Speaker 1: Hi everyone. This is a episode that I record for
Speaker 1: Patreon supporters every week. It's called a teaching, a song
Speaker 1: and a poem and usually a bad joke, and I
Speaker 1: release it once a week to Patreon supporters, people who
Speaker 1: are members at the ten dollar a month level. So
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Speaker 1: and here is an episode of a teaching, a song
Speaker 1: and a poem. I hope you enjoy it. Hello everybody,
Speaker 1: back again with a teaching, a poem and a song,
Speaker 1: and thank you for supporting the show. Thank you for
Speaker 1: your generous, generous, generous contributions and enabling us to do
Speaker 1: what we do. All right. Our teaching this week is
Speaker 1: on something called the hedonic adaptation prevention model by Sheldon Bohm.
Speaker 1: And I can never say the woman's name. It's spelled
Speaker 1: l y U b O m I R s k Y,
Speaker 1: so someone else can try and pronounce that. But what's
Speaker 1: interesting is we've all heard the term hedonic adaptation, or
Speaker 1: if you haven't, you've at least probably heard the term
Speaker 1: hedonic treadmill. Right, we keep wanting new and different things.
Speaker 1: We get what we want, we want more, we want more,
Speaker 1: and so this model sort of lays out how this happens.
Speaker 1: And it really comes in two major components, right. The
Speaker 1: first is a bottom up process in which positive emotions
Speaker 1: from positive life change decline over time. Essentially, you get
Speaker 1: too accustomed to the positive stimulus, taking it for granted
Speaker 1: and consider it as the new standard or new normal.
Speaker 1: This is the person who wins the lottery and goes
Speaker 1: back to being as happy as they were not too
Speaker 1: long after. Now, it's important to note that this is
Speaker 1: a positive thing. To this appears to be um has
Speaker 1: an evolutionary function, and the positive side of it is
Speaker 1: that we do the same thing with negative stimuli. If
Speaker 1: we have something bad happens to us, it's really bad
Speaker 1: for a while. But we eventually adapt and get back
Speaker 1: to a normal place. But when we're trying to deal
Speaker 1: with positive emotions or happiness, this is a little bit
Speaker 1: of a challenge. So we become accustomed to what we
Speaker 1: already have, taking it for granted. And then the second
Speaker 1: problem is a top down process in which we increase
Speaker 1: our aspirations in order to sustain or improve positive emotions.
Speaker 1: As we become more accustomed to the positive stimulus, we
Speaker 1: begin to seek novelty or demand more from the stimuli
Speaker 1: in order to sustain the same level of happiness. And
Speaker 1: I see this happening in my own life, and I'm
Speaker 1: kind of right in the midst of it, right, And
Speaker 1: so I'll give you an example. I guess we're all
Speaker 1: right in the midst of it. But but here's my example. Right.
Speaker 1: I left work, um not too long ago, six months ago, now,
Speaker 1: seven months ago, in order to do the show full time,
Speaker 1: which was something that I had been dreaming of for
Speaker 1: a long time. And by and large, it is wonderful.
Speaker 1: But I need to remind myself to appreciate it and
Speaker 1: enjoy it, because it just becomes the new normal. And
Speaker 1: so I'm constantly having to take time to look at
Speaker 1: it and make sure that I appreciate it over and
Speaker 1: over again. End and then the other thing that can happen.
Speaker 1: And this has happened as good things happened to the show,
Speaker 1: Like we get a certain number of listeners, I'll think
Speaker 1: if well, if we get to this level or we
Speaker 1: get to that level, this amount of contribution, then everything
Speaker 1: will be great. But of course I get there, and
Speaker 1: then if I'm not careful, that top down process I
Speaker 1: talked about is I immediately increase the aspiration. It's suddenly like,
Speaker 1: well I got that, and now I need the next thing. Now.
Speaker 1: Some of this is at work in the general human condition,
Speaker 1: and we've talked about it. Rain Wilson called it the
Speaker 1: if then model of happiness. Right, if I get this,
Speaker 1: then I'll be happy, which we of course, no, doesn't work.
Speaker 1: We get it and then we're not happy. But I
Speaker 1: think that this for us to think about is helpful
Speaker 1: because it tells us a couple of things. One is,
Speaker 1: it tells us we have to continue to reflect on
Speaker 1: the blessings we have and really try and appreciate them. Secondly,
Speaker 1: I think it points to the fact that variety and
Speaker 1: novelty is important in life. The There's a first century
Speaker 1: writer pabilia Cyrus who observed that no pleasure endures unseasoned
Speaker 1: by variety, and so you can apply this any aspect
Speaker 1: of your life. I came across this most recently in
Speaker 1: an article about applying this model to relationships. And so
Speaker 1: what is it in relationships? Well, it's to continue to
Speaker 1: appreciate the good things of your partner, not take them
Speaker 1: for granted, recognize that like, okay, this is really great.
Speaker 1: And then secondly is to try and introduce some novelty
Speaker 1: into the relationship. Don't just come home and do the
Speaker 1: same thing every night, sit on the couch, like do
Speaker 1: things together, because that introduces some degree of novelty and
Speaker 1: resists this hedonic adaptation. So that is the teaching for
Speaker 1: this week, the hedonic adaptation model. So I hope that
Speaker 1: is helpful. And now the poem. As I mentioned last week,
Speaker 1: we're doing Mary Oliver for the next four weeks. So
Speaker 1: this is week two of Mary Oliver and this poem
Speaker 1: is called morning poem. Every morning the world is created
Speaker 1: under the orange sticks of the sun. The heaped ashes
Speaker 1: of the night turn into leaves again and fasten themselves
Speaker 1: to the high branches, and the ponds appear like a
Speaker 1: black cloth, on which are painted islands of summer lilies.
Speaker 1: If it is your nature to be happy, you will
Speaker 1: swim away along the soft trails for hours, your imagination
Speaker 1: alighting everywhere. And if your spirit carries within it the
Speaker 1: thorn that is heavier than lead, if it's all you
Speaker 1: can do to keep on trudging, there is still somewhere
Speaker 1: deep within you a beast shouting that the earth is
Speaker 1: exactly what it wanted. Each pond, with its blazing lilies
Speaker 1: as a prayer heard and answered lavishly. Every more, name,
Speaker 1: whether or not you have ever dared to be happy,
Speaker 1: whether or not you have ever dared to pray? All right,
Speaker 1: and our joke for this week goes like this. It's
Speaker 1: a short one. The children were lined up in the
Speaker 1: cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the
Speaker 1: head of the table was a large pile of apples.
Speaker 1: The nun had posted a note on the apple tray,
Speaker 1: take only one. God is watching. Moving further along the
Speaker 1: lunch line, at the other end of the table was
Speaker 1: a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had
Speaker 1: written a note, take all you want. God is watching.
Speaker 1: The apples. Okay, now our song for the week. This
Speaker 1: song is by a band called Alabama Shakes, and it's
Speaker 1: called hold On. And it's one of those songs that, um,
Speaker 1: I love. It's one of those songs that always picks
Speaker 1: me up. And I just love this singer. She's referencing
Speaker 1: her off when she says, you know, hold on, Brittany,
Speaker 1: she's talking about herself. But and I love the guitar
Speaker 1: lines and this one also, so I'll play you a
Speaker 1: little of it on our way out this week. Thank
Speaker 1: you for your support, contribution, generosity, and attention, and enjoy
Speaker 1: the song. My heart I'm I don't know what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I don't know what I'm gonna do. Must be
Speaker 1: somebody way my w left, my heart left my mind.
Speaker 1: I got so much to do. I ain't got less time,
Speaker 1: So must be some whart Oh say, got on you
Speaker 1: gotta get back no m yeah, wild wild Way. And
Speaker 1: you've got to hold dong, You got to hold don
Speaker 1: you gotta oh hold you gotta ho do