WEBVTT - Ep. 357: Double D’s (Ft. Daniella Carter & Dominique Silver) 0:00:02.640 --> 0:00:04.240 Guess what decision we're about to make. 0:00:04.760 --> 0:00:05.840 Horrible decision. 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:11.600 May the fifth, we are pulling. 0:00:11.400 --> 0:00:14.280 Up to London, y'all's the day you need to block 0:00:14.320 --> 0:00:17.000 out in your calendar. It's on a Sunday, So London 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:19.520 surrounding areas, all the black people that live in. 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:22.400 Europe, wherever you at, it's your chance. That's right. 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:25.479 We're super excited to be bringing the last portion of 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:28.960 the Climax tour to London. If you came to our 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:32.480 show last year, this will be a completely different show. 0:00:32.479 --> 0:00:35.479 Wilder, more fun. Well, I did get on top of 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:37.240 the couple and do the sixth. 0:00:37.159 --> 0:00:39.519 And there was a woman who stapled money to her 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:40.960 cheek and started bleeding. 0:00:41.040 --> 0:00:42.160 But we gotta step it up to London. 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:44.239 We're gonna step it up, So head on over to 0:00:44.440 --> 0:00:48.800 hohorhive dot com and get your tickets now. Hey guys, 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:55.600 welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. Sorry, I have 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:59.320 to work on I have a day later. Anyway, I'm 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:02.400 your girl man aka. They had the sagon AKA deb 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:05.920 the first thing. I mean just no, I am down 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:08.600 to sick on the first day. So are you really 0:01:09.560 --> 0:01:13.640 If the vibe is there, yeah, you. 0:01:13.040 --> 0:01:15.400 Go through so many phases. I mean bitch I because 0:01:15.560 --> 0:01:17.640 let us play back. You're ready a few months ago? 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:20.959 Ready, like I am you ready? Yeah? Who I am 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:22.720 today is not who I was yesterday? 0:01:23.080 --> 0:01:24.039 Who beat the bar? 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:27.640 No? 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:30.759 Hello, going to introduces. 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:36.360 No, it's not I'm weazy many four And we have 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:37.560 two guests in the building with us. 0:01:37.560 --> 0:01:38.479 It was almost one. 0:01:38.640 --> 0:01:39.039 It was. 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:42.240 Lovely ladies in the building. 0:01:42.400 --> 0:01:43.040 That's right, y'all. 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:48.240 We have Daniell Aquarda and Dominique Sova I met last 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:51.520 summer because they are also the stars, well two of 0:01:51.520 --> 0:01:58.320 the four stars right of Cocomo City, which is a fabulous, fabulous, 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:02.040 fabulous But I'll be trying to these veneers be taking 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:12.240 this of Cocomo City, which is a documentary of the 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:17.960 lives of four black trans sex workers and just their lives. 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:21.200 They have a lot of other i would say supporting. 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:23.600 Uh people that are a part of the documentary as well, 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:26.600 like some of the partners, someone in the industry who 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:28.519 shares their relationship. 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:30.400 But it's just it's just get. 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:32.360 I've been really excited to see this doc by the way, 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:36.760 because and it's just done from high level, like because 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:39.480 my favorite documentary is to watch when I was younger 0:02:39.520 --> 0:02:40.320 and I don't even know what you can call it 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:42.920 was docuseries was I don't know if you remember Hookers 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:45.960 at the Point on HBO, but it always showed people 0:02:46.040 --> 0:02:50.400 super strung out and it was like really gritty and grimy, 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:52.880 and it was kind of like, okay, cool, but you 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:55.960 don't necessarily look at sex work as something that people 0:02:56.480 --> 0:03:00.640 enjoy doing. It's like a really low brown light onto 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:02.640 sex work and it kind of pushes out and think like, 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:04.120 you don't want to live your life like this. 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:06.440 And obviously there's a dark side to sex work, as 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:06.960 we both know. 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:10.600 But when I saw your dark and again, I didn't 0:03:10.600 --> 0:03:12.680 watch the whole thing, but I was like, oh, this is. 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:16.240 Done shot in black and white by a and also 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:19.760 a black woman, d Smith. I would love to talk 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:22.320 to you guys a little bit about what that is 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.920 in terms of being a part of it and why 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:27.920 why you chose to be a part of Cocoono City. 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:30.640 No, for sure, I haven't seen hookers on Point, but 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:32.200 I used to be one of the hookers on the 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:35.200 Point no check out. 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:37.440 But you know, they only showed like drug addicts. They 0:03:37.480 --> 0:03:40.480 very rarely show your lea. Yeah, okay, it was dark. 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:42.560 Yeah, I didn't see. I didn't do drugs or know 0:03:42.600 --> 0:03:45.480 about that. Then what was the point by the way 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:47.720 on hookers on the point? 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:49.160 Yeah? What is the point where area is? 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:51.800 Yeah? 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:57.080 Damn, I used to go to jazz Jazz Bitch's point. 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:57.760 They got all the shop. 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:00.520 And when I lived in park Chester, Okay, on the blot, 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:03.200 I think I was Erica then okay. 0:04:04.800 --> 0:04:05.960 At the point Okay. 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:09.760 So being a part of Cocomo City, why why tell 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:12.240 your story the way you did, Dominique? Y'all could go 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:13.880 back and forth because I know that y'all may have 0:04:13.920 --> 0:04:14.760 different reasons. 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:18.039 I feel like Cocomo City was a chance for me 0:04:18.240 --> 0:04:23.719 to be honest about my story and about my forced 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:27.679 survival or sex work that I had to do to 0:04:27.760 --> 0:04:30.520 make a living and be a part of society and 0:04:30.600 --> 0:04:33.000 keep a roof over my head. It was finally a 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:36.880 chance to take away the shame of you know, doing 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:39.200 what you have to do to survive when you don't 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:42.240 have many resources to help you out and you have 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:44.359 to get creative at the end of the day, you 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:46.240 know what I mean, And a lot of people put 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:48.640 shame on that. But then the same people that try 0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:50.480 to put shame on it are not the people that 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:53.840 are extending resources or trying to help or anything. So 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:55.600 you get to a point that you're like, you know what, 0:04:55.680 --> 0:04:58.200 fuck this shit, this is what I had to do. 0:04:58.600 --> 0:05:01.000 This is who I am, and you're gonna take it 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:03.840 or you leave it. And it also gives other people 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:06.680 power to live in their truth because a lot of 0:05:06.680 --> 0:05:08.640 people are not living in their truth, And if I 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:11.240 can do anything to help someone else live in their 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:13.839 tooth or find their path or something, then I feel 0:05:13.880 --> 0:05:14.960 like I did something right. 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:16.400 And Danielle, if. 0:05:16.360 --> 0:05:18.520 I'm not mistaken, you spoke about that in the dock 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:23.039 where it was like that there's actually sometimes trouble finding 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:25.720 work just because you're a transpoman. No, of course, and 0:05:25.760 --> 0:05:27.960 so it is a survival because this is how you 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:30.080 have to make money to survive. And I think it's 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:32.960 just a conversation like for me that at that point 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:35.039 in my life, it needed to happen the way that 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:38.760 it happened in like this very unapologetic way, because I know, 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:40.400 like for me, it was like I had like ten 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:42.760 years of actually being in the industry, being a part 0:05:42.760 --> 0:05:46.040 of community, doing a number of different initiatives, and so 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.720 every year here I am like going to these celebrity events, 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:50.719 and a lot of people didn't know that I was 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:53.520 still surviving, right because along the way, it's like, I 0:05:53.520 --> 0:05:56.719 have a daddy that can sustain the imposter syndrome right 0:05:57.000 --> 0:05:58.800 of me being able to show up just to exists 0:05:58.839 --> 0:05:59.200 for them. 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:01.839 So what do you mean you have a daddy, a 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:05.040 sugar daddy. Oh yeah, no, I couldn't just do a client. 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:05.800 That was. 0:06:08.520 --> 0:06:10.200 I was like, you can't do a ted talk and 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:14.520 do clients like the regular way, bitch. You were like 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:18.880 that because that way of life, that part, and it 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:20.479 was well, I think that's why. 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:22.120 I acted like I never did sex work until I 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:24.279 started to learn like a sugar daddy. 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:27.039 Yeah, no, daddy and the name A couple of daddy's 0:06:27.120 --> 0:06:29.839 got the girls through and even a woman at one point. 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:35.120 But hello, trust I say sponsor. 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:38.599 You know, well, I was in relationships and got rings 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:42.279 from some of these individuals, so I have to say daddy's. 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:43.280 I guess. 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:48.200 Something really curious about Do you think that there's a 0:06:48.240 --> 0:06:51.720 stigma of black trans women being synonymous with sex work 0:06:51.760 --> 0:06:54.000 because it's so hard for black trans women. 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:57.640 To find y'all, just trans women in general, because they're 0:06:57.760 --> 0:07:00.600 so discriminated again. So for example, I've worked in the 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:04.000 normal work first, and I had a job and I 0:07:04.120 --> 0:07:06.520 was trying to make a normal living. I came out 0:07:06.560 --> 0:07:10.800 of sex work and one guy, frustrated that he was 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:12.520 into me and I didn't want to give them the 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:15.600 time of day, ended up taking my advertisement that I 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:18.920 had an old advertisement from the magazine now to my 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:22.960 job and showed everybody at my job. So then the 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:25.080 next time I went to work, everybody was looking at 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:28.040 me strange and they're looking at my crotch and they're 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:31.280 like and they're treating me different. So it's like these 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:34.040 things like we tried to integrate a society and they 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:37.040 see there that then what my boss made it horrible 0:07:37.120 --> 0:07:41.040 for me. There's sexual advances that you can take. The 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:43.440 treatment is not fair, the schedule is not fair. Like 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:47.200 everything changes once people know that you're trends, which is 0:07:47.280 --> 0:07:51.160 really sad. So therefore what does the girl to do? 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:53.920 You know what I mean, You're being fetishized because the 0:07:53.960 --> 0:07:56.880 men are coming and they're getting their rocks off of you. 0:07:57.000 --> 0:08:00.000 They're selling you a dream, they're leaving you high end. 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:02.560 There's no exchange. At the end of the day, you 0:08:02.560 --> 0:08:05.400 feel like so empty. So you're like, Okay, listen, I 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:08.680 have this that people want. You know what I mean, 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:11.640 I'm going to use this to survive. 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:12.520 I have to. 0:08:12.760 --> 0:08:14.960 This is what I have, This is all I have 0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:17.640 that this is what I'm going to use and claim 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:20.640 my power to survive at the end of the day 0:08:20.680 --> 0:08:23.680 and make it an exchange. But with that comes, you know, 0:08:23.760 --> 0:08:26.920 psychological trouble, and you know from many years of doing 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:29.960 sex work. Now I'm in therapy trying to unpack all 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:32.559 of these things that I've seen, that I've experienced that 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:36.920 I've lived. So I mean, this is what this is 0:08:37.040 --> 0:08:39.480 our path, which is really sad for us. I've been 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:44.280 a trans woman for twenty eight years, and every person 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:46.800 trans person that I know has had to be in 0:08:46.960 --> 0:08:49.720 this path at one point of the other. I don't 0:08:49.760 --> 0:08:53.240 care how famous they are now. Before ever, they have 0:08:53.400 --> 0:08:56.520 had to pass this path because that's the only path 0:08:56.600 --> 0:08:58.920 that was made accessible for us to survive. 0:08:59.000 --> 0:09:01.640 How old are about it, I'm curious because twenty eight 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:03.040 years I'm looking at you, I'm like. 0:09:03.040 --> 0:09:04.440 I know, she looked the fuck good. 0:09:04.679 --> 0:09:10.199 Yeah, We're not supposed to ask a woman their age, honey. 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:14.040 I'm just happy to say I am forty five and alive. 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:17.120 I know that, Okay, amazing, I'm forty five and alive, 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:20.560 and I'm proud to say that every day because a 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:23.320 lot of girls that I came out with cannot be 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:24.920 sitting here today to say that. 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:27.439 And what about you, well, if you actually are we 0:09:27.520 --> 0:09:29.959 saying in transis actual? 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:31.880 I feel pre historic. 0:09:33.920 --> 0:09:37.840 I've been through, but I guess in human every day years. 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:40.360 I'm twenty nine getting ready to turn thirty. 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:44.400 When meeting a trans woman that is, you know, got 0:09:44.480 --> 0:09:47.640 ten years on you or whatever? Did you find that 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.040 did your relationship grow within the documentary? Did you know 0:09:50.080 --> 0:09:51.800 each other before? Like what's your relationship together? 0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:55.160 So okay, so I came out fairly young, so I 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:58.160 had a couple mothers along the way, But I think 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:01.400 what I didn't have was like these very like clear 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:04.480 examples that was accessible to me in terms of what 0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:07.440 I wanted to be and so like around that time, 0:10:07.480 --> 0:10:09.439 I would say, like when coming out, I like met 0:10:09.520 --> 0:10:11.439 Jane and Monk and like Laverne was my mentor, and 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:13.400 so you know, I had what they would say is 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:16.880 the pinnacle of the representation of a black trans woman, 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:20.280 specifically a media. But then I will never forget right, 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:24.200 so she knows I always tell this story. And we 0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:27.640 was at Del Frisco's, right, and so I've always been 0:10:27.720 --> 0:10:30.080 I guess that young queen that older queens kind of 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.040 lived for because I know how to get my pieces 0:10:32.040 --> 0:10:34.080 and my coins to sit at the table with them. 0:10:34.520 --> 0:10:37.880 You don't need the sponsor for. 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:42.120 Oh, I brought the sponsor with me, so they knew 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:45.440 that she had something in her head. But I remember 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:47.400 we were all at Del Frisco's, and I saw her 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:49.439 at the dinner table and a couple of girls didn't 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:52.360 have their pieces for the check, right, so they came 0:10:52.480 --> 0:10:55.160 and they ordered, but they didn't have the funds. And 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:58.320 so she's sitting there in this beautiful blue gown. And 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:01.679 when I tell you she was clear the table, No, 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:04.600 she was clearing it. And I was like, okay, I 0:11:04.600 --> 0:11:06.400 want to grow up and be like that, because the 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:10.120 way she cleared the table, she cleared in the dock 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:15.680 lay down clearence. 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:18.000 What does wearing means? 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:18.960 No? 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:19.320 Okay? 0:11:19.400 --> 0:11:21.160 So that's why women listening they're like, what what do 0:11:21.200 --> 0:11:21.439 you mean? 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:21.760 Okay? 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:24.319 So clearness when you get a person together, like when 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:27.079 you gather them like for not having funds for their 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:30.120 being crooked, coming to your house without the money on 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:33.800 the dresser, like all of those things is clearing your person. 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:37.080 And no, now you did this at Dale first cup. 0:11:37.400 --> 0:11:39.960 Yeah, so it was like a birthday party. My girlfriend 0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:42.440 invited me. I came. You know, it's like all these 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:46.120 trans women. I'm like, yes, sisters, whatever. But then you know, 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:50.720 the check came and then everybody was like turning there birthday, 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:54.480 no more girl. And then I met her and I'm like, wow, 0:11:54.559 --> 0:11:58.920 she's like so beautiful. She's young, she's youthful, she has dry. 0:11:58.840 --> 0:11:59.680 She has money. 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:02.520 She was reading. 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:04.679 She was reading, but she had to pay one hundred 0:12:04.679 --> 0:12:10.120 and fifty for a short cocktail because girls didn't want 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.080 to pay their bill. And she was like, oh, I 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:14.480 can't believe. And I was like I fuck with her. 0:12:14.920 --> 0:12:17.120 No, because they were all older than me. So the map, 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:19.440 like they said, the math is not math time. 0:12:19.480 --> 0:12:20.520 You want to come back to this place. 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:23.440 You can't be embarrassed, right, So fast forward, like we 0:12:23.559 --> 0:12:26.680 do the movie. We're doing the movie like de films 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:29.480 us and everything. She keeps it under wraps. She doesn't 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:33.079 tell us until when we're going to Sundance and she's like, oh, 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:35.079 you know Danielle is in the movie and. 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:38.240 I'm like, wait, whoa And I immediately called. 0:12:38.040 --> 0:12:42.640 Her up like this, we ain't talk about city. 0:12:43.960 --> 0:12:45.280 Where is Cocomo citing? 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:49.240 So is that a real city? It's there is a city. 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:50.720 There's Indiana. 0:12:51.040 --> 0:12:52.400 Okay, Oh, look, because you've been. 0:12:56.840 --> 0:12:59.640 If you guys actually look into it, it's a city 0:12:59.679 --> 0:13:02.080 that was reference in a song, like an old. 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:06.080 School song, way down in Coca. You make a sum up, 0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:08.760 but it's a oh that's a real Bermuda. 0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:11.480 Was not mentioned in that song. 0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:14.800 Yes, it was in Bermuda, but he says way down, 0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:16.319 don't don't say that. 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:20.480 I don't know. I know it's about Crocomo And. 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:24.240 Okay, Coco City is a song from what the sixties 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:26.520 or seven it was. I thought it was like news 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:31.160 by Cocomo Arnold, right, Yeah, maybe they need to tell 0:13:31.160 --> 0:13:34.679 this part Mandy research. I talked about it when I 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:35.880 interviewed the six months ago. 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:36.720 What it was long talk. 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:42.440 About old Okay, so that that man specifically actually had 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.439 songs where he talked about his love for trans women. 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:49.640 And this is forty fifty years ago, when, of course 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:52.280 you don't hear right, you know that in song? 0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:58.000 So I want to take it somewhere else, because I'm 0:13:58.000 --> 0:14:02.559 really curious. We hear a conversation within the LGBTQ community 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:06.040 about gay men hating being the gay bestie. Now we 0:14:06.080 --> 0:14:08.840 already know men fantasize the shit out of trans women. 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:12.920 What do women do? The dries trans women crazy? 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:13.640 Ooh good? 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:18.160 Like is there something that you feel like they're taking 0:14:18.360 --> 0:14:20.200 or maybe they like having a ticker like I've got 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:22.120 my transfriend? Or what is it that you see women 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:23.760 do that they may not know as offensive? 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:27.920 I mean just the thought that because we're trans women, 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:33.320 that means we want to have kids, deadbeat baby daddies, periods, crams, gagging, 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.400 all the things that since women are going through, Like 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:39.240 I honestly don't want to sign up for that, like 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:41.840 looking in my truth don't come with all that, right, 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:44.720 So it's like even comparing our womanhood, right because like 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:46.760 the way that I got like excuse me, the way 0:14:46.760 --> 0:14:49.000 that my womanhood and what that experience looks like for me, 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:52.280 it's very different. But I also know that there's commonalities 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:55.520 within our experience, right, Like I have Taytaylin and me 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:57.880 to leave your house to come lay up with me, 0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:01.120 So we's both dealing with an ancient But what we 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:06.200 don't realize in that moment is that we have the 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:10.000 same battles the right, like patriarchy, misogyny. But for some 0:15:10.080 --> 0:15:12.880 reason you want to compare your womanhood and your journey 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:15.680 and if you are forever shut out to you. But 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:17.560 just like what I know is like it doesn't matter 0:15:17.600 --> 0:15:20.200 where your womanhood is in terms of your ability to 0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:22.840 have a child or not. It's about what we know 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:24.760 we're carrying, which is a lot of men on our 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.640 backs and the bullshit that come with them. 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:32.200 Tell me, I feel the thing that I don't like 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:35.520 about what CI shinder women do. They feel like they 0:15:35.600 --> 0:15:43.120 need to intervene with relations between trans women or homosexuality 0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:48.560 whatever to try to make themselves the snitch or the 0:15:48.600 --> 0:15:51.680 person that knows everything and oh you know, oh that's 0:15:51.720 --> 0:15:54.240 the gay guy or you know that's a trans woman. 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:56.080 Like I don't know why you're talking to them. 0:15:56.120 --> 0:15:56.560 I don't know. 0:15:56.920 --> 0:15:59.520 Like people find that women are the ones who are 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:01.320 we're not the word exposing. 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:08.040 What it is is they create shame for the men. Okay, 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:11.080 and we know that understand the men, and then the 0:16:11.120 --> 0:16:15.360 men creates frustration inside of them. So what happens they've 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:18.560 turned to react violence on us. But I feel like 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:21.320 and this is the chain of reactions of effects. If 0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:24.920 women didn't care and like us, I can say sleep 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:27.560 for myself. I don't care who's sleeping with too. As 0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:30.240 long as you're straight with yourself and you are honest 0:16:30.320 --> 0:16:33.920 with who you're sleeping with. I'm okay with that. Okay, 0:16:33.960 --> 0:16:36.560 I'm not out here trying to control who's sleeping with who. 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:39.920 I don't care. That's not what moves my world. But 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:41.880 if you come into my world, I do want to 0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:44.000 know who you're sleeping with. So I have to protect 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:47.600 myself and then we take it from there. But women 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:50.680 choose to want to be Oh, you know, let me 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:52.840 go out. You're in the club and you're talking to 0:16:52.880 --> 0:16:54.720 a guy. Oh, I have to tell this guy that 0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:57.400 that's a trans woman so I can fill one up 0:16:57.760 --> 0:17:00.120 and have a bond with this person because I know 0:17:00.280 --> 0:17:01.200 something that they don't. 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:03.120 And we have to stop this people. 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:05.800 We just need to let people be who they are 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:11.679 however they feel. It's not bothering you, okay. And we 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:13.880 need to worry about what's going on in our own 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:16.359 house instead of what's going on in anybody else's house. 0:17:16.720 --> 0:17:19.320 And including in between their legs period. 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:21.720 You were about to say, you said, I feel like, 0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:23.680 so were you disagreeing for a second. 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:25.840 Only because I feel like to a certain extent where 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.400 I don't think that they always like, I think it's 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:31.480 unintentional sometimes when it comes to like how they out us, 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:34.679 because I think for some cis gender women, they feel 0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:38.360 that they're protecting their friends, right, and so it's like, oh, 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:41.520 because I feel right that what my friend has said 0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:44.240 to me is that he's a heterosexual man. They don't 0:17:44.320 --> 0:17:47.280 view trans women as women. They see that as like 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:51.080 a homosexual act or behavior. Right, So it's like whenever 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.679 it's like, oh, maybe my male friend is attracted to 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:56.359 this what they believe is a sis woman, they don't 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:58.639 know in fact that they may be partaking in something 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.160 that's considered to me get so weird. So I'm gonna 0:18:01.200 --> 0:18:04.159 protect them from that gay thing because they may not 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:06.919 see it as you know, because so a lot of 0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:09.600 women feel like we're it's like a form of like 0:18:09.680 --> 0:18:11.760 deception because of us being trained. 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:14.160 So it's like I don't believe that, No, I don't care. 0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:16.800 Really really think girls have a little bit. 0:18:16.680 --> 0:18:20.280 Of superiority coming well, also, you leaned into something though, 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:22.679 and at this point we're jumping around because I love 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:25.760 to get to I had a clip where Adam twenty 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:30.160 two sat with Ava, who's up and coming rapper from 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:33.679 the Bronx or here in New York. And she's now 0:18:33.760 --> 0:18:36.600 dating a drill rapper. So she brings the drill rapper. 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:39.440 She's trans right, she's trained, that's right, I remember. And 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:43.359 and so she brings her boyfriend onto No Jumper podcasts 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:47.000 and they have a conversation about it because he literally 0:18:47.080 --> 0:18:49.680 sits there and says, I love my girlfriend. I knew 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:52.480 exactly what was between her legs, who she is, how 0:18:52.480 --> 0:18:53.760 she identifies and everything. 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:56.000 But I'm not gay. I don't really don't care. 0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:59.200 Nobody gotta say it because me personally, like if anybody 0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:02.120 as I'm game like that, I won't see myself I'm gay. 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:04.000 Like for me, I don't think I'm gad or like 0:19:04.440 --> 0:19:06.600 I don't know, Like I scrolled into her page, I 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:08.600 saw her, I was like, I was looking at I 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:10.680 was like, look good, like you know what I'm saying. 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:11.560 I'm saying what I'm saying. 0:19:11.600 --> 0:19:15.840 And so there was that conversation regarding the title of 0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:17.639 their sexuality that came into question. 0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:19.000 So when you're saying and. 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:20.959 She's a woman post stop by the way, that I 0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:23.160 think that's why he was saying, I'm not gay. I'm 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:27.480