women and old ladies that could help pour into
Speaker 1: your wife as she's wondering how to be a good
Speaker 1: mother to a daughter. And we have men and all
Speaker 1: men and grandpa's that could help you so you don't
Speaker 1: have to be alone and learning how to raise a boy.
Speaker 1: This is how it's always been done in human culture
Speaker 1: until now. It's everything's private. It's a private matter. Don't
Speaker 1: tell anyone. Hush hush, sweep it under the rug. That's
Speaker 1: not the way it should be. It's not the way
Speaker 1: God designed it to be. Didn't design marriage to be private,
Speaker 1: which is why we do the ceremony of marriage in public.
Speaker 1: So I want to encourage you to think more in
Speaker 1: that way that your problems, your marriage problems, your divorce pending,
Speaker 1: it's not private. Open it up to the church. Open
Speaker 1: it up starting with your pastor get people to pray
Speaker 1: for you. Get other couples to tell you how they
Speaker 1: made it through times that were tough, so that you
Speaker 1: could have an older couple that goes, yeah, I remember
Speaker 1: those days. I remember the one year old at home,
Speaker 1: I remember the father that travels, I remember the wife
Speaker 1: grumbling about it. And this is this is what we did.
Speaker 1: We had the same problem guys, and this is what
Speaker 1: we did to walk through it. How could we help
Speaker 1: you walk through it as well? Because going through that
Speaker 1: divorce is not going to fix anything. You know that right,
Speaker 1: look around at culture. Going through the divorce itself. It's
Speaker 1: not gonna fix your own problems. The fact it just
Speaker 1: perpetuates the cycle. You get into another relationship and it
Speaker 1: happens again. You think at first, oh, this is great,
Speaker 1: it feels good. Everything's right now. I finally found the
Speaker 1: right one. It's all I needed was to put the
Speaker 1: right puzzle piece in. And then you realize quickly, yeah,
Speaker 1: the same problems start coming up because you're still you
Speaker 1: I don't you don't. You don't have to take my
Speaker 1: word for it. You just got to look around and see,
Speaker 1: this is what happens in life, this is this is
Speaker 1: what we do. So that's my advice. I'm not digging
Speaker 1: into the problems that you're having. I'm just saying, bring
Speaker 1: it to the church, bring it to your pastor walk
Speaker 1: through sit there and say what can we do to
Speaker 1: reconcile this. All I want to do is fix this.
Speaker 1: It's the best thing for your son, and it's the
Speaker 1: best thing for you. And listen, I'm not saying what
Speaker 1: I'm not saying. Don't hear me saying, stay together, no
Speaker 1: matter what it all costs, stay with this woman. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that. I'm saying. The decision whether or not
Speaker 1: you should or you shouldn't doesn't have to be all
Speaker 1: left to yourself. It could be done in community, just
Speaker 1: like it was done in the wedding ceremony itself. Next
Speaker 1: question comes from Ben, says he Grendarm. My name is Ben.
Speaker 1: I'm a dad to a five month old boy who
Speaker 1: means everything to me, and a husband to a wonderful wife.
Speaker 1: I was raised in the Southern Baptist Church, where my
Speaker 1: dad has been the preacher my whole life. My wife
Speaker 1: was raised Church of Christ and feels firmly about her
Speaker 1: Church of Christ. Since we've been married, we've attended the
Speaker 1: Curch Church of Christ because that's where she wanted to go.
Speaker 1: But I still feel don't feel totally comfortable as to
Speaker 1: know what side I'm on, and frankly, I don't feel
Speaker 1: like I should be on a side. I just want
Speaker 1: to honor God with my life and follow him. But
Speaker 1: this has caused some heartache in our home, trying to
Speaker 1: decide where we will raise our son and future kids
Speaker 1: at church. Any advice for navigating this decision? Things? All, right, Ben,
Speaker 1: interesting right back to back questions. It's interesting First of
Speaker 1: all to people outside of this question. I will say
Speaker 1: that having the conversation about how how you'll raise your
Speaker 1: kids and what kind of church you'll go to, things
Speaker 1: like that, those are important things to work out before
Speaker 1: you get married, because in it it's a lot more difficult.
Speaker 1: Outside of it, you could work it out and you
Speaker 1: could go, hey, I don't think we could make this work,
Speaker 1: and this might be the end of our relationship because
Speaker 1: of it. Right, So just work it out before. But
Speaker 1: when you're in it like you are been, you can't
Speaker 1: help that. Now. My first thought is for context, I
Speaker 1: am a Southern Baptist seminarian and my mother's family is
Speaker 1: all Church of Christ. So I in some way I
Speaker 1: have empathy for the situation. I understand, I at least
Speaker 1: understand it to some degree. Not I don't understand your life,
Speaker 1: but I understand the dynamic of Church of Christ and
Speaker 1: Baptist Church Southern Baptist. So as we as we dive
Speaker 1: into this, I want to say, first and foremost, you
Speaker 1: are called biblically to be the spiritual leader of your household.
Speaker 1: This is not in some dominating, dominating way, This is
Speaker 1: not in some oppressive way. But you are called from
Speaker 1: the Bible to lead the family spiritually. And when you don't,
Speaker 1: when you don't step into what you were called to
Speaker 1: do as a man, problems happen. And so then you
Speaker 1: come to the podcast and you say, look, I have
Speaker 1: a problem, and I want to make sure and that's okay,
Speaker 1: and we'll talk through it, but I want to make
Speaker 1: sure before I get into it. I want to make
Speaker 1: sure I'm showing you where the problem came from. Like
Speaker 1: here it is Ben, Look this, I want you to
Speaker 1: make sure you know where the source of the problem is.
Speaker 1: The source of the problem. Is you not stepping into
Speaker 1: the spiritual leader of the household that the Bible has
Speaker 1: called you, not granger, not someone on YouTube, but what
Speaker 1: God has called you to step into as a man,
Speaker 1: as the spiritual leader of your house saying this is
Speaker 1: where we're going to go to church, this is how
Speaker 1: we're gonna pray, this is how we're gonna worship. And
Speaker 1: we've already gone down a road here that it feels
Speaker 1: like that's in serious jeopardy, So here we are. I
Speaker 1: also want to point out second thing I want to say.
Speaker 1: And I hear this all the time. It's not your fault,
Speaker 1: but the idea of I don't want to pick a side.
Speaker 1: I just want to honor God and mote with my
Speaker 1: life and follow him. That sounds so beautiful, Ben, I'm
Speaker 1: so glad that that's how you feel. And I feel
Speaker 1: the same way. But when we start getting into the
Speaker 1: practical outworking of that, I have to say, well, okay, Ben,
Speaker 1: well what does baptism look like? And you say it
Speaker 1: looks like this granger? And I say, well, what is
Speaker 1: taking the Lord's Supper look like? And you say it
Speaker 1: looks like this? And I say what does a band
Speaker 1: in a church look like? And you say this? And
Speaker 1: I say what does salvation look like? According to you?
Speaker 1: And you say like this. And by the time we
Speaker 1: answer ten or twelve questions, you're in a denomination, you know,
Speaker 1: And so you have to understand that, as much as
Speaker 1: it sounds amazing to just I don't want to pick
Speaker 1: a denomination. That's what you're saying when you say side,
Speaker 1: I don't want to pick a denomination. I just want
Speaker 1: to follow God. And honor him with my life. I say, wonderful,
Speaker 1: that's amazing. But everyone has certain things that have a
Speaker 1: proclivity of being in a denomination. If you say I
Speaker 1: don't ever want drums in church, I don't think drums
Speaker 1: belong in church, then you've identified something in your personality
Speaker 1: that's leaning somewhere. If you say baptism should be total immersion,
Speaker 1: or if you say baptism should be sprinkling babies, you've identified,
Speaker 1: either way some aspect of a denomination of people that
Speaker 1: you agree with. Now, let me say that there are
Speaker 1: four core fundamental elements pillars that you have to agree with.
Speaker 1: No matter what denomination you believe, you have to believe
Speaker 1: four core things. Number one, you have to believe that
Speaker 1: God exists as one being and three persons one mind,
Speaker 1: three beings, excuse me be three persons, one being, Father, Son,
Speaker 1: Holy Spirit. That is the doctrine of the trinity. That
Speaker 1: is something we see throughout all sixty six books of
Speaker 1: the Bible. Over and over we see God has revealed
Speaker 1: himself in three persons, one being three different roles, Jesus
Speaker 1: and John seventeen is praying to the Father. He is
Speaker 1: in a submitted submissive role to the Father. Jesus is,
Speaker 1: and Jesus is not the Father, and the Father is
Speaker 1: not the Son, and the Spirit is not either of them.
Speaker 1: But all three of them have the same essence. They
Speaker 1: are the same being. And we see this played out
Speaker 1: in many different ways. In the beginning was the Word,
Speaker 1: and the word was with God, and the word was God.
Speaker 1: He was in the beginning with God, so we see.
Speaker 1: And then a few verses later and the Word became flesh.
Speaker 1: We see this played out in so many ways in
Speaker 1: the Bible. We have to understand that the trinity is
Speaker 1: something we do not ever doubt or disagree with, or
Speaker 1: you are not a Christian. Number two, Jesus is fully man,
Speaker 1: fully God, fully man, full divinity, fully human. We have
Speaker 1: to understand the aspect of Jesus in his personhood was
Speaker 1: fully man and fully God. Number three, we have to
Speaker 1: we have to agree that you're saved in salvation. You're
Speaker 1: saved by grace through faith, not by works. That is fundamental.
Speaker 1: You're saved by grace and not by works. Ephesians two
Speaker 1: eight is going to say, for it's by grace. You've
Speaker 1: been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing.
Speaker 1: It's the gift of God, not a result of works,
Speaker 1: so that no man may boast if you disagree with
Speaker 1: that it in any way. If you think that, well
Speaker 1: it it also has to do with what you do
Speaker 1: to get into heaven, then you're not a Christian. And then, finally,
Speaker 1: and this doesn't have to be in any kind of order, Finally,
Speaker 1: you have to believe in the inerrancy of the Bible,
Speaker 1: and the Bible alone. The Bible is God breathed, all scriptures,
Speaker 1: breed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof,
Speaker 1: for correction, and for training and righteousness, that the Man
Speaker 1: of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
Speaker 1: The Bible is perfectly inspired by the Holy Spirit. It
Speaker 1: is God's word, and it is complete, and it's cannon
Speaker 1: that was passed down to us saw sixty six books.
Speaker 1: Those are the four main pillars. If you disagree with
Speaker 1: any of the four, you're not a Christian. And so
Speaker 1: whenever we branch off from denominations, we have to understand
Speaker 1: that it's okay to disagree about drums and church. So
Speaker 1: it's okay to disagree about pews or chairs. It's okay,
Speaker 1: although kind of frightening to disagree about worshiping on Saturday
Speaker 1: or Sunday, heavily lean on Sunday. And there's a lot
Speaker 1: of things that would heavily lean on. You know, it's
Speaker 1: okay to disagree about baptism, sprinkling or total immersion. But
Speaker 1: even though I totally would lean into total submersion. But
Speaker 1: but that doesn't jeopardize your faith as a Christian. It's
Speaker 1: it's within let me say it this way, it's within
Speaker 1: the bounds. It's within the boundaries of being a Christian.
Speaker 1: You could there is room to disagree with a lot
Speaker 1: of things, a lot of things, but the four pillars
Speaker 1: you cannot, I'll say more time. The Trinity, the full
Speaker 1: humanity and divinity of Christ, the innerancy of Scripture, the
Speaker 1: Bible being the only revealed word of God and the
Speaker 1: only way we know truly how God has revealed himself
Speaker 1: to us, not through prophets, not through modern revelation, but
Speaker 1: only through the Word. And then lastly, salvation is from
Speaker 1: grace by faith alone in Christ. Knowing that, brother, I
Speaker 1: hurt for you that it's gone this far as you
Speaker 1: have literally this is this is what's happened. You've submitted
Speaker 1: to your wife to make her happy. You said, I
Speaker 1: did it to make her feel comfortable. I submitted to
Speaker 1: her authority to make her comfy. And now you're going,
Speaker 1: uh oh, I think I'm messed up. So let's let
Speaker 1: that be known. That's where the problem originated from. And
Speaker 1: I promise you if it's the other way around, if
Speaker 1: it's done biblically, she's so much happier. She's actually way
Speaker 1: more comfortable when you step into the role that you're
Speaker 1: called to be, and it allows her to step into
Speaker 1: the role that she has been called to be, and
Speaker 1: then both of you are just so much more comfortable.
Speaker 1: We see this played out all around us all the time.
Speaker 1: So I think I could leave it there, and I
Speaker 1: think I could say, brother, I wish you the best.
Speaker 1: And I also would say this, let me finish with this,
Speaker 1: and probably shouldn't say it, but I'll say it because
Speaker 1: I have experienced a lot of experience with Church of
Speaker 1: Christ with my family. But they will say that they
Speaker 1: are the only church. I've heard Pentecostals say this as well.
Speaker 1: Of course Catholics say it, Church LDS says it. But
Speaker 1: if you hear people start saying things like this is
Speaker 1: the only church you go to, any other church, it's
Speaker 1: the wrong church. Everyone else is going to hell, but
Speaker 1: this church. If you hear that, that becomes weird. Remember
Speaker 1: the four pillars. I told you the four pillars are
Speaker 1: what's going to matter and anything else. If you start
Speaker 1: hearing this is the only church, I start worrying about that.
Speaker 1: And the Church of Christ says that than Baptist Church
Speaker 1: does not ever say that. There was no way any
Speaker 1: of us should be so arrogant to say that we
Speaker 1: have the only right church as long as you're following
Speaker 1: the four pillars, Trinity, divinity, humanity of Christ, an erranty
Speaker 1: of Scripture, and salvation through faith by grace in Christ alone. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well in there, Love you guys. If you have a question,
Speaker 1: email podcast at grangersmith dot com. And I have a
Speaker 1: lot more I could have gotten to today, but I think
Speaker 1: I hold it. I'll hold it right there and we'll
Speaker 1: see y'all next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the
Speaker 1: Grangersmith podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could
Speaker 1: help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If
Speaker 1: you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that little
Speaker 1: like button and notification spell so that you never miss
Speaker 1: anytime I upload a video, Yigi