WEBVTT - Second Cup: Say yes when you can

0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:09.720
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

0:00:11.160 --> 0:00:17.200
<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:23.079
<v Speaker 1>tip is to say yes when you can. We say

0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:27.400
<v Speaker 1>no to a lot of things. Saying yes when you

0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:32.280
<v Speaker 1>can buys a lot of goodwill and creates an environment

0:00:32.760 --> 0:00:38.559
<v Speaker 1>where people are willing to take risks and explore. In

0:00:38.720 --> 0:00:44.000
<v Speaker 1>any large organization, the default answer to anything new can

0:00:44.120 --> 0:00:50.239
<v Speaker 1>quickly become no. Managers become worried about how things will

0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:55.959
<v Speaker 1>be perceived or about setting a precedent. Before COVID, for example,

0:00:56.720 --> 0:01:00.640
<v Speaker 1>a great many requests to work from home or work flexibly,

0:01:01.120 --> 0:01:06.240
<v Speaker 1>we're automatically turned down because, well, what if everyone wanted

0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:10.199
<v Speaker 1>to work from home? We now know that that would

0:01:10.240 --> 0:01:15.000
<v Speaker 1>most likely be fine In many organizations, everyone worked from

0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:20.640
<v Speaker 1>home for a year and things kept chugging along if

0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:25.479
<v Speaker 1>folks have some level of self awareness. Hopefully this realization

0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:32.360
<v Speaker 1>spawned some hard thinking about those automatic knows, namely, the

0:01:32.440 --> 0:01:38.000
<v Speaker 1>catastrophizing doesn't serve anyone. We can say no when we

0:01:38.120 --> 0:01:44.760
<v Speaker 1>have to, but yes is an option as well. Indeed,

0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:47.240
<v Speaker 1>I once heard the advice that a real leader's job

0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:52.240
<v Speaker 1>is to say yes as much as possible. The idea

0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:55.960
<v Speaker 1>is that leadership isn't just about what you do. It's

0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:59.800
<v Speaker 1>also about what you allow and the environment you create.

0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:04.760
<v Speaker 1>When you have staff or volunteers who bring you ideas

0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:08.040
<v Speaker 1>about things they want to make happen, and you generally

0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:11.440
<v Speaker 1>say yes to these things, then people want to bring

0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:17.880
<v Speaker 1>you more ideas. Your organization becomes more innovative. People become

0:02:18.000 --> 0:02:21.760
<v Speaker 1>happier with their jobs when they feel like their ideas

0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:25.560
<v Speaker 1>are taken seriously and they are given the runway to

0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:30.080
<v Speaker 1>try things out. Not everything will work, of course, and

0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:33.399
<v Speaker 1>you might know that as a leader, but some things will.

0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:40.200
<v Speaker 1>So if something isn't terribly expensive or risky legally, then

0:02:40.240 --> 0:02:44.600
<v Speaker 1>there's no real harm in giving it a whirl. So

0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:48.720
<v Speaker 1>someone wants to work a different schedule, someone wants to

0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:52.880
<v Speaker 1>start an employee volunteering group, someone wants to test a

0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:58.760
<v Speaker 1>product in a totally different market. Why not saying yes

0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:01.520
<v Speaker 1>when you can. It's not just for leaders, it's good

0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:05.600
<v Speaker 1>counsel for parents too. It is painful to think about

0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:09.200
<v Speaker 1>how often we as parents say no on a typical

0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:13.160
<v Speaker 1>day to having pancakes for breakfast on a rushed morning,

0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:16.320
<v Speaker 1>going back upstairs to get different shoes when a child

0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:19.080
<v Speaker 1>is running late, or to having a second helping of

0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:22.880
<v Speaker 1>noodles before any chicken or peas to reading one more

0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:26.920
<v Speaker 1>book when it's already after bedtime. I imagine you have

0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:30.359
<v Speaker 1>said no to all sorts of things this morning already,

0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:35.320
<v Speaker 1>and to an extent that is appropriate, because part of

0:03:35.360 --> 0:03:40.840
<v Speaker 1>parenting is setting boundaries, but part of parenting is also

0:03:41.000 --> 0:03:45.000
<v Speaker 1>creating the space for our children to explore life and

0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:49.000
<v Speaker 1>become their own people. So if no one is going

0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:51.920
<v Speaker 1>to get hurt and it's not going to bust the bank,

0:03:53.000 --> 0:03:59.480
<v Speaker 1>why not try flipping the automatic no script? So say

0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:03.640
<v Speaker 1>yes when you can. To the bizarre outfit a child

0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:07.080
<v Speaker 1>puts together, the weird combination of foods in the lunch bag,

0:04:07.760 --> 0:04:12.360
<v Speaker 1>to the request to try archery or acts throwing, to

0:04:12.440 --> 0:04:14.960
<v Speaker 1>the suggestion to camp out in your backyard, or even

0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:20.000
<v Speaker 1>paint the playroom yellow. Instead of asking why, I think

0:04:20.360 --> 0:04:23.640
<v Speaker 1>why not? And if there is no reason to say no,

0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:28.839
<v Speaker 1>you could just say yes. You may be amazed at

0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:32.240
<v Speaker 1>what people come up with, and you buy a lot

0:04:32.279 --> 0:04:36.039
<v Speaker 1>of goodwill so that when you do need to say no,

0:04:37.279 --> 0:04:39.359
<v Speaker 1>people are more likely to accept that you have a

0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:43.360
<v Speaker 1>good reason as opposed to just generally being a downer

0:04:43.960 --> 0:04:49.400
<v Speaker 1>about everything. So this week in your professional and personal life,

0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:54.040
<v Speaker 1>try saying yes when you can. I'd love to hear

0:04:54.080 --> 0:04:58.280
<v Speaker 1>how it goes. You can reach me at Laura at

0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:06.520
<v Speaker 1>Laura Vanderkam. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,

0:05:07.480 --> 0:05:17.560
<v Speaker 1>and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:19.880
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:23.560
<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:28.000
<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod

0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:33.000
<v Speaker 1>that's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

0:05:33.880 --> 0:05:36.720
<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:40.679
<v Speaker 1>Podcast at iHeartMedia dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled

0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:43.200
<v Speaker 1>out with all the letters. Thanks so much. Should I

0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:51.279
<v Speaker 1>look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a

0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:56.039
<v Speaker 1>production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the

0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.800
<v Speaker 1>iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:09.320
<v Speaker 1>favorite chips M