WEBVTT - Back To School 0:00:00.680 --> 0:00:05.360 This week on Good Mom's Bad Choices, I do have 0:00:05.440 --> 0:00:08.039 shit to learn about parenting. I do have shit to 0:00:08.080 --> 0:00:10.280 learn about leading my daughter in the right way, in 0:00:10.320 --> 0:00:11.440 the most appropriate way. 0:00:11.840 --> 0:00:14.880 Luna told me today my back broke out. I must 0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:17.320 have leaned up against something. She's like, must be allergic 0:00:17.400 --> 0:00:19.400 to the fabric. I was like, why does she know 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:22.000 these combination of words? 0:00:26.400 --> 0:00:26.720 This week? 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:40.440 This week, welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:42.000 Erica and I'm Nila. 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:49.680 And it is September, y'all, Happy September. Happy September, September one. 0:00:49.920 --> 0:00:52.360 To be exact, it's actually the first of September. 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:52.560 Wow. 0:00:52.800 --> 0:00:58.560 Wow. This month's theme is back to School September. Back 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:02.960 to school September because it just got to learn back 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:05.040 to school and we ain't talking about our kids. Wait, 0:01:05.080 --> 0:01:07.400 do you remember that song? Did you ever hear that song? 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:09.720 I'm Gonna read, I'm gonna read, I'm read, I'm gonna read, 0:01:09.760 --> 0:01:11.959 I'm no. I was like, oh my god, it was 0:01:11.959 --> 0:01:14.840 like the best song, like club gay song ever. Okay, well, 0:01:14.880 --> 0:01:17.040 but you know you know I'm gonna read. I'm wait. 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:19.520 We gotta outro the song with that this episode, with that, 0:01:19.560 --> 0:01:22.399 you're really getting really spicy right now. I'm gonna read 0:01:22.400 --> 0:01:24.200 I'm an read. I'm read. Wow. 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:26.639 For me being a former lesbian that was highly into 0:01:26.680 --> 0:01:29.000 the gay community, I don't recall that I'm gonna read 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:29.679 I'm a read song. 0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:32.600 Your musical taste wasn't up to part. That's why I was. 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:35.880 I was out. I was with the house, the house 0:01:35.959 --> 0:01:38.480 druggy gays. Maybe you were just with the lesbians. I 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:39.000 know I was. 0:01:39.440 --> 0:01:41.080 I was with the male gaze. No, I was with 0:01:41.160 --> 0:01:43.160 the male gates and the lesbians. But I was in 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:44.200 the dirty South. 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:50.400 Uh. I was dropped going to Ronda and like weird 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:52.560 warehouse parties. I was in a warehouse, but it was 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:55.800 very ratchet. This is this is why ratchet I was doing. 0:01:56.480 --> 0:01:58.760 I prefer the ratchet gays. I'm not gonna lie. 0:02:00.480 --> 0:02:02.480 In fact, when I moved back to LA and tried 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:05.120 to be gay again, I was like it would confirm 0:02:05.160 --> 0:02:05.960 that I was gonna be straight. 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:10.400 I hate It's like, this is not my thing anyway. 0:02:12.760 --> 0:02:16.360 After a flashback into our former kind of gay lives. 0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:22.120 Yes, this month, we wanted to focus on all the 0:02:22.120 --> 0:02:25.280 things we don't know. There's a lot of those things. 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:27.880 I know you guys think we're geniuses. I know, I know. 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:34.200 Surprise now you think that we are bona fide PhD holders, 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:39.280 But surprise, I don't know shit. IM just kidding. I 0:02:39.280 --> 0:02:40.800 know a lot, but got a lot more to learn. 0:02:40.880 --> 0:02:49.280 I mean, we are experts in threesomes, shut up, cannabis 0:02:49.520 --> 0:02:53.320 and mushrooms and three way kisses. 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:57.680 But other than that, we do have some learning to do. 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:04.040 We are actually recording in Costa Rica right now. Still 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:07.840 well not still, but yes, we're in Costa Rica. 0:03:08.240 --> 0:03:11.560 It's actually our final night. We only have hours until 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:14.160 we leave. Yeah, we're leaving at five thirty in the 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:18.239 morning and it is nine fifty six pm. This feels 0:03:18.320 --> 0:03:20.919 like the old times where we would record like at 0:03:20.960 --> 0:03:25.120 eleven pm and release it at seven am and be 0:03:25.240 --> 0:03:27.400 up until two trying to figure it out. 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:29.440 Trying to figure out why the audio won't sync to 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:32.839 the video all that bullshit it does. 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:35.520 And also I don't know something about it being feeling 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:38.600 that way and it being late at night, even though 0:03:38.600 --> 0:03:41.000 it's not true, it makes me feel like less people 0:03:41.040 --> 0:03:43.400 are going to hear it, like it's more of a secret. 0:03:45.440 --> 0:03:48.960 No, those days are done, I know, I know. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:54.320 Unfortunately, do you have any affirmations for us this evening 0:03:57.200 --> 0:04:01.640 or morning or afternoon, wherever you're catching this. My affirmation 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:10.560 for this week is I am always a student of life. 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:17.440 I am always a student of life. Oh boy, isn't 0:04:17.480 --> 0:04:22.680 that shit true. We've been traveling for ten days with 0:04:22.720 --> 0:04:27.520 our children, and obviously we've traveled with our children before, 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:30.560 but I feel like this time is a little bit 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:33.760 different because I don't know, it's been a long trip 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:37.360 and they're like a little bit older now, so like 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:42.640 I'm realizing that more. The things that they say, their memories, 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:46.440 the words that they use, it's like, oh shit, this 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:50.040 is like a real little human and it's like a 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:54.080 really apparent how different we all are. 0:04:56.839 --> 0:05:00.280 Well because their personality, Yeah, their personalities are really shining through, 0:05:00.520 --> 0:05:03.440 and some of the things that they're like working through 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:10.440 are shining through. And it's yeah, it's really it's blowing 0:05:10.480 --> 0:05:13.400 my mind, to be honest, it really really is. It's 0:05:13.480 --> 0:05:18.000 like beautiful, but also it's scary. I'm like, damn, like, 0:05:18.120 --> 0:05:23.000 is this like a preface to teenage years? Like preteen years? 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:25.920 Just like how they act. Like Luna told me today, 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:28.960 my back broke out. I must have leaned up against something. 0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:31.960 She's like, must be allergic to the fabric. I was like, 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:38.159 why does she know these combination of words? Who? Who 0:05:38.200 --> 0:05:40.479 are you? Wow? 0:05:40.520 --> 0:05:45.080 You're so smart. You're probably right. Yeah, but it's been 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:49.440 really challenging. It's been beautiful and blissful and like such 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:52.440 a beautiful trip to say, like last time we were here, 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:54.240 we're like, we're going to bring our kids back, and 0:05:54.279 --> 0:05:55.960 then we bring them back and it's like we did 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:59.120 that shit. But it has been challenging. Like I have 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:03.920 very shortations. Kids make a lot of noise, a lot 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:09.839 of unnecessary loud noises, and I'm really working through that's 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:13.000 what you're learning. I'm learning like children make noise. It's 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:18.839 not their fault. But it has been challenging. I've learned 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:20.640 a lot on this strip. And you know what, I 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:24.480 don't know. There's something about this September twenty twenty one 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:30.039 that feels like something is shifting. Ever since that, ever 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:33.960 since that lasts that moon and the Lionsgate Moon, Like 0:06:34.000 --> 0:06:37.080 I felt the shift there, but like I really feel 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:40.440 the shift now. I really feel like this next six 0:06:40.520 --> 0:06:44.120 months I have to be dedicated to. 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:47.839 Committing to the change that I say I'm going to make. 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:52.359 And it just feels I feel really called to do 0:06:52.440 --> 0:06:53.440 that in a lot of ways. 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:54.920 We're here like. 0:06:57.200 --> 0:07:01.480 Making our plans for our retreat in February, finalizing shit, 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:08.039 and as we're curating this beautiful experience, I'm just like, Wow, 0:07:08.080 --> 0:07:09.279 this is responsibility. 0:07:09.480 --> 0:07:09.720 You know. 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:14.400 We're like embarking on this journey of wellness. And obviously 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:17.600 we keep a rail every week and that's our thing. 0:07:17.800 --> 0:07:22.080 But it's just I'm noticing there's a lot of work 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:24.320 that I have to do on myself, and even if 0:07:24.360 --> 0:07:28.200 it doesn't feel great, I have to do it. Like 0:07:29.480 --> 0:07:32.080 I don't know, before I left, I was in like 0:07:33.360 --> 0:07:38.280 a mini relationship that I didn't exactly plan for, and 0:07:38.600 --> 0:07:43.240 I also really knew that it probably wasn't the relationship 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:47.480 for me. There were some red flags very early on 0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:51.480 that we were very different people. But despite all of that, 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:55.760 I went towards the red light because my favorite color 0:07:55.840 --> 0:08:02.960 is red. And the night of the Lions Gate, I 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:07.200 made a I was doing like a ritual in the 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:11.880 bathtub with Luna, and I literally asked for the things 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:15.160 that no longer served me to be removed. And literally, 0:08:15.160 --> 0:08:16.960 while I was in the bathtub, this person like looked 0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:19.920 through my phone and like found some shit that really 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:22.240 wasn't some shit, And literally I have not talked to 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:23.200 him since. 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:28.680 The universe is like and cut scene. It's not funny, 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.960 I was, I'm not laughing, but I'm just saying. The 0:08:32.040 --> 0:08:35.160 universe said like, I know you asked for this and 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:37.560 you shall receive. Bitch, I know, I know. 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:43.120 And I was like it was jarring, but also like god, damn, universe, bitch, relax, 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:47.720 give me atten ding notice. But I've been reflecting on 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:52.000 that since I've been here because a literally, as I 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:55.280 started to like this person in my mind, I was like, 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:57.640 this is a test. I told myself, like, this may 0:08:57.679 --> 0:08:59.400 be a test because this person is kind of like 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:03.959 telling you he's probably not the person for you because 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:05.359 we just had a lot of differences. 0:09:05.440 --> 0:09:11.839 And yeah, just I don't know how to say, you're 0:09:11.840 --> 0:09:12.920 ready to learn your lesson. 0:09:13.120 --> 0:09:15.840 Essentially, essentially, I'm ready to learn my lessons and like 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:21.280 listen to my intuition when I know that my intuition 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:25.800 is correct, and then maybe, just maybe I'll prevent myself 0:09:25.800 --> 0:09:30.120 from learning these difficult lessons in advance instead of eight 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:34.760 months later and being sad in Costa Rica because he 0:09:34.840 --> 0:09:38.439 hasn't called me. It's sad a little bit, you don't 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:39.240 ever say anything. 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:41.360 I'm sad. I'm a cancer. 0:09:41.400 --> 0:09:46.560 I'm sad inside alone. 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:49.800 I'm sorry, friend, I know, I mean, I know we've 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:51.840 talked about it, but I didn't realize. I mean, obviously, 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:54.800 I know it's probably on your mind, but you haven't 0:09:54.840 --> 0:09:58.199 mentioned it much. No, I mean because I know. Yeah. 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:00.760 So my lesson even before I left, is that I 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:05.559 need to listen to my intuition and just my overall 0:10:06.240 --> 0:10:09.719 attachment to things that sometimes don't feel great but only 0:10:09.840 --> 0:10:15.120 let maybe feel somewhat good, and just my attachment to 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:18.920 things that distract me instead of focusing on myself and 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:23.360 doing the work to commit to myself so that in 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:25.720 the future, when things come up that are probably don't 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:29.440 serve me, it's easy to eliminate them because I have 0:10:29.559 --> 0:10:31.280 done the work and I know that, Hey, I don't 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:32.920 deserve that, that's unnecessary. 0:10:32.960 --> 0:10:34.920 I don't need that. So I'm good on you and 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:36.240 without any. 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:46.480 Residual feelings about whatever it is. Also, since we've been here, 0:10:46.600 --> 0:10:52.400 we are finding healers and we've been doing some sessions, 0:10:52.520 --> 0:11:00.479 some intuitive sessions, some natal chart sessions, a lot of sessions, 0:11:01.080 --> 0:11:04.880 and they've provided some insight on myself and so I'm 0:11:05.000 --> 0:11:07.800 committing to the next six months of committing to myself. 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:13.680 I'm signing up for a Tantra workshop to help channel 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:14.840 some of my energies. 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:17.840 That's so cool. I'm excited. I want I want to 0:11:17.840 --> 0:11:18.840 do that at some point too. 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:21.200 Yeah, I just I feel like this is a good 0:11:21.200 --> 0:11:25.600 time to focus on myself. And I'm telling you and 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:28.440 everyone else listening so that I could actually do the shit. 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:33.559 And in gids are our accountability partners. Literally, I mean 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:36.040 it's the truth. I think a lot of a lot 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:38.360 of the things that I've done and we've done together 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:42.199 on this podcast. And even like I just launched a 0:11:42.679 --> 0:11:47.880 I launched a wellness challenge today. Actually it starts today 0:11:47.880 --> 0:11:51.000 and I post about it on Instagram, a thirty day challenge. 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:54.160 I'm really doing it because you guys make like it's 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:57.559 like the best tribe ever to just hold each other accountable. 0:11:57.640 --> 0:11:59.600 Like if you guys are posting pictures, I want to 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.160 come in to keep doing it, even if I'm lying 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:05.240 sometimes and I ate that you know, whole kind of 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:09.840 Ben and Jerry's half baked ice cream, but that might happen. 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:14.560 But yeah, I mean, this is the best place. I'm 0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:17.680 so grateful for like us having the space to for 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:21.840 people to hold us accountable and hold ourselves accountable, because 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:24.120 we're saying things on this mic every week and we're like, 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:27.480 you know, or every year, every year or every year. 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:30.920 I've literally said this every year, but this time I'm serious. 0:12:32.800 --> 0:12:35.680 If I'm in a deep relationship, eight weeks from now, 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:39.640 somebody slap me. If you see me in public holding hands, 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:42.040 I give you all the permission. 0:12:44.280 --> 0:12:48.080 Well, I think that going back to school, I mean, 0:12:48.280 --> 0:12:54.760 is it's such an interesting thing because obviously our kids 0:12:54.760 --> 0:12:57.040 are also going back to school, and I've been thinking 0:12:57.120 --> 0:13:00.440 about that too, like that at some point we decide 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:04.160 that our education kind of ends, I think because obviously 0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:08.440 the education system is not great all the time. People 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:12.640 are put in this system and expected to all learn 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.640 the same way, which is fucking ridiculous. And that's why 0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:19.200 so many people end up hating school and not really 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:22.880 tapping into, like what their real purpose is because school 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:24.520 doesn't really teach you that. It just teaches you a 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:28.480 bunch of just I don't even know general shit that 0:13:28.840 --> 0:13:33.880 really I didn't even need to know. But the idea 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:36.320 of being an adult and being able to tap into 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:38.680 yourself and figure out what it is that you're interested in, 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:40.679 what is that you want to work on, you know, 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:43.080 if you want to take a tantric class, if you 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:47.360 want to, you know, go back. My shout out to 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:50.240 my girl Ashley. She just got into like Harvard Online. 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:52.880 She's about to take a course and going back to 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:55.800 the school online. Like, there's just so many ways to 0:13:55.880 --> 0:14:01.480 kind of explore what your interests are as an adult, 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:04.920 and I think it's really important not only for you know, 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:11.000 your own well being, but also just for your kids. 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:14.240 For I mean for us. It's like this retreat has 0:14:14.280 --> 0:14:17.319 really inspired me too, and meeting so many people here 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:20.520 that have I mean, being in Costa Rica, people are quiet, 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:25.360 they have time to kind of really decide what fulfills them, 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:30.480 you know, and it's like, I think being here again 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:33.000 always brings me that back to that. That's why I 0:14:33.000 --> 0:14:33.880 love this place so much. 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.160 It is a very magical place and it is a 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:41.040 place of like quietness and expansion. I feel like we've 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:42.920 met a lot of people who have tapped into their 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:46.560 natural abilities, and in some ways it kind of gives 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:49.600 us permission to do the same, you know, Like what 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:51.040 am I good at? What do I want to learn 0:14:51.080 --> 0:14:55.080 like what naturally are my my powers? You know? And 0:14:55.400 --> 0:14:58.200 obviously we have this brand and we do we talk 0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:00.840 a lot, but I don't think we even ourselves get 0:15:01.160 --> 0:15:04.320 give ourselves enough credit in the fact that we are 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:10.240 good at leading, we're good at being unapologetic sometimes, and 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:13.640 being here is kind of like it's reassured me to 0:15:14.040 --> 0:15:17.840 kind of sit back in myself and like reflect truly 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:22.440 on my intentions with people, in relationships, as a parent, 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:27.240 with my daughter, and really to myself, and like in 0:15:27.280 --> 0:15:30.880 every little way, like in the flings that I have 0:15:31.200 --> 0:15:35.120 in the just the friendships my words. I feel like 0:15:35.200 --> 0:15:38.600 people here like really intentional about their words, Like I 0:15:38.600 --> 0:15:41.360 don't feel like doing that, and no, and like people 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:42.680 are comfortable. 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:44.360 Saying no and also saying yes. 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:46.760 And even I think even for you and I we've 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.280 had obviously we're best friends and we talk about a 0:15:49.280 --> 0:15:51.280 lot of stuff. But I feel like even in this 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:55.880 trip traveling with our children, and one thing about parents 0:15:55.960 --> 0:15:58.040 is we're going to be sensitive is fuck about our 0:15:58.080 --> 0:16:01.920 parenting about our children. That's not something you really discuss about, 0:16:01.960 --> 0:16:04.520 you know, you have discussions about. But I think even 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:08.000 we've been vulnerable more in a space to be like Wow, 0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:11.160 like this is I'm scared of this in my parenting. 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:11.920 Do you notice this? 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:14.640 And like, yeah, I do, And this is triggering because 0:16:14.680 --> 0:16:18.520 of that, and like even in all spaces, and sometimes 0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:20.960 that's not a comfortable even with someone you're close to 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.200 as a friend, is not a comfortable thing to discuss, 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:29.880 you know. But we've had even those conversations, and it's 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:32.800 interesting how being in a certain environment can contribute to 0:16:33.200 --> 0:16:35.680 how you are and who you are and the people 0:16:35.680 --> 0:16:37.840 you keep around you, because this place is really really, 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:42.960 really really brought some lessons to the forefront for me. 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:46.240 Oh me too for sure, especially as a parent, and 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:49.280 how I can support my child in her development and 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:53.760 working through certain things that maybe I noticed were there 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:57.960 for sure, but have been even more highlighted on this trip, 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:01.000 like really also seeing the differences our kids and like 0:17:01.400 --> 0:17:05.360 how wanted, like how one one thing is one thing 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:08.399 won't bother one where the other one is super affected, 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:14.080 and you know, it's just it's just been really enlightening 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:16.359 but also kind of terrifying a little bit because I 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:21.960 realized that I I do have shit to learn about parenting. 0:17:22.520 --> 0:17:24.480 I do have shit to learn about leading my daughter 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:27.239 in the right way in the most appropriate way. You know, 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:29.480 we had this guest on that's coming on next week 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:31.920 and she's an astrologer. I can't wait for you guys 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:34.840 to hear this episode. She actually read me, She read 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:37.040 me and Jamila's natal charts while we're here, and then 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:38.560 we asked her to come on the show and read 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:41.080 our kids natal charts so that we could, you know, 0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:43.679 learn how to better parent them based on you know, 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:46.959 certain things that we might not even realize are just 0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:51.720 innately part of their who they're destined to be and 0:17:51.800 --> 0:17:57.240 what their soul path is. But within that realizing that 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:04.840 me and Iri are very different in ways, and you know, 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:07.720 we've been we've been having kind of a struggle lately 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:12.879 with certain personality issues and I and she's she's been 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:15.680 having issues vocalizing like what is wrong whenever she gets 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:19.440 upset versus where Luna is very vocal and can tell 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:21.640 you like that hurt my feelings. I don't like that, 0:18:22.320 --> 0:18:27.399 you know. And I was telling the astrologer and she 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:29.720 was telling she was basically telling me how I could 0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:32.280 support my child more and literally like I was just 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:33.840 telling her. I was asking her, like what was wrong? 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:36.560 She was like, have you ever asked her, like, how 0:18:36.600 --> 0:18:38.400 can you what can I do to make you feel 0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:41.639 more loved? And I literally asked, So I asked that 0:18:41.720 --> 0:18:46.360 to Iri today and she responded immediately, which is where 0:18:46.680 --> 0:18:50.080 whereas before I was wording it as what what's wrong? 0:18:51.040 --> 0:18:58.439 Tell me what's wrong? And she wouldn't say shit. She 0:18:58.640 --> 0:19:00.480 just said, I want to need you to be nicer 0:19:00.480 --> 0:19:03.119 to me, and I said, okay, I'll be nicer to you, 0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:05.679 but also you have to be nicer to me, and 0:19:05.720 --> 0:19:07.840 it's and so we were talking about and actually it's 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:10.480 funny that it's not funny because everything that we do 0:19:10.600 --> 0:19:14.879 is somehow aligned and where we are at. But I 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:16.320 was telling her, I was like, well, this is something 0:19:16.359 --> 0:19:18.120 you have to work on, this is something we're working 0:19:18.160 --> 0:19:19.879 on together. And then you know, I went around the 0:19:19.880 --> 0:19:21.680 table and I asked Jamie, like, what are you working 0:19:21.680 --> 0:19:24.280 on right now? Luna? What are you working on right now? 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:26.879 Because these are questions that like we don't ask our kids, right, 0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:28.600 and like we should, right, and they need to know 0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:30.280 that you're working on stuff. Yeah, and it doesn't always 0:19:30.320 --> 0:19:33.080 have to be an emotional working on something that they're six, right, 0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:35.760 but there sometimes there does it does, Like hey, so 0:19:35.840 --> 0:19:39.080 IRI's working on like communicating in a more you know, 0:19:39.200 --> 0:19:42.960 positive way and not you know, you know, being demanding 0:19:43.600 --> 0:19:46.359 and being courteous like the child. I know that she 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:49.080 is capable of being and is when she's not with 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:52.040 me for some reason, like when I go she goes 0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:54.080 to school. I got these star stellar reviews abo how 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:57.199 kind and humble and sweet she is, and she is 0:19:57.240 --> 0:19:59.600 all those things, but sometimes she gets in the zone 0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:05.800 where she is like she's she's just not she's not 0:20:05.880 --> 0:20:10.680 thoughtful with her words and that ain't gonna bla so 0:20:10.800 --> 0:20:12.679 but as a parent, I'm like, well, fuck, I know, 0:20:12.880 --> 0:20:15.119 how do I work on? How do I And then Luna. 0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:17.600 Was like, you need to tell Iri to talk nicer 0:20:17.720 --> 0:20:19.360 and to do this to that, and then Iri got 0:20:19.400 --> 0:20:20.879 upset and then I was like they were crying and 0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:21.639 I was crying. 0:20:21.800 --> 0:20:23.840 We were all crying. I was crying. It was just 0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:27.400 like like I redid say, She's like that really hurts 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:30.439 my feeling, Like that hurt my feelings. Luna and I 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:32.800 told Luna, and I was listening to Luna because Luna 0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:35.240 was right. She was right, but it also wasn't really 0:20:35.600 --> 0:20:37.800 the way she said it. Iri was getting I could 0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:41.600 feel I refelt attacked, you know, and it wasn't constructive 0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:43.800 at all. It wasn't being constructive even though I know 0:20:43.920 --> 0:20:46.840 Luna like she had good intentions, but she was also 0:20:47.040 --> 0:20:49.920 like trying to she was also kind of like trying 0:20:49.920 --> 0:20:52.919 to help me a little bit. She was like she 0:20:53.160 --> 0:20:56.600 was and you know, I don't know, it's. 0:20:56.480 --> 0:21:00.520 Just it's just such a testimony of it is we're 0:21:00.520 --> 0:21:03.320 all very different people. I'm very different from from Iri, 0:21:03.640 --> 0:21:05.400 you know, me and Lenda are some of but still 0:21:05.520 --> 0:21:08.600 very different people. She checks me all the time, and 0:21:08.640 --> 0:21:11.679 it's just like we're never done growing, We're never done learning, 0:21:11.720 --> 0:21:14.520 even from the small souls in our life, and like 0:21:14.600 --> 0:21:18.040 that's the biggest lesson. Like they are just people that 0:21:18.080 --> 0:21:21.360 came through us, Like, you know, we can influence them. 0:21:21.400 --> 0:21:23.879 They're growing up in certain environments. We're trying to, you know, 0:21:23.960 --> 0:21:28.200 obviously lead them to love and like kindness, but overall, 0:21:30.359 --> 0:21:33.000 they are their own people. And it's just like, no 0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:36.919 matter how me I am and how Erica Erica is, like, 0:21:37.920 --> 0:21:39.040 we're all very different. 0:21:39.119 --> 0:21:39.280 You know. 0:21:39.400 --> 0:21:42.840 Ivy full follows rules. She's not fucking around about the rules. 0:21:42.880 --> 0:21:45.240 We're all kind of break rolls a little bit. She's 0:21:45.800 --> 0:21:48.560 very strict in who she is. You know, she knows 0:21:48.560 --> 0:21:51.560 who she is, and it's just an interesting lesson and 0:21:51.760 --> 0:21:54.880 obviously we're having a great time. But I'm just I'm 0:21:54.960 --> 0:21:58.160 happy that this is the chapter I'm in right now 0:21:58.280 --> 0:22:02.080 that I'm just paying more attention and being more present 0:22:02.200 --> 0:22:05.800 and intentional and you know, understanding that everything in life 0:22:05.880 --> 0:22:08.720 is a lesson my child. Your child is a lesson 0:22:08.760 --> 0:22:13.280 to me. I'm triggered by her sometimes. I'm just taking 0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:18.359 accountability and noticing when I'm triggered by things, exploring why, 0:22:20.359 --> 0:22:24.119 being more conscious of like how I talk to Luna 0:22:24.400 --> 0:22:28.320 and support her, and just really being conscious of not 0:22:28.440 --> 0:22:32.439 brushing off children's feelings because that's what I'm used to, 0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:35.119 That's what I'm used to from my childhood. And like 0:22:35.359 --> 0:22:40.600 I realized that, like children being really catered to and 0:22:40.640 --> 0:22:43.919 coddled sometimes is a trigger for me because maybe I 0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:48.040 wasn't given that privilege, Like that wasn't the upbringing that 0:22:48.320 --> 0:22:49.399 was I was supported in? 0:22:49.520 --> 0:22:53.960 Really, And do you think I caughd Ale Iri? No, 0:22:54.280 --> 0:22:57.000 I just it's me. It's like not even caddle. 0:22:57.080 --> 0:23:02.000 But like if I like, that's just I didn't get 0:23:02.000 --> 0:23:06.719 that type of that childhood like at all. So like 0:23:06.880 --> 0:23:09.159 I noticed even not even just like with you and 0:23:09.200 --> 0:23:14.040 I even with other people like and I know it's 0:23:14.119 --> 0:23:17.280