Speaker 1: If you're wanting civility with someone who's wanting intimacy, it
Speaker 1: doesn't work. If you're wanting civility with someone who wants drama,
Speaker 1: it doesn't work. And I know you know who I'm
Speaker 1: talking about, right. You know you've tried in situations to
Speaker 1: be the civil one, to be the peaceful one, to
Speaker 1: be the conscious one. But because they didn't want that,
Speaker 1: and they didn't want that from you, and they didn't
Speaker 1: want to mirror that, it didn't work out that way.
Speaker 1: The Number one Health and Wellness Podcast, Jay Setty Jay Shetty,
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. I'm your host,
Speaker 1: Jay Shetty. Thank you so much for tuning in. I'm
Speaker 1: so grateful that you've decided to reconnect, whether you're hiking, walking,
Speaker 1: walking your dog, cooking, driving to or from work. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for being here. I was speaking to
Speaker 1: her friend the other day and she asked me this question.
Speaker 1: She said to me, can you be friends with your ex?
Speaker 1: And my response was who are you talking to? And
Speaker 1: it's one of these questions that I get asked a lot.
Speaker 1: And when this particular friend asked me this question, there
Speaker 1: was a part of me that was worried, but there
Speaker 1: was a part of me that was open, and I
Speaker 1: think it's because for years my quick response has been no,
Speaker 1: not really. And then I realized how different this question
Speaker 1: was for people who had kids together, for people who
Speaker 1: had shared friends together. There were different versions of it,
Speaker 1: and I think often we can discount or dismiss the
Speaker 1: opportunity without recognizing the factors. So I thought it was
Speaker 1: important to do an episode about it because I think
Speaker 1: it's a lot more complex and subtle than we often
Speaker 1: give it credit for. Now, before we even get started,
Speaker 1: there are grounds for not being friends. Before exploring this question,
Speaker 1: I want to establish some ground rule. Not every X
Speaker 1: deserves friendship. Did your relationship end in a peaceful manner?
Speaker 1: Did your ex treat you well? Are they dangerous, volatile,
Speaker 1: or toxic and an untrustworthy person? Were you ever mistreated
Speaker 1: or did you ever feel unsafe? Were you disrespected or
Speaker 1: taken advantage of emotionally, sexually, or financially? Were you lied
Speaker 1: to or cheated on? If any of these things are true,
Speaker 1: I would avoid even considering becoming friends with your ex.
Speaker 1: But assuming things ended kind of mutually and acceptably or
Speaker 1: as well as possible, considering you did call it quits.
Speaker 1: Here's a rule of thumb. You're more likely to be
Speaker 1: friends with an ex if you and your ex had
Speaker 1: a nice breakup. But here's the thing, it will still
Speaker 1: always be complicated even if things ended well. Understand that
Speaker 1: becoming friends than X is a tricky, landmind filled journey.
Speaker 1: How could it not be? I mean, romantic relationships usually
Speaker 1: have their origins in friendship before they evolve into something deeper.
Speaker 1: You're now asking two people to maintain the friendship part
Speaker 1: of their relationship minus the romantic or sexual angle. But
Speaker 1: it's not as simple as going back to the friendship
Speaker 1: origins of your relationship. Friendship, companionship, and above all, trust
Speaker 1: are all core elements of romantic love. Ensuring you know
Speaker 1: the difference is one of the primary challenges of becoming
Speaker 1: friends with your ex. I was on the Talk the
Speaker 1: other day at Today's show in LA and they asked
Speaker 1: me this question as well, and what came out for
Speaker 1: me was emotional maturity and romantic clarity. Emotional maturity, do
Speaker 1: you both have enough maturity to not be envious when
Speaker 1: you see the other person with another person? Do you
Speaker 1: both have enough emotional maturity to let the other become
Speaker 1: who they want to be, not who you wanted them
Speaker 1: to be. And romantic clarity. Are you both truly aware
Speaker 1: of the boundaries that now exist physically, sexually, and in
Speaker 1: terms of intimacy or is one of you secretly hoping
Speaker 1: that you'll be able to make something happen when the
Speaker 1: other person's guards down. All of these lead to a
Speaker 1: lack of trust. They lead to a lack of stability
Speaker 1: in a friendship or in a relationship. Now here's what
Speaker 1: the science says about becoming friends with your exes. A
Speaker 1: twenty seventeen research study shows that people chose to stay
Speaker 1: friends with their exes for four core reasons. The first
Speaker 1: is security. They make us feel good and show us
Speaker 1: that even in the wake of a breakup, our lives
Speaker 1: haven't been completely turned upside down. Right. We're all looking
Speaker 1: for security and safety, and our biggest concern, genuinely is
Speaker 1: who am I going to call at seven pm tonight?
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, who am I going to text? First
Speaker 1: thing in the morning. All of those things we think
Speaker 1: are emotional, and they are, but they're security based. It's
Speaker 1: not necessarily love or romance. It's a sense of safety
Speaker 1: and security which humans desire. So deeply, and often we
Speaker 1: desire it so deeply that we stay in a situation
Speaker 1: even if it's bad for us. We want to elongate
Speaker 1: and extend something, even if it's unhealthy for us, because
Speaker 1: it makes us feel falsely safe. Think about a time
Speaker 1: in your life where you've stayed somewhere because it fooled
Speaker 1: you into believing you were safe in one way or another.
Speaker 1: So one of the reasons we stay is security. The
Speaker 1: second reason is practicality. You like your ex, and your
Speaker 1: ex likes you, and both of you value each other's
Speaker 1: in your lives, and this is a sense of like
Speaker 1: comfort or ease. So a lot of us are constantly
Speaker 1: trying to move toward comfort and ease, the path of
Speaker 1: least resistance. How many of you have stayed in a job,
Speaker 1: a relationship, at a family gathering for far too long
Speaker 1: because it was comfortable and it was easy, even though
Speaker 1: it wasn't good for you. See, as humans, we almost
Speaker 1: seem to lose our way. And it's interesting when you
Speaker 1: think about the pursuit of purpose that we're all ultimately
Speaker 1: challenged to go on. One of the reasons we don't
Speaker 1: take it is because we're just looking for security and safety.
Speaker 1: One of the reasons we don't take the pursuit of
Speaker 1: purpose is because we're just looking for ease and comfort,
Speaker 1: and it feels in the short term much easier to
Speaker 1: do these options. And the truth is it is in
Speaker 1: the short term, it just isn't in the long term.
Speaker 1: And when it comes to a breakup, you just think, well,
Speaker 1: if if we just stay friends, at least things are
Speaker 1: still practical, not understanding the complexities that come with that.
Speaker 1: The third reason that people want to stay friends with
Speaker 1: their ex is civility, otherwise known as keeping the peace.
Speaker 1: If you're walking down the street and you see your
Speaker 1: ex coming your way, you don't want to have to
Speaker 1: dart across the street to avoid having an awkward encounter. Right,
Speaker 1: It's just normal. Again, the path of least resistance. How
Speaker 1: do I create a world in which I have no
Speaker 1: conflict and no tension and no stress. By the way,
Speaker 1: I recommend that sometimes we create too much drama in
Speaker 1: our life. Sometimes we basically are the directors of drama
Speaker 1: in our life, almost like we're directing a dramatic, tragic movie,
Speaker 1: and we just find everything to cause tension and stress.
Speaker 1: So wanting civility is not a bad thing. I get it.
Speaker 1: But often if you're wanting civility with someone who's wanting intimacy,
Speaker 1: it doesn't work. If you're wanting civility with someone who
Speaker 1: wants drama, it doesn't work. And I know you know
Speaker 1: who I'm talking about, right, you know you've tried in
Speaker 1: situations to be the civil one, to be the peaceful one,
Speaker 1: to be the conscious one. But because they didn't want that,
Speaker 1: and they didn't want that from you, and they didn't
Speaker 1: want to mirror that, it didn't work out that way.
Speaker 1: And the fourth reason, and by far the trickiest, has
Speaker 1: to do with unresolved romantic desires. You still want to
Speaker 1: be with this person. You haven't gotten over them yet,
Speaker 1: you don't know if you ever will, And you're thinking
Speaker 1: to yourself, if I stick around for long enough, they'll
Speaker 1: come to their senses that I was the one, I
Speaker 1: was the best one, and they'll finally realize what they're
Speaker 1: missing out on. Right, I'm just going to convince them.
Speaker 1: I'm just going to stick around long enough until they
Speaker 1: change their mind. And I know I can do it, right,
Speaker 1: I know I can do it now. That one's a
Speaker 1: very very tricky one because we're almost kind of creating
Speaker 1: an expectation without having that intention shared openly. And that's
Speaker 1: a really interesting position to be, and I find a
Speaker 1: lot of us have expectations without setting that intention. If
Speaker 1: you have an expectation that you're going to get back
Speaker 1: with someone and they've kind of told you, hey, this
Speaker 1: is not happening, sure, you might be able to coax
Speaker 1: persuade them for a day or two, but it's going
Speaker 1: to be a hard battle. And because you're walking into
Speaker 1: it with a preset expectation, you're setting yourself up for failure,
Speaker 1: because you're setting yourself up to be let down. There's
Speaker 1: four ways to know that you're not ready to resume
Speaker 1: a friendship with your ex. The first one, your feelings
Speaker 1: are strong and conflicted. In other words, you might still
Speaker 1: have romantic feelings for your ex, or you're thinking about
Speaker 1: your ex more than you'd like to, more than feels healthy.
Speaker 1: If so, pause, hold off, and postpone any attempts at
Speaker 1: establishing our friendship until those feelings simmeredar pass. You still
Speaker 1: meet up occasionally. If your intent on establishing a friendship
Speaker 1: with your ex. By definition, that means the two of
Speaker 1: you are no longer romantically or sexually involved. If you are,
Speaker 1: I don't have to tell you how complicated a factor
Speaker 1: this is and how much more difficult it makes it
Speaker 1: for you or your ex to move forward. Now. Number three,
Speaker 1: you're secretly using friendship as a means to get back together.
Speaker 1: This is probably the most common one, and you and
Speaker 1: your ex broke up for a reason, probably more than
Speaker 1: one reason, and using friendship to re establish a romance
Speaker 1: doesn't address or solve those problems. Being friends with an
Speaker 1: ex can trick you into thinking that you didn't really
Speaker 1: break up, the whole thing was a dream and the
Speaker 1: future will be different. It's important to be honest with
Speaker 1: yourself and remember that your ex probably has the same
Speaker 1: strong feelings. Remember that if you broke up with your ex,
Speaker 1: that means something about your relationship wasn't working for you, you,
Speaker 1: your ex, or both of you. If you're trying to
Speaker 1: be friends because you secretly hope your renewed friendship will
Speaker 1: lead to a renewed relationship, you may be holding on
Speaker 1: to false hopes. Only try to be friends if you
Speaker 1: can honestly live with the truth that the two of
Speaker 1: you are no longer together. Now. The fourth reason is
Speaker 1: you feel bad and hope that making a friendship is
Speaker 1: a get out of jail free card. Now, maybe you
Speaker 1: did the breaking up right. Maybe you're the one who
Speaker 1: left them and now you're trying to I see this
Speaker 1: with a lot of my male friends. But they'll break
Speaker 1: up with someone and they'll be like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to be the bad guy. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: seen as the bad guy. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: seen as that one. So I'm going to work hard
Speaker 1: on building a friendship up because that way, at least
Speaker 1: you won't hate me. And really, I'm like, well, you're
Speaker 1: kind of making that person maybe hate you more in
Speaker 1: the long term because you're doing it for all the
Speaker 1: wrong reasons. Maybe you feel guilty and maybe you fell
Speaker 1: in love with someone else. Maybe you've found someone else,
Speaker 1: maybe you're moving on. So you have to ask yourself,
Speaker 1: who does this friendship benefit? Am I doing it only
Speaker 1: to make me feel better about myself? If so, don't
Speaker 1: right think twice? Too many people try to stay friends
Speaker 1: with their ex because they want to be seen as
Speaker 1: a good person. You broke their heart, you found someone else,
Speaker 1: you moved on, But you don't want to be seen
Speaker 1: as a bad person, so you want to be friends
Speaker 1: with them so that they see you as a good person.
Speaker 1: And so you're only doing it to make yourself feel
Speaker 1: better about yourself. You're not doing it because you truly
Speaker 1: want to be friends with them, and that's only going
Speaker 1: to hurt them more in the future. It might feel
Speaker 1: good to you right now based on how you're perceived,
Speaker 1: but not only your perception, how they feel and their
Speaker 1: heart will be deeply hurt in the future. And I
Speaker 1: think this hits very closely to why I partner it
Speaker 1: up with Match. And what I really found was I
Speaker 1: wanted to create a space where people could connect based
Speaker 1: on their values. And this was really really important to
Speaker 1: me because I feel that everything I'm saying here is
Speaker 1: because we don't realize that our core values have such
Speaker 1: a big impact in terms of long term success. If
Speaker 1: you ignore core values, you're thinking in the next five months.
Speaker 1: If you take on core values, you're living in the
Speaker 1: next five years. And for anyone who's interested and invested
Speaker 1: in building a long term, long lasting, powerful relationship, this
Speaker 1: mindset is huge. Ninety three percent of Match members say
Speaker 1: that shared core values are a crucial indicator of relationship success. Now,
Speaker 1: let's imagine that your motives are pure, how do you
Speaker 1: even start becoming friends with the next? So right, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna imagine for a moment, say that you've
Speaker 1: answered all these questions, you know, like I'm genuine. This
Speaker 1: is where real I care about them. This is how
Speaker 1: it's gonna have to work. The first thing is you
Speaker 1: need to take time. Healing after a breakup takes a while.
Speaker 1: It's rarely a question of ending a relationship. And two
Speaker 1: weeks later meeting your ex for an fsent brunch down
Speaker 1: the block and your X does too. And by the
Speaker 1: time I'm not talking about and by time, I'm not
Speaker 1: talking about a week, a month, or even three months.
Speaker 1: Experts suggest allowing anywhere from six months to a year
Speaker 1: before you even consider getting in touch with your ex.
Speaker 1: And even then, don't assume that because you've allowed so
Speaker 1: much time in your head to go by, that everything's
Speaker 1: going to work out just fine. It may or may not,
Speaker 1: But more about that in a bit. Time is just
Speaker 1: another word for readiness, and readiness is another word for
Speaker 1: recovery and self awareness. About it this way, you've just
Speaker 1: lived through the death of a relationship. As with any death,
Speaker 1: you need to give yourself the latitude and introspection to grieve,
Speaker 1: adjust to a new identity, and begin moving forward. Let's
Speaker 1: see if we can define what ready means, and the
Speaker 1: best way to do that is by defining what it
Speaker 1: doesn't mean. Ready doesn't mean you won't have contact with
Speaker 1: your ex until you meet someone new and you can
Speaker 1: show your ex how stupid they were, because how amazing
Speaker 1: you are and how much better your life is now
Speaker 1: that they're not a part of it. Ready means you've
Speaker 1: been extraordinarily honest with yourself, that you can see things clearly,
Speaker 1: that you've done the work necessary to move on, that
Speaker 1: you have grieved the loss of your relationship and maintained
Speaker 1: what was great about it and what you learned. Everything
Speaker 1: I just said also goes for your ex. It's not
Speaker 1: just about you. A friendship won't work unless both people
Speaker 1: are honest and trust each other, not just over the
Speaker 1: course of a single conversation, but as a prerequisite of
Speaker 1: the renewal of your friendship with honesty as the foundation.
Speaker 1: Here are some of the issues that may come up
Speaker 1: for you and how that same honesty can help nip
Speaker 1: them in the bud. Now. One of the first things
Speaker 1: is unfinished business are you in your ex really in
Speaker 1: the past. What are your motives in trying to become friends?
Speaker 1: Are you trying to show him what he's missing? Do
Speaker 1: you really want to know what's going on in her
Speaker 1: life or even who your replacement might be. These are
Speaker 1: all natural human responses after a breakup, But that does
Speaker 1: a mean that can sustain a friendship. Be honest with
Speaker 1: yourself and with your ex. Are the two of you
Speaker 1: really through or do you find yourselves stalking them on
Speaker 1: social media and playing music you associate with them and
Speaker 1: that you used to play together. By the way, stop
Speaker 1: doing that? Or is it that you're too cool for school?
Speaker 1: Are you interested in re establishing a friendship with your
Speaker 1: ex because it feels like the mature, grown up, calm
Speaker 1: and kell thing to do. After all, being friends with
Speaker 1: your ex communicates to everyone how much of an adult
Speaker 1: you are, what a good person, how you're willing to
Speaker 1: put the past behind you and separate love and desire
Speaker 1: from friendship in a truly awesome, human evolved way. Well,
Speaker 1: here's my advice to you. It's okay not to have
Speaker 1: a grown up reaction to a breakup. It's okay to
Speaker 1: acknowledge that it's just too difficult, that you need longer
Speaker 1: than a year, and that you might not ever reach
Speaker 1: a place in your life when you are in your
Speaker 1: ex can be friends. I was speaking to a friend
Speaker 1: the other day and he said, the day I moved
Speaker 1: on for my ex was the day I admitted to
Speaker 1: myself that I would never move on. Let me take
Speaker 1: that again, they said, the day I moved on from
Speaker 1: my ex was the day I admitted that I would
Speaker 1: never move on. Accepting that I may never get over
Speaker 1: them is what helped me move forward. Admitting to myself
Speaker 1: that I'll probably always think about them is what allowed
Speaker 1: me to stop thinking about them. Realizing that I may
Speaker 1: never ever fully disconnect or detach from that relationship is
Speaker 1: what really allowed me to let go. Think about that really,
Speaker 1: really carefully. It's not pretending to move on. It's not
Speaker 1: faking moving on. It's not making it up or doing
Speaker 1: it because it looks good or people will respect you.
Speaker 1: It's actually being honest with yourself and authentic with yourself.
Speaker 1: And I get it. That's scary, it's hard, it's challenging,
Speaker 1: but it's the truth. Now. Naturally, what we often do
Speaker 1: is we wonder what others mutual friends, family, members might
Speaker 1: think if you and your ex were a couple for
Speaker 1: a long time, no doubt you're friends in common or
Speaker 1: an established friend group, as well as a relationship with
Speaker 1: each other's families. In the wake of a breakup, it's
Speaker 1: inevitable that some of those friends will take sides detto
Speaker 1: for family members for the sake of keeping the peace.
Speaker 1: It's natural to want to maintain those friendships, to act
Speaker 1: though nothing has changed, and that everyone, including you and
Speaker 1: your ex, can still be buddies. After all, it's a
Speaker 1: small town where people are bound to run into one another,
Speaker 1: and you don't want any weirdness. As for family members,
Speaker 1: you don't want their mom or their sister to think
Speaker 1: badly of you. Maybe you have a close relationship with
Speaker 1: the family that you don't want to give up. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: friends and family members can be casualties of a breakup.
Speaker 1: Something big has happened, and your friends are coping with
Speaker 1: the fallout. Two and I think this is the hard
Speaker 1: part where almost your friends are acting like it's harder
Speaker 1: for them than it is for you. If you've just
Speaker 1: been through a breakup and you have mutual friends, and
Speaker 1: your friends are making it out that this breakup is
Speaker 1: harder for them than it's harder for you. Then those
Speaker 1: are not your real friends. You need friends who recognize
Speaker 1: that this loss is so deeply hard and difficult and
Speaker 1: challenging for you that they're there for you regardless of
Speaker 1: how it affects them, because while they are affected, you're
Speaker 1: the one who's going through the most of it. And
Speaker 1: I just really want to put that out there because
Speaker 1: I think too many people kind of feel like they've
Speaker 1: got to be there for their family, be there for
Speaker 1: their friends, be there for everyone else, when you're the
Speaker 1: one who's really grieving the loss. Now, one of the
Speaker 1: big ones that's come up for a lot of people
Speaker 1: I've talked to is the complicating factor of pets. Right,
Speaker 1: maybe you bought a cat together or a dog together,
Speaker 1: and you're used to spending time together on the weekends,
Speaker 1: three of you laying around or hiking or watching a
Speaker 1: bad movie while the dog or cat lazed in your lap. Well,
Speaker 1: one of you has got in custody of that animal,
Speaker 1: and it's probably difficult, if not wrenching, for the person
Speaker 1: who's now not only without a partner, but without a
Speaker 1: much loved pet. And that creates a lot of complications too.
Speaker 1: So for any one of your friends who's struggling and
Speaker 1: wants to be friends with their re ex, I just
Speaker 1: want you all to have a bit of empathy for
Speaker 1: the fact that there are so many factors now, Also,
Speaker 1: when you remember it's not all about you, there are
Speaker 1: two people here, both of whom are probably dealing with
Speaker 1: very intense feelings and memories, all of which will be
Speaker 1: try when that person comes back into your life. You
Speaker 1: might be completely okay and cool with you and your
Speaker 1: ex being friends, but have you considered them and the
Speaker 1: ways your reappearance in their lives might affect them. You
Speaker 1: may want a friendship with your ex, but they still
Speaker 1: want a relationship. You may be over your ex, but
Speaker 1: they still want to be with you. You may have
Speaker 1: moved on, but they haven't moved at all. Just because
Speaker 1: you're ready to be friends, don't force that person into
Speaker 1: more discomfort. They've already been hurt once. This will only
Speaker 1: hurt them twice. Remember it's not all about you. They're
Speaker 1: in this too. Now. If you do get this far
Speaker 1: in this situation, you have to establish the new rules
Speaker 1: of engagement, like what does friendship even look like? So
Speaker 1: as everyone knows, there are countless ways of communicating, ranging
Speaker 1: from social media to texting, the calling to liking a
Speaker 1: common and when you and your ex were romantically involved,
Speaker 1: you are probably in communication across the board all day,
Speaker 1: night long, conversation, short, and on social media. Now it's different, right,
Speaker 1: We all know that a flirty late night text message
Speaker 1: can lead to a situation where one or both of
Speaker 1: you slips and the next day you find yourself waking
Speaker 1: up in your ex's bedroom. You have to create ground rules. Now,
Speaker 1: the problem is when both of you don't respect it,
Speaker 1: And that's what you want to spot early. Does someone
Speaker 1: really respect the ground rules or are you always pushing
Speaker 1: them to do that. You might agree to text each
Speaker 1: other or email, or you could decide it's calls only.
Speaker 1: But here's the second thing. Try it out before you
Speaker 1: decide whether it works or not. Right now that you're
Speaker 1: back in contact, practice it. Try it out and recognize
Speaker 1: where that person stands on respecting your boundaries. Now, I
Speaker 1: also want to address this, what about children. A wise
Speaker 1: person I know once counseled her two daughters that they should,
Speaker 1: of course feel free to fall in love with and
Speaker 1: marry whoever they want, but they should be extremely careful
Speaker 1: about choosing the person with whom they have children. Now,
Speaker 1: why exactly did she mean this? Well, she knew, and
Speaker 1: any person with children out there will confirm it that
Speaker 1: the person you have children with is part of your
Speaker 1: life for well a lifetime. And in this case, the
Speaker 1: choice of whether to be friends or even polite and
Speaker 1: civil with each other is often decided on behalf of
Speaker 1: the children the two of you share, in which case
Speaker 1: friendship may take a longer time to develop, and at
Speaker 1: first I recommend proceeding carefully and with as much detachment
Speaker 1: as possible. I've seen friends with excess flourish, and I've
Speaker 1: seen friendships with xcees go south very quickly. Sometimes you'll
Speaker 1: find that, minus the romantic or sexual entanglement, the two
Speaker 1: of you don't have all that much to say to
Speaker 1: each other. In other cases, the absence of romance and
Speaker 1: sex can be clarifying and remind you that friendship and
Speaker 1: honesty and caring served as the basis of that relationship.
Speaker 1: I hope, for your sakes that you fall into the
Speaker 1: second category, but if you don't, I have one last
Speaker 1: piece of advice to share with you. You don't have to
Speaker 1: be friends with your ex, no matter how guilty you
Speaker 1: feel about it, no matter how bad they make you feel,
Speaker 1: no matter how much your family or friends think it's
Speaker 1: the right thing to do. You don't have to be
Speaker 1: friends because you've both been hurt once and you don't
Speaker 1: want to hurt them twice. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: listening to today. I hope this episode helped you. I
Speaker 1: hope it helps you heal. I hope you send it
Speaker 1: to a friend who's struggling right now. And thank you
Speaker 1: for being here with me on purpose. And remember I'm
Speaker 1: forever in your corner and always rooting for you. Hey. Everyone,
Speaker 1: if you love that conversation, go and check out my
Speaker 1: episode with the world's leading therapist, Lourie Gottlieb, where she
Speaker 1: answers the biggest questions that people ask in therapy when
Speaker 1: it comes to love, relationships, heartbreak, and dating. If you're
Speaker 1: trying to figure out that space right now, you won't
Speaker 1: want to miss this conversation. If it's a romantic relationship,
Speaker 1: hold hands. It's really hard to argue. It actually calms
Speaker 1: your nervous systems. Just hold hands as you're having the conversation.
Speaker 1: It's so lovely.