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Speaker 1: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

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Speaker 2: Say it again, Jesse.

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Speaker 3: It's not just the title of Brooks autobiography, that is right.

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Speaker 1: It's true.

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Speaker 3: If you make a woman feel rejected or unappreciated, she

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Speaker 3: will make sure that you come to regret it. And

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Speaker 3: that sentiment's even more intense if the woman happens to

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Speaker 3: be a bride. Oh, you do not mess with her

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Speaker 3: on her special day. And that's why one of our

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Speaker 3: listeners emailed us for help because she felt betrayed by

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Speaker 3: her friends on her big day and decided she was

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Speaker 3: gonna get even. Really, now they're saying she's gone too far,

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Speaker 3: And yes, now she's gone too far is chapter seven

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Speaker 3: of Brooks autobiography, but text in seven, eight, five, nine

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Speaker 3: two because we're gonna need listener input during a brand

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Speaker 3: new edition of am I the Jerk, And.

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Speaker 2: There's seven more chapters after I've Gone Too Far It.

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Speaker 1: Biography.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna hear what happened for this bride when we

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Speaker 3: do am I the Jerk Next, it's Brooks and Jeffrey

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Speaker 3: in the morning. And we all need someone in our

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Speaker 3: lives to keep us in check and call us out

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Speaker 3: when we're out of line when we're acting a fool God.

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Speaker 2: That's why celebrities turn out the way they do. They

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Speaker 2: don't have that person, have yes men.

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Speaker 3: Or when you're downward dog goes right side up in

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Speaker 3: yoga class, that could be embarrassing or impressive.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure which.

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Speaker 3: Well, it would help if someone would at least step

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Speaker 3: in and tell you politely.

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Speaker 1: Your downward dog is showing.

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Speaker 3: And that's what we're here to do today and help

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Speaker 3: one of our listeners for another edition of Am.

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Speaker 1: I the jerk?

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Speaker 2: It's a diry dog?

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Speaker 3: So that's where you tell us your situation, how you

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Speaker 3: handled it, and will tell you if you're in the

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Speaker 3: wrong or not, with some feedback from our listeners too.

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Speaker 3: At seven eighty five, nine to two. So let's meet

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Speaker 3: today's jerker or jerky.

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Speaker 2: No, it sounds like we're already passing judgment.

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Speaker 1: Your question is her name is Valerie?

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Speaker 4: Valerie.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 4: Hey everyone, how are you?

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Speaker 2: I think you say jerk question? How are you doing?

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Speaker 4: I'm I'm okay. I could actually be a lot better,

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Speaker 4: but okay, maybe i'all feel better after this call?

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Speaker 5: All right, have a predicament.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like you've been sitting with something.

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Speaker 4: Yes, this has been really consuming.

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Speaker 1: So what's going on. What happened in your life?

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Speaker 4: Well, the love of my life proposed to me a

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Speaker 4: while ago?

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Speaker 5: What, wow, congratulations?

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Speaker 1: Well hold on, did you say yes? What did you say?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 4: Yes?

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Speaker 1: Okay? This is actually usually guys.

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Speaker 2: She started the sentence with the love of my life proposed,

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Speaker 2: not like the life what's his name?

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Speaker 4: His name is Jake? Proposal was in and really when

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Speaker 4: it came to our wedding, I've always dreamed of like

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Speaker 4: this big romantic destination wedding. Oh okay, yeah, yeah, So

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Speaker 4: we found this gorgeous place in Tahiti. It's all right

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Speaker 4: on the water a day.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Tahiti looks so nice. Yeah, you nailed gorgeous with that.

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Speaker 3: That's pretty epic, exactly.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So I'm glad you all agree. This is great, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: as long as you.

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Speaker 2: Don't invite us, because I don't really want to spend

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Speaker 2: the money.

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Speaker 1: I'm down to waste all my money. Let's do this.

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Speaker 4: Well, there is a twist at one point. So we

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Speaker 4: started off with Tahiti. That was the plan. We invited

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Speaker 4: one hundred and twenty of our friends and faces.

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Speaker 2: Oh maybe, yeah, about the station weddings really small there are, Yeah, it's.

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Speaker 3: Not very affordable unless you have that many friends.

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Speaker 4: Yes, well, I mean we both have a lot of

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Speaker 4: family members, a lot of really important people in our lives,

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Speaker 4: so it was important tests that all these people are there.

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Speaker 4: And you're right, I was not expecting one hundred and

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Speaker 4: twenty people to say yes to a destination Well, she.

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Speaker 2: Was expected one hundred and twenty gifts.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, but here's the thing.

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Speaker 4: Only eleven people RSVP'd, four of which were our parents.

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Speaker 5: Yea, But our immediate reaction was that, right, like, we

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Speaker 5: don't see a lot of people going.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know does it I mean, do people

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Speaker 2: apologize or what was the kind of response you got.

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Speaker 4: The big response was just the like financial burden, but

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Speaker 4: also people were so unapologetic about it, which was so crappy.

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Speaker 4: And I just thought for sure that like people can

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Speaker 4: use this as an excuse to have a vacation. The

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Speaker 4: people do destination weddings and they don't warn you that

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Speaker 4: only three percent of people invited come.

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Speaker 3: Maybe the hotel in Tahiti that you chose wasn't quite

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Speaker 3: nice enough for people.

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Speaker 1: Saying this dumb.

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Speaker 4: I don't think there's anything no, And I was just like,

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Speaker 4: I was so heartbroken. I mean, I would do that

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Speaker 4: for my friends. I've been to the public for a

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Speaker 4: friend's wedding and it was inconvenient, but that's what you do, right.

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Speaker 2: So You're you're feeling really hurt by people you thought

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Speaker 2: were your closest friends and family telling you.

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Speaker 4: No, heartbroken, devastated. It's like eleven people, four of which

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Speaker 4: are my parents.

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Speaker 2: Like, at least they said yes, that would be really.

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Speaker 1: So what did you do?

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Speaker 4: Well? So I tried to be the most considerate person

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Speaker 4: ever and we decided to change the menu and do

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Speaker 4: it in Mexico.

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Speaker 2: Okay, whoa, that's more doable.

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Speaker 4: So much closer, so much cheaper, and like, I was

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Speaker 4: still pretty devastated because I had my heart set on Tahiti.

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Speaker 4: But whatever, we'll do Mexico. Like, these people are important

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Speaker 4: to me, and if that's the consensus, we'll change it.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I mean, that's a reasonable thing to do. There's

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Speaker 2: still blue water down.

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Speaker 4: There, I must, I guess, except nine people are SVP.

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Speaker 2: Wait even less wait less last.

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Speaker 4: Wait, you didn't ask your friends change And I'm just

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Speaker 4: so freaking pissed, And I'm like oh, this is what

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Speaker 4: people think of me and my future husband, like we

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Speaker 4: are not worth it to anyone.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm worried right now. Don't move it again because

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Speaker 1: you're not going to keep.

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Speaker 4: Getting less and less.

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Speaker 2: So that's the thing.

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Speaker 4: So we're not changing the wedding. It's a few weeks

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Speaker 4: out now, like that is happening.

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Speaker 3: So's people coming? Like why are you asking us if

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Speaker 3: you're the jerk?

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Speaker 4: The reason is a couple of my girlfriends have kind

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Speaker 4: of shared with me that I've done something that they

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Speaker 4: don't think I should have. Uh oh what Well, after

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Speaker 4: we switched to to Mexico and freaking nobody is coming,

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Speaker 4: I was like, okay, fine, I'm going to send out

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Speaker 4: an email to everyone on the guest list and it's basically,

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Speaker 4: if you're not coming, give me valid reason why, or

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Speaker 4: I'm removing you from my contact list, all of my

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Speaker 4: social media and you don't need to know anything about

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Speaker 4: my wedding or the rest of my life. If this

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Speaker 4: is how you feel, because I'm clearly not worth it.

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Speaker 1: Oh it's it.

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Speaker 2: Had you draco a bottle of wine before you said

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Speaker 2: that email?

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Speaker 4: No, I was clear minded, so sober, like it felt

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Speaker 4: right to do that, and I don't think I overstepped.

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Speaker 3: Well, let's ask our listeners. Is a good time text

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Speaker 3: into seven, eight, five, nine to two. Do you think

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Speaker 3: Valerie is being the jerk here by saying she's going

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Speaker 3: to excommunicate you from her entire life if you don't

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Speaker 3: have a valid reason for saying no to her wedding?

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Speaker 2: Oh man, I don't know Mexico.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, very beautiful, gorgeous Mexico wedding, which she's changed already

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Speaker 3: from Tahiti.

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Speaker 4: I truly don't think I'm being a jerk here because

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Speaker 4: I gave everyone two opportunities to say yes to me.

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Speaker 4: I bent over backwards to accommodate everyone, and they still

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Speaker 4: let me down. And so if you can just tell

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Speaker 4: me a valid reason in an email, like someone nine

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Speaker 4: months pregnant, I get it. Maybe that's hard to travel.

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Speaker 4: But if you can't give me a valid reason, why

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Speaker 4: am I a jerk for saying don't be in my life?

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be a don't have passports?

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Speaker 2: Maybe one hundred and twenty of them are pregnant.

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Speaker 5: Y pregnant without passports.

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Speaker 3: And if you do think that Valerie is a jerk

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Speaker 3: when you text in, you better have a valid reason.

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Speaker 1: For why she's a jerk, and we're not gonna let

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Speaker 1: you listen to our show anymore.

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Speaker 2: All right, yeah, is your grand section better?

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Speaker 1: Let's come back.

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Speaker 3: We'll tell them up and find out once and for

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Speaker 3: all if she's the jerk or not. Right after this,

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Speaker 3: we're in the middle of a segment, Am I the jerk,

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Speaker 3: and our text board is getting flooded. Right now, it's

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Speaker 3: seven eight, five, nine two with people weighing in on Valerie.

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Speaker 5: Guys are gonna break it.

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Speaker 1: Yell, that's good. I like engagement on our show.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, no, it's great.

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Speaker 3: But Valerie was set to get married in Tahiti to

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Speaker 3: her fiance, but out of the one hundred and twenty

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Speaker 3: invites they sent, only eleven were able to go to that,

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Speaker 3: which is why to be consider it, Valerie changed the

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Speaker 3: wedding venue to Mexico, someplace cheaper, closer, and now even

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Speaker 3: less people say they're going to be able to attend.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I can't believe it went to less.

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Speaker 2: That's the insult room.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of crazy, and that's why Valerie saw red.

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Speaker 3: So she sent out an email to everybody on her

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Speaker 3: inviteless saying you need to give me a valid reason

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Speaker 3: why you're not going, or you're excommunicated from my wife.

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Speaker 3: And that was the reason that Valerie emailed us, because

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Speaker 3: she was saying some of her friends and even her

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Speaker 3: mother in law were telling her she was going too

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Speaker 3: far with that email.

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Speaker 2: Oh, the mother in law will always tell you that.

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Speaker 2: Don't worry about her opinion.

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Speaker 3: All right, So who cares what your mom in law is?

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Speaker 3: But your friends were suggesting that you crossed the line, right, Valerie?

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Speaker 4: I had one friend I thought she was my friend,

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Speaker 4: but who was like, I don't know. You're being kind

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Speaker 4: of a bride villa about this and you're asking too

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Speaker 4: much from people.

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Speaker 1: The word's was it your young niece? I'm guessing based

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Speaker 1: on that voice four.

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Speaker 2: Years old, that was obviously a Kardashian jee.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Chloe's definitely not coming.

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Speaker 3: Yeah it Partney actually, So clearly Valerie does not think

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Speaker 3: that she crossed the line sending that email. She's reached

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Speaker 3: out to us though to find out is she the

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Speaker 3: jerk or not? Keep her text coming in seven eight,

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Speaker 3: five nine two jerk if you think she's in the wrong,

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Speaker 3: not a jerk. If you don't, we'll get a percentage

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Speaker 3: for you by the end of the many There are

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Speaker 3: a lot of texts we shouldn't read some of them.

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Speaker 1: Brooke, what do you have?

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Speaker 2: This one says she is not the jerk in all capitals. Oh,

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Speaker 2: it's understandable that everyone can come. But over ninety percent

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Speaker 2: of your friends bail on you after you tried to

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Speaker 2: accommodate them. Those are not friends. I'm sorry, thank you.

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Speaker 4: Okay, that person in my.

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Speaker 1: Life Okay, Yeah, you're not the jerk.

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Speaker 3: And again I want to be clear though, the jerk

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Speaker 3: no jerk thing isn't about showing up or not showing

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Speaker 3: up to the destination wedding. It's about the email that

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Speaker 3: Valerie sent saying that you're going to be out of

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Speaker 3: my entire life if you don't give me a good

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Speaker 3: reason why. So, there's a text here at seventy five

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Speaker 3: and two that says, if I received an email like

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Speaker 3: that from a friend, I delete them off of my

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Speaker 3: friend list before she deleted me talk about no class.

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Speaker 4: Okay, that person is clearly never gonna get married or

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Speaker 4: fan the wedding.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Kellory, don't sound like you're very open to the

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Speaker 2: idea of you being the jerk right now?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but that person is wrong, Like if they don't

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Speaker 4: have experience in this, they can't say any I.

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Speaker 3: Mean, Alexis, a lot of your friends are getting married

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Speaker 3: right now. You said it's been a little bit stressful.

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Speaker 3: If you got an email like that one, what would

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Speaker 3: your reaction be to it? Would you think jerk or

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Speaker 3: no jerk?

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Speaker 2: I'd probably be relieved to not happy? A friend anymore

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Speaker 2: have to go to that wedding. Yeah, not hers, I say, jerk.

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Speaker 1: Well, no jerk, because she's doing you a favor.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. How many people have replied to your demand for

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Speaker 2: an excuse?

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Speaker 4: Like three people? And the three people who had legit excuses?

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Speaker 5: Oh, like they actually had stuff.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, it's a lot of old people that you

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Speaker 3: send invites to and they can't figure out how to

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Speaker 3: respond to me.

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Speaker 2: It's like you got may or maybe her email was

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Speaker 2: already blocked from the whole Tai.

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Speaker 3: Street.

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Speaker 1: We got another text.

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Speaker 3: This one says man listening to this, I just feel

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Speaker 3: bad for her fiance. Oh, I bet he went into

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Speaker 3: this wanting a simple, no drama wedding and now he's

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Speaker 3: seeing what he really signed up for.

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Speaker 2: Yes, so Harge, that is Harge, What was your fiance like?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we haven't really talked about him.

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Speaker 4: There is drama, but not because of me. It's because

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Speaker 4: of our guests. He's upset that nobody cares about us.

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Speaker 2: I bet you feel that way. We got a text

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Speaker 2: in here that says, if I couldn't make it to

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Speaker 2: my friend's wedding, I would be apologizing and asking for forgiveness.

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Speaker 2: They can at least send an email.

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Speaker 4: Back you and again, if you really wanted to make

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Speaker 4: it there, you could find a way. You could be Like,

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Speaker 4: I'm struggling financially. What if me and my friends share

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Speaker 4: a room? What if we drive to somewhere and then

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Speaker 4: get a flight somewhere else, Like, there are ways to

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Speaker 4: make it work if.

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Speaker 5: I put myself in her shoes though, or the friend shoes.

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Speaker 5: This is what credit cards were invented.

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Speaker 2: For going into debt for your friend's wedding.

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Speaker 5: Well, look, I know in maybe a couple grand, but

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Speaker 5: at least you can make payments. You can schedule things out.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if it's all right to act, if it's

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Speaker 2: really important to somebody, I've crossed the border on foot,

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Speaker 2: they could just simply walk a very.

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Speaker 1: Long We're running out of time.

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Speaker 3: I feel like we need to get an official tally

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Speaker 3: on the percentage of people that think that Valerie is

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Speaker 3: a jerk versus not a jerk?

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Speaker 1: What is it your gay?

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Speaker 2: Right now, we're at fifty six percent of people say

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Speaker 2: not the jerk.

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Speaker 1: Not wow.

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Speaker 4: God, yeah, and I know this. I know that I

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Speaker 4: did overstep. And those friends who are saying I did,

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Speaker 4: like they're the jerk.

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Speaker 1: Well you know me.

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Speaker 5: You know what's going on here is you did a

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Speaker 5: jerky thing. All right, Like, I still like you. I

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Speaker 5: think you're a great person. But I think just the

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Speaker 5: email may have been aggressive, but it doesn't make you

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Speaker 5: add jerk.

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Speaker 2: Does that make sense?

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Speaker 1: Just texted jerk?

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Speaker 2: Actually the percent just changed.

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Speaker 1: It, Brook, What do you think jerk? No, jerk?

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think you should cut people out

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Speaker 2: of your life. I think that you need to do

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Speaker 2: a real hard look at your relationships.

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Speaker 4: Brook.

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Speaker 1: You can't take the middle ground. You have to say,

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Speaker 1: if she's a jerker.

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Speaker 2: You're kind of a jerk.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I'm sorry.

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Speaker 4: No, how can I be a jerk when I deserve?

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's the problem. Yeah, that word deserve always indicates

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Speaker 2: you're a jerk, just how.

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Speaker 3: It works, and you deserve to hear it Brook, What

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Speaker 3: revenge did you take on people who didn't show up

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Speaker 3: to your wedding?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think everybody came.

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Speaker 5: They did.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 3: I hope this gave you a little bit of closure,

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Speaker 3: and uh, you do have to feel pretty good about

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Speaker 3: the text.

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Speaker 1: Board majority says no jerk on it.

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Speaker 4: I guess I just can't get over the fact that

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Speaker 4: you're saying I don't deserve an explanation. If we've been

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Speaker 4: friends in my entire life and you're not coming to

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Speaker 4: my wedding, don't I deserve to know why?

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Speaker 3: I would say, in a way, not getting an explanation

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Speaker 3: is kind of an explanation.

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Speaker 2: That was really true.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, take this segment, send us them in an email to.

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Speaker 1: The past it out.

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Speaker 3: I love that you'll find it at Brooke and Jeffrey

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Speaker 3: River get your podcast.

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Speaker 1: That was am I the jerk. It's Brooke and Jeffrey

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Speaker 1: in the

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Speaker 2: Morning Brooking Jeffrey in the Morning.