WEBVTT - New Year's Eve 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:03.760 On the Bell Cast, the questions asked if movies have 0:00:03.840 --> 0:00:07.720 women in them, Are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands, 0:00:07.760 --> 0:00:12.160 or do they have in individualism the patriarchy? Zef invest 0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:16.640 start changing it with the beck Del cast. Oh man, yeah, 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:18.840 let's find it. Let's find a good line. There's so 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:22.280 many good lines. Wait, what about the one that Abigail 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:25.880 Breslin says to Sarah Jessica Parker when she's like, you're 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:29.920 just so moody and like possessive because you don't have 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:32.240 a man and you're me the man in your life. 0:00:34.360 --> 0:00:36.400 I like the one where you're just so want to 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:39.160 be a hipster who had is a heartbroken by the prompt? 0:00:39.240 --> 0:00:40.880 Oh wait, no, I know what My favorite line in 0:00:41.040 --> 0:00:42.800 my line, favorite line, and the exchange in the movie 0:00:42.880 --> 0:00:46.959 is okay, hopefully you remember the line store of talking 0:00:46.960 --> 0:00:51.680 about um So Caitlin, you're like a comic book artist? 0:00:51.800 --> 0:00:59.760 Do you like draw illustrate? Oh my god, I'm that 0:00:59.880 --> 0:01:03.959 was so aggressive. Welcome to the Bechel Cast. Well wait, wait, wait, 0:01:04.000 --> 0:01:07.119 which one was yours? Oh? My favorite line from the 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:11.120 film The Prestige film from two thousand eleven, directed by 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:15.320 Gary Marshall, New Year's Eve. My favorite line is let 0:01:15.440 --> 0:01:18.560 the best the JJ win And then everyone was like 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:24.919 ha ha ha oh this what a what a happy 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:28.759 almost new year everyone. Uh, this is the Bexel Cast. 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:32.840 I'm Jamie Loftus, I'm Caitlin Darante, and this is our 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:37.920 podcast about how movies fair when we look at them 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:44.320 through an intersectional feminist lens, and folks, We're gonna have 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:48.040 fun this week. I feel like we, uh, as as 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:52.120 as an extended podcast family, have earned it. You know, 0:01:52.280 --> 0:01:56.520 it's been the biggest ship pile of a year on record, 0:01:56.600 --> 0:02:00.880 and it was that was a pretty competitive mark truly, 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:05.160 So there's been some pretty shitty years in the history 0:02:05.160 --> 0:02:08.120 of the world. But you know what people were having 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:12.320 a lot of optimism for was two thousand and twelve. 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:17.720 Apparently there they made a whole movie about how excited 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:21.480 we were for two thousand and twelve. Yeah, why wouldn't 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:24.200 this movie have come out in like the end of nine, 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:30.000 when like we were actually talking about like this new millennium. 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:32.160 Why two k was a big thing? There was like 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:35.360 so much maybe like two thousand, two thousand twelve was 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:38.000 the year that some people thought the world would end 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:40.600 because of the like oh, I forgot about the mine 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:43.600 calendar thing. My theory was it was the entire movie 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:50.919 was funded by Obama's re election campaign. They're just like right, 0:02:51.880 --> 0:02:55.919 I think they would have made a far better movie 0:02:55.960 --> 0:03:00.720 if that were true. I don't know. That's up for 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:04.320 debate there. Uh, this movie has got off. Okay, so 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:08.160 we're this is the Bechtel cast um. If this is 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:11.000 your first episode, you know, maybe reconsiderate or or just 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:14.200 hang out and see it's we're loose. We're loose today. 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:17.160 But we're going to use the Bechtel test, I guess 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:21.280 theoretically as a jumping off point for discussion, that being 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:26.680 a media metric test invented by queer cartoonist Alison Bechdel, 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:30.720 sometimes called the Bechtel Wallace test. There requires that, for 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:34.920 our purposes, two people of a marginalized gender with names 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:37.960 talk to each other about something other than a man 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:41.080 for more than two lines of dialogue. Doesn't seem like 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:44.560 it would be that hard. This movie really takes a 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:49.120 long time to get there, really long. It does get there, 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:55.240 and so it does, but it barely does anything. There's 0:03:55.280 --> 0:03:59.120 a whole scene in this movie where Sophia Vergara and 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:03.640 Katherine Aigel, are just throwing eggs across a room. A 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:09.560 feminist feminis n eggs symbolism. Okay, think about it. It's 0:04:10.520 --> 0:04:14.880 who we're talking about New Year's Eve, the movie that 0:04:14.960 --> 0:04:16.839 was supposed to get us all excited for two thousand 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:21.040 and twelve. Do you do you have a history with 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:23.159 this movie? Have you seen it before? I know I 0:04:23.200 --> 0:04:26.719 hadn't seen this before. Okay, I know I had seen 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:31.440 the previous uh person cast Gary Marshall movie. I have 0:04:31.520 --> 0:04:35.000 seen Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day, sure, Okay, I have not 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:37.200 seen that one either, Nor have I seen Mother's Day, 0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:40.560 which came out five years after this one, which is 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:44.400 the like it's like an unofficial trilogy, because they're all 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:49.240 Gary Marshall ensemble movies that are all bad. There's no 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:51.080 way we were just talking about this off, Mike. There's 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:54.880 no way Gary Marshall actually directed this entire movie. I 0:04:54.920 --> 0:04:59.160 feel like he hired ten assistant directors and paid them 0:04:59.240 --> 0:05:02.080 enough to not credit them appropriately, and then showed up 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:06.880 for one. The true story of this movie for me 0:05:07.080 --> 0:05:13.080 is in the forty five minute blooper reel at the end. Uh, 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:15.960 It's is pretty It's the most compelling part of the movie. 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:19.479 I think Jessica Bielle gives a birth to two copies 0:05:19.520 --> 0:05:23.640 of Valentine Stand DVD in the blue on Blu ray Hello, 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:26.880 because she's rich, which is which is why like her 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:32.000 whole storyline makes no sense. Oh my gosh, no, now 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:35.440 these storylines makes sense. I can't wait. This is like 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:39.080 if uh, and we we you know, early in the 0:05:39.080 --> 0:05:41.160 cast we covered four years ago. At this point we 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:45.280 covered Love Actually, And this is if I Love Actually, 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:49.560 Like I don't even know, Like, if Love Actually got 0:05:49.640 --> 0:05:52.000 hit in the head really hard with the basketball, uh, 0:05:52.279 --> 0:05:55.320 the movie would maybe be something like this. It's trying 0:05:55.360 --> 0:05:59.919 to do the same vignette thing, but yes, instead of 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:03.000 like would love Actually the vignettes makes sense, they're just 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:09.760 generally pretty sexist and racist and dated. For this, these 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:13.000 don't even make sense. That don't make sense at least, 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:16.320 I mean, go back and listen to our Love Actually episode. 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:19.560 We had plenty to say about it and like, it's 0:06:19.680 --> 0:06:24.040 very problematic in many ways, were not. At least Love Actually, though, 0:06:24.480 --> 0:06:30.960 has the ability to elicit like real emotion in audiences, 0:06:30.960 --> 0:06:33.760 Like people responded to that movie for a reason. I 0:06:33.800 --> 0:06:37.479 understand why people really liked it, like in a dated way, 0:06:37.520 --> 0:06:39.960 but like you're like, Okay, I I see, I see 0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:44.000 why people were into this at the time. No one 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:46.240 was into this at the time. I think we're the 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:49.360 first people that have watched it since it came out. 0:06:49.760 --> 0:06:52.800 It made Okay, it made a hundred and forty two 0:06:52.880 --> 0:06:57.240 million dollars at the box office. It was one I 0:06:57.320 --> 0:07:01.080 can't what else came out around that time that no 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:04.240 one everyone had to go see New Year's Eve. Because 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:07.360 that's actually a good question. My favorite fun fact about 0:07:07.400 --> 0:07:10.920 this movie is then it was nominated for five Razzie 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:13.520 Awards and lost all of them to Jack and Jill 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:20.000 uh Adam Sandler. Yes, um, so you know it wasn't 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:24.640 even the worst movie to come out in that year. Um. 0:07:24.680 --> 0:07:29.080 It also has a seven percent on Rotten Tomatoes. And 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:31.960 if you just like, if you look at the critical 0:07:32.000 --> 0:07:37.360 reception chunk on Wikipedia about this movie, it's very funny 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:41.080 because like the quotes that get pulled about this movie 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:44.680 are and like there's I mean, I'm just gonna read 0:07:44.960 --> 0:07:49.680 a couple. Okay. Roger Ebert, our favorite person, actually has 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:53.320 something that we would agree with, says New Year's Eve 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:56.640 is a dreary plod through the stands of time until 0:07:56.720 --> 0:08:00.560 finally the last grain has trickled through the glass of 0:08:00.600 --> 0:08:04.920 cinematic sludge. Shout up to sludge. How how is it 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:07.840 possible to assemble more than two dozen stars in a 0:08:07.920 --> 0:08:10.840 movie and find nothing interesting for any of them to do? 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:18.280 End quote Um Claudia Winkleman, not Claudia of BBC one. 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:20.840 I have found the worst film of all time and 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:24.440 it is called New Year's Eve period And then there's 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:27.200 a couple more, but you get the idea. This is 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:29.120 I mean, this is This is one of those things 0:08:29.160 --> 0:08:32.079 that it reminds me of the Lindsay Ellis did a 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:35.679 video on Cats and like the sorts of movies that 0:08:35.880 --> 0:08:39.839 critics come together to just really take a gigantic dump 0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:44.120 on as as a as a professional exercise. However, this 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:47.800 movie does deserve it. It's way more than Cats did 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:54.480 because Cats was good. Uh, this movie is is really bad. Um. 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.880 Oh another There's just so many This movie is just 0:08:56.920 --> 0:08:59.040 a list of moments. There's also scenes that seem like 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:02.200 they're interrupted by another scene and then the previous scene 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:04.559 just starts against Yes, I have I made a note 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:07.000 of a few of those. They keep cutting too A 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:10.040 montage that they just they should just let the montage 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:13.920 play out, but Zecca Fron is taking Michelle Peiffer around 0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:17.720 New York City ever heard of it to like check 0:09:17.760 --> 0:09:22.480 off her New Year's resolutions from the previous year, and 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.080 instead of again, instead of letting the whole montage play out, 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:28.600 they just keep like dispersing little little bits of it 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:31.440 throughout the movie, and it's like, this is so jarring 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:33.480 and weird. And then they cut back to a scene 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:37.480 that they had already, like the Katherine Heigel storyline, and 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:40.640 it's like, just let one of these moments breathe for 0:09:40.720 --> 0:09:43.800 five seconds cut away. It's that's yeah, that that was 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:45.679 the I thought the most agreed just went to where 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:48.079 they cut out of the middle of a scene of 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:51.720 Katherine Heigel and it's not John, it's not John bon Jovi. 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:59.760 It's John bon Jensen, Jensen, Bun Jensen Jensen. Uh, but 0:09:59.840 --> 0:10:01.600 they cut out of the middle of it. And then 0:10:01.880 --> 0:10:04.840 it's like the weirdest part of most of that like 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:08.360 thing that whole montage is that it's clear that it's 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:11.160 just zach Efron doing a d R over b roll 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:14.480 that they're not even there for there's like they cut 0:10:14.520 --> 0:10:17.160 to like just be roll of a water taxi and 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:21.319 then you hear Zack got Frond saying and go in 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:24.800 a taxi in New York with no traffic check, and 0:10:24.840 --> 0:10:30.800 you're like, so much of these scenes are a d 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:35.040 r um. It's I had I had fun. I will 0:10:35.080 --> 0:10:39.559 say I was so frustrated because I like, I feel 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:42.160 like I had to, like for a horrible movie, you 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:44.719 have to really pay close attention to what's like. It 0:10:44.840 --> 0:10:47.679 took me a really long time because I had to 0:10:47.760 --> 0:10:49.800 keep pausing and because things keep happening, and you're like, 0:10:49.880 --> 0:10:52.200 wait a second, there, wait a second, why did they 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:55.400 just take Hillary Swaying to the maternity ward was why 0:10:55.480 --> 0:10:57.719 is that happening there? Why is she in a room 0:10:57.720 --> 0:11:00.080 full of babies? And then it's over so fast and 0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:05.600 then you forget right away? How are you so normally? 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:08.400 I watched the movie twice. I think normally you watch 0:11:08.480 --> 0:11:11.280 whatever movie we'recovering once. We both had to watch it 0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:13.640 an extra time, so I watched it three times. You 0:11:13.679 --> 0:11:16.600 watched it twice just because I also knew I wasn't 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:18.559 going to retain it from the night to the morning, 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:22.160 which is sad, and that is the mark of a 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:25.640 really bad and really poorly written movie. Its like none 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.400 of it sticks with you, and it's so jarring, and 0:11:28.440 --> 0:11:31.240 it like just gives you so much whiplash that you 0:11:31.360 --> 0:11:35.920 cannot piece together any part of the narrative, Like it 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:40.160 just washes over you. It's so oh. Another one of 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:43.600 my favorite bad lines is at the end the Hilary 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:48.360 Swank ludicrous storyline, I'm like, what is gosh so weird? 0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:51.440 And then at the end ludicrous is fake family shows 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:54.959 up And I've never seen an actor make it more 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:57.160 clear that this is not his actual family because he 0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:00.840 because he like he walks towards these like these board children, 0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:06.000 right and he's like, hello, my little rugrats, Well you're 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:09.640 not their dad. Also, why is Ludacris a cop, like 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:12.560 an NYPD cop and not just like a he's like 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:15.840 a lieutenant or something. He's like really high up in 0:12:15.880 --> 0:12:20.240 the ranks. Well this is this is Through researching for 0:12:20.240 --> 0:12:23.880 this very important episode, I did find out that Ludacris 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:28.000 and Richard Pryor were cousins. Did you know WHOA? I 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:31.200 didn't know that he's cousins with Richard Pryor and Monica 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:34.800 the singer. Oh what a talented family. You know it 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:39.400 turns out it's a dynasty. Um, but I'd rather see 0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:45.000 that ensemble cast movie like about a comedian and two 0:12:45.080 --> 0:12:49.520 musicians all in like all sharing a bloodline that's more 0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:52.440 interesting than whatever drivel we get with New Year's Eve. 0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:57.920 Richard Pryor is not available, Yeah, but Ludacris was available 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:02.280 for this movie. He was so available. But even though 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:04.720 he could be removed from every scene and it would 0:13:04.760 --> 0:13:07.959 be no different, there was at one point truly like 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:11.280 there and and we'll get to the treatment of black 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:13.880 and brown characters in this movie because it is real 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:17.760 bad but just like the most poorly written you can imagine. 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:20.600 But there was a full like ten minutes that I 0:13:20.640 --> 0:13:24.559 was convinced. I was like, is Ludicrous actually a ghost 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:29.480 because he's just sort of like in these scenes with 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:34.040 Hilary Swank being like it's gonna be okay, and she 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:37.400 never asks him really anything about himself, And I'm like, 0:13:37.520 --> 0:13:41.280 is he like a ghost of New Year's past telling 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:45.240 her to go to Robert? Also Robert de Niro is 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:48.559 in this Oh, I will say, for a full disclosure, 0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:51.960 I went into this movie being like, there's gonna be 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:55.120 one storyline that I'm just not going to pay attention 0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:57.440 to at all because there are too many, and so 0:13:57.480 --> 0:14:00.640 I was like, one's gotta go, and I chose as 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:03.160 a character to pay attention during zero of their scenes. 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:06.800 I chose Josh de Mel. Oh I didn't pay attention 0:14:06.840 --> 0:14:09.320 to a single scene that Josh Deml was in. I 0:14:09.360 --> 0:14:12.320 know he ends up with Sarah Jessica Parker, but I 0:14:12.360 --> 0:14:14.400 wasn't paying attention to Josh de Mel. I don't want 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:16.240 to learn. I feel like I've gotten this far in 0:14:16.280 --> 0:14:20.440 life without learning who Josh Deml is, and I like, 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:23.680 I just don't really want to know who he is 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:28.640 Fergie's husband question mark. I think that's the main thing 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:31.400 you need to know about it. That's not to see that. 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:36.440 Wouldn't have expected that, Um, I didn't. I just was like, oh, 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.240 I recognized this guy, but I don't want to look 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:43.040 at him. Um. And so I ignored his storyline, but 0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:45.520 every all the other ones I paid very close attention. 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:51.040 I'll fill in the gaps the Josh Jamal what's his name? Josh, 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:52.920 I have no idea, I have no don't take my 0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:55.480 word for it. I literally fast forward it through his scenes. 0:14:56.080 --> 0:14:59.720 You not having paid attention to it, will not like 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:02.240 someone who did pay attention to it will have no 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:05.120 better understanding of what happens in his story than someone 0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:07.760 who did not pay attention at all. So you missed 0:15:07.760 --> 0:15:11.480 truly nothing. He's Tad Hamilton's and when a date with 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:15.120 Tad Hamilton's. Oh yeah, he's in at least one of 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:21.200 the Transformers movies and some other stuff. Who is this man? 0:15:21.560 --> 0:15:25.680 I'm just not interested? Um, I guess yeah, let's let's see. 0:15:25.920 --> 0:15:29.000 Let's see. Yeah. I don't know how to recap this 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:31.920 exact in the year on the most difficult recap of 0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:37.960 all time. Okay, I mean it's not unlike Cats in 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:41.160 that a bunch of characters just keep getting introduced and 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.680 introduced and introduced, and then there's no story, and then 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:48.840 there's a climax sort of and then it's the end. 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:52.560 So it's really similar structurally to Cats if you think 0:15:52.560 --> 0:15:56.840 about it anyway. You gotta hand it to New Year's Eve. 0:15:57.680 --> 0:16:00.560 So again, this is like an ensemblement movie in the 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.400 vein of love. Actually, it's trying very hard to be 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:08.880 love actually and not succeeding, and that is embarrassing. But um, 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:11.840 we're in New York City. It is New Year's Eve. Day. 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:14.960 I think there are like seven main storylines, but then 0:16:14.960 --> 0:16:17.520 a couple of them kind of morphed together by the end, 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:19.400 so it's sort of hard in a way that goes 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:21.960 to be like wow, but it's this, This is like 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:24.280 they're really reaching for love actually, because some of the 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:27.920 stories intersect there. But it's like, and it doesn't work 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:31.000 for me in that movie either, but this one is like, huh, 0:16:30.880 --> 0:16:34.640 why would you do that? It fails, We don't care, 0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:37.520 So it's worth mentioning New York City in a way 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:41.920 is the main character is really the protagonist of the film. 0:16:41.960 --> 0:16:43.800 It's just kind of a love letter to New York. 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:46.360 I love the part where Robert de Niro is like, ah, 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:49.560 that New York Air. You're like, yeah, that's disgusting, that 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:53.360 New York Air as it smells like trash all the time. 0:16:53.400 --> 0:16:56.680 It smells like something really wet that you can identify, 0:16:57.000 --> 0:17:01.480 like awesome. Yeah. They named all the segments, uh, really 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:03.600 boring and that did you see in the credits where 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:08.480 they're like resolution tour, hospital Story, Maternity, Ward Jensen and 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:14.960 Laura's story, Ellen the Mother Daughter, a Hearn party, Times Square. 0:17:15.240 --> 0:17:22.159 This is so the pinnacle of creativity if you ask me, okay, 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:25.040 so um. The other note about this is that I'm 0:17:25.080 --> 0:17:28.560 going to use actors names instead of characters names, just 0:17:28.600 --> 0:17:31.080 for the sake of clarity, because there are truly dozens 0:17:31.080 --> 0:17:34.120 and dozens of characters, um, and most of them are 0:17:34.119 --> 0:17:39.160 played by famous people, so that'll just make everything more clear. 0:17:40.040 --> 0:17:43.200 I'm also probably gonna, like accidentally or on purpose, leave 0:17:43.280 --> 0:17:45.520 some stuff out of this recap because there's just like 0:17:45.800 --> 0:17:50.640 far too much to even talk about. But here's the gist. So. 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:54.560 One story revolves around Hilary Swank. She is the VP 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:57.960 of the Times Square Alliance and she is in charge 0:17:57.960 --> 0:18:01.000 of the famous ball drop at midnight, she flips a 0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:04.439 gigantic light switch and that's her whole thing. But she 0:18:04.520 --> 0:18:12.320 has vertigo, so Chris has a cop right sure. Another 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:16.679 story revolves around Zac Efron, who is a bike courier 0:18:16.920 --> 0:18:19.400 and he really wants to do some like big epic 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:22.879 party for New Year's Eve that night with Ashton Kutcher, 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:27.400 his roommate. With Ashton Kutcher his roommate, Um, he drops 0:18:27.880 --> 0:18:32.040 something off a package for Michelle Peffer at her office 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:34.800 at a record company, and that turns out to be 0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:38.680 four tickets to this very exclusive party that Zach would 0:18:38.720 --> 0:18:41.760 love to go to, but she's like, get away from me, 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:45.520 and then she quits her shitty job with her shitty boss, 0:18:45.760 --> 0:18:49.280 John Lisco. John Litco is the only person who knows 0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:53.160 what movie he's in, and he has such a fun performance. 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:55.600 He goes like because she works at like a record 0:18:55.960 --> 0:18:59.000 that ahearn record company, and he's like, yes, you know, 0:18:59.119 --> 0:19:02.600 it's very not bad year for music, music piracy, blah 0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:05.480 blah blah. It's like, did you just skip over some 0:19:05.640 --> 0:19:09.600 of the script. And then when she says I quit, 0:19:09.800 --> 0:19:14.119 he goes, you can't quit. It's Grammy season. I was like, 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:21.399 this is so vague. Michelle Phifer's wig is so distracting. Really, 0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:24.800 I'm like she we were texting about this last night. 0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:27.719 But it's like everyone in this movie is playing themselves 0:19:27.760 --> 0:19:32.040 except for Michelle Pfeiffer, who is like doing this character. Yeah, 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:34.359 and okay, here's what's really did you get this sense 0:19:34.440 --> 0:19:37.000 to when you first watched the movie and you're first 0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:39.840 introduced to her character she has seen getting off of 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:42.160 a bus. She's holding a piece of paper. It makes 0:19:42.160 --> 0:19:44.800 it seem like this is her like first time in 0:19:44.840 --> 0:19:48.800 New York because immediately after that she almost she like 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:51.160 goes to cross the street and then almost gets hit 0:19:51.200 --> 0:19:53.560 by a cab and then has to like twirl around 0:19:53.600 --> 0:19:56.960 and then Pratt falls into a pile of trash. But 0:19:57.000 --> 0:19:59.320 then you find out she's lived here for years, right, 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:02.720 So I'm like, why would you set up this character 0:20:02.880 --> 0:20:07.119 that way? Like that so much reads as like she 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:09.800 just got off the bus in New York City where 0:20:09.840 --> 0:20:12.320 she's never been before, and she doesn't know how to 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:14.679 cross the street or she doesn't know how to like 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:19.000 navigate through the city. That's like a trope. Like you 0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:21.280 you see that shot and you're like, oh, I know 0:20:21.320 --> 0:20:24.800 what's happening, But then they make it they twisted for 0:20:24.840 --> 0:20:27.600 no reason. It's so weird. Like the way that this 0:20:27.680 --> 0:20:30.800 character is written is just like I don't even know 0:20:30.840 --> 0:20:33.800 if it's sexisty, I know, it makes no sense. I know, 0:20:33.880 --> 0:20:36.240 like I I guess it is sexist, but it's so 0:20:36.280 --> 0:20:40.200 nonsensical that you're just like, what were they trying to do? 0:20:40.320 --> 0:20:43.480 Even like she doesn't seem to know what her job is, 0:20:44.160 --> 0:20:47.080 or like she she doesn't I don't know what her 0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:49.439 job is, but she also doesn't know what her job is. 0:20:49.840 --> 0:20:53.000 Zach Efron comes to deliver her the mail every day, 0:20:53.000 --> 0:20:55.120 but he says he's a bike courier, not a male man. 0:20:55.800 --> 0:20:58.200 And then he says, I've seen you every I've brought 0:20:58.200 --> 0:20:59.960 you a package every day this year, and you've never 0:21:00.160 --> 0:21:03.840 looked at me, which is like, uh, if Zach Effron 0:21:03.920 --> 0:21:06.119 delivered me a package every day, I would like no, 0:21:06.640 --> 0:21:10.080 you know, and not look at anything else. I would 0:21:10.119 --> 0:21:13.199 be thinking about him constantly. And then she's invited to 0:21:13.480 --> 0:21:17.560 like this cool party, this like big record label party, 0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:21.320 the record label she is currently working at. And then 0:21:21.680 --> 0:21:24.280 he's like, oh wow, that's a really cool party and 0:21:24.320 --> 0:21:27.200 she's like, really, what is it. I'm like, you work here, 0:21:27.280 --> 0:21:31.320 what are you talking about? If it truly? I like that? 0:21:31.920 --> 0:21:36.080 And finally I like that Zach Efron's character's name is Paul. Paul. 0:21:37.560 --> 0:21:39.840 Here's a whole there's that whole thing where he sings 0:21:39.880 --> 0:21:42.919 that little song he goes, give all the chance to 0:21:43.040 --> 0:21:46.159 show you what I can do. It's like, what if 0:21:46.160 --> 0:21:48.680 his character's name isn't Paul? And he was just kind 0:21:48.720 --> 0:21:55.640 of guessing, Oh, funny, Sorry, this is a disaster. I know. Well, 0:21:55.680 --> 0:21:58.919 the record company that Michelle Peiffer works at is the 0:21:59.000 --> 0:22:05.760 same card company that is owned by Josh Dummel's character's 0:22:06.119 --> 0:22:11.359 mother and his storyline. His storyline is that he is 0:22:11.400 --> 0:22:15.240 trying to make his way to New York from Connecticut, 0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:17.919 where he like was just the witness of its friend's 0:22:17.960 --> 0:22:21.920 wedding or something on the morning of New Year's Eve. Sure, yeah, 0:22:22.160 --> 0:22:27.119 people have weddings then not absolutely made no assent, Like 0:22:27.200 --> 0:22:29.520 I just like, who are these people? Okay, we just 0:22:29.560 --> 0:22:34.320 need to get him. We haven't even gotten to Jessica 0:22:34.400 --> 0:22:41.600 Beale's unvaccinated fetus unbelievable. She an anti vaxer, big time 0:22:41.800 --> 0:22:44.920 anti vaxer. Very weird seeing her play a pregnant lady 0:22:44.920 --> 0:22:47.040 because you're like, this kid is in for a world 0:22:47.040 --> 0:22:52.320 of heart horrifying. She's bad. Well, Josh Jamel is trying 0:22:52.320 --> 0:22:54.760 to get to New York because he is giving a 0:22:54.840 --> 0:22:57.879 speech at an event which turns out to be the 0:22:57.920 --> 0:23:00.159 party that Zeke Efron is trying to go to, and 0:23:00.160 --> 0:23:03.439 he's also considering meeting up with a woman who he 0:23:03.640 --> 0:23:07.760 met last New Year's Eve, so that's his setup. Um 0:23:07.880 --> 0:23:13.440 onto zac Efron's roommate, Ashton Kutcher. He hates New Year's Eve. 0:23:13.600 --> 0:23:17.040 He's a grinch about New Year's here re arranges the 0:23:17.280 --> 0:23:19.320 sign this is happy New Year's even makes it say 0:23:19.400 --> 0:23:23.119 crappy New Year's Eve? Where did those letters come from? 0:23:23.480 --> 0:23:26.040 Where did the scene in the art come from? How 0:23:26.040 --> 0:23:31.280 did you get that? This is the worst written movie 0:23:31.520 --> 0:23:34.880 of all time? More like crappy New Year's Eve? Ashton 0:23:34.920 --> 0:23:36.959 Kutcher is so bad. I mean he's so bad and 0:23:37.000 --> 0:23:41.600 really honestly most movies. Um, but have you ever seen jobs, 0:23:41.640 --> 0:23:46.280 Steve Jobs? You've seen jobs there? Well? There there are 0:23:46.359 --> 0:23:49.159 a few moments in the elevator where he's channeling jobs. 0:23:49.160 --> 0:23:52.960 When he goes an illustrator, You're like, oh, that's like 0:23:53.119 --> 0:23:57.760 he's prepping for jobs anyway. Sorry, he doesn't want to 0:23:57.760 --> 0:24:00.080 do anything to celebrate New Year's Eve, and he's on 0:24:00.160 --> 0:24:01.840 his way to like throw out a bunch of New 0:24:01.920 --> 0:24:05.520 Year's decorations, but oh no, he gets stuck in his 0:24:05.640 --> 0:24:09.960 apartment buildings elevator with Leah Michelle. Is that how you 0:24:10.000 --> 0:24:12.439 say her name? William Michelle? Yeah, so we have in 0:24:12.480 --> 0:24:17.040 this storyline, we have, um, Leah Michelle, a confirmed racist, 0:24:17.560 --> 0:24:21.479 and Ashton Kutcher, an early investor in Uber and the 0:24:21.480 --> 0:24:24.679