WEBVTT - I’ll Have What Chelsea Handler is Having 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:07.560 Hi, everyone, I'm Katie Couric and this is next question. 0:00:11.760 --> 0:00:13.840 I first got to know Chelsea Handler a number of 0:00:13.880 --> 0:00:16.880 years ago when I was anchoring the CBS Evening News 0:00:17.120 --> 0:00:21.800 and our team invited her to the White House Correspondence dinner. 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:25.799 Needless to say, we had a blast and we have 0:00:25.880 --> 0:00:28.440 been friendly ever since. I would say friends, but I 0:00:28.480 --> 0:00:31.320 don't see her that often, but when I do, I'm 0:00:31.360 --> 0:00:35.240 always really happy. So I was thrilled when she told 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:38.320 me she would do an interview for this podcast all 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:42.000 about her new book called I'll Have What. She's having 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:46.880 kind of a riff on when hearing met Sally. Of course, obviously, 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:51.320 Chelsea is really really funny, but she's also very thoughtful 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:55.319 and a very good writer. Her writing, in fact, is 0:00:55.440 --> 0:00:59.160 full of heart. So we had a fun conversation and 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:03.000 talked about everything under the sun. I hope you enjoy 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:06.840 listening to it as much as I enjoyed having it. 0:01:06.959 --> 0:01:14.319 Here's Chelsea Handler. Hi, Hi, how are you going? You 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:17.480 look great. I was just watching you with Sophia Bush. 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:21.080 I'm like, hey, Chelsea, don't do everyone before you do me. 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:24.080 Oh my gosh, I know so many podcasts now, It's like, 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:25.360 you should see. 0:01:25.160 --> 0:01:27.800 The list of podcasts. I think we can start, because 0:01:27.880 --> 0:01:30.640 I know you've got a million things and I know 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:34.400 what this is like. But first of all, Chelsea, I 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:38.280 loved your book. Thank you, Katie, thank you so much. 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:42.560 It's music to your ears. I know when somebody says that, 0:01:42.800 --> 0:01:45.560 because as someone else who's written one book, not eighty 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:49.520 seven like you have, it's always nice that someone actually 0:01:50.160 --> 0:01:52.960 read the book, loved the book and tells you that, right, 0:01:53.080 --> 0:01:55.920 I mean, do you need that kind of affirmation after 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:58.120 all these years and all these books, because I know 0:01:58.280 --> 0:01:59.600 I did when I wrote mine. 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:02.520 Yes, it's always nice to hear that someone enjoyed something 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:03.160 that you wrote. 0:02:03.440 --> 0:02:07.080 Absolutely. I loved to hear that. I don't depend on it, 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:10.200 you know, because that's a slippery slope as well. 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:12.680 That's true, that's true. 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:14.639 If you hang your hat on that, then you hang 0:02:14.680 --> 0:02:16.240 your hat on the good and the bad. 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:17.720 So I like to just kind of be in. 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:21.280 A neutral zone where I don't need a lot of affirmation, 0:02:21.360 --> 0:02:23.240 but it's always very welcome to get it. 0:02:23.360 --> 0:02:25.680 Yes, well, it was so much fun reading it. Before 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:27.680 we kind of dig in, I wanted to ask you 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:33.120 how you're surviving this really actually pretty devastating and terrifying time. 0:02:33.200 --> 0:02:34.960 You know, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:38.280 or anything, but do you find yourself, Chelsea, kind of 0:02:38.760 --> 0:02:43.519 reading the news NonStop and waiting for the next crazy 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:48.200 thing that the president or his sidekick Elon Musk does. 0:02:49.360 --> 0:02:53.280 Yeah, it's pretty upsetting and alarming and revolting. 0:02:53.320 --> 0:02:54.239 All of those things. 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:57.400 I'm trying to I've been in Whistler for a little bit. 0:02:57.440 --> 0:03:01.359 I'm about to come back and do my press and 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:04.480 and I am just thinking of the ways that I 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:07.600 can double down on my love and my kindness and 0:03:07.639 --> 0:03:12.400 my empathy to be even more compassionate and generous with 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:15.320 my time and resources for all of the people who 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:18.919 feel so scared and fearful. You know, I'm in that group, 0:03:18.960 --> 0:03:23.320 but obviously not as an immediate threat to my life. 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:25.639 I don't know what to say about everything that we're 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:29.000 reading and experiencing. And I and I my one thing 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:31.120 when we came into this administration was like, I'm not 0:03:31.200 --> 0:03:33.080 letting them steal my joy again, Like you're not going 0:03:33.160 --> 0:03:35.640 to steal my four years of like you made me. 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:40.920 So angry and you know, ugly and anxious. Yeah, and 0:03:40.960 --> 0:03:42.000 so here we are again. 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:44.119 But I'm like Okay, Well, all you can ever really 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:47.200 choose is how you respond to a situation. And I'm 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:49.080 going to choose to be calm and to be and 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:51.320 double down on all the good stuff and do what 0:03:51.360 --> 0:03:53.640 I can do within the people that I come into 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:56.400 contact with in my communities, you know, and obviously be 0:03:56.440 --> 0:03:58.800 there for the bigger actions when they're necessary, and we 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:00.880 have like an idea, yeah, what to do. 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:04.080 But right now it's pretty it's pretty disheartening. 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:07.680 Yeah, so many people, I know, Chelsea, are feeling so 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:11.920 hopeless and powerless. And you know, I'm curious because I 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:15.200 do think focusing on the people who are most vulnerable 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:19.600 and doing what you can to support them and encourage 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:23.640 them is a great outlet. But I'm curious when you 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:26.880 say that, what kind of people are you talking about? Like, 0:04:26.920 --> 0:04:30.279 when you envision helping certain people, are you talking about 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.720 the LGBTQ community. Are you talking about. 0:04:33.640 --> 0:04:37.039 I'm talking about any community that's being targeted by this administration, 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:41.280 which is you know, the trans community, any person of color, really, 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:44.640 I mean, the all women are threatened by this. I'm 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:48.480 talking about just kind of extending love and like gratitude 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:50.760 and all of the good stuff because we're faced with 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:53.320 such a dark situation, So what requires us to dig 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:56.520 even deeper for the light and to actually remind each 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:58.760 other about the power of togetherness. 0:04:58.800 --> 0:04:59.880 Like for me in my. 0:04:59.839 --> 0:05:02.080 Life lifetime, this is the first time where it really 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:05.760 feels like women understand the importance of having each other's 0:05:05.800 --> 0:05:08.720 back and of working together. The whole reason we're in 0:05:08.720 --> 0:05:12.880 this political atmosphere is because of the threat that men 0:05:12.920 --> 0:05:16.080 feel from women because we are so powerful, because we 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:18.960 are not going anywhere, because we've discovered that we don't 0:05:19.360 --> 0:05:22.159 our only value doesn't come from being a mother or 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:25.320 a wife, that we have value and multitude of other ways. 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:28.920 Like that's why men are so scared and freaking out 0:05:28.960 --> 0:05:31.840 and acting like this, because they're like, oh, here they come, 0:05:32.200 --> 0:05:33.360 and they're right, we're coming. 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:36.720 So I have to hold on to that, And that 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:38.200 is very much the. 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:40.440 Essence of what I'm talking about in my book is 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:43.640 about reminding each other of how powerful each of us 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:47.800 are and to be a sister to every single person 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:50.800 that you can be a sister to, especially when the 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:52.480 backdrop is so odious. 0:05:52.839 --> 0:05:54.919 I couldn't agree more. On the other hand, there are 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:57.719 a lot of sisters who are supporting what's happening in 0:05:57.760 --> 0:06:02.000 this country, which I find mind boggling and really discouraging. 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:05.320 And you know, it's really not a unified front when 0:06:05.360 --> 0:06:07.200 it comes to women in America. 0:06:07.960 --> 0:06:11.279 No, and it never has been. But that's we were 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:13.800 you know that that's going to take time too. We 0:06:13.839 --> 0:06:16.560 were poisoned by men to you know, like it's a 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:18.279 zero as sum game between women. 0:06:18.640 --> 0:06:21.720 So we've believed that women are a threat to each 0:06:21.760 --> 0:06:22.279 other too. 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:24.560 But now I feel like at least we're coming out 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:27.520 of that haze, while there's still some remaining women who 0:06:27.600 --> 0:06:30.560 haven't gotten a memo. I believe in women, like I 0:06:30.600 --> 0:06:32.440 think women are going to be the ones that save 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:32.880 the day. 0:06:33.279 --> 0:06:35.599 And I also think there are some really great men 0:06:35.640 --> 0:06:37.479 out there. You know, I hate when we kind of 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:42.479 make these rash generalizations like all men and even the patriarchy. Yes, 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:47.039 our society was founded on patriarchal principles, but I also 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:49.920 feel like there are so many men out there who 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:53.160 don't want to turn the clock back, Chelsea, who appreciate 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:58.640 us and what we contribute. At least that's my experience. Absolutely. Yes, 0:06:58.920 --> 0:06:59.960 of course, there's. 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:03.360 You know, there are men that are incredible and totally 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:05.640 get it, and those are the men that I respect 0:07:05.720 --> 0:07:08.120 and can have sex with because I can be attracted 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:11.920 to them because this other thing is just a it's 0:07:11.960 --> 0:07:15.320 such a talk about an ick like I mean, you know, 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:19.400 so anyway, that's my choice. I feel like optimism is 0:07:19.440 --> 0:07:23.560 a choice, and the darker things get, the lighter. 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:26.480 We have to become. Let's be like together, Chelsea Handler, 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:29.120 because I am right there with you. Well, let's talk 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:32.040 about this book because we're here to do that and 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.840 to let everybody know what this book is about. It's 0:07:34.880 --> 0:07:37.920 called I'll have what She's having. It's your seventh book, 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:40.000 not your eighty seventh book. I was trying to be funny, 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:42.600 but you know, as I mentioned, I wrote a memoir 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:45.040 and almost put me in my grave. So what is 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:47.880 with you and writing books? You obviously love it. The 0:07:47.960 --> 0:07:51.160 dedication is to all the flight attendants because you write 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:54.920 primarily on planes. I'm just curious about your writing process 0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:57.960 a little bit, Chelsea, sort of how you come up 0:07:58.000 --> 0:08:00.640 with the idea, the genesis of that, How do you 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:03.200 kind of process each of these books, how you pick 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:06.160 the topic. Can you give me some sort of insight 0:08:06.200 --> 0:08:06.520 on that? 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.400 Well, this book, for instance, came around when I was 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:11.920 dating Joe Cooy and I was very publicly in love 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:16.080 and we were demonstrative about it, and everyone was eating 0:08:16.080 --> 0:08:18.280 it up and people were happy for us and cheering 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:20.240 us on. And I had never been in like a 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:24.720 public relationship where that kind of support was so sweet. 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:27.360 I thought, oh my god, everyone's rooting for us, and 0:08:27.640 --> 0:08:29.480 I was, of course rooting for us as well. 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:32.680 And so the book was an editor had. My editor 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:33.400 had asked if. 0:08:33.280 --> 0:08:34.960 I want to write a book about falling in love 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:37.800 like Chelsea Handler falls in Love, and I said sure, 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:39.760 I would love that, and then we broke up. 0:08:39.960 --> 0:08:41.360 So I was like, WHOA. I was going to say, 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:43.440 you loved it when you were in love and then. 0:08:45.360 --> 0:08:46.840 And then I'm like, well, I guess I can't write 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:48.640 that book now. And then she was like, well, what 0:08:48.679 --> 0:08:51.680 about the breakup aspect? Because I was handling the breakup 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:54.760 in a much different way than I had in previous relationships. 0:08:55.120 --> 0:08:57.000 And I thought, I don't know that sounds like a 0:08:57.040 --> 0:08:58.839 want want to a breakup book. 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:00.080 That's so not me. 0:09:00.600 --> 0:09:02.200 And then I just said, let me just sit on 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:04.800 it for a few months and see if anything drums 0:09:04.880 --> 0:09:07.760 up in me that wants to needs an outlet, and 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:10.199 I've never really been wanted to do something for you know, 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:13.760 I usually do it in the opposite, you know, and 0:09:13.800 --> 0:09:15.839 if not for hire, it's like, I have the idea, 0:09:16.000 --> 0:09:17.520 let me tell you what I want to do. 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:19.520 So now I was like, okay, I had to come 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:21.960 up with an idea, but I didn't want to force it. 0:09:22.040 --> 0:09:23.880 And then I just thought, what do I have to say, 0:09:23.920 --> 0:09:27.760 Like as a woman as I'm turning fifty, as I 0:09:27.800 --> 0:09:32.720 have grown up in this world and especially the last 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:35.800 like ten years, and how much different I've become, and 0:09:35.840 --> 0:09:39.120 like the evolution of a person who's constantly searching to 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:42.360 find more meaning and more purpose and understand what your 0:09:42.360 --> 0:09:45.480 purpose is here, and like to use your good talents 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:48.120 for good and kind of keep. 0:09:48.000 --> 0:09:50.440 The bad stuff to a dull roar if you can. 0:09:51.240 --> 0:09:54.240 And my kind of vision as a little girl, of 0:09:54.280 --> 0:09:56.400 the kind of woman that I wanted to become. I 0:09:56.480 --> 0:09:58.679 think we all kind of lose sight of what we 0:09:58.720 --> 0:10:02.000 thought when we were kids. I remember envisioning this woman 0:10:02.040 --> 0:10:03.520 that I would be. You know, I wanted to be 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:06.680 brave and fierce and independent, and I wanted to stand 0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:09.360 up for things. And so when I really sat and 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:12.280 thought about, like where my life began and what I've 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:16.520 done with it with I thought, oh, what a kind 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:19.760 of nice guide for women to check in with themselves 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:23.000 and be questioning am I on the right track? 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:25.240 Am I on the right track that I want for myself? 0:10:25.360 --> 0:10:27.000 Or am I on a track someone else. 0:10:26.840 --> 0:10:31.120 Put me on? Yeah? I really liked it with stories about, 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:34.200 you know, different experiences. But in a way it is 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:37.400 like a self help book. You know, I found myself 0:10:37.440 --> 0:10:42.360 reading it and wondering about my own life. So I 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:46.520 think it's great in that way. And it's also very funny. 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:48.680 It's very breezy, you know, it's fun to read because 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:50.720 you feel like you're just kind of shooting the shit 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:54.280 with Chelsea Handler. But it also is very thoughtful and 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:56.640 full of heart. And I want to ask you about 0:10:57.000 --> 0:10:58.959 kind of your memories as a little girl, because you've 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:01.360 written about your childhood before Chelsea and a lot of 0:11:01.400 --> 0:11:05.080 books that you've written, But there was one very funny 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:08.400 story about your lemonade stand, and it's clear that you 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:14.240 were this ball busting, precocious, little ambitious tyke from a 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:18.319 very early age. So tell us about this lemonade stand, 0:11:18.720 --> 0:11:22.280 how you were able to maneuver You were so very 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:26.319 funny and calculating at a very early age. And not 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.560 only do I want to know about that story, but 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:31.320 where you got this from? But first tell us about 0:11:31.360 --> 0:11:32.200 the lemonade stand. 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:34.480 Well, the lemonade stand. I, first of all, I needed 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:36.800 to start making money because my parents did not have 0:11:36.840 --> 0:11:39.520 a trust fund for me or a dowry. I inquired 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:44.200 about that as well, and I realized pretty quickly that 0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:45.800 I was going to have to make my own way, 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:48.079 that my family was not going to help me. And 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:50.120 there were a lot of kids, as your mom explained 0:11:50.160 --> 0:11:52.959 to you, absolutely there were six children and there were 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.600 so that was annoying as well. When I came home 0:11:55.600 --> 0:11:57.079 from the hospital, I was like, why are there so 0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:57.960 many other kids here? 0:11:58.200 --> 0:11:59.400 How many kids do you guys have? 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:02.920 It just seemed so irresponsible, the whole dynamic, right, My 0:12:03.000 --> 0:12:05.400 parents weren't parents, they were just kind of like other 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:06.319 people that were in the. 0:12:06.280 --> 0:12:07.680 House, baby makers. 0:12:07.920 --> 0:12:11.360 Yeah, So I started a lemonade stand and then I 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:13.280 did that for one day and realized they're right. 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:15.200 And how old were you and who was your partner 0:12:15.240 --> 0:12:17.160 at the beginning? First I was eight. 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:19.520 I did a regular straight up lemonade stand, and I 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:21.719 made about three or four dollars, and I thought, well, 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:23.800 this is a complete waste of my time. And then 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:25.719 I thought, oh, you know what I need to do 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:28.160 is put a spin on the lemonade stand and turn 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:29.920 it into a hard lemonade stand. 0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:32.520 Well first, so wait, wait, wait, because first it was 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:35.000 with your sister and she demanded fifty percent, and you 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:37.320 were like, I don't want to give away fifty percent, 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:40.000 right right? So you found this kid named Nelson in 0:12:40.040 --> 0:12:40.800 your neighborhood. 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:43.800 Well, first I decided I wanted to do the hard 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:47.199 lemonade stand, Katie, and then I enlisted my sister and 0:12:47.240 --> 0:12:50.840 that it was the hard lemonade stand was with your sister, yes, 0:12:51.080 --> 0:12:53.720 So then I enlisted my sister. I didn't like the 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:56.840 overhead that required me to pay her because she wanted 0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:58.199 it to be fifty to fifty, so I had to 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:00.640 let her go after one of the like a couple 0:13:00.679 --> 0:13:02.880 of first couple of days on the sidewalk, I was like, here, 0:13:02.920 --> 0:13:03.440 so we're. 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:07.080 Not eight, eight or nine? How old are you eight? 0:13:07.120 --> 0:13:09.520 I was going to say eight o'clock and then I 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:10.079 then I. 0:13:10.080 --> 0:13:12.480 Decided to get cheaper labor, so I went and hired 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:16.160 another eight or ten year old boy named Nelson. And 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:18.520 at the end of the first I think it was 0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:21.599 like ten days it was. We went it was bonkers. 0:13:21.840 --> 0:13:24.320 Our lemonade business went through the roof in Edgar town 0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:26.839 Mark's vineyard. That we made like three hundred and fifty 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:29.400 nine dollars in the first week or ten days. And 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:32.360 I gave Nelson his commission, which was three dollars and 0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:36.400 fifty nine cents, and he was he thought he had 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:37.320 hit the jackpot. 0:13:37.760 --> 0:13:40.360 He could not believe his good fortune. But Chelsea, where 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:42.479 did you get the liquor to make the hard limonade? 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:46.560 Come on from my parents' house. You just stole it. Yeah, 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:47.520 they're not drinkers. 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:49.720 I don't even know why they had alcohol. They never drank. 0:13:49.840 --> 0:13:52.120 I'm a first generation drinker in my family. I wear 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:53.199 that as a badge of honor. 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:57.920 So proud. Yes, thank anyway, So you're making a boatload 0:13:57.960 --> 0:14:01.400 of money and you ended up like, hey, I like 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:04.520 making my own money. This is really great. But so 0:14:04.640 --> 0:14:06.640 where did you get this ambition? Do you think it's 0:14:06.679 --> 0:14:09.679 because I remember reading or talking to you about your 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:11.720 parents how you used to get yourself up to go 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:14.520 to school in the morning while they were sleeping. So 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:18.440 wasn't that early need for you to be independent and 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:22.000 a hustler. Did that lead to this ambition or do 0:14:22.040 --> 0:14:25.240 you think you're just kind of hardwired this way? I 0:14:25.240 --> 0:14:26.400 think I don't know. 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:30.200 I'm sure it's a combination of your surroundings. 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:33.880 And your nature you know that you're born with. 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:37.200 But I'm definitely a hustler and I think that's great. 0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:40.320 I mean, you're a hustler too. I think it's important 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:44.600 to also. I mean, I wanted a big, loud, brave life. 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:45.400 That's what I wanted. 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:47.200 I wanted it to be like I'm like, I have 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:49.480 to get to LA so I can become famous and 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:51.840 then people will start to understand that I have something 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:54.560 to contribute. Like I had no idea where my confidence 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:57.040 came from, but I really believed in myself and I 0:14:57.160 --> 0:14:59.720 just thought, Okay, this is how it's going to be 0:14:59.840 --> 0:15:02.560 like And when I look back and think about all 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:04.920 of these things that have come true and the fact 0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:06.680 that I am. 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:09.480 This person, it's really empowering. 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:12.720 And it's such a nice idea for all women to do, 0:15:12.960 --> 0:15:16.160 you know, to check in and make sure that you're 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:19.040 because it's like the essence of who we are as 0:15:19.200 --> 0:15:23.440 children is so clear and then the world kind of 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:26.400 shits on us and we get our hearts broken, and 0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:30.080 things happen, and we become kind of we sometimes can 0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:33.080 get away from ourselves and who the essence of who 0:15:33.120 --> 0:15:35.760 we are is. So it's really nice to think about 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:38.880 the things and the things you did as a kid, 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:40.840 you know, and to be like, oh, that's who I 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:41.320 really am. 0:15:41.640 --> 0:15:43.680 In fact, one of the quotes you include is, when 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:45.800 we are children, the essence of who we are as 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:49.080 front and center. We are unscathed by what can very 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:52.760 often be an ugly world. Bringing that child into adulthood, 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:54.880 even only for moments at a time, is how we 0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:58.200 remain true to ourselves, hold on to that child tightly 0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:00.760 as if she were your own, but because she is. 0:16:01.160 --> 0:16:03.320 I mean, a lot of this book really is on 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:06.920 the evolution of Chelsea Handler, if you will, kind of 0:16:07.120 --> 0:16:09.800 what you were like in your twenties and thirties and 0:16:09.880 --> 0:16:13.000 kind of how you've changed in your forties, but also 0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:16.800 how you've gone back and retrieved that essence of who 0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:20.480 you were as a child. Is that a fair assessment? Definitely? 0:16:20.520 --> 0:16:23.680 I love that. Yes. And it's also about therapy and 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.400 how therapy kind of helped you do that, right, Chelsea, 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:30.120 how therapy gives you the gift of a self awareness. 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:31.960 We all could use a little bit more of that, 0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:34.200 and more compassion, more. 0:16:34.040 --> 0:16:37.600 Empathy, and more of you know, it takes a lot 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:39.560 of grit to go through therapy. It takes a lot 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:42.360 of grit to face an ugly situation. But at the 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:43.920 end of it, when you come out of it, you're 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:47.000 kind of able to deal with more difficult situations in 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:50.800 a calmer, more loving way. Not every conflict doesn't have 0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:52.280 to be an explosion. 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.400 Is this called cognitive behavioral therapy, Chelsea. 0:16:55.520 --> 0:16:58.000 It is also called that, Yes, and that's another term 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:00.600 for it, or microdose LSD. 0:17:00.840 --> 0:17:04.159 They're all the same. It's all the same, commensurate. I 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:07.840 sent my daughter a paragraph because she can be kind 0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:11.080 of reactive at times, you know, and doesn't have that 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:14.600 seven second delay, and you know, kind of lashes out 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:17.600 at times. She's a wonderful person, by the way, but 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:20.440 she wrote me back. I texted it to her. She goes, 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:25.000 bro that's CBTA, Yes, it is. It is. 0:17:25.920 --> 0:17:28.640 Listen, you have to I've read so many self help 0:17:28.680 --> 0:17:32.480 books and they're all saying everyone is saying the same thing. 0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:35.040 It's a matter of the use of language that gets you. 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:36.800 It's like taking a horse to water. 0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:39.520 You know, some things resonate with certain people and some 0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:40.280 things don't. 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:42.879 But it's also I think you may clear in your book, Chelsea, 0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:45.920 it's like learning it and then putting into practice. I mean, 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:51.080 there's a big bridge between intellectually understanding yourself and actually 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:54.520 changing your behavior in real time. Right Yeah, it's the 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:57.200 application of all of the knowledge that you glean. 0:17:57.600 --> 0:17:59.600 You have to then make it. You can't just know 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:01.520 about it. You have to apply it to your life 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:03.919 and then change the way that you react in certain 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:06.800 situations and the way that you are as a person. 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:10.040 You know, and for me, I was so such a 0:18:10.359 --> 0:18:14.119 high viber and life of the party type of personality 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:17.200 that I started to that started to become my identity. 0:18:17.280 --> 0:18:19.520 So to kind of dial that back and kind of 0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:20.400 be a little. 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:23.919 Bit less fun and less and almost boring to some people, 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:26.960 you know. The contrast that was a little weird too, 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:29.600 and awkward because people are like, where's Chelsea? Like we 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:31.280 want the real Chelsea. I'm like, well, I don't know 0:18:31.280 --> 0:18:33.600 who she is anymore. I'm having a transition right now. 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:36.160 Try to take all the good parts of my personality 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:40.160 and apply them to this new, better version of myself. 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:50.280 If you will. If you want to get smarter every 0:18:50.359 --> 0:18:53.439 morning with a breakdown of the news and fascinating takes 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:56.560 on health and wellness and pop culture, sign up for 0:18:56.600 --> 0:18:59.679 our daily newsletter, Wake Up Call by going to Katiecouric 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:12.360 dot com. Did you ultimately feel like you found balance? 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:15.480 Because I know that you were very kind of introspective 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:17.520 and you stopped being the life of the party and 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:19.680 everyone was like, as you just mentioned, what the hell 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:22.479 is wrong with you? You know, bring our friend back? And 0:19:22.520 --> 0:19:25.680 were you able to kind of put the fun Chelsea 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:30.160