WEBVTT - Positively Gam: Fix My Life w/ Iyanla Vanzant 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:01.880 You know, and I don't want to be in this 0:00:02.080 --> 0:00:06.320 constant state of trauma and upsets. Let me say, first 0:00:06.320 --> 0:00:08.280 of all, I heard you say I don't want to, 0:00:08.800 --> 0:00:11.880 but I want to offer you that instead of affirming 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:16.040 because you're afaming, you're you're important, You've got power, instead 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:19.280 of affirming what you don't want, just make another choice. 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:23.919 So I'm choosing too. I'm no longer choosing to be reactive. 0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:32.000 I'm choosing this because choice is your power. What's up, everybody? 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:36.000 I'm Gammy and this is positively gam Every week I 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:40.360 have raw, in depth conversation with inspirational people pushing for 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:46.680 change on everything from aging, relationships, politics, wellness, to the 0:00:46.760 --> 0:00:50.560 current issues facing the black community. In this episode, we're 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:53.120 going to be discussing how to cope as a society 0:00:53.240 --> 0:00:58.080 saturated with trauma. Joining us today is yan La van 0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:02.800 zand Iyanla is more the most celebrated writers and speakers, 0:01:02.880 --> 0:01:07.520 and she's among the most influential and acclaimed spiritual life coaches. 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:12.520 Yanna embodies a no nonsense approach in her message. Currently, 0:01:12.680 --> 0:01:16.160 Illana is the host and executive producer of the award 0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:20.800 winning breakout hit Illanla Fix My Life. The number one 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:25.039 reality show on own. Thank you so much, Illanna for 0:01:25.120 --> 0:01:28.640 joining us. I feel so blessed today and I actually 0:01:28.640 --> 0:01:32.240 am feeling the need to talk to you today. Congrats 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:35.759 on your new podcast, Everything's Podcast Now. So good for you, 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:38.959 I know, thank you so much, Thank you so much. 0:01:39.000 --> 0:01:42.160 I'm enjoying it. But how has it been for you 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:46.640 fixing other people's lives? You know, I don't. Everybody says 0:01:46.720 --> 0:01:49.520 that I don't. I don't really fix their lives. I 0:01:49.640 --> 0:01:52.080 give them the information that they need to fix their 0:01:52.120 --> 0:01:54.920 own line. You know, people come with their story and 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:58.200 with their beliefs and with their everything, and you know, 0:01:58.320 --> 0:02:02.160 I go into interrupt the patterns that they have and 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:05.440 provide them with a different perspective on not only what 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:08.200 the problem is, but what they need to do or 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:10.400 not to get to where they want to be. So 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:14.560 it's been quite a journey's eight years, it has been. 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:18.080 And I'm a huge fan. I'm I watched you know 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:21.720 all the time, and I must say that you really 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:27.440 find some really creative ways to get people to really 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:30.679 look at themselves and to look honestly at what's going 0:02:30.800 --> 0:02:34.079 on because and and that's how it work, well, that's 0:02:34.120 --> 0:02:36.640 how it work because most times we're in such denial 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:39.760 we don't want to see ourselves, you know, and particularly 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:43.120 for people of color, we don't want to move into 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:46.080 anything with the consciousness that there's something wrong with me, 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:50.400 you know. So when we when you start telling people 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:53.960 that there's another way, what they hear is you did 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:57.840 it wrong. And for people who have been oppressed or 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:01.880 denied or help back for so long, that's a hard thing. 0:03:01.960 --> 0:03:06.880 But it is also a common human challenge that just reflection, 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:11.320 self reflection. It's hard, you know, But I think my team. 0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:13.960 I have an incredible team of producers that support me 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:16.720 and coming up with what we call our long pad 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:19.679 and our exercenses, and then I just go in and 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:22.560 do the work. That's the easy part. Oh, that's the 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:35.080 easy part. No, that's the hard part. Actually. I was 0:03:35.120 --> 0:03:38.480 thinking earlier and I had this conversation with Will and 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:44.000 with Jada constantly about compassion, and I was like, why 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:48.800 am I charged this year and all within all with 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:51.920 everything that's going on with trying to live my life 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:55.880 from a more compassionate space, and it's just been so 0:03:56.120 --> 0:03:59.800 very challenging for me. It's just been really difficult and 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:03.920 adoring this everything, with everything that's going on. If this 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:07.480 year has been so traumatic for so many reasons. We 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:11.560 have the pandemic, we have the Black Lives Matter protests, 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:15.200 we have all the police brutality that actually has been 0:04:15.200 --> 0:04:18.320 going on for years and years now, we have the 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:22.479 writers and the storming of the capital, Like, how do 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:27.440 let's start with how do you personally deal with the 0:04:27.560 --> 0:04:30.160 state of affairs in this country and not lose your 0:04:30.160 --> 0:04:35.080 mind because I'm I get so full of anger and frustration. 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:40.200 God is so for me. God is sovereign, God is 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:43.520 in charge, God knows, God is moving, God is shifting, 0:04:43.560 --> 0:04:47.039 God is changing. And so I don't have a story 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:50.880 about anything that's going on because I know that everything 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:55.240 is exactly as it needs to be in order for 0:04:55.360 --> 0:05:00.520 what is required to unfold. So I no, I haven't 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:04.200 had no trauma. I haven't had no upset. You know, 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:06.920 every now and then the thing that makes me crazier 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:09.960 than anything else that they repeat the same thing over 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:12.400 and over, give me some new information. So you know, 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:16.400 I just don't watch it, but I think that everything 0:05:16.520 --> 0:05:19.839 and you know, I look at this, We're looking out 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:25.280 and I'm looking in and I'm saying, okay, I do that. 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:31.159 How do I lie, change my story, bullying myself, deny, 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:33.560 How do I do that? And once I get it 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:35.880 clear in me, when I see it out there, I 0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:38.520 know what it is. It doesn't bother me. We are 0:05:38.600 --> 0:05:42.320 looking at ourselves. But because as we said earlier, it's 0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:45.640 so hard for people to reflect and self reflect, we're 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:48.440 making it about what's going on out there? What are 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:52.200 you doing in here? Turn the spotlight in instead of 0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:56.200 making it a spotlight that goes out Everything that we're 0:05:56.320 --> 0:06:02.240 seeing is what we as a human race do. This 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:05.400 is the truth being revealed. Oh I'm so excited. I'm 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:10.600 excited personally. I know that's a little strange. Whether it's 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:14.520 very no not, I understand. I understand what you're saying. 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:18.360 It's just you know, in the moment, it's just it's 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:22.440 just typically difficult for me to go into that space. 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:25.920 If in the minute you think it's happening out there, 0:06:27.000 --> 0:06:31.400 it's happened. You'll get upset about the minute you think, oh, 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:34.239 look what they're doing, Look what they're saying, as opposed 0:06:34.279 --> 0:06:39.040 to how do I do that? Have I done that? Okay? 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:41.560 And then when I get it in here, when I 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:43.040 see it out there, I said, oh, I know what 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:46.120 that is. I know what that is. Okay, I know 0:06:46.160 --> 0:06:49.160 what you're doing. I don't need the news or anybody 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:51.279 to tell me the truth because I know the truth 0:06:51.360 --> 0:06:53.440 in me. So when I see it out there, I 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:58.400 just say, thank God, I'm better now. I'm better now, 0:06:59.080 --> 0:07:02.200 you know. So, Yeah, compassion is the thing. I have 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:07.719 compassion for us right now because we've prolonged and denied 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:11.440 and we assisted for so long to the universe has 0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:15.000 now just dumped it all in our lap at one time. 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:19.360 But that's because we didn't take the clues along the way. 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:24.600 We know that racism exists. We know that white superiority 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:28.560 is the foundation upon which this this country was built. 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:32.880 We know that people have, in order to maintain their position, 0:07:32.920 --> 0:07:36.520 will deny other We know it, and then we've accommodated, 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:40.280 we've tolerated it. We've gone along with it, and the universe, 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:44.800 you know, God is saying enough until we surrender, and 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:49.280 surrender is coming. We're not. Yes, that is a good word. 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:53.200 I'm familiar with that word as a recovering addict. I'm 0:07:53.200 --> 0:07:59.000 familiar with that word surrender. So it's surrendering to to 0:07:59.160 --> 0:08:03.640 what has happened, so that change can occur. Is that 0:08:03.880 --> 0:08:06.720 a good way of looking at it? And you know 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:10.800 what else? Get me? All change is preceded by chaos. 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:13.520 Think about when you want to clean your closet out. 0:08:14.040 --> 0:08:17.240 In order to do your closet, you gotta take everything out, 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:20.160 and the bed, the floor, the shoot, you find the 0:08:20.200 --> 0:08:23.320 two things that you bought that you never bore. Everything 0:08:23.440 --> 0:08:26.280 is all over. So it's chaos and you have to 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:30.680 sort through the chaos in order to recreate order. And 0:08:30.680 --> 0:08:33.160 that's what's going on. Like that is such a good 0:08:33.200 --> 0:08:35.960 way to put it. Let me ask you, though, what 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:40.719 are some techniques that we can use in order to 0:08:40.760 --> 0:08:44.800 confront you know these? For me, it's still I still 0:08:44.840 --> 0:08:47.880 call it trauma, so that we're not keeping it all 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:53.800 bottled up inside or have this emotional outbreaks. And I'm 0:08:53.840 --> 0:08:56.400 going to use my husband and I as an example. 0:08:57.120 --> 0:09:02.080 We have a ethnics are very different way of looking 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:07.680 at the pandemic and how we are managing it in 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:14.520 right now and it is it continues to be an 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:20.880 area of contention for us. So for me, I've surrendered 0:09:20.920 --> 0:09:27.199 to and respect how he feels about the pandemic and 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:30.839 how he wants to move about. And I asked him 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:35.120 to do the same for me, and this morning, the 0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:39.280 conversation just went left, like my, my, I don't even 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:43.240 really want to talk about it, you know what I mean? Yeah, 0:09:43.280 --> 0:09:47.160 about the pandemic. I don't feel the need to converse 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:49.440 about it, like how many people are dying, Like the 0:09:49.520 --> 0:09:53.160 numbers are really high here in California right now, and 0:09:53.200 --> 0:09:55.720 I don't feel the need to discuss that because I 0:09:55.800 --> 0:10:03.920 know that compared to even him, we as a family 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:07.520 out here are so in tune to it because we 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:12.960 have to get tested constantly because we're all working, and 0:10:13.040 --> 0:10:17.120 so we're constantly being tested. Like I'm on a first 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:21.160 name basis with the E. M. T That comes to 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:24.720 do our testing. I see him like two and three 0:10:24.760 --> 0:10:32.160 times a week. We're friends, you know. But yeah, So 0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:35.840 I don't know, how do you have conversation with people 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:39.440 and not just get all out of whack when you're 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:42.440 talking about any of this. I find myself to be 0:10:42.520 --> 0:10:47.200 on social media constantly. I'm on Facebook when things like 0:10:47.240 --> 0:10:49.800 when the riots are I got something to say about everything, 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:55.400 and I'm on Facebook and then after I'm done, I'm like, girl, 0:10:56.080 --> 0:10:58.800 then do you feel better now that you because I'm 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:02.520 I'm going on their thinking that I'm releasing my frustration, 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:06.520 but I don't feel that way. After it's all said 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:10.760 and done, I really actually feel even more amped up. 0:11:12.400 --> 0:11:15.440 So then I'm like, maybe I just need to not 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:18.920 be on social media, maybe I don't need to be 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:24.040 watching the news, But then I feel uninformed. It is 0:11:24.360 --> 0:11:32.079 traumatic because it's such a abrupt and radical change to 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:39.319 our habitual problem solving techniques. None of our problems solving techniques, 0:11:39.480 --> 0:11:44.960 Corona don't respect none of them. Okay, So it is 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:51.800 quite traumatic because one of the number one addictions of 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:56.920 human beings, all human beings, is controlled, and we have 0:11:57.200 --> 0:12:03.960 totally lost control. So to be informed is one thing, 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:08.760 but to want to know what to do then stirs 0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:13.720 up something else in us as human beings, which is survival. 0:12:14.920 --> 0:12:16.880 So I gotta know what to do to survive because 0:12:16.920 --> 0:12:20.959 I can't control this thing. So we go here to 0:12:21.000 --> 0:12:23.160 get some info, and there to get some info, and there, 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:26.040 and we're listening and this one and then somebody says something, 0:12:26.080 --> 0:12:31.280 and no, that's crazy, and you know, so as opposed 0:12:31.360 --> 0:12:34.000 to trying to make it again, trying to make it 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:39.440 outkay out there, you gotta get okay in here. When 0:12:39.440 --> 0:12:41.800 this thing first hit, I said that ain't got nothing 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:43.760 to do with me. I'm not having it. I'm not 0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:46.240 entertaining it, I'm not engaging it. But I got to 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:49.199 do Okay, I did not know toilet paper, and if 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:53.400 the toilet paper was pure, I was in a lot 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:58.760 of trouble because I had don't doilet paper, you know, 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:03.840 up so but I have to do so. Number one, 0:13:04.280 --> 0:13:07.920 I was just real clear that okay, this has to 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:12.280 be a lesson and universal lesson that we're all learning. 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:16.920 What is my lesson? For me, the lesson was for 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:20.840 the past I don't know, fifteen sixteen years. I probably 0:13:20.880 --> 0:13:27.040 haven't spent two consecutive weeks in my home. So when 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:30.280 they said stay home, I had to get adjusted to 0:13:31.880 --> 0:13:37.120 not being busy. Really just gets still, and that for 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:40.720 me was traumatic. You know, that was about that. So 0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:42.959 here I am. I'm home. I'm not out in the 0:13:43.000 --> 0:13:46.040 world not doing my work. Who did you? You know? 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:49.960 So for many of us that was the issue. So 0:13:50.040 --> 0:13:52.880 you have the not being in control. What do I 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:55.760 need to do to survive? And now my whole modus 0:13:55.800 --> 0:13:59.280 opera run die has been shifted, So that was challenging 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:02.080 and many of us had to be home with people 0:14:02.160 --> 0:14:06.160 that we love but don't like. So that was a 0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:09.720 whole another thing. So I think your question, when I'm 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:15.320 hearing you ask, is how do you communicate compassionately with 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:20.200 someone standing in a different way than you are? So 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:29.920 compassion really is about seeing the position or suffering of 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:36.520 another and taking action to alleviate the sun. Like you said, 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:39.160 you don't want to talk about it. Maybe somebody else does, 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:43.480 but that's because their lack of control and their fear 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:48.560 and their coping mechanism. Maybe talking about so how do 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:52.440 you have compassion? And I think I heard you say 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:54.520 it was your husband, so you can't tell him talk 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.960 to me about that? What's that about you? Okay, we're 0:14:58.000 --> 0:15:01.240 only gonna talk about this from six am to seven am, 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:04.360 from noon to twelve thirty, from four pm to four 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:07.120 five o'clock, and that's it. Other than that, I'm gonna 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:09.480 ask you not to talk about it to me, and 0:15:09.560 --> 0:15:13.200 if you do, I'm gonna leave the room. Can we 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:18.520 agree to that as opposed to he shouldn't be or 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:22.560 they shouldn't be, or why do they compassion see the 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:25.840 position or the suffering of another person and then take 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:30.360 action to alleviate the suffering without sacrificing yourself. You can 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:32.840 talk about it for half an hour. You don't even 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:35.640 have he's talking, you don't even have to respond. Your 0:15:35.720 --> 0:15:39.600 job is to listen, and then what is your internal 0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:43.400 dialogue while he's talking. You know, like a lot of times, 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:46.160 you know, people talk to me about everything in the supermarket, 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:49.000 in the wal market, and in my brain, I'm in 0:15:49.040 --> 0:15:52.360 my mind, I'm saying, I don't have nothing to do it. 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:55.760 It's not I am not on this committee. I am 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:57.640 not on the heel of your mother committee. This is 0:15:57.680 --> 0:15:59.480 what I'm saying in my brain. But I'm looking at 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.920 her because she needed to talk. And when she was finished, 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:06.560 I said, you should go online and get on my 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:09.480 mailing list because my newsletter might be helpful to you. 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:22.320 But got it. So that's what compassion is about, putting 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:26.560 seeing where the other person is, seeing sense and feeling 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:29.040 where the other person is and whether they're in a 0:16:29.120 --> 0:16:32.040 form of suffering or a form of fear or anger 0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:35.240 or whatever, and then doing what is required, what you 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:39.120 can do without sacrificing your steps self to put an 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:42.760 end to there, whatever it is they're going, because we 0:16:42.760 --> 0:16:46.440 we are traumatized. Yeah, and I guess I I really 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:50.040 have to open my mind and be mindful while we're 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:54.240 having the conversation, because he senses from me that my 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:57.440 attitude is, oh, here we go again, and that is 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:11.119 not compassionate, that's not compare and it's not helpful. I 0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:16.879 remember the day when George Floyd was murdered and everybody 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:20.000 was in such uproar, and I said, thank you God 0:17:20.680 --> 0:17:25.320 for that angel named George Floyd who came to remind 0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:29.600 us yet again that we have to deal with this 0:17:29.920 --> 0:17:34.440 racism and we have to deal with these abuse. So 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:41.800 now they're finding court offices, firemen, retired police, retired military, 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:45.600 all involved in this assault on the White House. So 0:17:45.640 --> 0:17:49.200 if they would go against a building because they didn't 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:51.679 like what was going on in the building, what do 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:53.880 you think they're going to do the people that they 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:58.080 don't like, you know? And so I I my heart 0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:01.400 goes out to the Floyd family and the Martin family 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:05.560 and the all of the families. But I've just seen 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:08.760 all of these people as angels who've come and made 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:14.159 a masterful, mighty sacrifice to wake us up. And we 0:18:14.200 --> 0:18:19.720 still ain't woke up because you know, we marched and 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:22.879 screamed and protested, which we needed to do for what 0:18:23.200 --> 0:18:26.680 three four months? You don't even hear George Floyd's name. 0:18:27.800 --> 0:18:31.840 So what are we gonna do? Everybody is talking about 0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:37.000 the fact that those protesters or rioters or insurrectionists or 0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:40.400 whatever they're being called today, we're able to roll up 0:18:40.440 --> 0:18:43.560 in the capital, thousands of them in the street, and 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:46.320 people will say out loud when you know, couldn't have 0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:49.160 been black people, And we'll say it. But what we're 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:53.000 gonna do? What's our ask? What's our approach? What are 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:55.320 we gonna do? What are we gonna do? We're just 0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:57.400 sitting here, one thing up our nose and the other 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:00.520 one twiddling in our hair. But what we're gonna do? 0:19:00.720 --> 0:19:05.720 And until we get clear about what we're asking and 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:09.200 what we're willing to do to get it, it's gonna 0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:13.240 keep happening. Thank you? Can you please say that again, Inyana, 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:17.520 because I I feel so so strongly about it, and 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:23.359 I'm just not I still am not clear on exactly 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:28.240 that what is our ask? And how are we going 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:33.800 to hold this administration accountable or whoever we think needs 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:37.200 to be held accountable? How are we going to do that? At? 0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:40.439 What is our act? That's the first thing, because until 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:45.639 we're clear about the ask, we don't know who to approach. 0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:49.000 We don't have to approach. And you know, I've said 0:19:49.000 --> 0:19:51.520 this for years, everybody, please forgive me. Don't send me 0:19:51.560 --> 0:19:55.080 no emails and and send me dirty letters. I've said 0:19:55.119 --> 0:19:59.520 this for you. I've said it too, and all my 0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:04.800 friends and all my community leaders for years we've been 0:20:04.840 --> 0:20:08.840 affirming no justice, no peace. And I'm like, wait a minute, 0:20:08.840 --> 0:20:11.879 hold up, that's not what we want to say. We 0:20:11.920 --> 0:20:15.400 don't want to say no justice, no peace. We want 0:20:15.400 --> 0:20:20.600 to say justice now, peace now. But we the very 0:20:20.640 --> 0:20:23.320 thing we've been saying is exactly what we have, no 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:28.440 what we're getting, and no justice for And I'm like, oh, 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:31.080 we can't. But you know, we get into these slogans 0:20:31.119 --> 0:20:33.040 and we get into the thing, and that's what we 0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:35.160 want to do. No, no, no, no no. So we've 0:20:35.240 --> 0:20:38.600 got to get clear about the ask. If we're asking 0:20:38.680 --> 0:20:42.240 for justice, what does that look like? And the other 0:20:42.320 --> 0:20:44.800 thing is, you know, I know you I'm a child 0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:48.200 of the fifties and the sixties. I'm a panther and 0:20:48.240 --> 0:20:51.400 you know, snick and the at all of this, and 0:20:51.560 --> 0:20:55.399 we had leaders, and so everybody's looking for a leader. 0:20:56.160 --> 0:21:01.359 But the piece that I find was then that I 0:21:01.400 --> 0:21:05.000 can't quite put my finger on now. Back then, there 0:21:05.080 --> 0:21:10.199 was a communal commitment to whatever it was, whether it 0:21:10.320 --> 0:21:15.359 was the free breakfast program or whatever, voting rights or 0:21:16.040 --> 0:21:20.000 early lem of education, there was a communal commitment. But 0:21:20.119 --> 0:21:24.119 now we are so busy, you know, with everything else, 0:21:24.320 --> 0:21:27.960 and we get all into personalities. So I don't like 0:21:28.000 --> 0:21:29.720 this when you can't trust that, when you can't do this, 0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:32.520 you can't do that, and this cancel culture where we 0:21:32.560 --> 0:21:37.359 don't tolerate mistakes and we don't tear people down. So 0:21:37.640 --> 0:21:40.760 there's no focal point. I don't even want to say leadership, 0:21:40.960 --> 0:21:43.800 but there's no focal point. And then the people that 0:21:43.840 --> 0:21:47.439 we have elected, you know, they don't seem to be 0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:50.520 coming out to ask us. So anyway, that's my little soapbox. 0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:54.359 But what do we ask? No? But it's important, Yeah, 0:21:54.440 --> 0:21:56.840 it's important, Like how do we get that? How do 0:21:56.960 --> 0:22:01.240 we get back into that space? Is there? I don't 0:22:01.240 --> 0:22:04.119 want to say committee, but who are the leaders that 0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:09.480 we gathered together together to get us focused? Here's from me, 0:22:09.640 --> 0:22:13.240 Gammy again. You know, I come up out of that 0:22:13.520 --> 0:22:22.639 community spirit. So we've become such individuals and seeking such 0:22:22.760 --> 0:22:28.359 individual fame and glory and advancement and notice and recognition, 0:22:29.240 --> 0:22:34.040 until the things that would support and matter to us 0:22:34.119 --> 0:22:40.720 all can't seem to come together. And we're so eager 0:22:41.000 --> 0:22:46.240 to be against something that we have lost the to 0:22:46.440 --> 0:22:51.400 know how to be for something. Against this, Oh I'm 0:22:51.440 --> 0:22:54.200 against that, I'm against you, I'm against him, I'm against her. 0:22:54.320 --> 0:22:58.440 But what are we for? And where are those communications coming? 0:22:59.080 --> 0:23:05.320 Black radio it's gone. I remember Bob Law from years ago, 0:23:05.560 --> 0:23:08.720 night Talk and if you wanted to get some information 0:23:08.760 --> 0:23:11.320 about what was going on in our community, you went 0:23:11.359 --> 0:23:13.359 to Bob Law and night Talk and you get the 0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:16.680 whole Where where do we go now as a community 0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:21.600 to get information? And then because the small stations are gone, 0:23:21.720 --> 0:23:27.920 is these big conglomerations lest your Facebook? But there's no 0:23:28.080 --> 0:23:32.000 communal meeting place, there's no communal mind. Yes, there are 0:23:32.040 --> 0:23:37.800 small organizations, you know right now everything is or isn't 0:23:37.840 --> 0:23:40.320 Black lives matter. If you're not in Black Lives Matter, 0:23:40.320 --> 0:23:41.920 how do you find out what's going on? And then 0:23:41.920 --> 0:23:44.320 if you're in Black Lives Matter or you against this 0:23:44.480 --> 0:23:48.240 and now against that, it's it's crazy, but that's how 0:23:48.320 --> 0:23:52.560 things are changing. So my thinking and this is just 0:23:52.640 --> 0:23:54.320 my thinking. This don't have nothing to do with no 0:23:54.440 --> 0:23:59.119 behind My thinking is let me continue to work with 0:23:59.240 --> 0:24:03.719 individuals y and get individuals clear in their thinking and 0:24:03.720 --> 0:24:07.840 then there being and they'll be guided and directed into 0:24:07.880 --> 0:24:09.880 what to do and how to do it. So that's 0:24:09.920 --> 0:24:13.280 my contribution. Because if you told me today we're to go, 0:24:13.359 --> 0:24:18.720 I give to the Congressional Black Caucus, the United Egoral College, 0:24:18.760 --> 0:24:22.840 Run Black Lives, Stay June's Children Hospital. But nobody has 0:24:22.880 --> 0:24:26.680 ever called me to collectively have a discussion about anything. 0:24:28.240 --> 0:24:31.679 Never they get my money. They don't call me and 0:24:31.720 --> 0:24:34.440 ask me nothing. And I if I needed you can't 0:24:34.480 --> 0:24:37.280 call nobody. You go on the website contact us and 0:24:37.320 --> 0:24:41.879 they give you an email form. We don't talk. We 0:24:41.960 --> 0:24:45.800 don't talk, So where am I supposed to go? Where 0:24:45.800 --> 0:24:49.240 do we go? But things are changing and they're gonna 0:24:49.240 --> 0:24:52.800 be different, and we have to We're we're approaching the 0:24:52.960 --> 0:24:57.520 new time doing the old ways. And that's why so 0:24:57.560 --> 0:25:03.199 many of us are just lunch right yeah, And I 0:25:03.240 --> 0:25:06.639 guess you know, so that we can show up and 0:25:06.680 --> 0:25:11.959 be present and available for whatever our calling is. We 0:25:12.080 --> 0:25:16.960 have to learn how to stay calm and be mindful. 0:25:17.440 --> 0:25:21.280 And I know that you have a new app called 0:25:21.359 --> 0:25:25.240 mind matters meditation, tell them, tell us a little bit 0:25:25.240 --> 0:25:28.080 about that. What can we expect to hear on that 0:25:28.119 --> 0:25:30.480 app Well, you know, it really came out of the 0:25:30.640 --> 0:25:35.360 hysteria and the wahalla that everybody was experiencing during the 0:25:35.440 --> 0:25:39.479 day home Order. And I would say your home read meditate. 0:25:39.600 --> 0:25:43.640 I thought, I don't said, but it's your mind. Your 0:25:43.680 --> 0:25:46.600 mind is what you're gonna need to get through this. So, 0:25:46.920 --> 0:25:50.320 because I've been taped doing this for thirty something years, 0:25:50.359 --> 0:25:55.120 I just combed back through my files, my records, my everything, 0:25:55.680 --> 0:25:57.919 and just put pulled up what I thought was some 0:25:58.040 --> 0:26:02.879 of the twenty most powerful guided meditations that I've ever done. 0:26:03.320 --> 0:26:06.360 I have one on there that just says, do you 0:26:06.440 --> 0:26:12.800 know how beautiful you are? You know people were freaking out, 0:26:12.800 --> 0:26:15.560 couldn't get their nails done, their head done, you know, 0:26:15.800 --> 0:26:19.760 but you are beautiful. I have another one called you know, 0:26:19.880 --> 0:26:24.679 just peace, just how to be in peace. So, because 0:26:24.760 --> 0:26:30.040 my gift is my voice, people recognize my voice guide 0:26:30.160 --> 0:26:35.760 people into a deeper place within themselves because gave me 0:26:35.840 --> 0:26:38.960 We're not gonna do nothing out there. We gotta get 0:26:38.960 --> 0:26:42.760 it right in here. And if we're not right in here, 0:26:43.160 --> 0:26:45.439 whatever we do out there, is gonna continue to be 0:26:45.600 --> 0:26:52.560 chaotic and uh reactive and aggressive. Now we gotta go up. 0:26:52.680 --> 0:26:56.200 We gotta be the thing that we're trying to create. 0:26:56.280 --> 0:27:00.879