WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: Nerds, the Floor Is Lava 0:00:00.720 --> 0:00:01.440 Kubbooms. 0:00:02.279 --> 0:00:05.360 If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes 0:00:05.400 --> 0:00:09.200 a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants 0:00:09.200 --> 0:00:12.480 of the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He 0:00:12.560 --> 0:00:15.480 treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the 0:00:15.600 --> 0:00:19.560 rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow to Clearinghouse of 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:23.480 hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:30.680 with Ben Maller starts right now. 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:34.680 In the air everywhere The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:38.519 Mahler and Danny g Radio A Happy Friday to you. 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:41.080 It is the beginning of the weekend. But the Audio 0:00:41.159 --> 0:00:47.280 Sweatshop does not stop. We produce fresh audio every single day. 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:52.040 Here of a new podcast on Saturday, another one on Sunday. 0:00:52.479 --> 0:00:55.360 But here we are together on this podcast. Today we 0:00:55.440 --> 0:01:01.200 have the Squiggly Zigzags and the flour is Lava. We'll 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:04.559 get to those, but first, it is National Handbag Day today. 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:07.640 I do not own a handbag. My wife owns many. 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:12.920 And it turns out that the handbag or the purse 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:18.600 goes all the way back, all the way back to 0:01:20.040 --> 0:01:23.039 way way back in time. In fact, the first recorded 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:26.720 it goes back to prehistory. The first purse recorded in 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:33.200 history belonged to osi Otzi the Iceman. Atzi the Iceman, 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:37.400 who lived between thirty four hundred and thirty one hundred 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:43.760 BC between what's now Austria and Italy. So if you 0:01:43.800 --> 0:01:47.000 need an ice, you went to Ozzi the Iceman in 0:01:47.480 --> 0:01:51.560 that area right around Austria and Italy. And apparently he 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:55.320 was not alone. The historians I filled down this rabbit 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:58.160 hole and they actually said that in the beginning, back 0:01:58.200 --> 0:02:03.320 in those days, mostly dudes carried purses because they needed 0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:06.960 access to the coins. That's money was coins, and the 0:02:06.960 --> 0:02:11.680 purse became a status symbol for men, the man purse, 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:15.720 which apparently is back now for some dudes like the person, 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:19.240 but he goes way way back. And obviously over time 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:25.760 women have hijacked the man purse and made it their 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:29.840 own and they became I guess it was like the 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:33.880 seventeen late seventeen hundreds. Many women I carried them, no 0:02:34.040 --> 0:02:37.720 men carried them. So anyway, National Handbag Day, so go 0:02:37.760 --> 0:02:42.360 out and buy a handbag. So I wanted to follow up. 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.880 I did the Overnight show, and the way this works 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:46.520 is I do the show and then I kind of 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:49.519 decompressed for a little bit, and then I leave the studio, 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:53.800 the remote studio, and then I walk away, and then 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:56.960 I try to collect my thoughts on what I want 0:02:57.000 --> 0:02:59.680 to talk about because I have to do the podcast. 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:03.000 To do the podcast, I'm contractually obligated to the podcast. 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:08.560 And so I wandered away, and I walked back into 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:11.840 the remote studio, and I sat in the chair and 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:14.360 I jotted down a few bullet points and some things, 0:03:14.400 --> 0:03:17.440 and then said, you know, I don't think I'm done 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:21.280 yapping about the baseball game. And there's something that I 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:23.480 missed on the overnight show that I meant to get 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:24.840 to that I didn't get to. And I thought, well, 0:03:24.880 --> 0:03:26.919 this is the fifth hour, and the whole point of 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:30.680 the fifth hour is to follow up on things that 0:03:31.160 --> 0:03:33.480 I could have or should have talked about during the week. 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:35.640 So anyway, get to the point, please. So I have 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:38.280 some more thoughts about the Dodger of Phillies series, which 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:42.760 ended yesterday, and it was very stressful. I didn't play 0:03:42.800 --> 0:03:44.400 any of those games, but I'm trying to watch three 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:46.360 games at the same time because the Dodger game went 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:48.640 to extra innings and so there's a lot going on. 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:51.320 But I'm going to focus on the Phillies Dodgers game 0:03:51.320 --> 0:03:55.920 because you know, not that much is going to change. However, 0:03:57.320 --> 0:04:01.680 this particular National League Divisional series of two is empirical 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:07.760 data that the obsession with stats has a fatal flaw. 0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:12.320 There's a soft underbelly. The three ring binder crowd got 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:16.840 absolutely pants in broad daylight. All the spreadsheets, all the 0:04:16.880 --> 0:04:24.159 AI expected outcomes, all the smug process over results lectures 0:04:24.160 --> 0:04:28.440 from the super nerds, and all all that went call 0:04:28.560 --> 0:04:33.360 Bluey on a sun soaked day at Dodgers Stadium. Now 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:36.320 we saw actual, honest, the goodest, I'm not making this up, 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:43.160 unpredictable baseball. The Phillies followed the binder of numbers perfectly 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:47.320 checked all the boxes, right. What was the game plan 0:04:47.400 --> 0:04:50.440 for the Philadelphia Phillies. Don't let sho Heo Tani beat 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:53.240 you check he's the Dodgers' top player. They checked that box, 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:59.080 get into that horrible Dodger bullpen. They blow check that box, 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:03.599 control game script check check check check check check. They 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:07.440 checked all the boxes, all the boxes in Philadelphia, and 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:11.160 yet they still today are cleaning out their locker and 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:15.920 packing their bags for Cancun because they forgot one it 0:05:16.200 --> 0:05:21.440 cheap bit seat, tiny weeny. Inconvenient detail, the sport of 0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:24.359 baseball is not played on a laptop. Oh what a bummer. 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:29.240 It's played by nervous humans with gloves and a heartbeat 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:31.119 that spikes up when they're playing in front of fifty 0:05:31.200 --> 0:05:36.159 thousand screaming lunatics. The three true outcomes crowd, we all 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:39.719 know who they are. Home run, walk, strikeout. They got 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:45.560 their little fantasy land shattered. It was shattered. Boom goes 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:48.760 to the dynamite. Because when you live and die by 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:51.760 the measurable outcomes, there's these people like to tell us 0:05:52.400 --> 0:05:56.400 you're banking on everything going exactly right. Now, before I 0:05:56.480 --> 0:05:59.680 go forward, let me tell you something. I actually don't 0:05:59.720 --> 0:06:05.880 hate analytics. I think everything in reasonable portions is fine. 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:10.600 The problem is the pendulum has swung so far in 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:15.320 this direction that it's insane. It's ridiculous right, and there's 0:06:15.680 --> 0:06:18.480 seemingly no way to dig out of it. Hopefully this 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:21.280 will be the start of something. I'm not someone that 0:06:21.320 --> 0:06:24.520 believes that'll be the case, because again, you're banging on 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:27.799 everything going right. However, October does not care about your 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:32.760 feelings about expected batting average or your launch angel latch, 0:06:32.920 --> 0:06:35.839 angle bull craft or whatever that the Phillies did not 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:41.120 account for the old school thing, put the ball in play. 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:45.000 Put the ball in play, and this was how baseball 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:47.080 had been played for the first one hundred and thirty 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:51.080 five years. That two hopper by Andy Paez in Game 0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:54.440 four and the eleventh inning, forty feet of nothing. He 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:58.280 hit the ball forty feet There should be shame he 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:01.360 was doing the postgame interview celebrating. His teammates ran out 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:06.520 to party with him. That turned the series switch off. 0:07:07.480 --> 0:07:11.000 That's what happens when you force defenders to make plays 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:14.840 under pressure. And yeah, this is a bit of hot 0:07:14.880 --> 0:07:18.000 take validation. I've done monologues over the last couple of 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:20.680 years about this very thing. When you put the ball 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:25.040 in play, crazy things happen, Unexpected things happen. The Phillies 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:28.840 built their game around avoiding that. The Dodgers, who also 0:07:29.280 --> 0:07:32.560 play by the Algo rhythms, they're run by the almighty 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:37.160 alg rhythms. However, call it what you want is beneficiary 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:40.880 of dumb luck. Andy Piez did not have to hit 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:43.320 a ball four hundred and fifty shot over the four 0:07:43.360 --> 0:07:46.920 hundred and fifty feet uarters over the pavilion. He hit 0:07:47.160 --> 0:07:49.560 what many would describe the clinical term I believe in 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:52.560 baseball is a worm burner. He hit a worm burner 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:58.480 back to the mount. So what happens o'riyan Kirkering melts 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:04.400 down like butter airmails, the throw panic at the disco, 0:08:05.760 --> 0:08:11.240 Dodgers score, the Dodgers win, and the Phillies go check 0:08:11.720 --> 0:08:16.520 travel plans with their travel agent. That's the human element 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:19.960 the geekdom does not account for. They just don't. Do 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:22.720 you agree, you're shaking your head, yes, good. You can't 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:28.800 code a panic attack into your war protection, your wins 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:32.840 above replacement. This is why we rip the nerds. It's 0:08:32.960 --> 0:08:36.040 the very essence of what we're talking about, the epitome 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:38.640 of what we're talking about. They don't trust the game 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:42.240 to be messy. They don't factor that in. They're obsessed 0:08:42.480 --> 0:08:44.679 the people that run these big time teams. They's pretty 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:47.840 much every team in baseball. They're obsessed with controlling chaos, 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:51.760 with reducing liability. Everything has to be down to a 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:59.280 decimal And the problem is baseball pushes real baseball when 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:01.520 you play the right way, it pushes and punishes the 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:05.200 control freaks. Spoiler alert, spoiler alert all statistics and I 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:09.479 was taught this years ago all statistics have outliers. Stats 0:09:09.640 --> 0:09:14.280 aren't linear, They're not They have squiggly zigzags. Not the 0:09:14.320 --> 0:09:16.120 guy that used to call the Ben Maler Show twenty 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:20.719 years ago called zigzag. No, they have squiggly zigzags. October 0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:27.000 still rewards teams that make something out of nothing, that 0:09:27.080 --> 0:09:31.000 makes something happen. Put the ball in play, make a 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:35.560 shortstop plant and throw on a tough hop that reliever, 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:38.480 make him pick up the little dribbler with the sweaty 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:43.199 palms and the nerves and the brain fart happens right. 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:46.280 Make a catcher block a pitch in the dirt with 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:51.120 a runner coming home. That stuff's not necessarily glamorous, and 0:09:51.200 --> 0:09:54.960 it doesn't fit into the computer. However, I am of 0:09:55.120 --> 0:09:58.200 the dogma that it believes. I'm in the cult where 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:01.600 that still wins and that works. They didn't account, for example, 0:10:01.600 --> 0:10:04.000 the Phillies when they talked about, hey, we got a sapotani, 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.000 we got to get to the Dodger bullpen, all this stuff. 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:09.200 They did not account for Bryce Harper riding the vomit 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:12.480 comet and batting two hundred. They didn't account for Kyle 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:17.000 Schwarber hitting what a buck forty three a dugout full 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:20.200 of dudes who I don't know where they're staring at 0:10:20.240 --> 0:10:22.160 the table. I don't know what they were doing. And 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:25.000 you know they were staring at their tablets. They were 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:28.520 staring at something, but they didn't do the thing they 0:10:28.520 --> 0:10:30.480 were supposed to do at the time they was doing. Meanwhile, 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:33.920 the Dodgers with a bullpen, which is a house of 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:36.480 horse things that go bump in the night. The Dodger bullpen. 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:39.360 Everyone said, we said, it's a disaster, and it was. 0:10:40.000 --> 0:10:43.080 We were right. We won that take. It's a disaster. 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:46.720 They did pitch the contact. But if you look at 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:52.599 the numbers on the Dodger bullpen outside of Roku Suzaki, 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:55.040 the Dodger bullpen on an erea of five point five. 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:57.199 All so, the Phillies got to the bullpen, they got 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:01.640 runs off the bullpen. Kershaw melted down. The Dodgers, realizing 0:11:01.640 --> 0:11:05.120 their bullpen such a national embarrassment that they were using, 0:11:05.200 --> 0:11:09.680 starting pitching in relief. That was the move. And so 0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:12.640 again this is just a kick to the nuts for 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.440 those of you in the back of the room. The 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:18.800 Phillies actually again they executed the plan. They got the 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:22.600 cold Oltani. He's supposedly the greatest player in baseball who 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:26.240 was terrible. They got the shaky bullpen. They had every 0:11:26.520 --> 0:11:30.840 advantage possible on a tablet. We used to say paper, 0:11:30.880 --> 0:11:33.560 but now they used tablets and the Phillies still lost. 0:11:33.800 --> 0:11:35.840 And this is the end of this run. They're going 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:38.600 to have to reorganize that rosters. We talked about on 0:11:38.640 --> 0:11:43.400 the radio show last night. This NLDS of twenty twenty five. 0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:48.160 It reminded every man, woman and child that you can 0:11:48.559 --> 0:11:51.840 still win by forcing the other team to make plays 0:11:52.080 --> 0:11:58.679 under pressure. And it's the simplest thing to do, and 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:06.120 it's become underrated, which seems ridiculous to say that it's underrated. 0:12:06.160 --> 0:12:09.040 Does that not seem dumb to dumb dumb dumb that 0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:13.160 just making someone make a play is the most underrated 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:15.840 weapon in baseball Because everything is run the same way, 0:12:16.559 --> 0:12:19.920 and so it's not original. Every team hires some nerd 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:23.400 from an IVY League school or an IVY League adjacent 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:27.120 school to run their front office. All the owners have 0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:30.080 been convinced this is the way, and it's not just 0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:33.360 the way, it's the only way to get it done. 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:37.160 You have to do it this way, and so you 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:39.840 get all the advantages, you still end up US losing 0:12:39.880 --> 0:12:44.520 and all that stuff. So yeah, congratulations to the Phillies. 0:12:44.559 --> 0:12:47.800 The binder was flawless. You executed your game plan, you 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:51.679 did everything you wanted to do. And as the great 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:58.920 John Sterling would say, that's baseball, Susan, that's baseball. You 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:02.959 know you didn't win. Binder Ball works in June and July. 0:13:03.559 --> 0:13:06.040 You go through the numbers and all the different things, 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:11.000 and that'll work. The issue with playoff baseball, as has 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:14.440 been discussed and you've heard it, is small sample size 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:19.520 and stuff that works in April, May, June, July, and August. 0:13:19.679 --> 0:13:23.120 It dies on the vine in October. And if you 0:13:23.120 --> 0:13:26.560 don't believe me, you might want to call up the Phillies. 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:28.920 I'll also tell the Phillies did look good, those uniforms, 0:13:29.000 --> 0:13:36.679 those powder blues, solid good look. Result not so much, 0:13:36.960 --> 0:13:42.240 not so much so. Turning the page, well not too far. 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:44.960 It's still a sporty story, but it's not really about sports. 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:48.720 So let's take you back. I know Week six started 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:53.600 last night with the upset city as the Giants upset 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:57.840 the reeling Philadelphia Eagles that are coming apart of the scene, 0:13:58.400 --> 0:13:59.760 but let's take you back to Week five of the 0:13:59.880 --> 0:14:03.720 n season. Just last weekend. It was not the kind 0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:07.800 of welcome you'd expect when you stroll into a multi 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:14.079 billion dollar infl facility. You imagine when you go into 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:17.920 a place like that, gleaming quarters, polished marble like the 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:24.800 taj Mahal, smiling staff, all wearing those matching polos, and 0:14:24.840 --> 0:14:28.840 they greet you with welcome to Sofi Stadium, Sir, how 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:32.720 can I help you? Well, that's what you would imagine 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:37.640 you would get. Instead the person you're listening to, that 0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:42.040 would be me. Ben got a masterclass in how to 0:14:42.120 --> 0:14:46.479 weaponize a reflective vest. You see. Last weekend, the Chargers 0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:51.520 were hosting the Washington Commanders. Yes, those Washington Commanders, the 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:55.800 team formerly known as the Redskins, but now known for 0:14:56.000 --> 0:15:00.800 owning more rebrands than playoff wins, although I guess they 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:02.480 did win a few games last year, but still the 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:05.920 Commanders known as the Washington football team. They were the 0:15:05.960 --> 0:15:10.280 Redskins for years that named Commanders. And I saw them, 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:12.560 and I saw the press notes that said Commanders on it, 0:15:12.600 --> 0:15:15.400 and they know the Washington traveling media that was there. 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:20.239 Commanders feels like it's the great value brand from Walmart. 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:26.160 It's a generic store brand, it's not a real NFL brand. Well, nevertheless, 0:15:26.280 --> 0:15:30.360 I made the track down to Inglewood in the hood 0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:33.920 in Inglewood and up to no good. Apparently I was 0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:39.160 up to no good. The modern day Colisseum the greatest 0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:44.640 stadium in the NFL, where billionaires mingle with influencers and 0:15:45.240 --> 0:15:48.840 occasionally the great unwashed, the hoy poloy make their way 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:52.560 inside that stadium, and really the rest of us just 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:57.360 kind of find the right escalator. It is a beautiful facility. 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:01.280 So before kickoff, sent the txed over to my old pal, 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:06.800 my former colleague, Eddie Garcia. Now Eddie is a Steeler fan, 0:16:06.920 --> 0:16:12.760 but through marriage, Eddie is a Charger fan and his 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:16.080 wife is a super fan. He's become a podcaster since 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:19.760 he got whacked by the company, and one of the 0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:23.080 few people in sports media who can still form a 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:27.360 coherent sentence without consulting a teleprompter. I'm not gonna send 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:30.480 any tom loony. I'm not saying any anyway. So we'd 0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:35.280 agreed to meet for a quick catch up, nothing elaborate, 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:38.000 you know. It's a brief destent, I believe, is the 0:16:38.040 --> 0:16:42.920 word between two men who over the years have spent 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:48.720 many many many nights in dark, dingy radio studios infested 0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:54.080 by vermin giant coca roaches, talking about backup catchers and 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:59.000 third string quarterbacks and all this other blogoney that we 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:01.960 talk about. And so our meeting spot was a little 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:05.920 in between zone. Now what does that mean? I'll tell 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:09.960 you what that So I was media free loading in 0:17:10.000 --> 0:17:14.120 the press box and it was one level down from 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:16.480 the press box, but one level up from Eddie. So 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:19.440 meet in the middle. The man in the middle, Eddie 0:17:19.440 --> 0:17:22.439 sits in a bougie seat on the lower level. So 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:24.639 I had to go down out of the press box. 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:26.119 I had to walk down a flight of stairs and 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:30.680 then walked out a door that is designed for like emergencies, 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:34.200 the fire escape. I walked down that. I then walk 0:17:34.400 --> 0:17:38.160 over and I have to walk down to an escalator. 0:17:38.160 --> 0:17:40.080 I go down the escalator and then I met the 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:45.320 right turn and I walk about fifteen yards or so, 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.800 and then there's Eddie and Eddie has to go one 0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:51.080 level up and he's right there. It's a neutral site. 0:17:51.720 --> 0:17:55.280 It's like the Geneva you know group there. It's just 0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:59.240 more nacho cheese, just with more nacho cheese. Now we 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:05.119 chatted for me maybe five minutes. This was not a 0:18:05.160 --> 0:18:09.440 long thing. You know, we're both introverts. We talk when 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:11.360 we have microphones in front of us. We don't talk 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:15.119 that much without microphones. I have to talk four hours 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:17.200 a night. I do three hours on the weekend. So 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:20.640 I know I'm good. I like Eddie, and we had 0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:23.280 standard pleasantries and all that. How's the family, how's the 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:25.760 wife doing, how's the podcast? How's life treating you in 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:30.320 the glamorous world of niche podcasting? And then came the 0:18:30.359 --> 0:18:33.440 photo op. This is all basic, basic, This is paint 0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:37.600 by numbers. A couple of old war horses smiling for 0:18:37.680 --> 0:18:40.560 the camera, neither of us realizing that in that very 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:44.520 moment we had become fugitives. I didn't realize I was 0:18:44.560 --> 0:18:46.520 a fugitive. I just wanted to meet an old friend 0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:48.679 and take a photo and catch up and have some 0:18:48.680 --> 0:18:51.280 small talk. I don't even like small talk normally. It 0:18:51.400 --> 0:18:54.679 turns out that its Sofi stadium. When you stand in 0:18:54.840 --> 0:18:58.240 the place I was standing, you became a fugitive. I 0:18:58.240 --> 0:19:01.919 didn't realize it. I hope my family's not disappointed with me, 0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:09.920 because apparently we were standing on sacred ground out of nowhere. 0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:18.399 A Sofi stadium employee appeared a middle aged woman, very 0:19:18.720 --> 0:19:22.680 negative injury energy, very negative jerurgy. You know that kind 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:28.520 of grumpy woman where she last smiled when Bill Clinton 0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:31.520 was president. It's been been a minute, and I was 0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:34.879 not getting a lot of loving And I'm telling you, 0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:37.680 she was vibrating with the kind of energy that you 0:19:37.840 --> 0:19:42.680 normally see when you go too the DMV right or HOA. 0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:44.520 I used to have an HOA. God. I hated the 0:19:44.680 --> 0:19:46.560 HOA like the people that run the ho I just 0:19:46.680 --> 0:19:50.240 really just scum of the earth. She looked at us 0:19:51.040 --> 0:19:54.320 the way that I imagine security guards look at teenagers 0:19:54.359 --> 0:19:59.320 that are loitering outside an Apple store. You can't stand there, 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:06.280 she barked our our uh, and so that was pretty annoying. 0:20:07.800 --> 0:20:11.560 There's ways to handle these situations, not hey guys. She 0:20:11.600 --> 0:20:14.200 didn't say, hey guys, sorry, quick heads up. I kind 0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:15.760 of need you to move. Can you do me a 0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:18.040 good solid Please take the photo and then move on. 0:20:18.160 --> 0:20:20.920 I need that space clear. Not even a polite would 0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:22.600 you mind moving? I didn't get a polite would you 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:26.320 mind moving? No? No, no. This was the malibuz most 0:20:26.400 --> 0:20:30.879 wanted of stadium enforcement. The tone, the stance, the whole 0:20:30.960 --> 0:20:34.520 power trip ensemble. She had it all going on, and 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:37.879 as lee Elia would say, they're really really behind you 0:20:37.960 --> 0:20:41.560 around here, my fucking ass. All right, that's what I 0:20:41.600 --> 0:20:43.120 was thinking. I was thinking of Lee Ilia, the old 0:20:43.119 --> 0:20:46.080 Cubs manager who died this year. Now, I have been 0:20:46.119 --> 0:20:50.160 around long enough at this point in my life where 0:20:50.240 --> 0:20:53.359 I recognize when I come across what I call a 0:20:53.440 --> 0:20:58.200 Paul bart Malkop moment. We know, and I think most 0:20:58.240 --> 0:21:01.040 people know even when you're younger. You recognize a Paul 0:21:01.119 --> 0:21:05.359 Bart Malcott moment. When it's unfolded. You give someone who's 0:21:05.359 --> 0:21:08.520 spent their life in the shadows being ignored by polite 0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:12.560 society a tiny bit of authority, just a little bit 0:21:12.600 --> 0:21:19.720 of authority, and suddenly they are patent storming Normandy, General Patton, 0:21:19.720 --> 0:21:23.080 the storming Normandy. Now this woman, and I don't know 0:21:23.119 --> 0:21:26.840 her name, she seemed to believe that that little hunk 0:21:26.880 --> 0:21:30.960 of concrete that we were standing on was the last 0:21:31.040 --> 0:21:34.120 unspoiled piece of American spoil, and it was her job 0:21:34.160 --> 0:21:36.600 to keep it unspoiled. And it was only her job. 0:21:36.640 --> 0:21:38.320 It was no one else's job, it was her job. 0:21:38.960 --> 0:21:42.159 And so the floor was lava. I didn't realize it. 0:21:42.200 --> 0:21:43.520 I'd played that game when I was a kid. The 0:21:43.560 --> 0:21:47.120 floor is lava or the Flora's sharks, and we were trespassing. 0:21:47.920 --> 0:21:49.679 I had to pass. Eddie had a ticket, but we 0:21:49.680 --> 0:21:53.600 were trespassing. Now, I'm a reasonable human being, contrary to 0:21:53.760 --> 0:21:55.840 what many of you think. And I'm talking about you 0:21:55.920 --> 0:21:58.760 being the algorithms on social media. You know how I 0:21:58.760 --> 0:22:01.359 feel about the matrix of X and all that stuff 0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:05.119 which used to be Twitter. So based on that, you know, 0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:08.639 then the suggestion is, I'm not that way. I promise you, 0:22:08.680 --> 0:22:11.120 if you ask nicely, I'll move. I will I will 0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:13.360 move if you ask nicely. But if you come at 0:22:13.400 --> 0:22:17.639 me like a buzzsaw with this self righteous, condescending I 0:22:17.680 --> 0:22:22.000 will hold the keys. I have the keys to the elevator. 0:22:22.080 --> 0:22:25.320 You don't. That's my tone. Now that's a different animal, 0:22:25.600 --> 0:22:28.119 that's a different story. And so for me, when you 0:22:28.200 --> 0:22:30.960 do that to me, you've started the battle and it's 0:22:31.119 --> 0:22:33.560 f around and find out. So, yes, I made a 0:22:33.600 --> 0:22:38.200 few snarky remarks. I may have mentioned that this seemed 0:22:38.240 --> 0:22:40.760 like a very curious way to treat two people who 0:22:41.040 --> 0:22:45.639 theoretically help promote the stadium and the product on a 0:22:45.680 --> 0:22:50.439 big platform, and I may have wandered aloud, you know, 0:22:51.119 --> 0:22:55.399 just you know, in the public space there, you know, 0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:58.840 wandered aloud whether this was the hill that this woman 0:22:58.920 --> 0:23:02.359 wanted to die on the I am defending the honor 0:23:02.440 --> 0:23:05.679 of the no photo zone between the pretzel stand and 0:23:05.720 --> 0:23:09.720 the service elevator. And she didn't seem too amused. As 0:23:09.760 --> 0:23:11.680 I said, she was a very angry woman. I feel 0:23:11.680 --> 0:23:13.480 bad for her. She's apparently had a tough life. People 0:23:13.480 --> 0:23:16.119 have been rude her, and I get it. Rules are 0:23:16.200 --> 0:23:20.280 rules again, Someone somewhere probably wrote a memo, some corporate 0:23:20.280 --> 0:23:25.359 weasel about this exact patch of the hallway, and likely 0:23:25.400 --> 0:23:28.680 if you go through the bowels of Sofi Stadium, there's 0:23:29.080 --> 0:23:32.679 I'm guaranteeing there's somewhere there's a laminated chart in some 0:23:32.920 --> 0:23:36.000 break room with an overpriced vending machine that says no 0:23:36.200 --> 0:23:40.679 standing between section one thirty two B and one thirty 0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:47.680 two C. Photo ops require supervisor approval. That is bureaucracy 0:23:47.800 --> 0:23:52.080 with a capital B. It is. It is the Actually, 0:23:52.320 --> 0:23:55.280 it's a great American art form, and it's everywhere. I 0:23:55.400 --> 0:23:58.000 work in a major corporation that has to deal with that, 0:23:58.200 --> 0:24:03.879 and it's it's a tough thing and here's the point 0:24:03.960 --> 0:24:06.119 that I wanted to make on this. We were not 0:24:06.240 --> 0:24:08.760 at the Pentagon. You might think that we were at 0:24:08.800 --> 0:24:12.840 the Pentagon. They have facial recognition similar to the Pentagon. 0:24:13.080 --> 0:24:16.720 I would argue that going to an NFL game is 0:24:18.200 --> 0:24:22.119 more secure than the Pentagon. I really believe that in 0:24:22.160 --> 0:24:25.000 my heart that you have to sign away all of 0:24:25.040 --> 0:24:27.320 your rights to go to an NFL game. Because the 0:24:27.400 --> 0:24:31.520 NFL hired all of these old CIA people. That's what 0:24:32.080 --> 0:24:34.879 I was told by somebody, and so they said, we 0:24:34.960 --> 0:24:37.600 want these stadiums safe. We don't want anyone to get hurt. 0:24:37.600 --> 0:24:40.000 So I have an abundance of caution. We're going to 0:24:40.040 --> 0:24:41.840 have everyone that goes into a stadium, they're gonna be 0:24:41.880 --> 0:24:45.600 facial recognition. You're gonna have to sign away your firstborn child. 0:24:46.480 --> 0:24:48.520 So it wasn't the Pentagon. It was a stadium. It 0:24:48.520 --> 0:24:50.919 was a football stadium, a place where people I assume 0:24:51.000 --> 0:24:54.640 still paint their faces, scream until they lose their voices 0:24:54.680 --> 0:24:57.720 because of running back fumbled at the one yard line 0:24:57.760 --> 0:25:00.919 with a chance to win the game. Kyri Williams will Rams. 0:25:01.160 --> 0:25:02.760 That's why I know this was a Charger game. But 0:25:02.760 --> 0:25:10.320 the whole operation exists in theory to make fans feel something. Right, 0:25:10.359 --> 0:25:12.439 you go to a game. Otherwise you wouldn't go to 0:25:12.480 --> 0:25:13.960 a game. You just stay home and watch it on 0:25:14.000 --> 0:25:15.840 TV or listening to on the radio. But you go 0:25:15.920 --> 0:25:18.040 to a game because it's just you feel a vibration. 0:25:18.680 --> 0:25:21.359