Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, I'm Katie Couric and this is next question.
Speaker 1: I first got to know Chelsea Handler a number of
Speaker 1: years ago when I was anchoring the CBS Evening News
Speaker 1: and our team invited her to the White House Correspondence dinner.
Speaker 1: Needless to say, we had a blast and we have
Speaker 1: been friendly ever since. I would say friends, but I
Speaker 1: don't see her that often, but when I do, I'm
Speaker 1: always really happy. So I was thrilled when she told
Speaker 1: me she would do an interview for this podcast all
Speaker 1: about her new book called I'll Have What. She's having
Speaker 1: kind of a riff on when hearing met Sally. Of course, obviously,
Speaker 1: Chelsea is really really funny, but she's also very thoughtful
Speaker 1: and a very good writer. Her writing, in fact, is
Speaker 1: full of heart. So we had a fun conversation and
Speaker 1: talked about everything under the sun. I hope you enjoy
Speaker 1: listening to it as much as I enjoyed having it.
Speaker 1: Here's Chelsea Handler. Hi, Hi, how are you going? You
Speaker 1: look great. I was just watching you with Sophia Bush.
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, Chelsea, don't do everyone before you do me.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I know so many podcasts now, It's like,
Speaker 2: you should see.
Speaker 1: The list of podcasts. I think we can start, because
Speaker 1: I know you've got a million things and I know
Speaker 1: what this is like. But first of all, Chelsea, I
Speaker 1: loved your book. Thank you, Katie, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: It's music to your ears. I know when somebody says that,
Speaker 1: because as someone else who's written one book, not eighty
Speaker 1: seven like you have, it's always nice that someone actually
Speaker 1: read the book, loved the book and tells you that, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, do you need that kind of affirmation after
Speaker 1: all these years and all these books, because I know
Speaker 1: I did when I wrote mine.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's always nice to hear that someone enjoyed something
Speaker 3: that you wrote.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. I loved to hear that. I don't depend on it,
Speaker 2: you know, because that's a slippery slope as well.
Speaker 1: That's true, that's true.
Speaker 3: If you hang your hat on that, then you hang
Speaker 3: your hat on the good and the bad.
Speaker 2: So I like to just kind of be in.
Speaker 3: A neutral zone where I don't need a lot of affirmation,
Speaker 3: but it's always very welcome to get it.
Speaker 1: Yes, well, it was so much fun reading it. Before
Speaker 1: we kind of dig in, I wanted to ask you
Speaker 1: how you're surviving this really actually pretty devastating and terrifying time.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer
Speaker 1: or anything, but do you find yourself, Chelsea, kind of
Speaker 1: reading the news NonStop and waiting for the next crazy
Speaker 1: thing that the president or his sidekick Elon Musk does.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's pretty upsetting and alarming and revolting.
Speaker 1: All of those things.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to I've been in Whistler for a little bit.
Speaker 3: I'm about to come back and do my press and
Speaker 3: and I am just thinking of the ways that I
Speaker 3: can double down on my love and my kindness and
Speaker 3: my empathy to be even more compassionate and generous with
Speaker 3: my time and resources for all of the people who
Speaker 3: feel so scared and fearful. You know, I'm in that group,
Speaker 3: but obviously not as an immediate threat to my life.
Speaker 3: I don't know what to say about everything that we're
Speaker 3: reading and experiencing. And I and I my one thing
Speaker 3: when we came into this administration was like, I'm not
Speaker 3: letting them steal my joy again, Like you're not going
Speaker 3: to steal my four years of like you made me.
Speaker 1: So angry and you know, ugly and anxious. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: so here we are again.
Speaker 3: But I'm like Okay, Well, all you can ever really
Speaker 3: choose is how you respond to a situation. And I'm
Speaker 3: going to choose to be calm and to be and
Speaker 3: double down on all the good stuff and do what
Speaker 3: I can do within the people that I come into
Speaker 3: contact with in my communities, you know, and obviously be
Speaker 3: there for the bigger actions when they're necessary, and we
Speaker 3: have like an idea, yeah, what to do.
Speaker 2: But right now it's pretty it's pretty disheartening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so many people, I know, Chelsea, are feeling so
Speaker 1: hopeless and powerless. And you know, I'm curious because I
Speaker 1: do think focusing on the people who are most vulnerable
Speaker 1: and doing what you can to support them and encourage
Speaker 1: them is a great outlet. But I'm curious when you
Speaker 1: say that, what kind of people are you talking about? Like,
Speaker 1: when you envision helping certain people, are you talking about
Speaker 1: the LGBTQ community. Are you talking about.
Speaker 3: I'm talking about any community that's being targeted by this administration,
Speaker 3: which is you know, the trans community, any person of color, really,
Speaker 3: I mean, the all women are threatened by this. I'm
Speaker 3: talking about just kind of extending love and like gratitude
Speaker 3: and all of the good stuff because we're faced with
Speaker 3: such a dark situation, So what requires us to dig
Speaker 3: even deeper for the light and to actually remind each
Speaker 3: other about the power of togetherness.
Speaker 2: Like for me in my.
Speaker 3: Life lifetime, this is the first time where it really
Speaker 3: feels like women understand the importance of having each other's
Speaker 3: back and of working together. The whole reason we're in
Speaker 3: this political atmosphere is because of the threat that men
Speaker 3: feel from women because we are so powerful, because we
Speaker 3: are not going anywhere, because we've discovered that we don't
Speaker 3: our only value doesn't come from being a mother or
Speaker 3: a wife, that we have value and multitude of other ways.
Speaker 3: Like that's why men are so scared and freaking out
Speaker 3: and acting like this, because they're like, oh, here they come,
Speaker 3: and they're right, we're coming.
Speaker 1: So I have to hold on to that, And that
Speaker 1: is very much the.
Speaker 3: Essence of what I'm talking about in my book is
Speaker 3: about reminding each other of how powerful each of us
Speaker 3: are and to be a sister to every single person
Speaker 3: that you can be a sister to, especially when the
Speaker 3: backdrop is so odious.
Speaker 1: I couldn't agree more. On the other hand, there are
Speaker 1: a lot of sisters who are supporting what's happening in
Speaker 1: this country, which I find mind boggling and really discouraging.
Speaker 1: And you know, it's really not a unified front when
Speaker 1: it comes to women in America.
Speaker 3: No, and it never has been. But that's we were
Speaker 3: you know that that's going to take time too. We
Speaker 3: were poisoned by men to you know, like it's a
Speaker 3: zero as sum game between women.
Speaker 1: So we've believed that women are a threat to each
Speaker 1: other too.
Speaker 3: But now I feel like at least we're coming out
Speaker 3: of that haze, while there's still some remaining women who
Speaker 3: haven't gotten a memo. I believe in women, like I
Speaker 3: think women are going to be the ones that save
Speaker 3: the day.
Speaker 1: And I also think there are some really great men
Speaker 1: out there. You know, I hate when we kind of
Speaker 1: make these rash generalizations like all men and even the patriarchy. Yes,
Speaker 1: our society was founded on patriarchal principles, but I also
Speaker 1: feel like there are so many men out there who
Speaker 1: don't want to turn the clock back, Chelsea, who appreciate
Speaker 1: us and what we contribute. At least that's my experience. Absolutely. Yes,
Speaker 1: of course, there's.
Speaker 3: You know, there are men that are incredible and totally
Speaker 3: get it, and those are the men that I respect
Speaker 3: and can have sex with because I can be attracted
Speaker 3: to them because this other thing is just a it's
Speaker 3: such a talk about an ick like I mean, you know,
Speaker 3: so anyway, that's my choice. I feel like optimism is
Speaker 3: a choice, and the darker things get, the lighter.
Speaker 1: We have to become. Let's be like together, Chelsea Handler,
Speaker 1: because I am right there with you. Well, let's talk
Speaker 1: about this book because we're here to do that and
Speaker 1: to let everybody know what this book is about. It's
Speaker 1: called I'll have what She's having. It's your seventh book,
Speaker 1: not your eighty seventh book. I was trying to be funny,
Speaker 1: but you know, as I mentioned, I wrote a memoir
Speaker 1: and almost put me in my grave. So what is
Speaker 1: with you and writing books? You obviously love it. The
Speaker 1: dedication is to all the flight attendants because you write
Speaker 1: primarily on planes. I'm just curious about your writing process
Speaker 1: a little bit, Chelsea, sort of how you come up
Speaker 1: with the idea, the genesis of that, How do you
Speaker 1: kind of process each of these books, how you pick
Speaker 1: the topic. Can you give me some sort of insight
Speaker 1: on that?
Speaker 3: Well, this book, for instance, came around when I was
Speaker 3: dating Joe Cooy and I was very publicly in love
Speaker 3: and we were demonstrative about it, and everyone was eating
Speaker 3: it up and people were happy for us and cheering
Speaker 3: us on. And I had never been in like a
Speaker 3: public relationship where that kind of support was so sweet.
Speaker 3: I thought, oh my god, everyone's rooting for us, and
Speaker 3: I was, of course rooting for us as well.
Speaker 2: And so the book was an editor had. My editor
Speaker 2: had asked if.
Speaker 3: I want to write a book about falling in love
Speaker 3: like Chelsea Handler falls in Love, and I said sure,
Speaker 3: I would love that, and then we broke up.
Speaker 1: So I was like, WHOA. I was going to say,
Speaker 1: you loved it when you were in love and then.
Speaker 3: And then I'm like, well, I guess I can't write
Speaker 3: that book now. And then she was like, well, what
Speaker 3: about the breakup aspect? Because I was handling the breakup
Speaker 3: in a much different way than I had in previous relationships.
Speaker 3: And I thought, I don't know that sounds like a
Speaker 3: want want to a breakup book.
Speaker 1: That's so not me.
Speaker 3: And then I just said, let me just sit on
Speaker 3: it for a few months and see if anything drums
Speaker 3: up in me that wants to needs an outlet, and
Speaker 3: I've never really been wanted to do something for you know,
Speaker 3: I usually do it in the opposite, you know, and
Speaker 3: if not for hire, it's like, I have the idea,
Speaker 3: let me tell you what I want to do.
Speaker 1: So now I was like, okay, I had to come
Speaker 1: up with an idea, but I didn't want to force it.
Speaker 3: And then I just thought, what do I have to say,
Speaker 3: Like as a woman as I'm turning fifty, as I
Speaker 3: have grown up in this world and especially the last
Speaker 3: like ten years, and how much different I've become, and
Speaker 3: like the evolution of a person who's constantly searching to
Speaker 3: find more meaning and more purpose and understand what your
Speaker 3: purpose is here, and like to use your good talents
Speaker 3: for good and kind of keep.
Speaker 1: The bad stuff to a dull roar if you can.
Speaker 3: And my kind of vision as a little girl, of
Speaker 3: the kind of woman that I wanted to become. I
Speaker 3: think we all kind of lose sight of what we
Speaker 3: thought when we were kids. I remember envisioning this woman
Speaker 3: that I would be. You know, I wanted to be
Speaker 3: brave and fierce and independent, and I wanted to stand
Speaker 3: up for things. And so when I really sat and
Speaker 3: thought about, like where my life began and what I've
Speaker 3: done with it with I thought, oh, what a kind
Speaker 3: of nice guide for women to check in with themselves
Speaker 3: and be questioning am I on the right track?
Speaker 2: Am I on the right track that I want for myself?
Speaker 2: Or am I on a track someone else.
Speaker 1: Put me on? Yeah? I really liked it with stories about,
Speaker 1: you know, different experiences. But in a way it is
Speaker 1: like a self help book. You know, I found myself
Speaker 1: reading it and wondering about my own life. So I
Speaker 1: think it's great in that way. And it's also very funny.
Speaker 1: It's very breezy, you know, it's fun to read because
Speaker 1: you feel like you're just kind of shooting the shit
Speaker 1: with Chelsea Handler. But it also is very thoughtful and
Speaker 1: full of heart. And I want to ask you about
Speaker 1: kind of your memories as a little girl, because you've
Speaker 1: written about your childhood before Chelsea and a lot of
Speaker 1: books that you've written, But there was one very funny
Speaker 1: story about your lemonade stand, and it's clear that you
Speaker 1: were this ball busting, precocious, little ambitious tyke from a
Speaker 1: very early age. So tell us about this lemonade stand,
Speaker 1: how you were able to maneuver You were so very
Speaker 1: funny and calculating at a very early age. And not
Speaker 1: only do I want to know about that story, but
Speaker 1: where you got this from? But first tell us about
Speaker 1: the lemonade stand.
Speaker 3: Well, the lemonade stand. I, first of all, I needed
Speaker 3: to start making money because my parents did not have
Speaker 3: a trust fund for me or a dowry. I inquired
Speaker 3: about that as well, and I realized pretty quickly that
Speaker 3: I was going to have to make my own way,
Speaker 3: that my family was not going to help me. And
Speaker 3: there were a lot of kids, as your mom explained
Speaker 3: to you, absolutely there were six children and there were
Speaker 3: so that was annoying as well. When I came home
Speaker 3: from the hospital, I was like, why are there so
Speaker 3: many other kids here?
Speaker 1: How many kids do you guys have?
Speaker 3: It just seemed so irresponsible, the whole dynamic, right, My
Speaker 3: parents weren't parents, they were just kind of like other
Speaker 3: people that were in the.
Speaker 1: House, baby makers.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So I started a lemonade stand and then I
Speaker 3: did that for one day and realized they're right.
Speaker 1: And how old were you and who was your partner
Speaker 1: at the beginning? First I was eight.
Speaker 3: I did a regular straight up lemonade stand, and I
Speaker 3: made about three or four dollars, and I thought, well,
Speaker 3: this is a complete waste of my time. And then
Speaker 3: I thought, oh, you know what I need to do
Speaker 3: is put a spin on the lemonade stand and turn
Speaker 3: it into a hard lemonade stand.
Speaker 1: Well first, so wait, wait, wait, because first it was
Speaker 1: with your sister and she demanded fifty percent, and you
Speaker 1: were like, I don't want to give away fifty percent,
Speaker 1: right right? So you found this kid named Nelson in
Speaker 1: your neighborhood.
Speaker 3: Well, first I decided I wanted to do the hard
Speaker 3: lemonade stand, Katie, and then I enlisted my sister and
Speaker 3: that it was the hard lemonade stand was with your sister, yes,
Speaker 3: So then I enlisted my sister. I didn't like the
Speaker 3: overhead that required me to pay her because she wanted
Speaker 3: it to be fifty to fifty, so I had to
Speaker 3: let her go after one of the like a couple
Speaker 3: of first couple of days on the sidewalk, I was like, here,
Speaker 3: so we're.
Speaker 1: Not eight, eight or nine? How old are you eight?
Speaker 1: I was going to say eight o'clock and then I
Speaker 1: then I.
Speaker 3: Decided to get cheaper labor, so I went and hired
Speaker 3: another eight or ten year old boy named Nelson. And
Speaker 3: at the end of the first I think it was
Speaker 3: like ten days it was. We went it was bonkers.
Speaker 3: Our lemonade business went through the roof in Edgar town
Speaker 3: Mark's vineyard. That we made like three hundred and fifty
Speaker 3: nine dollars in the first week or ten days. And
Speaker 3: I gave Nelson his commission, which was three dollars and
Speaker 3: fifty nine cents, and he was he thought he had
Speaker 3: hit the jackpot.
Speaker 1: He could not believe his good fortune. But Chelsea, where
Speaker 1: did you get the liquor to make the hard limonade?
Speaker 1: Come on from my parents' house. You just stole it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're not drinkers.
Speaker 3: I don't even know why they had alcohol. They never drank.
Speaker 3: I'm a first generation drinker in my family. I wear
Speaker 3: that as a badge of honor.
Speaker 1: So proud. Yes, thank anyway, So you're making a boatload
Speaker 1: of money and you ended up like, hey, I like
Speaker 1: making my own money. This is really great. But so
Speaker 1: where did you get this ambition? Do you think it's
Speaker 1: because I remember reading or talking to you about your
Speaker 1: parents how you used to get yourself up to go
Speaker 1: to school in the morning while they were sleeping. So
Speaker 1: wasn't that early need for you to be independent and
Speaker 1: a hustler. Did that lead to this ambition or do
Speaker 1: you think you're just kind of hardwired this way? I
Speaker 1: think I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm sure it's a combination of your surroundings.
Speaker 3: And your nature you know that you're born with.
Speaker 2: But I'm definitely a hustler and I think that's great.
Speaker 2: I mean, you're a hustler too. I think it's important
Speaker 2: to also. I mean, I wanted a big, loud, brave life.
Speaker 1: That's what I wanted.
Speaker 3: I wanted it to be like I'm like, I have
Speaker 3: to get to LA so I can become famous and
Speaker 3: then people will start to understand that I have something
Speaker 3: to contribute. Like I had no idea where my confidence
Speaker 3: came from, but I really believed in myself and I
Speaker 3: just thought, Okay, this is how it's going to be
Speaker 3: like And when I look back and think about all
Speaker 3: of these things that have come true and the fact
Speaker 3: that I am.
Speaker 1: This person, it's really empowering.
Speaker 3: And it's such a nice idea for all women to do,
Speaker 3: you know, to check in and make sure that you're
Speaker 3: because it's like the essence of who we are as
Speaker 3: children is so clear and then the world kind of
Speaker 3: shits on us and we get our hearts broken, and
Speaker 3: things happen, and we become kind of we sometimes can
Speaker 3: get away from ourselves and who the essence of who
Speaker 3: we are is. So it's really nice to think about
Speaker 3: the things and the things you did as a kid,
Speaker 3: you know, and to be like, oh, that's who I
Speaker 3: really am.
Speaker 1: In fact, one of the quotes you include is, when
Speaker 1: we are children, the essence of who we are as
Speaker 1: front and center. We are unscathed by what can very
Speaker 1: often be an ugly world. Bringing that child into adulthood,
Speaker 1: even only for moments at a time, is how we
Speaker 1: remain true to ourselves, hold on to that child tightly
Speaker 1: as if she were your own, but because she is.
Speaker 1: I mean, a lot of this book really is on
Speaker 1: the evolution of Chelsea Handler, if you will, kind of
Speaker 1: what you were like in your twenties and thirties and
Speaker 1: kind of how you've changed in your forties, but also
Speaker 1: how you've gone back and retrieved that essence of who
Speaker 1: you were as a child. Is that a fair assessment? Definitely?
Speaker 1: I love that. Yes. And it's also about therapy and
Speaker 1: how therapy kind of helped you do that, right, Chelsea,
Speaker 1: how therapy gives you the gift of a self awareness.
Speaker 1: We all could use a little bit more of that,
Speaker 1: and more compassion, more.
Speaker 3: Empathy, and more of you know, it takes a lot
Speaker 3: of grit to go through therapy. It takes a lot
Speaker 3: of grit to face an ugly situation. But at the
Speaker 3: end of it, when you come out of it, you're
Speaker 3: kind of able to deal with more difficult situations in
Speaker 3: a calmer, more loving way. Not every conflict doesn't have
Speaker 3: to be an explosion.
Speaker 1: Is this called cognitive behavioral therapy, Chelsea.
Speaker 3: It is also called that, Yes, and that's another term
Speaker 3: for it, or microdose LSD.
Speaker 1: They're all the same. It's all the same, commensurate. I
Speaker 1: sent my daughter a paragraph because she can be kind
Speaker 1: of reactive at times, you know, and doesn't have that
Speaker 1: seven second delay, and you know, kind of lashes out
Speaker 1: at times. She's a wonderful person, by the way, but
Speaker 1: she wrote me back. I texted it to her. She goes,
Speaker 1: bro that's CBTA, Yes, it is. It is.
Speaker 3: Listen, you have to I've read so many self help
Speaker 3: books and they're all saying everyone is saying the same thing.
Speaker 3: It's a matter of the use of language that gets you.
Speaker 3: It's like taking a horse to water.
Speaker 2: You know, some things resonate with certain people and some
Speaker 2: things don't.
Speaker 1: But it's also I think you may clear in your book, Chelsea,
Speaker 1: it's like learning it and then putting into practice. I mean,
Speaker 1: there's a big bridge between intellectually understanding yourself and actually
Speaker 1: changing your behavior in real time. Right Yeah, it's the
Speaker 1: application of all of the knowledge that you glean.
Speaker 3: You have to then make it. You can't just know
Speaker 3: about it. You have to apply it to your life
Speaker 3: and then change the way that you react in certain
Speaker 3: situations and the way that you are as a person.
Speaker 3: You know, and for me, I was so such a
Speaker 3: high viber and life of the party type of personality
Speaker 3: that I started to that started to become my identity.
Speaker 2: So to kind of dial that back and kind of
Speaker 2: be a little.
Speaker 3: Bit less fun and less and almost boring to some people,
Speaker 3: you know. The contrast that was a little weird too,
Speaker 3: and awkward because people are like, where's Chelsea? Like we
Speaker 3: want the real Chelsea. I'm like, well, I don't know
Speaker 3: who she is anymore. I'm having a transition right now.
Speaker 3: Try to take all the good parts of my personality
Speaker 3: and apply them to this new, better version of myself.
Speaker 1: If you will. If you want to get smarter every
Speaker 1: morning with a breakdown of the news and fascinating takes
Speaker 1: on health and wellness and pop culture, sign up for
Speaker 1: our daily newsletter, Wake Up Call by going to Katiecouric
Speaker 1: dot com. Did you ultimately feel like you found balance?
Speaker 1: Because I know that you were very kind of introspective
Speaker 1: and you stopped being the life of the party and
Speaker 1: everyone was like, as you just mentioned, what the hell
Speaker 1: is wrong with you? You know, bring our friend back? And
Speaker 1: were you able to kind of put the fun Chelsea
Speaker 1: together with the more thoughtful Chelsea or the more listening
Speaker 1: Chelsea ultimately, Because I don't know that's hard to do, right.
Speaker 3: Yes, But I think first of all, it kind of
Speaker 3: happens naturally and organically because it's very I think it's.
Speaker 1: Similar to going to school all year.
Speaker 3: You go to school for nine months out of the year,
Speaker 3: and then you have the summer, which is three months
Speaker 3: to kind of absorb everything you learned over the school year.
Speaker 2: While you're not learning, you know, you let it sink in.
Speaker 2: So I think that's analogous to therapy.
Speaker 3: It takes time to sink in and while it was
Speaker 3: many moments of severe disco or ugliness or you know,
Speaker 3: self loathing or whatever comes along with really taking a
Speaker 3: good look at yourself, the end result is you become
Speaker 3: more solid and more grounded than you ever were.
Speaker 1: You become like a tree. You're like, okay, I've been
Speaker 1: through this. I'm not a leaf. I'm the tree actually,
Speaker 1: And that's how you start to go through the world.
Speaker 1: And then you're a little.
Speaker 3: Bit more unshakable, so you're even stronger than you were before.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about all the people who can't afford therapy,
Speaker 1: you know, Chelsea, And I think, is there is there
Speaker 1: something you learned or something that people can do to
Speaker 1: get more centered and kind of to become a tree
Speaker 1: instead of a leaf? And what was the most important
Speaker 1: thing I think in the whole process that you learned.
Speaker 2: I think it ordered for us to be a little
Speaker 2: bit more on solid ground.
Speaker 3: We really have to practice, you know, being proud of ourselves,
Speaker 3: being like happy about where we are, thinking about all
Speaker 3: the things that we're grateful for, and these things and
Speaker 3: sound corny when you don't really practice them, like oh,
Speaker 3: I'm going to write a gratitude journal. No, I'm not
Speaker 3: going to write a gratitude journal, but I Am going
Speaker 3: to get up every morning and sit write down ten
Speaker 3: things that I'm grateful for.
Speaker 2: Whether it's my house, my friends, my shirt, my hair, whatever.
Speaker 3: Just stay it, be grateful. It creates gratitude around you,
Speaker 3: and it creates abundance. Like all of these things are true.
Speaker 3: I've been down the road with everything, so I wouldn't
Speaker 3: be talking about it unless it was authentically.
Speaker 1: The stuff that I do. And I can can see
Speaker 1: the change.
Speaker 3: And I think in order to really be grounded, you
Speaker 3: have to know and understand and respect yourself, Like you
Speaker 3: have to have the confidence of your convictions and.
Speaker 2: Know that wherever you are in life, you're the reason
Speaker 2: that you're here.
Speaker 3: You got yourself this far, and it's it's very likely
Speaker 3: that you're going to get yourself a lot farther, just
Speaker 3: based on the fact that you got yourself this far.
Speaker 3: So like there's data, you know, we're providing data for ourselves,
Speaker 3: So that's you should have in confidence and then be
Speaker 3: instilling yourself with confidence every day.
Speaker 1: I was very interested in reading about confidence in your
Speaker 1: book because I think when I give talks or people
Speaker 1: ask me questions, a lot of times it does revolve
Speaker 1: around confidence, especially for women, and I love that you've
Speaker 1: had a solid sense of yourself, although it's been tested
Speaker 1: at times in your life too. But I wanted to
Speaker 1: read a couple of paragraphs because I really liked them.
Speaker 1: When you got fired from your job as a receptionist
Speaker 1: at a law firm, right, and you write, I didn't
Speaker 1: care that he called me stupid. Some lawyer had called
Speaker 1: and said, when can we fire the blomb bimbo? That's
Speaker 1: the receptionist, right, And it was you he was asking me, Right,
Speaker 1: So you said I didn't care that he called me stupid.
Speaker 1: I knew I wasn't stupid. I've been called stupid many
Speaker 1: times in my life. I've been called dumb, obnoxious, trashy, raunchy, crasts,
Speaker 1: a fake, and various other things throughout my career. I've
Speaker 1: been all of those things at certain moments, but not
Speaker 1: one of those words in cup who I Am. If
Speaker 1: this had happened on a different day, I would have
Speaker 1: walked out of that law office in tears. None of
Speaker 1: that happened because he caught me on a day where
Speaker 1: I felt good about myself, hopeful about the future, even
Speaker 1: though my life was anything but stable in that moment,
Speaker 1: I was my true self that day, and I was
Speaker 1: grounded in that idea that I would set out to
Speaker 1: do what I came to California to do, to make
Speaker 1: a living at being me and the grand scheme of things.
Speaker 1: This man didn't matter at all. He serves as a
Speaker 1: reminder to me on the days when I do not
Speaker 1: feel strong, confident, or hopeful, to tap into the version
Speaker 1: of me who does, to know that every feeling passes,
Speaker 1: that no moment in time is permanent, and that the
Speaker 1: truest version of who we all are is confident, hopeful,
Speaker 1: and resilient. I just love that because you know, I
Speaker 1: think you conceive that. Not every day you feel that way,
Speaker 1: but there is that part of you you can always
Speaker 1: call on when you're not. Yeah, it's like leaning on
Speaker 1: someone else's show.
Speaker 3: You know, as women what we have to do and
Speaker 3: extend the kindness we have to extend to each other
Speaker 3: in the name of sisterhood.
Speaker 1: It's like, if you don't.
Speaker 3: Have that at your disposal in that moment, lean on
Speaker 3: your own sisterhood, like you have yourself to lean on,
Speaker 3: and that's also the strongest shoulder in your life. So really, too,
Speaker 3: we have to have, you know, the ability to know
Speaker 3: how valuable we all are, every single one of us.
Speaker 2: And it's a good reminder.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I just thought it was a great pep talk
Speaker 1: to yourself and ergo a great pep talk to the reader,
Speaker 1: and you talk about sisterhood. Jane Fonda, you also write
Speaker 1: about you all were friends, and you know she had
Speaker 1: you come over to her house for dinner because she
Speaker 1: was pissed. It kind of the energy you were admitting
Speaker 1: at a John Lewis fundraiser, And I thought that was
Speaker 1: as you talk about that being a true sign of sisterhood,
Speaker 1: that she would take the I'm an effort to kind
Speaker 1: of tell you that and be so brutally honest that
Speaker 1: you were really grateful, and it kind of shook you
Speaker 1: a little bit, didn't it. Absolutely?
Speaker 3: And what she said to me and summoned me over
Speaker 3: to her house and kind of told me that my
Speaker 3: behavior was bad and that I had acted badly and
Speaker 3: offended people, it was pretty mortifying to hear.
Speaker 1: Not pretty mortifying, it was mortifying.
Speaker 3: I was horrified at myself, and I had just been
Speaker 3: to therapy for enough time to understand that being defensive
Speaker 3: is just an admittance of being wrong. You can't be
Speaker 3: defensive when someone's telling you something about yourself, and if
Speaker 3: it's not true, then you wouldn't be defensive anyway because
Speaker 3: it doesn't matter, you know, it's just simply not true.
Speaker 3: So it was true what she said to me. And
Speaker 3: through even the mortification of hearing that and being so
Speaker 3: disappointed in myself and being so horrified that she was
Speaker 3: disappointed in me, the overarching theme of that moment I
Speaker 3: remember thinking was like, Wow, she's really being a great,
Speaker 3: big sister to me. Like that's the kind of sister
Speaker 3: I'm going to be to some two other women.
Speaker 1: And I think people who can be really honest about
Speaker 1: their feelings, like I wasn't really honest about something that
Speaker 1: happened between you and me, and it was really not you,
Speaker 1: but it hurt my feelings, and I wish I had
Speaker 1: just said to you, Chelsea, it really hurt my feelings
Speaker 1: that you didn't defend me on your talk show. What happened. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember this, but I had
Speaker 1: a syndicated talk show. It wasn't a very good fit
Speaker 1: for me because I'm kind of a news for her,
Speaker 1: as you know, but you were nice enough to come
Speaker 1: on the talk show, and at one point I was saying,
Speaker 1: I was really excited that Jennifer Aniston was getting married,
Speaker 1: you know, because I really liked her. I was happy
Speaker 1: for her, and I think I must have said something like,
Speaker 1: you know, are you going to the wedding? You know,
Speaker 1: just like what you do on daytime talk shows, right,
Speaker 1: And then she came on your talk show and you
Speaker 1: meant it in a nice way, and she said, I
Speaker 1: thought Katie Kuric didn't Katie kirk used to be a journalist,
Speaker 1: and I thought it was such a diss and maybe
Speaker 1: she was trying to be funny or I don't know what,
Speaker 1: but I felt like you should have defended me and said,
Speaker 1: but she was really being nice and trying to be
Speaker 1: really supportive and loving towards you. But you didn't, and
Speaker 1: it hurt my feelings.
Speaker 3: So now i'm oh, oh I did, because I think
Speaker 3: you did say this to me before. I remember, Yes,
Speaker 3: I remember you being upset about it, and I remember
Speaker 3: being surprised. I don't know if you texted or email me,
Speaker 3: but yes, you definitely did. So, first of all, don't
Speaker 3: see you did to stand up for yourself and you
Speaker 3: don't even.
Speaker 1: Remember maybe dementia is another one of my problems. We're
Speaker 1: all we don't worry, we're all going we're head in
Speaker 1: that direction.
Speaker 3: But I'm glad you said it again nevertheless, And yes,
Speaker 3: I don't think it didn't even cross my mind that
Speaker 3: she was dissing you in that moment.
Speaker 1: I think she really coflecting. Yes, I didn't read it
Speaker 1: that way at all. No, maybe I'm hyper sensitive about
Speaker 1: stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Well maybe, I mean, maybe not, I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 3: it was it either way. It's not the you know,
Speaker 3: it's not like such a big dig.
Speaker 1: I know, well kind of if I know, for somebody
Speaker 1: who's spent her whole career trying to be taken seriously
Speaker 1: and being really proud, I think. But that's what I mean.
Speaker 3: I think everyone does take you seriously, can't correct, so
Speaker 3: from my lips to your ears, I think you can
Speaker 3: count on that.
Speaker 1: Okay, thank you. I feel much better now. But yes,
Speaker 1: I feel like even though I texted you, I feel
Speaker 1: like we had never really talked about it.
Speaker 3: So well, thank you for bringing it up and my apologies.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Yeah, now I understand where you're coming from.
Speaker 1: I get it, Okay, Thank you all. Right. Somebody asked
Speaker 1: me to ask you. You're known for being fearless. What
Speaker 1: is the one thing that still scares you? Oh? What
Speaker 1: scares me? Oh? God?
Speaker 3: The commitment to any sort of long term commitment, whether
Speaker 3: it be to a person, or to a job, or
Speaker 3: to living somewhere.
Speaker 1: Like, I like you like freedom. I think you value
Speaker 1: freedom above everything. Yeah? Yeah, what is it about commitment
Speaker 1: or about being tied down scares you so much? And
Speaker 1: I'm sure with therapy did you talk about that? Is
Speaker 1: that your parents' marriage. I'm trying to figure that out.
Speaker 3: I think I don't look at it as a fear
Speaker 3: of something. I want to be free. I want to
Speaker 3: be able to fly around the world. I want to
Speaker 3: be I love a sense of like when something's impromptuo,
Speaker 3: I love spontaneity. Like I look at it as like
Speaker 3: I just want to like fly if anything that could
Speaker 3: prohibit me learning and growing and traveling is like oh,
Speaker 3: and so yes, I could see.
Speaker 2: How it would be a fear. But I think through
Speaker 2: therapy I learned that it's okay that.
Speaker 1: I have these feelings.
Speaker 3: It's okay that I don't desire a long term romantic commitment.
Speaker 3: It's okay. Instead of wondering what's wrong with me. It's like,
Speaker 3: I want to love you. Yeah, I want a lot
Speaker 3: of lovers. I want to have a lot of sex
Speaker 3: with lots of different guys. I want to have lovers
Speaker 3: in different parts of the world. That's okay for me
Speaker 3: to say, and that's true. That's how I feel.
Speaker 1: And I love loved the section about your COVID crush
Speaker 1: on Andrew Cuomo. You know, he's running, he's running for
Speaker 1: mayor Chelsea, so he's probably going to be in the
Speaker 1: public eye a little bit more. But I mean, you
Speaker 1: are so funny. You were turned on by Andrew Cuomo
Speaker 1: during his press conferences during COVID because he seems strong
Speaker 1: and in charge and telling everyone what to do. And
Speaker 1: I think a lot of women actually had a crush
Speaker 1: on Andrew Cuomo during that time. And then you became
Speaker 1: super obsessed with his nipples. I don't know where I was,
Speaker 1: but I missed Nipplegate tell me about his nipples. People
Speaker 1: were so I can't believe I'm asking you to tell
Speaker 1: me about Andrew Cuomo's nipples. I'm so glad that you are.
Speaker 3: He would be in those browarning press conferences, you know,
Speaker 3: with his crew he had that like, you know, first assistant,
Speaker 3: that woman who was like this badass and would just
Speaker 3: yell at everybody. And he had that white those white
Speaker 3: golf shirts on sometimes you would wear like a shirt,
Speaker 3: a business shirt, you know, a suit shirt.
Speaker 2: But his nipples were always protruding, like they were always
Speaker 2: very hard.
Speaker 3: So then people were speculating on the internet that he
Speaker 3: may have had nipple piercings. And I knew enough to
Speaker 3: know that no straight man over sixty has his nipple pierced,
Speaker 3: you know, white guy, Why why would he do that?
Speaker 3: So but then when I went to investigate the nipple situation,
Speaker 3: because I did believe I was going to be penetrated
Speaker 3: by him, I went and zoomed in on his nipples
Speaker 3: and realized there was a far worse situation percolating.
Speaker 1: He had droopy nipples, his nipples were headed in a
Speaker 1: southerly direction.
Speaker 3: Katie and I had never faced a storm like that before,
Speaker 3: so that made me rethink everything.
Speaker 1: Well, you had a text flirtation with him that lasted
Speaker 1: some time. You were even planning to rendezvous. He said
Speaker 1: he was open to dinner at the governor's mansion. You
Speaker 1: didn't want to date him. You just want wanted to
Speaker 1: have sex with him, and then the worst possible thing happened.
Speaker 1: He ghosted me. So sad what happened? To talk about
Speaker 1: a bullet dodge?
Speaker 3: My sister's like, you seem to get out of all
Speaker 3: these situations just in the nick of time. I think
Speaker 3: somebody in his office caught wind of him talking to
Speaker 3: me and realized what a bad look that would be.
Speaker 3: In the middle of telling everyone to stand six feet
Speaker 3: apart for me to be like.
Speaker 1: And then some of your then your sisters or somebody
Speaker 1: suggested you guys have sex outside.
Speaker 3: And from behind that way, Yeah, double safety with masks on. Yes, yes,
Speaker 3: of course, Katie. Obviously if you're going to take it
Speaker 3: from behind, you need a mask. And it never No,
Speaker 3: it never happened.
Speaker 1: This is probably this is probably the I don't know,
Speaker 1: the most risk a podcast I've ever done. Good.
Speaker 3: I'm glad to serve up my purpose. I'm happy, I'm
Speaker 3: happy to provide that for you. And yes, he ghosted me.
Speaker 3: I was debit stated because it was in the middle
Speaker 3: of COVID, so people in COVID who were not in
Speaker 3: relationships were scared.
Speaker 1: I know I was.
Speaker 3: I was like, Oh my god, is this it like,
Speaker 3: are we ever going to be able to interact again?
Speaker 1: Like a sex is gonna happen.
Speaker 3: So when he came on the scene, it was like
Speaker 3: a mirage, and I just thought, I'm gonna I have
Speaker 3: the advantage of being a public person if I put
Speaker 3: it out there that I want to have sex with him,
Speaker 3: kill here about it, and then I'll hear from him.
Speaker 3: And that's exactly what happened, until it didn't happen.
Speaker 1: So is it over? Do you think there's a chance
Speaker 1: this relationship could be I don't know, restarted in some way.
Speaker 3: I think it's I think it's seen, it's I think
Speaker 3: it's over now you do think, I'm sure as soon
Speaker 3: as he hears all of me telling everybody the story,
Speaker 3: that will really be the nail in the coffin. But
Speaker 3: the nail in the coffin was when he was removed
Speaker 3: from office for being a sexual predator.
Speaker 1: So, so, somehow did you lost interest? I lost interest? Yes,
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you also about that story about
Speaker 1: President George W. Bush. I didn't realize you and Barbara
Speaker 1: Bush were friendly. Obviously George W. Bush's daughter twins with
Speaker 1: Jenna Bush Hager, and you went to Kenny Bunpoort with
Speaker 1: kind of your whole crew. Right. Yes, we went there
Speaker 1: and I didn't want to go there.
Speaker 3: I was resistant, and they were like, no, no, come on, well,
Speaker 3: you don't take this opportunity away from us, Chelsea. We
Speaker 3: want to go to Kenny Buckport. We want to go
Speaker 3: to the Bush Compound. And it was to play pickleball.
Speaker 3: Another ridiculous aspect of that day.
Speaker 1: I know we'll discuss pickleball in a moment. Because I'm
Speaker 1: a pickleball lover, you're a pickleball hater.
Speaker 3: I would expect nothing less than you being a pickleball lover.
Speaker 1: I know that you would love that. That is so funny.
Speaker 1: And then I know you love skiing top lists. I mean,
Speaker 1: we're two very different people, Chelsea, two peas and some
Speaker 1: sort of odd pod exactly exactly. And George W. Bush
Speaker 1: charmed the pants off you. Well, not literally, but he
Speaker 1: was charming. He was definitely charming, you said. The way
Speaker 1: the former president paid attention to and spoke with my
Speaker 1: brothers made all my guard rails fall away. He charmed me.
Speaker 1: I found him delightful with his riggage, good looks, and
Speaker 1: he had dimples too, which helped me rationalize these new
Speaker 1: feelings as so I reminded myself that it was really
Speaker 1: Dick Cheney who was the puppet master responsible for the
Speaker 1: war in Afghanistan and the response to nine to eleven.
Speaker 1: This is why I could never be a politician or jurer.
Speaker 1: I would constantly change my mind based on people's dimples
Speaker 1: and good looks. He is very charming, isn't he.
Speaker 3: Yes, and he's very nice, and so was the former
Speaker 3: First Lady Laura Bush. And she's got dimples too, So
Speaker 3: it was kind of like a dimple affront.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I couldn't. I had no defense against all those dimples.
Speaker 1: All right, why do you hate tickleball? Chelsea Handler? And
Speaker 1: I'd like to remind you I was literally on the
Speaker 1: cover of Pickleball magazine. Just if anybody is interested coffees,
Speaker 1: you're still available. I just was.
Speaker 3: Thinking, though, this is off topic, but I was just
Speaker 3: thinking when you were telling me about the Jennifer Anison
Speaker 3: thing and how your feelings were hurt, I was thinking,
Speaker 3: I'm like, I feel like I've publicly defended you a lot.
Speaker 3: And then I was like, oh, no, I haven't had to,
Speaker 3: because you don't need defending.
Speaker 1: But I do. I want you to know how.
Speaker 3: Many times I've brought up that Sarah Palin interview to
Speaker 3: journalists where I'm like, Katie Kirk did not receive the
Speaker 3: credit she deserved for taking down Sarah Palin, because if
Speaker 3: it were not for Katie Kirk's interview with Sarah Palin,
Speaker 3: she would have become the vice president. Like that was
Speaker 3: at a time where discrediting someone actually mattered, and you
Speaker 3: did that.
Speaker 2: So I wanted to say I wanted to put that
Speaker 2: on the record.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Chelsea. I do think actually I got a
Speaker 1: lot of credit from people and journalists because you're right,
Speaker 1: it's so interesting. I mean, there's a whole another conversation
Speaker 1: we can have another time or off the podcast. But
Speaker 1: you know, it doesn't really matter now these kind of
Speaker 1: interviews because everyone is so cemented in their views that
Speaker 1: they would a not see it or be call it
Speaker 1: biased or whatever. It just it's we live in a
Speaker 1: world where up is down and down is up and
Speaker 1: there's no kind of nuance. It's just black and white
Speaker 1: and it's crazy. But thank you. I'm very proud of
Speaker 1: that interview only because I think it was fair and
Speaker 1: I think it was very revelatory that she was not
Speaker 1: ready for prime time and really not equipped to run
Speaker 1: the country. And at the time, people may have forgotten
Speaker 1: that John McCain had had cancer four times, and you know,
Speaker 1: he was considerably older, and you know, there was a
Speaker 1: real possibility that he could have you know, I really
Speaker 1: like John McCain. Yeah, me too, and uh but you know,
Speaker 1: that was a very powerful position to be a heartbeat
Speaker 1: away from the president at that moment in time, and
Speaker 1: Obama at that moment was also flatlining in the polls.
Speaker 1: You know, he kind of dipped and I always thought
Speaker 1: he should have sent me a bouquet of flowers. But
Speaker 1: that's okay, Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, anyway, thank you. I
Speaker 1: appreciate you pointing that out. But back to pickleball, Why
Speaker 1: do you hate it so much?
Speaker 2: That's too important, that's get it back to the basics.
Speaker 1: I don't hate pickleball.
Speaker 3: I just think it's ridiculous how enthusiastic people are about it,
Speaker 3: and how.
Speaker 1: You're kind of a contrarian. You love to hate things
Speaker 1: that people love. Yes, it's a cult.
Speaker 3: When there's a cult like reaction to something I have,
Speaker 3: I removed, I'm like, oh, even if some everyone's watching like,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 1: Really like the Menenda's brothers.
Speaker 3: I have to wait until everyone's done and then I
Speaker 3: go in because I don't like to I don't like
Speaker 3: to be led.
Speaker 1: I have to feel like it's my own decision. You know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have a little of that in me too. You know,
Speaker 1: if something is super popular, I kind of tend to
Speaker 1: not like so I kind of I totally get it. Yeah. So,
Speaker 1: but pickleball just is.
Speaker 3: I had my girlfriend, my girlfriend Wendy call me one
Speaker 3: day and she said, oh my god, I played pickleball yesterday.
Speaker 1: She goes, I'm so sure today, and I.
Speaker 3: Just fell over laughing, and she was so offended. She
Speaker 3: was like, am I come on, you're sore from pickleball.
Speaker 3: That's not even a real sport. And then she got
Speaker 3: so she kept she kept doubling down. You do move
Speaker 3: around a lot, Chelsea. No, I know, I know you
Speaker 3: do move but she she was doubling down on it
Speaker 3: and getting so defensive that it just made me realize
Speaker 3: how seriously people take this pickle It's just too much.
Speaker 1: It's like everyone needs to relax. Meanwhile, I also loved
Speaker 1: you talking about your nieces and nephews, and I know
Speaker 1: people have offered their unsolicited opinion about the fact that
Speaker 1: you have chosen not to have kids. You never really
Speaker 1: wanted to have kids. But one thing that comes through
Speaker 1: in the book is how incredibly maternal you are and
Speaker 1: how generous you've been to so many people, your nieces
Speaker 1: and your nephews and obviously your siblings and your friends.
Speaker 1: And when people understand these deep, profound relationships you have
Speaker 1: with so many children, do they shut up and stop
Speaker 1: judging you for not having your own? Yeah?
Speaker 3: But I mean the people that are really judging me
Speaker 3: about not having children aren't around me, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean. Yeah, they're not seeing this, so i'd ever
Speaker 3: even you know, when I was thinking of things to
Speaker 3: share in this book that I hadn't shared before, that
Speaker 3: was an element that I realized, Oh, I have so
Speaker 3: many of these close relationships, and people, don't people just
Speaker 3: assume I hate children.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, I don't hate children. I just don't
Speaker 1: want them.
Speaker 3: It's a big difference, because you know, it's to me,
Speaker 3: it's like you know your taste in things.
Speaker 2: It's like do you like purple or do you like blue?
Speaker 1: I don't know that.
Speaker 3: It's just a choice that is innately mine to make
Speaker 3: and the idea that anyone would have any misgivings about
Speaker 3: it or opinions about it is ludicrous and so stupid.
Speaker 3: And it's also why I wanted to share it to
Speaker 3: the book is an example of the bandwidth that you
Speaker 3: create for yourself when you don't have your own children,
Speaker 3: and how many other children's lives you can impact just
Speaker 3: by the freedom of not having your own family.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think, especially with public figures, it's so easy
Speaker 1: to make them completely one dimensional, right, and to stereotype
Speaker 1: them and put them in a box and kind of
Speaker 1: say they are this. But I always think of Walt
Speaker 1: Whitman and the fact that he said we contain multitudes,
Speaker 1: and it's very hard, I think, when you're a public
Speaker 1: figure to make that clear to people. And I think
Speaker 1: you know, that was a really great thing for you
Speaker 1: to include. And I love the letter you wrote to
Speaker 1: them about being polite and respecting. I mean, it was
Speaker 1: a long letter where you kind of had had enough
Speaker 1: of them in your house during COVID, right Chelsea, it
Speaker 1: was during COVID, and you basically said, these are my
Speaker 1: expectations for you. I thought that was such a great letter.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people would like to xeroxet
Speaker 1: and hand it out to some of their relatives. I
Speaker 1: don't have that situation, but you know, I think it's
Speaker 1: easy to take advantage of people and not treat people respectfully.
Speaker 1: And I love you know that you said you need
Speaker 1: to be respectful of people who come in my house
Speaker 1: and do things. I think which was a message of
Speaker 1: be as kind to the doorman as you are to
Speaker 1: the CEO. Basically that everyone deserves or respect. What was
Speaker 1: their reaction to that letter. Were they taken aback or
Speaker 1: did they appreciate it in hindsight? I think, you know,
Speaker 1: after a while they did it.
Speaker 3: At first, I think everybody was very defensive, you know
Speaker 3: well who it was very much like that. And then
Speaker 3: when they sat back and thought, like, why would I
Speaker 3: take the time to write this letter?
Speaker 1: It was actually after several vacations.
Speaker 3: It was not just COVID, it was we had been
Speaker 3: on several vacations together during COVID right over the years too.
Speaker 1: You know, I want to spoil my family.
Speaker 3: I always have, and I was part of the problem, admitted,
Speaker 3: I was setting up these really lavish vacations and thinking
Speaker 3: everyone was just going to behave gratefully forever.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it was a wake up call for all
Speaker 1: of us. Yeah, that's true. You're right, I think for
Speaker 1: yourself too. We're almost out of time because I know
Speaker 1: you're doing like eight thousand podcasts to promote this book.
Speaker 1: But I want to ask you about your love life
Speaker 1: if I could. I know that you decided you didn't
Speaker 1: want to write a book about falling in love with
Speaker 1: Joe Cooy because you had broken up. Then you didn't
Speaker 1: want to write a breakup book. You write a little
Speaker 1: bit about that, but you don't write too much. And
Speaker 1: I'm curious if because this was your first public relationship,
Speaker 1: right and people knew about it, did you decide I
Speaker 1: don't like that, I'm not going to share that side
Speaker 1: of my life with people. I've got to keep something
Speaker 1: sacred in private. Well, it's just more.
Speaker 3: For the people that I'm involved with that are private people,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like, if they're not a
Speaker 3: public person, it's kind of it's silly to drag them
Speaker 3: into the public life, Like why would anyone want that?
Speaker 3: So I'm old enough now to know not to Like,
Speaker 3: if I'm with another public figure, then that's a different story, right, Right,
Speaker 3: But if I'm with a private person, like I don't
Speaker 3: want anyone to have to be exposed to this.
Speaker 1: And so I know you want a lot of lovers,
Speaker 1: and I commend you for that, Chelsea, and just please,
Speaker 1: you know, make sure you have protection. But I mean,
Speaker 1: do you yearn for you know, I'm a real relationship person.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm like a one man woman. And do
Speaker 1: you ever yearn for that? And are you in a
Speaker 1: relationship now? Can you spill the tea with me a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 3: I'm in some casual things right now. I wouldn't call
Speaker 3: anything a relationship. I'm having a lot of fun and
Speaker 3: with people that I like and that I know.
Speaker 2: But do I yearn for that? It is not something
Speaker 2: that I yearn for.
Speaker 3: It's not something that I would completely renounce and say
Speaker 3: it's never gonna happen.
Speaker 2: But no, it's not something that I need.
Speaker 3: I Again, it always comes back to like read them
Speaker 3: like I want to sleep in.
Speaker 2: My own bed. I want to be alone a lot
Speaker 2: of the time.
Speaker 3: I love having visitors, but I'm never gonna I'm not
Speaker 3: living with some man, you know what I mean, or any.
Speaker 1: Man ever ever. But maybe I mean, you're it sounds
Speaker 1: like you're not maybe a part time situation, a part
Speaker 1: time situation, but you're open to a deep relationship. Yes,
Speaker 1: of course. Of course happened to Joe Coy. Can you
Speaker 1: tell me or not? Really?
Speaker 3: I mean we just had different ideas of what a
Speaker 3: relationship was like, and I wasn't up for that kind
Speaker 3: of relationship.
Speaker 1: Uh huh. He wanted to be sort of more together
Speaker 1: all the time, and you wanted to see him a
Speaker 1: lot of time. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of togetherness and a lot of just
Speaker 3: kind of old fashioned ideas about relationships.
Speaker 1: I was like, I mean, that's just not who I am.
Speaker 3: And you know, everyone knows who Anyone who knows me
Speaker 3: knows how I feel.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it shouldn't be a surprise. Yeah, definitely. Well, I
Speaker 1: know this is coming out in your birthday. You're turning
Speaker 1: the big five. Oh gosh, I'm jealous, Chelsea. Do you
Speaker 1: know that in January I turned sixty eight? Oh but
Speaker 1: so what that's amazing.
Speaker 2: Sixty eight is amazing.
Speaker 1: Look at you. You still are cute at sixty eight.
Speaker 2: You're still so cute.
Speaker 3: I always say this about you, and I've said this
Speaker 3: to you, that you have one of those spaces like
Speaker 3: Jennifer Aniston. Ironically, that will always be pretty like as
Speaker 3: a woman, no matter what age, You'll always have this
Speaker 3: cute pirkiness, like this youthfulness that and you still do
Speaker 3: you still do have that.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I wasn't fishing for a compliment, but I'll
Speaker 1: take it anyway. And by the way, I like Jennifer Aniston.
Speaker 1: I don't want her to think there's bad blood between us.
Speaker 1: I'm sure she's really concerned, but I really think she's great.
Speaker 1: All right, where are you jetting off to next Chelsea? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm here in Whistler. I'm at my house in Whistler.
Speaker 3: I have some friends that are in for the weekend
Speaker 3: and we're going to have a little preliminary birthday party
Speaker 3: for me this evening with a bunch of my scheme,
Speaker 3: my ski family, and my ski friends here. So that's
Speaker 3: what I'm getting ready for today and then I'm off
Speaker 3: to New York.
Speaker 1: I always love seeing videos of you skiing topless.
Speaker 3: Well, there'll be a new one coming out on my birthday.
Speaker 3: They're editing it right now. Yeah, what's your relationship? I'm sorry,
Speaker 3: I meant to ask you this because I'm curious. What's
Speaker 3: your relationship with drugs?
Speaker 1: And alcohol these days, Chelsea, because I know you've kind
Speaker 1: of you know, it will also shock you that I'm
Speaker 1: not really into drugs and I drink very rarely occasionally,
Speaker 1: you know, I drink wine or I have a cocktail.
Speaker 1: But You've had this very interesting kind of on off
Speaker 1: relationship with drugs and alcohol, and I know, during this
Speaker 1: kind of intense period when you started meditating and taking
Speaker 1: care of yourself and really kind of to figure out
Speaker 1: what was going on inside of you, you gave it up,
Speaker 1: and I'm curious what the situation is now.
Speaker 3: Well, funnily enough, I had this. I had to get shoulder,
Speaker 3: I had to clean out. I had an infection of
Speaker 3: my should So that forced me into a month of
Speaker 3: sobriety because I'm on intravenous antibiotics every day, so I
Speaker 3: haven't had it well. I just had to drink yesterday
Speaker 3: for the first time, or the day before.
Speaker 1: Anyway, it was a month that was nice. I welcomed it.
Speaker 3: It was a nice kind of breather before I had
Speaker 3: to hit the road and do all my press for
Speaker 3: my new book.
Speaker 1: So that was nice.
Speaker 3: I mean, my relationship is I'm always pro I'm always
Speaker 3: pro microdosing alcohol I have mushrooms. Do you like mushroom
Speaker 3: love LSD microdose? I love edibles, I love marijuana. I
Speaker 3: love all of it. I mean that's never really changed,
Speaker 3: so it just depends. I go in cycles. Sometimes I
Speaker 3: love everything. Sometimes I don't do anything. But I have
Speaker 3: a pretty healthy relationship with it. I've never gotten to
Speaker 3: the point anytime I've been in my youth and gotten
Speaker 3: to the point where I thought I was abusing it.
Speaker 3: I've taken a long break, so I never wanted to
Speaker 3: get to the point where I had to give it up.
Speaker 3: And I think I've done a pretty good job that.
Speaker 3: I was going to say. The book is called I'll
Speaker 3: Have what She's having. That sounds very appropriate given what
Speaker 3: you just said. I've never had mushrooms, I know, but
Speaker 3: mushrooms are so fun. You would just laugh your ass off,
Speaker 3: Katie and that. And I know when people can do
Speaker 3: druves or not, you would love mushrooms, you would.
Speaker 1: I light micro dos, just the giggly kind, all right, Well,
Speaker 1: duly noted. Maybe if I do it one day, I'll
Speaker 1: do it with you. Yeah, I know you like to giggle,
Speaker 1: so you're gonna like it. All right. Well, I'm so
Speaker 1: happy to see you. Congratulations on the new book. It
Speaker 1: was really fun being with you and talking to you,
Speaker 1: and good luck on the book tour. Thank you so much, Katie.
Speaker 1: Where are you going to be all over the country?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm coming to Northvale, New Jersey on the twenty
Speaker 3: fourth and the ninety second street, Why the twenty fifth?
Speaker 1: Then Boston. Oh, who's interviewing you at the y Tinks? Oh? Fun,
Speaker 1: Tinks is interviewing me?
Speaker 3: Yes, and then I'm going to Boston, Cincinnati, Seattle, La.
Speaker 3: So go to Chelsea Hamler dot com if you want
Speaker 3: to come see me on my book tour where I'll
Speaker 3: be giving talks and be in stores.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, great, all right, We'll have fun and big
Speaker 1: kiss and thanks Chelsea.
Speaker 2: Love you, Katie.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening everyone. If you have a question for me,
Speaker 1: a subject you want us to cover, or you want
Speaker 1: to share your thoughts about how you navigate this crazy world,
Speaker 1: reach out send me a DM on Instagram. I would
Speaker 1: love to hear from you. Next Question is a production
Speaker 1: of iHeartMedia and Katie Kuric Media. The executive producers are Me,
Speaker 1: Katie Kuric, and Courtney Ltz. Our supervising producer is Ryan Martz,
Speaker 1: and our producers are Adriana Fazzio and Meredith Barnes. Julian
Speaker 1: Weller composed our theme music. For more information about today's episode,
Speaker 1: or to sign up for my newsletter, wake Up Call,
Speaker 1: go to the description in the podcast app. Visit us
Speaker 1: at Katiecuric dot com. You can also find me on
Speaker 1: Instagram and all my social media channels. For more podcasts
Speaker 1: from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to your favorite shows,