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Speaker 1: This week on Good Mom's Bad Choices, I do have

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Speaker 1: shit to learn about parenting. I do have shit to

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Speaker 1: learn about leading my daughter in the right way, in

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Speaker 1: the most appropriate way.

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Speaker 2: Luna told me today my back broke out. I must

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Speaker 2: have leaned up against something. She's like, must be allergic

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Speaker 2: to the fabric. I was like, why does she know

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Speaker 2: these combination of words?

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Speaker 1: This week?

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Speaker 2: This week, welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm

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Speaker 2: Erica and I'm Nila.

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Speaker 1: And it is September, y'all, Happy September. Happy September, September one.

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Speaker 1: To be exact, it's actually the first of September.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Wow. This month's theme is back to School September. Back

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Speaker 1: to school September because it just got to learn back

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Speaker 1: to school and we ain't talking about our kids. Wait,

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Speaker 1: do you remember that song? Did you ever hear that song?

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Speaker 1: I'm Gonna read, I'm gonna read, I'm read, I'm gonna read,

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Speaker 1: I'm no. I was like, oh my god, it was

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Speaker 1: like the best song, like club gay song ever. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: but you know you know I'm gonna read. I'm wait.

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Speaker 1: We gotta outro the song with that this episode, with that,

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Speaker 1: you're really getting really spicy right now. I'm gonna read

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Speaker 1: I'm an read. I'm read. Wow.

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Speaker 2: For me being a former lesbian that was highly into

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Speaker 2: the gay community, I don't recall that I'm gonna read

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Speaker 2: I'm a read song.

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Speaker 1: Your musical taste wasn't up to part. That's why I was.

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Speaker 1: I was out. I was with the house, the house

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Speaker 1: druggy gays. Maybe you were just with the lesbians. I

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Speaker 1: know I was.

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Speaker 2: I was with the male gaze. No, I was with

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Speaker 2: the male gates and the lesbians. But I was in

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Speaker 2: the dirty South.

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Speaker 1: Uh. I was dropped going to Ronda and like weird

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Speaker 1: warehouse parties. I was in a warehouse, but it was

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Speaker 1: very ratchet. This is this is why ratchet I was doing.

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Speaker 1: I prefer the ratchet gays. I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 2: In fact, when I moved back to LA and tried

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Speaker 2: to be gay again, I was like it would confirm

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Speaker 2: that I was gonna be straight.

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Speaker 1: I hate It's like, this is not my thing anyway.

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Speaker 2: After a flashback into our former kind of gay lives.

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Speaker 1: Yes, this month, we wanted to focus on all the

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Speaker 1: things we don't know. There's a lot of those things.

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Speaker 1: I know you guys think we're geniuses. I know, I know.

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Speaker 1: Surprise now you think that we are bona fide PhD holders,

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Speaker 1: But surprise, I don't know shit. IM just kidding. I

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Speaker 1: know a lot, but got a lot more to learn.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we are experts in threesomes, shut up, cannabis

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Speaker 2: and mushrooms and three way kisses.

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Speaker 1: But other than that, we do have some learning to do.

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Speaker 1: We are actually recording in Costa Rica right now. Still

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Speaker 1: well not still, but yes, we're in Costa Rica.

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Speaker 2: It's actually our final night. We only have hours until

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Speaker 2: we leave. Yeah, we're leaving at five thirty in the

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Speaker 2: morning and it is nine fifty six pm. This feels

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Speaker 2: like the old times where we would record like at

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Speaker 2: eleven pm and release it at seven am and be

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Speaker 2: up until two trying to figure it out.

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Speaker 1: Trying to figure out why the audio won't sync to

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Speaker 1: the video all that bullshit it does.

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Speaker 2: And also I don't know something about it being feeling

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Speaker 2: that way and it being late at night, even though

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Speaker 2: it's not true, it makes me feel like less people

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Speaker 2: are going to hear it, like it's more of a secret.

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Speaker 1: No, those days are done, I know, I know.

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Speaker 2: Unfortunately, do you have any affirmations for us this evening

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Speaker 2: or morning or afternoon, wherever you're catching this. My affirmation

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Speaker 2: for this week is I am always a student of life.

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Speaker 2: I am always a student of life. Oh boy, isn't

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Speaker 2: that shit true. We've been traveling for ten days with

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Speaker 2: our children, and obviously we've traveled with our children before,

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Speaker 2: but I feel like this time is a little bit

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Speaker 2: different because I don't know, it's been a long trip

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Speaker 2: and they're like a little bit older now, so like

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Speaker 2: I'm realizing that more. The things that they say, their memories,

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Speaker 2: the words that they use, it's like, oh shit, this

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Speaker 2: is like a real little human and it's like a

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Speaker 2: really apparent how different we all are.

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Speaker 1: Well because their personality, Yeah, their personalities are really shining through,

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Speaker 1: and some of the things that they're like working through

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Speaker 1: are shining through. And it's yeah, it's really it's blowing

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Speaker 1: my mind, to be honest, it really really is. It's

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Speaker 1: like beautiful, but also it's scary. I'm like, damn, like,

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Speaker 1: is this like a preface to teenage years? Like preteen years?

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Speaker 1: Just like how they act. Like Luna told me today,

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Speaker 1: my back broke out. I must have leaned up against something.

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Speaker 1: She's like, must be allergic to the fabric. I was like,

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Speaker 1: why does she know these combination of words? Who? Who

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Speaker 1: are you? Wow?

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Speaker 2: You're so smart. You're probably right. Yeah, but it's been

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Speaker 2: really challenging. It's been beautiful and blissful and like such

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Speaker 2: a beautiful trip to say, like last time we were here,

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Speaker 2: we're like, we're going to bring our kids back, and

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Speaker 2: then we bring them back and it's like we did

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Speaker 2: that shit. But it has been challenging. Like I have

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Speaker 2: very shortations. Kids make a lot of noise, a lot

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Speaker 2: of unnecessary loud noises, and I'm really working through that's

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Speaker 2: what you're learning. I'm learning like children make noise. It's

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Speaker 2: not their fault. But it has been challenging. I've learned

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Speaker 2: a lot on this strip. And you know what, I

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Speaker 2: don't know. There's something about this September twenty twenty one

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Speaker 2: that feels like something is shifting. Ever since that, ever

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Speaker 2: since that lasts that moon and the Lionsgate Moon, Like

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Speaker 2: I felt the shift there, but like I really feel

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Speaker 2: the shift now. I really feel like this next six

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Speaker 2: months I have to be dedicated to.

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Speaker 1: Committing to the change that I say I'm going to make.

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Speaker 2: And it just feels I feel really called to do

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Speaker 2: that in a lot of ways.

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Speaker 1: We're here like.

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Speaker 2: Making our plans for our retreat in February, finalizing shit,

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Speaker 2: and as we're curating this beautiful experience, I'm just like, Wow,

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Speaker 2: this is responsibility.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: We're like embarking on this journey of wellness. And obviously

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Speaker 2: we keep a rail every week and that's our thing.

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Speaker 2: But it's just I'm noticing there's a lot of work

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Speaker 2: that I have to do on myself, and even if

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Speaker 2: it doesn't feel great, I have to do it. Like

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Speaker 2: I don't know, before I left, I was in like

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Speaker 2: a mini relationship that I didn't exactly plan for, and

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Speaker 2: I also really knew that it probably wasn't the relationship

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Speaker 2: for me. There were some red flags very early on

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Speaker 2: that we were very different people. But despite all of that,

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Speaker 2: I went towards the red light because my favorite color

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Speaker 2: is red. And the night of the Lions Gate, I

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Speaker 2: made a I was doing like a ritual in the

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Speaker 2: bathtub with Luna, and I literally asked for the things

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Speaker 2: that no longer served me to be removed. And literally,

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Speaker 2: while I was in the bathtub, this person like looked

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Speaker 2: through my phone and like found some shit that really

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Speaker 2: wasn't some shit, And literally I have not talked to

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Speaker 2: him since.

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Speaker 1: The universe is like and cut scene. It's not funny,

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Speaker 1: I was, I'm not laughing, but I'm just saying. The

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Speaker 1: universe said like, I know you asked for this and

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Speaker 1: you shall receive. Bitch, I know, I know.

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Speaker 2: And I was like it was jarring, but also like god, damn, universe, bitch, relax,

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Speaker 2: give me atten ding notice. But I've been reflecting on

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Speaker 2: that since I've been here because a literally, as I

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Speaker 2: started to like this person in my mind, I was like,

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Speaker 2: this is a test. I told myself, like, this may

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Speaker 2: be a test because this person is kind of like

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Speaker 2: telling you he's probably not the person for you because

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Speaker 2: we just had a lot of differences.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, just I don't know how to say, you're

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Speaker 1: ready to learn your lesson.

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Speaker 2: Essentially, essentially, I'm ready to learn my lessons and like

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Speaker 2: listen to my intuition when I know that my intuition

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Speaker 2: is correct, and then maybe, just maybe I'll prevent myself

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Speaker 2: from learning these difficult lessons in advance instead of eight

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Speaker 2: months later and being sad in Costa Rica because he

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Speaker 2: hasn't called me. It's sad a little bit, you don't

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Speaker 2: ever say anything.

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Speaker 1: I'm sad. I'm a cancer.

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Speaker 2: I'm sad inside alone.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, friend, I know, I mean, I know we've

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Speaker 1: talked about it, but I didn't realize. I mean, obviously,

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Speaker 1: I know it's probably on your mind, but you haven't

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Speaker 1: mentioned it much. No, I mean because I know. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So my lesson even before I left, is that I

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Speaker 2: need to listen to my intuition and just my overall

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Speaker 2: attachment to things that sometimes don't feel great but only

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Speaker 2: let maybe feel somewhat good, and just my attachment to

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Speaker 2: things that distract me instead of focusing on myself and

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Speaker 2: doing the work to commit to myself so that in

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Speaker 2: the future, when things come up that are probably don't

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Speaker 2: serve me, it's easy to eliminate them because I have

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Speaker 2: done the work and I know that, Hey, I don't

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Speaker 2: deserve that, that's unnecessary.

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Speaker 1: I don't need that. So I'm good on you and

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Speaker 1: without any.

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Speaker 2: Residual feelings about whatever it is. Also, since we've been here,

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Speaker 2: we are finding healers and we've been doing some sessions,

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Speaker 2: some intuitive sessions, some natal chart sessions, a lot of sessions,

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Speaker 2: and they've provided some insight on myself and so I'm

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Speaker 2: committing to the next six months of committing to myself.

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Speaker 2: I'm signing up for a Tantra workshop to help channel

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Speaker 2: some of my energies.

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Speaker 1: That's so cool. I'm excited. I want I want to

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Speaker 1: do that at some point too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I just I feel like this is a good

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Speaker 2: time to focus on myself. And I'm telling you and

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Speaker 2: everyone else listening so that I could actually do the shit.

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Speaker 1: And in gids are our accountability partners. Literally, I mean

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Speaker 1: it's the truth. I think a lot of a lot

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Speaker 1: of the things that I've done and we've done together

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Speaker 1: on this podcast. And even like I just launched a

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Speaker 1: I launched a wellness challenge today. Actually it starts today

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Speaker 1: and I post about it on Instagram, a thirty day challenge.

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Speaker 1: I'm really doing it because you guys make like it's

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Speaker 1: like the best tribe ever to just hold each other accountable.

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Speaker 1: Like if you guys are posting pictures, I want to

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Speaker 1: come in to keep doing it, even if I'm lying

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Speaker 1: sometimes and I ate that you know, whole kind of

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Speaker 1: Ben and Jerry's half baked ice cream, but that might happen.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, this is the best place. I'm

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Speaker 1: so grateful for like us having the space to for

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Speaker 1: people to hold us accountable and hold ourselves accountable, because

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Speaker 1: we're saying things on this mic every week and we're like,

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Speaker 1: you know, or every year, every year or every year.

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Speaker 2: I've literally said this every year, but this time I'm serious.

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Speaker 2: If I'm in a deep relationship, eight weeks from now,

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Speaker 2: somebody slap me. If you see me in public holding hands,

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Speaker 2: I give you all the permission.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think that going back to school, I mean,

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Speaker 1: is it's such an interesting thing because obviously our kids

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Speaker 1: are also going back to school, and I've been thinking

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Speaker 1: about that too, like that at some point we decide

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Speaker 1: that our education kind of ends, I think because obviously

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Speaker 1: the education system is not great all the time. People

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Speaker 1: are put in this system and expected to all learn

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Speaker 1: the same way, which is fucking ridiculous. And that's why

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Speaker 1: so many people end up hating school and not really

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Speaker 1: tapping into, like what their real purpose is because school

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Speaker 1: doesn't really teach you that. It just teaches you a

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Speaker 1: bunch of just I don't even know general shit that

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Speaker 1: really I didn't even need to know. But the idea

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Speaker 1: of being an adult and being able to tap into

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Speaker 1: yourself and figure out what it is that you're interested in,

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Speaker 1: what is that you want to work on, you know,

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Speaker 1: if you want to take a tantric class, if you

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Speaker 1: want to, you know, go back. My shout out to

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Speaker 1: my girl Ashley. She just got into like Harvard Online.

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Speaker 1: She's about to take a course and going back to

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Speaker 1: the school online. Like, there's just so many ways to

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Speaker 1: kind of explore what your interests are as an adult,

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Speaker 1: and I think it's really important not only for you know,

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Speaker 1: your own well being, but also just for your kids.

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Speaker 1: For I mean for us. It's like this retreat has

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Speaker 1: really inspired me too, and meeting so many people here

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Speaker 1: that have I mean, being in Costa Rica, people are quiet,

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Speaker 1: they have time to kind of really decide what fulfills them,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it's like, I think being here again

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Speaker 1: always brings me that back to that. That's why I

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Speaker 1: love this place so much.

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Speaker 2: It is a very magical place and it is a

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Speaker 2: place of like quietness and expansion. I feel like we've

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Speaker 2: met a lot of people who have tapped into their

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Speaker 2: natural abilities, and in some ways it kind of gives

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Speaker 2: us permission to do the same, you know, Like what

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Speaker 2: am I good at? What do I want to learn

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Speaker 2: like what naturally are my my powers? You know? And

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Speaker 2: obviously we have this brand and we do we talk

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Speaker 2: a lot, but I don't think we even ourselves get

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Speaker 2: give ourselves enough credit in the fact that we are

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Speaker 2: good at leading, we're good at being unapologetic sometimes, and

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Speaker 2: being here is kind of like it's reassured me to

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Speaker 2: kind of sit back in myself and like reflect truly

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Speaker 2: on my intentions with people, in relationships, as a parent,

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Speaker 2: with my daughter, and really to myself, and like in

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Speaker 2: every little way, like in the flings that I have

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Speaker 2: in the just the friendships my words. I feel like

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Speaker 2: people here like really intentional about their words, Like I

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Speaker 2: don't feel like doing that, and no, and like people

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Speaker 2: are comfortable.

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Speaker 1: Saying no and also saying yes.

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Speaker 2: And even I think even for you and I we've

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Speaker 2: had obviously we're best friends and we talk about a

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Speaker 2: lot of stuff. But I feel like even in this

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Speaker 2: trip traveling with our children, and one thing about parents

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Speaker 2: is we're going to be sensitive is fuck about our

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Speaker 2: parenting about our children. That's not something you really discuss about,

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Speaker 2: you know, you have discussions about. But I think even

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Speaker 2: we've been vulnerable more in a space to be like Wow,

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Speaker 2: like this is I'm scared of this in my parenting.

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Speaker 1: Do you notice this?

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Speaker 2: And like, yeah, I do, And this is triggering because

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Speaker 2: of that, and like even in all spaces, and sometimes

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Speaker 2: that's not a comfortable even with someone you're close to

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Speaker 2: as a friend, is not a comfortable thing to discuss,

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Speaker 2: you know. But we've had even those conversations, and it's

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Speaker 2: interesting how being in a certain environment can contribute to

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Speaker 2: how you are and who you are and the people

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Speaker 2: you keep around you, because this place is really really,

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Speaker 2: really really brought some lessons to the forefront for me.

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Speaker 1: Oh me too for sure, especially as a parent, and

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Speaker 1: how I can support my child in her development and

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Speaker 1: working through certain things that maybe I noticed were there

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Speaker 1: for sure, but have been even more highlighted on this trip,

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Speaker 1: like really also seeing the differences our kids and like

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Speaker 1: how wanted, like how one one thing is one thing

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Speaker 1: won't bother one where the other one is super affected,

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Speaker 1: and you know, it's just it's just been really enlightening

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Speaker 1: but also kind of terrifying a little bit because I

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Speaker 1: realized that I I do have shit to learn about parenting.

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Speaker 1: I do have shit to learn about leading my daughter

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Speaker 1: in the right way in the most appropriate way. You know,

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Speaker 1: we had this guest on that's coming on next week

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Speaker 1: and she's an astrologer. I can't wait for you guys

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Speaker 1: to hear this episode. She actually read me, She read

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Speaker 1: me and Jamila's natal charts while we're here, and then

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Speaker 1: we asked her to come on the show and read

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Speaker 1: our kids natal charts so that we could, you know,

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Speaker 1: learn how to better parent them based on you know,

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Speaker 1: certain things that we might not even realize are just

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Speaker 1: innately part of their who they're destined to be and

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Speaker 1: what their soul path is. But within that realizing that

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Speaker 1: me and Iri are very different in ways, and you know,

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Speaker 1: we've been we've been having kind of a struggle lately

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Speaker 1: with certain personality issues and I and she's she's been

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Speaker 1: having issues vocalizing like what is wrong whenever she gets

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Speaker 1: upset versus where Luna is very vocal and can tell

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Speaker 1: you like that hurt my feelings. I don't like that,

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Speaker 1: you know. And I was telling the astrologer and she

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Speaker 1: was telling she was basically telling me how I could

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Speaker 1: support my child more and literally like I was just

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Speaker 1: telling her. I was asking her, like what was wrong?

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Speaker 1: She was like, have you ever asked her, like, how

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Speaker 1: can you what can I do to make you feel

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Speaker 1: more loved? And I literally asked, So I asked that

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Speaker 1: to Iri today and she responded immediately, which is where

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Speaker 1: whereas before I was wording it as what what's wrong?

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Speaker 1: Tell me what's wrong? And she wouldn't say shit. She

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Speaker 1: just said, I want to need you to be nicer

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Speaker 1: to me, and I said, okay, I'll be nicer to you,

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Speaker 1: but also you have to be nicer to me, and

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Speaker 1: it's and so we were talking about and actually it's

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Speaker 1: funny that it's not funny because everything that we do

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Speaker 1: is somehow aligned and where we are at. But I

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Speaker 1: was telling her, I was like, well, this is something

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Speaker 1: you have to work on, this is something we're working

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Speaker 1: on together. And then you know, I went around the

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Speaker 1: table and I asked Jamie, like, what are you working

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Speaker 1: on right now? Luna? What are you working on right now?

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Speaker 1: Because these are questions that like we don't ask our kids, right,

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Speaker 1: and like we should, right, and they need to know

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Speaker 1: that you're working on stuff. Yeah, and it doesn't always

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Speaker 1: have to be an emotional working on something that they're six, right,

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Speaker 1: but there sometimes there does it does, Like hey, so

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Speaker 1: IRI's working on like communicating in a more you know,

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Speaker 1: positive way and not you know, you know, being demanding

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Speaker 1: and being courteous like the child. I know that she

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Speaker 1: is capable of being and is when she's not with

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Speaker 1: me for some reason, like when I go she goes

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Speaker 1: to school. I got these star stellar reviews abo how

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Speaker 1: kind and humble and sweet she is, and she is

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Speaker 1: all those things, but sometimes she gets in the zone

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Speaker 1: where she is like she's she's just not she's not

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Speaker 1: thoughtful with her words and that ain't gonna bla so

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Speaker 1: but as a parent, I'm like, well, fuck, I know,

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Speaker 1: how do I work on? How do I And then Luna.

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Speaker 2: Was like, you need to tell Iri to talk nicer

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Speaker 2: and to do this to that, and then Iri got

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Speaker 2: upset and then I was like they were crying and

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Speaker 2: I was crying.

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Speaker 1: We were all crying. I was crying. It was just

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Speaker 1: like like I redid say, She's like that really hurts

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Speaker 1: my feeling, Like that hurt my feelings. Luna and I

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Speaker 1: told Luna, and I was listening to Luna because Luna

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Speaker 1: was right. She was right, but it also wasn't really

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Speaker 1: the way she said it. Iri was getting I could

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Speaker 1: feel I refelt attacked, you know, and it wasn't constructive

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Speaker 1: at all. It wasn't being constructive even though I know

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Speaker 1: Luna like she had good intentions, but she was also

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Speaker 1: like trying to she was also kind of like trying

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Speaker 1: to help me a little bit. She was like she

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Speaker 1: was and you know, I don't know, it's.

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Speaker 2: Just it's just such a testimony of it is we're

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Speaker 2: all very different people. I'm very different from from Iri,

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Speaker 2: you know, me and Lenda are some of but still

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Speaker 2: very different people. She checks me all the time, and

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Speaker 2: it's just like we're never done growing, We're never done learning,

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Speaker 2: even from the small souls in our life, and like

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Speaker 2: that's the biggest lesson. Like they are just people that

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Speaker 2: came through us, Like, you know, we can influence them.

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Speaker 2: They're growing up in certain environments. We're trying to, you know,

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Speaker 2: obviously lead them to love and like kindness, but overall,

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Speaker 2: they are their own people. And it's just like, no

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Speaker 2: matter how me I am and how Erica Erica is, like,

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Speaker 2: we're all very different.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: Ivy full follows rules. She's not fucking around about the rules.

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Speaker 2: We're all kind of break rolls a little bit. She's

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Speaker 2: very strict in who she is. You know, she knows

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Speaker 2: who she is, and it's just an interesting lesson and

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Speaker 2: obviously we're having a great time. But I'm just I'm

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Speaker 2: happy that this is the chapter I'm in right now

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Speaker 2: that I'm just paying more attention and being more present

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Speaker 2: and intentional and you know, understanding that everything in life

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Speaker 2: is a lesson my child. Your child is a lesson

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Speaker 2: to me. I'm triggered by her sometimes. I'm just taking

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Speaker 2: accountability and noticing when I'm triggered by things, exploring why,

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Speaker 2: being more conscious of like how I talk to Luna

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Speaker 2: and support her, and just really being conscious of not

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Speaker 2: brushing off children's feelings because that's what I'm used to,

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm used to from my childhood. And like

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Speaker 2: I realized that, like children being really catered to and

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Speaker 2: coddled sometimes is a trigger for me because maybe I

393
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 2: wasn't given that privilege, Like that wasn't the upbringing that

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Speaker 2: was I was supported in?

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Speaker 1: Really, And do you think I caughd Ale Iri? No,

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Speaker 1: I just it's me. It's like not even caddle.

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Speaker 2: But like if I like, that's just I didn't get

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Speaker 2: that type of that childhood like at all. So like

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Speaker 2: I noticed even not even just like with you and

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Speaker 2: I even with other people like and I know it's

401
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 2: my own personal experiences, it's my own trauma. It's not

402
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,960
Speaker 2: like it makes me uncomfortable. But that's because I wasn't

403
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Speaker 2: supported in that way. And I have to check myself

404
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Speaker 2: even with Luna, because she is six and she is

405
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Speaker 2: sassy and she is mature, but she's still six And

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Speaker 2: sometimes I forget that because again, I'm used to a

407
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Speaker 2: certain thing and you would think, like I'm thirty three,

408
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 2: like how long ago is that? But it still is

409
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Speaker 2: something that I realized more now than ever that that's

410
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Speaker 2: why it's triggering for me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I think this trip has really highlighted

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Speaker 1: that parenthood is like it has all these stages, and

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm just like entering this new stage

414
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Speaker 1: where like, yeah, or does have feelings. She's very like

415
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:08,320
Speaker 1: it's not she's resilient in her feelings, but there's there

416
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: is a level of like it sticks more now that

417
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Speaker 1: their memory isn't sticks more, hurt sticks more, The things

418
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Speaker 1: you say stick more, whereas before you could kind of

419
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Speaker 1: brush off their feelings a little bit. I don't want to.

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00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,480
Speaker 1: It sounds irresponsible, but like you could kind of get

421
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:30,320
Speaker 1: away with cause they forget right because they're like, oh whatever, No,

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00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 1: it's like no, now I'm starting to see the remnantss

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Speaker 1: of like me assuming that she's going to forget and

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00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 1: her not forgetting right, you know not and not that

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00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 1: I'm like intentionally doing that, but I don't know. And

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Speaker 1: then also like how do I support her? How do

427
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:48,560
Speaker 1: I like work on her attitude? Like how do I

428
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,880
Speaker 1: make her super aware of her attitude without like traumatizing

429
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,400
Speaker 1: traumatizing her and making her feel bad, make her feel

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00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: bad about herself like she's not a good person, or

431
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Speaker 1: like she's a problem. She's the problem one of Luna

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Speaker 1: and her, like she's the one who's always getting called out,

433
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:07,520
Speaker 1: and like even like even with the food thing, you

434
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,880
Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like it's so annoying my daughter

435
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 1: is still like not eating anything. It's very fucking irritating,

436
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 1: and every dinner it's acknowledged, and it's like I realize that,

437
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 1: like that's not I have to acknowledge it at times,

438
00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 1: but also like it's it's not helpful to keep making

439
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 1: her feel bad.

440
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:29,160
Speaker 2: About it, like necessarily fixing I don't know to fix

441
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 2: it and so like, I don't know, I'm hoping this month.

442
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,199
Speaker 1: This month really, whether it's on the podcast or not,

443
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 1: it's one thing that I really have to I really

444
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: want to like talk to some other parents that are older,

445
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 1: that have older children, that have gone through these type

446
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 1: of behavioral issues and you know, just different things. My

447
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 1: daughter's gone through a few different a few things over

448
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:46,960
Speaker 1: the past few years that I don't think I really

449
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 1: considered how they've affected her. Well, I don't.

450
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 2: I think just in general, we haven't. Really the culture

451
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 2: is not necessarily to think of a child like the

452
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 2: psychology of a child, how impressionable they are, the trauma,

453
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,679
Speaker 2: even if we don't consider it trauma, Like that's not

454
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,200
Speaker 2: our like our background, you know, Like I know people

455
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 2: who have been in therapy since they're they're like children

456
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,880
Speaker 2: and that's normal in their households. That's not necessarily like

457
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 2: the norm. Because even you made a comment this trip

458
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 2: that there was a time like your mom would bring

459
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 2: up certain things and you couldn't, you could not talk.

460
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 2: I felt that like there was the same thing in

461
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 2: my household, like we would bring up stuff and I

462
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 2: just couldn't. I would just cry, like literally just cry,

463
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 2: and I thought about that too, like not like not

464
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 2: feeling like you can literally talk. You just have all

465
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 2: this emotion, you know, motion, and it's just like at

466
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,600
Speaker 2: the drop of a dime you could just burst out

467
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,800
Speaker 2: into tears and how like how much you know, I

468
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,199
Speaker 2: talk a lot, and I talk about here, but I

469
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,160
Speaker 2: do struggle with like when things get like super deep

470
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,719
Speaker 2: about myself, I'm like, I don't necessarily want to talk

471
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 2: about it, especially not with like most people, like it's

472
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 2: maybe like three people, and like it's just it's not healthy.

473
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 2: And if we don't check ourselves down, we don't relearn

474
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:13,640
Speaker 2: and reprogram those things, like we'll just create the same

475
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:17,159
Speaker 2: shit in ourselves, you know, and our and our kids

476
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 2: that have been created in us. And I'm grateful that

477
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 2: we are in the position to kind of just be

478
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,120
Speaker 2: open to it, you know. Like I'm happy I'm Luna's mom.

479
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 2: Like she's feisty, she dances like you know, some people

480
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,680
Speaker 2: will say shit like she's talking and all these things,

481
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 2: but I let her live because I know she's mimicking

482
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,680
Speaker 2: what she sees. But also I'm happy I'm her mom

483
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,479
Speaker 2: because I can teach her to channel that I can

484
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 2: teach you, like to not be ashamed or not to,

485
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 2: you know, let other people tell you what that means

486
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 2: for you, you know, And I know I wasn't given

487
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 2: that space, and who knows how that's like blocked me

488
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 2: in ways.

489
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:05,919
Speaker 1: Life's lessons, guys, life's lessons.

490
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:07,880
Speaker 2: The next six months and the rest of this month,

491
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:12,959
Speaker 2: for sure, are just commitment to life's lessons and being

492
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 2: open to learn them and recognize them and not not

493
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 2: thinking you're too goal old or too grown to return

494
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 2: back to school in some way, form or remedy.

495
00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and I'm excited for this month too, and seeing

496
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 1: all the things that we end up learning. Next week's

497
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: episode is really intriguing and interesting and I learned a

498
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 1: lot and we have some cool things happening the rest

499
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:47,160
Speaker 1: of the month. So make sure that you stick around

500
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,080
Speaker 1: and go back to school with us and let us know,

501
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:55,160
Speaker 1: like maybe you have been considering, you know, learning something

502
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 1: or going back to school.

503
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 2: Sure, I always love to know what other people are learning.

504
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,360
Speaker 2: I want to learn too. I want to with all

505
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 2: the learns. Yeah, and if you have any cool courses, share.

506
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 1: Them, share them.

507
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 2: Like we're in such as we're in a time where

508
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 2: we can literally have access to anything.

509
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 1: It's so interesting, Like there's tantra courses, there's courses, there's

510
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: reki healing courses, there's courses on you know, or courses.

511
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 1: There's courses on like how to build a website, how

512
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 1: to market for your business or whatever. Like there's so

513
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 1: many different things. And so that's the beauty of the

514
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 1: Internet in twenty twenty one is that there literally is

515
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: an influx of courses. Make sure your check who's making

516
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 1: the courses, but you know they're there. Whoever calls you. Well,

517
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: if you guys haven't yet signed up for our retreat,

518
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,320
Speaker 1: to be the first to know all the details of

519
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:54,320
Speaker 1: when it is happening, because those details will be coming

520
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: out next week. We have finalized the actual days here

521
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 1: in Costa Rica. We've also finalized the location, which is

522
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 1: very exciting, as well as a few other people that

523
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 1: we're going to be contributing and facilitating some beautiful and

524
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,720
Speaker 1: amazing experiences for you guys. So make sure you go

525
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 1: to our website, Good Momsbad Choices dot com and click

526
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 1: the retreat tab, put your email in and be the

527
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 1: first to know when all the info goes live. Anything else,

528
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 1: my love, nothing.

529
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 2: I'm just excited to commit to the next six months

530
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,440
Speaker 2: up into the retreat to just being better and being

531
00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:41,520
Speaker 2: my more full learned self. And I hope everybody else

532
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,960
Speaker 2: is doing the same. Slide in our dms and tell us.

533
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 1: How, tell us how, and join they Get Your Shit

534
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: Together Challenge.

535
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 2: I think we should continue these up until February. It

536
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 2: is like, you're going to get to Get Your Shit

537
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 2: Together Challenge.

538
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 1: It starts in September, but the hope is that you

539
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: don't just fucking stop in October. That would be fucking dumb,

540
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:03,000
Speaker 1: because you're going to be feeling so good by the

541
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,760
Speaker 1: end of September if you continue, If you just do

542
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,880
Speaker 1: these seven things that I listed, I know because I've

543
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,640
Speaker 1: done them and then I fall off and then I

544
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 1: feel like shit again. So if you're a patron, I

545
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 1: posted the details. If you follow us on Instagram, I've

546
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 1: posted the details. We're starting today. If you know you're

547
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 1: listening to this and it's a week into September, it's

548
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 1: all good. Just start now. Buy that gallon of water

549
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,720
Speaker 1: and start drinking that shit. Train your bladder. Think of

550
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 1: an affirmation. We want you guys to write down an

551
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: affirmation day. If you have a journal right in there,

552
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 1: and you know try to wake up a few minutes early,

553
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:46,760
Speaker 1: especially if you have kids. I know it sucks, it

554
00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:50,320
Speaker 1: doesn't sound fun, but you get used to it, and honestly,

555
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:55,040
Speaker 1: the morning quiet some of us don't have, like the

556
00:31:55,120 --> 00:32:00,000
Speaker 1: luxury of a babysitter or our homeschooling. Wake up early

557
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: and have those few early thirty minutes to yourself and

558
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 1: do whatever the fuck you want. Get off your phone though,

559
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:13,040
Speaker 1: and yeah, so it goes to go check that out

560
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 1: and uh, we'll see you guys next week. Bye bye.

561
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 3: I'm that bitch. I'm that bitch. I'm gonna read that bitch.

562
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 3: I'm gonna school that bitch. I'm gonna take that bitch

563
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,440
Speaker 3: to college. I'm gonna give you that bitch some knowledge.

564
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 3: I'm gonna read that bitch. I'm gonna school that bitch.

565
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 3: I'm gonna take that bitch to college. I'm gonna give

566
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 3: you that bitch some knowledge. I'm gonna read. I'm gonna read,

567
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 3: I'm gonna read. I'm gonna read, I'm gonna read, I'm

568
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 3: gonna read. I'm gonna read that bitch. That bitch schools in.

569
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 3: I'm gonna read that bitch. I'm gonna write this situation

570
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:48,840
Speaker 3: to just use my ship when I had do online

571
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,440
Speaker 3: and that's been and I can't get I ripped and

572
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 3: I dip and yeah, trick, what bitch you don't like

573
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 3: my shit? What bitch wanna fight me? Drick in the

574
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:57,920
Speaker 3: back of the classroom said, the talking shit better such

575
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 3: an ass up for it for you real quick. I'm

576
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:04,239
Speaker 3: gonna reach that bitch. I'm gonna teach that bitch. I'm

577
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 3: gonna give

578
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:07,160
Speaker 1: Mm hmm