1 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,520 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another new episode of 2 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 1: Unique Therapy Podcast. My name is Kat and I am 3 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: the host here. I'm a therapist that lives in Nashville. 4 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: For most of you, guys, you've either assumed or you 5 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,960 Speaker 1: know that I'm a therapist. But quick little reminder before 6 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,639 Speaker 1: we get started today that even though I am that 7 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: I am not giving you therapy via a podcast. In 8 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: this podcast does not serve as therapy. It can be 9 00:00:34,040 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: helpful though. Also side note, Wednesday will be our two 10 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,199 Speaker 1: years so that's very exciting as we're heading into a 11 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,199 Speaker 1: new year. We get to celebrate the fact that this 12 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,840 Speaker 1: thing has been around for two freaking years. Who would 13 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,920 Speaker 1: have thought. I hoped, but I don't know if I 14 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,880 Speaker 1: thought that I'd still be doing it two years later. 15 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: So normally at the end of a year, in the 16 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 1: beginning of a new year, what happens is we reflect 17 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: or we look forward, and we make goals and tensions, 18 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 1: all those things New Year's resolutions, And what I'm not 19 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,640 Speaker 1: going to do is an episode on New Year's resolutions. 20 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: But I do have something to talk about regarding that 21 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 1: idea with you guys. So today it's just me. If 22 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,040 Speaker 1: you haven't figured that out yet. Talking to you guys 23 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:17,080 Speaker 1: about what happens when we look back on where we 24 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 1: are and think about where we want to go. I 25 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 1: really want to talk about what happens when we see 26 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: something that we want. We see something that we want, 27 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,280 Speaker 1: and we also think it's possible to have, or to create, 28 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: or to go move towards. And before I say anything else, 29 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 1: I want everybody to know that I think goals are awesome, 30 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: and they're pretty imperative. We need them. I think they're 31 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,760 Speaker 1: very helpful. I think New Year's resolutions can be awesome. 32 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: I think that it's perfectly okay to think about what 33 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: you want to be different in the year ahead of you. 34 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 1: I think that is very helpful for us to have 35 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,280 Speaker 1: some idea of what we want in our lives. We 36 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 1: can see what we want to put energy into, and therefore, 37 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,400 Speaker 1: if we are seeing that, then we have more of 38 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,840 Speaker 1: a chance to actually put energy into it, and then 39 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: more of a chance to actually have that thing. There's 40 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that at all. What can happen, though, 41 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,520 Speaker 1: and what I'm not a fan of, is when we 42 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 1: start to want something bad enough, we sometimes walk ourselves 43 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: into this thing called scarcity. Mindset. We don't always do this, 44 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: but sometimes we do, and it's worth paying attention to 45 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: and talking about before we go and do it in January. 46 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 1: And if you're already living in this, that's okay. We 47 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: can walk you out of it by just paying attention 48 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 1: to it as well. And if you're like what scarcity 49 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,639 Speaker 1: mindset simple? A scarcity mindset is just living with the 50 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: mentality that there isn't enough. And this can be like anything. 51 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:39,399 Speaker 1: It can be time, money, energy, people, jobs, food, empathy, 52 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 1: like it can be anything. And what happens when we 53 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 1: are living in this is we make decisions that we 54 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: wouldn't probably normally make. So scarcity mindset can change the 55 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,959 Speaker 1: way you make choices. And for me, I know I've 56 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:54,919 Speaker 1: been in scarcity mindset in my past and sometimes more 57 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 1: more currently when I'm making choices not based on actually 58 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 1: what I want and need in it, but it feels 59 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,519 Speaker 1: like it's like I don't have a choice. I'm making choices, 60 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: but I feel like I don't have a choice. So 61 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: in the past, when I started my practice, I would 62 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: always say yes to clients and schedule them even when 63 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,640 Speaker 1: it really actually didn't work with my schedule, and I 64 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 1: was like overbooking myself. Not like two clients in one hour, 65 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: although I have done that accidentally before, but like scheduling 66 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 1: too many clients in a day or something, or working 67 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 1: too late or too early because if I don't see 68 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,679 Speaker 1: them then like I won't have a chance to see 69 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,359 Speaker 1: them ever again, or they're gonna leave, or something like that. 70 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: If I don't go on this date this week, then 71 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 1: I will never get asked one another one. That's not true, 72 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 1: but sometimes we think that I have to buy this now, 73 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 1: or I need to buy five of them because maybe 74 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: they're gonna be gone when I need them. I have 75 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: to take this phone call right now, even though I 76 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: have things that I need to do, because if I 77 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 1: don't talk to them right now, then I'll never get 78 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 1: a chance to talk to them again. So those are 79 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: just like some examples that obviously isn't cover at all. 80 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: But basically it's like this idea that I have to 81 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: do it all. I have to have it all, I 82 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: have to find it all, I have to get it 83 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,720 Speaker 1: all right now because I'm afraid if I don't take 84 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,160 Speaker 1: this now, I'm gonna lack something I want later. And 85 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: what scarcity does is that orients your mind towards unfulfilled 86 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: needs and desires. It also doesn't allow you to appropriately 87 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: plan for the future. And I think about our brains 88 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: is they're very cool. We know this, and at the 89 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 1: same time they are limited. And if a large part 90 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,239 Speaker 1: of our attention is kind of put towards one issue 91 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 1: or one thing, that same attention can't be like multiplied 92 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: and put towards something else. It's used on that And 93 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:31,720 Speaker 1: scarcity isn't always bad when it comes to survival. This 94 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: is something that can help keep us alive. So our 95 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:38,160 Speaker 1: mind is orienting on food or shelter or something like 96 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:41,040 Speaker 1: that when when those resources really are scarce, and then 97 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: our attentions put on that and then we make sure 98 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,360 Speaker 1: we survive. Like that's a good thing that helps keep 99 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,159 Speaker 1: people moving and going and breathing. Also, if we're talking 100 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: about time being scarce, this can be helpful in the 101 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:56,359 Speaker 1: sense that, um, we recognize that, um, we have deadlines 102 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 1: and we don't have enough. We don't have an infinite 103 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: amount of time to finish this project, so we put 104 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 1: our attention towards it, so we do it. That's awesome. 105 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: The issue with scarcity mindset is when you live in it, 106 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: when the resources may not actually be scarce. When that happens, 107 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:17,120 Speaker 1: those unfulfilled desires overtake like everything, they overtake logic, morality, patients, 108 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 1: our peace of mind. I could go on. People with 109 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: scarcity mindset have this zero sum view of the world. 110 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 1: So whatever is gained by one person's lost by another. 111 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 1: There's not enough for everybody. If life is a pie, 112 00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,719 Speaker 1: there's only like a certain amount of everything to go around. 113 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 1: And because of this scarcy mindset can also set our 114 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 1: pace at a very high level. Like I said before, 115 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 1: I have to do this now, and I have to 116 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 1: do it fast before it's too late. We get put 117 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,359 Speaker 1: in this rush and offers us like a lot of 118 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,479 Speaker 1: anxiety because we're operating from fear. And then, like I said, 119 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: we feel rushed. Then we rushed. Then a lot of 120 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,040 Speaker 1: things happen. And when I was working in a residential 121 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 1: treatment center, a lot of times what would happen with 122 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 1: clients as they would come in, most of them not 123 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 1: wanting to be there there, some of them did often 124 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 1: they did not want to be there, and eventually a 125 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 1: lot of them did actually settle into where they were 126 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 1: and started to grab onto the ideas that that they 127 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:12,119 Speaker 1: were learning and really digging into their stuff, and they 128 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 1: were getting more out of it than I think they 129 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: had imagined they ever could. And then they would get 130 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 1: really excited. They'd get excited to go out and live 131 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:20,719 Speaker 1: their lives in a new way and they would do 132 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,479 Speaker 1: all this good work, and then they'd want to just 133 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,719 Speaker 1: jump out of treatment and run straight into the life 134 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:27,599 Speaker 1: that they like now are imagining that this perfect new 135 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 1: whatever life, and they would want things like, oh, I'm 136 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 1: gonna go find a new healthy relationship where I'm gonna 137 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 1: go be the dad always wanted to be, or I'm 138 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: gonna go get this job or this career. I'm gonna 139 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 1: go right back into school, I'm going to buy a house, 140 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do all these things. I'm gonna move to 141 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 1: a new city that I've always wanted to move to. 142 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 1: And they don't want to do all these exciting, awesome things, 143 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: but they would have to do it, like right away. 144 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 1: Time was becoming scarce, right, so, all of a sudden, 145 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,840 Speaker 1: time was of the essence. And the truth is time 146 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:58,279 Speaker 1: is limited. So it's not like time is a resource 147 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,159 Speaker 1: that we will never run out of. We will, But 148 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,240 Speaker 1: when we operate from a scarcity mindset around time. We 149 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 1: often end up losing time, and I'm gonna explain that. 150 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,279 Speaker 1: I would say over and over and over to clients, 151 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: and I still say it to them now. The dynamic 152 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,679 Speaker 1: of what I was doing in the treatment center offered 153 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: more opportunity for this to be necessary to talk about. 154 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:18,560 Speaker 1: They would say, over and over and over again, slow 155 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: equals fast, and I would either get rolling eyes or 156 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: I would get like a huh, what does that even mean? 157 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,520 Speaker 1: Into the rolling eyes. I would laugh and say like 158 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 1: I know, like I know, this is annoying. And what 159 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 1: would be more annoying was if you ended it back 160 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,800 Speaker 1: in my office four months from now, like right back 161 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 1: at square one. That would be more annoying than taking 162 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 1: your time and the ones that we're confused, I would say, 163 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,520 Speaker 1: think about the stories that we've been told since we 164 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: were kids, over and over again, like slow and steady 165 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: wins the race. Now life isn't a race, but when 166 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 1: it comes to your life, when we rush, we usually 167 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:54,200 Speaker 1: have to start over or we miss things and we 168 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 1: have to take a pause and stop, and then it 169 00:07:56,960 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: ends up being more time than we even like I'm 170 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: agin in the first place, if we would have just 171 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 1: taken our time when we rush, we miss a lot 172 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:08,000 Speaker 1: too because we're just focused on that rush and we're 173 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:12,200 Speaker 1: not fully invested in our lives. Now. If we focus 174 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,400 Speaker 1: where our feet are, like literally the step we're on, 175 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: life's never gonna be too much for us. If we 176 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: focus on the steps that we are currently taking, the 177 00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 1: step I am currently taking, life really will never be 178 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,240 Speaker 1: too much because all you have to do is that step. 179 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 1: But if we're focusing one of the time on the 180 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 1: finish line right on these things that we are like, oh, 181 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: we want these things out, then we end up forgetting 182 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: to look down. We don't focus on the step we're on, 183 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: we end up tripping, we end up falling, and will 184 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: take us way longer to get there. And something that 185 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,959 Speaker 1: I've recently learned, which I love this, I wish I 186 00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:44,680 Speaker 1: knew this back in the day. Something that recently learned 187 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: was that Navy seals often use this um phrase slow 188 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: as smooth, smooth is fast, which proves my point beautifully 189 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: right because as slow as smooth and smooth is fast, 190 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: then slow equals fast. And I think they got this 191 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 1: idea from like practice seen slowly um so that like 192 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 1: the correct patterns are ingrained in their like muscle memory 193 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 1: as they're they're learning things, because when you push yourself 194 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 1: to perform faster, what happens is you mess up what 195 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,320 Speaker 1: you're doing and then you either like have to start 196 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,120 Speaker 1: all over or you have to go back a couple 197 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,560 Speaker 1: of steps. And it was taking you longer than it 198 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 1: would have taken if you just were slow and smooth. 199 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 1: I actually had a client that ended up getting Slowly 200 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 1: go Fast tattooed when she left treatment because it was 201 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,160 Speaker 1: so helpful to her. When we would, I would remind 202 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: her of this, and I thought that was so cool. 203 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 1: She was one of the people who had and I 204 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: hope has a real excitement to go out and really live. 205 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 1: And she did amazing work. Was just is and was 206 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 1: an awesome human being, and she was just so excited 207 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,120 Speaker 1: to live life once she realized that there was more 208 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: to life than what she was living in before. But 209 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 1: she still had work to do after she left treatment. 210 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: And I make up in my head is that once 211 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 1: she saw how capable she was of living a full life, 212 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 1: she just couldn't wait to get there. For a therapist 213 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,679 Speaker 1: or even a human seeing this person seeing her life 214 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 1: play out was really exciting. And I knew if she 215 00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 1: rushed into certain parts, she would end up back my 216 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 1: office pretty quick. So sometimes slow equals fast is taking 217 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,239 Speaker 1: the safe route and not the shiny, exciting route. Sometimes 218 00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: that's like aftercare for those who are in treatment. Um 219 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,520 Speaker 1: it's like taking a step down. It's going to a 220 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 1: PHP or IOP after treatment instead of just like jumping 221 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:30,320 Speaker 1: back into your life, into your full time job and 222 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,120 Speaker 1: all the things. I think. Sometimes we think, oh, ninety 223 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 1: days and did ninty days of treatment. It's time to 224 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,600 Speaker 1: go back to life as usual, and you might need 225 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,240 Speaker 1: time to ease into it. You might need to step 226 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,679 Speaker 1: down one run at a time instead just jumping off 227 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 1: the ladder. And for some of us, slow equals fast 228 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 1: equals like being the underdog for a while, allowing ourselves 229 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 1: to learn and be observers before we're the ones being observed. 230 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: And this is really hard when things like success seem limited, 231 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:00,680 Speaker 1: not just time but success, like there's only enough winning 232 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: and succeeding for a certain amount of people to win 233 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:08,440 Speaker 1: and succeed. I worked for a fitness studio a couple 234 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,920 Speaker 1: of years ago that really highlighted this. Especially after I left, 235 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,440 Speaker 1: I could see it more because I got sucked into 236 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 1: it to be very honest and rather than perfecting our 237 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 1: own product, there was so much time spent tearing apart 238 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 1: our competitors, like our competition when what was lost then 239 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: was all these precious moments where we could be sitting 240 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,720 Speaker 1: in our own experience and feeling what we're doing, and 241 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 1: being excited about what we're doing, and talking about what 242 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 1: we were doing. Like, we lost a lot of that 243 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: time because we were focused so much on like making 244 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,679 Speaker 1: sure the people around us like weren't doing something as 245 00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:42,280 Speaker 1: good as us, or convincing ourselves that they weren't doing 246 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,200 Speaker 1: something as good as us, when like, why can't we 247 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 1: both do something good at the same time. Now? The 248 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:54,320 Speaker 1: funny thing, or I don't know if it's funny, but 249 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 1: is when you live in a place where your competition 250 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 1: doing well doesn't steal your ability to also do well, 251 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,679 Speaker 1: you actually perform better. You really do. The pressure is 252 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,559 Speaker 1: kind of off, and you're less likely to try and 253 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,680 Speaker 1: do what they're doing better than them, and more likely 254 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: to do what you do well. And when you focus 255 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,040 Speaker 1: more on what you're doing and you practice more on 256 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 1: what you're doing, than you're actually getting better at what 257 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,199 Speaker 1: you're doing. Like that seems very simple but I think 258 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 1: a lot of times we do in our lives think 259 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,959 Speaker 1: that like only a certain amount of people can be successful. 260 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,720 Speaker 1: Like it's not even just like with work or stuff 261 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,000 Speaker 1: like that. It can be like they got a boyfriend, 262 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,040 Speaker 1: or they got a girlfriend, or they got married, or 263 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,319 Speaker 1: they had a baby, or they bought a house or 264 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:37,840 Speaker 1: they made this much money, and it's like we can't 265 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,880 Speaker 1: be excited for them and also still excited for ourselves 266 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,079 Speaker 1: because it feels like when they win and we're losing, 267 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 1: when there's still the ability for you to win, you 268 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: still have that ability. I've been staying the statement for 269 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: a long time, and it goes, you're created on purpose, 270 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,280 Speaker 1: for a purpose with purpose. I've been saying that for 271 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,839 Speaker 1: a couple of years now, but when I first heard it, 272 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,120 Speaker 1: it really annoyed me a lot, like I had to 273 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,959 Speaker 1: wrestle with it. It didn't seem fair a lot of times, 274 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 1: and I would often think stuff like I don't get 275 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 1: why I have to deal with this, And I felt 276 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 1: like I got like a shorthand of the stick. Is 277 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,600 Speaker 1: that even the phrase I got the shorthand? What is 278 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,680 Speaker 1: the phrase? I don't know. I felt like I drew 279 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:19,080 Speaker 1: the short straw something like that, but I got really 280 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 1: angry with God even because at times I felt like 281 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 1: if that was true, true disdain like anger towards his purpose. 282 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 1: For me, I saw other people's ones as my losses. 283 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,080 Speaker 1: There wasn't enough of what I wanted in the world 284 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 1: to go around, or maybe I just wasn't getting what 285 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: I wanted when I wanted it. So then I wanted 286 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:40,000 Speaker 1: to take shortcuts, right because I wanted to like make 287 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:41,959 Speaker 1: my life what I wanted my life to be as 288 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 1: soon as possible, because time is scarce, you gotta do 289 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,560 Speaker 1: it now. And this happens in relationships for a lot 290 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 1: of people, right, so, especially those who have a more insecure, 291 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: anxious attachment style. We want a relationship so bad, so 292 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,200 Speaker 1: then we jump into them, and then we skip steps 293 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,720 Speaker 1: because we want what we want, and then we overshare, 294 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 1: and then maybe we create these bonds over our trauma, 295 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,760 Speaker 1: and we think that we have this like super intimate relationship, 296 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:08,200 Speaker 1: but really we're just sharing a lot of information, and 297 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,719 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, the relationship ends and we're 298 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: back at square one, and we're really upset and sad, 299 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 1: and we're like, oh, we wait it all this time, 300 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,560 Speaker 1: because then we're thinking to ourselves. Did I even like him? 301 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,480 Speaker 1: Did I even like him? Or did I like the 302 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 1: idea that like, Oh I had somebody that was interested 303 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,520 Speaker 1: in me. Did I even like him? Or do I 304 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 1: feel like the choices around me are scarce? So I 305 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 1: just had to pick somebody. Yeah, for those of you 306 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 1: who are like, oh, it's me, Yeah, like that happens 307 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,520 Speaker 1: all the time. And I'm gonna say some cliche things here, 308 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: but it's okay because they're also true. Something that tends 309 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:43,760 Speaker 1: to be very difficult for a lot of people to 310 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,080 Speaker 1: really accept. It sounds nice, but it's hard to really 311 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,560 Speaker 1: accept it is that our lives are not about just 312 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 1: getting to destinations. They really are about living. Our lives 313 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,640 Speaker 1: are about this journey. It's not about the actual thing. 314 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,760 Speaker 1: It's about what happens on your way to get that thing. 315 00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 1: That's what the true essence of life is about. And 316 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: I all so like to put a little twist on 317 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 1: this and say, it's not so much about getting somewhere 318 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: or getting to that thing. It's about who we are 319 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: when we get there. It's about who we are when 320 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,479 Speaker 1: we get that thing. It's not about having a relationship, 321 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,880 Speaker 1: it's about the quality of that relationship. That's that's the 322 00:15:15,920 --> 00:15:19,320 Speaker 1: most important. But what that relationship is not just having 323 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,880 Speaker 1: one or not having one. And when we don't realize this, 324 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,160 Speaker 1: what we end up doing is we choose a path 325 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: of like dissociation from the truth. Because this idea you 326 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 1: were created for purpose on purpose with a purpose like 327 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: that is the truth that when we don't like like that, 328 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,240 Speaker 1: or when we don't realize that, like life really is 329 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,680 Speaker 1: about living it and not about like just getting somewhere, 330 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 1: we dissociate from that truth and then we end up 331 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:46,800 Speaker 1: bypassing a lot of roads that are crucial not just 332 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,640 Speaker 1: getting us to the thing, but getting us to that person. 333 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: And we do that in therapy. Like when we go 334 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 1: to therapy and we want to work on ourselves, we 335 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 1: orient towards our goals, right, we want to have X, 336 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 1: I want to do this, I want to have this 337 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 1: in my life, and we missed it. Like one of 338 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,480 Speaker 1: the most important parts about therapy is actually allowing yourself 339 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 1: to to become fully the person that you were created 340 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 1: to be. It's not just about like, oh, I'm gonna 341 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 1: get this thing or I'm gonna stop this having this thing. 342 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,040 Speaker 1: It's like, oh no, The important part is that you're 343 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 1: like becoming this person that like feels are really good 344 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:21,480 Speaker 1: to be. I hear over and over and over and 345 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 1: over again that the reasons someone doesn't want to leave 346 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:27,360 Speaker 1: a relationship is that they are afraid, and they're afraid 347 00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: that they won't find someone else. The idea of partners 348 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 1: are scarce. Like I was talking about before, there not 349 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,480 Speaker 1: enough fish in the sea, or maybe that there are 350 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,840 Speaker 1: a lot of fish in the sea, but not enough 351 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 1: that would want to date me or want to be 352 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: with me. Well, the more you choose someone from this 353 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 1: place and choose to stay with someone from this place, 354 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: the further you will be from a relationship that actually 355 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: feels kind and loving and good and so to that, 356 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 1: I would say, maybe we just need to take the 357 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 1: rush out of that slow, Like slow equals fast, you 358 00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 1: are more likely to get the relationship that you want 359 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,400 Speaker 1: and that you desire and you long for. If we 360 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,680 Speaker 1: stop trying to rush into relationships that probably don't feel 361 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 1: that good anyway. We're trying to make things fit slower smooth, 362 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:16,359 Speaker 1: less bumps, less crashes and burns, less toxic relationships. Slow 363 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 1: as smooth smooth is fast, less toxic relationships. I'm in 364 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:24,359 Speaker 1: the more healthy relationships I will probably be in, which 365 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:26,600 Speaker 1: means I might actually end up in a relationship I 366 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,800 Speaker 1: want to be in that feels good now. And I 367 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,600 Speaker 1: don't always feel this way. There are days that I don't. 368 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:32,720 Speaker 1: I will say that, but I really do have an 369 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,760 Speaker 1: opportunity now to be thankful for the slow down in 370 00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,200 Speaker 1: my life. I get to be thankful for a slow 371 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,760 Speaker 1: pace because the slow pace that I allow myself to 372 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: live within kind of lets me experience my life and 373 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:46,439 Speaker 1: make choices out of truth right, not just like fear 374 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,119 Speaker 1: fear that I won't get what I want because resources 375 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,680 Speaker 1: are limited, when really those resources might not be limited. 376 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:55,080 Speaker 1: The slow pace brings me exactly where I need to 377 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: be when I need to be there. And again, I 378 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:59,119 Speaker 1: don't always like it because I want to be there faster, 379 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,960 Speaker 1: but the slow pace does that job for me. So 380 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,639 Speaker 1: kind of pulling this all full circle, because I started 381 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 1: this talking about like new years and resolutions and all that. 382 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:11,159 Speaker 1: The idea here is that creating goals and identifying what 383 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,200 Speaker 1: you want in your life isn't always just about having 384 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:18,879 Speaker 1: those things. It's about creating movement towards those things in 385 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:23,200 Speaker 1: your life. It's about creating movement and creating a life 386 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,680 Speaker 1: and lifestyle that like orients me towards the things I want, 387 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 1: versus orients me towards forcing myself to create the things 388 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 1: I want right now in my life. And then who 389 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,919 Speaker 1: knows what's happening. That's when the logic and the piece 390 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,000 Speaker 1: and the all that kind of gets thrown out the window. 391 00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:41,879 Speaker 1: I've mentioned this a couple of times throughout the last 392 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: I Guess year, but last year on the podcast my 393 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,119 Speaker 1: I have my best friend on Tory Tory Ross, and 394 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,920 Speaker 1: she more Tory Pool. I still call her Tory Ross. 395 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:52,520 Speaker 1: She's been married for a little bit more now. But anyway, 396 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 1: she was on and she was talking about just her 397 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,480 Speaker 1: life and her rush to like be somewhere at a 398 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:02,399 Speaker 1: certain age, and and she said, life is not really short. 399 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,679 Speaker 1: It's actually pretty long. There's a lot of things that 400 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:05,960 Speaker 1: are going to happen, and there's a lot of stuff 401 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 1: you're gonna do. And I love that because I think 402 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,560 Speaker 1: it's true. Life is long, But life is short when 403 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,919 Speaker 1: we feel like we have to rush everything. Life is 404 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 1: short when we think everything scarce because what we do 405 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,080 Speaker 1: is we take ourselves out of our life. We're more 406 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 1: focused on the end, we're more focused on that thing, 407 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,359 Speaker 1: and we lose time because we're not experiencing what we 408 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 1: have right now, what we're in right now, the movement 409 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: we're making right now, the step we're on right now. 410 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,920 Speaker 1: And we think life is really short, and we rush things. 411 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,119 Speaker 1: We have to usually start over over and over and 412 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,280 Speaker 1: over again, and then we tell us the story that 413 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 1: we're never going to get the things we want. But 414 00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:45,199 Speaker 1: I don't think that's true. I think a lot of 415 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,000 Speaker 1: times the reason that that's happening and we keep falling 416 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,800 Speaker 1: down and falling on our faces is because we need 417 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 1: to just take the rush out. We deserve the things 418 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,159 Speaker 1: that are put on our heart. You deserve the things 419 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,200 Speaker 1: that are put on your heart, and what would happen 420 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:02,159 Speaker 1: to those things if you leave that One there is 421 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,919 Speaker 1: enough of that thing to go around. And two, you 422 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,280 Speaker 1: didn't have to rush it because you have time to 423 00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,360 Speaker 1: get it. So as you think about what you want 424 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,159 Speaker 1: to be different next year, as you make your New 425 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,760 Speaker 1: Year's resolutions or your goals, I want to encourage you 426 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,320 Speaker 1: to look at these things differently. What would change like really, 427 00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: what would change of it became more about the process 428 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,680 Speaker 1: of getting there rather than getting there. Success is not scarce, 429 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,520 Speaker 1: joy and happiness. They're not scarce, they're like infinite. Those 430 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,640 Speaker 1: things are not a pie that like there's like eight 431 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,320 Speaker 1: pieces and once they're gone, they're gone. Like success and 432 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:37,719 Speaker 1: joy and happy all those things, there's enough for millions 433 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,720 Speaker 1: and millions and billions and billions and billions of people 434 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:43,200 Speaker 1: to have. We're not running out of that. We never will. Now. 435 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,879 Speaker 1: The trick here also is that we still have to 436 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,360 Speaker 1: operate from a place of caring. Right, So it's not like, oh, 437 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,000 Speaker 1: there's no rush, so I don't have to do anything ever, 438 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,639 Speaker 1: Like it's not like joy's infinite, so I don't have 439 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 1: to do anything to cultivate joy. No, you still have 440 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,080 Speaker 1: to drive the car of your life, Like you still 441 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 1: need to be in the car and driving it. But 442 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 1: now I want you to drive this car without a 443 00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 1: need to get to the destination like before the person 444 00:21:03,359 --> 00:21:05,520 Speaker 1: next to you, Like you don't have to speed up 445 00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,440 Speaker 1: and pass that person, like you can just drive next 446 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 1: to them. You can drive the speed limit. You could 447 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,080 Speaker 1: even go like a couple of miles per hour under 448 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:15,320 Speaker 1: because when you get there, there's still going to be 449 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,280 Speaker 1: enough for you. This is I think really important for 450 00:21:18,359 --> 00:21:21,280 Speaker 1: us to like hold onto there is enough time for 451 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,560 Speaker 1: you to live the life you're created to live. If 452 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,959 Speaker 1: you believe that you were created for purpose, with purpose 453 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 1: on a purpose, then there is going to be enough 454 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,840 Speaker 1: time for you to live the life you're created to live. 455 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: The tricky thing here, though, this will only be true 456 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,240 Speaker 1: for you if you believe it. If you don't believe 457 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 1: it and you rush and everything scarce, you're gonna fumble. 458 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,959 Speaker 1: You're not going to create that muscle memory. You're not. 459 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,920 Speaker 1: You're going to have to start over. You're gonna it's 460 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:48,720 Speaker 1: gonna take more time. You're gonna end up probably giving up. 461 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:51,399 Speaker 1: But if you believe that there is enough time, and 462 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,440 Speaker 1: there is enough happiness, there's enough joy, there is enough 463 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,119 Speaker 1: of the things on your heart that you desire, if 464 00:21:57,119 --> 00:22:00,040 Speaker 1: there's enough of those to go around, if you believe that, 465 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 1: there will be enough time for you to live the 466 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: life you're created to live. So make the goals, make them, 467 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,920 Speaker 1: write them down. Decide what you want to be different, 468 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 1: Decide what you really long for in your life. I 469 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,439 Speaker 1: want you, guys, I want everybody to have things to 470 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 1: look forward to in their life. But I want you 471 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 1: to also highlight that those things that you're writing down 472 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,240 Speaker 1: there's no rush to get them, so slow equals fast, 473 00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 1: my friends. And I hope that holding onto that and 474 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: writing that down somewhere and hearing that helps give you 475 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,920 Speaker 1: what you need to like orient your life towards a 476 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 1: place in a space where you know and believe and 477 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:39,760 Speaker 1: think that the things that you want are possible. And yeah, 478 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 1: so that kind of does it for me. Today again, 479 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,399 Speaker 1: Wednesday is our two year anniversaries, so I'm going to 480 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,920 Speaker 1: do some reminiscing on just the most exciting and eye 481 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,479 Speaker 1: opening parts of this process has been for me, and 482 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,680 Speaker 1: my favorite parts of the podcast and my favorite conversations 483 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 1: and all of that. So get excited for that, and 484 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,840 Speaker 1: thank you guys honestly, because two years is a big deal. 485 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:04,640 Speaker 1: I'm gonna thank you again on Wednesday. So I'm gonna 486 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,239 Speaker 1: make this short, but it's a huge deal for me 487 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,960 Speaker 1: and I'm so excited to get to go into year 488 00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 1: three and plan for that. Um you can follow me 489 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 1: at Cat dot de fato on Instagram and at You 490 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:20,720 Speaker 1: Need Therapy podcast on Instagram. Please do that, And if 491 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 1: you have any questions that you would like to be 492 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,159 Speaker 1: answered on a Couch Talks episode, send them to Catherine 493 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 1: at you need Therapy podcast dot com. And lastly, if 494 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,119 Speaker 1: you would do me the biggest favor and give this 495 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,360 Speaker 1: podcast a little rating at the bottom, five stars if 496 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,720 Speaker 1: you think we deserve it. I would really appreciate that, 497 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,960 Speaker 1: So give us a rating if you haven't so far. 498 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,440 Speaker 1: If you have, you guys, I appreciate that so much. 499 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 1: It means a lot to me. Have the day you 500 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,639 Speaker 1: need to have and I will talk to you guys 501 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,119 Speaker 1: on Wednesday.