Speaker 1: Second date, up date.
Speaker 2: Nothing worse than coming off of a first date knowing
Speaker 2: that you made a mistakes that feeling too well, he
Speaker 2: just brought up a bunch of memories from like last week. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was like, man, I never should have ordered the
Speaker 2: King Crab while I'm definitely allergic to shelfing.
Speaker 1: What was I thinking?
Speaker 3: But it's impressive when you do it, because it means
Speaker 3: you're bawling out.
Speaker 2: If I just keep stabbing myself in the neck with
Speaker 2: an EpiPen every five minutes, I can get through this.
Speaker 3: And the mouth counts as a first kiss.
Speaker 2: Turned on by one of our listeners wrote to the
Speaker 2: show saying he knows that he messed up, but he's
Speaker 2: hoping that his date didn't notice. The thing is, once
Speaker 2: I read what the mistake was, I mean, how could
Speaker 2: she not know?
Speaker 1: Welcome to the show. What were you thinking?
Speaker 4: Well, you know, I don't know what I was thinking.
Speaker 4: I thought if I if I just kind of.
Speaker 5: Brought a little like added level of elevation, that a
Speaker 5: level of elevation.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, here's the thing we met.
Speaker 3: On this dating Wait, real quick, real quick, what's her name?
Speaker 2: Casey Okay, start at the beginning, tell us what went wrong?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, see we talked a little bit on on
Speaker 4: dating app. You know, everybody's on dating apps nowadays, and
Speaker 4: she agreed to meet up. We didn't like waste a
Speaker 4: lot of time. We're like, it's just paying out a
Speaker 4: local bar near my.
Speaker 3: House, so innocent enough, easy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had this idea and I
Speaker 4: don't know, I ranted by some friends. They told me
Speaker 4: it was a good idea, and now it feels like
Speaker 4: they kind of were sabotaging me a bit. Oh god,
Speaker 4: I thought it might be a good idea to talk
Speaker 4: in a light British accent for a little bit. Do
Speaker 4: you always hear the concept that men with accents or
Speaker 4: sex here?
Speaker 3: And you know, couldn't she see on your dating bio
Speaker 3: that you weren't British. I guess they would if I
Speaker 3: mean if I had European I don't know. If I
Speaker 3: was British and I was on dating apps, it would
Speaker 3: be the first thing I would, you know, any swipe
Speaker 3: rights of you around London.
Speaker 2: To be fair, I don't think that you need to
Speaker 2: be British to use a British accent. I don't think
Speaker 2: women would care if you do a good enough one.
Speaker 1: It could be pretty bad.
Speaker 3: Talk to Britney spears about how well that works out
Speaker 3: for her.
Speaker 1: Maybe he has a great British accent. Can we get
Speaker 1: a sample of it?
Speaker 4: Well, I quite fondly pond that's just I had heard
Speaker 4: it in my head. I had was killing it.
Speaker 3: Wait, will wait, So that you really did it on
Speaker 3: the date, like from the very.
Speaker 5: Start, Well, I was a lot more locked in the
Speaker 5: day of the date. I was practicing all day, even
Speaker 5: when I was like going to like the gas station earlier,
Speaker 5: I was trying to be in character to make sure
Speaker 5: I had it down.
Speaker 1: Okay, so we know why she's ghosting you. And in
Speaker 1: Britain it's called a petrol state. Did you say immediately.
Speaker 3: He starts driving on the wrong side of What was
Speaker 3: her response when she first heard you talk like that.
Speaker 4: Well, she asked if I was from there, and I said,
Speaker 4: I lived over there, just for a couple of months,
Speaker 4: like studying abroad.
Speaker 3: Wait, is that his lie or is that really true
Speaker 3: that you lived over there?
Speaker 2: It was a lie?
Speaker 4: Okay, but that's not the point. Okay. I wanted to
Speaker 4: sell the story.
Speaker 3: Okay, So you told her in a couple of months,
Speaker 3: you developed an accents, that's right, and.
Speaker 1: Then moved and forgot everything.
Speaker 4: Do you ever go to Canada and then next thing
Speaker 4: you know, you're saying a after.
Speaker 3: Everything, it's not the same.
Speaker 1: Met you a very impressionable young man. That's okay. Countries
Speaker 1: in a short amount of time.
Speaker 3: Did Casey buy it? That's what I want to know.
Speaker 4: It felt like if she stuck around, she was into it.
Speaker 4: That's how I played it. So she was sticking around,
Speaker 4: we were still hanging.
Speaker 3: Okay, did you ever reveal your real voice?
Speaker 4: So about two drinks in, I started kind of letting
Speaker 4: it slip my normal talking accent, but only in a
Speaker 4: few sentences here and there.
Speaker 2: And you're like Mel Gibson in Brave Heart, like a
Speaker 2: couple with an accent, a couple with an American accent.
Speaker 1: Over the place.
Speaker 4: Yeah, during the course of an hour and a half,
Speaker 4: I probably went in and out of the accent half
Speaker 4: a dozen times, but some of the word could go
Speaker 4: either way. So I kind of thought, ash, maybe she
Speaker 4: didn't notice certain parts of it.
Speaker 3: You know, I don't understand what's the long play on this,
Speaker 3: because if you actually like this girl and you want
Speaker 3: to go out with her again, you can't continue this
Speaker 3: your entire relationship.
Speaker 4: Well, I figured I could slowly water it down until
Speaker 4: it was back to my normal accent, because the thought
Speaker 4: being I had been back in town long enough.
Speaker 2: Yeah, reacclimating back into the American accident, start wearing like
Speaker 2: cut off shirts and like get really American with.
Speaker 1: Southern accent, spitt and chew.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 1: Okay, so how did you two leave it?
Speaker 4: So we ended the day and it seemed fine, and
Speaker 4: then we just kind of went about our business.
Speaker 3: So are you prepared to tell her the truth when
Speaker 3: we call her next or are you wanting to keep
Speaker 3: up this farce?
Speaker 4: I don't know what do you guys think? Bro?
Speaker 1: I think you have to look, this is a joke
Speaker 1: from the first ten minutes.
Speaker 3: Then you tell her to waiting Ah the way where
Speaker 3: a show from the BBC and we all call with
Speaker 3: a British accent.
Speaker 1: You like it?
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's practice it right now, oh croke.
Speaker 3: Sometimes there's Australia has multiple networks, so we're doing it
Speaker 3: from all over.
Speaker 5: We can do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're really going to terrify this girl when we
Speaker 2: come back and scream at her in a bunch of
Speaker 2: different accents and try to get you.
Speaker 1: Make some tea. You're gonna do it with your second
Speaker 1: date update right after that sold off second date update.
Speaker 2: This is the news intro from the actual BBC. I
Speaker 2: knew that, and I just I genuinely don't believe that
Speaker 2: we can actually pull this off. But it's actually more
Speaker 2: of a moral dilemma for us right now than it
Speaker 2: is for our listener, Mitch, who's asked us for a
Speaker 2: second date update because he faked a British accent during
Speaker 2: his first date to impress a girl.
Speaker 3: He haf faked it. Yeah, yeah, the American kept slipping out.
Speaker 2: So clearly it didn't go very well for him, and
Speaker 2: that's why he's reached out to us for help.
Speaker 5: Now.
Speaker 2: Brooke has suggested that we follow his lie and pretend
Speaker 2: to call the woman that he went out with, named Casey,
Speaker 2: pretending to be from the news desk at the BBC
Speaker 2: in London.
Speaker 1: That's right, Jeffrey, Right, and where on the job what
Speaker 1: do they call their job?
Speaker 3: Sounds to American? Yeah, we're in the office, we're at
Speaker 3: the bathrooms. I don't.
Speaker 2: This might be a this might be a disaster, but
Speaker 2: I have thought long and hard about what to do here.
Speaker 1: And Mitch, are you still there.
Speaker 4: I am still there.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I think for better or for worse?
Speaker 3: Oh, you think we need to tell the truth, we should.
Speaker 2: Try the British accents for entertainment purposes. It's a packed
Speaker 2: that we're all making and.
Speaker 1: All minute together. We all go down together, us full
Speaker 1: along with all good buddy Mitch Mitchell. No not Mitch.
Speaker 3: Mitch's American Mitch is like a flat make that you've
Speaker 3: had since cons.
Speaker 1: We need to stop with the accents.
Speaker 2: So we're going to drive all of our listeners away
Speaker 2: on every continent. Broke, we're setting rules. You're only allowed
Speaker 2: four words or else you're going to totally botch this.
Speaker 2: Jose ou No, okay, there you go.
Speaker 4: Three.
Speaker 2: That's quota, probably even less than Brock.
Speaker 1: Alexis unlimited. I don't think you'll know my accident.
Speaker 3: Dude, Thank God for that ex boyfriend of hers.
Speaker 1: Okay, Mitch, we're willing to do this for you.
Speaker 2: We just have to be from some sort of British
Speaker 2: radio show and we're doing a segment called the Second
Speaker 2: Date shack Off. Yeah, Mitch, are you fully regretting the
Speaker 2: decision to call into this radio show today?
Speaker 1: That's a terrible decision.
Speaker 4: Are you kidding me. This is awesome. Let's do it.
Speaker 3: I don't know why Jeffrey sounds like a male Mary Poppin.
Speaker 1: I love it. Very formal, these Americans and their enthusiasm.
Speaker 1: I love it. Okay, let us give Casey a ring?
Speaker 1: Shall we?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Awful?
Speaker 4: Hello?
Speaker 1: Hello is Ah? Is this an American woman named Casey
Speaker 1: who's calling? Hello? Apologies for disrupting your day. I'm Jonathan
Speaker 1: Clark from BBC Radio four. You're on our morning talk
Speaker 1: show here in London. Oh, hello, hello, I apologize. That's
Speaker 1: my co host. She is quite drunk this morning. I apologize, Casey,
Speaker 1: are you there?
Speaker 6: Yes, there's some kind of joke.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, it's no joke. We've phoned you today
Speaker 1: because we're delving into the raucous dating lives of cheeky Americans.
Speaker 3: Those Americans you mean British men.
Speaker 1: No, no Americans.
Speaker 3: Wrong, I forgot that our man that we're talking about
Speaker 3: used to live in Britain and then he was back
Speaker 3: in America.
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, quite a few Irish coffees this month. So
Speaker 1: your name was actually given to us by one of
Speaker 1: our listeners, a former local bloke named Mitchell.
Speaker 6: Okay, yeah, the two you had a bit of a
Speaker 6: snug and a bob the other night at an American tavern.
Speaker 6: I'm not sure what that means, but we had a
Speaker 6: date the other night.
Speaker 2: Yes, so our jobs this morning is we would like
Speaker 2: to pry if you don't mind, and ask you a
Speaker 2: bit about how it went.
Speaker 6: Okay, hold on, so Mitch talked to you.
Speaker 1: That's right. Where are you? Yes, Mitch. Mitch spoke to
Speaker 1: us earlier.
Speaker 2: He said, you two had a wicked good time, may
Speaker 2: have got a bit knockered at the bar, and we
Speaker 2: all want to know.
Speaker 1: Is it factual or just a load of rubbish? She
Speaker 1: said it was more lovely though quite lovely.
Speaker 3: Well, she was quite lovely.
Speaker 2: You're trying to speak to our new American friend, Casey,
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 1: I love Americans, Casey, I do apologize.
Speaker 3: No British people love Americans.
Speaker 1: In your opinion, Casey, how did it go?
Speaker 6: This is so weird.
Speaker 2: I know this calls a bit random, but you were
Speaker 2: doing this a huge service if you could just speak
Speaker 2: to us for a tiny bit.
Speaker 6: Well, I don't know what exactly you guys are looking for,
Speaker 6: but I mean it was fine, Okay.
Speaker 1: Well, at any point during the day was he acting
Speaker 1: a bit dodgy.
Speaker 6: Well, there was a point towards the beginning of the
Speaker 6: day that I was a little taken aback because I
Speaker 6: didn't know he had a British accent.
Speaker 1: I must have been a pleasant surprise to you then.
Speaker 6: Well, to be honest, I wasn't really sure he was
Speaker 6: telling the truth. But it's all starting to make sense now,
Speaker 6: I guess because it's darker to you all.
Speaker 1: No, it's true. You're never allowed to lie on British radio,
Speaker 1: that is one of the rules.
Speaker 3: But on American radio they lie all the time. Just lie, lie, lie, lie, lie,
Speaker 3: and maybe sometimes they should come clean.
Speaker 1: Okay, look, Casey, I understand sometimes first dates can be
Speaker 1: a bit tricky.
Speaker 6: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're trying.
Speaker 2: To impress some one that you're meeting for the first time.
Speaker 2: So perhaps this was a situation going on with young Mitchell.
Speaker 1: How is he better in British language just flows out
Speaker 1: to me. Here's the situation. The way that this segment
Speaker 1: works is we have the person that you went on
Speaker 1: a date with sitting on the other line, listening in
Speaker 1: on the conversation, and at the start of this call,
Speaker 1: we were not fully honest with you. So I do
Speaker 1: apologize for that, but he is there waiting to speak
Speaker 1: his piece. Mitchell, are you there?
Speaker 4: Hello? There?
Speaker 2: He is.
Speaker 1: Night in shining Armor.
Speaker 6: Mitch, is that you?
Speaker 3: It is?
Speaker 4: It's me again.
Speaker 6: This is super strange. I mean, I'm not sure why
Speaker 6: you had to call England to well for second day.
Speaker 1: He's a friend of our shows.
Speaker 4: I'm very familiar with them. In my time there, I
Speaker 4: spent less into the Malarch and grew quite fond of them.
Speaker 6: I mean, okay, I guess that makes sense. You a
Speaker 6: lot of trouble for me, so that's kind of cool.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you were.
Speaker 4: I think of you as a quite proper fit third
Speaker 4: so I wanted to do whatever it Troup.
Speaker 3: But remember, Mitch, this may be very hard to keep up,
Speaker 3: if you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Mitchell never shies away from a challenge, though, do you.
Speaker 4: No, I do not. I'm quite reready for any challenge. Hell.
Speaker 1: I believe that what my drunken co host is referring
Speaker 1: to over there is it's quite difficult to go out
Speaker 1: in the modern world because of the prices of everything.
Speaker 1: Inflation has made paying for things just absolutely preposterous.
Speaker 3: And so that's what I was talking about.
Speaker 2: Frankly, I have a very hard time understanding anything that
Speaker 2: you're saying this morning.
Speaker 1: The gin has gone straight to your head.
Speaker 2: So we're going to take care of all the finances
Speaker 2: and offer to pay for your next meet up with Mitchell.
Speaker 1: Maybe some fish and chips and some mushy peas. Now
Speaker 1: you're making me hunger.
Speaker 4: I'd love to cut a film with you as well.
Speaker 4: That's something I know we both share in common.
Speaker 1: Tip to the cinema.
Speaker 6: Why did you just sound like an American there?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we have American roots issue.
Speaker 4: What's to tell you that we're going over.
Speaker 1: Telephones? You know? Unfortunately I am staring out the window
Speaker 1: and I do see Big Ben off in the distance,
Speaker 1: and we are running out of time.
Speaker 2: The segment is nearly at a close. Casey, we need
Speaker 2: an answer from you, definitively yes or no. Would you
Speaker 2: like to go out with Mitch once more?
Speaker 6: But I don't know why everybody's laughing, and I feel
Speaker 6: like I could be missing the joke here. Yeah, I'd
Speaker 6: like to try it again.
Speaker 4: Way the Queen be.
Speaker 2: Blessed past quite a while ago.
Speaker 4: It's going to be a quite proper fine night, and
Speaker 4: we're going to have an incredible evening together. Again.
Speaker 6: No guy has ever got in such trouble to try
Speaker 6: to get me to go out on a second date
Speaker 6: with this, So I'm impressed.
Speaker 4: Anything for a special lady like yourself.
Speaker 1: All right, which one you piped down for just a bit?
Speaker 1: It's another successful second date?
Speaker 2: Snog off what's here on BBC Radio for Stay tuned
Speaker 2: as we recap all of the Beatles' greatest hits be.
Speaker 1: Never out of Soil Here in London. It's looking Jeffrey.
Speaker 1: Oh no, it's a Jonathan Clark.
Speaker 3: This is not good.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 3: I'm the Chimney.
Speaker 1: Suite looking Jeffrey in the morning. Brooke, Why would you
Speaker 1: keep saying in the middle of the call. Should we
Speaker 1: tell her now?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 3: Because I thought we were gonna cut clean. That was
Speaker 3: like we tricked her into a date that wasn't cool.
Speaker 1: The whole pack. Yeah, the whole British accent thing was
Speaker 1: your idea.
Speaker 3: I was joking.
Speaker 1: You were beginning.
Speaker 3: Did you hear how bad his accent is? Again, it's
Speaker 3: worse than mine.
Speaker 1: Still, we had committed.
Speaker 2: You can't like pull back on it like you're trying
Speaker 2: to in your marriage.
Speaker 4: Jok.
Speaker 1: You committed to it. You gotta follow Jeffrey.
Speaker 3: When she said, oh now I believe him, I felt
Speaker 3: really terrible.
Speaker 2: If she's willing to buy that, you shouldn't feel bad
Speaker 2: for her Next time.
Speaker 3: You're just gullible.
Speaker 1: Next time, just roll with it, Brooke.
Speaker 2: I'm sick and tired of having to step up and
Speaker 2: save your butt on every single second.
Speaker 4: Can I make a.
Speaker 2: Request if you have an accent, I would love to
Speaker 2: see if we could do as many accents as possible
Speaker 2: on this show.
Speaker 1: If you had a bad date, let's do second date.
Speaker 3: No, it's an every accent. I know that's your dream,
Speaker 3: and I'm putting a stop to that right now. This
Speaker 3: is the one and only. We're one and done.
Speaker 1: Let's get our show canceled.
Speaker 2: Call in if you want to hear you can go
Speaker 2: to the Brook and Jeffrey podcast. If you missed it,
Speaker 2: find all of our second dates there or on the
Speaker 2: BBC four radio network.