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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. If you

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Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click Strawberry Letter click submit Strawberry Letter. We could

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Speaker 1: be reading your letter live on the air, just like

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Speaker 1: we're gonna read this one right here, right now, buggal

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Speaker 1: hold on tight. We got it for you. Here It

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Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter. Let me do a little disclaimer,

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Speaker 1: thank you nephew before this one. If you have small children,

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Speaker 1: I don't think you want them to hear this letter

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Speaker 1: in particular. All that's in here, okay, subject sexual sexual expectations.

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Speaker 1: It's this one part in here in particular, Steve. Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I'm a thirty three year old woman and

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Speaker 1: I've been in a relationship for a year with a

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Speaker 1: man that sends me mixed signals. We haven't had sex,

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Speaker 1: but he's an assistant pastor at church. I was a

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Speaker 1: very sexual person before I met him, and it's hard

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Speaker 1: for me to lie next to him without wanting to

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Speaker 1: rip his clothes off. He decided to compromise so that

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Speaker 1: I can get some kind of satisfaction. He allows me

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Speaker 1: to provide oral stimulation to him whenever I want. I

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Speaker 1: know that sounds crazy, but it has helped me at

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Speaker 1: the first cup. After the first couple of times, I

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Speaker 1: thought maybe he would return the favor to me. He

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Speaker 1: told me he doesn't do that. I asked him, what's

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Speaker 1: the difference in saving his soul if he's allowed to

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Speaker 1: ruin mine. He went into this whole long run about scripture,

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Speaker 1: and I still don't understand what part of the Bible

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Speaker 1: he was referring to. He loves for me to walk

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Speaker 1: around without clothes on so he can look at me.

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Speaker 1: I've never seen a man that is as strong willed

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Speaker 1: as him. He expects me to take showers with him,

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Speaker 1: and he spoons with me every night that we spend together.

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Speaker 1: I can't rest most nights because I want him so bad.

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Speaker 1: I think it's some kind of test and he wants

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Speaker 1: me to pass. But I had to come. I had

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Speaker 1: to come to Jesus meeting with him. It's past weekend

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Speaker 1: and now he's pulled away from me. I told him

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Speaker 1: I have sexual expectations, and he reiterated that he isn't

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Speaker 1: having sex before marriage, and our relationship is too new

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Speaker 1: to tell if we'll end up together. I told him

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Speaker 1: to let me know when he figures it out, and

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Speaker 1: until then, my mouth is off limits for his little friend.

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Speaker 1: He got upset and he's pulled away. Was I too

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Speaker 1: forward with how I said it? What if he's the

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Speaker 1: one for me and I messed it up? Please advise? Well,

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Speaker 1: there's a lot going on in this letter. First of all,

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Speaker 1: this is a very much one sided relationship with mister

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Speaker 1: assistant pastor, who's reaping all of the benefits that you're sewing.

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Speaker 1: What is it or why is it? I should say

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Speaker 1: that he doesn't mind that you give him pleasure, but

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Speaker 1: he doesn't reciprocate. He's selfish and he's trying to use

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Speaker 1: scripture to justify what he's doing, having you walk around,

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Speaker 1: you know, with no clothes on so he can look

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Speaker 1: at you. There's nothing in the Bible about this, you know,

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Speaker 1: the Word speaks who speaks to us about our bodies

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Speaker 1: being temples of the Holy Spirit, to keep it holy

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Speaker 1: and not to fornicate. Look it up for yourself. It's

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Speaker 1: in there. But what do you think is going to

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Speaker 1: happen if two grown people are in bed they're spooning

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Speaker 1: you guys are showering together. Like I said, you're walking

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Speaker 1: around naked in front of him. Okay, what do you

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Speaker 1: think it's going to happen? Everything, one thing is going

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Speaker 1: to lead to another, and of course that means sex,

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Speaker 1: some kind of sex is going to be going on.

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Speaker 1: Who's that strong for a whole year you mentioned he's

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Speaker 1: strong willed. Nope, I just think he's again selfish and

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Speaker 1: he's a sinner, just like the rest of us. Why

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Speaker 1: what is he doing here with you? He's being a hypocrite,

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Speaker 1: He is sending mixed messages. I don't think he's a

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Speaker 1: man for you. I really don't. I think he's leading

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Speaker 1: you down a path that you don't even need to

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Speaker 1: be going down with all of this, keep it real.

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you told him about himself. And please don't

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Speaker 1: worry about you messing it up. He's already done that.

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Speaker 1: I think he's already done that in this relationship, and

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Speaker 1: that's why you had to tell him. If you walk away,

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Speaker 1: good for you, Steve. Wow. Wow, I just celebrated my

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Speaker 1: sixty fourth birthday and all, when I tell you, all,

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Speaker 1: all of my friends are men. I have associates, I

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Speaker 1: have acquaintances, and I have friends, all of them nearly

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Speaker 1: all of them are men. I know old schoolmen, I

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Speaker 1: know new schoolmen. I know wealthy men, I know working men.

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Speaker 1: I know really good men. I know dope dealers, I

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Speaker 1: know murderers. I know people that haven't done it at

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Speaker 1: all levels of everything I know. I know every type

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Speaker 1: of man. That is why I ain't ever met his

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Speaker 1: ass before. It's new to me. I just told you that.

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you I've never met this man before. Right here,

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Speaker 1: and let me help you understand something. You're a thirty

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Speaker 1: three year old woman. You've been a relationship with a

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Speaker 1: man for a year. That's sending me mixed signals. Y'all

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Speaker 1: ain't had sex because he's assistant passed at the church.

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Speaker 1: That would be normal. Ain't nothing wrong with that, That

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Speaker 1: would be cool. I'm staying, I got it. Ain't no problem.

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Speaker 1: I've heard of that before. I was a very sexual

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Speaker 1: person before I met him, and it's hard for me

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Speaker 1: to lie next to him without wanting to rip his

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Speaker 1: clothes off. I've heard of that before. He decided to

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Speaker 1: compromise so I can get some kind of satisfaction. Okay,

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Speaker 1: started to sound like people I know I've heard of this,

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Speaker 1: all right. He allows me to provide oral stimulation to

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Speaker 1: him whenever. I won't heard of that? Do you knock

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Speaker 1: yourself out? Get all you won't I've heard of that.

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Speaker 1: Here is the line that throws me. I know that

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Speaker 1: sounds crazy, but it has helped me. I showed wish

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Speaker 1: everybody felt that way. What did you say? I know

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Speaker 1: this sounds it has helped me. I don't wish to

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Speaker 1: God everybody that way. Hold that. We'll have part two

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Speaker 1: of Steve's response coming up at twenty three minutes after

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Speaker 1: the hour. The subjects sexual expectations will get back into

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Speaker 1: it right after this. You're listening to all right, Come on, Steve,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's Strawberry Letters. Subject sexual expectations. Thirty three

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Speaker 1: year old woman is dating this man that I've never

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Speaker 1: heard of before. Well, he's a pastor system pastor. And

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Speaker 1: before she started dating this man, she said, she's a

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Speaker 1: very sexual person, right, and it was hard hard for

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Speaker 1: me to lie next to him without wanting to rip

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Speaker 1: his clothes off. So he let's start looking at this person.

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Speaker 1: He decided to compromise so I can get some type

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Speaker 1: of satisfaction. He allows me to provide oral stimulation to

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Speaker 1: him whenever I won't. I have heard of this man

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Speaker 1: right here? What what again? Already? Steve? Today, girl, I

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Speaker 1: just listen to you showed it. I know that sounds crazy,

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Speaker 1: but it has helped me. My comments here was show

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Speaker 1: wish everybody I felt that way. Lady. If that ain't

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Speaker 1: a gratitude moment, you have it that I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but anyway, listen to move on. It has helped me. Now,

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Speaker 1: after the first couple of times here where we go,

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Speaker 1: I thought maybe he would return the favor to me.

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Speaker 1: You know, he told me he don't do that. So

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Speaker 1: what did you saying? You like popsicles? I don't like cookies. See,

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Speaker 1: you know, I guess everybody got a thing. So he

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Speaker 1: told me he don't do that. You like popsicles? That's

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Speaker 1: her thing. She liked popsicles. He don't like cookies. Okay,

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Speaker 1: see not not. This is where you starting to I'm

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Speaker 1: starting not to not to notice man right here. Okay,

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Speaker 1: she liked popsicles. You don't mind her, But you don't

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Speaker 1: like cookies. Boy, what is the purpose of living as

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Speaker 1: a man if you if you don't like cookers? Why

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Speaker 1: is you here? Now before anybody email me or text me,

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about hetero sexual men. I'm talking about hetero

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Speaker 1: sexual man. I ain't making a judgment call or nothing else.

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Speaker 1: Do you? Heterosexual men? We have the thought that if

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Speaker 1: it was not for cooking, we would have no reason

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Speaker 1: to live. That's how we think. Certainly, I can just

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Speaker 1: cash in if you tell me, ain't you done? Certainly? Surely, yes,

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Speaker 1: you can't have no more sex? What is I'm going

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Speaker 1: to work for? What does I'm buying the diamond range? Folk?

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Speaker 1: What does I'm buying all these trips and these vacations,

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Speaker 1: all this high as stuff. I'm out here trying to

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Speaker 1: make a living for all these kids and stuff that

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Speaker 1: you want to give a life, Doe, I wouldn't give

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Speaker 1: a damn for nothing. I'm just talking about hetero sexual men.

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Speaker 1: Please don't abody get himself me. I asked him, what's

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Speaker 1: the difference in saving his soul if he allowed me

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Speaker 1: to ruin mind? He went into this whole long rant

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Speaker 1: about scripture. And I still understand what Bible he was

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Speaker 1: referring to, because it ain't in the Bible. See, he

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Speaker 1: went on the scripture rent and didn't tie to not

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Speaker 1: now scripture, because guess what what you're doing to him,

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Speaker 1: and what he's allowing you do to him and asking

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Speaker 1: of you to do for him. It's not in there

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Speaker 1: that makes it allowable. It's just not in there. He

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Speaker 1: loves for me to walk around with our clothes on

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Speaker 1: so he can look at me. What who is this dude?

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Speaker 1: Let me explain something to you. You got one time

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Speaker 1: to pass by her naked. Now I might not have

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Speaker 1: been watching TV and I didn't catch you. You went

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Speaker 1: by too quick. But walk back by here again and

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Speaker 1: see what happened. You can't make two trips past me naked,

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Speaker 1: but he won't you too. Okay, I've never seen a

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Speaker 1: man that this is strong will as him? What, lady,

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Speaker 1: you want to keep listen to me? Strong wheel? How

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Speaker 1: he getting everything he needs? Right? He? This isn't required?

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Speaker 1: No more will he getting satisfied? You ain't? What's the

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Speaker 1: wheel power in that? Quit giving this dude credit for stuff.

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Speaker 1: He don't get credit for what he getting what he needs.

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Speaker 1: It just ain't how you want it, but it's fine

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Speaker 1: with him. It suffices for him. Stop giving him credit.

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Speaker 1: He expects me to take showers with him, and he

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Speaker 1: spoons with me. Every night when we spend together. What

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Speaker 1: church is this? What scripture? What pastor the hell is

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Speaker 1: going on him? Man? I can't rest most nights because

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Speaker 1: I want him so bad. I think it's some kind

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Speaker 1: of tests and he wants me to pass. But I

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Speaker 1: had to come to Jesus with him, with him this

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Speaker 1: past weekend, and now he didn't pull away from me.

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Speaker 1: I told him I have sexual expectations. He reiterated that

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Speaker 1: he isn't having sex before marriage. He's not having intercourse

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Speaker 1: before marriage. He having sex. I don't know what verse

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Speaker 1: Daddy is in the Bible, but I showed could use

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Speaker 1: that loophole at times that hours poor. I told him

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Speaker 1: to let me know when he figures it out. Until then,

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Speaker 1: my mouth is off limits to his little friend. He

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Speaker 1: got upset and he's pulled away. Let him pull away.

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Speaker 1: See here's your problem. Was I too far with how

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Speaker 1: I said it? What if he's the one for me?

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Speaker 1: And I messed it up? Reverse the question? What if

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Speaker 1: you're the one for him? See that's the part you're missing.

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Speaker 1: You got it in your mind that he's the one

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Speaker 1: for you. But I promise you he ain't got it

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Speaker 1: in his mind that you the one for him. You

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Speaker 1: did the right move. Stay away if he cared about

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Speaker 1: your here coming right, all right, thank you, Steve. Coming

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Speaker 1: up next Junior and Sports Talk at forty six minutes

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Speaker 1: after the hour. Right after this, you're listening Steve Harpy

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Speaker 1: Morning Show