1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Brought to you by the reinvented two thousand twelve Camray. 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:09,840 Speaker 1: It's ready. Are you welcome to step Mom never told 3 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:17,480 Speaker 1: you from House top Works dot Com. Come and welcome 4 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,280 Speaker 1: to the podcast. This is Molly and I'm Kristen. Kristen. 5 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: We had a pretty cool opportunity come up to us 6 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: a few a few weeks ago, FILS we did. We 7 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: talked to Dr Rebecca Beaton, who was a psychologist and 8 00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: also the founder and director of the Anxiety and Stress 9 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: Management Institute. Yes, frankly surprising, she didn't take both of 10 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,440 Speaker 1: us away for anxiety and stress management help Tacus the 11 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 1: real But actually, if you are a fan of TLC, 12 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:46,200 Speaker 1: you've probably seen Dr Beaton on the show Hoarding Buried Alive. Yeah, 13 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:51,560 Speaker 1: hoarding has been getting a lot of attention lately on television. Uh, 14 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: it's sort of come out of nowhere, highlighting this disorder 15 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,639 Speaker 1: that's actually been around and recognized in the clinical community 16 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 1: for a long time. But I don't know about you, Molly, 17 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 1: but it's only been in maybe the past year or 18 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,880 Speaker 1: two that I've really known about hoarding. Yeah, it's been 19 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,039 Speaker 1: everywhere in the last year or two, and and that's 20 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: why it was so great to talk to Dr Beaton 21 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,840 Speaker 1: is because she, I think, cleared up a lot of misconceptions, 22 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,880 Speaker 1: sort of more defined this condition of hoarding for us. 23 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 1: So we're going to play a lot of our conversation 24 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:23,000 Speaker 1: with her today. But before we get started, shall I 25 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: just give you a brief overview of hoarding? Yes, please, 26 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: In case you've been living in a house that's full 27 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 1: of belongings and you can't find a radio. I'm a 28 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: little concerned. I don't have a closet in my room, 29 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,479 Speaker 1: so sometimes I feel like a hoarder even if I'm 30 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,040 Speaker 1: not hoarding, just because my things are always out. I'm 31 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: gonna be honest with you, I think even if you're 32 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 1: not a hoarder, listening to Dr Beaton is going to 33 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 1: make you question yourself. Yeah, you're gonna want to go 34 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: clean out your sock drawer or something you gotta You're 35 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: gonna have to get rid of something. Hoarding is an 36 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: excessive collection of items along with the inability to discard them. 37 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: That sense is from the Mayo Clinic. And what happens, 38 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 1: what really distinguishes hoarding from something else is Dr Beaton's 39 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,600 Speaker 1: gonna againto is just how it affects your living conditions, right, 40 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: they're gonna get so cramped that everything is filled a capacity. 41 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: But people who are living there don't see it as 42 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 1: a problem. It's often the people around the hoarder who finally, 43 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:13,880 Speaker 1: you know, it's the breaking point where they're like, you've 44 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: got to do something about this. Right. And one thing 45 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: that I didn't know about hoarding before we talked to 46 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,920 Speaker 1: Dr Beaton was that it's actually UM right now considered 47 00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:25,799 Speaker 1: a subset of O c D or obsessive compulsive disorder. 48 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:28,639 Speaker 1: But that's actually about to change, is Dr Beaton's gonna 49 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: tell us about, and hoarding is going to be classified 50 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: as its own specific disorder. So here's Dr Beaton telling 51 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,959 Speaker 1: us a little bit more about hoarding in its connection 52 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:43,400 Speaker 1: to O c D in terms of the connection with 53 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: UM O c D. Typically it's considered right now subtype 54 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: of O c D and UM or it's also considered 55 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 1: one of the eight criteria for obsessive compulsive personality disorder, 56 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,799 Speaker 1: which is slightly different than just straight O c D 57 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: uh UM. And however, they are slating to put the 58 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: new Diagnostical Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders into effect in 59 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 1: two thousand twelve and they've slated hoarding disorder to be 60 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:21,639 Speaker 1: its own disorder among the anxiety disorders and the new 61 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: d S M and UM and primarily because they've realized 62 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:31,359 Speaker 1: that there's different neurobiology with hoarding than O c D 63 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 1: and also the treatment protocol that you would use to 64 00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: treat O c D doesn't quite work with hoarding disorder, 65 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: and so they've realized that it is really very unique 66 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 1: and it should not just be classified as a subtype. Now. 67 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: I have to say, Christen, when we first started thinking 68 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: about talking about hoarding, my mind immediately went to my father, 69 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: who collects a lot of political memorabilia, sometimes the point 70 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: of obsession, but you know, it's it's really cool stuff. 71 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 1: And I think that often probably my long suffering mother 72 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: has been like is this collecting or is this hoarding? Right? 73 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: Because so many people have all kinds of collections. I 74 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: know I had to stamp collection as a child, Molly 75 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: um my mother. I probably shouldn't share this, but embarrassing 76 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,040 Speaker 1: factually had a Beanie baby collection. I think everyone has something, 77 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,600 Speaker 1: you know, and and it's very easy to um. I've 78 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,599 Speaker 1: told this story, I think to you before Christmen. One 79 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 1: time I made a pair of frog pajamas in a 80 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 1: sewing class. Yes, you brought this up in our home podcast, 81 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 1: and now everyone gives me frog stuff just at the wazoo. 82 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:38,160 Speaker 1: So now you're the girl collecting frogs even though you 83 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: didn't even mean to start, even when you just start 84 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:43,600 Speaker 1: this collection. So how do I distinguish a shelf for 85 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:47,600 Speaker 1: full of frog gifts from you know, something more sinister 86 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,160 Speaker 1: like hoarding? And that is the question we posed to 87 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 1: dr beaton. Where the real problem comes in is if 88 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: it caused impairment and they're functioning, So if it's causing 89 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,720 Speaker 1: the living space to be so out it that they 90 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: can't move around very well or access things that they 91 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: need like the stove or the refrigerator, or if it's 92 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:11,719 Speaker 1: blocking like heat ducks or exits is so it really 93 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 1: comes down to how much space it's taking up versus 94 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: what it is. So when you watch the show Hoarding 95 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 1: Buried Alive on TLC and you see the extent to 96 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:28,240 Speaker 1: which hoarding has clearly um created some kind of functional 97 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:30,679 Speaker 1: impairment in these people's lives. I mean there's just stuff. 98 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,840 Speaker 1: They can't even get through their houses. They can barely 99 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,599 Speaker 1: sleep in their own beds because there was just stuff everywhere. 100 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,520 Speaker 1: The big question for me while it was where does 101 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:44,800 Speaker 1: this hoarding behavior come from? It seems so abnormal in 102 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 1: a way, because you know, you can see the evidence 103 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: of this this functional impairment right in front of you. 104 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: So the question we wanted to ask Dr Beaton was 105 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 1: what are the psychological roots of this kind of obsessive, 106 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:05,599 Speaker 1: compulsive of behavior. I find that almost all hoarders are 107 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 1: trying to protect themselves, So no matter what they're reason 108 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: for collecting is underneath it all is a way of 109 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,280 Speaker 1: putting up a wall to keep them safe from people. Um, 110 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: there's certainly a biological predisposition to it, we've determined, and 111 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:28,040 Speaker 1: it's hereditary. You know. There's some statistics that say up 112 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 1: to cent of first degree relatives are a person with 113 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,719 Speaker 1: hoarding disorder will have a first degree relative that also 114 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 1: has hoarding disorder, So they've got that predisposition. However, Um, 115 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 1: you know, and it also starts in early childhood and adolescent. 116 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:52,559 Speaker 1: So if you start to see the pattern coming about 117 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: in early adolescents typically and they start hoarding somewhat, and 118 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: then as life goes on and we all go through 119 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:06,840 Speaker 1: trials and tribulations and personal um losses and those losses 120 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,840 Speaker 1: seem to really affect them more and more where they 121 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: start walling off, and um, they're really protecting themselves from 122 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 1: being hurt by people, and that's a great way to do. 123 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 1: So you don't invite people into your home because you 124 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: don't want them to see it, and um, they are 125 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:23,360 Speaker 1: worried that people are going to judge them, so they 126 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 1: just don't allow themselves to get close to other people. 127 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,960 Speaker 1: So that's a component I think that's important to realize, 128 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: is that there's definitely a social aspect there of there 129 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 1: they're wanting to protect themselves, and um, I think that 130 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,280 Speaker 1: gets missed at times. Clearly. It takes a lot of 131 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: time though too a mass an enormous collection. I mean, 132 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 1: it took me years to create the perfect stamp collection, Molly, 133 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: I'm really excited collection. That's not a ware it existed. Well, 134 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: I kind of had had a jump, so it was 135 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 1: it was a election started by my father that was 136 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 1: innt handed down Jamie, so I didn't have to start 137 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: from scratch. But with as with any collection, it takes 138 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: a long time to accumulate all of these things. So 139 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 1: a lot of times, by the time hoarding really gets 140 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 1: out of hand, you're an adult, you know, your middle aged. 141 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,400 Speaker 1: You've had years and you probably have the apartment or 142 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: the house and the disposed income and the disposable income 143 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:28,840 Speaker 1: to create these enormous collections of things. But one thing 144 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:32,200 Speaker 1: that doctor Beaten points out is that this behavior, whether 145 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 1: you can notice it or not, generally begins in adolescence. 146 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 1: I have an adolescent right now that um it's actually 147 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 1: a family I'm working with and I UM and the 148 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:50,040 Speaker 1: the adolescent has started to watch hoarding Buried Alive and realized, 149 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I have this. And he realized it 150 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:57,720 Speaker 1: before his mother even realized it because he's he's holding 151 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,160 Speaker 1: onto all these items from childhood because it reminds some 152 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 1: happy times and he does not want to let go 153 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: of his g I. Joe's and all these various things. So, UM, 154 00:09:08,320 --> 00:09:10,800 Speaker 1: that's really you can start to see whether they're having 155 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 1: anxiety around partying with items that it's really important they 156 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: keep everything. Um. And and you know, for him, he's 157 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,320 Speaker 1: catching it early. And so he's got a charity that 158 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 1: he really likes, and he is donating to the charity 159 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 1: and he's trying to you know, we're trying to help 160 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 1: him reframe, you know, it isn't it great to have 161 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: some other um, you know, kid out there that can 162 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 1: enjoy these items that that you're just living sit on 163 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,079 Speaker 1: the shelf at this point. So, I mean that's primary. 164 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:42,080 Speaker 1: Primarily where it shows up is is toys and memories 165 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,240 Speaker 1: or you know, but it can be different things too. 166 00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 1: I mean, you can still be like their trash or 167 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,240 Speaker 1: um you know, a collection of some kind. It just depends, 168 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 1: but that is where it shows up. Typically there's some 169 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,440 Speaker 1: sense of being, you know, wanting to keep things and 170 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 1: collect things in at a lot sense even an early 171 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 1: child that it can show up, but it doesn't a 172 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: lot of times it goes under the radar until they 173 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 1: are older. And if you have, if you've noticed with 174 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,840 Speaker 1: the show, they are often in their mid fifties. And 175 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: so if you think about mid fifties, that's about the 176 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:20,920 Speaker 1: time you lose a parent and um or have lost 177 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,079 Speaker 1: a parent maybe you know, within the last decade, and 178 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 1: over the last decade the hoarding gets worse. So they 179 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 1: end up on the show about mid fifties. So they 180 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: can go under the radar for a long time. Plus 181 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,520 Speaker 1: it takes a while. It depends about how much money 182 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,679 Speaker 1: a person has, but it takes a while to fill 183 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,559 Speaker 1: up a house. You know. You also find with them 184 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,679 Speaker 1: that they have like some kind of inheritance. Um, you 185 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 1: know that they you know, one person I worked with 186 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: on the show, she had had a two d thod 187 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,440 Speaker 1: dollar inheritance and she blew through it in a couple 188 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:52,240 Speaker 1: of years and that's how she built up her house. Um. 189 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,839 Speaker 1: So if that's why it shows up later on, is 190 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: it takes time to have enough money to collect these 191 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,120 Speaker 1: things or I mean, you know, it doesn't always have 192 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,800 Speaker 1: to be the items they purchased. It could be things 193 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 1: that you know, you've seen dumpster divers and that kind 194 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:08,200 Speaker 1: of thing. Um, But it often does show open adolescence. 195 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,200 Speaker 1: So we know some of the psychological roots of it. 196 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,440 Speaker 1: We know when it starts. We can We've started to 197 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:18,360 Speaker 1: learn from talking to Dr Beaton some of the characteristics 198 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 1: of this condition. But the thing I had to know 199 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,920 Speaker 1: was just, you know, why is this going on? Why 200 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,240 Speaker 1: you know, if if you're if you can't walk around 201 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 1: your house, why do you keep doing it? And so 202 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 1: that's what we asked Dr Beaten. The thing about hoarding 203 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:38,840 Speaker 1: disorder is that they are reinforced for both collecting and avoiding, 204 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: and so they get high off of collecting. I mean, 205 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 1: that's why it's very much like an addiction and UM. 206 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 1: And so they get a rush from collecting or looking 207 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: at the items that they collected. I mean, when I 208 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 1: worked with kept the price tags on everything that she 209 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:59,080 Speaker 1: collected because she got a great deal. So if she'd 210 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 1: want to look at them and say, look at how 211 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,880 Speaker 1: much I paid for that, I hardly paid anything. That's awesome. 212 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 1: And so you know, they get they get a high 213 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,839 Speaker 1: off of it, so that they're reinforced for that. And 214 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:15,400 Speaker 1: then they also get reinforced for avoiding because if it 215 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:20,120 Speaker 1: causes more anxiety to actually conquer the fear. And so 216 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,679 Speaker 1: if they just avoid it, then they keep them the 217 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: anxiety at bay and maybe if they go out shopping 218 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,120 Speaker 1: again for something or collecting however they're doing they're collecting, 219 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:33,600 Speaker 1: then that will keep the anxiety at bay. UM. And 220 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: it's with O. C D. Typically they're in the moment, 221 00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: they're having more distress over it. They're realizing, you know this, 222 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,760 Speaker 1: this is not good that I'm doing this, whereas the 223 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:48,640 Speaker 1: horridor when they're out shopping, they are enjoying every minute 224 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: of it, which is why it's more like an addiction 225 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 1: in that way than it is typical o CDP behavior. Now, 226 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 1: this is stuff no I've never told you, and we 227 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 1: can't can't do a subject without throwing all the little 228 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,640 Speaker 1: little gender fund in there. You're probably wondering why it 229 00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 1: took so long to get to this, But we had 230 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:10,560 Speaker 1: to know differences between male and female hoarders. And I 231 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,319 Speaker 1: bet you what Dr Beans about to saying might surprise 232 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: some of you. So take a listen. Well, actually men 233 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: are twice as likely to get hoarding disorder than women are, 234 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 1: which is kind of interesting. Yeah, um, and um, so 235 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: it's it's primarily men. However, certainly there are plenty of women, 236 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 1: and women tend to come forward more often for treatment 237 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 1: than men do, just in general, they're more likely to 238 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:44,320 Speaker 1: seek help. However, So in terms of differences, the it's 239 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:48,079 Speaker 1: basically in what their interests are, what they want to collect. 240 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 1: You see more men collecting tools and items that they 241 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 1: can use to um, to fix things or you know, 242 00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 1: scrap metal things like that. But but that I mean, certainly, 243 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 1: I'm sure there's a woman out there that's interested in 244 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:07,640 Speaker 1: as well. In terms of um, you know, do they 245 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 1: collect different things? Again, it's just the interests or how 246 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:14,839 Speaker 1: they collect it. I guess it's real question. There really 247 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:19,640 Speaker 1: isn't any difference. They everyone has their different reasons for collecting. 248 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,720 Speaker 1: So it might be security where they're trying to make 249 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,880 Speaker 1: sure that they have something on hand that they might 250 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 1: need in the future, or it could be attachment to 251 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,520 Speaker 1: a loved one. It's maybe somebody who has passed and 252 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 1: they are wanting to still remain connected to them or 253 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 1: a memory. So in terms of that, it might be sentimentality, 254 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: or it could be that they don't want to fill 255 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: up a landfill or contribute to pollution in any way. 256 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 1: So they take this responsibility of trying to collect items 257 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,160 Speaker 1: and recycle them in just the right way, and then 258 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:01,640 Speaker 1: they have difficulty actually following through with that. And that's 259 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:04,680 Speaker 1: one of the harmark hallmarks too, is the difficulty following 260 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,640 Speaker 1: through with their intentions. They've got these great intentions that 261 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,800 Speaker 1: they're going to use this to create that, or that 262 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 1: they amass all this certain amount of information that they 263 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,240 Speaker 1: may need in the future, that they can put it 264 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:20,960 Speaker 1: in some kind of um orderly fashion that they can 265 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,000 Speaker 1: access it, but the ability to actually follow through with 266 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,560 Speaker 1: that is difficult for them typically, So we know that 267 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: men and women tend to hoard differently. They have different 268 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:36,600 Speaker 1: kinds of pathologies when it comes to hoarding. But Molly 269 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 1: and I also wanted to know if Dr Beaton could 270 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 1: walk in and see the type of thing that someone 271 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: is hoarding. Say if they when she walks in and 272 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,240 Speaker 1: sees my frog shelf, right, when she walks and sees 273 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: your frog shelf, or if she walks into someone's house 274 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 1: and sees like rose and Rose and Rose of Oh, 275 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: I don't know, like life magazines and take out container 276 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 1: takeout containers. Yet, what what can you tell about one 277 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,560 Speaker 1: based on what he or she hoards? Does do those 278 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:11,520 Speaker 1: items have some clues into the disorder? I first thought 279 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,280 Speaker 1: you might think you could tell something about the collection, Like, 280 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,040 Speaker 1: for example, if you come in and you see a 281 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:21,480 Speaker 1: bunch of unused or used to go boxes that haven't 282 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 1: been thrown away, or a bunch of trash, you might think, oh, 283 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 1: you know, they have difficulty with you know, partying with anything, 284 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,560 Speaker 1: and they don't wanna you know, a lot of them 285 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,160 Speaker 1: really want to recycle, or they want to make sure 286 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 1: that the items are going to the right place. They 287 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 1: might think that they could be used someplace else or newspaper, 288 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:43,280 Speaker 1: and you might think that the reason is because they 289 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:48,600 Speaker 1: are not wanting to um, you know, create a greater 290 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: carbon footprint or something like that. However, it might actually 291 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 1: be that those newspapers that they've amassed are ones that 292 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 1: came in prior to two when their mother died, and 293 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:06,359 Speaker 1: so it was it's actually sentimentality. So the biggest thing 294 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,360 Speaker 1: is not making an assumption when you see the items 295 00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 1: that this is why they're there. You have to talk 296 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 1: to them and find out. So tell me these significance 297 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:17,159 Speaker 1: of these items, what's going on here. So at the 298 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,679 Speaker 1: beginning of the podcast, we knowed that the main difference 299 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:24,400 Speaker 1: between hoarding and collecting is a functional impairment. And then 300 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,159 Speaker 1: the thing that really drives this hoarding behavior is the 301 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 1: psychological reward that someone gets from going out and finding 302 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 1: the item that they want and then getting it into 303 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:39,400 Speaker 1: their possession, and it really sets up an addictive pattern 304 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:43,200 Speaker 1: in their in their brain, not unlike a drug addiction 305 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,280 Speaker 1: or an alcohol addiction. So when we were talking to 306 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:49,960 Speaker 1: Dr Beaton about how you treat this hoarding behavior, especially 307 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 1: when it gets to the extreme point that you see 308 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,439 Speaker 1: on Hoarding Buried Alive on t LC, you really do 309 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:59,280 Speaker 1: have to and approach it. You really do have the 310 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:02,280 Speaker 1: approach that you even like someone who say, has been 311 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:05,600 Speaker 1: an alcoholic for for years and years. But it actually 312 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,439 Speaker 1: reaches the point where some people will bottom out and 313 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:12,439 Speaker 1: realize the extent of the impairment that they're living with, 314 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 1: or that's the point when the family members step in 315 00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:18,600 Speaker 1: and say, hey, you, you can't live like this anymore. 316 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 1: So we asked Darr Beaten to talk with us a 317 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:25,120 Speaker 1: little bit about how hoarding does work like an addiction 318 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 1: and how someone can come out of that. I think 319 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,960 Speaker 1: that they do bottom out and they realize, you know, 320 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 1: I can't get to my refrigerator anymore, and my health 321 00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:38,040 Speaker 1: is suffering because I'm not eating well. But that's ideal 322 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:40,440 Speaker 1: if they realize it. Most of the time it has 323 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,280 Speaker 1: to do with their family or loved ones around them 324 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:46,920 Speaker 1: that are they can't take it anymore once they live 325 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,800 Speaker 1: with or they're so concerned and that they cut off 326 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,400 Speaker 1: their relationship with them, or just say I'm I'm I'm 327 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,359 Speaker 1: not going to stay married to you any longer. That 328 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,400 Speaker 1: usually is their bottom out. But if you think about addictions, says, 329 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,600 Speaker 1: usually their bottom out too is when the people ruand 330 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:05,360 Speaker 1: him stop enabling them, so that's often when you find 331 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:09,200 Speaker 1: them come into treatment. So if if this is like 332 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,760 Speaker 1: an addiction, you've got to ask the question, how do 333 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,800 Speaker 1: you overcome this addiction? Is it different than overcoming a 334 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 1: drug addiction? And you know, I think that hoarding has 335 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: been on TV quite a bit now that you may 336 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,720 Speaker 1: not even know how to do it without being on television. 337 00:19:23,359 --> 00:19:26,639 Speaker 1: So that's the question, how does someone overcome a hoarding addiction? 338 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 1: And what was really cool about this is Dr Beaton 339 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,000 Speaker 1: used a specific example of someone she's worked with to 340 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,400 Speaker 1: really illustrate it for us. So to take a listen 341 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,440 Speaker 1: to this. M One person I worked with for TLC 342 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 1: was a professional skateboarder. He had been sober for twenty 343 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:46,439 Speaker 1: two years UM from alcohol and drugs, and he we 344 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 1: The way I framed it with him was as an addiction, 345 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 1: so that he could treat this addiction, the hoarding addiction, 346 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: just as he did the other because he was so 347 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: successful in that and UM and a big component was 348 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 1: he he was afraid of being hurt again. He'd been 349 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,879 Speaker 1: hurt several times and it was the hoarding really started 350 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,480 Speaker 1: getting worse after his divorce and primarily after the loss 351 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:14,639 Speaker 1: of his mother. So in particular for him, what we 352 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 1: needed to do was not only look at as an 353 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,000 Speaker 1: as an addiction, so one day at a time was 354 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:26,440 Speaker 1: critical and trying to be able to figure out those 355 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 1: triggers when he wanted to to use so to speak. 356 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 1: And for him it was getting online and purchasing skateboard 357 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,120 Speaker 1: parts on online, and so he would get off work 358 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,800 Speaker 1: in the evening. He worked like a swing shift. He'd 359 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,359 Speaker 1: get off work and want to get online and start 360 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,720 Speaker 1: buying you know, skateboard wheels and trucks and all these 361 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 1: different things. I never even knew what they were, but 362 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:55,760 Speaker 1: I learned and he UM, And so what we had 363 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,960 Speaker 1: to do is, first of all, do you know like 364 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,680 Speaker 1: just you would with an addiction, one at a time. 365 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:06,240 Speaker 1: And then he worked the program of trying to start 366 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 1: organizing and cleaning out things just like he did. Um, 367 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:14,400 Speaker 1: he just like he did with his addiction. And so 368 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 1: UM in addition to that was relying on people and 369 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:24,119 Speaker 1: asking for help because as I mentioned earlier, it comes 370 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: back to really what we call a psychologist an attachment disorder. 371 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:34,879 Speaker 1: They are attached to belongings rather than people because people 372 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: have hurt them in one way or another. There was 373 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,680 Speaker 1: some kind of traumatic event and people have hurt them, 374 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,159 Speaker 1: so they end up with sort of a phobic, a 375 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 1: phobia of becoming close to individuals. So dealing up the 376 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 1: space and the time with belongings creates a distance from others, 377 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,600 Speaker 1: and so a lot of line is what they The 378 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,560 Speaker 1: healthiest thing they can do to fill up the void 379 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: is actually actually reach out for the support of individuals 380 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 1: of some even if it's just one person, and it 381 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,719 Speaker 1: might be the therapist, it might be the organizer, somebody 382 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: that they can have a healthy attachment with, is the 383 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,240 Speaker 1: best thing that they can do to actually heal the 384 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 1: original wound. But just like any addiction, Dr Beaton stress 385 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,920 Speaker 1: the fact that it's critical to treat recovery from hoarding 386 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 1: as a step by step process. It's not an overnight switch. 387 00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,160 Speaker 1: You can't just walk in to someone's house. I can 388 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:34,520 Speaker 1: just walk in, burn all of my mother's beanie babies 389 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:37,359 Speaker 1: and tell her to have a nice day and feel 390 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,760 Speaker 1: pat myself on the back for ridding her of that 391 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:45,359 Speaker 1: of that burden. No, that's only going to perpetuate the cycle. 392 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,040 Speaker 1: So Dr Beaton cause a real rift in your relationship, 393 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:53,000 Speaker 1: and it would, yes, Uh So Dr Beaton went over 394 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:58,560 Speaker 1: that that the time factor that's involved with overcoming hoarding behavior. 395 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,920 Speaker 1: So it's really critical to always let the person make 396 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:07,040 Speaker 1: the decision about their belongings. That you never want to 397 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 1: take something away from somebody and say this has got 398 00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,960 Speaker 1: to go, because first of all, that's gonna you're gonna 399 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,159 Speaker 1: lose trust and the person is not gonna want to 400 00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:18,320 Speaker 1: let you help them anymore. They're going to feel violated 401 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:23,600 Speaker 1: and re traumatized from whatever their loss was originally. And 402 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 1: um So helping them you know, kind of process through 403 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,400 Speaker 1: it because obviously if they do have some processing issues, 404 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,840 Speaker 1: then they need some help learning how to process. That's 405 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,280 Speaker 1: one of the key things is I want to teach 406 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 1: them how to do it. I don't want to do 407 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 1: it for them. And so you know, helping them sort 408 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 1: through How often do you use this Do you think 409 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 1: you'll actually be able to um to do this intended 410 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:58,280 Speaker 1: project with this item that you want to do? You know, 411 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,159 Speaker 1: what's the evidence that you've actually done these things before 412 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 1: you actually follow through with them? When was the last 413 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 1: time you did did follow through with it? You know, 414 00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,239 Speaker 1: so you kind of help them learn to process it, 415 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,200 Speaker 1: like it depends on the border, but you give them 416 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,199 Speaker 1: like a set of questions they can ask themselves when 417 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 1: they're looking at an item, so that they can kind 418 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 1: of see, um, you know, is this something I really 419 00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 1: need even if it's a memory? Um? Is she like? 420 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: You know when I worked with Judy Um the that 421 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 1: was for season one and um, she had a lot 422 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,840 Speaker 1: of items that were from her boyfriend who died in 423 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:38,000 Speaker 1: her house, right in front of her, and they were 424 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:41,159 Speaker 1: like old flowers he had given her, you know, a 425 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,919 Speaker 1: dozen roses. What we did was we took pictures of 426 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,399 Speaker 1: things so that way she could keep pictures and she 427 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,280 Speaker 1: didn't have to keep the actual item because it was 428 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 1: something it was mortant too, So there's different ways to 429 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,440 Speaker 1: be creative about being able to keep the memory without 430 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,840 Speaker 1: having to keep the item. Ideally, you want them to 431 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,280 Speaker 1: be able to keep it in their mind and know 432 00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,040 Speaker 1: that it's always there if they want to access it, 433 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 1: But especially in the beginning, they're not sure that they 434 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:06,240 Speaker 1: can actually do that. And you know, I think again, 435 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,439 Speaker 1: when when you see hoarding on television so much, on 436 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,280 Speaker 1: shows like Hoarding Buried Alive, you do think that it's 437 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,080 Speaker 1: something that can be wrapped up in thirty minutes or 438 00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 1: an hour, and so it's important to remember that, you know, 439 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:20,160 Speaker 1: it is a time consuming process. It's not an overnight thing. 440 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,439 Speaker 1: But but you know, why are there's so many shows 441 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:26,280 Speaker 1: about this right now? Like why do we think this 442 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 1: is something that's getting wrapped up in thirty minutes or 443 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,560 Speaker 1: an hour? And why do we want to watch this 444 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,640 Speaker 1: try to be wrapped up? And and so we asked, 445 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,720 Speaker 1: just we asked Dr Beaton, you know how this um 446 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,560 Speaker 1: new obsession with hoarding has come about? And here's what 447 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:41,320 Speaker 1: she had to say. I think it's primarily the media, 448 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,800 Speaker 1: and that now that it's out and people are learning 449 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:47,440 Speaker 1: about it, all of a sudden, people are realizing this 450 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:52,639 Speaker 1: is what is going on with Uncle, Harry or mom 451 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,600 Speaker 1: or whoever it may be. And and so that's why 452 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,439 Speaker 1: it's gotten such attention. Now. On the one hand, I 453 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:04,160 Speaker 1: could see a lot of positives with highlighting hoarding behavior 454 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,880 Speaker 1: on television. Dr Beaton was saying that since people are 455 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:11,639 Speaker 1: seeing it on TV, they're starting to recognize patterns with 456 00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:15,119 Speaker 1: them themselves or perhaps within a loved one. But on 457 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 1: the flip side of that, with all of the media exposure, 458 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,959 Speaker 1: we wanted to know what kind of misconceptions about hoarding 459 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:26,399 Speaker 1: and specifically recovery from hoarding might have arisen as a 460 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:31,199 Speaker 1: result of it being portrayed on television and being covered 461 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 1: so much now in the media. And so this is 462 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:38,120 Speaker 1: what Dr Beaton had to say about that. One thing 463 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 1: I love about working with CLC is they've been really 464 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 1: phenomenal about uh the individual and taking care of them 465 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,080 Speaker 1: and whatever's best for them versus what's going to be 466 00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 1: great for TV. And so they've gone really slowly with 467 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,200 Speaker 1: the client because I think that's one of the misconceptions 468 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:57,960 Speaker 1: is that you can go in and clean up a 469 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,200 Speaker 1: house in a couple of days and the person can 470 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 1: start over and everything will be fine, and what um 471 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,800 Speaker 1: what you find is that people will end up being 472 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:14,000 Speaker 1: traumatized by that. It's like another loss for them. And 473 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: the idea of being able to slow it down and 474 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,640 Speaker 1: realize this is really a marathon, not a sprint. It's 475 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:24,080 Speaker 1: going to be a lifelong journey, just like an addiction, 476 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,040 Speaker 1: where you have to take one day at a time 477 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,680 Speaker 1: if you're gonna have backslides, and you have to keep 478 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,879 Speaker 1: going forward, and that it's really something that they need 479 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:35,280 Speaker 1: to work with their entire lives typically because they're gonna 480 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:38,480 Speaker 1: have a propensity to want to collect again, and they're 481 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,720 Speaker 1: gonna want to keep things and not throw them away. 482 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:46,439 Speaker 1: So anyhow, um, I think the primary misconception is that 483 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 1: you can go in and just clean up a house 484 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,160 Speaker 1: and the person is going to be okay, and it's 485 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,440 Speaker 1: it's all over and bilblot their lives happily ever after. 486 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,840 Speaker 1: That's just not the way it works. It's really really slow, 487 00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,720 Speaker 1: and I really appreciate Deals the way they've taken time 488 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,800 Speaker 1: with clients. If they want to bring somebody in to 489 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,879 Speaker 1: do like a big clean out, it's typically just you know, 490 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,360 Speaker 1: it's over a period of a couple of months for starters, 491 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,280 Speaker 1: it's not a weekend. Now. Again, the way we came 492 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 1: into contact with Dr Beaton is because you know, we 493 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:18,600 Speaker 1: work for Discovery Communications and uh, we have this association 494 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,360 Speaker 1: with TLC and the show holding Buried Alive. But what's 495 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:24,080 Speaker 1: really cool if we made two to our own sister 496 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 1: channel's horn for a little bit, is that Dr Beaton 497 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:29,679 Speaker 1: claims that TLC is so thrilled with follow up therapy 498 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,440 Speaker 1: and care for the people who have been profiled on 499 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:33,920 Speaker 1: the show, which I think is is really amazing because 500 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,000 Speaker 1: you do have to wonder on any reality show what 501 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: happens after the cameras stop rolling, and uh, she really 502 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 1: appreciated the fact that she gets stored with these people 503 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,360 Speaker 1: for for you know, a lot of time. You know, 504 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,360 Speaker 1: it's not like she sees them for one show and 505 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 1: they're gone. And so as a result, there's some really 506 00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 1: cool success stories, and she's going to share one with 507 00:28:54,280 --> 00:28:57,960 Speaker 1: us right now. I loved working with Benny out in 508 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:01,400 Speaker 1: in Oakland. Um. He I mean, his house was the 509 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 1: worst I've ever seen and he's got it about halfway 510 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:08,360 Speaker 1: cleared out. And to me, that's huge. Um. And the 511 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:11,400 Speaker 1: biggest thing I love about I mean, I love all 512 00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:14,440 Speaker 1: I've really really cared about all the hoarders I've worked with. 513 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 1: But the where I see Ben he's made a great 514 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:21,880 Speaker 1: success is that he he has not acquired. He stopped 515 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:25,520 Speaker 1: acquiring since we started working with him. Actually the months 516 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:29,240 Speaker 1: before we actually showed up the film, he he started 517 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 1: really working on not acquiring. He decided I gotta start now, 518 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 1: and so he's only bought one hat in the last 519 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:39,960 Speaker 1: like six months. And he actually he's you know, he's 520 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,800 Speaker 1: actually put himself in the situation, in the high risk situation, 521 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,200 Speaker 1: if you will, like we talk about with addicts where 522 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,280 Speaker 1: he actually goes into the discount stores or the flea 523 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,600 Speaker 1: markets and he puts himself in the situation, kind of 524 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:57,200 Speaker 1: plays around with things. He loves clothing, and um, that's 525 00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,280 Speaker 1: again where you can't stereotype who collects what, because he 526 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 1: collects more clothing than I've seen any woman ever click 527 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,960 Speaker 1: and um, you know, and he'll play around with things 528 00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,160 Speaker 1: and try him on and he he forced himself to say, 529 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,080 Speaker 1: that's all very nice, and I'm walking out now, and 530 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 1: so I think that's a huge success. And he continues 531 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:17,160 Speaker 1: to chip away at it. It's just gonna take some 532 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 1: time because that house is full, and you know, he's 533 00:30:20,960 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 1: really made an excellent effort, and I feel really positive 534 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:29,640 Speaker 1: about where he's going. So clearly it's people are watching 535 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:34,680 Speaker 1: the show. They might be recognizing some hoarding patterns, like 536 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,240 Speaker 1: we said, in their lives or loved one's life and perhaps, 537 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,000 Speaker 1: you know, Molly listeners out there right now might be 538 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 1: listening to what Dr Beaton has to say and might 539 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:48,840 Speaker 1: be thinking, maybe maybe I know someone that's going on. 540 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,040 Speaker 1: So to close things out, we wanted to get some 541 00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:56,160 Speaker 1: final advice from Dr Beaten on what the first steps 542 00:30:56,280 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 1: on what someone should do if they think that they're 543 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 1: exhibiting hoarding behavior, or if they see that kind of 544 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 1: behavior and someone else. Because Dr Beaton's ultimate goal for 545 00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:10,240 Speaker 1: participating with Hoarding Baried Alive on t l C is 546 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:15,640 Speaker 1: to provide an educational outlet and educational resource for people 547 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:19,560 Speaker 1: out there's to help more people recover from hoarding behavior. 548 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,600 Speaker 1: So from Dr Beaton, here's what you should do. Here's 549 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 1: your takeaway message about UM what to do if you 550 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:30,080 Speaker 1: think that you might be struggling with hoarding behavior. If 551 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 1: you find a family member is exhibiting hoarding that it's 552 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 1: really critical to be your family member or friend it's 553 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 1: exhibiting hoarding and you want to work with them or 554 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,000 Speaker 1: you know, people ask me all the time what should 555 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 1: I do? The first thing is be patient UM, and 556 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:49,560 Speaker 1: then don't take the person's behavior personally. This is about them. 557 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 1: It's not about the fact that they don't care about 558 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:55,200 Speaker 1: you enough that they are cluttering up the kitchen so 559 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,800 Speaker 1: much that you can't get to the food. It's it's 560 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 1: not a personal thing. And UM. Also to build trust 561 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,000 Speaker 1: with them so you can, like I said earlier, you 562 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,720 Speaker 1: never want to take something away from somebody without their permission. 563 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 1: You want them to make the decision to actually put 564 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,360 Speaker 1: it in the recycle ban UM, and then you don't 565 00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:15,960 Speaker 1: want to argue with them. Otherwise if you start arguing 566 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 1: with them, they'll just dig their hills in deeper. You 567 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:23,960 Speaker 1: want to UM, as I said earlier too, you want 568 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:28,000 Speaker 1: to provide reflection. So is this item really does it 569 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 1: fit into your long term goals? We always want to 570 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,680 Speaker 1: find out what their goals are. So if their goals are, 571 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,840 Speaker 1: you know, two people actually have a bedroom that they 572 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:39,400 Speaker 1: can go in and actually sleep in. Then if they 573 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:45,120 Speaker 1: want to keep sweaters, is this going to be interfere 574 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,320 Speaker 1: with your goal to have all these sweaters? And UM, 575 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 1: So you're trying to keep them focused on the goal, 576 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:54,160 Speaker 1: bring them back to that and UM provide reflection to 577 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,880 Speaker 1: them gently pointing out that this current course of action 578 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:02,520 Speaker 1: is not consistent with your overall goal and UM and 579 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:05,120 Speaker 1: also encourage the person to get help from a qualified professional. 580 00:33:05,320 --> 00:33:09,240 Speaker 1: So often people want to try to take it into 581 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,800 Speaker 1: their own hands and get the family to just come 582 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:15,120 Speaker 1: in and clean everything out, and you definitely it's it's 583 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,200 Speaker 1: worth at least making a consultation with the professional. What's 584 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 1: the best way to go about it? Sometimes they also 585 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,200 Speaker 1: need an intervention, just like with an addiction, where the 586 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,640 Speaker 1: family needs to sit around and and go through the 587 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:29,480 Speaker 1: reasons why they're concerned, because often they don't have a 588 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:32,400 Speaker 1: lot of insight about it and they don't realize how 589 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:36,760 Speaker 1: bad it's become. It's such a gradual disorder for the 590 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:40,240 Speaker 1: most part that they don't realize that this is really 591 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:45,280 Speaker 1: impairing their functioning. And also to be prepared for relapses 592 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 1: that they are going to start collecting again at some point. 593 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,840 Speaker 1: It's just part that's part of addiction treatment too, is 594 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,400 Speaker 1: relapse is part of the treatment. It's part of the 595 00:33:56,400 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 1: course of treatment. You just keeping one step, you know, 596 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,400 Speaker 1: two steps forward, one step back, three steps forward, two 597 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:05,560 Speaker 1: steps back, as long as you continue to go forward. 598 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,479 Speaker 1: So that was our conversation with Dr Beaton again. She's 599 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,520 Speaker 1: on hoarding Barry to Live, which is on t LC, 600 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,480 Speaker 1: and we hope it was helpful. We hope that if 601 00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:17,200 Speaker 1: you don't want to clean up your closet right now, 602 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:19,839 Speaker 1: which I did after talking to her, you at least 603 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,560 Speaker 1: took something away from it. We'd love to hear from 604 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,719 Speaker 1: you guys about um hoarding behaviors. You've exhibit it. They've 605 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,719 Speaker 1: seen other people exhibit. Uh, you know what role is 606 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,600 Speaker 1: holding play on play in your life? All of that 607 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:34,640 Speaker 1: we want to know. We we hoard your emails, you will, 608 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 1: but not in an unhealthy way. Well, here is one 609 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,640 Speaker 1: of those emails only that we are speaking of. And 610 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:47,080 Speaker 1: this is in response to our episode on why girls 611 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:51,680 Speaker 1: Just Love horses? And this is from Becky. She writes, 612 00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,359 Speaker 1: I was never a horse girl. I've always been an 613 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,840 Speaker 1: animal lover, but I was never particularly drawn to horses 614 00:34:56,920 --> 00:35:00,360 Speaker 1: or their environment. But I recently came up with eerie 615 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,200 Speaker 1: that girls tend to fall into one of two categories, 616 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:08,200 Speaker 1: horse girls or dolphin girls. I was a dolphin girl. 617 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:09,920 Speaker 1: My dream as a ten year old was to be 618 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,840 Speaker 1: the first person to learn the entire dolphin language. I 619 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:14,840 Speaker 1: wanted to bridge the two worlds of the sea in 620 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,520 Speaker 1: the land and create a harmony and a new understanding 621 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 1: between people and sea mammals. I also felt that because 622 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,359 Speaker 1: of dolphins intelligence, I might be able to form a 623 00:35:23,400 --> 00:35:26,520 Speaker 1: meaningful relationship with a dolphin, and maybe even find a 624 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,239 Speaker 1: dolphin who would be my bff. It seems to me 625 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,480 Speaker 1: that in some ways my attraction to dolphins was probably 626 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:34,080 Speaker 1: similar to some girls attraction to horses. I wanted to 627 00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:36,319 Speaker 1: ride dolphins through the open ocean and get that sense 628 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,640 Speaker 1: of speed and freedom that comes from a creature that 629 00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:42,240 Speaker 1: is naturally so much faster and freer than myself. Maybe 630 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:46,719 Speaker 1: it's just a question of environments. Good question, Becky, there's 631 00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:48,840 Speaker 1: something to you that. Yeah, I mean, what else is on? 632 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:53,680 Speaker 1: Lisa Frank Trapper keepers, unicorns and dolphins? So true, so true? 633 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,560 Speaker 1: So again. Our email is mom Stuff at how stuff 634 00:35:56,600 --> 00:36:00,480 Speaker 1: works dot com and Molly, do you have another one? Okay? 635 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 1: I thought that you were prepping you helping up mom 636 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:06,040 Speaker 1: summit how stuff works dot com And as always, you 637 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,959 Speaker 1: can head over to Facebook and like us over there, 638 00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 1: follow us on Twitter at mom Stuff podcast, and check 639 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,480 Speaker 1: out our blog during the week as well. It's stuff 640 00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,080 Speaker 1: Mom Never told you, and you can find it at 641 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:24,719 Speaker 1: how stuff works dot com for more on this and 642 00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:27,080 Speaker 1: thousands of other topics. VI is it how stuff works 643 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,759 Speaker 1: dot com. To learn more about the podcast, click on 644 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,719 Speaker 1: the podcast icon in the upper right corner of our homepage. 645 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,200 Speaker 1: The how Stuff Works iPhone app has arrived. Download it 646 00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:43,839 Speaker 1: today on iTunes. Brought to you by the reinvented two 647 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,439 Speaker 1: thousand twelve Camray. It's ready, are you