Speaker 1: Guess what decision we're about to make.
Speaker 2: Horrible decision.
Speaker 3: May the fifth, we are pulling.
Speaker 1: Up to London, y'all's the day you need to block
Speaker 1: out in your calendar. It's on a Sunday, So London
Speaker 1: surrounding areas, all the black people that live in.
Speaker 4: Europe, wherever you at, it's your chance. That's right.
Speaker 3: We're super excited to be bringing the last portion of
Speaker 3: the Climax tour to London. If you came to our
Speaker 3: show last year, this will be a completely different show.
Speaker 4: Wilder, more fun. Well, I did get on top of
Speaker 4: the couple and do the sixth.
Speaker 3: And there was a woman who stapled money to her
Speaker 3: cheek and started bleeding.
Speaker 4: But we gotta step it up to London.
Speaker 3: We're gonna step it up, So head on over to
Speaker 3: hohorhive dot com and get your tickets now. Hey guys,
Speaker 3: welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. Sorry, I have
Speaker 3: to work on I have a day later. Anyway, I'm
Speaker 3: your girl man aka. They had the sagon AKA deb
Speaker 3: the first thing. I mean just no, I am down
Speaker 3: to sick on the first day. So are you really
Speaker 3: If the vibe is there, yeah, you.
Speaker 4: Go through so many phases. I mean bitch I because
Speaker 4: let us play back. You're ready a few months ago?
Speaker 2: Ready, like I am you ready? Yeah? Who I am
Speaker 2: today is not who I was yesterday?
Speaker 4: Who beat the bar?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: Hello, going to introduces.
Speaker 1: No, it's not I'm weazy many four And we have
Speaker 1: two guests in the building with us.
Speaker 4: It was almost one.
Speaker 5: It was.
Speaker 4: Lovely ladies in the building.
Speaker 2: That's right, y'all.
Speaker 3: We have Daniell Aquarda and Dominique Sova I met last
Speaker 3: summer because they are also the stars, well two of
Speaker 3: the four stars right of Cocomo City, which is a fabulous, fabulous,
Speaker 3: fabulous But I'll be trying to these veneers be taking
Speaker 3: this of Cocomo City, which is a documentary of the
Speaker 3: lives of four black trans sex workers and just their lives.
Speaker 2: They have a lot of other i would say supporting.
Speaker 3: Uh people that are a part of the documentary as well,
Speaker 3: like some of the partners, someone in the industry who
Speaker 3: shares their relationship.
Speaker 2: But it's just it's just get.
Speaker 1: I've been really excited to see this doc by the way,
Speaker 1: because and it's just done from high level, like because
Speaker 1: my favorite documentary is to watch when I was younger
Speaker 1: and I don't even know what you can call it
Speaker 1: was docuseries was I don't know if you remember Hookers
Speaker 1: at the Point on HBO, but it always showed people
Speaker 1: super strung out and it was like really gritty and grimy,
Speaker 1: and it was kind of like, okay, cool, but you
Speaker 1: don't necessarily look at sex work as something that people
Speaker 1: enjoy doing. It's like a really low brown light onto
Speaker 1: sex work and it kind of pushes out and think like,
Speaker 1: you don't want to live your life like this.
Speaker 4: And obviously there's a dark side to sex work, as
Speaker 4: we both know.
Speaker 1: But when I saw your dark and again, I didn't
Speaker 1: watch the whole thing, but I was like, oh, this is.
Speaker 3: Done shot in black and white by a and also
Speaker 3: a black woman, d Smith. I would love to talk
Speaker 3: to you guys a little bit about what that is
Speaker 3: in terms of being a part of it and why
Speaker 3: why you chose to be a part of Cocoono City.
Speaker 6: No, for sure, I haven't seen hookers on Point, but
Speaker 6: I used to be one of the hookers on the
Speaker 6: Point no check out.
Speaker 1: But you know, they only showed like drug addicts. They
Speaker 1: very rarely show your lea. Yeah, okay, it was dark.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I didn't see. I didn't do drugs or know
Speaker 6: about that. Then what was the point by the way
Speaker 6: on hookers on the point?
Speaker 4: Yeah? What is the point where area is?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Damn, I used to go to jazz Jazz Bitch's point.
Speaker 2: They got all the shop.
Speaker 3: And when I lived in park Chester, Okay, on the blot,
Speaker 3: I think I was Erica then okay.
Speaker 2: At the point Okay.
Speaker 3: So being a part of Cocomo City, why why tell
Speaker 3: your story the way you did, Dominique? Y'all could go
Speaker 3: back and forth because I know that y'all may have
Speaker 3: different reasons.
Speaker 7: I feel like Cocomo City was a chance for me
Speaker 7: to be honest about my story and about my forced
Speaker 7: survival or sex work that I had to do to
Speaker 7: make a living and be a part of society and
Speaker 7: keep a roof over my head. It was finally a
Speaker 7: chance to take away the shame of you know, doing
Speaker 7: what you have to do to survive when you don't
Speaker 7: have many resources to help you out and you have
Speaker 7: to get creative at the end of the day, you
Speaker 7: know what I mean, And a lot of people put
Speaker 7: shame on that. But then the same people that try
Speaker 7: to put shame on it are not the people that
Speaker 7: are extending resources or trying to help or anything. So
Speaker 7: you get to a point that you're like, you know what,
Speaker 7: fuck this shit, this is what I had to do.
Speaker 7: This is who I am, and you're gonna take it
Speaker 7: or you leave it. And it also gives other people
Speaker 7: power to live in their truth because a lot of
Speaker 7: people are not living in their truth, And if I
Speaker 7: can do anything to help someone else live in their
Speaker 7: tooth or find their path or something, then I feel
Speaker 7: like I did something right.
Speaker 4: And Danielle, if.
Speaker 3: I'm not mistaken, you spoke about that in the dock
Speaker 3: where it was like that there's actually sometimes trouble finding
Speaker 3: work just because you're a transpoman. No, of course, and
Speaker 3: so it is a survival because this is how you
Speaker 3: have to make money to survive. And I think it's
Speaker 3: just a conversation like for me that at that point
Speaker 3: in my life, it needed to happen the way that
Speaker 3: it happened in like this very unapologetic way, because I know,
Speaker 3: like for me, it was like I had like ten
Speaker 3: years of actually being in the industry, being a part
Speaker 3: of community, doing a number of different initiatives, and so
Speaker 3: every year here I am like going to these celebrity events,
Speaker 3: and a lot of people didn't know that I was
Speaker 3: still surviving, right because along the way, it's like, I
Speaker 3: have a daddy that can sustain the imposter syndrome right
Speaker 3: of me being able to show up just to exists
Speaker 3: for them.
Speaker 6: So what do you mean you have a daddy, a
Speaker 6: sugar daddy. Oh yeah, no, I couldn't just do a client.
Speaker 2: That was.
Speaker 3: I was like, you can't do a ted talk and
Speaker 3: do clients like the regular way, bitch. You were like
Speaker 3: that because that way of life, that part, and it
Speaker 3: was well, I think that's why.
Speaker 1: I acted like I never did sex work until I
Speaker 1: started to learn like a sugar daddy.
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, daddy and the name A couple of daddy's
Speaker 6: got the girls through and even a woman at one point.
Speaker 7: But hello, trust I say sponsor.
Speaker 6: You know, well, I was in relationships and got rings
Speaker 6: from some of these individuals, so I have to say daddy's.
Speaker 2: I guess.
Speaker 1: Something really curious about Do you think that there's a
Speaker 1: stigma of black trans women being synonymous with sex work
Speaker 1: because it's so hard for black trans women.
Speaker 7: To find y'all, just trans women in general, because they're
Speaker 7: so discriminated again. So for example, I've worked in the
Speaker 7: normal work first, and I had a job and I
Speaker 7: was trying to make a normal living. I came out
Speaker 7: of sex work and one guy, frustrated that he was
Speaker 7: into me and I didn't want to give them the
Speaker 7: time of day, ended up taking my advertisement that I
Speaker 7: had an old advertisement from the magazine now to my
Speaker 7: job and showed everybody at my job. So then the
Speaker 7: next time I went to work, everybody was looking at
Speaker 7: me strange and they're looking at my crotch and they're
Speaker 7: like and they're treating me different. So it's like these
Speaker 7: things like we tried to integrate a society and they
Speaker 7: see there that then what my boss made it horrible
Speaker 7: for me. There's sexual advances that you can take. The
Speaker 7: treatment is not fair, the schedule is not fair. Like
Speaker 7: everything changes once people know that you're trends, which is
Speaker 7: really sad. So therefore what does the girl to do?
Speaker 7: You know what I mean, You're being fetishized because the
Speaker 7: men are coming and they're getting their rocks off of you.
Speaker 7: They're selling you a dream, they're leaving you high end.
Speaker 7: There's no exchange. At the end of the day, you
Speaker 7: feel like so empty. So you're like, Okay, listen, I
Speaker 7: have this that people want. You know what I mean,
Speaker 7: I'm going to use this to survive.
Speaker 2: I have to.
Speaker 7: This is what I have, This is all I have
Speaker 7: that this is what I'm going to use and claim
Speaker 7: my power to survive at the end of the day
Speaker 7: and make it an exchange. But with that comes, you know,
Speaker 7: psychological trouble, and you know from many years of doing
Speaker 7: sex work. Now I'm in therapy trying to unpack all
Speaker 7: of these things that I've seen, that I've experienced that
Speaker 7: I've lived. So I mean, this is what this is
Speaker 7: our path, which is really sad for us. I've been
Speaker 7: a trans woman for twenty eight years, and every person
Speaker 7: trans person that I know has had to be in
Speaker 7: this path at one point of the other. I don't
Speaker 7: care how famous they are now. Before ever, they have
Speaker 7: had to pass this path because that's the only path
Speaker 7: that was made accessible for us to survive.
Speaker 4: How old are about it, I'm curious because twenty eight
Speaker 4: years I'm looking at you, I'm like.
Speaker 2: I know, she looked the fuck good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, We're not supposed to ask a woman their age, honey.
Speaker 7: I'm just happy to say I am forty five and alive.
Speaker 7: I know that, Okay, amazing, I'm forty five and alive,
Speaker 7: and I'm proud to say that every day because a
Speaker 7: lot of girls that I came out with cannot be
Speaker 7: sitting here today to say that.
Speaker 6: And what about you, well, if you actually are we
Speaker 6: saying in transis actual?
Speaker 2: I feel pre historic.
Speaker 6: I've been through, but I guess in human every day years.
Speaker 6: I'm twenty nine getting ready to turn thirty.
Speaker 1: When meeting a trans woman that is, you know, got
Speaker 1: ten years on you or whatever? Did you find that
Speaker 1: did your relationship grow within the documentary? Did you know
Speaker 1: each other before? Like what's your relationship together?
Speaker 6: So okay, so I came out fairly young, so I
Speaker 6: had a couple mothers along the way, But I think
Speaker 6: what I didn't have was like these very like clear
Speaker 6: examples that was accessible to me in terms of what
Speaker 6: I wanted to be and so like around that time,
Speaker 6: I would say, like when coming out, I like met
Speaker 6: Jane and Monk and like Laverne was my mentor, and
Speaker 6: so you know, I had what they would say is
Speaker 6: the pinnacle of the representation of a black trans woman,
Speaker 6: specifically a media. But then I will never forget right,
Speaker 6: so she knows I always tell this story. And we
Speaker 6: was at Del Frisco's, right, and so I've always been
Speaker 6: I guess that young queen that older queens kind of
Speaker 6: lived for because I know how to get my pieces
Speaker 6: and my coins to sit at the table with them.
Speaker 4: You don't need the sponsor for.
Speaker 3: Oh, I brought the sponsor with me, so they knew
Speaker 3: that she had something in her head. But I remember
Speaker 3: we were all at Del Frisco's, and I saw her
Speaker 3: at the dinner table and a couple of girls didn't
Speaker 3: have their pieces for the check, right, so they came
Speaker 3: and they ordered, but they didn't have the funds. And
Speaker 3: so she's sitting there in this beautiful blue gown. And
Speaker 3: when I tell you she was clear the table, No,
Speaker 3: she was clearing it. And I was like, okay, I
Speaker 3: want to grow up and be like that, because the
Speaker 3: way she cleared the table, she cleared in the dock
Speaker 3: lay down clearence.
Speaker 4: What does wearing means?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 4: So that's why women listening they're like, what what do
Speaker 4: you mean?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 3: So clearness when you get a person together, like when
Speaker 3: you gather them like for not having funds for their
Speaker 3: being crooked, coming to your house without the money on
Speaker 3: the dresser, like all of those things is clearing your person.
Speaker 4: And no, now you did this at Dale first cup.
Speaker 7: Yeah, so it was like a birthday party. My girlfriend
Speaker 7: invited me. I came. You know, it's like all these
Speaker 7: trans women. I'm like, yes, sisters, whatever. But then you know,
Speaker 7: the check came and then everybody was like turning there birthday,
Speaker 7: no more girl. And then I met her and I'm like, wow,
Speaker 7: she's like so beautiful. She's young, she's youthful, she has dry.
Speaker 2: She has money.
Speaker 4: She was reading.
Speaker 7: She was reading, but she had to pay one hundred
Speaker 7: and fifty for a short cocktail because girls didn't want
Speaker 7: to pay their bill. And she was like, oh, I
Speaker 7: can't believe. And I was like I fuck with her.
Speaker 6: No, because they were all older than me. So the map,
Speaker 6: like they said, the math is not math time.
Speaker 4: You want to come back to this place.
Speaker 7: You can't be embarrassed, right, So fast forward, like we
Speaker 7: do the movie. We're doing the movie like de films
Speaker 7: us and everything. She keeps it under wraps. She doesn't
Speaker 7: tell us until when we're going to Sundance and she's like, oh,
Speaker 7: you know Danielle is in the movie and.
Speaker 4: I'm like, wait, whoa And I immediately called.
Speaker 3: Her up like this, we ain't talk about city.
Speaker 4: Where is Cocomo citing?
Speaker 2: So is that a real city? It's there is a city.
Speaker 2: There's Indiana.
Speaker 4: Okay, Oh, look, because you've been.
Speaker 3: If you guys actually look into it, it's a city
Speaker 3: that was reference in a song, like an old.
Speaker 1: School song, way down in Coca. You make a sum up,
Speaker 1: but it's a oh that's a real Bermuda.
Speaker 4: Was not mentioned in that song.
Speaker 3: Yes, it was in Bermuda, but he says way down,
Speaker 3: don't don't say that.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I know it's about Crocomo And.
Speaker 3: Okay, Coco City is a song from what the sixties
Speaker 3: or seven it was. I thought it was like news
Speaker 3: by Cocomo Arnold, right, Yeah, maybe they need to tell
Speaker 3: this part Mandy research. I talked about it when I
Speaker 3: interviewed the six months ago.
Speaker 4: What it was long talk.
Speaker 3: About old Okay, so that that man specifically actually had
Speaker 3: songs where he talked about his love for trans women.
Speaker 3: And this is forty fifty years ago, when, of course
Speaker 3: you don't hear right, you know that in song?
Speaker 1: So I want to take it somewhere else, because I'm
Speaker 1: really curious. We hear a conversation within the LGBTQ community
Speaker 1: about gay men hating being the gay bestie. Now we
Speaker 1: already know men fantasize the shit out of trans women.
Speaker 1: What do women do? The dries trans women crazy?
Speaker 4: Ooh good?
Speaker 1: Like is there something that you feel like they're taking
Speaker 1: or maybe they like having a ticker like I've got
Speaker 1: my transfriend? Or what is it that you see women
Speaker 1: do that they may not know as offensive?
Speaker 6: I mean just the thought that because we're trans women,
Speaker 6: that means we want to have kids, deadbeat baby daddies, periods, crams, gagging,
Speaker 6: all the things that since women are going through, Like
Speaker 6: I honestly don't want to sign up for that, like
Speaker 6: looking in my truth don't come with all that, right,
Speaker 6: So it's like even comparing our womanhood, right because like
Speaker 6: the way that I got like excuse me, the way
Speaker 6: that my womanhood and what that experience looks like for me,
Speaker 6: it's very different. But I also know that there's commonalities
Speaker 6: within our experience, right, Like I have Taytaylin and me
Speaker 6: to leave your house to come lay up with me,
Speaker 6: So we's both dealing with an ancient But what we
Speaker 6: don't realize in that moment is that we have the
Speaker 6: same battles the right, like patriarchy, misogyny. But for some
Speaker 6: reason you want to compare your womanhood and your journey
Speaker 6: and if you are forever shut out to you. But
Speaker 6: just like what I know is like it doesn't matter
Speaker 6: where your womanhood is in terms of your ability to
Speaker 6: have a child or not. It's about what we know
Speaker 6: we're carrying, which is a lot of men on our
Speaker 6: backs and the bullshit that come with them.
Speaker 7: Tell me, I feel the thing that I don't like
Speaker 7: about what CI shinder women do. They feel like they
Speaker 7: need to intervene with relations between trans women or homosexuality
Speaker 7: whatever to try to make themselves the snitch or the
Speaker 7: person that knows everything and oh you know, oh that's
Speaker 7: the gay guy or you know that's a trans woman.
Speaker 7: Like I don't know why you're talking to them.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Like people find that women are the ones who are
Speaker 1: we're not the word exposing.
Speaker 7: What it is is they create shame for the men. Okay,
Speaker 7: and we know that understand the men, and then the
Speaker 7: men creates frustration inside of them. So what happens they've
Speaker 7: turned to react violence on us. But I feel like
Speaker 7: and this is the chain of reactions of effects. If
Speaker 7: women didn't care and like us, I can say sleep
Speaker 7: for myself. I don't care who's sleeping with too. As
Speaker 7: long as you're straight with yourself and you are honest
Speaker 7: with who you're sleeping with. I'm okay with that. Okay,
Speaker 7: I'm not out here trying to control who's sleeping with who.
Speaker 7: I don't care. That's not what moves my world. But
Speaker 7: if you come into my world, I do want to
Speaker 7: know who you're sleeping with. So I have to protect
Speaker 7: myself and then we take it from there. But women
Speaker 7: choose to want to be Oh, you know, let me
Speaker 7: go out. You're in the club and you're talking to
Speaker 7: a guy. Oh, I have to tell this guy that
Speaker 7: that's a trans woman so I can fill one up
Speaker 7: and have a bond with this person because I know
Speaker 7: something that they don't.
Speaker 4: And we have to stop this people.
Speaker 7: We just need to let people be who they are
Speaker 7: however they feel. It's not bothering you, okay. And we
Speaker 7: need to worry about what's going on in our own
Speaker 7: house instead of what's going on in anybody else's house.
Speaker 7: And including in between their legs period.
Speaker 1: You were about to say, you said, I feel like,
Speaker 1: so were you disagreeing for a second.
Speaker 6: Only because I feel like to a certain extent where
Speaker 6: I don't think that they always like, I think it's
Speaker 6: unintentional sometimes when it comes to like how they out us,
Speaker 6: because I think for some cis gender women, they feel
Speaker 6: that they're protecting their friends, right, and so it's like, oh,
Speaker 6: because I feel right that what my friend has said
Speaker 6: to me is that he's a heterosexual man. They don't
Speaker 6: view trans women as women. They see that as like
Speaker 6: a homosexual act or behavior. Right, So it's like whenever
Speaker 6: it's like, oh, maybe my male friend is attracted to
Speaker 6: this what they believe is a sis woman, they don't
Speaker 6: know in fact that they may be partaking in something
Speaker 6: that's considered to me get so weird. So I'm gonna
Speaker 6: protect them from that gay thing because they may not
Speaker 6: see it as you know, because so a lot of
Speaker 6: women feel like we're it's like a form of like
Speaker 6: deception because of us being trained.
Speaker 2: So it's like I don't believe that, No, I don't care.
Speaker 4: Really really think girls have a little bit.
Speaker 3: Of superiority coming well, also, you leaned into something though,
Speaker 3: and at this point we're jumping around because I love
Speaker 3: to get to I had a clip where Adam twenty
Speaker 3: two sat with Ava, who's up and coming rapper from
Speaker 3: the Bronx or here in New York. And she's now
Speaker 3: dating a drill rapper. So she brings the drill rapper.
Speaker 3: She's trans right, she's trained, that's right, I remember. And
Speaker 3: and so she brings her boyfriend onto No Jumper podcasts
Speaker 3: and they have a conversation about it because he literally
Speaker 3: sits there and says, I love my girlfriend. I knew
Speaker 3: exactly what was between her legs, who she is, how
Speaker 3: she identifies and everything.
Speaker 2: But I'm not gay. I don't really don't care.
Speaker 8: Nobody gotta say it because me personally, like if anybody
Speaker 8: as I'm game like that, I won't see myself I'm gay.
Speaker 8: Like for me, I don't think I'm gad or like
Speaker 8: I don't know, Like I scrolled into her page, I
Speaker 8: saw her, I was like, I was looking at I
Speaker 8: was like, look good, like you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I'm saying what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: And so there was that conversation regarding the title of
Speaker 3: their sexuality that came into question.
Speaker 2: So when you're saying and.
Speaker 1: She's a woman post stop by the way, that I
Speaker 1: think that's why he was saying, I'm not gay. I'm
Speaker 1: not sometimes o let me finish. I really think that, man,
Speaker 1: and please let me know if you agree. When trans
Speaker 1: girls are post stop, they feel like they're in a
Speaker 1: whole nother playing field.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh, yeah, this is this is their conversations.
Speaker 6: I feel like that might be yes for some men,
Speaker 6: and even within our own community, like within the trans community,
Speaker 6: but I think that there is a misconception in general,
Speaker 6: even just within the LGBTQ community. Because somebody walked up
Speaker 6: to my partner right and we were like, it's a
Speaker 6: queer event. But they go up to him and they're like, oh, so, like,
Speaker 6: how does it feel to like be out and be queer?
Speaker 6: He doesn't identify as queer, like he identifies as a
Speaker 6: hetero sexual men. So he was actually offended and he
Speaker 6: didn't know how to respond.
Speaker 3: Does they bother you though? That there is an offense?
Speaker 3: And I know a lot of people just hate the
Speaker 3: titles all around. Right, we done talked about that with oh,
Speaker 3: wezy not want to identify bisexual in some places right.
Speaker 4: Going on, But.
Speaker 3: Your partner knowing that you identify within the community.
Speaker 2: Well, some days I identify within the community.
Speaker 3: We all identified with it, like because there's all the
Speaker 3: other mothers, y'all could be by identify as straight as lesbian,
Speaker 3: like they all identified.
Speaker 2: And that's the thing I d gonna I never even
Speaker 2: thought to ask on that. Well, what I'm told right
Speaker 2: to be?
Speaker 3: I guess for other people in their political correctness, I
Speaker 3: am a binary, heterosexual identified trans woman.
Speaker 2: To me, I'm just dan yella.
Speaker 3: But what I know is if you have the titty
Speaker 3: sort of skin, any type of blowiss, lips thick, we
Speaker 3: are not knocking persons. And that's anywhere on the spectrum. Okay,
Speaker 3: wherever you fall. It won't work for me. Okay, but
Speaker 3: shout out to the people who they do.
Speaker 4: I don't like.
Speaker 7: Well, now I'm I'm post operative, and I feel way
Speaker 7: more comfortable in my skin and in my body, and
Speaker 7: I feel like I don't want to fit in the
Speaker 7: binary of what people want to put me in the
Speaker 7: box because I have made my own self. I took
Speaker 7: myself on this own journey. I medically did what I
Speaker 7: had to do to feel complete in my skin, so
Speaker 7: I don't need anybody's labels to find me. Yes, I'm
Speaker 7: presenting as a female. I am pen sexual. I'm attracted
Speaker 7: to people and energies.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 7: I'm attracted to brains. I'm attracted to you know, I
Speaker 7: don't I'm attracted to whoever is a person. At the
Speaker 7: end of the day, I don't have labels. I don't
Speaker 7: have any judgment. I'm open because I'm comfortable in my
Speaker 7: skin and I can I know who I am and
Speaker 7: I know what I bring.
Speaker 4: To the table.
Speaker 3: So how long did that take you? It took a
Speaker 3: long time. Shout out to you. You were going through
Speaker 3: that journey as well on Cocomo City.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Are you comfortable talking about a little bit about your
Speaker 1: process and your motions duringey?
Speaker 2: Of course?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I have a I love that you asked.
Speaker 3: That because we've had conversations where sometimes you feel like
Speaker 3: you don't know what to ask because it's genital. But
Speaker 3: it is also a right. It is offensive and like
Speaker 3: what you got.
Speaker 4: Even on a podcast that is too much.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm lokey over your gag and talk about.
Speaker 7: I may they don't seen my other in the comosa,
Speaker 7: so it's like they was.
Speaker 2: A fully functioning.
Speaker 7: I'm about the ask question that you didn't expect.
Speaker 4: Did you need to have a last moment with your peanut?
Speaker 4: Of course? And in that last moment, was there like
Speaker 4: things you felt like you needed to get out?
Speaker 5: And what were those things? Because I feel like it's
Speaker 5: like I had to, like, you know, have my organized
Speaker 5: scored on the wall one time. Had I had to
Speaker 5: mid o trade. I had to trade some ass, I
Speaker 5: had to penetrate some vagina. I had to do what
Speaker 5: I had to do. And then I was like, I
Speaker 5: put it all on the Cocomo City. I did another
Speaker 5: magazine Come Call Richardson where I was fully nude, and
Speaker 5: then I was like, okay, I did every I.
Speaker 7: Did porn for twenty years. I said, I think I'm
Speaker 7: done here. Okay, cocker right on up.
Speaker 1: And when when going through it, because I have a
Speaker 1: trans friend that literally deleted socials, she was like really
Speaker 1: going through it and she's not like an influencer.
Speaker 4: I know most people know me. I hope you's all
Speaker 4: coolist shit. It's not.
Speaker 1: But another friend of mine who's like, girl, I can't
Speaker 1: believe I don't have this nigger pay for the shit.
Speaker 1: And now I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
Speaker 1: And I'm curious, like how long were you thinking about
Speaker 1: it and what got you there?
Speaker 7: So I've always thought had the thought of it. I
Speaker 7: always wanted to have surgery, but like survival had me,
Speaker 7: you know, into sex work, and I got comfortable in it,
Speaker 7: and I was thriving and I made a name for myself.
Speaker 7: So I said, Okay, I can maintain this. But then
Speaker 7: after a while, like the dysphoria started to kick in,
Speaker 7: and it was it didn't connect.
Speaker 4: But in sex work it's better to be pre op before.
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah it is. And so I was more like,
Speaker 7: you can you make so much money? Yeah? And I
Speaker 7: got this point. I'm like directing, I'm shooting, I'm like starring.
Speaker 7: I'm moif go to be a top two though.
Speaker 4: Oh wait, oh wait wait wait wait that's interesting too.
Speaker 2: Yeahs.
Speaker 7: In terms of sex work, for the most money is
Speaker 7: predominantly yes, they want you to top, top, top top.
Speaker 6: You could be pre up and be a bottom and
Speaker 6: be broke boots because you're not swinging to day.
Speaker 7: Want you to top for all day and night. That's
Speaker 7: what like my specialty, which is totally the opposite of
Speaker 7: who I am in my personal life. But you gotta
Speaker 7: you know, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Speaker 2: And I ain't gonna hold you. I'm probably someone helping.
Speaker 2: That be the case. All the girlies I follow on
Speaker 2: OnlyFans bottoms take it.
Speaker 1: I don't you know what it is because I do.
Speaker 1: And as someone that's like strapped up with my ex
Speaker 1: and ship like for some reason, I don't like seeing
Speaker 1: women beings hugged.
Speaker 4: Well, clearly I'm pegged this down here.
Speaker 2: Actually, I mean my Dick, I can't feel ship.
Speaker 3: It, don't squirt out it, don't do none of the
Speaker 3: cool ship that I don't really like about it, Dick,
Speaker 3: So I'll just bel.
Speaker 4: I will do it. But no.
Speaker 1: But so for me, I think it's really getting to see,
Speaker 1: especially the moaning to write, because you're looking at something
Speaker 1: different that's not necessarily like you, but it's womanly and
Speaker 1: beautiful most of the time. Especially the website what is
Speaker 1: it dream Training?
Speaker 4: They define us.
Speaker 3: Well one moment actually I just want to run off,
Speaker 3: just just real quick.
Speaker 2: These are the ones I support.
Speaker 3: UH on only Fans, So the Shaye Barbie Beautiful only one,
Speaker 3: ts Kendle and if you beat with any of these,
Speaker 3: we could beleep the name. Sorry, uh I finished it.
Speaker 3: My favorite is Rikaya or ts Paris. We had Paris
Speaker 3: on right and big Bugatti.
Speaker 2: No, we have Paris on.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, oh you're thinking of Jamie Paris, Jamie pars Yeah,
Speaker 1: no Paris.
Speaker 4: You need to get into Vanil. You know Vanil?
Speaker 7: No set Okay, I'm shooting her actually tomorrow. B A
Speaker 7: N N I A L L. I'm actually directing her
Speaker 7: tomorrow for Evil Angel. She's like a black, beautiful, big
Speaker 7: girl and she puts it down.
Speaker 3: Can I ask that question, because that's what I see
Speaker 3: is the most difference in in heterosexual porn, everybody's hanging right,
Speaker 3: and in the trans women porn specifically, they be sometimes
Speaker 3: real little.
Speaker 4: Is there a difference in how is that from hormones? Okay?
Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, but.
Speaker 2: Now only because.
Speaker 7: After after twenty years on hormones, there's no I mean,
Speaker 7: because that looks like I know.
Speaker 3: A girl that has been on hormones for twenty years,
Speaker 3: she's hanging hello.
Speaker 7: So I mean, I guess it's like the Chinas. They're
Speaker 7: all different.
Speaker 2: They are all Some are.
Speaker 4: Big, some are little, some starting off big.
Speaker 7: You know.
Speaker 4: Okay, now this question is crazy but I gotta know. Shoot,
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna lie. She is so excited to challenge.
Speaker 4: Okay for audition.
Speaker 1: When I got my titties done, I saw five titties
Speaker 1: and I showed them to doctor, like, these are titties
Speaker 1: I want.
Speaker 4: Did you the pussy you wanted?
Speaker 2: No? Actually I didn't. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I'm serious, not thinking to myself if you know people
Speaker 1: are with you pre I was like, you look how.
Speaker 4: Hard you were.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, what if I'm not as impressive on
Speaker 1: the other side.
Speaker 7: That was, and that was the big gamble that I
Speaker 7: had to take. I literally felt when I had surgery.
Speaker 7: I jumped off of cliff because it was my safety
Speaker 7: net was having a penis, Like, I know what a penis.
Speaker 7: I can go anywhere and make money as a post stop.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 7: I had to be more creative, and luckily I had
Speaker 7: opportunities arise. But yeah, I was just like, Okay, I
Speaker 7: don't know what it's gonna look like. I don't know
Speaker 7: if it's gonna work, I don't know how it's gonna feel,
Speaker 7: but I know this is what I've dreamed of my
Speaker 7: whole life, and I'm ready to whatever comes with it.
Speaker 4: How hard was it were you, Because I mean I
Speaker 4: heard catheter, Like.
Speaker 7: Oh my god, girl, it was like, honestly the worst
Speaker 7: two months of my life. But to two and a
Speaker 7: half years two yeah, two years later. Yeah, you can't,
Speaker 7: like you literally cannot leave the house. I was talking
Speaker 7: about it the other day. Okay, just imagine this. You
Speaker 7: have surgery. Okay, you have surgery. They cut you out,
Speaker 7: they turn you out, you have stitches everywhere, and you're
Speaker 7: in the hospital for three I think you're in the
Speaker 7: hospital for five days. Right after you get out of
Speaker 7: the hospital, they take the packing and everything.
Speaker 2: You with your.
Speaker 7: Whole open wound with stitches and blood and everything, have
Speaker 7: to dilate with this plastic raw that's hard as fuck
Speaker 7: for fifteen minutes, four times a day. Imagine the psychological
Speaker 7: of that. Like I literally disconnected from my body for
Speaker 7: six months. I'm not even gonna hold you.
Speaker 2: I could.
Speaker 7: I was not here. I was, you know, doing everything
Speaker 7: that I had to do, but I wasn't in my
Speaker 7: body because I was shook. I saw that the first time.
Speaker 7: When I first saw that and the stitches and the blood,
Speaker 7: I checked out. I was like, oh my god, what
Speaker 7: is this.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 7: It did not look cute. My girlfriend's like, yeah, it's
Speaker 7: got to be cute. I'm like, what is this?
Speaker 2: What is this?
Speaker 7: So it took me like six months to like, did
Speaker 7: you mean on women with that were cis gender? No,
Speaker 7: it wasn't a friends of mine that had sartain before.
Speaker 4: Can I ask you.
Speaker 2: Last inappropriate question? Promised last one?
Speaker 4: No, last two.
Speaker 2: Do you orgasm differently? Yes?
Speaker 3: Girl?
Speaker 4: Do you orgasm like a like a woman?
Speaker 7: Are you orgasm like orgasm like you know, like five
Speaker 7: ten minutes organism?
Speaker 4: Are you getting wet? Because I hear that, I get
Speaker 4: what is it?
Speaker 7: I guess it's like the I don't know, like the
Speaker 7: whatever fluid that you would produce that pre comes.
Speaker 4: One of my.
Speaker 1: Friends recently had sex with a woman in Thailand, and
Speaker 1: he said in the morning she asked him if he'd
Speaker 1: ever had sex with a trans girl, and he said,
Speaker 1: My reaction was super chill. I was like, no, she said.
Speaker 1: He said, why, she's like, you know that storism here,
Speaker 1: he said.
Speaker 4: I started looking at her.
Speaker 3: So she she was five eleven, which is pretty tall
Speaker 3: for a woman. It's pretty tall for Thailand. This air
Speaker 3: about it, but.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, babe, I don't think a trans pussy
Speaker 4: can't get wet. And he's like, wow, are you sure
Speaker 4: it was really wet?
Speaker 7: And I was like, oh yeah, they have techniques that
Speaker 7: they use, like your parts of your colon that like
Speaker 7: stay wet. But then there's like it's complications because there's
Speaker 7: like a little bit smelly, but it lubricates naturally and
Speaker 7: the way and the way, yeah, you prepare before and
Speaker 7: also if you're turned on for some reason, you get wet.
Speaker 7: I don't know what it is.
Speaker 4: Good shit, good.
Speaker 2: Shit, Yes, that's good shit. Now.
Speaker 3: I wanted to get back to sex work real quick
Speaker 3: because our vanilla shit. There was something that went viral
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, this is b sand.
Speaker 2: So we're gonna talk about smells since you just brought
Speaker 2: up smells.
Speaker 3: And this one actually led to a text message thread
Speaker 3: this person tweeted, so I link with this dude, and
Speaker 3: when it was time to do the do he smelled
Speaker 3: funny down there. I don't know if I worded this
Speaker 3: wrong or what, but considering he's twenty five, I definitely
Speaker 3: expected him to take the constructive criticism better.
Speaker 2: Pretty much.
Speaker 3: This is how it read. Not trying to be rude
Speaker 3: or nothing, but definitely needed to shower. Hold on you
Speaker 3: saying I stink? She said, stick is not the word.
Speaker 3: He said, watch your mouth. You try, And she said,
Speaker 3: but I could tell you didn't shower. You want me
Speaker 3: to lie to you. If you felt like I needed
Speaker 3: a shower, I would want you to tell me. You
Speaker 3: don't have to be offended. You didn't stink, but you
Speaker 3: need a shower. You've been at work all day and
Speaker 3: I could tell, he said, I don't know what you're
Speaker 3: talking about. Definitely showered. You just run in your mouth,
Speaker 3: but you enjoy the rest of your night. Or you
Speaker 3: got me confused with another dirty dick nigga? You fucking
Speaker 3: that was Dan Yella?
Speaker 1: Tell me right now, one out of ten, how many
Speaker 1: of the clients be funking a boody?
Speaker 2: Ah not no booty. I'm not a toperd.
Speaker 6: You're not at all. Well, I would say, I don't know.
Speaker 6: I don't have those type of dates. I mean, I've
Speaker 6: had a young date that probably smells like that.
Speaker 2: Did you tell them, like what is the conversation? How well?
Speaker 6: I would see, I'll probably be nice about it about
Speaker 6: it because I would just like, hey, baby, let's go
Speaker 6: take a shower, Like I just want to, but then
Speaker 6: I would also want to tip because you use my shower,
Speaker 6: so that.
Speaker 3: Way you could ask for a tip myself is extensive. No, damn,
Speaker 3: this is not the hotel baby.
Speaker 7: You know, you know how I used to turn it
Speaker 7: in Europe and London and I'm Germany iron.
Speaker 4: And those day bodies, this is what they.
Speaker 7: Cheese the foreskin like. They would come in and then
Speaker 7: you would.
Speaker 4: Just you're not.
Speaker 2: Baby.
Speaker 7: I would be like I would meet the greet them
Speaker 7: at the door and my little outfits.
Speaker 2: I would say, hi, baby, how are you? My god
Speaker 2: great great.
Speaker 7: Money in and I will walk them right to the
Speaker 7: shower before anything.
Speaker 4: So you don't even know. I don't care.
Speaker 7: You got to get in that shower before you because
Speaker 7: I already know it's giving because you have you know.
Speaker 4: And you men just because you want to circumcised, you need.
Speaker 7: And you men are not clean, so I need you
Speaker 7: to take a shower before anything.
Speaker 2: And they would all get into.
Speaker 4: Wait overseas, was that just overseas or is that.
Speaker 2: It was in general?
Speaker 7: Because I'm wondering more overseas because they it was the
Speaker 7: uncircumciseness and the pungentness of.
Speaker 2: The was a lot. It was a lot, but wait.
Speaker 6: You don't charge more because for me it's like so
Speaker 6: for me, I didn't mind the itemization and for real though,
Speaker 6: because it's like I'm okay too, and I'm actually happy
Speaker 6: when they come and eat the shower because that takes
Speaker 6: up the time.
Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 7: I don't answear tip because then by the time they
Speaker 7: do all that, I do that, So you're.
Speaker 3: Not even gonna get so I guess it's.
Speaker 4: Because you do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want you to get the full spot of
Speaker 3: treatment though, no shade in my bathroom because I need
Speaker 3: you to really stay there.
Speaker 2: So like I'm going to break out the there's an
Speaker 2: hourly f no for real, Oh damn, that's the only
Speaker 2: way you came in.
Speaker 4: Can you tell me? And a deposit have to happen
Speaker 4: an ideal.
Speaker 1: Client like ooh, start to end for the girls listening,
Speaker 1: because I remember once when I went on a what's your.
Speaker 4: Price date and I was literally like, when is he
Speaker 4: gonna pay me?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 1: Oh, I did it, and I was like really scared.
Speaker 1: When I was young, I was just finding sites to
Speaker 1: make some cash on and I remember thinking like WHOA
Speaker 1: like is it?
Speaker 4: Because he that I liked him? Like I don't get it.
Speaker 6: That's the thing though, too, that's very real that you
Speaker 6: can lose a date if he feels like you like
Speaker 6: him too much.
Speaker 3: Oh I never now for real, but I mean I have.
Speaker 3: I had a date and I was so mad because
Speaker 3: he told me right like when we first met, he
Speaker 3: was like, I don't want a girl who falls for me,
Speaker 3: like this has to be transactioning, like you need to
Speaker 3: come in and handle my needs and get your money
Speaker 3: and just go.
Speaker 2: But the type of guy he was, it was hard
Speaker 2: not to fall for him.
Speaker 3: Like for me, he was my Christian gray, like he
Speaker 3: was like very young, light eyes, body for days and
Speaker 3: the only thing that was mixed it he did want
Speaker 3: to get taped, and I didn't live for that because
Speaker 3: like I felt soaked every time I saw him, and
Speaker 3: it was like this is ideal.
Speaker 6: You look good, you're young, and it's a fab coin.
Speaker 6: No shade, because I'm not going up in nobody house
Speaker 6: for nothing less. Yeah, but it's like for me, it
Speaker 6: was like I got emotionally attached and then it was
Speaker 6: like okay, now I'm late. I got a sickening coin
Speaker 6: and the day used to get me strung out. No shade,
Speaker 6: so to the girls don't do drugs, but today it
Speaker 6: is not it. You're gonna lose your tip.
Speaker 4: Girl, no shade, order, don't due. So he was cuddling,
Speaker 4: you said, I used to lay.
Speaker 6: Up, Yeah, cuddle down the views. It was literally for me,
Speaker 6: it was everything got no shade. This person was so
Speaker 6: fab that recently I guess after he's are giving the
Speaker 6: girl so much coin he became the person pulling coins
Speaker 6: and sex worker because he was literally on the shape
Speaker 6: room for marrying a.
Speaker 2: Second in person.
Speaker 6: But I also want him to know if you come
Speaker 6: a Chris, is you owe me a tip for even
Speaker 6: turning it like that?
Speaker 2: After? Like, how's the date that it turned into uself?
Speaker 3: So let me ask you because this is actually something
Speaker 3: I experienced in in whole friendships. I like to call
Speaker 3: like when I would let my homegirls know that a
Speaker 3: nigga was a super easy trick, or he the sex
Speaker 3: was good, he was fun, there was a lot of money.
Speaker 3: My friends would then go after those niggas and he's
Speaker 3: for everybody. So you can't really be mad even though,
Speaker 3: did you get do you ever find yourself getting mad
Speaker 3: for maybe over sharing how how fun a trick is?
Speaker 2: And then people that you know.
Speaker 6: Now, oh yeah, I definitely have cut a girlfriend off
Speaker 6: about that, because so I used to have a client
Speaker 6: and he was iconic for what my set was, which
Speaker 6: is you didn't have to upset.
Speaker 2: He gave you a couple of stacks and so.
Speaker 6: You know, and literally any girl, I mean, like, if
Speaker 6: I'm out and about, I'm like, oh, bitch, I'm outside.
Speaker 2: We outside tonight, he's here.
Speaker 3: So but I didn't like the facts, so I leave,
Speaker 3: right and we had all just hung out, we all
Speaker 3: got our pieces. But while I'm away, I noticed that
Speaker 3: all of a sudden, he's following her, and she's following him.
Speaker 3: See what was wrong for me was that you that
Speaker 3: she followed him back, right, Like, this is a trick,
Speaker 3: so he's always going to be messy. But as your girlfriend,
Speaker 3: like for you to go follow my trick, It's like, no, bitch,
Speaker 3: this was never your ditch, right Like, this was my
Speaker 3: date and whenever I'm ready to bring you in, then
Speaker 3: you come.
Speaker 2: In this.
Speaker 1: And she literally, so I'm the mutual with who they followed, right,
Speaker 1: some niggas proper bottles whatever, and literally it's her trick.
Speaker 1: She saw what happened, She called me, and she said,
Speaker 1: send me a nigga that she likes. I said, no, bitch,
Speaker 1: what does she do? She said, I'm a fuck him.
Speaker 1: I was like, bro, please don't make me do because
Speaker 1: I had more loyalty to the girl who called me.
Speaker 4: She was like, I'm not playing, bitch, I'm going to
Speaker 4: fuck it.
Speaker 2: I mean, he was like it was.
Speaker 3: It used to be hard for me with my friends
Speaker 3: only because at the times this happened, bitch, we all
Speaker 3: needed money and I never wanted to feel like I
Speaker 3: was keeping my homegirls from paying their bills or taking
Speaker 3: care of their kids and stuff like that. So like,
Speaker 3: it was always really difficult for me to take it
Speaker 3: personal or be upset. Like if it was a nigga
Speaker 3: that I liked, that's different. So that's another thing. If
Speaker 3: it wasn't tricks, there's still niggas would fuck It wasn't
Speaker 3: like breaking bread. And if I brought them around homegirls
Speaker 3: and they even thought to following it, Oh, it didn't
Speaker 3: happen to me all the time. My niggas did hit
Speaker 3: me up like yo, it was so and so, like
Speaker 3: y'all really.
Speaker 4: Cool because she done slid in my ship.
Speaker 3: The niggas will tell oh, yeah, so you know, like
Speaker 3: the men are messy and ladies if you think you'll
Speaker 3: be a slick whether you think this nigga really fucked
Speaker 3: with her or not, they tell every single time.
Speaker 7: What well, I I'm a very private person.
Speaker 4: After this document.
Speaker 7: I was a very private person until my host pop
Speaker 7: blowing up. And I'm also a generous person. So if
Speaker 7: I did have like a customer or something that you know,
Speaker 7: I would you know, navigate it to a certain way.
Speaker 7: Like of course, if I'm eating, I want everybody to eat,
Speaker 7: but I wouldn't. I've been burned so many times before too,
Speaker 7: and like situations like that happened, so that just shows
Speaker 7: me too. I eat for myself, you know what I mean.
Speaker 7: I've helped out enough people. I did what I could.
Speaker 7: I gave a lot of connections, and I got stabbed
Speaker 7: in the back many times. So now I refuse which
Speaker 7: mine is mine? And you know, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 4: Now what is the safest way?
Speaker 6: Oh No, I just want to speak to something too though,
Speaker 6: because it's crazy. So I have a one of my
Speaker 6: old friends actually fucked one of my people and basically
Speaker 6: said to me like I was being selfish for not
Speaker 6: letting her deal with him, and because so what's crazy?
Speaker 6: These people ended up robbing me all the things, but
Speaker 6: I just wanted to say too, like I have encountered
Speaker 6: women who will say, if you don't give your partners
Speaker 6: or the men you're dealing with somehow, you're selfish for that,
Speaker 6: And it just fucked my head up because.
Speaker 4: That's called manipulation.
Speaker 3: No way saying that for it, because they won't what
Speaker 3: you got, no of course, like he gaged that she
Speaker 3: took him to Wendy's and I didn't even know he
Speaker 3: ate Wendy's.
Speaker 2: But I was just like, okay, that's some girls shoot that.
Speaker 6: For them, they feel like you're being selfish, and for me,
Speaker 6: I literally internalized it was like, you know what, it
Speaker 6: kind of makes sense, like if you're not worth it
Speaker 6: and I feel like you are disposable, then I will
Speaker 6: give you to the group. But it's like, if you're
Speaker 6: somebody that I feel like is lucrative.
Speaker 4: Bring back gatekeeping, because.
Speaker 3: I mean to be fair, because if they're spending money
Speaker 3: on your friends, it's probably less money that's going to be.
Speaker 7: Like that too, And I.
Speaker 1: Don't want to be Saturday and then the next thing,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm every other Saturday.
Speaker 6: I want to be Sunday when they bring out the
Speaker 6: offer and play.
Speaker 4: Okay, this is what I was gonna ask.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So to the women that are listening to the
Speaker 1: podcast out calls and calls, can you tell us a
Speaker 1: little bit about what you've seen has been safer and
Speaker 1: maybe ways to protect yourself, whether there be sights, you know,
Speaker 1: just anything you may have seen along the way that
Speaker 1: could be a helpful tip and save somebody.
Speaker 7: So when I before I stopped working, I would like
Speaker 7: do like mister number, look up, you know, and search
Speaker 7: the number for Yeah, after the whole thing, there's also
Speaker 7: like network of like girls. There's blogs and just like
Speaker 7: the clients have blogs about the girls. Because I know,
Speaker 7: I'm like on a lot of blocks. People are telling Almighty,
Speaker 7: my friends tell me, oh yeah, this and this and that.
Speaker 7: The girls have blogs too, and you can like put
Speaker 7: in a little number, put in a little name or something.
Speaker 7: Ask one of your girlfriends, hey do you know this person?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 7: Because the big one, the big fish, we've all they've
Speaker 7: all stopped at sure on our station, you know. So
Speaker 7: if you want to, if you're like, you know, open,
Speaker 7: and you have friends and you say, hey, do you
Speaker 7: know this person? Do you have any recommendations, you know,
Speaker 7: in calls are very iffy because like for me, I
Speaker 7: was like, I'm such an own person. I don't like
Speaker 7: people to know where I live.
Speaker 4: What about if you get a hotel room.
Speaker 7: Yes, so I would get a hotel room, like on
Speaker 7: the other side of town, on the other side of town.
Speaker 7: I was set up my custommers. Yeah, but she said.
Speaker 3: New York and DC were her best. She would travel
Speaker 3: from Florida. I would be candy ferocity. That way, it
Speaker 3: would get me in my house because trust, yeah, I
Speaker 3: don't feel comfortable in the hotel though.
Speaker 2: Really I feel you feel more comfortable home. So I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 6: For one, I just feel like I feel protected in
Speaker 6: my home simply because I know where my gadgets is
Speaker 6: at hell, like I know where to get my peace.
Speaker 6: You know what I mean if they come back to
Speaker 6: your house, right, Oh they've done that too, But I mean, well,
Speaker 6: at my place is like a bunch of cameras and
Speaker 6: like you know, when you're walking, cause you to stick
Speaker 6: by the door of the knife by the bed, like
Speaker 6: you know, the pepper spray, like you're gonna see if
Speaker 6: you jump or court too hard, you might not leave
Speaker 6: the same way you can't, Mike. But I also don't
Speaker 6: feel like for me honestly, Like I guess there's always
Speaker 6: been to this thing. I'm uncomfortable with telling people that
Speaker 6: I'm a sex worker. So it's like the fear of
Speaker 6: being at a hotel, maybe being a part of a sting,
Speaker 6: Like how do I explain that?
Speaker 2: And then I don't want to get a huh you
Speaker 2: know how big this podcast is.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, I'm fine with that now, but I'm
Speaker 3: saying no, I'm saying back then we I'm in Cocona City.
Speaker 2: And my titties out. No, but I but it was
Speaker 2: for me too.
Speaker 3: That's what it all like when into where I said,
Speaker 3: like dealing with the imposter syndrome because right, like I'm
Speaker 3: still showing up in certain spaces, especially corporate spaces, because
Speaker 3: I was a part of like the not just said,
Speaker 3: but like at a corporate ad agency, and so like
Speaker 3: I was out here in these streets. So it's like
Speaker 3: I had to try to disguise it anywhere I could.
Speaker 3: So it was like I always wanted a daddy, you know,
Speaker 3: to come to my house, and then I always played
Speaker 3: the you know, I'm an aspiring black artists okay, narrative
Speaker 3: to every day. It was like very much like give
Speaker 3: me my coins so that I can get out of this,
Speaker 3: because I wouldn't be your star.
Speaker 4: I love.
Speaker 7: That was a struggle, like you had to back in
Speaker 7: the days, you had to have a mood lighting. You
Speaker 7: couldn't say you were a sex worker, so you always
Speaker 7: had to have another feel like, oh, I'm a makeup artist,
Speaker 7: I'm a hair dresser, because back in the days, like
Speaker 7: when I started, you couldn't be there was no podcast girl.
Speaker 7: You were doing what you had to do on the low,
Speaker 7: like you know what I mean. Now it's more common
Speaker 7: and you can like, hey, you know, but back in
Speaker 7: the days, I struggled because I'm there. You'll be like,
Speaker 7: you know, you go to a club and you meet
Speaker 7: a guy and you know you're sexyprogress, Oh what do
Speaker 7: you do? Oh, I'm a model, not even not even.
Speaker 3: To agent that that far back when I was in
Speaker 3: high school, one of my good friends, her sister, worked
Speaker 3: in me and to be very clear, the stigma around
Speaker 3: just being a stripper none of not sex worker, you know,
Speaker 3: and of course there's the hierarchy of sex work as well,
Speaker 3: but a lot of women weren't even you know, cool
Speaker 3: sharing that they're a stripper. And now everybody videos, everybody
Speaker 3: is showing themselves in the locker rooms on the instagrams.
Speaker 2: It's completely different than even what what I saw going.
Speaker 3: But see to the difference was is that like we
Speaker 3: have a place in New York City, there was like
Speaker 3: the trans strip club, right, and so like for me,
Speaker 3: that was the thing, Like yes, I would do inkuos,
Speaker 3: but I guess I always had access to what was
Speaker 3: like an outcool because I would go to the club, no,
Speaker 3: in the club outside, you know.
Speaker 6: No, I'm like I can date it a little because
Speaker 6: I'm like just for the young girls, but it goes
Speaker 6: a little.
Speaker 2: Further back, like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what they got to see Tuesdays or te Thursdays.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I see every day. I've talked about that
Speaker 3: place on the shovefourdays and Thursday, but now I don't
Speaker 3: every day.
Speaker 7: I don't like these kind of places because like men
Speaker 7: go to meet trans woman and then they automatically get proposition,
Speaker 7: and so there is no places where like a girl's
Speaker 7: like us that maybe we are used to be sex workers,
Speaker 7: but now we want to meet someone, you know, and
Speaker 7: we want to have a normal conversation. There is no
Speaker 7: places like that, So I don't like to promote so
Speaker 7: much those kind of places because we need to have
Speaker 7: a place where we can be socialized and be and
Speaker 7: if you want to, you can, but it doesn't have
Speaker 7: to be the focus. When you walk in, like guys
Speaker 7: walk in, they're.
Speaker 6: Like But in terms of girls in sex work still
Speaker 6: when you think about in quoder alcohol, it's very much
Speaker 6: so in terms of safety, I think that is a
Speaker 6: safer way because I would rather meet you in person.
Speaker 2: You see me in person, so my rate don't shock you.
Speaker 3: I'm not sitting around nope, because there's a lot of
Speaker 3: like Russian roulette, and like for me, sitting at home
Speaker 3: and doing sex work at home, it's like sometimes a
Speaker 3: lot of wasted time, right because you're just like over selling,
Speaker 3: like marketing through the phone.
Speaker 2: This is who I love and.
Speaker 4: It was it really shows so much of comfortability.
Speaker 6: And I would rather get my coins in person. No
Speaker 6: shade too, because a lot of times the dates when
Speaker 6: I would use my photos would say that they didn't
Speaker 6: believe I was real. So when you see me in person,
Speaker 6: it's like, okay, babe, now you're not gonna play with
Speaker 6: me like you know what this is, and I guess
Speaker 6: I knew I could always make enough at night. So
Speaker 6: it's like, but the way that I would kind of
Speaker 6: like I guess police the situation or like safety measures
Speaker 6: is like I would ask them for my coins up
Speaker 6: front or Lisa deposit, and then I honestly knew to
Speaker 6: only go for a certain type of guy, like if
Speaker 6: you didn't have on a sue or if you didn't
Speaker 6: come across as that coinsy type of date like no
Speaker 6: shade shout out to Tay. Tay was a date, but
Speaker 6: I'm not going with you, like that's not what's happening.
Speaker 6: Like I need to feel like I'm leaving a very
Speaker 6: sickening set where you're gonna ensure my safety because you're
Speaker 6: even concerned about like somebody even knowing that right I'm
Speaker 6: trans and being in your building.
Speaker 2: So I needed they end date.
Speaker 4: You said you got to stick and pepper spray and
Speaker 4: this and that. So it's like, yeah, one of.
Speaker 7: These going out with what a bank I'll start, well,
Speaker 7: one of the I'll start with a bad time with
Speaker 7: the customer, and apparent sadly enough, it was a black customer.
Speaker 7: And this is maybe why a lot of trans women
Speaker 7: choose not to operate in that demographic. But it was
Speaker 7: a black customer. He came to my house. This is
Speaker 7: a long time ago, and he wanted to penetrate me,
Speaker 7: and I'm like, I don't offer that service, you know,
Speaker 7: or if you want, you have to give me more money. No,
Speaker 7: he didn't want to give me more money. He forced
Speaker 7: himself on me in my own apartment. And luckily I
Speaker 7: had like someone in the other room that I can
Speaker 7: call out to help with because it could have got ugly. Wow,
Speaker 7: So you had help, Yeah, I had. I always had
Speaker 7: like someone working with me in the bathroom or something,
Speaker 7: because me by myself one hundred and thirty pounds with
Speaker 7: these grown ass men until I started learning mixed martial
Speaker 7: arts and everything that I can feel confident now to
Speaker 7: protect my but back then I didn't have that.
Speaker 4: Now. Is that why some women choose to work with
Speaker 4: like a pimp.
Speaker 7: I guess it's the protection, Yeah, because these men they'll come,
Speaker 7: they'll try to get forget with you for free. They'll
Speaker 7: try to coerce you to do stuff by threatening to
Speaker 7: call the police on you if you don't do X
Speaker 7: y Z to them. Like it's really hard out here
Speaker 7: to protect yourself as a woman and as a business
Speaker 7: woman on top of that, in this whole and this shape.
Speaker 2: But to any bitch out there with aim, seek Jesus, right,
Speaker 2: I mean I don't.
Speaker 7: I would never say what.
Speaker 6: Because I just feel like to position yourself and depend
Speaker 6: on a man's safety when you're already you know, in
Speaker 6: survival or if you don't feel that what you do
Speaker 6: is survival, but to a certain extent, that's manipulation and
Speaker 6: he's taking away from like your sustainability because right, like
Speaker 6: in the end, you always get a short end of
Speaker 6: the stick. And when I think of pimps, that's usually
Speaker 6: some type of form of domestic violence. Right, So if
Speaker 6: it's not financial, then is definitely physical. And it's like
Speaker 6: if you're already in a position where that's how you
Speaker 6: choose to make your money, okay, cool, but then it's
Speaker 6: subjects yourself to that level of violence and then have
Speaker 6: to like lose this sense of yourself because not only
Speaker 6: doing sex workn do that, right, like always having to
Speaker 6: constantly put the value on yourself that a man give you.
Speaker 6: But then now this man's beating you, abusing you, and
Speaker 6: it's like you deserve so much more than that, like
Speaker 6: even if you don't know how to invest your money,
Speaker 6: protect yourself. For me, it's I would rather be have
Speaker 6: my comrade be a woman, right, whether it's trans or sis,
Speaker 6: you know, like the girl in the bad from the
Speaker 6: person protecting me, then the man giving me just enough
Speaker 6: to look just enough good, you know, to maybe make
Speaker 6: a coin. And if I don't make that money, somehow
Speaker 6: I become the problem. Like I don't know, Like that's
Speaker 6: a way, Like I've never understood it because I'm just
Speaker 6: like you know, I.
Speaker 1: Always thought it was because they either don't have the client,
Speaker 1: so the pimps telling them they're going to give you
Speaker 1: these people so you don't have to do it on
Speaker 1: your own the safety.
Speaker 4: But I didn't know that pimps take all your money.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought you worked for and they provide you
Speaker 3: a roof over your head, they feed you.
Speaker 4: I thought like some pims take, most pims take. I
Speaker 4: thought some were like.
Speaker 1: No, we almost had a pimp on him, but we
Speaker 1: decided not to be because he was beating bitches.
Speaker 3: As literally, they were about to have a pimp on here,
Speaker 3: and then he's on the internet where like they're outing
Speaker 3: him because he's been out here beating bitches asses.
Speaker 4: It was like videos from him in the Walmart beating
Speaker 4: bitches up.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh yeah, that nigga can't come
Speaker 2: on this podcast.
Speaker 4: He was like it was maybe an hour he interview.
Speaker 3: I said, bro, cancel on that, and he can't come
Speaker 3: up here. Literally, I said, girl, you've seen this. Ain't
Speaker 3: this the guests coming home? I said, telling him goodbye.
Speaker 3: You thought he was gonna come get up? Where can
Speaker 3: the people follow you? See you support you? Let's get witty.
Speaker 6: Well, you can follow me on the Instagram, Daniella Carter,
Speaker 6: Welldella period Carter said, there's that part. And I also
Speaker 6: have a film festival platform for bipop artist Knell's guestbook.
Speaker 7: You can find me on Instagram, Dominique Silver, I N
Speaker 7: t L and in campaigns and magazine.
Speaker 3: Honey, those will uh, those apps and all your socials
Speaker 3: will be in the description of this episode. But also
Speaker 3: if you loved our guest today and want to see
Speaker 3: them be a part of Cocomo City, you can now
Speaker 3: watch it on Amazon Prime, show Time and Paramount Plus.
Speaker 3: So it is all over the place, AP and Apple
Speaker 3: TV Hello World, Like just it's everywhere, So make sure
Speaker 3: y'all catch that it is k O k O Emma.
Speaker 2: There we got city. Thank you so much. Well, what's
Speaker 2: the surprise.
Speaker 3: Bottom ta y'all so much for joining us, and y'all,
Speaker 3: if you want to continue supporting Horrible Decisions, make sure
Speaker 3: you join our patreon as Patreon dot com back slash
Speaker 3: Horrible Decisions.
Speaker 2: Thank y'all so much. And this is me get another
Speaker 2: episode of Horrible Decisions.
Speaker 4: Pas y.
Speaker 1: I call him crying again, and I was like, bro, like,
Speaker 1: I'm just feeling real fucked up because I'm so confused. So, like,
Speaker 1: what happened when you hung up with me after me
Speaker 1: crying for three hours? You got on the phone with her?
Speaker 4: He was like, yeah, her and I decided to be friends.
Speaker 4: We had always been friends.
Speaker 1: Like, she wasn't as mad as you were, obviously because
Speaker 1: you and I were actually dating her and I've just
Speaker 1: been friends.
Speaker 4: That took it too far. Took it too far basically
Speaker 4: mean kissing.
Speaker 1: But y'all wake up yesterday morning and I see a
Speaker 1: text message or an Instagram message at six am?
Speaker 2: Yo?
Speaker 4: Did you get this too?
Speaker 1: Can we talk?
Speaker 5: So?
Speaker 1: I wrote her back and was like, hey, I don't
Speaker 1: really know what else to say. Clearly he was dating
Speaker 1: both of us.
Speaker 2: It is what it is. It's fine.
Speaker 1: I don't want to like anger myself and anymore. So
Speaker 1: now she's calling me on Instagram and I was like,
Speaker 1: do I answer? Type shit bitch?
Speaker 4: I was on that phone for three hours day ruined.
Speaker 1: What's ironic about her hitting me up? Because that's how
Speaker 1: the universe works. My mom was supposed to get surgery
Speaker 1: yesterday for a pacemaker, but she didn't. They're rescheduling it.
Speaker 1: So about six that morning, I texted him. I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm so fucked up about my mom. I really want
Speaker 1: to talk to you, but I know we're in this
Speaker 1: weird place, like I don't know what to do. That's
Speaker 1: what I said, and he was like, Yo, where are you?
Speaker 1: Like literally the second I saw the message was in
Speaker 1: the same time I texted him, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. So he might think me and my
Speaker 1: mama did because I never wrote him back. But anyway,
Speaker 1: get on the phone with her. She was really sweet.
Speaker 4: She was like hey.
Speaker 1: I was like, listen, I feel like Loki's still loyal
Speaker 1: to this nigga, Like I don't want to get on
Speaker 1: the phone with you and just be talking and talking like,
Speaker 1: I don't see the point, and she was like listen.
Speaker 1: She was very honest too, Like I told her how
Speaker 1: he came to visit me, how he bought me shit
Speaker 1: on Valentine's Day, how he bought me gifts my birthday.
Speaker 4: She was like, Okay, no, he didn't do that for me.
Speaker 4: But we have been doing X y Z. We've been
Speaker 4: planning a trip here, blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: Girl told us the same shit, told us both he's
Speaker 1: had a dream about us having his daughter, told us
Speaker 1: both about what if we were gonna enough together, told
Speaker 1: us both this shit made up the same wedding plans.
Speaker 4: Bitch kids. I had niggles, and then HI knew this
Speaker 4: bitch was right and real as fuck. The first question
Speaker 4: she asked me, like listen, I've been listening to your podcast.
Speaker 4: I just want to know, are you fucking him? Did
Speaker 4: y'all do this?
Speaker 1: I said, why, I'm fuckinghi Bitcherre you fucking him? She
Speaker 1: was like no, but I've been trying to do X
Speaker 1: y Z with him. Girl, the same shit, heavy, making out,
Speaker 1: heavy petting, spooning, touching each other, and then it gets nowhere.
Speaker 1: I can't believe I got played by a nigga that
Speaker 1: I ain't never gave me no dick.
Speaker 4: And what kills me.
Speaker 1: When I was on the phone with him, he was
Speaker 1: trying to say all these things about that wasn't well,
Speaker 1: it was this with you, but not her fed her
Speaker 1: the same line and it was like really tough, and
Speaker 1: it really fucked me up because I just kind of
Speaker 1: what is okay?
Speaker 4: What is the toughest part.
Speaker 1: To you.
Speaker 3: About feeling like a nigga told you the same thing
Speaker 3: he told someone else.
Speaker 4: There's two things. It one felt special with what I
Speaker 4: had with him, Oh bitch. Hold on.
Speaker 1: When he came back from Hawaii, the nigga went on
Speaker 1: a vacation. I was like, yo, he just bought me
Speaker 1: a necklace.
Speaker 4: I took it off.
Speaker 1: I've been wearing it, this turquoise necklace. If anybody sees
Speaker 1: it in my pictures, I've been wearing it. She's like, girl,
Speaker 1: I saw him wearing that recently. She's like, so, how
Speaker 1: the fuck y'all broke up? But he's still doing this,
Speaker 1: like obviously he still has feelings for you. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: has he ever bought you jewelry? She's like, yeah, you
Speaker 1: bought me this pearl bracelet from Hawaii, bitch. The night
Speaker 1: he came back from Hawaii, he slept in my house
Speaker 1: and gave me that same sheet. So but anyway, it
Speaker 1: hurts because I thought what I had with him was special,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna say this, I think he was in
Speaker 1: love with both of us.
Speaker 2: So this is really like a bit triggering.
Speaker 4: Because it's triggering bitch, well me, well me.
Speaker 3: And when I had the woman a woman call two
Speaker 3: months ago, he was telling us a lot of the
Speaker 3: same things, and so it was like, oh, you know,
Speaker 3: because we were just in the studio and we on Patreon.
Speaker 3: So the bartending Stephanie saw me a Mexican restaurant. I
Speaker 3: didn't tell the.
Speaker 2: Bitch you knew because I came in the next day. Wow,
Speaker 2: And I don't know if this is Karmic.
Speaker 3: I actually felt worse because she was getting a different
Speaker 3: story than I was. So first off, he was going
Speaker 3: by a different name with her, but she was aware
Speaker 3: of all his lovers, including me. I knew none of
Speaker 3: his other lovers, So hey, maybe this is karmic. Y'all,
Speaker 3: y'all know how I used to talk about being a
Speaker 3: side chick and knowing everything.
Speaker 2: So I thought, like a nigga fucked with.
Speaker 4: Me more, do you know? She sat across from me.
Speaker 3: And said, well, I think he loved me more because
Speaker 3: I knew about all his other lovers.
Speaker 2: You and the other girl didn't