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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, works, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours.

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Speaker 3: Buckle up and hold on type We got it, avoid you,

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Speaker 3: and here it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: All right, nephew, thank you. Subject. He treats me like

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Speaker 1: a side chick. Dear Stephen Shirley, I've been in a

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Speaker 1: relationship with a man for two years and he treats

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Speaker 1: me like a side chick. I can spend the night

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Speaker 1: at his house, but I can't leave anything at his house. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 1: he has toiletries at my house, and he has left

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Speaker 1: his steeler's blanket, fold it up neatly on my couch

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Speaker 1: and asked me not to move it. He's a dog lover,

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Speaker 1: but he won't allow my dog to set foot in

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Speaker 1: his house. And he only weighs five pounds. I can

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Speaker 1: see if it was a rottweiler, but it's a tiny

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Speaker 1: toy poodle. On Sunday, his mom and dad called and

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Speaker 1: said they were stopping by because they were in the area.

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Speaker 1: He said I should go before they got there. I

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Speaker 1: get that it wouldn't be good to meet them for

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Speaker 1: the first time like that, but he couldn't have He

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Speaker 1: could have been nicer about it, or he could have

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Speaker 1: said I could meet them another time. He won't come

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Speaker 1: to any of my work events, and I have a.

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Speaker 2: Lot of them.

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Speaker 1: He said, we need to decide where our relationship is

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Speaker 1: going before he makes those kinds of moves. I don't

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Speaker 1: understand what that means. He's thirty six and I'm thirty two,

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Speaker 1: and for the past two years we've been having most

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Speaker 1: of our meals together, sleeping together, working out together, and

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Speaker 1: even hanging out with my two sisters. I won't let

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Speaker 1: him meet my parents until I meet his because I

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Speaker 1: don't know how to introduce him. If I say he's

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend, he might correct me in front of my daddy,

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Speaker 1: and that would be embarrassing. At our big ages, he

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Speaker 1: should be ready to settle down. When I look back

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Speaker 1: at how our relationship began, I didn't ask the right questions.

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Speaker 1: He never told me that he was ready to settle down.

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Speaker 1: We just started hanging out a lot and having great sex.

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Speaker 1: Have I let this go on for too long to

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Speaker 1: start questioning him? My answer to you is no, of course,

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Speaker 1: it's never too late to get what you want, and

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Speaker 1: you can ask him whatever questions you need to ask.

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Speaker 1: No longer how long it's been. You're still sleeping with

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Speaker 1: this guy, You're still doing all the things that you've

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Speaker 1: been doing. There's no time limit to this. But honestly, though,

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Speaker 1: I don't think anything that you do at this point

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Speaker 1: is going to matter. I mean, you should have had

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Speaker 1: these questions long, long time ago to ask him. One

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Speaker 1: of the main problems in this situationship, as you call it,

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Speaker 1: is there's no communication, no clarity. This should have been

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Speaker 1: established in the first year. So for you to say

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Speaker 1: he's treating you like a sidechick, it begs the question

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Speaker 1: why why is he treating you like a side chick?

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Speaker 1: Why are you taking this from this man? You can't

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Speaker 1: be a side chick if you don't act like a

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Speaker 1: side chick. For two years. You said you've sat back

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Speaker 1: and you just let this man do you this way.

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Speaker 1: Not meeting his parents, you can't leave you anything over

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Speaker 1: his house. He won't go to job functions with you.

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Speaker 1: You can't bring your little five pound dog over there.

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Speaker 1: What more do you need to realize that he's not

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Speaker 1: feeling you like that after two years? I mean, what

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Speaker 1: are you waiting for? Come on, You've already given him

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Speaker 1: two years of your life. In his mind, you are

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Speaker 1: just a side chick, and he makes sure you know it.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you should continue to allow him to

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Speaker 1: disrespect you or whatever. Trust me, he knows exactly what

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Speaker 1: he's doing. You're the one that's in the dark. If

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Speaker 1: you're not a number number two, then let him know that.

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Speaker 1: Let him know it today, Steve.

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Speaker 3: He treats me like a side chick. No, no, that's

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Speaker 3: not how he's treating you. You're allowing him to treat

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Speaker 3: you like a side chick.

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Speaker 2: That's all this letter is.

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Speaker 3: You've allowed behavior to continue and to go on without

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Speaker 3: any checks and balances.

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Speaker 2: So this is what we do.

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Speaker 3: If you allow us to run over you, you're fin

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Speaker 3: to have tire marks all over your back because that's

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Speaker 3: what you want, that's what you accept. Ladies, come on here,

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Speaker 3: when are women going to understand that you have a

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Speaker 3: say so in your own life? You have the right

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Speaker 3: to know where our relationship is going and what it

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Speaker 3: is at all times, even from the very beginning. Now

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Speaker 3: I've been in relationship with a man for two years.

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Speaker 3: He treats me like a side chick. Let's just stop this.

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Speaker 3: You're allowing him. I can spend the night at his house,

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Speaker 3: but I can't leave anything at his house. He got

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Speaker 3: people coming over there and can't be no traces to

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Speaker 3: you in now. Meanwhile, he has toilet trees at my house,

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Speaker 3: and he just left his steeler blanket, fold it up

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Speaker 3: neatly on my couch and asked me not to move it.

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Speaker 2: That's cause you don't have nobody else coming over there.

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Speaker 3: And he can leave tilet trees and the blanket or

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Speaker 3: whatever he won't, but you can't do the same thing.

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Speaker 2: How did you even allow this to happen?

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Speaker 3: How he's a dog lover, but he won't allow my

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Speaker 3: dog to set foot in his house.

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Speaker 2: Well, he don't love yo dog. He a dog level,

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Speaker 2: but not yo dog.

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Speaker 3: I could see if it were rot wilder, but it's

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Speaker 3: a tiny toy poodle. On Sunday, his mom and dad

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Speaker 3: called and said they were stopping by because they were

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Speaker 3: in the error.

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Speaker 2: He said, I should go before they got there.

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Speaker 3: I get that it wouldn't be good to meet them

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Speaker 3: for the first time like that, but he could have

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Speaker 3: been nicer about it, or he could have said I

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Speaker 3: could meet them another time.

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Speaker 2: Now, you got to get out out. My mom and

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Speaker 2: daddy coming. You got to get out. I don't want

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Speaker 2: them to meet you.

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Speaker 3: Ladies, If you've been dating a man for two years

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Speaker 3: and you ain't met his mom and daddy.

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Speaker 2: Boy that you're not it. You're not.

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Speaker 3: If you've been with a man for two years in

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Speaker 3: what you think is a committed relationship and you haven't

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Speaker 3: met his parents, but in two years, it's because you're

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Speaker 3: not it. He won't come to any of my work events,

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Speaker 3: and I have a lot of them. Now, listen to

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Speaker 3: this line he said, we need to decide where our

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Speaker 3: relationship is going before we make those kinds of moves.

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Speaker 3: You ain't made up your mind in two years, then

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Speaker 3: it ain't going nowhere.

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Speaker 1: Right Hang on, Steve, We'll have part two of your

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Speaker 1: response coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour.

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Speaker 1: Today's Strawberry letter subject he treats me like a side chick.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: four hundred or Globelife radio dot com. All right, come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject is he treats

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Speaker 1: me like a side chick.

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Speaker 3: You know what, child, this is really a sad letter

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Speaker 3: from this thirty two year old woman who's claiming that

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Speaker 3: her man is treating her like a side chick. I

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Speaker 3: just want to tell you this that that's what the

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Speaker 3: treatment you've allowed, even from day one. I mean, you

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Speaker 3: can't leave nothing at his house, but in the meantime

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Speaker 3: he got taller trees and a football stealer's blanket over

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Speaker 3: your house, folded up.

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Speaker 2: On the couch and ask you not to move it.

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Speaker 3: You can't leave nothing at his house because he got

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Speaker 3: people coming over there, and he don't need no signs

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Speaker 3: of another woman. He's a dog lover. Bit he don't

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Speaker 3: let your dog come over, so he don't love your dog.

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Speaker 3: What kind of dog lover is he?

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Speaker 2: The loved dogs? They don't his mom.

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Speaker 3: On Sunday, his mom and dad call said they were

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Speaker 3: stopping by because they was in the area.

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Speaker 2: He told you you should go before they got there.

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Speaker 3: Then you justified by saying I get that it wouldn't

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Speaker 3: be good to meet them for the first time like that.

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Speaker 3: But he could have been nicer about it, or would

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Speaker 3: have said I could meet them another time.

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Speaker 2: He ain't never told you you could meet them. You've

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Speaker 2: been dating for two years.

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Speaker 3: If you ain't met the man's mama boy in two years,

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Speaker 3: it's because you're not the one. He won't come to

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Speaker 3: any of my work events, and I have a lot

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Speaker 3: of them. He said, we need to decide where our

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Speaker 3: relationship is going before we make those kinds of moves.

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Speaker 2: It's been two years.

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Speaker 3: They ain't a man living that's been with a woman

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Speaker 3: study for two years and don't know where it's going.

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Speaker 2: We just ain't told.

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Speaker 3: You I don't understand what that means. It means you're

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Speaker 3: not the one. I'm sorry, sister, that's what this means.

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Speaker 3: He's thirty six and I'm thirty two, and for the

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Speaker 3: past few year, two years, we've been having most of

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Speaker 3: our meals together, sleeping together, working out together, and even

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Speaker 3: hanging out with my two sisters. Yeah, but you ain't

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Speaker 3: been with none of his family. I won't let him

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Speaker 3: meet my parents until I met his, and he don't

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Speaker 3: care nothing about meeting your mom and daddy. That ain't

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Speaker 3: bothering him. He ain't never asked you to meet them,

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Speaker 3: But when his mom and daddy was coming over his house,

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Speaker 3: you got to go.

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Speaker 2: Sister. Come on now, I won't let him meet my

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Speaker 2: parents until I met he is. Well, you ain't gonna

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Speaker 2: he ain't gonna never meet.

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Speaker 3: Him because I don't know how to introduce him. If

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Speaker 3: I say he's my boyfriend, he might correct me in

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Speaker 3: front of my daddy, and that would be in better.

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Speaker 3: If this ain't your boyfriend after two years, what are

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Speaker 3: you doing if you can't call him your boyfriend? You

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Speaker 3: just said y'all do everything together, spend the night, eat

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Speaker 3: all your meals, sleeping together, you work out together, even

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Speaker 3: hang out with your two sisters.

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Speaker 2: But that ain't your boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: When I look back on how that situation began, I

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Speaker 3: didn't ask the right questions. He never told me he

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Speaker 3: was ready to settle down. We just started hanging out

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Speaker 3: a lot and having a great sex. Have I let

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Speaker 3: this go on for too long to start questioning him.

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Speaker 3: Let me tell you what you went too far without

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Speaker 3: and listen to me, careful, ladies, you went too long

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Speaker 3: without defining your relationship.

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Speaker 2: You need a definition of what you have.

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Speaker 3: And ladies, you have every right to have a definition

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Speaker 3: of what you have because you're giving him your.

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Speaker 2: Most precious item that you have, your body. Now.

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Speaker 3: You can give that to him, but he ain't got

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Speaker 3: to give you a definition.

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Speaker 2: Are you crazy? Are you kidding me?

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Speaker 3: You lay in this bed with this man, y'all eat

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Speaker 3: all your meals together. He got tall the trees in

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Speaker 3: your house, y'all sleep together, you have great sex together.

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Speaker 2: But you can't ask him what is this we have?

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Speaker 3: You can't even run the risk of introducing him as

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Speaker 3: your boyfriend. Ladies, stop being in a relationship not knowing

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Speaker 3: what it is. You're not in a relationship, You're in

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Speaker 3: a situation. You can't even meet his mom and daddy.

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Speaker 3: He told you to get out when he was coming over,

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Speaker 3: and then you said, well, I'm not gonna introduce something

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Speaker 3: to my parents till i'd have met his.

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Speaker 2: He ain't never asked you to meet your parents.

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Speaker 3: He has no interest in meeting your parents.

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Speaker 2: Because you're not requiring a definition.

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Speaker 3: Stop this letter right now and get a definition from

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Speaker 3: this man of what you have. You may find out

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Speaker 3: that you have nothing. And if you have nothing, then

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Speaker 3: what are you in it for? I feel sorry for

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Speaker 3: the sister.

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Speaker 1: Really, don't give up two more years.

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Speaker 3: Two years and you can't even call him your boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: Two years and you ain't met his mama? What how

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Speaker 3: you dating a man's steady all the time and you

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Speaker 3: ain't met his parents yet?

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Speaker 2: And they in town because they stop back.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they stay right over.

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Speaker 2: Now that's crazy. This is it?

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Speaker 1: Really really is? Now? What about the part when when

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Speaker 1: he said, Steve, we need to decide where our relationship

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Speaker 1: is going before we make those kinds of moves.

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Speaker 3: Is that he's well, he's already decided. He just ain't

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Speaker 3: let you know now to buying time? Is we need

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Speaker 3: to decide? Okay, Look, the Bible says when a man finded.

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Speaker 1: The wife, you find it a good thing and find

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Speaker 1: favor with the Lord.

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Speaker 3: He ain't found you. You ain't it. You can't even

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Speaker 3: leave nothing at his house. And you're absolutely right. He

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Speaker 3: never told me he was ready to settle down because

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Speaker 3: he ain't settled down. You can't leave nothing at his house.

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Speaker 3: They get all this to what you're doing. Hey, take

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Speaker 3: this secret with you.

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Speaker 2: Don't all right?

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Steve, leave your comments.

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Speaker 2: Hey, you can't leave this summer's eve over here.

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Speaker 1: A little j Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Facebook, at

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM and check us out on the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast.

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Speaker 2: Makeupiscil, get it.

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Speaker 1: Radio app coming up next in his junior and sports talk.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show, No.

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Speaker 1: One and All, the Stay Show in the head