WEBVTT - Born on 7/11…Free Slurpies for Life 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:03.840 Wilmer has that I've been up for a couple of days. 0:00:03.880 --> 0:00:05.800 Look, yeah, set about. 0:00:05.800 --> 0:00:06.600 Why do you look like that? 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:07.280 You know? 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:12.720 I decided, uh yeah, that in order for me to 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:15.280 lose as much sleep as I possibly can. 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:18.240 Yeah, as you have a second child. Ah yeah, that'll 0:00:18.239 --> 0:00:18.520 do it. 0:00:18.480 --> 0:00:20.640 I thought, I tell her, we'll do it. I said, 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:21.479 let me try it. 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:23.520 A lot of my friends have tried this, like, I 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:25.080 don't want to sleep anymore. 0:00:24.680 --> 0:00:26.200 Because you don't have enough going on. 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:28.840 No, And I just talked to myself like, besides all 0:00:28.840 --> 0:00:32.120 the things that are happening and going on, like, how 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:33.960 can I put the icing on my sanity? 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:42.040 Right? Welcome everyone, This is Warmer Valderama. 0:00:42.200 --> 0:00:43.160 This is Freddie Rodrick. 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:45.320 This is Do Amigos podcast. 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:48.040 Thank you all for listening, and thank you all for 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:50.760 tuning in and downloading and watching it on YouTube and 0:00:50.800 --> 0:00:54.200 all that. Thank you also to all of our guests. 0:00:54.240 --> 0:00:56.840 We've had some really great guests and we have a 0:00:56.840 --> 0:00:59.720 couple of episodes. I hope people enjoyed the wisdom some 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:03.440 of them have brought to this space of serenity. And 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:07.640 we are smoking a cigar and I know what's up. 0:01:08.000 --> 0:01:10.640 You have to be can well see that back there. 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:12.520 Wimer has this great humid door. 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:17.000 We gotta just finish, you know, we'll have the cigar episode. 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:19.200 I remember a couple of months ago you brought out 0:01:19.240 --> 0:01:22.240 a cigar and you were like you were talking the 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:26.720 cigar up and you were you were telling me how fancy. 0:01:26.319 --> 0:01:26.920 It was made. 0:01:27.120 --> 0:01:28.760 But then you put it back in the in the humidor. 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:31.640 I want to because I just felt like, Okay, you know, 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:32.960 I just came back from occasion. 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:35.959 I had a couple of cigars. I didn't have to 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:36.480 have that there. 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:37.960 But we have to figure out because we got to 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:43.640 have the cigar my wife had, My lady had our 0:01:43.680 --> 0:01:44.880 second time, Yes. 0:01:45.160 --> 0:01:45.440 You know. 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:50.600 Me, congratulations, Thank you very much. 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:54.480 She is an absolute hero. She did incredible and I 0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:58.600 mean odd of what women do. Were you there, Yes, 0:01:58.720 --> 0:02:03.520 this is my second time. I'm witnessing my lady bring 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:04.560 miracles to that. 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:05.760 Yeah, it's pretty amazing. 0:02:06.240 --> 0:02:09.160 Just yes, I mean were you there when? 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:12.480 Yeah, it's unbelievable. You know, like it's impossible to not 0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:14.560 be like, can I rub. 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:18.720 Your feet today? You know, because you don't have to 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:20.440 push a baby out. It's like we need to do 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:23.960 more for them, right, But it was really beautiful shout 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:24.680 out to everybody. 0:02:24.680 --> 0:02:27.680 A theater Sinaide, joining a great house friend over there 0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:31.280 who really helped us with everything. But you know, Cedars 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:34.160 are really taking care of us two children now there, 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:35.639 They're just unbelievable. 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:36.720 She was born there too. 0:02:37.040 --> 0:02:41.000 Oh yeah, yeah, and he was born on seven eleven, 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:44.359 which a lot of people call me immediately like wow, 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:46.880 how cool, free slur piece. 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:49.560 As if you planned it that way. 0:02:50.040 --> 0:02:53.160 Yeah, and we know that he was supposed to be 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:54.200 born on the twenty fifth. 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:56.560 It was a do date, and he came on the eleventh, 0:02:56.600 --> 0:02:58.399 which was great because I was going back to work 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:00.840 on the sixteen, so he gave me a couple of 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:02.720 days just to be home before I had to get 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:04.560 clocked back into t n c I S. 0:03:04.600 --> 0:03:06.919 But where the name? Where'd the name come from? 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:07.120 So? 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:11.119 Well, so, for like so many years, the wolf has 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:14.600 been my spirit animal. I just love the wolf mentality, 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:18.440 the pac mentality, examily mentality. I love the way they 0:03:18.560 --> 0:03:21.720 organize for survival and all that stuff, and and and 0:03:21.760 --> 0:03:24.720 how they ride for each other, you know, and and 0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:26.800 so I always kept with that my friends, and you know, 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:28.960 like we're all kind of been subliminately the wolf pack, 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:32.119 you know. So Amanda surprised me with that. She's like, hey, 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:35.240 I really like Wolf, and I was like, yeah, I 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:37.120 didn't want to say like, I love it too, so 0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:42.280 it'd be like it's your idea, Yes, it's your idea. 0:03:42.640 --> 0:03:44.120 And I was like, yeah, that sounds so great. 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:47.040 Well you named this one, you know, because I obviously 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.320 got away with mine with Nicando, you know. 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:54.240 But but we both agreed Wolf was a cool spirit, 0:03:54.400 --> 0:03:54.640 you know. 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:57.360 And then his name, his middle name is Monte, and 0:03:57.520 --> 0:04:01.760 Monte and kind of an Italian means mountains. So we thought, 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:04.520 you know, she's the ocean. Her middle name is Oshiana, 0:04:05.560 --> 0:04:07.960 so we thought she's the tranquility in the balance of 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:10.200 the ocean, and he's the you. 0:04:10.160 --> 0:04:15.800 Know, the she's the ocean too, you know, to his mountain. 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:17.080 That's pretty cool. 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:19.359 Yeah, so it's been it's been kind of cool to 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:23.080 see if we're no longer here with them, Yeah, that 0:04:23.160 --> 0:04:26.080 they know they can have each other and coexistence. So 0:04:26.320 --> 0:04:28.240 they became a little bit more profound than than just 0:04:28.279 --> 0:04:30.600 to name. But so he's the Wolf and she's the 0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:32.920 honorable Geisha, the female warrior. 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:37.320 How do you feel about getting ready to wipe butt again? 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:38.960 That's three in the morning. 0:04:39.440 --> 0:04:43.359 I'm glad you asked and I'm glad you asked it. 0:04:43.400 --> 0:04:45.440 And this is gonna also turn into an advice to 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:48.720 every dad out there, whether it's your first, or your 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:49.840 second or your third. 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:52.480 I cannot stress this enough. 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:57.040 Change the first diaper, and change as many diapers as 0:04:57.040 --> 0:04:59.960 you possibly can could it is it is a privilege, 0:05:00.120 --> 0:05:04.440 an honor to change your sons or. 0:05:04.480 --> 0:05:07.200 Daughter's kulito to wipe that. 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:12.320 But yeah, like that, that is the most a beautiful 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:16.440 offering of care and nurturing you and your kid. And 0:05:16.760 --> 0:05:20.560 I'm gonna tell all dads also that change as many 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:24.840 diapers as you can until they turned one, so then 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:27.520 your wife will never be able to say that they 0:05:27.600 --> 0:05:28.560 never change diapers. 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:30.160 Are you guys on shifts? 0:05:30.200 --> 0:05:30.560 Are you? 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:32.880 Are you the are you the three o'clock in the 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:35.600 morning guy? To wipe the diaper, to wipe the butter? 0:05:35.960 --> 0:05:38.560 Well, we have to change his diaper every time he feeds, 0:05:39.000 --> 0:05:41.200 because every time he feeds, it gets very festive. 0:05:41.680 --> 0:05:44.000 It gets festive. Yeah, yes, yeah. 0:05:43.839 --> 0:05:48.120 It's like confetti, Like there's just a confetti little popper 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:52.360 that happens as soon as he tastes that delicious dairy, right. 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:55.240 And he's not on sid wait wait, wait till he 0:05:55.279 --> 0:05:56.640 gets on You remember that, right. 0:05:56.600 --> 0:06:00.960 Yea, yeah, and that's what I said, potato, So they 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:03.640 have solids, right to be like, hey, change to eat 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:06.440 that print, take it a break. 0:06:06.880 --> 0:06:08.840 And then when it's three in the morning and he 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:11.200 starts to have solids and she's elbowing you together. 0:06:11.279 --> 0:06:13.919 Yeah, and I gotta take one for the team, you know. 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:16.120 But you know, I actually don't don't really mind it 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:16.520 very much. 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:20.200 It's it's it's part of it, right, It's like part 0:06:20.200 --> 0:06:21.920 of the whole thing. And you just think about this. 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:26.640 One day you're not going to change a diaper and 0:06:26.720 --> 0:06:30.159 you'll realize, wow, I kind of that was a moment, right, 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:33.440 and it went and it no longer here. But Nakano 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.160 like she's you know, she goes and takes care of 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:39.120 her own business and and like, yeah, and that feels 0:06:39.120 --> 0:06:41.240 funny because she's like, I did all by myself, daddy, 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:43.280 and I'm like, but I want to help now. 0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:44.760 It's very funny. 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:48.560 But but yeah, anyways, is there anything that you learned 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:52.600 from your experience with Ncano that that you're like, I 0:06:52.640 --> 0:06:55.560 wish I would have known that with Nacano, But now 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:57.800 that I do know that I'm going to apply it 0:06:58.200 --> 0:06:58.679 with Wolf. 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:04.279 I think, like we practice a certain level of frequency 0:07:04.320 --> 0:07:09.320 at the house, you know, like there's no like high tensions. 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:12.200 You know, we don't you know, we don't have discussions 0:07:12.320 --> 0:07:14.200 or arguments in front of the kids. 0:07:14.240 --> 0:07:15.800 You know, like there's a level. 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:18.240 We also have to show a certain level of balance 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:20.480 when we deal with adversity in front of our kids, 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:23.880 you know, so they understand that's also a choice for them. 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:25.840 I think that's the biggest one for me. It's just 0:07:25.880 --> 0:07:29.560 to say, hey, you know, take a deep breath first. Yeah, 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:32.240 you know, And that's what we've tried to teaching account 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:35.520 As soon as she's feeling her emotions are hard to control. 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:39.520 Hold on, let's low down, take a deep breath all 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:40.000 the time. 0:07:41.400 --> 0:07:43.120 And now when you have your attention, okay, tell me 0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:45.440 what's going on, this and this and this, Okay, cool, 0:07:45.600 --> 0:07:48.240 then let's go. You know, let's change your socks and 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:50.760 it doesn't hurt anymore when you wear your little jellies, 0:07:50.760 --> 0:07:52.960 you know. Like so it's like stuff like that, that, 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:56.360 like there's simple equations that if you I don't know, 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:58.960 if you offer that, they have the choice to slow 0:07:59.000 --> 0:08:00.880 things down a little bit. So they can see the 0:08:00.960 --> 0:08:04.800 clear path, maybe it turns into some type of like 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:06.280 how do I see down the road? So I think 0:08:06.320 --> 0:08:07.840 that's the one thing I think I really want to 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:08.360 pass down to. 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:11.920 Why did you make that conscious choice with her? You know? 0:08:12.200 --> 0:08:15.120 I think I saw when I was really young, I 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:18.880 saw something with my family, my mom and my dad 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:23.880 that should have been a more frantic reaction. There was 0:08:23.920 --> 0:08:28.240 something that happened, you know, and it was like really 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:29.080 really impactful. 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:31.600 Right. It's like we were at some you know, we 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:33.840 were at you know, at a soccer. 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:36.640 Field, you know, and you know, some guys came up 0:08:36.679 --> 0:08:40.560 and confronted a guy and it like escalated very quickly, 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:45.000 and my dad, without missing it, beat, he's like, your soccer, 0:08:45.320 --> 0:08:47.440 grab your things, whatever we're getting in the car, gets 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:51.360 in the car, and then we left. But other people 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:54.400 were like running and this and whatever, you know. And 0:08:54.840 --> 0:08:56.640 it was the way that my dad and my mom 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:59.839 reacted to this high moment of intensity that told me, oh, 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:01.800 had a choice to kind of slow things down a 0:09:01.840 --> 0:09:06.240 little bit. Take it the breath one two through what 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:06.960 are the steps? 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:07.679 Pace one? 0:09:07.760 --> 0:09:10.200 Face two, phase three And and I've carried us since 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:12.360 I was a little since a little boy, you know, 0:09:12.440 --> 0:09:16.719 I haven't reacted with emotions first, you know, I kind 0:09:16.720 --> 0:09:18.960 of just like listen first, and I think that's what. 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:21.560 Then he listened to his environment, he did what he 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:23.560 had to do to get us out of there, and 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:25.880 then it made me feel like, oh, that's how you 0:09:25.960 --> 0:09:26.520 react to. 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:28.319 High tense situations. 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:31.800 Then, you know, then I had to teach myself, which 0:09:31.840 --> 0:09:34.360 they didn't teach me this part because they themselves, as 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:37.280 you know, our parents swallow the trauma, right, they don't 0:09:37.280 --> 0:09:38.640 deal with it, they don't talk about it whatever. 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:41.120 Then I had to teach myself later to like how 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:43.160 do I let it go? You know? How do I 0:09:43.280 --> 0:09:43.839 process it? 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:44.200 Yea? 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:46.520 How do you how do you grab that energy that 0:09:46.600 --> 0:09:49.480 you not suppressed but you process differently? 0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:51.840 And like what did it turn into for you later? 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:56.040 And you know, and it's not a very weird mathematical 0:09:56.160 --> 0:09:58.880 scientific equestion and it's just more of like, am I 0:09:58.920 --> 0:09:59.959 okay with what happened? 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:00.480 M hm? 0:10:01.120 --> 0:10:03.760 Check with yourself? You feel good? Okay? Cool? 0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:06.320 Onto original programming, you know, but I think that's kind 0:10:06.360 --> 0:10:07.080 of where it came from. 0:10:07.400 --> 0:10:10.120 And there's also you know, that saying I don't remember 0:10:10.160 --> 0:10:12.920 what the person said, I ali remember how they made 0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:16.400 me feel. You've heard that saying. I always feel like 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:20.319 with kids, you know, at that age, they only they 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:23.480 only absorb how you make them feel, right, And so 0:10:23.720 --> 0:10:26.120 like to your point, like, if there is tension in 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:28.720 the house, if there is arguing, is there you know, 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:32.080 they don't know what the argument is about, right, They're 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:34.720 only aware of how you're making them feel in that moment. 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:37.800 And so by you approaching it and being calm and 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:41.679 you know everything you just said, it's controlling how you're 0:10:41.720 --> 0:10:43.360 making her feel at the stage because. 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:44.920 There are a moment for you that when you were 0:10:45.040 --> 0:10:47.760 growing up that also made you oh, this is how 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:49.800 I handle this is how I deal with this, or 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.640 like this is something you have to relearn to do 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:54.400 later when you realize maybe it wasn't. 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:59.080 Yeah, yeah, I made a conscious decision. You know, I 0:10:59.120 --> 0:11:02.240 grew up around gangs and drugs and all that stuff 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:03.840 my whole life, and I sort of I made a 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:06.480 real conscious decision that when the kids were coming up, 0:11:06.520 --> 0:11:08.440 I wasn't gonna put them in that environment, you know. 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:13.000 I you know, as much as people made fun of 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:14.600 me at the time, they're like, oh, you're moving to 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:17.440 the suburbs. I'm like, I don't care. I don't want 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:21.480 to surround them around that. And sometimes what happens when 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:23.719 you grow up in that environment, and especially when you 0:11:23.760 --> 0:11:25.960 have kids when you're younger, people are like, oh, you know, 0:11:26.080 --> 0:11:28.920 you're you're not raising your kids with any street smarts. 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:33.360 But I didn't care about that. I just cared about 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:38.840 not surrounding them with the trauma that I underwent that 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:43.440 I saw, and how gangs and drugs and all that 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:45.680 stuff that I was surrounded with, how it made me feel. 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:50.200 Right as we talk about feel, you know, and you 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:53.160 talk about suppressing trauma, it was a lot of trauma 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:56.800 that myself and my brothers underwent growing up in that 0:11:56.880 --> 0:11:59.640 type of environment that we found that we had to 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:02.040 kind of suppress and deal with it when we got older, 0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:04.280 you know, because when you grow up in that kind 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:07.280 of environment, you're just trying to survive, so you're suppressing that, 0:12:07.559 --> 0:12:10.959 you know. So anyway, I just think that that that 0:12:11.240 --> 0:12:14.160 applies to everything, you know, whether it's whether it's Nakano 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:16.280 at home and you're choosing not to argue in front 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:18.240 of her and stuff. You know, like at the end 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:20.720 of the day, when you're young, you're only absorbing how 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:23.600 people and environments are making you feel you know. 0:12:23.800 --> 0:12:25.600 Also, the biggest one I think to me is how 0:12:25.640 --> 0:12:27.959 you treat others. Right, it's you know. 0:12:27.920 --> 0:12:30.920 You you you could be flowing how you used to 0:12:31.040 --> 0:12:34.240 flow with everyone in the but somebody else is now watching, 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:38.600 and you don't teach them how to handle their feelings 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:41.920 or you don't teach them how to communicate with the world. 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:45.240 They watch you do it and then they repeat it 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:48.200 a right and so, and you said that to me, 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:51.199 you know, you said, they're always watching. That's always watching, man, 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:53.840 They're always watching. They're always paying attention to everything you're doing. 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:56.760 And I've noticed that with the kind of since you 0:12:56.840 --> 0:13:00.480 and I talked about that, she noticed her. And see 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:03.640 the way she walks into a room. She comes to 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:06.000 visit me on set, and she's saying hi to everyone, 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:09.000 shaking anyone's hands. She gives hugs when they when they're due, 0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:11.960 and you know, and like she shows up and she's 0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:15.440 not She doesn't fear strangers, right, but she you know, 0:13:15.520 --> 0:13:18.600 she knows that when Daddy and Mommy moved, she has 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:21.640 to go too. She doesn't stay with anyone, but she 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:24.800 also understands the importance of like, hi, how are you, 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:28.520 I'm the condo, and it's like, and you. 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.120 Think that that's from watching you do that, because I 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:32.000 come in, I'm. 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:37.880 Like hello, And like the thing about that is that 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:40.360 is that, you know, you set a tone for how 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:43.000 you want that moment to be for you. Yeah, and 0:13:43.040 --> 0:13:45.160 she has control over that. And I noticed that, you know, 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:48.400 and I love you know, we both like, we both 0:13:48.480 --> 0:13:49.040 love people. 0:13:49.080 --> 0:13:50.240 We walk into a room, we. 0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:52.600 Like, well, we're going to have a conversation with anyone 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:54.520 who wants to have a conversation, right, yeah. 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:56.360 Yeah, And she's kind of developing that. 0:13:56.520 --> 0:13:58.720 She comes to work, she goes to a restaurant, the 0:13:58.760 --> 0:14:00.280 way she talks to waiters and whatever. 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:01.199 She's like very open. 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:04.559 She's like enjoying this and bringing people into her own experience, 0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:06.480 which I think is really healthy. 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:07.440 Yeah. 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:10.560 Yeah, that's really interesting. You know, even even to this day, 0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:13.160 you know, my kids are older and they still like, 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:15.600 every once in a while we'll say something and I'm like, 0:14:16.360 --> 0:14:17.840 how do you know that. They're like, oh, because I 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:19.920 was watching you, Dad. I saw you did this, or 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:21.960 I saw you say this, or I saw them. I'm like, 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:22.400 damn it. 0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:23.920 Even when you get older, you were watching. 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:36.800 They were always always watching always watching. Yeah, you were 0:14:36.840 --> 0:14:39.440 talking about wiping butt and diapers and all that. And 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:42.320 I text this to you when the day you had 0:14:42.320 --> 0:14:44.720 your child, and you and I were texting back and forth, 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:49.640 and I said to you, wait until your kids turn 0:14:50.080 --> 0:14:52.880 twenty one, for example, and you get to have a 0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:55.320 beer with them. Oh, and you get to look them 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:57.560 in the eye and you get to say, I used 0:14:57.600 --> 0:14:58.520 to wipe your butt. 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:01.240 I used to wipe your butt. 0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:03.680 I say that to my kids all the time. I 0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:06.600 used to wipe your but all right, dad, Yeah, it's crazy, 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:08.680 but it's wild when you look at your kids at 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:11.080 that age and they're older and you're like, wow, like 0:15:11.120 --> 0:15:13.160 you're a grown man. But I used to wipe here. 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:14.920 I can't even I mean, my my daughter is four 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:17.800 years old, and I you know, I look forward to, 0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:21.320 uh you know, to yeah, to like having a you know, 0:15:21.400 --> 0:15:23.200 have a little glass of champagne with my daughter a 0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:26.280 New Year's Eve, yeah know, or like going on vacation, 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.040 having pinacolidas together, like you know, like that kind of 0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:31.240 silly stuff, like you're celebrating life with your kids. 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:33.200 It's a it's a different feeling, you know. 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:35.600 And how do you think she's going to handle it 0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:38.680 was she receptive to love them. 0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:41.200 Yeah, oh, my baby, my baby is I want to 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:42.480 meet I want you to meet my baby. 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:43.720 I want you to meet my baby. 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:44.960 She calls him my baby. 0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:47.000 Not Somebody gave me a word of advice that I 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:50.400 thought was super important and said, someone said, make sure 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.800 that she knows that this is also happening to her. 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:56.160 Huh. 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:57.880 So when you have an only child and then you 0:15:57.920 --> 0:16:00.400 have a second child come in, Yeah, you know, they 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:04.680 could be that first impression. How you prep your first 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:08.720 child for the arrival of the second is absolutely everything. 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:10.920 And I realized that the more and more I thought 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:13.840 about it while he was in the belly, the more 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:17.520 it was reinforsing to Nakano that this is happening for 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:19.920 all of us, for the family, This is for you. 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.320 This is going to be your baby too, you know. 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:24.920 So she took a level of ownership. So she was 0:16:24.960 --> 0:16:27.240 asking when is the baby coming? When is the baby coming? 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:30.800 So when the baby came, she already wanted to hold them. 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.600 She wanted to put a different outfit on. She's like, 0:16:33.640 --> 0:16:36.840 I want to hold them, you know, And it's so it's. 0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:39.600 A really cool thing. And it really did. 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:41.360 Make a difference in her because right now she has 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:43.840 a level of ownership. When she comes home from her 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:48.600 little school or camp, her daily camp over here, she 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:51.000 runs saying, she's like, I gotta go, I gotta go 0:16:51.080 --> 0:16:54.280 kiss my baby. And then she like rolls into his room, 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:57.160 cases him, says Hi, tells him one or two things 0:16:57.160 --> 0:17:00.560 about school, and then gets out about her day or 0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:02.560 like she's going to go to bed, she's like she 0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:04.600 has to kiss him good night because that's her baby, 0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:05.359 you know. 0:17:05.440 --> 0:17:06.800 So that's been really cool. 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:09.320 Do you think there's like a maternal instinct that's kicking in. 0:17:09.200 --> 0:17:11.639 At this because it was the other way around? 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:17.560 Yeah, a pillow in somebody's face, No, no, no, but yeah, 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:21.359 so I think Nikano has really taken ownership of that 0:17:21.840 --> 0:17:25.480 and really has appreciated, you know, what he means. Like 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:28.200 to her, she's like wanted to share her toys until 0:17:28.200 --> 0:17:29.119 he reaches out for it. 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:30.840 Right Like, we'll see why when. 0:17:30.680 --> 0:17:34.000 That happens, you know, But for now, she's taken ownership 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:34.560 and she loves it. 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:39.040 Did your parents ever tell you how it was? Because 0:17:39.040 --> 0:17:42.040 you're the oldest, right, did your parents ever like tell 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:44.480 you stories about how it was when your sisters came 0:17:44.520 --> 0:17:46.520 home and then you know what you're reaction. 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:53.200 I mean I was like, you know, this is a transformer, 0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:56.639 you know. Yeah, like especially Stephanie. So I was a 0:17:56.640 --> 0:17:59.160 little older with Stephanie, but but with Maryland, we were 0:17:59.200 --> 0:18:01.639 one year apart, so it was kind of like, you know, 0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:02.879 it wasn't as. 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:06.840 Bad, right, yeah, you're apart, but I just was like it. 0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:10.280 You know, I was a tiny earthquake, you know. 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:15.120 So my mom has been very open about saying that 0:18:15.200 --> 0:18:17.080 she really wanted to send me back but. 0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:18.840 I really couldn't. 0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:20.000 But uh yeah. 0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:22.520 But but then as time went along, you know, I 0:18:22.560 --> 0:18:25.320 put my efforts into soccer, you know, the things or whatever, 0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:27.000 and I had all the outlets, you know, so I 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:30.080 became a lot more manageable. But my mom was like, man, 0:18:30.400 --> 0:18:31.919 I hated on a restaurant with you. 0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:34.400 It's like really really bad. 0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:37.680 Oh we would you act up at on the table, 0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:41.040 the table underneath the table. 0:18:41.320 --> 0:18:43.080 You know, It's like you were that guy. I was 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:43.600 that dude. 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:47.879 Yeah, screaming at a restaurant. Yeah, screaming on an airplane 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:49.160 like that, I think. 0:18:49.359 --> 0:18:51.760 Yeah, she did say in an airplane, I couldn't just 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:54.960 sit still, Yeah, I didn't jumping. 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:56.680 I had to be running around or whatever. So shout 0:18:56.680 --> 0:18:57.560 out to all the parents. 0:18:57.920 --> 0:19:00.440 Yeah who put you know, who put up with all 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:03.200 of that stuff early in your years. And and don't 0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:06.720 feel shy to tell your sons and daughters. You know, 0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:08.879 this is how you used to be, right, you. 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:12.080 Know, I do it, I do it. We we we 0:19:12.080 --> 0:19:14.159 we we shared that with them. How they were My 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:16.960 boys were so but they were they were cool man, 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:20.320 you know, and thank god they were. They were pretty 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:22.639 well behaved for the most part. I was such a 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:24.720 young dad. I'm like, I don't know how I would 0:19:24.760 --> 0:19:28.440 have taken having sort of a hurricane in the house. 0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:30.840 My youngest was a little more of like a hurricane. 0:19:30.880 --> 0:19:33.080 But for the most part, it was good. And they 0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:35.240 were partners in crime, you know, so they had each other. 0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:37.320 So now you've given the kind of a partner in 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:38.680 crime and they're only what. 0:19:38.640 --> 0:19:40.720 Four years apart? Yeah that's what changed. 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:43.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not bad. How far are you 0:19:43.880 --> 0:19:48.840 and your youngest sister, younger think eight years? Eight years? 0:19:49.400 --> 0:19:51.720 Oh wow, are you really eight years older? I didn't 0:19:51.760 --> 0:19:54.679 realize that. Yeah, and you and you and Stephanie are 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:55.520 only a year apart. 0:19:56.280 --> 0:19:59.360 I mean, Maryland, when you're a party eight years apart, 0:19:59.400 --> 0:20:00.880 and so she was the ay always right. 0:20:00.960 --> 0:20:03.120 Yeah, she came so late in the game. 0:20:04.200 --> 0:20:06.520 I never realized that that she was that much younger 0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:06.800 than you. 0:20:08.119 --> 0:20:10.199 But she's phenomenal. She's like, it's such a grade. 0:20:10.560 --> 0:20:15.440 Yeah, she's hilarious's dry, sarcastic, a little grumpy, but she's awesome. 0:20:17.280 --> 0:20:20.520 And how are your parents reacting to the new addition 0:20:20.600 --> 0:20:21.159 to the family. 0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:24.200 I mean, it's true, but they say, like, your parents 0:20:24.200 --> 0:20:28.960 are gonna love your children more than they love you, right, I. 0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:30.120 Mean you see that already. 0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:34.720 Oh yeah, it's like whatever they want, they get, you know, 0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:38.000 but you know, we all know that we are going 0:20:38.080 --> 0:20:40.680 to eventually inherit the job, you know, a good cup 0:20:40.720 --> 0:20:43.560 back cup, Like, who's that good back up in your house? 0:20:44.960 --> 0:20:48.359 I'm the good cop, yeah, Elsie. Elsie's the bad cop. 0:20:48.720 --> 0:20:51.840 She was, you know, like I said, you know, it's 0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:55.480 one of the downfalls of having kids. You're so young, 0:20:55.600 --> 0:20:57.680 you know, Like I was like a teenager, so I 0:20:57.720 --> 0:21:00.920 was still a kid myself, you know, uh, but but 0:21:00.920 --> 0:21:03.040 but I was I was firm. I was firm, but 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:05.760 she was she was definitely a little more firm than 0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:06.040 than I. 0:21:06.440 --> 0:21:15.240 Feel like you were subliminately defaulting into what your parents did. 0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:16.439 For you and with you. 0:21:16.800 --> 0:21:18.399 I think so, right, because. 0:21:18.160 --> 0:21:20.840 I'm like, I'm using the same terminologies and I look 0:21:20.920 --> 0:21:21.600 myself in the middle. 0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:27.359 Yeah, because what other example do you have, right, unless 0:21:27.359 --> 0:21:31.000 you're like reading parenting books. You know, I didn't read 0:21:31.000 --> 0:21:34.119 any parenting books. I was just like, you know, my 0:21:34.160 --> 0:21:35.840 parents were old school, and I think they did a 0:21:35.840 --> 0:21:38.640 pretty good job. So I just reverted to like what 0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:42.960 they did, you know. Minus you know, and both of 0:21:42.960 --> 0:21:45.000 our parents are from different well you know, my'm from 0:21:45.040 --> 0:21:47.520 Puerto Rico, but different sort of countries per se, right, 0:21:47.600 --> 0:21:51.200 And I think that's sometimes the parenting style or it's 0:21:51.240 --> 0:21:52.640 a little different from over there. 0:21:52.720 --> 0:21:52.960 Right. 0:21:53.119 --> 0:21:55.640 You know, you got the chunk lit that right? 0:21:55.800 --> 0:21:58.760 You can literally did you see it? In my eyes? 0:21:58.840 --> 0:22:03.440 I believe in that because the image of the chuklit alone, yeah, 0:22:03.600 --> 0:22:08.760 inspires discipline. You don't even have to use chunk unlikely 0:22:08.840 --> 0:22:13.080 way from your foot to from your feet to your hands, right, Like, 0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:15.520 you don't have to engage that just the symbol of 0:22:15.520 --> 0:22:16.040 the chunk clit. 0:22:16.119 --> 0:22:18.280 That's like, I don't know what that feels like. 0:22:19.080 --> 0:22:20.840 And that's what I don't want to know what it feels. 0:22:20.600 --> 0:22:22.639 And I don't want to find out that's what my 0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:24.879 dad did to me. Oh yeah, my dad. 0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:29.879 My dad used like right, he used the belt, and 0:22:29.960 --> 0:22:31.320 I didn't know what I was going to feel like, 0:22:31.480 --> 0:22:34.480 and because I didn't know what it felt like, I 0:22:34.560 --> 0:22:37.760 would just drop it whatever I was doing. 0:22:38.160 --> 0:22:40.440 So so it never it never got there, and that never. 0:22:41.200 --> 0:22:44.800 There was one time that my dad used. 0:22:46.040 --> 0:22:50.080 Shoelace. The shoelace, yeah, he dunked it in water. 0:22:50.680 --> 0:22:50.960 Huh. 0:22:51.000 --> 0:22:52.639 He told me to put my hand on the front 0:22:53.160 --> 0:22:57.320 and hit the top of my hand, not the palm, 0:22:57.800 --> 0:22:59.960 just over the head, you know, like over the hand, 0:23:00.760 --> 0:23:02.919 and he just like whipped it one time. 0:23:03.800 --> 0:23:05.080 Why are your hand? Were you stealing? 0:23:06.080 --> 0:23:06.680 No, my hand? 0:23:06.760 --> 0:23:10.000 Because my mom was trying to reprimand me, and I 0:23:10.080 --> 0:23:12.040 kind of stood up with my mom and it looked 0:23:12.080 --> 0:23:15.439 like I was gonna, you know, raise my hand. Yeah 0:23:15.560 --> 0:23:18.960 I didn't technically raise my hand, but like it looked 0:23:19.000 --> 0:23:21.440 like I was standing up to my mom, and my Mom's. 0:23:21.160 --> 0:23:25.320 Like, oh, okay, that's what we're gonna do now. She 0:23:25.440 --> 0:23:27.440 called my dad. My dad drove home from work. 0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:31.560 He drove home from work, and he my mom intersected 0:23:31.640 --> 0:23:35.119 him at the front yard, and all I'm hearing's like 0:23:36.320 --> 0:23:38.040 she's like, I'm just seeing their mouths move. 0:23:38.320 --> 0:23:39.760 Yeah, I can't hear it. 0:23:39.960 --> 0:23:42.560 But there was a clear shot from my bedroom across 0:23:42.640 --> 0:23:44.879 the living room and into the front and out the 0:23:44.920 --> 0:23:47.120 front door into the front yard where I could see 0:23:47.119 --> 0:23:49.520 my parents from my room talking outside. 0:23:49.880 --> 0:23:51.520 And then just like a movie. 0:23:51.880 --> 0:23:57.240 My dad turns beams his eyes across the entire interior 0:23:57.280 --> 0:24:00.840 of the house and into my bedroom run yard. 0:24:00.680 --> 0:24:04.640 Like the clin Eastwoods, slow mo, like yeah. 0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:08.200 And then he makes that content he goes, oh okay, yeah, 0:24:08.359 --> 0:24:12.119 he walks in airthing snow motion, earthing's terrifying, and all 0:24:12.160 --> 0:24:13.760 of a sudden, it's like me, me in the backyard, 0:24:13.800 --> 0:24:16.520 and I go, this is how I die. I go 0:24:16.600 --> 0:24:19.080 to the backyard. And the reason why I wanted to 0:24:19.119 --> 0:24:20.960 go in the backyard because we used to have those 0:24:21.000 --> 0:24:24.639 old the old tankers and the washing boards. You know, 0:24:24.760 --> 0:24:27.760 my wife used to wash everything by hand. Oh right, 0:24:27.800 --> 0:24:30.240 we didn't have washing and dryers, right, so my mom, 0:24:30.320 --> 0:24:32.840 my mom would grab the clothes and wash it. You know, 0:24:32.920 --> 0:24:36.760 she would board with the thing. But back then she 0:24:36.840 --> 0:24:40.040 would just use the same clothes to to wear because 0:24:40.080 --> 0:24:42.920 we didn't have the That was the fancy version I had, 0:24:42.960 --> 0:24:48.159 like the ri. It was just like simple tank withdrained 0:24:48.320 --> 0:24:51.120 and then the tank on the side with all the water, 0:24:51.240 --> 0:24:55.720 so she you know, half a coconut boom water water 0:24:55.880 --> 0:24:59.240 and then rains brains and then hang. My dad took 0:24:59.280 --> 0:25:02.400 me over there to that place, grab this key chain 0:25:02.440 --> 0:25:04.399 that had like one of those shoelaces that went like 0:25:04.520 --> 0:25:07.320 spira spir spirer spiral and they had like a little slack. 0:25:07.080 --> 0:25:11.160 At the end. He dipped it in the tank, put 0:25:11.160 --> 0:25:12.680 me to hand my hand out and then. 0:25:13.600 --> 0:25:17.280 One time and you know that like scream that it's 0:25:17.320 --> 0:25:21.320 like a dog whistle, you know, somebody hits you at 0:25:21.320 --> 0:25:23.160 the top of your head and you're just your your 0:25:23.280 --> 0:25:25.080 know and your body is screaming. 0:25:25.480 --> 0:25:28.960 But now the sound is not coming out. Oh oh 0:25:29.440 --> 0:25:30.600 that's what I was experiencing. 0:25:30.720 --> 0:25:31.760 Ah what. 0:25:34.240 --> 0:25:37.600 Yeah, like your face is making the face the voice 0:25:37.680 --> 0:25:40.440 is coming out, but voices not coming out. And they slowly, 0:25:40.840 --> 0:25:45.159 a tiny little voice starts like bleeding through your vocals, you. 0:25:48.240 --> 0:25:50.119 Know, all of a sudden it's like a full un scream. 0:25:50.560 --> 0:25:51.560 That's how painful that was. 0:25:51.760 --> 0:25:54.320 Oh, I never I never heard of that. I've never 0:25:54.320 --> 0:25:58.600 heard of the shoelace, A wet wet shoelace on the knuckles. 0:25:58.600 --> 0:26:00.040 You've never heard the heavier. 0:26:00.400 --> 0:26:03.120 No, I get why, but I've just never heard that's 0:26:03.119 --> 0:26:05.280 that's very creative. I wonder if that. 0:26:05.280 --> 0:26:07.480 Was passed down like this, well, I mean it's. 0:26:07.200 --> 0:26:15.160 Either that or like you know, power cable or or 0:26:15.240 --> 0:26:17.720 like they just rip down one of the wires that 0:26:18.000 --> 0:26:20.640 you hang your clothes on or yeah. 0:26:20.440 --> 0:26:22.200 Or like one of those two. 0:26:22.440 --> 0:26:23.880 But but you know, I will say, like it only 0:26:23.880 --> 0:26:26.760 took that one time and I never again. 0:26:27.040 --> 0:26:27.679 Yeah, you know. 0:26:28.000 --> 0:26:30.359 And the idea is that, like they just have to 0:26:30.440 --> 0:26:32.600 understand there's consequences to their actions. 0:26:32.600 --> 0:26:33.560 And I think that's important. 0:26:33.600 --> 0:26:35.840 And that's one thing I feel like the Latino community has, 0:26:36.160 --> 0:26:38.400 you know, they all explained to you three times what's 0:26:38.440 --> 0:26:39.000 kind of happened? 0:26:39.080 --> 0:26:42.199 Yeah, right, Like it doesn't just come out of nowhere. 0:26:42.280 --> 0:26:44.520 You know, you get strike one, strike two, strike three, 0:26:44.600 --> 0:26:47.199 and then and then when the chant. 0:26:46.880 --> 0:26:49.000 Gets right right or the belt? 0:26:49.440 --> 0:26:53.760 Was that was that a conscious like decision in terms 0:26:53.800 --> 0:26:56.000 of the parenting style or Amanda, when you know, I 0:26:56.040 --> 0:26:56.640 think it was. 0:26:56.640 --> 0:26:58.080 Like what you and I were talking about, all of 0:26:58.080 --> 0:27:00.320 a sudden, it just woke up in you like sign 0:27:00.400 --> 0:27:02.520 it uploaded from the parents. 0:27:03.160 --> 0:27:05.120 It was and she was with it like that same. 0:27:05.240 --> 0:27:08.000 Well, you know, look we yeah, so we've had the 0:27:08.000 --> 0:27:09.720 conversation like where are we at with this? 0:27:09.840 --> 0:27:10.919 What happens when this happens? 0:27:12.119 --> 0:27:14.159 And you know, we're both like, I guess we're going 0:27:14.200 --> 0:27:16.959 to find out when it does, you know. So we 0:27:17.000 --> 0:27:19.679 didn't really have a plan for it, but we had 0:27:19.680 --> 0:27:23.560 a philosophy that you know, you have to reason first. 0:27:24.200 --> 0:27:29.000 Somebody has to understand that, you know, and just taking 0:27:29.000 --> 0:27:33.199 the TV away it's not enough, like they have to 0:27:33.240 --> 0:27:36.520 truly understand what would just happened, you know, and you know, 0:27:36.760 --> 0:27:40.520 at this early age it's very primitive, it's very small, 0:27:40.720 --> 0:27:41.880 very emotional for them. 0:27:41.920 --> 0:27:43.560 It's just they can't control the emotions. 0:27:43.600 --> 0:27:45.720 They don't know the measurements. And you got to meet 0:27:45.760 --> 0:27:48.040 them where they're at so you can really communicate. That's 0:27:48.040 --> 0:27:59.479 what I think. But how did it happen for you? 0:27:59.880 --> 0:27:59.920 We? 0:28:00.520 --> 0:28:04.760 You know, Elsie and I we come from very very 0:28:04.800 --> 0:28:07.600 similar backgrounds. You know, we grew up a couple of 0:28:07.600 --> 0:28:12.240 blocks from each other. So the parenting style just fit 0:28:12.400 --> 0:28:15.560 right in because it was basically the same. Our parents 0:28:15.600 --> 0:28:18.639 disciplined us the same and so we you know, we 0:28:18.680 --> 0:28:21.919 had discussions about what we liked about it, what we didn't, 0:28:22.440 --> 0:28:25.040 and you just kind of learn as you go along. Man. 0:28:25.080 --> 0:28:26.800 You know, it's going to be trial and error. There's 0:28:26.800 --> 0:28:28.840 gonna be mistakes, there's going to be stuff that works, 0:28:28.840 --> 0:28:30.960 stuff that doesn't, and then eventually you just sort of 0:28:31.000 --> 0:28:31.520 figured out. 0:28:31.880 --> 0:28:32.080 You know. 0:28:32.960 --> 0:28:36.520 I think that sometimes growing up old school, I think 0:28:36.560 --> 0:28:42.640 that the disciplinary aspect of it is sometimes the scale 0:28:42.760 --> 0:28:45.040 is unbalanced, right, it's tipped a little more to the 0:28:45.080 --> 0:28:48.400 disciplinary aspect, you know, and I feel like that's no 0:28:48.520 --> 0:28:52.200 good because then I feel like the kids rebel against you. 0:28:52.520 --> 0:28:56.000 Right then there's a form of resentment that settles in. 0:28:56.720 --> 0:28:58.640 But then if the scale is tipped the other way, 0:28:58.680 --> 0:29:01.800 and it's like just just too much love and no discipline, 0:29:01.880 --> 0:29:04.640 and then sometimes kids tend to walk all over you. 0:29:04.760 --> 0:29:04.960 Yeah. 0:29:05.160 --> 0:29:08.000 So, so I think that there's we decided really early 0:29:08.080 --> 0:29:10.200 on that there was going to be a healthy balance 0:29:10.240 --> 0:29:12.400 between the two and you never needed to, you said, 0:29:12.440 --> 0:29:14.600 because obviously your kids felt like they were kind of 0:29:14.640 --> 0:29:17.880 in line with the energy. You're, yeah, yeah, the energy. 0:29:17.920 --> 0:29:19.760 That's a really good description of it. You know, we 0:29:19.800 --> 0:29:22.840 set a tone, we set an energy, and you know, 0:29:23.560 --> 0:29:26.160 kids aren't perfect, right, but but but for the most part, 0:29:26.200 --> 0:29:28.840 they got it, you know, and I felt like we 0:29:29.000 --> 0:29:32.920 implemented enough of that healthy balance that that it motivated 0:29:32.960 --> 0:29:35.320 them to fall in line. 0:29:36.040 --> 0:29:38.280 No, No, we we feel the I feel like we 0:29:38.320 --> 0:29:42.640 have a very similar situation that kind of has really 0:29:42.760 --> 0:29:45.440 taken to that frequency. You know, there's no fire drills 0:29:45.480 --> 0:29:48.640 in this house, you know. So yeah, that's one thing. 0:29:48.680 --> 0:29:51.120 I really will say that. It's like, it's beautiful to 0:29:51.160 --> 0:29:53.920 see that n I kinda has just really comprehended. And 0:29:53.960 --> 0:29:56.680 I will say it's probably the gift of being a girl. 0:29:57.440 --> 0:30:01.000 She has developed so quickly. She's so smart. Yeah, she's 0:30:01.040 --> 0:30:04.640 so intuitive, and she like, for example, like I'll tell 0:30:04.640 --> 0:30:05.840 you this, tells you everything. 0:30:05.840 --> 0:30:07.720 She's four years old. She comes up to me, she goes. 0:30:07.600 --> 0:30:09.520 Daddy can have some of this candy, but after I 0:30:09.560 --> 0:30:11.840 have my food, because otherwise I'm gonna have a Tommy ache. 0:30:13.600 --> 0:30:16.720 She she knew you were going to say. 0:30:16.880 --> 0:30:19.320 What your response was, That's okay, honey, that's a really 0:30:19.360 --> 0:30:20.000 good idea. 0:30:19.800 --> 0:30:22.760 OK, just do that. Absolutely you can have that. Yeah. 0:30:23.600 --> 0:30:25.240 I mean so like the fact that she has the 0:30:25.280 --> 0:30:27.920 sophistication to be like, I'm gonna predict what you're gonna say. 0:30:28.000 --> 0:30:29.600 I'm gonna tell you I'm gonna do it anyways, but 0:30:29.640 --> 0:30:31.120 I'm gonna but I want to have this. 0:30:31.360 --> 0:30:31.719 Wow. 0:30:31.840 --> 0:30:35.600 It's like where does she get that for three years old? Yeah? Right, 0:30:35.760 --> 0:30:38.280 Like where do you get that foresight? Like you're so 0:30:38.440 --> 0:30:39.120 aware of. 0:30:39.320 --> 0:30:40.160 I think reputation? 0:30:40.400 --> 0:30:43.840 Right's like you say it a few times and you're like, you, honey, 0:30:43.840 --> 0:30:45.560 you can have that, but you have to have some 0:30:45.600 --> 0:30:47.760 food because if you have that on an empty stomach, 0:30:47.800 --> 0:30:50.320 your your tommy can get upset. Yeah, and you said 0:30:50.360 --> 0:30:52.400 that in a few times that she's immediately like, I 0:30:52.440 --> 0:30:54.120 don't want to get a tummy ache. And you know, 0:30:54.280 --> 0:30:57.200 she doesn't have a sweet tooth, but she wants candy, 0:30:57.440 --> 0:30:59.200 but she'll have like the one bite and then she 0:30:59.240 --> 0:31:01.360 doesn't finish it. She wants ice cream, but she'll have 0:31:01.400 --> 0:31:04.560 like the one two scoops. So I think like for her, 0:31:04.600 --> 0:31:06.880 it's that kind of the ceremonial thing or having something 0:31:06.920 --> 0:31:09.480 that kind of like makes her happy, you know. And 0:31:09.520 --> 0:31:11.520 I think it's very cool that she like practice up 0:31:11.520 --> 0:31:12.840 and she doesn't excessively do it. 0:31:12.880 --> 0:31:15.479 So how do you how do you feel about And 0:31:15.520 --> 0:31:18.000 this is where we differ. You know, my kids are older, right, 0:31:18.080 --> 0:31:21.200 so like I was bringing them up before the sort 0:31:21.240 --> 0:31:25.600 of the social media and the invention of social media, right, Like, 0:31:26.120 --> 0:31:28.000 how do you feel now having a four year old 0:31:28.040 --> 0:31:31.160 and a newborn. It's just so different, Like people ask me, 0:31:31.800 --> 0:31:34.520 how would you have been raising your kids? I don't know. 0:31:34.560 --> 0:31:36.360 I don't know how I would have been, right, because 0:31:36.400 --> 0:31:39.200 it's like social media is such an integral part of 0:31:40.920 --> 0:31:44.360 even their social circles, right, and and them being young 0:31:44.440 --> 0:31:47.720 and being kids and being teenagers, and so how do 0:31:47.800 --> 0:31:51.040 you how do you how do you strike a balance 0:31:51.080 --> 0:31:52.840 with that or how do you I mean, obviously you 0:31:52.880 --> 0:31:55.120 must not be dealing with that yet, not yet, but. 0:31:55.120 --> 0:31:58.680 We are constantly talking about it because you know, she 0:31:58.800 --> 0:32:00.520 has other friends already have like. 0:32:00.560 --> 0:32:05.240 Little reass wow at that a tablet. 0:32:04.920 --> 0:32:08.920 In their hands, right, you know, but where they're watching 0:32:09.000 --> 0:32:09.719 like cartoons. 0:32:09.720 --> 0:32:11.440 And still like there's people. 0:32:11.200 --> 0:32:13.720 In her life right now that are like, you know, 0:32:14.160 --> 0:32:17.240 i'd like, you know, they come in to hang out 0:32:17.240 --> 0:32:20.320 with her and they go to a corner and they're 0:32:20.360 --> 0:32:23.120 just watching, watching the table the entire time for like 0:32:23.160 --> 0:32:27.840 eight hours, so you know, and I get the preference, right, 0:32:27.880 --> 0:32:31.280 Like some parents are okay with that, parents are monitoring 0:32:31.320 --> 0:32:34.680 w they're watching, and that's fine too, but I'm gonna 0:32:34.720 --> 0:32:38.600 delay that as much as possible. She watching a movie 0:32:39.320 --> 0:32:44.560 is a decompression reward, not like not like you ate 0:32:44.600 --> 0:32:46.080 your food, now you get to watch a movie. 0:32:46.280 --> 0:32:47.080 But we don't do that. 0:32:47.600 --> 0:32:50.240 So it's kind of like, you know, we're gonna eat 0:32:50.240 --> 0:32:52.920 our food, get ready for bed, and then we'll see 0:32:52.920 --> 0:32:56.000 how if it's late or early, and then if it's 0:32:56.360 --> 0:32:58.240 if it's too late, we're gonna go to sleepy time. 0:32:58.440 --> 0:33:00.520 And if it's early enough, then we can watch a 0:33:00.520 --> 0:33:05.080 few minutes and more. Oftentimes it's too late, right, it's 0:33:05.080 --> 0:33:06.960 like closer to eight, and you're like, well, we got 0:33:06.960 --> 0:33:07.400 to go down. 0:33:07.520 --> 0:33:08.600 And so she understands that. 0:33:09.440 --> 0:33:12.200 She understands that, you know, maybe she got distracted and 0:33:12.280 --> 0:33:14.800 kind of burned some of the time before she got 0:33:14.840 --> 0:33:18.479 ready to go to sleep, and so I remind her, so, honey, 0:33:18.480 --> 0:33:20.000 you were running around a lot, you were playing a 0:33:20.040 --> 0:33:22.920 lot with your other toys, and therefore, now we don't 0:33:22.920 --> 0:33:24.680 have enough time to watch the you know, a little 0:33:24.680 --> 0:33:26.880 bit of the movie. She's like, okay, Daddy, you're right, 0:33:26.960 --> 0:33:29.000 and then, you know, so she's a very conscience of that. 0:33:30.120 --> 0:33:32.120 But it is a struggle because I know that it's 0:33:32.120 --> 0:33:34.440 coming right. I know if there is a tidal wave 0:33:34.520 --> 0:33:38.200 of not wanting to miss out on what's happening in 0:33:38.240 --> 0:33:41.720 the world, especially when your friends are talking about it 0:33:41.760 --> 0:33:42.200 all the time. 0:33:42.240 --> 0:33:44.120 You don't want to be the odd but becomes part 0:33:44.160 --> 0:33:45.640 of the social fabric of her. 0:33:45.880 --> 0:33:48.400 So I think to me, I'm going to try my 0:33:48.440 --> 0:33:50.920 best to delay the arrival of that as possible and 0:33:51.160 --> 0:33:55.840 as late as possible. And you know, she still likes 0:33:55.960 --> 0:33:58.120 she still loves reading books. She's four and a half. 0:33:58.160 --> 0:34:00.000 She likes reading a book before you goes to sleep. 0:34:01.400 --> 0:34:04.840 I like telling her stories about this young princess named 0:34:04.880 --> 0:34:06.880 Na Kinda that lived in a mountain and how to 0:34:07.000 --> 0:34:10.160 you know, had a friend unicorn who could fly, and 0:34:10.280 --> 0:34:12.880 she went down to the village and save the town. 0:34:13.040 --> 0:34:16.719 And she was the smartest and brightest and you know, 0:34:16.880 --> 0:34:20.719 most powerful, you know, young princess of the land, and like, 0:34:21.600 --> 0:34:23.080 you know, and like, so I would tell these stories 0:34:23.080 --> 0:34:24.839 and she's like thinking about it and like and then 0:34:24.880 --> 0:34:27.480 she fought a dragon and she overcame that and saved 0:34:27.480 --> 0:34:27.920 the people. 0:34:28.080 --> 0:34:30.560 I call. So I can tell all these fantastic stories 0:34:30.560 --> 0:34:31.200 and she loves. 0:34:31.480 --> 0:34:35.120 So you're regulating sort of the TV time, movie time 0:34:35.200 --> 0:34:36.000 with books. 0:34:35.840 --> 0:34:38.520 Like it's okay to listen to a story and it's 0:34:38.560 --> 0:34:42.000 okay to read a book. So I think she does 0:34:42.040 --> 0:34:43.520 it right now. She's not like I want to watch 0:34:43.520 --> 0:34:44.239 the TV I wanted to be. 0:34:44.280 --> 0:34:44.799 I want to be. 0:34:45.239 --> 0:34:47.520 She wants to play. She wants to connect with people. 0:34:47.560 --> 0:34:48.960 Like if I'm in the office, she wants to go 0:34:49.000 --> 0:34:51.400 play with, you know, with Leo, you know, our producer. 0:34:51.520 --> 0:34:54.799 She wants to play with Lauren, our executive assistant. Like 0:34:54.840 --> 0:34:57.120 she you know, she wants to connect with people right now, 0:34:57.160 --> 0:34:58.440 and so we're trying to really. 0:34:58.280 --> 0:35:00.480 Expose her to as much all that's possible. But but 0:35:00.560 --> 0:35:01.040 to your. 0:35:00.880 --> 0:35:05.200 Point, like who knows when when all her friends are 0:35:05.239 --> 0:35:07.080 like did you see this and she's like, you know. 0:35:08.640 --> 0:35:12.440 Yeah, or the or the images of when she gets older, right, 0:35:12.560 --> 0:35:15.920 the images of of what her peer group is saying 0:35:16.080 --> 0:35:17.720 she should and even when he gets. 0:35:17.560 --> 0:35:20.680 When she gets her cell phone, freddie, Yeah, I'm going 0:35:20.719 --> 0:35:24.960 to tell her always rather talk on the phone then 0:35:25.120 --> 0:35:25.960 text somebody. 0:35:26.719 --> 0:35:28.440 Yeah, Like you. 0:35:28.480 --> 0:35:32.080 Got to keep that alive, your ability to communicate with 0:35:32.120 --> 0:35:35.920 another human, receiving the energy, feeling each other's moods, Like, 0:35:36.280 --> 0:35:39.600 you know, if you want to use the phone, call somebody, 0:35:40.520 --> 0:35:43.040 don't just text them. I'm going to try to see 0:35:43.040 --> 0:35:45.759 how long she can go with continue to communicate with people, 0:35:45.760 --> 0:35:48.640 because that's how you develop your ability to conversate and 0:35:48.680 --> 0:35:51.840 have real life conversations with people that are not hidden 0:35:51.880 --> 0:35:52.960 behind a text chain. 0:35:53.000 --> 0:35:53.200 You know. 0:35:53.560 --> 0:35:55.960 Yeah, it's funny you say that. I was talking to 0:35:57.400 --> 0:36:00.120 a kid, will Say and he was like, yeah, I'm 0:36:00.120 --> 0:36:02.359 hanging out with my friends this weekend. And I was like, oh, 0:36:02.480 --> 0:36:04.920 that's cool. Are they coming over your house or are 0:36:04.960 --> 0:36:07.359 you going there? He goes, no, we don't go over 0:36:07.400 --> 0:36:10.799 each other's houses. We're going to hang out online. And 0:36:10.840 --> 0:36:11.720 it blew my mind. 0:36:11.840 --> 0:36:12.800 I was like, that's how. 0:36:12.640 --> 0:36:13.279 You hang out. 0:36:13.440 --> 0:36:14.440 Yeah, what's fun in that? 0:36:14.719 --> 0:36:16.880 You know, Yeah, that's how And he was looking at 0:36:16.920 --> 0:36:19.160 me like I was crazy, you know, like yeah, that's 0:36:19.200 --> 0:36:21.920 how we do it now, you know. It blew my 0:36:21.960 --> 0:36:25.239 mind that that that the kids, you know, I'm sure 0:36:25.320 --> 0:36:27.239 not all kids in this generation, but a lot of 0:36:27.280 --> 0:36:30.320 them sort of lock that sort of like social interaction 0:36:30.800 --> 0:36:33.080 and then much rather do it in like chat rooms, 0:36:33.200 --> 0:36:35.400 and you know it's crazy. 0:36:35.560 --> 0:36:36.560 Yeah, it is crazy. 0:36:37.560 --> 0:36:39.600 Well, I mean, we wish all the parents at home, 0:36:39.840 --> 0:36:43.719 you know, all the serenity or the peace, all the happiness, 0:36:43.800 --> 0:36:46.800 you know, and we're definitely trying to call through it it. 0:36:46.840 --> 0:36:48.799 We don't have all the answers here, but we're trying 0:36:48.800 --> 0:36:49.719 to figure it out as we go. 0:36:49.880 --> 0:36:53.399 And thank you to everyone who related to the chunk 0:36:53.840 --> 0:36:55.839 and look it up. 0:36:56.080 --> 0:36:57.560 And for those of you who don't know what it is, 0:36:57.600 --> 0:36:58.720 look up chunk lit. 0:36:58.920 --> 0:37:03.400 Yeah, it's a mystical artifact from our ancient years, mystic 0:37:03.640 --> 0:37:05.200 rtifest you know, I think it was. 0:37:05.280 --> 0:37:08.279 It dates back to the Aztecs. Actually, yeah, that's where 0:37:08.280 --> 0:37:09.359 the Chacolta was born. 0:37:10.040 --> 0:37:13.040 Yeah, but they where they perfected the throwing style. 0:37:14.640 --> 0:37:17.120 If you like those amigos, share with a friend, tell 0:37:17.160 --> 0:37:19.360 him where to watch film, tell him where to listen 0:37:19.400 --> 0:37:21.520 to And this episode was helpful. 0:37:22.000 --> 0:37:24.200 I love you guys, Thank you. This is Wilmer. 0:37:24.000 --> 0:37:27.800 Valdorama, Freddie Rodriguez, and you watched and listened to those Amigos. 0:37:27.880 --> 0:37:28.560 See you next time. 0:37:33.000 --> 0:37:35.960 Those Amigos is a production from w V Sound and 0:37:36.000 --> 0:37:40.160 iHeartMedia's Michael through That Podcast Network, hosted by Me, Freddie 0:37:40.200 --> 0:37:42.200 Rodriguez and Wilmer of Aaldorama. 0:37:42.360 --> 0:37:46.560 Those Amigos is produced by Aaron Burleson and Sophie Spencers Abos. 0:37:46.560 --> 0:37:51.239 Our executive producers are Wilmer Valdorama, Freddie Rodriguez, Aaron Burlson, 0:37:51.440 --> 0:37:53.560 and Leo Klem at w V sound. 0:37:53.840 --> 0:37:56.120 This episode was shot and ended it by Ryan Posts 0:37:56.200 --> 0:37:59.239 and mixed by Sean Tracy and features original music by 0:37:59.239 --> 0:38:00.919 Madison Devin and Halo boy. 0:38:01.080 --> 0:38:04.520 Our cover art photography is by David Avalos and designed 0:38:04.600 --> 0:38:05.480 by Deny. 0:38:05.320 --> 0:38:08.439 Holtzklau and thank you for being here third Amigo today. 0:38:08.440 --> 0:38:10.719 I appreciate you guys always listening to those amos. 0:38:10.920 --> 0:38:13.080 For more podcasts from My Heart, visit the ir Heart 0:38:13.160 --> 0:38:16.359 Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your 0:38:16.400 --> 0:38:17.120 favorite shows. 0:38:17.360 --> 0:38:18.200 See you next week.