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Speaker 1: This is cole Minor, John, this is coal Minor Sale.

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Speaker 2: And we have been digging for stories on the Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytime podcast.

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Speaker 1: As long as we can remember, saying, and we've found

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Speaker 1: some diamonds of the rough, How don't we? John? That's right?

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Speaker 2: But before we do that, we have to wade through

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Speaker 2: two more minutes of incredible ads from our sponsors keeping

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Speaker 2: us finding more great stories on the show.

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Speaker 3: I think my DNA test results are wrong. They say

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Speaker 3: my parents aren't my parents.

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Speaker 4: Sounds like a lot of signs you got to figure

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Speaker 4: out there.

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Speaker 3: And it's I'm Not Your Father Week on Okay Storytime,

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Speaker 3: where we're diving into jaw dropping paternity twists and family

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Speaker 3: confessions that I'll have you asking is this really my dad?

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Speaker 3: But let's dive into this one. I think there may

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Speaker 3: have been some mistake with my DNA processing somehow. I've

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Speaker 3: recently done one of the tests and got my results back,

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Speaker 3: but I don't recognize any of these people.

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Speaker 1: Ooh, buddy, new faces.

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Speaker 3: I'm nineteen and it says I have two children, which

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Speaker 3: is impossible. I've only ever had spicy sleep with one

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Speaker 3: woman and she never got pregnant. And it says I

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Speaker 3: have two cousins there, and neither of them are my cousins.

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Speaker 3: I feel really confused, and I'm not sure how to

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Speaker 3: contact ancestry so they can look into it into how

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Speaker 3: I got someone else's DNA matches. By the way, this

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Speaker 3: comes from Conscious Olive seventy fifty four and if you

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Speaker 3: want to spend your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 3: slash Okay, storytime, separate it. Dog Chick says those are

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Speaker 3: parental matches. Oh wait, because they shared a picture of

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Speaker 3: the matches. Oh so I guess this commentary is replying

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Speaker 3: to a picture of these matches and says these are

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Speaker 3: the parental matches, not Opie's kids. Wait, so he's adopted. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you should talk to your parents. Sounds as though you're adopted.

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Speaker 3: Awkward Bees says could also be a double donor conceived. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 3: a lot of recipient parents don't plan to ever tell

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Speaker 3: their donor children of the truth of their conception. Unfortunately

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Speaker 3: for them, DNA testing is now super popular and relatively cheap,

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Speaker 3: so their kids are finding out. Ten Huma Duvida says

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Speaker 3: this must be very confusing and stressful for you. Keep

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Speaker 3: us updated, op take screenshots of all your matches. And

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Speaker 3: any public trees in case they start going anonymous in

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Speaker 3: the future. I do think there is a chance your

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Speaker 3: two parental matches took their test in hopes they might

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Speaker 3: find you one day. Have you contacted any of your matches?

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Speaker 3: Opie says no, I haven't contacted any of them because

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Speaker 3: I thought they were wrong. I feel really deeply in shock,

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Speaker 3: and I genuinely don't know what I should do. I

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Speaker 3: just don't understand the reasoning behind not telling your like

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Speaker 3: adult child's just kind of at any point during their

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Speaker 3: life that they're adopted. Ten Uma Davida says, hugs, I

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Speaker 3: can only imagine I would probably have to take a

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Speaker 3: deep breath or one hundred myself if this happened to me.

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Speaker 3: Is this something you'd feel comfortable asking your parents and

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Speaker 3: family about, like adoption in vitro, any other combo that

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Speaker 3: might explain why you would not be genetically linked to

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Speaker 3: the people you know as your family. Opie says, I

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Speaker 3: don't know. I just don't understand it at all. I'm

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Speaker 3: going to go to my friend's house. I feel really weird.

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Speaker 3: Command Alternative ten says, this is big news. Be gentle

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Speaker 3: with yourself. It's going to take a while for you

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Speaker 3: to process, and yes, you will probably feel really weird

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Speaker 3: for a bit. Maleficent Theory eight one to eight says,

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Speaker 3: take a deep breath. Do your parents know you got

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Speaker 3: an ancestry kit? As a parent, the CM levels are

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Speaker 3: what I match my children at. I also match my

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Speaker 3: own biofather at that CM level. The two people are

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Speaker 3: your bioparents. I would get a trial membership so you

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Speaker 3: can see matches by a maternal and paternal side screenshot

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Speaker 3: everything see if any of the higher matches have a

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Speaker 3: family treat it may not be linked yet. As an adoptee,

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Speaker 3: I had people hide the results from me when my

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Speaker 3: results hit the database. Once you have an information screenshot,

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Speaker 3: you need to talk to your parents. Let them know

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Speaker 3: you did an ancestry test to see your ethnicity and

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Speaker 3: got strange results.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, because now, as like this kid, you have to

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Speaker 5: worry about the input of four people. Yeah, your parents

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Speaker 5: and then your new pay parents, your bio parents.

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Speaker 3: Yeah exactly.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: How is everyone to get to react to you finding

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Speaker 3: out this information? Op says No, they don't know. They've

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Speaker 3: always said that DNA tests are evil and will sell

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Speaker 3: your DNA to the government. I wonder why they said

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Speaker 3: that was it because they actually thought that or because

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Speaker 3: they were hiding something. There is an update seven days later.

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Speaker 3: But I got thoughts, and I'm assuming you got thoughts, Riley.

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Speaker 6: I do.

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Speaker 5: I do think there is something up with the whole

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Speaker 5: DNA twenty three and meters.

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Speaker 3: Oh, you're just talking about the government stealing your data collection.

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Speaker 5: People make millions off of it, so be careful with

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Speaker 5: what you're putting out there.

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Speaker 3: I guess that's for op.

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Speaker 4: What was your point?

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Speaker 3: My point was more related to the story. I think

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Speaker 3: you have to go talk to your parents. I think

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Speaker 3: the other comments are saying, you know, take screenshots and

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Speaker 3: everything are right, But yeah, go talk to your parents

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Speaker 3: and say, hey, why did you feel the need to

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Speaker 3: hide this from me for nineteen years? Update seven days later,

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Speaker 3: Hello everyone. A lot of people have been reaching out

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Speaker 3: to me after my last post, so I thought it

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Speaker 3: it would be easier if I just made one post

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Speaker 3: here giving an update, rather than multiple comments responding to individuals.

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Speaker 3: It's been a really long week for me. This has

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Speaker 3: been the hardest time of my life, and I know

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Speaker 3: that just sounds stupid, but everything has really changed for me.

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Speaker 3: I've had maybe two hours of sleep each night. I

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Speaker 3: feel like I'm really struggling. I don't want to sound

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Speaker 3: like I'm whining, but I just feel so shaken by

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Speaker 3: everything that's happened. I still can't believe that my parents

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Speaker 3: aren't my real parents. You all susted out quick that

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Speaker 3: I was reading the results wrong. JE and DP weren't

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Speaker 3: my children. They're my biological parents. That feels not good

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Speaker 3: to say, and I feel bad about that. I have

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Speaker 3: never felt different from my parents. Always thought I looked

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Speaker 3: like my dad. I look back through my life and

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Speaker 3: it just seems unreal. DP is my biological father, JE

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Speaker 3: is my biological mother. My parents equal my adoptive parents,

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Speaker 3: real quick? Yes?

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Speaker 4: Should we give these people's names or should we go

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Speaker 4: by this? Oh to keep track of it?

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Speaker 3: Sure we can. I think that they haven't learned the

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Speaker 3: name yet.

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Speaker 4: Okay, Oh, maybe they have.

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Speaker 3: Let's give a David and Jessica.

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Speaker 5: Okay, So David and Jessica are.

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Speaker 3: The bioparents bioparents and the adopted parents.

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Speaker 4: We don't know that.

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Speaker 1: We're probably gonna get to that.

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Speaker 3: I know I should have gone to my parents first.

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Speaker 3: I should have given them a chance to be honest

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Speaker 3: with me, But I reached out to both David and

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Speaker 3: Jessica first. Instead. I was pretty simple with my message, Hey,

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Speaker 3: not sure what's going on here. It says that we're

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Speaker 3: matched as parent and child. Do you know why David

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Speaker 3: got back to me literally within minutes. I mean, if

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Speaker 3: he's getting back to you that fast, that means he

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Speaker 3: took the DNA test to find you. He said he

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Speaker 3: was so happy I decided to reach out, and that

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Speaker 3: he wasn't going to message me first in case I

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Speaker 3: didn't want him to. He said he was going to

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Speaker 3: contact Jessica and tell her I'm on ancestry. If I

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Speaker 3: was okay with that, I just asked if we could

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Speaker 3: slow down. I said I didn't know what was happening

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Speaker 3: because I always believe the people who raised me were

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Speaker 3: my parents. He said, my parents' names didn't tell you.

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Speaker 3: He asked if we could speak over the phone after that.

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Speaker 4: Ooh.

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Speaker 5: Should he have talked to his adoptive parents first, of

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Speaker 5: the bioparents first.

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Speaker 3: I feel like if he talked to the adoptive parents,

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Speaker 3: they would have tried to hide things and you know,

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Speaker 3: told him not to talk to his bioparents. I feel

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Speaker 3: like they would have made up a bunch of lies

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Speaker 3: about the bioparents. They would have been like, oh, the

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Speaker 3: substance users, and that's why they got rid of you.

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Speaker 3: And we never wanted you to know. I'm just putting

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Speaker 3: things on them, but I feel like the fact that

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Speaker 3: they lied for nineteen years.

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Speaker 5: And didn't own up to it at all.

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Speaker 3: He called me, and he explained a lot. When I

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Speaker 3: was born, he was only fifteen years old. Jessica was

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Speaker 3: also the same age.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: He said they wanted to keep me, but both their

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Speaker 3: families convinced them I would be better off being adopted.

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Speaker 3: They were living in a small village and wanted everything

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Speaker 3: kept as low as possible. My parents were family friends

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Speaker 3: of Jessica's parents, and they offered to take me. It

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Speaker 3: was agreed between everyone, and when I was born, I

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Speaker 3: was just handed over. I feel numb writing this. He

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Speaker 3: said that he and Jessica wanted to contact me, but

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Speaker 3: we're told that it was better to just leave me.

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Speaker 3: They said it was agreed I would be raised knowing

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Speaker 3: I was adopted, and eventually, after every one of their

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Speaker 3: families told them, they agreed that there would be no

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Speaker 3: contact until I was eighteen, and that when I turned

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Speaker 3: eighteen I was to be given the full story of

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Speaker 3: what happened and given a way to contact them. So

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Speaker 3: already we know that the parents did not fulfill their

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Speaker 3: sad they're a side because OPI was supposed to know

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Speaker 3: that they were adopted kind of the whole time.

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Speaker 5: Imagine being fifteen, Yeah, willing to raise a kid, Yeah,

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Speaker 5: them being stripped away from you, and being told one

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Speaker 5: day you.

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Speaker 3: Can contact them again, and then you.

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Speaker 5: Just sit there and wait. Yeah, with that burden. Oh

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Speaker 5: my gosh.

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Speaker 3: Every month, my parents were meant to send a letter

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Speaker 3: to Jessica's parents about me, just keeping them updated, and

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Speaker 3: for a while they did, but pretty soon it stopped.

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Speaker 3: When they asked about me, they were just told to

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Speaker 3: move on and leave it by their families. So they

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Speaker 3: suspected that something may have been off, but they didn't

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Speaker 3: think I was never going to be told I was

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Speaker 3: adopted at all. He said. When ancestry came out, they

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Speaker 3: both decided to do it just in case I couldn't

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Speaker 3: get in contact with them any other way. He told

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Speaker 3: me a lot more, but honestly, I feel drained just

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Speaker 3: typing that all out. He asked me if he could

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Speaker 3: pass my number on to Jessica, and I said, yes,

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Speaker 3: I know this is selfish of me, but I asked

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Speaker 3: him not to contact me again and ask Jessica not

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Speaker 3: to contact me until next week. I just need some

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Speaker 3: time first. He sounded upset, but he agreed and didn't

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Speaker 3: say anything to argue with me or anything. Now, my

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Speaker 3: parents are good people, good parents. I don't understand why

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Speaker 3: they would do this to me. I haven't spoken to

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Speaker 3: them about this yet. I don't know I'm going to

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Speaker 3: do it because now I just feel alone. And there

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Speaker 3: are some comments and an update. Ae mo eight says,

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Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. I had an NPE experience and it

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Speaker 3: also hit me hard. I didn't hardly leave my room

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Speaker 3: for three days and felt like I was dissociating. It's

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Speaker 3: been a few weeks now and I'm much better. I

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Speaker 3: hope that gives you hope. It takes time for the

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Speaker 3: shock to wear off. It sounds like your birth parents

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Speaker 3: wanted you and want contact, which feels confusing, I'm sure,

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Speaker 3: but that should also feel great that you were wanted.

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Speaker 3: I'm sure your parents who raised you thought they were

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Speaker 3: doing the best thing for you. They probably didn't want

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Speaker 3: you confused and wanted to preserve their bond with you.

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Speaker 3: I don't think it ever gets easier telling someone they're adopted,

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Speaker 3: so maybe they just kept putting it off and then

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Speaker 3: didn't want to hurt you. Probably not the best choice,

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Speaker 3: but it seems you were very love by all parents involved.

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Speaker 3: Just take some time to process and maybe tell your

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Speaker 3: birth parents you're more comfortable with written communication for now

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Speaker 3: instead of the phone. Sorry you're going through this, and

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Speaker 3: Opie says, it just feels all unreal. I still can't

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Speaker 3: quite understand it all. I haven't spoken to my parents

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Speaker 3: properly since I found out. I just don't know how

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Speaker 3: to face them. And Vegan Cutie says, I'm so sorry. Unfortunately,

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Speaker 3: your story is not too uncommon amongst adoptees whose parents

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Speaker 3: initially agree to tell their child the truth but they

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Speaker 3: never end up doing it. You have the right to

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Speaker 3: feel upset and betrayed. I mean, that's a huge secret

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Speaker 3: to keep from your child for so long, regardless of

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Speaker 3: your intentions. I'm sure no parent ever intends to hurt

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Speaker 3: their kids with this type of thing, but ultimately they

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Speaker 3: should have given you the truth instead of letting you

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Speaker 3: find out like this. It may take some time, but

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Speaker 3: the initial shock will eventually wear off and it'll become

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Speaker 3: just another thing in your life. It won't hurt forever

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Speaker 3: when you feel ready, I'm sure talking to your parents

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Speaker 3: about all of this might help you get through it.

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Speaker 3: Much love, Opie says, thank you. I don't understand why

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Speaker 3: anyone would do that short of their child. Vegan Cutie says,

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Speaker 3: I really don't know why. Your parents may be the

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Speaker 3: only ones who can answer that question. They owe you

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Speaker 3: an explanation. Opie says, I love them so much, which

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Speaker 3: makes this so hard for me. I feel like I'm

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Speaker 3: already a disappointment to them in so many ways, and

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Speaker 3: now I'm not even their real son. Wait, why are

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Speaker 3: they making you a disappointment? Why are they making you

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Speaker 3: feel like that?

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Speaker 5: I would love forp just to see a therapist and

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Speaker 5: understand those underlying tones. Yeah, it seems like a really

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Speaker 5: interesting connection, just like all these things put together. Because

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Speaker 5: your parents are being disappointed in you may be a

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Speaker 5: disappointment they're having themselves that are putting on you, like

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Speaker 5: all just a number of things.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, ouch, oh, pee, go easy on yourself. You've literally

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Speaker 3: done nothing wrong. You are, you know, kind of just

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Speaker 3: going with the flow of the life. That has been

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Speaker 3: handed to.

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Speaker 1: You getting through school.

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Speaker 3: But there is an update. A day later, I found

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Speaker 3: out that I'm adopted. I don't know how I'm ever

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Speaker 3: going to forgive my parents. I found out that I'm

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Speaker 3: adopted this week. I'm nineteen years old. I never had

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Speaker 3: any idea. No one ever told me or even suggested

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Speaker 3: I wasn't related to my parents. My parents don't know

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Speaker 3: that I know I'm adopted. I haven't really spoken to

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Speaker 3: them properly since I found out, and now I don't

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Speaker 3: even know how I'm going to face them. Since finding out,

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Speaker 3: I've had the opportunity to speak to my biological father

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Speaker 3: over the phone, and he explained a lot. I've always

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Speaker 3: thought I was so much like my dad. I thought

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Speaker 3: I looked like him, and now I don't even know

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Speaker 3: myself anymore. I don't know what to do, and there

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Speaker 3: are some comments I think finishing the story off. Damon

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Speaker 3: Prince of Korn says, listen, you're real, You're here, you

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Speaker 3: touch things. If I cut you, you'll bleed, but I

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Speaker 3: won't because that's very rude. You have experiences and feelings

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Speaker 3: and preferences in things you find funny and heartbreaking. You

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Speaker 3: have music that makes your heart jump. You have friends

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Speaker 3: who love different things about you. You're a whole butt

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Speaker 3: person whether or not you're adopted. I can't imagine how

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Speaker 3: hard this is and how hard it's going to be.

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Speaker 3: Someone made a roundup of resources for late discovery adoptees

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Speaker 3: a while back, and it's pretty thorough and can at

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Speaker 3: least help you get your feet back on the ground

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Speaker 3: when you feel like you've become rather untethered. They should

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Speaker 3: have been honest with you. We've known for decades and

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Speaker 3: decades that honesty is the best policy when it comes

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Speaker 3: to adoption. There's no shame in being adopted or in adopting,

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Speaker 3: and you absolutely shouldn't be embarrassed or shamed. Perhaps your

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Speaker 3: parents should be for lying to you, But you've done

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Speaker 3: nothing wrong this. Your adoption isn't a result of a

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Speaker 3: decision you made. You did not ask for this. You've

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Speaker 3: done nothing wrong and nothing is wrong with you. Sending

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00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,240
Speaker 3: big hugs post when you need to definitely get in

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Speaker 3: with the therapist as soon as you can to help

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Speaker 3: process all of this. You know how if you have

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Speaker 3: a bad bone break, you'll need physical therapy for a while,

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Speaker 3: so you can have some guided support in the recovery period.

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Speaker 3: Therapists can be like that too. There's also no shame

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Speaker 3: in calling in the big pupews when you're way out

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Speaker 3: of your depth, whether that's a doctor or a plumber

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Speaker 3: or a mental health professional. I'm so sorry, Bud. And

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Speaker 3: that's the end of that story. So we don't know

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Speaker 3: if op has talked to their parents.

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Speaker 1: Yet the story has so much potential.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm really hoping that you talk to your parents

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Speaker 3: and they're not awful.

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Speaker 5: I don't know why, but from the beginning it was

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Speaker 5: just your mindset inching away from that.

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Speaker 3: I mean, everyone in this story is afraid. It seems

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Speaker 3: like is letting fear kind of get the better of them.

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Speaker 3: And I think that you just need to have some

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Speaker 3: communication with your parents because maybe they'll surprise you.

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Speaker 1: Again.

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Speaker 3: Definitely undoubtedly made a mistake that was selfish of them,

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Speaker 3: but that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't love you

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Speaker 3: or care for you.

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Speaker 1: They did what they thought was best, was it selfish? Yes,

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Speaker 1: you got it. You got two new parents.

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Speaker 4: You've even got two new parents you can see.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you got two.

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Speaker 3: New parents now that also love you.

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Speaker 1: Very cool yup.

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Speaker 5: And that is the first story of not your father's

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Speaker 5: week and we have a next one tomorrow for you

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Speaker 5: guys here on the podcast, so join in.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend's sister hates me. It's straight in our relationship,

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Speaker 1: get out of here sys. Adam and I.

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Speaker 7: Have been together for a little over four months now.

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Speaker 7: For the most part, our relationship is perfect, but ever

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Speaker 7: since his sister veered into my life, it's been causing

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Speaker 7: huge strain on mine in Adam's relationship. By the way,

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Speaker 7: this comes from Butterfly Fly Away twenty one and if

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Speaker 7: you want us smit your own stories, go the r

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Speaker 7: slash Okay story temp stubrut it. So when I first

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Speaker 7: started dating Adam, he told me Marie was coming to

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Speaker 7: visit from out of town and get ready to meet her.

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Speaker 7: I asked him what he meant by that, and he said,

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Speaker 7: Marie is a witch. She's a mean, judgmental girl and

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Speaker 7: won't give you the time of day.

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Speaker 1: Now. I try to be a nice person.

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Speaker 7: I try not to judge people, and I always welcome

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Speaker 7: someone new in my life in the warmest possible way.

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Speaker 7: Right when he described Marie liked that, I told Alim,

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Speaker 7: I don't want toxic people like that in my life.

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Speaker 7: But I will meet her and be civil with her, said, Hi,

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Speaker 7: shook my hand. I was okay with this. About five

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Speaker 7: minutes later, she comes barging into Adam's room, asking why

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Speaker 7: he was screaming. He was telling her that he walked

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Speaker 7: me to pluck his eyebrows and it was painful, completely

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Speaker 7: ignoring me in the room, She goes, that's stupid. They

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Speaker 7: look fine and go get a wax if you need

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Speaker 7: them done that bad and walks out later that night.

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Speaker 7: The night after, she would call Adam to pick her

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Speaker 7: up when she was wasted because she was irresponsible and

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Speaker 7: planned to ride. I told him that we spend limited

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Speaker 7: time together and have to cut it by his sister's

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Speaker 7: kind of annoying. He took her side, which is expected,

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Speaker 7: and anytime we were in his room, she always felt

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Speaker 7: the need to knock bargin.

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Speaker 1: For literally no reason.

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Speaker 7: I don't have siblings, and I assumed this is typical

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00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,480
Speaker 7: sibling move, but she never spoke one word to me

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00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,480
Speaker 7: and acted like I didn't think this. Marie left town

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00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,760
Speaker 7: and she started telling Adam things about me that she

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Speaker 7: didn't like, and then made a huge deal over the

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Speaker 7: fact that I didn't add her on Facebook. I accepted

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Speaker 7: her request, and then she called him and started dissecting

382
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Speaker 7: my profile and everything about it. A girl can't catch

383
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Speaker 7: a break is my sister, and this girl has a sister,

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Speaker 7: no room to judge anyone herself. Up until Tuesday night,

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Speaker 7: Marie had said she was staying home for Thanksgiving. All

386
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Speaker 7: of a sudden sides to come down and ruin everything.

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Speaker 7: She came into town last night. I told Adam that

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Speaker 7: I didn't want to see her or hang out with her,

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Speaker 7: and he was really uneasy about that. When I got

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Speaker 7: to his house, he stapped me down, said we had

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Speaker 7: to talk. Basically told me that no one in his

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Speaker 7: life has ever not liked his sister. What do you

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Speaker 7: mean you literally just call you? Told ope like, hey,

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Speaker 7: this girl is a massive witch. Be prepared. You said that,

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Speaker 7: and there is going to be a huge problem if

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Speaker 7: I don't get along with her. I said, I would

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Speaker 7: be civil, but I didn't want a self absorbed person,

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Speaker 7: negative girl like that in my life. I said, I

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Speaker 7: would respect the fact that they are siblings and they're

400
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Speaker 7: extremely close.

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Speaker 1: But that's it.

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Speaker 7: I also asked him to do one thing. If she

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00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,760
Speaker 7: is over, could he ask her to give us some

404
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,400
Speaker 7: privacy When the door is closed and not barge in.

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Speaker 7: And Adam is extremely against this. What if you are

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00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:21,480
Speaker 7: mid coital, you.

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Speaker 1: Want that, you want that, you want that? I think

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Speaker 1: so we don't want that.

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Speaker 7: Again, not having siblings, I don't really get it, but

410
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Speaker 7: I know that I would ask my parents to respect

411
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Speaker 7: my privacy if he were at my house and the

412
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Speaker 7: roles were reversed. After two hours of arguing this, he

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00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:39,200
Speaker 7: finally gave in. We were at his house and he

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Speaker 7: texted him or Ree saying, hey, I'll talk to you

415
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Speaker 7: in the morning if you come in. Girlfriend is over

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Speaker 7: and she leaves on Saturday. His way of asking for

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Speaker 7: some privacy. Well, she took this the wrong way, started screaming,

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00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,840
Speaker 7: deleted me on Facebook, went out, got wasted. One thirty

419
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Speaker 7: Am comes by. She's calling their mother screaming how she

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Speaker 7: needs a ride. Can't call Adam because I'm a witch

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00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,359
Speaker 7: and a witch. And then his mother starts screaming that

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Speaker 7: I'm a witch and we'd just stop and he needs

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Speaker 7: to pick her up now.

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Speaker 2: Oh man, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

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Speaker 2: The mom's not a vibe either.

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Speaker 7: Once again, I'm alive and our night And for the record,

427
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 7: I was asleep, sick, in his bed. So now Marie

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00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:15,720
Speaker 7: hates me for asking for privacy and is setting out

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00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,639
Speaker 7: to make my life. And now his mother dislikes me

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00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,960
Speaker 7: because naturally she agreed with her daughter. Like I said,

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00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 7: he and his sister are extremely close, and I know

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00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,800
Speaker 7: she's going to do everything in her power to make

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00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,440
Speaker 7: sure he and I aren't together. And even after talking

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00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 7: to me Outam about this, he still sides with the sister.

435
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 7: I'm supposed to go on vacation with both of them

436
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 7: in a month, and I am dreading that all day today,

437
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,680
Speaker 7: Adam has been very distant, old towards me, and I'm

438
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,879
Speaker 7: afraid this is the beginning of the end. How should

439
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:41,960
Speaker 7: I confront both of them about this or mend this?

440
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,919
Speaker 7: Any help would be appreciated. And there is an update

441
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 7: coming up, But juicy, juicy, thick update, because we are

442
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:52,600
Speaker 7: barely a quarter through this story, it's gonna get thick. Wow,

443
00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 7: it's gonna get juicy. But what do you think? Do

444
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 7: you think Op is the A hole? And also how

445
00:19:58,640 --> 00:19:59,760
Speaker 7: should I confront both of them.

446
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,680
Speaker 2: About I think that Op is not the a hole.

447
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:06,360
Speaker 2: I think she is not only setting a reasonable boundary.

448
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,639
Speaker 2: But again, it's like, hey, in a relationship. It's like

449
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,199
Speaker 2: your partner's like, hey, this is like you know what

450
00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 2: I want and like what I feel comfortable with, and

451
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 2: like you gotta kind of work together to figure out

452
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:20,119
Speaker 2: what that equilibrium is going to be. So yeah, I

453
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:24,240
Speaker 2: mean the sisters absolutely cuckoo for coca puffs, sounds like

454
00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 2: moms as well, and he's not supporting her, yeah, which.

455
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:29,840
Speaker 7: Means I mean the relationship is is if he doesn't

456
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,680
Speaker 7: start choosing you, I think the relationship is going to

457
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:33,159
Speaker 7: be doomed.

458
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 2: And that's I think that the next conversation is like, hey, listen,

459
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:39,199
Speaker 2: I understand you. You you know, love your sister and whatever,

460
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 2: but like, you know, there's some things that are you know,

461
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,840
Speaker 2: I don't want to just like at her bargin whenever

462
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,760
Speaker 2: she wants, for example, and like we need to just

463
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 2: like work together to get on the same.

464
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 1: Page on that. She can't just steam roll over you. Yeah, yeah,

465
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 1: I don't let it do.

466
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,439
Speaker 8: I did look up the ages of everyone, or at

467
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 8: least the three main characters. Yes, so it looks like

468
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 8: boyfriend is twenty three, the sister's twenty five, and O

469
00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 8: twenty one, and I'm.

470
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 1: Just the youngest.

471
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 7: No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

472
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:16,640
Speaker 8: And then I guarant I SOA I'm thinking like, oh,

473
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 8: the sisters, the oldest getting the you know, yeah, whatever

474
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:23,280
Speaker 8: little brother syndrome thing, you know, Oh, I can do

475
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 8: whatever I want.

476
00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, the boss. Yeah, but we got an update.

477
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 7: We got an updates dive into thattt mayba we got

478
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:33,679
Speaker 7: an update.

479
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,159
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sister into it.

480
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 7: A lot has happened, but I will try to make

481
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,439
Speaker 7: it as short as possible. Feel free to ask for

482
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 7: any clarification on anything if I'm thinking of this timeline correctly.

483
00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,560
Speaker 7: I briefly saw my boyfriend Adam on Thenksgiving while his

484
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 7: sister Marie was out shopping on Black Friday. When I

485
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 7: left his house, I asked him if he had asked

486
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,919
Speaker 7: his sister why she had deleted me on Facebook out

487
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 7: of the blue.

488
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 1: He didn't do that.

489
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,320
Speaker 7: So the next Friday, Adam and I get into a

490
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 7: fight in the morning that was between he and I.

491
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 7: I was leaving down quickly for a family emergency and

492
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:05,159
Speaker 7: my emotions were already pretty whacked. I definitely overreacted, but

493
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,880
Speaker 7: there was a lot in my mind, which I explained

494
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,880
Speaker 7: to him. I met up with him around five since

495
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:12,000
Speaker 7: we wanted to talk and still home, I get asked

496
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,120
Speaker 7: him if he asked his sister, and he said no.

497
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,080
Speaker 7: We calls her on the phone and she says, if

498
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 7: she wants to talk to me in person, he can.

499
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:21,360
Speaker 7: I'll be civil. Literally, recalling this night makes my heart race.

500
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,640
Speaker 7: We grabbed a bite before we headed over to his house,

501
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,160
Speaker 7: because at that point I hadn't decided if I wanted

502
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 7: to speak with her or not. During the dinner, he

503
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 7: told me that we weren't going to go to his house,

504
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 7: that this was goodbye. Oh for a while. Why for

505
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 7: a while. Yeah, still emotions running high. I asked him

506
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 7: why and he said, because my sister is there. I

507
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,360
Speaker 7: knew that I had to talk with her sooner or later,

508
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,840
Speaker 7: and he ultimately wanted me to do it, so I

509
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,000
Speaker 7: did it for him. Mentally, I was telling myself, not

510
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 7: say anything, and I can cry when it's over if

511
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,360
Speaker 7: I needed to. I never cry. I drive over there

512
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:56,000
Speaker 7: and I follow him into his sister's room. Marie is

513
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:59,159
Speaker 7: laying on her bed and she said sit down, I

514
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 7: would rather stand and instantly turns to Adam and says,

515
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 7: you see this crap, Adam, he's acting like a witch already.

516
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,920
Speaker 7: I'm taking a back So I asked what's the difference

517
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 7: between me sitting down and standing up? She says, nothing

518
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 7: goes on with what she has to say, which went

519
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:11,840
Speaker 7: something like this.

520
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 1: Here we go.

521
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 7: First, she started telling me about how Adam was sharing

522
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 7: every text message, in phone conversation we've had together with her,

523
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 7: and she knows everything that I've said about her.

524
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 2: Dude, that's not cool, bro, Adam, what are you doing?

525
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 9: No, Adam, here's the bus, Adau. I guess you got

526
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:32,640
Speaker 9: thrown under.

527
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:32,959
Speaker 3: Oh.

528
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 7: All I said on text and on phone is that

529
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,680
Speaker 7: I don't want to go downtown because I don't want

530
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 7: big sister breathing down our next. Again, you're focusing on

531
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 7: the wrong thing here, girl, Adam is a little spineless boy.

532
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 7: My friends were in town that I haven't seen for years,

533
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 7: and the last thing I wanted to do was deal

534
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 7: with having her sloppy, wasted self barging in. I didn't

535
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 7: say that last tens. All I said to him is

536
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,040
Speaker 7: I didn't want her breathing down our next. She took

537
00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 7: that out of context extremely personally. Then Marie started talking

538
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 7: thinking about why she deleted me on Facebook. She said

539
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:03,800
Speaker 7: that she wasn't going to keep me as a friend

540
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 7: if I didn't like her. She said she doesn't keep

541
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 7: people like that on her account. Adam decides now is

542
00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,520
Speaker 7: a good time to tell Marie clarify something that I

543
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,200
Speaker 7: had confusion on first sign that he was completely defending her.

544
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,800
Speaker 7: She said, Oh, I keep that girl as a friend

545
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:17,840
Speaker 7: because I like to know things about her life because

546
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 7: I hate her. I think her life is so pathetic

547
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 7: that it's funny and I like that. What the quote

548
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 7: John and the quote Ope? So you don't like me,

549
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 7: so you delete me, but you want to use her

550
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,600
Speaker 7: to talk crap about her, so you keep her. Again,

551
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,640
Speaker 7: I didn't say anything. Marie then goes to talk about

552
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 7: how she thinks that I'm a crazy, controlling witch. She said,

553
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 7: you never let Adam go out, You never let at

554
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 7: him hang out with his friends, You never let Adam drink.

555
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 7: You don't let Adam do anything that he wants. Then

556
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:46,040
Speaker 7: turns to Adam and says, I think you are a

557
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:49,239
Speaker 7: crazy witch, and you are a kiddy for putting up

558
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 7: with this girl.

559
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 1: I think you should leave her. And you know I

560
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,880
Speaker 1: am always right, You never disagree with me. Yeah, yeah,

561
00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:58,240
Speaker 1: this says is not controlling at all.

562
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 7: Also, the one thing she is right is uh, Adam

563
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 7: is a little kitty. True, he is a little little noodle.

564
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:10,640
Speaker 1: Spine Yeah, yeah.

565
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 7: Adam, stand up for yourself, man, Come on, stand up,

566
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,120
Speaker 7: grow the spine, cut the boundaries down.

567
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 1: Go from kitty to lion. Yeah. I had a lot

568
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 1: of practices on that, jode is.

569
00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 7: Adam put his head down like a puppy who just

570
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,639
Speaker 7: got scolded. I stood there and shocked, held back to

571
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,199
Speaker 7: heres and say anything. When she said that statement, she

572
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 7: also mentioned examples. Then it hit me she knows everything

573
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,480
Speaker 7: about our relationship. He tells her everything, but he only

574
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,920
Speaker 7: tells Marie his side of the story and what's going on.

575
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 7: He never told her anything about anything, so she is

576
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 7: hearing things about relationships that are taking way out of context.

577
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:53,919
Speaker 7: For example, the drinking thing was because one night he

578
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,639
Speaker 7: got extremely wasted, beyond wasted, and of course tried to

579
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 7: cover it up. I clearly knew his wasted ask him

580
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,879
Speaker 7: not to have spicy sleep with me when he's wasted,

581
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 7: because I've been mistreated that way and I don't enjoy it,

582
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 7: which is a totally good.

583
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:06,879
Speaker 1: Thing to do.

584
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 7: Yeah, he took that as I hate it when he drinks, period.

585
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 7: And that's what his sister said of.

586
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:16,640
Speaker 9: Course, Uh, just dumb, both of them now, just dumb,

587
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 9: both of them.

588
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 7: Now that I have tissues with bicy sleep while wasted,

589
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,239
Speaker 7: not the drinking itself. I also constantly ask Adam if

590
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,360
Speaker 7: he feels like I'm holding back for anything from him

591
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,200
Speaker 7: because I don't want to, and he always says, no,

592
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 7: not at all. If I wanted to do something, I

593
00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 7: would do it. Marie then starts to go on about

594
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 7: how we were supposed to vacation together. She says, why

595
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,479
Speaker 7: are you even going to go when we're not going

596
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,919
Speaker 7: to talk. It's awkward for everyone. You should not go.

597
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 7: Adam told me that you didn't want to go to

598
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,919
Speaker 7: dinner with us. This staycation was for Adam's birthday. Finally

599
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 7: stepped in and said, I never said that, not once.

600
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 7: In fact, dinner hasn't even been mentioned, and Adam then

601
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:51,360
Speaker 7: backs his sister up.

602
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 1: Of course, it makes me look crazy. We're not remembering

603
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 1: even the combo truly never happened. Why. I don't know

604
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,560
Speaker 1: why you're like trying to hold onto this. Ah, it's

605
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 1: too much, Oh, way too much.

606
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 7: She goes on to pick apart everything that's wrong with me,

607
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,200
Speaker 7: tells me why she's better than I'll ever be I

608
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,680
Speaker 7: don't know why that matters, tells me that I've never

609
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,080
Speaker 7: even acknowledged anyone in this family when they're around.

610
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: Not true at all, you wouldn't know.

611
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 7: And tells me that people think I'm a witch because

612
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 7: I speak my mind and I'm not afraid to tell

613
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 7: someone something that's not even which that's just a bitter,

614
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:25,400
Speaker 7: immature person. Kristin Cavalari was never liked. Who is that uh?

615
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,959
Speaker 7: Tells me things of a relationship that I didn't even

616
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 7: know about, and reminds me that she's always right, and

617
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 7: he break up with me. This went on, We're over

618
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 7: an hour. I held it all in and then I

619
00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 7: walked out of the room. I broke down pride and cried,

620
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 7: didn't get over an hour of sleep, and missed my

621
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 7: plane because I just couldn't handle anything at the moment.

622
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 7: I ended up getting on another plane, thank goodness. I

623
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 7: decided that instead of talking to her, I would write

624
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:50,960
Speaker 7: a letter and explain everything. I didn't stay in person.

625
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,359
Speaker 7: You should write a letter to your boyfriend to break up?

626
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 9: Yeah, just an hour of just taking just getting barge. Yeah,

627
00:27:58,400 --> 00:27:59,119
Speaker 9: and you're crazy.

628
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,719
Speaker 1: Your boyfriend did ohing and ahhing.

629
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 2: I feel like this is This is like a great

630
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 2: example where it's like I know, I guess op's like

631
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 2: trying to like, okay, like let me communicate, let me

632
00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 2: like say all the things that I couldn't like articulate

633
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,879
Speaker 2: when I was there. Sometimes you don't gotta do that.

634
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,639
Speaker 2: This woman was just berating you for an hour. It's

635
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:18,680
Speaker 2: it's there's there's.

636
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 7: Really no Yeah. I wrote it and decided to ultimately

637
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,119
Speaker 7: not send it. A truly can move with you. I

638
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:28,239
Speaker 7: love that because I don't even want to give her

639
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 7: any piece or part in my life.

640
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 1: Well, I was gone.

641
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,959
Speaker 7: I thought a lot about Maria's person. I think that

642
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,760
Speaker 7: for someone to be so immature, cold and mean, there

643
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 7: has to be some really deep emotional problems. And this

644
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 7: is the way she lets out again, makes fun of

645
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 7: everyone for being fat, but she can lose weight. Do

646
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 7: you think she's better than everyone because she has Tory

647
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 7: Birch flats? And literally the first thing to ask Adam

648
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 7: about me was what kind of person choose does she wear?

649
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 7: And she wasn't very happy with that answer. Do you

650
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 7: believe material possessions make a person? And in order to

651
00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 7: make herself feel happy or okay, is to tear down

652
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 7: every single person in your life. I question anyone who

653
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 7: openly prides himself or herself in being a crap talker,

654
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 7: who wants someone like that in their life.

655
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: I sure don't.

656
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 7: That's petty drama even MTV wouldn't want for a reality show.

657
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 7: Came back into town and decided to be very black and

658
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 7: white with Adham until we were able to talk everything out.

659
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 7: I told him that he never defended me once. Hopefully,

660
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 7: maybe op is gonna break up. Hopefully, I'm praying, bro,

661
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 7: he never defended me once when he could have, and

662
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 7: I'm so hurt that there's basically a third person in

663
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 7: a relationship. The thing she said to me, I'll never forget.

664
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 7: I asked him why he didn't go to me with

665
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,080
Speaker 7: the way he felt about things, and he said because

666
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 7: he was scared spanos span And I explained to him,

667
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 7: I don't have a brother or sister to go to,

668
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 7: so I go to him with our problems. I wish

669
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 7: he could do the same, because things get twisted like

670
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,560
Speaker 7: everything was. I told him, Oh, when you let people

671
00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 7: only see the bad things, they're gonna get bad thoughts,

672
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 7: especially when they are from a bi of you. Adam

673
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 7: understood everything and since that talk, relationship has been pretty solid.

674
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 7: You're sticking with it, OPI crazy. I started to get

675
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 7: Marie and all of her hurtfull words out of my

676
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 7: head until the conversation about vacation came up. I was

677
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 7: with Adam on a Friday night. He said to me,

678
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 7: so about my birthday vacation. Marie called me and said

679
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 7: that she has already spent a lot of money on

680
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 7: Christmas in New Year's Eve, and she knows how important

681
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 7: you are to me and how she knows that I

682
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 7: ultimately want to be with you on my birthday. She

683
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 7: doesn't want to intrude or make anything awkward or make

684
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,000
Speaker 7: you feel uncomfortable, but she has no problem with you.

685
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 7: She said that she would be willing to cancel the vacation.

686
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:37,360
Speaker 7: What do you think?

687
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 9: Who is this guy?

688
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: What is this explanation?

689
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 9: Who is this guy?

690
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:45,400
Speaker 2: She she obviously she just tore into Op four an

691
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 2: hour straight.

692
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 8: I guarantee you Marie is telling that to the boyfriend

693
00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:55,479
Speaker 8: or to Opie's boyfriend, saying send it and see what

694
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 8: she says. And she's like, you know what she's gonna

695
00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 8: you say all this and you know what, break up

696
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 8: all this stuff it's.

697
00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 9: A test, which I don't know. I would bring somebody.

698
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: Yeah.

699
00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 7: I felt so uneasy in my head. The first thing

700
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 7: I thought of was, that's a setup. That's a complete setup.

701
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 7: Choos Wisely, I told Adam verbatim, I would like take

702
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 7: a couple of days to think about what I would

703
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:18,160
Speaker 7: like to do. Adam wanted to answer immediately, but I

704
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 7: really wanted to think it out. I didn't want to

705
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 7: be selfish to stay canceled, but I didn't want to

706
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 7: put myself in a bad situation. I really didn't want

707
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 7: to go at all. But all I said to him

708
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 7: was I'll think about it, and he texted his sister, Yeah,

709
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 7: cancel your vacation. I didn't know this at the time.

710
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 7: She stopped talking to him. I hadn't given it an answer,

711
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 7: and he didn't ask me for one. I really wanted

712
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 7: her to decide and then I would go with whatever,

713
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,360
Speaker 7: but I really did not want to go. Two weeks

714
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 7: later he told me that he sent that text to Marie.

715
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 7: She called him up and said, I cannot believe you're

716
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 7: picking your girlfriend over me. I am your sister, blah

717
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 7: blah blah. She doesn't come before me. I am first

718
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:52,800
Speaker 7: in your life. Stop talking to him. Just like I

719
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 7: knew it was a setup. I knew she does not

720
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 7: like me and has not liked me, and this was

721
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 7: a test to see who we would pick, which is

722
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,239
Speaker 7: why stayed out because I did not want this to

723
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 7: come back around to me. I told him I knew

724
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 7: it was a setup. Besides Christmas, they haven't talked much.

725
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 7: The only time they do talk, it's brief, and she

726
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 7: constantly asked questions about my life. I think if you

727
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:13,560
Speaker 7: don't like someone, you don't waste your time or energy

728
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:14,040
Speaker 7: on them.

729
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: But this is her hobby.

730
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 2: Oh bro, she's she's yo of petty energy, just like

731
00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 2: he's a sucking life.

732
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,280
Speaker 1: Boss and second life for is out of herself too.

733
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

734
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 7: I ended up not going on the vacation because I

735
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,520
Speaker 7: had another family emergency that hasn't happened. Adam and I

736
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:33,720
Speaker 7: have been doing wonderfully. I don't know, but I am

737
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 7: scared that the next time his sister comes into town

738
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 7: something will happen between us.

739
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 1: It probably will.

740
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 7: I am constantly worrying about the future and what is

741
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 7: going to happen later on. I don't want to put

742
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 7: all of my effort in this relationship if it won't

743
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 7: work out because his sister and I do not get along.

744
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: I can't continually put.

745
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:50,080
Speaker 7: My relationship on hold when Marie comes into town, and

746
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 7: I don't want to have any drama when she's around either,

747
00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,920
Speaker 7: So I still don't know what to do because our

748
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 7: relationship is going so wow, there's more to this story. Oh,

749
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 7: thank you to all the reagis. I apologize again for

750
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 7: so long to run an update. I pose another problem

751
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 7: above and any feedback would be greatually appreciated. By the way,

752
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 7: you can go listen to full episodes with stories just

753
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,880
Speaker 7: like this. Go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite

754
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 7: podcast app and search. Okay, story time. There's a little

755
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:17,440
Speaker 7: bit more to the story, a little little little some details,

756
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 7: but uh, I mean we had a story earlier today

757
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,080
Speaker 7: like this, Like it seems like you you things kind

758
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 7: of went okay and went your way once and you're

759
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 7: ignoring an entire history of bad choices. We still have

760
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 7: not resolved this problem on it. He chose you once

761
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 7: over his sister. As soon as she comes back to

762
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 7: stay with him or to you, it's gonna yeah, it's

763
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:43,400
Speaker 7: gonna get because she's not.

764
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 8: Around such a big elephant in the room too, like, hey,

765
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 8: where were you in that conversation? Nothing, it was never

766
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 8: brought up again. Yeah, okay, that's cool.

767
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 1: Yeah you're weeping stuff under the rug.

768
00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:58,360
Speaker 7: Yeah, look like I mean much like a three minute

769
00:33:58,520 --> 00:33:59,479
Speaker 7: hinge voice message.

770
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 1: This is two much. Wow, what a comparison.

771
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 7: If you're wondering about his mom, well, she has been

772
00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 7: nothing but nice to me. After screaming about how I'm

773
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:13,760
Speaker 7: a witch such, she never apologized, but she's been overly

774
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 7: sweet to me. Adam actually told me about two weeks

775
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 7: ago that she's a substance regular user and heavy drinker,

776
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 7: and that's why he has a very small relationship with

777
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 7: her and why she acts the way she does. I

778
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 7: am fine with the entire family, and I know on

779
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 7: Christmas Day it ate Marie alive when all her favorite

780
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 7: little cousins kept asking you about me where I was

781
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 7: because they wanted to talk about cheerleading and gymnastics.

782
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:39,919
Speaker 1: I cheered in coach gymnastics. She knows nothing about that.

783
00:34:40,840 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 2: Edit.

784
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 1: WHOA.

785
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,760
Speaker 7: I didn't think that would get so much of a response.

786
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:45,360
Speaker 7: I want to thank everyone taking time to reply. It

787
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 7: means a lot to me. I just responded to almost everyone.

788
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 7: Thank you guys, you're great. I'm thinking of talking to

789
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 7: him at this point about it again. But I've mentioned

790
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 7: in some comments about having troubles bringing up I see

791
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:58,800
Speaker 7: him on Monday or Tuesday. I hope you talk to him, because,

792
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,720
Speaker 7: oh man, this is a lot.

793
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:06,040
Speaker 1: I beg you be He literally shared the entire relage,

794
00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 1: like is this we had? I feel like we've had

795
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 1: enough red flags.

796
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 2: Hey it's John here, og host of the show. We're

797
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 2: gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a

798
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 2: quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My boyfriend

799
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 2: actively neglects responsibilities.

800
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: I want to leave. I think you should. It's your

801
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 1: responsibility to leave. Oh, get out of a girl.

802
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 2: I first met my thirty six female boyfriend thirty seven

803
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 2: male five years ago when I moved to a new state.

804
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 1: I was staying with my family and we went shopping.

805
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,880
Speaker 2: He came to assist and I was kind of attracted

806
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 2: him from the jump. I have a type tattoos, smart

807
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 2: butt attitude button the funny way. A month later, I

808
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,439
Speaker 2: ended up working at the same store, not because of him,

809
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,880
Speaker 2: but because it was close to my family's house and

810
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 2: the only place actively.

811
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 1: Hiring at the start of the bid.

812
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,120
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from cultural poet forty three

813
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 2: sixty three. And if you want to submit your own

814
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 2: story is going to be our slash okay story.

815
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:56,279
Speaker 1: I'm stubbred it. So. I was not doing well before

816
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:56,760
Speaker 1: I moved.

817
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 2: My grief over losing my mom had me in a

818
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 2: choke hold, was crashing on people's couches, drinking, doing substances,

819
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:03,720
Speaker 2: and just all.

820
00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 1: Around my life.

821
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 2: I talked to my family, jumped on a bus, and

822
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 2: three days later I moved to another state across the

823
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,800
Speaker 2: country to start over and try again.

824
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:17,120
Speaker 1: Wow fresh clean, clean, fresh lan start hard reboots.

825
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 2: Getting this job was the first big positive step forwards

826
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,920
Speaker 2: for me. So it took about two months of making

827
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 2: excuses to stop and talk, some light social media stocking,

828
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 2: and outright telling him I was interested before he finally

829
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,239
Speaker 2: realized I was flirting with him. I was laying it down.

830
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 2: Some men do not understand when they are being flirted with.

831
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 8: It's usually ninety nine percent of men. Yes, we are

832
00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:40,760
Speaker 8: so dumb.

833
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,280
Speaker 1: You're kissing me on the mouth. I'm not sure even then.

834
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 9: We don't know if you're flirting with us. Any of

835
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:46,440
Speaker 9: you like us?

836
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:48,480
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, sorry, you tripped on my head.

837
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,759
Speaker 8: They're like, huh, it's like you can literally say we

838
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 8: like you, and we're like, m okay, DOUM believe that.

839
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 2: So we went on our first date and we had

840
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 2: so much fun. We talked about our lives. I told

841
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 2: him a bit about my past. I found out his

842
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 2: wasn't to a far off, maybe even a little darker

843
00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 2: than my past. He sold me the story of his

844
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 2: past with substances, a cheating X, and how he had

845
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 2: moved home because even though the house was quote unquote

846
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 2: in his name, she was pregnant and he didn't want

847
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 2: to punt her out. He made it sound like he

848
00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,920
Speaker 2: owned a said house. I have heard that story changed

849
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,879
Speaker 2: multiple times throughout the years, and I'm still not sure

850
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:23,759
Speaker 2: if I've ever even gotten the truth about that. He

851
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 2: implied that he also moved home to help his parents

852
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,600
Speaker 2: out with paying bills. I later found out that his

853
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,399
Speaker 2: parents are very comfortable in their finances and he didn't

854
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 2: pay them anything. Needless to say, I drink the fool aid. Anyways,

855
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,080
Speaker 2: I fell hard and fast. We talked about buying a

856
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 2: house together, which thank god I came to my senses

857
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,640
Speaker 2: and we opted to get an apartment instead, and about

858
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 2: ten months into our relationship, we moved to our apartment.

859
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 2: So yeah, not even a year in and they're living

860
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 2: together ole quick, little quick. There were some behaviors that

861
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 2: I knew I would have to help him grow out of,

862
00:37:56,040 --> 00:38:01,080
Speaker 2: his gaming habits, general messiness, guy stuff For time saving purposes.

863
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 2: I will not list everything that I learned in that

864
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,480
Speaker 2: first year and the three years since I've lived with them,

865
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 2: but one thing became glaringly obvious. I fell in love

866
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,840
Speaker 2: with a giant man child and a mama's boy. I

867
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 2: learned that he was not just messy. He was dirty.

868
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:17,320
Speaker 2: Trash left all over the coffee table, food bits on

869
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,440
Speaker 2: the floor from late night gaming snacks, leaving food out, overnight,

870
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 2: cloth staying wherever they land. I had never seen it

871
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:27,320
Speaker 2: before because his mom always picked up after him when

872
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 2: he was living with them. We had multiple fights about

873
00:38:30,320 --> 00:38:33,120
Speaker 2: his obsession with gaming, his inability to manage his money.

874
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:35,319
Speaker 2: He had one bill in his name, even though I

875
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,000
Speaker 2: gave him money for it, it would still be like Wow,

876
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 2: and his insane jealousy because of his cheating AX. Meanwhile,

877
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:44,320
Speaker 2: over time, I was working my way up in the company.

878
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 2: I went from a measley part time position to full

879
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 2: time to a coveted sales position and eventually management.

880
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:53,760
Speaker 1: Dude, op is making it happen. Huge, that's good stuff.

881
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,680
Speaker 2: Now I work with a division of corporate still low

882
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:58,880
Speaker 2: on the tone of pall, but already have my manager

883
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,920
Speaker 2: putting in recommendations or promotions for me. And I had

884
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,479
Speaker 2: never done this well at a job in my entire life.

885
00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:06,359
Speaker 2: Mind you, this is coming from op. He's like starting

886
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 2: from scratch, getting like a retail job. So Opie's like

887
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,840
Speaker 2: really made something. I never worked at a company for

888
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 2: this long. I quit substances, rarely drank except for a

889
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:15,719
Speaker 2: few nights out with friends, and I managed to make

890
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:17,759
Speaker 2: and I was so proud of myself for becoming an

891
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 2: actual adult. I even had good credit again go when

892
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,600
Speaker 2: I got the sales position. He was jealous because even

893
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 2: though he has the skill set to be successful in

894
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:28,759
Speaker 2: a role like that, he had a crappy attitude, was

895
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 2: often late, and used BS excuses about a very manageable

896
00:39:32,400 --> 00:39:34,799
Speaker 2: health thing to leave early. He made me feel so

897
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 2: small about my promotion that I didn't even get to

898
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 2: celebrate it.

899
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 1: Another human red red flag. Celebrate your partner, man is

900
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:44,719
Speaker 1: nothing but red flag.

901
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 2: Instead, I cried that night because apparently only way that

902
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:52,479
Speaker 2: anyone succeeded was because they kissed butt, and no one

903
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 2: was actually promoted for their skills. It was just a

904
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:58,280
Speaker 2: popularity game. I worked my butt off for that position.

905
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 2: I showed up early, offered to stay late, it helped

906
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:03,080
Speaker 2: anywhere and everywhere in that store, and had to deal

907
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,319
Speaker 2: with anger Karen's with a smile on my face. To

908
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 2: his credit, he felt bad and learned from that experience

909
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 2: and has been happy for me with every position I've

910
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:13,280
Speaker 2: moved up to since then. But yeah, he's he's blendingly

911
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,160
Speaker 2: belittling you and making you cry when you get a promotion.

912
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 2: Yeah no, Yeah, this is getting long, so let's fast forward.

913
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 2: We're still renting, but we've moved into a house that

914
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:25,960
Speaker 2: was quite a bit more than our apartment, but we

915
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 2: were doing well work wise. He eventually left the company

916
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 2: we worked for and ended up in a much better

917
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 2: paying job. Also, our family had grown by three fur

918
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:35,400
Speaker 2: babies and we needed more space.

919
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,239
Speaker 1: Now. I think about six months ago he lost his job.

920
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,960
Speaker 1: Gonna get jealous of op probably for heard oh true,

921
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 1: good point point of point.

922
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,680
Speaker 2: I told him to apply for unemployment, but his pride

923
00:40:45,760 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 2: and ego he got in the way. He always has

924
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,640
Speaker 2: an excuse that there's some sort of issue with his application,

925
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 2: but I honestly don't think he even applied for it.

926
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,520
Speaker 2: In the first two months, his parents were giving him

927
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,840
Speaker 2: money to go towards rent, but I was still picking

928
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 2: up an extra five hundred dollars of household expenses every month. Now,

929
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 2: at some point he closed his bank account and never

930
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 2: opened one again.

931
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,560
Speaker 1: What okay, I'm confused.

932
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 2: All his money gets deposited into his dad's bank account,

933
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,440
Speaker 2: and then his mom would give him cash.

934
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,799
Speaker 7: So not only is mommy folding her clothes, but she's

935
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 7: also giving new an allowance.

936
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 1: And this man is like in his like mid late thirties.

937
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 7: Unless this is for like crazy tax reasons, which I

938
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,360
Speaker 7: don't think it is, this is weird.

939
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 2: So strange. He barely put any effort into finding a job.

940
00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 2: Between his unemployment, being able to borrow off his parents

941
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:41,440
Speaker 2: and me covering whatever was left, he was awfully comfortable

942
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 2: just staying at home. I told him, I get it,

943
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,360
Speaker 2: I've been unemployed before. But if he's going to be

944
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 2: home all day, he could pick up some house chores.

945
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 1: Mayb he fold his own clothes. For one man whoa

946
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:56,800
Speaker 1: whoa a radical idea? Crazy and Diddy No, hell no,

947
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,320
Speaker 1: no Diddy. He is the king.

948
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:03,719
Speaker 2: Wow, he is the gig of weaponized and competence. He

949
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 2: took one dedicated chore of doing the dishes, and he

950
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 2: was still inconsistent on when that would actually get done.

951
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,719
Speaker 2: We started fighting more and more and it became a

952
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 2: weekly events again. Like something I think we've seen continually

953
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,840
Speaker 2: in the last few stories that we've read is you

954
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 2: have bad times and then you realize that there's problems,

955
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 2: and then if you don't solve the problems, there will

956
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 2: be good times that will make those problems less present,

957
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 2: less than your face, but the problems will come up again,

958
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 2: like the problem. We've been seeing these problems again and again,

959
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 2: and when the times are good, you just brush him

960
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 2: under the rug, but the problems are still there, Like

961
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:43,920
Speaker 2: you're never gonna have a good relationship if you keep

962
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 2: ignoring these problems.

963
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:45,839
Speaker 1: They are coming up.

964
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 2: They're stacking like his dirty dishes, girl, yeah, and his

965
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 2: dirty drawers, dirty skid mark drawer. Now remember me mentioning

966
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 2: the gaming. I'm not against gaming, but he took it

967
00:42:58,239 --> 00:42:59,919
Speaker 2: to a whole new level. He had a game room

968
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 2: off in the garage. Last winter, he would be out

969
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 2: there with a little electric heater, ranking up our electric

970
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,480
Speaker 2: bill as the month started to get cold, and our

971
00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 2: household stayed at a one to one and a half

972
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:13,319
Speaker 2: income household. He was on unemployment but making less than

973
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 2: half what he was making when he was working. I

974
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,240
Speaker 2: told him he could bring his game into the living

975
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 2: room to keep the.

976
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:19,240
Speaker 1: Electric bill down.

977
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 2: That same night, he started sleeping on the couch. Not

978
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:24,359
Speaker 2: because we fought and I made him. He does it

979
00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 2: because he plays until two or three am, gets off

980
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:30,239
Speaker 2: the game, watches people play other games on YouTube, and

981
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 2: falls asleep. Get a job, the routine of champions. God,

982
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 2: there's gotta be better guys though, dude, right, bro has

983
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:46,120
Speaker 2: so far zero redeeming qualities.

984
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 7: He's gotta be hot, right because there's yeah, yeah, I

985
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:58,720
Speaker 7: already lift it too much for our audio listeners, John

986
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 7: is a hold at all. Great Now, that's pain is gross?

987
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,840
Speaker 1: Okay, that's pain is gross.

988
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 9: Good call back, John.

989
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,319
Speaker 1: That was maybe three or four months ago.

990
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,760
Speaker 2: Our relationship honestly feels like we are roommates at this point.

991
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,480
Speaker 2: He's working again, trying to take the job hunt seriously.

992
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 2: I took away his game controllers and threatened to sell.

993
00:44:20,480 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 7: He took away his gig no games until you applied.

994
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 2: The jobs and threatened to sell it to put towards bills.

995
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 1: And then you get this quokie if you're a good

996
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,879
Speaker 1: boy god and you know what too.

997
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,040
Speaker 2: This is actually a great example of like when you

998
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:40,400
Speaker 2: don't like address the real things now, o Pee is

999
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 2: like probably not her ideal self, you know of like oh,

1000
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 2: taking controls and threatening sell like you don't become your ideal.

1001
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: Person when when you're mammified.

1002
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:53,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, when you're mommified but still making considerably less meaning

1003
00:44:53,840 --> 00:44:57,320
Speaker 2: I am continuing to overextend yourself to cover our monthly expenses.

1004
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,760
Speaker 2: My credit has taken a hit because I'd missed payments

1005
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:02,600
Speaker 2: to having to cover so much of the expenses. After

1006
00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:06,640
Speaker 2: almost five years together, four years of me managing all

1007
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 2: the expenses, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and doing most of the

1008
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:11,759
Speaker 2: work to care for all of our fur babies, I

1009
00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 2: had a moment of clarity where I realized I'm done.

1010
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, you realize that you shouldn't be the mother of

1011
00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:22,879
Speaker 1: this man.

1012
00:45:23,640 --> 00:45:25,799
Speaker 7: I mean, you shouldn't do anything. He just realized it,

1013
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:28,480
Speaker 7: but comes back action. Yes, that's the first step that's

1014
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 7: the first step. Realizing is the first step.

1015
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 2: Yes, I never signed up to raise a man who

1016
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 2: still acts like a teenager. Something I did mention, but

1017
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 2: it's worth noting is when we would fight, ninety percent

1018
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,279
Speaker 2: of the time it would escalate because of him. I'm

1019
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 2: a talker. He starts yelling, throwing things things, not men,

1020
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 2: like a three year old dude.

1021
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:51,320
Speaker 1: It is literally sow not me, but still red flag behavior.

1022
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,720
Speaker 2: Then starts crying and using self deprecation to the point

1023
00:45:54,719 --> 00:45:56,560
Speaker 2: that I somehow end up consoling him.

1024
00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 8: Yeah, they're almost forty, by the way, are dude almost forty?

1025
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 1: This is like freshman year high school behavior.

1026
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:12,439
Speaker 7: Yeah, dude, Oh my god. Yeah, forty is crazy. That's

1027
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 7: good in context, kion, Oh my god.

1028
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,440
Speaker 1: Then the next day he just acts like none of it.

1029
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 1: I wrappen.

1030
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 2: So back to the moment of clarity, where I may

1031
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 2: be an a hole. I have started to look into

1032
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:24,720
Speaker 2: apartments in the city. I have a serious lifelong medical

1033
00:46:24,719 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 2: condition and because of it, I can't drive.

1034
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 1: Wow, our town doesn't have.

1035
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,799
Speaker 2: Public transportation, so if I leave, I literally have to

1036
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:32,759
Speaker 2: move out of town. I've talked to one or two

1037
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 2: close friends about my plan to leave. We have five

1038
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,480
Speaker 2: months left on the lease, and because of the financial

1039
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 2: hole he dug me in, I don't have the money

1040
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:41,560
Speaker 2: I would need to break the lease and pay to

1041
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 2: move into a new place. Also, I need time to

1042
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,520
Speaker 2: figure out how to untangle our lives. We are both

1043
00:46:46,560 --> 00:46:48,439
Speaker 2: in the car, we have a shared phone plan, et cetera,

1044
00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 2: et cetera. Our lease is ending in August, and I

1045
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:53,479
Speaker 2: plan to move right after our last month of rent

1046
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,839
Speaker 2: is paid. The only reason I haven't told him yet

1047
00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,520
Speaker 2: is I don't trust him not to bail and leave

1048
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,840
Speaker 2: me paying for this big house on my own.

1049
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: By the way, you've heard of big houses.

1050
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:06,440
Speaker 2: Well, we built the foundation of this show by releasing

1051
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:09,920
Speaker 2: two thousand episodes on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, in your favorite

1052
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:13,480
Speaker 2: podcast out so Search, Okay, story Time and literally.

1053
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 1: Binge to your heart's content. Binge away, my pretties. I

1054
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:19,200
Speaker 1: promise you it'll be a fun ride.

1055
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 2: But sam Onto, this actually kind of interesting scenario where

1056
00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:25,880
Speaker 2: you our core tenant is communicate early and off.

1057
00:47:25,960 --> 00:47:28,000
Speaker 1: I mean, that's like what we always say. Op.

1058
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 2: He is in a bit of a pickle with this

1059
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 2: situation of like not wanting him to bail.

1060
00:47:33,920 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 7: I mean, he's shown he's very unreliable, But I mean,

1061
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 7: I think he's too addicted to mommy to actually bail.

1062
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:43,879
Speaker 7: I would still say communicate. Is also this is it's

1063
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:47,280
Speaker 7: all conjecture that you think you're gonna bail. I would

1064
00:47:47,280 --> 00:47:49,759
Speaker 7: say communicate. And if he's bails, then there's like I

1065
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 7: think way you could ask his parents. I think you

1066
00:47:52,040 --> 00:47:55,399
Speaker 7: could figure things out. I would I would communicate early enough.

1067
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:56,960
Speaker 7: And I think it still goes the name here.

1068
00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:00,400
Speaker 2: So I feel bad because I'm giving myself four to

1069
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:03,080
Speaker 2: five months to plan, prepare, and save. I plan to

1070
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:05,600
Speaker 2: tell him when we get our offer to renew, but

1071
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:07,880
Speaker 2: one of my friends says to not tell him until

1072
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:11,279
Speaker 2: July to ensure that I won't have to take all

1073
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 2: the expenses on my own for the next four months. Ah, dude,

1074
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:17,200
Speaker 2: I think you tell him early. I think you tell

1075
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 2: him because like and I know, like we don't know

1076
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 2: exactly how that will how f OPI's financial situation will be,

1077
00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:28,240
Speaker 2: But just to just to put the argument out there

1078
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:30,360
Speaker 2: sometimes like just having.

1079
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:32,400
Speaker 4: The weight of that off of your shoulders.

1080
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:36,879
Speaker 7: Yeah, you know, there you go, ma'am, our little two cents.

1081
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 7: But that's where that story ends.

1082
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 1: Oh, or we go a little bit more. We got

1083
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 1: a little bit more. Am I the a hole for

1084
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:42,799
Speaker 1: not telling him?

1085
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:44,400
Speaker 2: I planned to leave and give him the same amount

1086
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,319
Speaker 2: of time to get his plan in order as I'm

1087
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 2: giving myself.

1088
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 4: I kept my friend's marital status is secret. It made

1089
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 4: my wife furious.

1090
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:58,400
Speaker 3: Secret secrets are no fun unless you share them with everyone.

1091
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:02,080
Speaker 6: I thirty five, grew up with three other friends. The

1092
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 6: four of us were only children and lived in nearby houses,

1093
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:06,800
Speaker 6: which allowed us to spend a lot of time together,

1094
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,279
Speaker 6: so we practically grew up as brothers, and I can

1095
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:10,359
Speaker 6: consider them as such.

1096
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:10,839
Speaker 4: By the way.

1097
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,440
Speaker 6: This comes from user silent Anywhere ten eighty and if

1098
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:14,840
Speaker 6: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1099
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 6: r slash Okay storytime subreddit. One in particular, j thirty

1100
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:21,919
Speaker 6: six male has always been lucky with ladies. You could

1101
00:49:21,920 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 6: say he's a very good looking guy and has an

1102
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 6: established career an excellently catch. I suppose about eight years

1103
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:31,840
Speaker 6: ago I moved in with my then girlfriend thirty five female,

1104
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:35,760
Speaker 6: and Jake and the rest of my Broski's visitor visited

1105
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 6: us often. One afternoon, my girlfriend's sister, thirty three female,

1106
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 6: came to visit while Jake was at our house, and

1107
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:44,640
Speaker 6: they met my sister in law developed a crush on

1108
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 6: him immediately. When my girlfriend told me about it, I

1109
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 6: felt compelled to warn her she shouldn't get too close

1110
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 6: to him if she intended to have a long term relationship.

1111
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:56,880
Speaker 6: You see, Jake was mostly into one night stands at

1112
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:58,400
Speaker 6: the time and didn't believe in commitment.

1113
00:49:58,520 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 4: He was not the type to just use women for pleasure, like.

1114
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:02,360
Speaker 1: A predator or anything.

1115
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:04,279
Speaker 6: But I had heard him tell a couple of them

1116
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:06,400
Speaker 6: several times in a very cold way not to get

1117
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 6: their hopes up.

1118
00:50:07,080 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 4: He broke many hearts.

1119
00:50:08,160 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 3: Dang man, you're friends with a heartbreaker.

1120
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:14,480
Speaker 6: Despite my warnings, she didn't listen and for two years

1121
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 6: made it her personal mission to seduce him. He was

1122
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:20,920
Speaker 6: initially friendly and even flirty with her, but quickly turned

1123
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 6: into ignoring her when I told him I would be

1124
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 6: pissed if he messed up things enough to affect my

1125
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 6: own relationship. She never found out what I said, and

1126
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:31,040
Speaker 6: nothing else happened between them until my wedding day.

1127
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 3: Paul's real quick. That is kind of annoying, though, Yeah,

1128
00:50:34,080 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 3: what together? I were the sister in law and I'm

1129
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:38,800
Speaker 3: like and NP's like, hey, he's not looking for relationship,

1130
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,120
Speaker 3: and she's like, for sure flirting with them. He's flirting

1131
00:50:41,160 --> 00:50:43,279
Speaker 3: back with her op steps AND's like, don't do it.

1132
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, it goes.

1133
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 4: That's annoying because you're gonna mess up my relationship.

1134
00:50:46,719 --> 00:50:48,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd be like if I were the sister in law,

1135
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 3: I'd be like, dude, step off. I'm a big girl.

1136
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:51,800
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1137
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:54,319
Speaker 6: Jake and some other friends drank too much, and at

1138
00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:57,439
Speaker 6: some point Jake ended up in bed with sister in law.

1139
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:01,000
Speaker 6: He called me a few days later to apologize for

1140
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 6: any trouble he may have caused. I was confused and

1141
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:05,000
Speaker 6: didn't know what he was talking about, but he then

1142
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 6: told me he drank too much that night and and

1143
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:09,480
Speaker 6: all he could remember was waking up in sister in

1144
00:51:09,560 --> 00:51:12,360
Speaker 6: law's apartment the next morning, clothes lists and with a

1145
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:15,160
Speaker 6: massive hangover, to her making him breakfast. All he could

1146
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,280
Speaker 6: manage to do at that point was take his clothes

1147
00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,640
Speaker 6: and get the heck out of there. Sister in law

1148
00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 6: didn't like that at all, and although he apologized to

1149
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:24,640
Speaker 6: her later via text in the most polite way possible,

1150
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 6: he made it clear that what had happened was a

1151
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,719
Speaker 6: mistake and he wasn't interested in pursuing anything romantic with her,

1152
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 6: because any issues between them could create conflicts between my

1153
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:34,160
Speaker 6: wife and me in the long run.

1154
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:35,920
Speaker 1: She was still furious.

1155
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,840
Speaker 6: I had the opportunity to read their conversation, and I

1156
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:41,080
Speaker 6: can say he wasn't hurtful or cruel to her. He

1157
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:43,560
Speaker 6: apologized several times and repeated that it was all his

1158
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:45,800
Speaker 6: fault for not preventing things from going that far. But

1159
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 6: I could understand that running out of a girl's apartment

1160
00:51:48,160 --> 00:51:49,840
Speaker 6: and telling her that you basically don't want to have

1161
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:52,440
Speaker 6: anything to do with her after getting intimate was a

1162
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:54,760
Speaker 6: bad move. I was quite angry with him at first.

1163
00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 6: He shouldn't have been drinking to the point of being

1164
00:51:57,080 --> 00:51:59,319
Speaker 6: unaware of his actions, but I didn't think that was

1165
00:51:59,320 --> 00:52:01,120
Speaker 6: too big of a deal in the end, after all,

1166
00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,400
Speaker 6: I had warned sister in law that this would happen.

1167
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 6: Like an hour after I had spoken to Jake, sister

1168
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,879
Speaker 6: in law called my wife crying, saying he had used

1169
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 6: her and was now throwing her away. I don't have

1170
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:14,680
Speaker 6: all the details of their conversation, but my wife was furious.

1171
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:17,960
Speaker 6: She was comforting her sister by calling Jake all kinds

1172
00:52:17,960 --> 00:52:20,800
Speaker 6: of things. Meanwhile, I just resigned myself to wait for

1173
00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:23,560
Speaker 6: everything to resolve by itself. In the end, sister in

1174
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:26,200
Speaker 6: law convinced my wife to ask me to cut off

1175
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:28,799
Speaker 6: all contact with Jake and thus prevent the two of

1176
00:52:28,840 --> 00:52:30,319
Speaker 6: them from crossing paths again.

1177
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 4: Of course I didn't agree.

1178
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:34,920
Speaker 3: Ooh tricky, which she's tricky.

1179
00:52:35,120 --> 00:52:35,680
Speaker 1: I agree.

1180
00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:39,040
Speaker 6: You don't cut off a day one friend just because

1181
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:39,879
Speaker 6: someone's like I.

1182
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:40,680
Speaker 4: Just can't see them.

1183
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:43,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I wouldn't really pissed on my fleg. This

1184
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 3: is like this, Jake's an f boy and he needs

1185
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 3: to he needs to kind of sort out his stuff.

1186
00:52:48,600 --> 00:52:50,399
Speaker 3: I'm not saying cut him off or anything. They're day

1187
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:53,000
Speaker 3: one friends, but uh, i'd be like, dude, what are

1188
00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:55,840
Speaker 3: you doing? Proposal though I told you, even though I'm like,

1189
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 3: I don't know if you should have said anything in

1190
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 3: the first place, he said, don't mess with sister in

1191
00:53:00,480 --> 00:53:02,560
Speaker 3: law and then he did any way, and then he

1192
00:53:02,600 --> 00:53:02,960
Speaker 3: heard her.

1193
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:06,080
Speaker 6: It's not only was he told that, but sister in

1194
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 6: law was informed like, hey, yeah, mess around, this guy

1195
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 6: gonna get hurt. Snack and ann well, dude, it's it's

1196
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:13,280
Speaker 6: not what you want. She was like, I'm not gonna

1197
00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:15,280
Speaker 6: listen to that. That would not only be a punishment

1198
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:17,279
Speaker 6: for him, but also for me. He was like a

1199
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 6: brother to me, and I didn't think it was fair

1200
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:21,120
Speaker 6: for him to bear all of the blame. Not to mention,

1201
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:23,160
Speaker 6: I would have to lose one of my best friends.

1202
00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 6: The best I could offer was to stop inviting him

1203
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:27,360
Speaker 6: over to our house and to not mention him in

1204
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:29,480
Speaker 6: front of my wife or sister in law. My wife

1205
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 6: reluctantly agreed, and for several years I only got to

1206
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,359
Speaker 6: see my friend a couple of times every other month,

1207
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,720
Speaker 6: and even less. When my son was born, I started

1208
00:53:36,719 --> 00:53:38,920
Speaker 6: working from home to take care of the baby, and

1209
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 6: so my wife wouldn't have to bear the entire burden.

1210
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:43,759
Speaker 6: W op a couple of years later, when she became

1211
00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:46,120
Speaker 6: pregnant with my daughter and had to remain on bed

1212
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:48,880
Speaker 6: rest until birth due to some health issues. Communication between

1213
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:51,759
Speaker 6: Jake and I switched to strictly by phone. Two weeks ago.

1214
00:53:51,840 --> 00:53:54,800
Speaker 6: I finally felt enough time had passed since the incident,

1215
00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 6: which was six years ago, and it wouldn't be a

1216
00:53:57,520 --> 00:53:59,680
Speaker 6: problem inviting him over again. I told my wife I

1217
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:01,719
Speaker 6: wanted to hold to get together at our house and

1218
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:04,320
Speaker 6: invite my brothers and their families over, including Jake. She

1219
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:06,480
Speaker 6: thought it was an excellent idea. Most of them had

1220
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:08,680
Speaker 6: children almost the same age as ours, and it could

1221
00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:11,080
Speaker 6: result in a very fun evening. We all got prepared

1222
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 6: and the day arrived, and finally, after years, I was

1223
00:54:14,080 --> 00:54:16,279
Speaker 6: able to get together with all my best friends like

1224
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 6: old time. The children were playing together in the backyard

1225
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,080
Speaker 6: while my bros, their partners, and I were enjoying the barbecue.

1226
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,800
Speaker 6: Everything was going well until I heard my wife's mischievous

1227
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:29,040
Speaker 6: laugh behind me. She had left the house shortly after

1228
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 6: Jake's arrival. She was looking towards the entrance and sister

1229
00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 6: in law was coming in wearing a very tight and

1230
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:37,960
Speaker 6: revealing dress and was walking towards us in a triumphant

1231
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:42,480
Speaker 6: parade while looking subtly towards Jake's direction with a cocky smirt.

1232
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 3: Dude, that's kind of embarrassing. It's been six years and

1233
00:54:45,600 --> 00:54:49,000
Speaker 3: six years and you had one you hooked up once.

1234
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:52,520
Speaker 6: She sat next to my wife and didn't say anything

1235
00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:55,560
Speaker 6: at first, so we just continued chatting. But then as

1236
00:54:55,680 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 6: we were talking about how much our lives have changed

1237
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:00,720
Speaker 6: after marriage, she started throwing comments about and how stupid

1238
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:03,360
Speaker 6: men can be letting escape the opportunity to have a

1239
00:55:03,360 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 6: good woman by their side, just because they are afraid

1240
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:08,040
Speaker 6: of commitment, not realizing how lucky they may have been

1241
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:11,000
Speaker 6: until it's too late, all while posing like she was

1242
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,719
Speaker 6: the ultimate prize. So I guess both sister in law

1243
00:55:13,719 --> 00:55:16,160
Speaker 6: and my wife were too busy with their show to

1244
00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:19,880
Speaker 6: notice the rest of us exchanging uncomfortable looks, and even worse,

1245
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:23,440
Speaker 6: sitting next to Jake was his very pregnant wife. Dang,

1246
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:26,759
Speaker 6: he settled down to whom he has been married for

1247
00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 6: almost four years.

1248
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:31,440
Speaker 3: That's really embarrassing to wait to be thinking about this

1249
00:55:31,480 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 3: for six years. This is not like they dated for

1250
00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:37,319
Speaker 3: a year. And he was like, Okay, come, this is

1251
00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:40,560
Speaker 3: like one night, yeah that he doesn't remember.

1252
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, not even a night to remember, a night to night,

1253
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:45,879
Speaker 6: a night to not remember. I cleared my throat, trying

1254
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 6: to get my wife's attention, and whispered into her ear

1255
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:51,640
Speaker 6: who the woman whose presence she seemed unaware of was.

1256
00:55:51,960 --> 00:55:54,919
Speaker 6: My wife turned red like a tomato and ran into

1257
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 6: the house in horror, dragging her confused sister by the arm.

1258
00:55:58,080 --> 00:56:00,440
Speaker 6: They did not return to the gathering, and I decided

1259
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:03,160
Speaker 6: to end it shortly after when everyone had left and

1260
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:05,120
Speaker 6: I put the kids to bed, I went to talk

1261
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:06,759
Speaker 6: to my wife and sister in law. They were in

1262
00:56:06,920 --> 00:56:11,239
Speaker 6: the master bedroom, both rying in embarrassment. They, as in

1263
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:14,799
Speaker 6: both of them, had planned a show to annoy Jake,

1264
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 6: believing he was still the same womanizing clown. They wanted

1265
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:21,120
Speaker 6: him to feel regret for rejecting sister in law. I

1266
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 6: don't understand what they thought they would accomplish. Even if

1267
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:26,440
Speaker 6: he were still single after six years, the chances of

1268
00:56:26,520 --> 00:56:30,080
Speaker 6: him feeling something for her, or even caring of her existence,

1269
00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:32,839
Speaker 6: were far from certain. I told them that, and they

1270
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:36,759
Speaker 6: exploded in anger, blaming me for their humiliation. They believed

1271
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:38,880
Speaker 6: it was my fault for not informing them that he

1272
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 6: was now married.

1273
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 3: You guys, as not to be told about Jake. These

1274
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 3: women are embarrassing. These women are embarrassing.

1275
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 6: Jake's engagement and wedding happened during my daughter's risky pregnancy,

1276
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:51,720
Speaker 6: when my wife and I were too focused on trying

1277
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:53,799
Speaker 6: not to lose our baby, so I couldn't attend any

1278
00:56:53,840 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 6: of the events. And I guess with everything going on,

1279
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:57,600
Speaker 6: I never got to tell my wife anything about my

1280
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,759
Speaker 6: best friend's romantic life, not to mention the fact they

1281
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 6: literally explicit who told you to stop talking about him,

1282
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:03,520
Speaker 6: know anything?

1283
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,880
Speaker 3: And also, you had a baby. You had a baby,

1284
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:08,520
Speaker 3: and your wife is acting like this too.

1285
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:10,680
Speaker 4: Two babies, actually, yeah, cool.

1286
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:14,040
Speaker 3: Babies, and she's like still focusing on this six.

1287
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:16,920
Speaker 6: Year Yeah, sister in law. Wife and sister in law

1288
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 6: are like the toxic duo. My wife and I were

1289
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 6: the only ones at the barbecue, and sister in law

1290
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 6: obviously who had not attended Jake's wedding, so sister in

1291
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:28,400
Speaker 6: law's behavior looked odd and overall ridiculous. Now I'm being

1292
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:31,960
Speaker 6: accused of causing their public shame by not telling them

1293
00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,640
Speaker 6: about Jake's personal life. Honestly, I have no idea how

1294
00:57:34,680 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 6: almost four years passed without the topic coming up in

1295
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:39,480
Speaker 6: any conversation between my wife and I. I think I

1296
00:57:39,640 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 6: just got used to us not talking about him after

1297
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,040
Speaker 6: the incident. Even stranger is the fact that none of

1298
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 6: my other friends or their wives who are close to

1299
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:49,360
Speaker 6: mine ever mentioned it either. I think we just kept

1300
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 6: it a secret unintentionally. But we need to talk about

1301
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:53,680
Speaker 6: the fact that you can listen to full episodes with

1302
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:58,880
Speaker 6: stories like this one on Spotify, Apple podcasts, on iHeartRadio,

1303
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:02,200
Speaker 6: wherever you listen to. Just search Okay story Time and

1304
00:58:02,600 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 6: we have twelve hundred and fifty plus hours of stories

1305
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:08,560
Speaker 6: for you to listen to at your own, you know,

1306
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 6: at your discretion. Anyway, we do have a little bit

1307
00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:13,080
Speaker 6: more story left, Sophia, do you have any anything to add.

1308
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 3: Your lordy, lordy, lordy. I would just be rethinking my

1309
00:58:17,040 --> 00:58:20,080
Speaker 3: relationship a lot if I were Opie, which is concerned.

1310
00:58:20,200 --> 00:58:23,640
Speaker 3: I mean, like, obviously this is not like divorce territory or anything.

1311
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 6: They have two kids, but yeah, it's definitely like why

1312
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:28,040
Speaker 6: do you get this way with your It seems like

1313
00:58:28,080 --> 00:58:28,760
Speaker 6: it's like the sister.

1314
00:58:28,840 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 4: It's like, yeah, I'd be like, you need.

1315
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:34,560
Speaker 3: To like rethink your or like reassess your relationship with

1316
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:38,040
Speaker 3: your sister, because clearly you guys are very obsessive when

1317
00:58:38,080 --> 00:58:41,160
Speaker 3: you get together, and you need not like your sister

1318
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:43,680
Speaker 3: cannot be obsessing over this relationship that happens, like not

1319
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 3: a relationship, this one night thing that happened six years ago.

1320
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:48,800
Speaker 4: Why are you enabling your your sisters?

1321
00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:50,800
Speaker 6: You know, That's what I'd be like, why do you

1322
00:58:50,840 --> 00:58:53,400
Speaker 6: feel like it's cool to enable her behavior in this way?

1323
00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 4: Because that's not positive.

1324
00:58:54,840 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 3: Wouldn't you rather she find a nice man?

1325
00:58:57,760 --> 00:58:58,600
Speaker 4: Let's finish it off.

1326
00:58:58,720 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 6: So anyways, it's in two weeks and my wife is

1327
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:02,880
Speaker 6: still angry.

1328
00:59:03,160 --> 00:59:06,320
Speaker 4: Am I the a hole? And there is some PostScript here.

1329
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,960
Speaker 6: Jake and his wife welcomed a pair of twins yesterday,

1330
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 6: a May baby blessed edit. Those are our current because

1331
00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,240
Speaker 6: we're all in our mid thirties, and I can understand

1332
00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 6: why she Jake's wife didn't notice her when they entered

1333
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:20,680
Speaker 6: the house. Jake and his wife were the last to arrive,

1334
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:23,520
Speaker 6: and the barbecue had been going on for a while.

1335
00:59:24,120 --> 00:59:25,920
Speaker 6: My wife was in the kitchen when I rushed over

1336
00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:28,440
Speaker 6: to greet them, and as soon as she heard Jake's voice,

1337
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:31,360
Speaker 6: she said she'd forgotten something and left. By this time,

1338
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:33,840
Speaker 6: they were out in the backyard greeting everyone else. Our

1339
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 6: back door is in the living room, so my wife

1340
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:37,880
Speaker 6: didn't run into them when she left, But that doesn't

1341
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:40,120
Speaker 6: explain how she didn't notice Jake's wife when she came back.

1342
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:42,120
Speaker 6: The woman was sitting right next to him. It was

1343
00:59:42,200 --> 00:59:44,920
Speaker 6: truly a WTF moment. And that is the end of

1344
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:45,480
Speaker 6: that story.

1345
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 3: Man, Omen, she's.

1346
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:48,560
Speaker 4: Still mad at you after two weeks.

1347
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:50,240
Speaker 3: Man, oh man, I mean she's still obsessed her, like

1348
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:54,040
Speaker 3: after six years. So these women know how to hold grudges,

1349
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:54,680
Speaker 3: and I'm.

1350
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:57,880
Speaker 6: Arning, yeah, it's just like it just runs in the family.

1351
00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:01,600
Speaker 4: Grudge grudge, Yeah, I would just like if she's still mad,

1352
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:03,280
Speaker 4: it's like, all right, let's break this down.

1353
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:06,720
Speaker 6: I did this to you, right, So for six years

1354
01:00:07,000 --> 01:00:09,640
Speaker 6: I forced your sister to be obsessed with this guy

1355
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 6: that I told her not to get involved with because

1356
01:00:11,840 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 6: it would get her feelings hurt. And then I forced

1357
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 6: you to also. I forced us to not talk about Jake,

1358
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 6: which is what you said you wanted. You said, no

1359
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:22,480
Speaker 6: more talking, no talking about Jake.

1360
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:23,200
Speaker 1: So I did that.

1361
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 6: And now somehow it's my fault that y'all didn't know

1362
01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:30,280
Speaker 6: Jake's wife was there, and you did this embarrassing little

1363
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:33,120
Speaker 6: You embarrassed yourself crying in the bedroom.

1364
01:00:33,280 --> 01:00:36,320
Speaker 4: Wild both the thing is in your thirties.

1365
01:00:36,080 --> 01:00:38,800
Speaker 3: Like it would already be like insane that that's the

1366
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,920
Speaker 3: sister in law's crying, but like the wife is crying.

1367
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:43,000
Speaker 4: I can't make it.

1368
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:44,000
Speaker 1: I can't believe.

1369
01:00:44,080 --> 01:00:49,720
Speaker 3: I can't believe my husband embarrassed us like this. It's crazy.

1370
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:50,760
Speaker 3: I need to grow up.

1371
01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 7: I'm on now, Sam, here, we're gonna get back to

1372
01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:56,280
Speaker 7: the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsors.

1373
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:59,920
Speaker 3: My husband's father got a DUI and my in law

1374
01:01:00,120 --> 01:01:01,040
Speaker 3: say it's our fault.

1375
01:01:01,160 --> 01:01:03,000
Speaker 6: Well, it looks like you're going to be going to

1376
01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:04,840
Speaker 6: jail for your in laws now.

1377
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:07,920
Speaker 3: Seven years ago. I began dating my now husband Sam

1378
01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:10,960
Speaker 3: when we were sixteen years old. When I met his mom, Sue,

1379
01:01:10,960 --> 01:01:13,680
Speaker 3: things appeared to be great. Sue was a successful business

1380
01:01:13,720 --> 01:01:16,640
Speaker 3: woman and the life of the party, entertaining us with gossip.

1381
01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:19,880
Speaker 3: Looking back, it was extremely hurtful and over the toppling

1382
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:23,120
Speaker 3: high school girls and starting heart hurtful rumors about nice

1383
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:25,280
Speaker 3: neighbors who live next door. By the way, this comes

1384
01:01:25,280 --> 01:01:27,640
Speaker 3: from obviously amish and if you want to smit your

1385
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 3: own stories, go to our slash Okay storytime suppered it.

1386
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:32,840
Speaker 3: Two years went by and things were still great. His

1387
01:01:32,920 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 3: parents would always take us out to dinner and bring

1388
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:37,040
Speaker 3: me along on trips. It would go to Mexico for

1389
01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:39,680
Speaker 3: weeks at a time, and we now know they were

1390
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:43,080
Speaker 3: going to get wasted and probably do other substances. The

1391
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:46,200
Speaker 3: mom has an open painkiller prescription and hasn't had a

1392
01:01:46,280 --> 01:01:49,560
Speaker 3: serious procedure in years. They would give Sam a talk

1393
01:01:49,760 --> 01:01:52,080
Speaker 3: every time before they left. If anything were to happen

1394
01:01:52,120 --> 01:01:54,640
Speaker 3: to us. Here's what would happen with the biz, the kids,

1395
01:01:54,680 --> 01:01:56,960
Speaker 3: et cetera. We were always told not to tell people

1396
01:01:57,000 --> 01:01:59,400
Speaker 3: they were gone, and we never really knew exactly why.

1397
01:01:59,520 --> 01:02:03,000
Speaker 3: These disturbed Sam, making him feel like something bad was

1398
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:04,680
Speaker 3: going on. We were left to take care of their

1399
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:06,880
Speaker 3: younger kids, as my husband is the oldest, but we

1400
01:02:06,880 --> 01:02:09,040
Speaker 3: didn't mind. We were teens in a nice house with

1401
01:02:09,120 --> 01:02:12,320
Speaker 3: no parental supervision. We drove the kids to sports practices,

1402
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:15,600
Speaker 3: attended the games and performances, and did everything else a

1403
01:02:15,680 --> 01:02:18,600
Speaker 3: parent would do. My husband has been doing this since fourteen. Yes,

1404
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:22,200
Speaker 3: even driving, Wow. We mostly Sam also did back to

1405
01:02:22,200 --> 01:02:25,480
Speaker 3: school shopping for their kids for years, and we celebrated

1406
01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:28,120
Speaker 3: the youngest kid's birthday on the same day. They always

1407
01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:30,280
Speaker 3: managed to be gone for his birthday for longer than

1408
01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:32,520
Speaker 3: I had been around, and for years to come. They

1409
01:02:32,680 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 3: never missed Sam's birthday until Sam and I got married

1410
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:38,200
Speaker 3: and spent his birthday out of town. Don't worry, Sue

1411
01:02:38,280 --> 01:02:40,960
Speaker 3: made sure to let me know they were devastated over it.

1412
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:43,680
Speaker 3: Things were great. We would watch their kids and they

1413
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:45,600
Speaker 3: would take us all on trips and out to dinners,

1414
01:02:45,680 --> 01:02:49,880
Speaker 3: providing financial opportunities that is until I broke up with Sam.

1415
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:52,120
Speaker 3: We talked about marriage, but I wasn't sure I wanted

1416
01:02:52,160 --> 01:02:54,680
Speaker 3: to be with him because it was a messy teen relationship.

1417
01:02:54,720 --> 01:02:56,960
Speaker 3: It was a clean break. We ultimately agreed it would

1418
01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:59,479
Speaker 3: be best to date other people and maybe revisit dating

1419
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:01,640
Speaker 3: each other in the future, so we broke up and

1420
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:05,280
Speaker 3: started going on other dates again. We lived practically next door.

1421
01:03:05,360 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 3: Everything was fine until I started dating the guy with

1422
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:10,800
Speaker 3: the nice car. Suddenly Sue was sending her husband to

1423
01:03:10,840 --> 01:03:13,400
Speaker 3: walk the dog, even though that was something he never did.

1424
01:03:13,520 --> 01:03:15,600
Speaker 3: He would just stare at me and this guy when

1425
01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:17,800
Speaker 3: he'd come to pick me up. Fast forward, Sam and

1426
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:20,680
Speaker 3: I got back together. Everything turned out well, and we've

1427
01:03:20,680 --> 01:03:23,480
Speaker 3: been happily married, but not without some work. I assumed

1428
01:03:23,560 --> 01:03:26,320
Speaker 3: everything would be okay. I thought Sue wanted the best

1429
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:29,600
Speaker 3: for us. Immediately there was trouble. Sue alerted Sam not

1430
01:03:29,800 --> 01:03:31,880
Speaker 3: to get back together with me. She had heard from

1431
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:33,720
Speaker 3: someone that I had been engaged to the guy with

1432
01:03:33,800 --> 01:03:36,440
Speaker 3: the nice car. That wasn't true. When it was suggested

1433
01:03:36,440 --> 01:03:38,520
Speaker 3: that she was lying, she left the house and wouldn't

1434
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:41,200
Speaker 3: come back until people were on her side. After that,

1435
01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 3: I noticed Sam would only bring me around when his

1436
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:46,280
Speaker 3: parents were asleep. I also noticed his siblings starting to

1437
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 3: turn on me, blaming their friend problems on Sam and

1438
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:52,600
Speaker 3: me getting back together. They're like, Mercury is in retrogade

1439
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:55,240
Speaker 3: and Sam and Oh Pierre back together, So my friend

1440
01:03:55,240 --> 01:03:56,280
Speaker 3: group is not working out.

1441
01:03:56,400 --> 01:04:02,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, your relationship shifts the entire Glowe Mobal relationship axis.

1442
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:03,320
Speaker 3: They even worked that out.

1443
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:08,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, everyone, everyone's dynamic is in shambles because Oh Pie's back.

1444
01:04:09,840 --> 01:04:12,200
Speaker 3: I'm assuming it was Sue working on them to make

1445
01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:15,400
Speaker 3: me feel unwelcome. Months later, when our paths finally crossed,

1446
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:17,720
Speaker 3: she looked at me like I was gum on her shoe.

1447
01:04:17,800 --> 01:04:19,960
Speaker 3: She didn't speak to me for six months. I was

1448
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:21,960
Speaker 3: in agony over this because I didn't know what I

1449
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:25,280
Speaker 3: had done to deserve all this. Surely I had done something.

1450
01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:29,400
Speaker 3: One day, she randomly came around, acting as if nothing

1451
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:32,320
Speaker 3: had happened, like we were the best of friends. Her

1452
01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:34,760
Speaker 3: shutting me still hasn't been mentioned to this day. She

1453
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:37,240
Speaker 3: began giving me gifts and taking me on trips again.

1454
01:04:37,520 --> 01:04:40,240
Speaker 3: All was well until Sam and I got into an argument.

1455
01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:43,120
Speaker 3: He confided in his mom and instantly knew it was

1456
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:46,280
Speaker 3: the last time he ever would. Yeah, that was a mistake.

1457
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:47,560
Speaker 3: That was a mistake.

1458
01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:51,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, don't run to your mom to be like mae

1459
01:04:52,120 --> 01:04:54,320
Speaker 6: my relationship fight me fight yeah.

1460
01:04:54,360 --> 01:04:54,520
Speaker 1: Oh.

1461
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:56,720
Speaker 3: She texted my mom, Sam and I were nineteen at

1462
01:04:56,720 --> 01:04:58,560
Speaker 3: this point, and told her to make sure we stayed

1463
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:01,400
Speaker 3: apart for exactly two weeks. Not sure why two weeks.

1464
01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:04,880
Speaker 3: My mom, a people pleaser like me, kindly declined, which

1465
01:05:04,880 --> 01:05:07,920
Speaker 3: Sue responded, make it happen now. I was mad she

1466
01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 3: was ordering my mom around like one of her assistants

1467
01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:12,840
Speaker 3: and trying to split us up. If being confused about

1468
01:05:12,880 --> 01:05:15,760
Speaker 3: the unexplained silence for six months and lying about me

1469
01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:18,960
Speaker 3: wasn't enough, this was. I didn't want to spend much

1470
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:21,440
Speaker 3: time around Sue, and Sam respected that. When we did

1471
01:05:21,520 --> 01:05:23,600
Speaker 3: spend time around her, we were met by what I

1472
01:05:23,640 --> 01:05:26,560
Speaker 3: now know were passive aggressive comments like you and i't

1473
01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:29,240
Speaker 3: want to be on Sue's bad side. He he he

1474
01:05:29,800 --> 01:05:32,000
Speaker 3: is this what Sue saying? The gifts I would receive

1475
01:05:32,040 --> 01:05:35,440
Speaker 3: were also passive aggressive. After finding a pregnancy test in

1476
01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:37,960
Speaker 3: Sam's truck, which had been wrapped up and tucked away,

1477
01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:42,680
Speaker 3: Sue bought me maternity outfits. I then began noticing weird occurrences.

1478
01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:45,960
Speaker 3: Sue had two or three female assistants, all way hot

1479
01:05:46,040 --> 01:05:48,920
Speaker 3: and single. Sometimes I would drive around with Sam and

1480
01:05:48,960 --> 01:05:50,840
Speaker 3: work for my laptop while he worked. He worked for

1481
01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:53,680
Speaker 3: the family business. Sue would call demanding one of the

1482
01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:56,960
Speaker 3: assistants needed help with something. Sue never knew. I was

1483
01:05:57,000 --> 01:05:59,720
Speaker 3: with Sam and heard everything she would say. We'd show

1484
01:05:59,800 --> 01:06:02,480
Speaker 3: up to her house where just the assistant would be waiting.

1485
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:04,880
Speaker 3: He was always something stupid. One time, one of the

1486
01:06:04,920 --> 01:06:07,440
Speaker 3: assistants said, I don't know why your mom told you

1487
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:10,720
Speaker 3: I needed help moving the six pound Christmas tree loel.

1488
01:06:10,920 --> 01:06:13,280
Speaker 3: There was a lot of weirdness around Sue and her assistance.

1489
01:06:13,480 --> 01:06:15,400
Speaker 3: It's nothing I can prove, but I feel like she

1490
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:18,160
Speaker 3: was trying to get her beloved assistants and Sam together.

1491
01:06:18,320 --> 01:06:21,040
Speaker 3: She always talked about these girls so highly around me.

1492
01:06:21,200 --> 01:06:24,760
Speaker 3: Through all of this, we continued to be parents, which

1493
01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:27,560
Speaker 3: gave me some good points with Sue because they invited

1494
01:06:27,640 --> 01:06:29,400
Speaker 3: us on one of the Mexico trips with the friends

1495
01:06:29,400 --> 01:06:32,520
Speaker 3: who had reconnected with Long story short. While in Mexico,

1496
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:35,000
Speaker 3: her friend and I talked. Sue had just stopped talking

1497
01:06:35,040 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 3: to this friend Cold Turkey for five years and then

1498
01:06:37,360 --> 01:06:39,920
Speaker 3: suddenly wanted to reconnect. She had no idea why I

1499
01:06:39,960 --> 01:06:43,600
Speaker 3: then realized this was the woman Sue claimed was a crazy,

1500
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:46,600
Speaker 3: bipolar stalker, only I wasn't getting those vibes at all.

1501
01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:48,400
Speaker 3: I still wonder if I should say something to the

1502
01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:51,640
Speaker 3: friend Portly after this friend became the key to plentiful

1503
01:06:51,760 --> 01:06:56,280
Speaker 3: financial opportunities for Sue's daughter. Weird timing mmmm, So Sue

1504
01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:58,600
Speaker 3: who only gets back together or like lets people back

1505
01:06:58,640 --> 01:06:59,440
Speaker 3: into her life when she.

1506
01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:02,440
Speaker 4: Needs them, Sue's She's a little schemer, Sue the schemer.

1507
01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:03,440
Speaker 4: Schem and Sue.

1508
01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:07,000
Speaker 3: Time passed and Sue and I tolerated each other. Many

1509
01:07:07,080 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 3: interactions were filled with passive aggressiveness, self and other demeaning comments,

1510
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:14,080
Speaker 3: and her playing the victim in every story. I'll admit

1511
01:07:14,240 --> 01:07:16,800
Speaker 3: I hated Sue, but never stood up to her because

1512
01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:19,200
Speaker 3: of my fear of conflict. I've noticed the rest of

1513
01:07:19,240 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 3: the family is similar in this way, especially Sue's husband.

1514
01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:24,680
Speaker 3: They have endured a lot of screaming and verbal abuse,

1515
01:07:25,040 --> 01:07:27,680
Speaker 3: usually passed off as oh, I'm just a sarcastic person,

1516
01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:31,160
Speaker 3: if excused at all. The way I retaliated and coped

1517
01:07:31,160 --> 01:07:34,000
Speaker 3: with my confusion was just by not coming around often.

1518
01:07:34,120 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 3: Fast forward, we got engaged up at their family cabin

1519
01:07:36,600 --> 01:07:38,640
Speaker 3: When we came back to tell Sue, she kind of

1520
01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:42,040
Speaker 3: acknowledged it, saying, well, you guys will probably have cute kits,

1521
01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:44,360
Speaker 3: and then went back to changing the sheets on the bed.

1522
01:07:44,480 --> 01:07:47,600
Speaker 3: When we invited them to celebrate, they declined, saying they

1523
01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:50,760
Speaker 3: were too tired. Several minutes later, there were pictures posted

1524
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:53,720
Speaker 3: of me on her story telling her followers how excited

1525
01:07:53,760 --> 01:07:56,080
Speaker 3: she was to get another daughter. So wait, so they're

1526
01:07:56,080 --> 01:07:58,520
Speaker 3: telling you guys one thing, or like acting one way

1527
01:07:58,600 --> 01:08:01,600
Speaker 3: towards you guys, and then and being all excited online.

1528
01:08:01,680 --> 01:08:04,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, the public face is like, we're so happy.

1529
01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:08,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't care. I don't care about your babies.

1530
01:08:09,920 --> 01:08:12,600
Speaker 3: The next few months of wedding prep were hchy, double

1531
01:08:12,640 --> 01:08:15,320
Speaker 3: hockey sticks. I think she was on better behavior, but

1532
01:08:15,440 --> 01:08:17,400
Speaker 3: I wasn't by much. I don't even want to get

1533
01:08:17,439 --> 01:08:20,000
Speaker 3: into it all. One thing she was particularly pissed about

1534
01:08:20,040 --> 01:08:21,720
Speaker 3: was that we were getting our own place and not

1535
01:08:21,880 --> 01:08:25,200
Speaker 3: moving into their basement as we originally plan. No live

1536
01:08:25,240 --> 01:08:28,960
Speaker 3: in babysitters. Again, very passive aggressive. I would never spend

1537
01:08:29,040 --> 01:08:31,320
Speaker 3: that much money on such a small apartment. You guys

1538
01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:33,160
Speaker 3: will probably just move in with us at some point,

1539
01:08:33,280 --> 01:08:36,800
Speaker 3: don't move in with them. Whatever, you do, don't move

1540
01:08:36,840 --> 01:08:39,880
Speaker 3: in with them. The wedding finally was over and we

1541
01:08:39,920 --> 01:08:42,120
Speaker 3: went on our honeymoon, which was paid and planned for

1542
01:08:42,240 --> 01:08:44,840
Speaker 3: by Sam's parents. It was very nice. We got back

1543
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,439
Speaker 3: just in time to watch their remaining kid so they

1544
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:50,160
Speaker 3: could go to their family cabins several hours away and

1545
01:08:50,200 --> 01:08:51,559
Speaker 3: stay for a few weeks.

1546
01:08:51,760 --> 01:08:53,960
Speaker 4: Two weeks, they just left the room.

1547
01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:56,000
Speaker 3: What do you mean the remaining kid? They're like, I

1548
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:57,720
Speaker 3: don't know, the leftover one can stay with you.

1549
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, you sep the leftover make sure the I.

1550
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:02,679
Speaker 3: Don't know, he's like four years old. He's probably fine.

1551
01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:04,760
Speaker 4: I don't think he really needs water. I just think

1552
01:09:04,760 --> 01:09:05,639
Speaker 4: he needs a little food.

1553
01:09:06,160 --> 01:09:08,479
Speaker 3: Yeah. Sometimes we will give him a pat on the

1554
01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:09,840
Speaker 3: back and he's set.

1555
01:09:10,080 --> 01:09:12,879
Speaker 4: Very seldom, yeah, kind of like a cab.

1556
01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:16,400
Speaker 3: Really, they didn't frequent Mexico as often because once the

1557
01:09:16,400 --> 01:09:18,960
Speaker 3: cabin was finished, I think that's where they want where

1558
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:22,840
Speaker 3: they would unwind substances and alcohol, usually leaving Sam with

1559
01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:24,679
Speaker 3: a lot of pieces to pick up with the business.

1560
01:09:24,840 --> 01:09:27,599
Speaker 3: He was most definitely not being paid enough to run it.

1561
01:09:27,920 --> 01:09:30,719
Speaker 3: We eventually told them we would no longer be parents.

1562
01:09:30,880 --> 01:09:32,559
Speaker 3: If you're not gonna watch him, at least pick him

1563
01:09:32,640 --> 01:09:34,680
Speaker 3: up and drop him off at school. He declined, she

1564
01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:38,240
Speaker 3: had her assistance to it instead, more past aggressiveness. I

1565
01:09:38,280 --> 01:09:41,400
Speaker 3: felt horrible, only because now the younger sibling was all alone,

1566
01:09:41,680 --> 01:09:43,720
Speaker 3: left for weeks at a time, with an assistant to

1567
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:47,559
Speaker 3: check on him occasionally. Okay, fast forward again about six

1568
01:09:47,600 --> 01:09:49,560
Speaker 3: months ago. I felt like it was going to explode

1569
01:09:49,600 --> 01:09:52,439
Speaker 3: over this. Honestly, over the years when all of these

1570
01:09:52,439 --> 01:09:54,840
Speaker 3: things were going on, I didn't really know what to think.

1571
01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:58,240
Speaker 3: I felt confused. Yes, Sue was doing all of these things,

1572
01:09:58,280 --> 01:10:00,160
Speaker 3: but I was taught to turn the other cheek and

1573
01:10:00,200 --> 01:10:02,639
Speaker 3: give people a break who had hard childhoods et cetera,

1574
01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:05,080
Speaker 3: automatically making me the one and the wrong for not

1575
01:10:05,160 --> 01:10:07,879
Speaker 3: forgiving and not spending much time around her. My family

1576
01:10:07,960 --> 01:10:11,679
Speaker 3: only knew the extremely generous and funny personality of Sue,

1577
01:10:11,920 --> 01:10:14,320
Speaker 3: so when I confined it in them, it always made

1578
01:10:14,360 --> 01:10:17,960
Speaker 3: me more confused. Was I seeing things? Was I overreacting?

1579
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:20,760
Speaker 3: Was it all me? I finally lost it and said

1580
01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:23,320
Speaker 3: I wanted to go no contact because of how confused

1581
01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:26,439
Speaker 3: I was. Sam respected that within two weeks of no contact,

1582
01:10:26,680 --> 01:10:29,639
Speaker 3: something happened that I wasn't expecting. My love for Art

1583
01:10:29,760 --> 01:10:33,280
Speaker 3: came back two more weeks my migraines produced by ninety percent.

1584
01:10:33,640 --> 01:10:37,000
Speaker 3: Sue went kind of quiet and at business meetings, according

1585
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:39,200
Speaker 3: to Sam, was more pleasant. I was starting to feel

1586
01:10:39,200 --> 01:10:42,240
Speaker 3: like maybe things would end up okay and we could

1587
01:10:42,280 --> 01:10:45,160
Speaker 3: reconnect at some point with a strong set of boundaries.

1588
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:48,880
Speaker 3: It all changed in an instance. A few months went

1589
01:10:48,920 --> 01:10:51,960
Speaker 3: by and it all came crashing down. Sam's dad got

1590
01:10:52,080 --> 01:10:55,679
Speaker 3: a duy driving back from the family cabin around one am.

1591
01:10:55,840 --> 01:10:59,080
Speaker 3: Sam's phone started buzzing. It was Sue. She was hysterical

1592
01:10:59,120 --> 01:11:01,160
Speaker 3: her husband had been a did after she sent him

1593
01:11:01,200 --> 01:11:03,040
Speaker 3: home from the cabin. He claim she didn't know he

1594
01:11:03,120 --> 01:11:03,719
Speaker 3: was wasted.

1595
01:11:05,880 --> 01:11:08,240
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go ahead and say I doubt that.

1596
01:11:08,360 --> 01:11:11,200
Speaker 3: She probably just didn't think he was, maybe at a level,

1597
01:11:11,280 --> 01:11:14,839
Speaker 3: but like they go there for the explit like express

1598
01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:17,320
Speaker 3: purpose of drinking and newing substances.

1599
01:11:17,439 --> 01:11:20,080
Speaker 4: It's like, sorry, I forgot what sobriety actually was.

1600
01:11:20,160 --> 01:11:21,400
Speaker 3: I don't know what the baseline is.

1601
01:11:21,560 --> 01:11:23,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought it was. I thought we were all good.

1602
01:11:23,680 --> 01:11:24,240
Speaker 1: I was wrong.

1603
01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:27,080
Speaker 3: Sam tried to calm her down, and she proceeded to say,

1604
01:11:27,280 --> 01:11:28,880
Speaker 3: do you want to know why he did this? Do

1605
01:11:28,920 --> 01:11:31,639
Speaker 3: you really want to know? It's because he's really, really sad.

1606
01:11:32,000 --> 01:11:34,400
Speaker 3: Further contact revealed she was talking about him being sad

1607
01:11:34,439 --> 01:11:37,599
Speaker 3: about our no contact. It felt like she was blaming us,

1608
01:11:37,800 --> 01:11:41,040
Speaker 3: and guess what, I felt extremely guilty.

1609
01:11:41,240 --> 01:11:41,439
Speaker 4: No.

1610
01:11:42,240 --> 01:11:45,759
Speaker 3: I was close to ending the no contact. Thankfully, Sam

1611
01:11:45,920 --> 01:11:47,880
Speaker 3: is the voice of reason in my life, and it

1612
01:11:48,000 --> 01:11:50,840
Speaker 3: urged me not to. I eventually realized that these things

1613
01:11:50,880 --> 01:11:53,800
Speaker 3: had happened before a few years back. Sam's dad got

1614
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:56,360
Speaker 3: sad then weeks did and started driving their car to

1615
01:11:56,560 --> 01:12:00,679
Speaker 3: over one hundred through neighborhoods. They didn't get caught, wow,

1616
01:12:00,840 --> 01:12:03,080
Speaker 3: but Sam had to physically restrain him.

1617
01:12:03,160 --> 01:12:03,960
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

1618
01:12:04,080 --> 01:12:06,720
Speaker 3: What was so eerie about the whole DUI situation was

1619
01:12:06,760 --> 01:12:09,760
Speaker 3: when Sue's sister, another voice of reason, got in touch

1620
01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:12,439
Speaker 3: with Sam. She was way more concerned about getting Sue

1621
01:12:12,439 --> 01:12:14,919
Speaker 3: help than the very person who just got a DUI.

1622
01:12:15,280 --> 01:12:18,439
Speaker 3: We still don't know why. Whatever it is, Sue's sister

1623
01:12:19,240 --> 01:12:21,640
Speaker 3: knows more than we do. She probably thought she got

1624
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,559
Speaker 3: a foot in the door because after that she went

1625
01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:25,720
Speaker 3: back to her old self. I think it's because Sam

1626
01:12:25,800 --> 01:12:28,719
Speaker 3: didn't defend us when she was basically blaming the duy

1627
01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:31,040
Speaker 3: on us. He also made a point to be nicer

1628
01:12:31,080 --> 01:12:33,719
Speaker 3: to her after that. Neither of us saw a problem

1629
01:12:33,800 --> 01:12:36,120
Speaker 3: until we realized she was given an inch and took

1630
01:12:36,160 --> 01:12:39,760
Speaker 3: a mile. Sam immediately corrected himself in his behavior towards her,

1631
01:12:39,760 --> 01:12:43,439
Speaker 3: and now she's gone radio silence in conclusion. Reading over this,

1632
01:12:43,600 --> 01:12:46,439
Speaker 3: I'm more confident than ever. Sue is a covert, self

1633
01:12:46,479 --> 01:12:50,800
Speaker 3: absorbed person. I think this because she's very different in

1634
01:12:50,880 --> 01:12:53,040
Speaker 3: private than she is in public. She never asked me

1635
01:12:53,080 --> 01:12:55,160
Speaker 3: about my career and got weird when I would talk

1636
01:12:55,200 --> 01:12:57,519
Speaker 3: about it. There are a lot of people she's cut off,

1637
01:12:57,520 --> 01:12:59,679
Speaker 3: her mother in law and father in law, her mom,

1638
01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:03,040
Speaker 3: and many many others. All situations were I don't know

1639
01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:05,240
Speaker 3: what happened. I didn't do anything and they were just

1640
01:13:05,320 --> 01:13:07,920
Speaker 3: mean sort of things. She shunned me for an entire

1641
01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:10,080
Speaker 3: day when I joked about Sam and I'm moving away.

1642
01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:13,040
Speaker 3: She also tried to turn me against some of my family.

1643
01:13:13,200 --> 01:13:16,400
Speaker 3: She's recently been sending my parents nice texts and gifts,

1644
01:13:16,479 --> 01:13:19,880
Speaker 3: adding to their disapproval of our no contact situation. Oh

1645
01:13:20,040 --> 01:13:22,479
Speaker 3: how I want to tell them everything, even going as

1646
01:13:22,479 --> 01:13:25,280
Speaker 3: far as texting texting my mom on Christmas and not

1647
01:13:25,360 --> 01:13:28,720
Speaker 3: texting Sam. She loves to sabotage things, wanting to take

1648
01:13:28,760 --> 01:13:31,479
Speaker 3: down a bunch of cheerleaders instagrams when her daughter didn't

1649
01:13:31,520 --> 01:13:34,240
Speaker 3: make it on the team. Wanting to ruin people's businesses

1650
01:13:34,240 --> 01:13:37,280
Speaker 3: that she had tips with her husband is extremely codebendent

1651
01:13:37,360 --> 01:13:39,760
Speaker 3: on her. She admitted to trying to prod people into

1652
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:42,920
Speaker 3: breaking down so they'd get arrested for something because they

1653
01:13:42,920 --> 01:13:46,920
Speaker 3: were an annoying neighbor. WHOA, she's just scheming scheme after

1654
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:47,880
Speaker 3: scheme with this lady.

1655
01:13:48,040 --> 01:13:50,320
Speaker 4: To the schemer, dude, she lives up to the name.

1656
01:13:50,400 --> 01:13:52,080
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sure there are many things that you

1657
01:13:52,120 --> 01:13:54,600
Speaker 3: could sue or arrest get her arrested far well, you

1658
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:57,160
Speaker 3: need the evidence that's true. Dad is the problem. She

1659
01:13:57,240 --> 01:13:59,840
Speaker 3: has sworn us to secrecy on things that would jeopard

1660
01:13:59,840 --> 01:14:03,640
Speaker 3: eye her self image. Please share any thoughts or opinions.

1661
01:14:03,720 --> 01:14:05,439
Speaker 3: I want to know I'm making the right decision by

1662
01:14:05,439 --> 01:14:07,840
Speaker 3: going no contact, but it guts me seeing my husband

1663
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:10,000
Speaker 3: spend less time with his family. If we were to

1664
01:14:10,040 --> 01:14:12,120
Speaker 3: reconnect at some point, would it be a big disaster?

1665
01:14:12,400 --> 01:14:14,559
Speaker 3: What do I do about my parents not really supporting me?

1666
01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:17,439
Speaker 3: Thanks for reading and PS. My mother in law and

1667
01:14:17,520 --> 01:14:20,200
Speaker 3: father in law are fighting his duy in court, but

1668
01:14:20,280 --> 01:14:22,360
Speaker 3: I know for a fact he was wasted. Do I

1669
01:14:22,400 --> 01:14:25,240
Speaker 3: get involved. Given his past, I worry it could happen

1670
01:14:25,280 --> 01:14:27,559
Speaker 3: again and maybe he even hurts someone and there is

1671
01:14:27,600 --> 01:14:30,599
Speaker 3: an update. But I think my opinion is don't get

1672
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:33,599
Speaker 3: involved with any of this. Yeah, remove yourself, remove yourself

1673
01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:36,680
Speaker 3: entirely from their life. I think op is like, I

1674
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:39,680
Speaker 3: don't know, like just this like idea that, Oh, I

1675
01:14:39,720 --> 01:14:42,040
Speaker 3: feel bad because my husband doesn't want, like, isn't going

1676
01:14:42,080 --> 01:14:43,599
Speaker 3: to be able to have a relationship with his parents.

1677
01:14:43,640 --> 01:14:44,679
Speaker 3: He doesn't want one.

1678
01:14:45,080 --> 01:14:46,760
Speaker 4: They're not really built for it.

1679
01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:49,160
Speaker 3: It didn't they they like it parentified him since he

1680
01:14:49,240 --> 01:14:52,080
Speaker 3: was fourteen. Yeah, he does not want a relationship with

1681
01:14:52,080 --> 01:14:55,600
Speaker 3: his parents, and you pushing it is probably going to,

1682
01:14:55,840 --> 01:14:57,840
Speaker 3: you know, make it worse because it seems like the

1683
01:14:57,840 --> 01:15:00,000
Speaker 3: only one who's pushing anything or any sort of them

1684
01:15:00,160 --> 01:15:01,880
Speaker 3: sort of involvement with his parents is you.

1685
01:15:02,439 --> 01:15:04,280
Speaker 4: And you don't need to. I don't need to, he

1686
01:15:04,320 --> 01:15:05,600
Speaker 4: doesn't want to, and you don't need to.

1687
01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:08,000
Speaker 6: Get involved in the UI process or Yeah, it's like

1688
01:15:08,080 --> 01:15:10,679
Speaker 6: they're gonna he's if you try to fight that, yeah,

1689
01:15:10,720 --> 01:15:11,080
Speaker 6: good lue.

1690
01:15:11,320 --> 01:15:12,400
Speaker 4: Fighting the breathalyzer.

1691
01:15:12,520 --> 01:15:15,240
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, there's a breathalyzer. There's proof of him, you know,

1692
01:15:15,320 --> 01:15:20,960
Speaker 3: probably driving, not only under the influence, probably driving recklessly, recklessly.

1693
01:15:20,520 --> 01:15:25,759
Speaker 6: And it just further, I think, uh like exemplifies their

1694
01:15:26,000 --> 01:15:29,080
Speaker 6: perspective of just like I don't know this, like weird

1695
01:15:29,920 --> 01:15:32,920
Speaker 6: self absorbed entitlement of like, well, of course we can

1696
01:15:32,920 --> 01:15:35,240
Speaker 6: fight it and win because it's like that's just who

1697
01:15:35,520 --> 01:15:39,240
Speaker 6: We don't deserve that, and we're I was fine, like, no,

1698
01:15:39,320 --> 01:15:41,200
Speaker 6: there's dude, you were in the middle of a bender

1699
01:15:41,280 --> 01:15:42,240
Speaker 6: and you did a dui.

1700
01:15:42,479 --> 01:15:44,800
Speaker 3: There's literally no way that they can fight that, Like

1701
01:15:45,120 --> 01:15:48,320
Speaker 3: you know that they can disprove this in any way.

1702
01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:52,240
Speaker 3: So just just you don't need like you don't they don't.

1703
01:15:52,040 --> 01:15:53,800
Speaker 4: Need more proof to imagine. The next part of the

1704
01:15:53,800 --> 01:15:55,960
Speaker 4: story is like, well they went to court.

1705
01:15:56,040 --> 01:15:59,519
Speaker 6: They actually got paid twenty five thousand dollars for wrongful rest.

1706
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:01,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, of that, I don't think.

1707
01:16:01,960 --> 01:16:03,320
Speaker 4: I don't think so though, I.

1708
01:16:03,320 --> 01:16:05,120
Speaker 3: Don't think so, But yeah, I think I think you

1709
01:16:05,280 --> 01:16:08,240
Speaker 3: just stay out of it, stay no contact, don't get

1710
01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:11,000
Speaker 3: involved with them, don't go see them, don't do nothing.

1711
01:16:11,280 --> 01:16:13,800
Speaker 3: But there is an update. Long story short, my father

1712
01:16:13,840 --> 01:16:16,200
Speaker 3: in law, Parker, got a DUI and my mother in

1713
01:16:16,280 --> 01:16:18,720
Speaker 3: law Sue blamed it on me, going no contact and

1714
01:16:18,760 --> 01:16:22,280
Speaker 3: subsequently Sam spending less time around them, I'm no contact.

1715
01:16:22,479 --> 01:16:25,200
Speaker 3: Sam interacts with mother in law professionally because he works

1716
01:16:25,200 --> 01:16:28,320
Speaker 3: for their family business and still interacts with his dad normally.

1717
01:16:28,439 --> 01:16:29,840
Speaker 3: If you want to hear the full story on the

1718
01:16:29,880 --> 01:16:33,280
Speaker 3: DUI situation, but we're anyway. Yesterday, my mother in law

1719
01:16:33,320 --> 01:16:35,920
Speaker 3: called my husband Sam from their family cabin. My mother

1720
01:16:35,960 --> 01:16:37,640
Speaker 3: in law and father in law used to go to

1721
01:16:37,680 --> 01:16:40,920
Speaker 3: Mexico a lot to get wasted and do other substances.

1722
01:16:41,000 --> 01:16:43,479
Speaker 3: We aren't sure what those substances are, but we know

1723
01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:47,639
Speaker 3: she has an open opiate prescription for years and abuses xanax.

1724
01:16:47,960 --> 01:16:52,840
Speaker 3: Sue calls Sam. She was very clearly intoxicated, slurring her

1725
01:16:52,880 --> 01:16:55,160
Speaker 3: speech and would circle back around to things she had

1726
01:16:55,160 --> 01:16:55,599
Speaker 3: already told.

1727
01:16:55,680 --> 01:16:55,800
Speaker 1: Um.

1728
01:16:55,800 --> 01:16:58,160
Speaker 3: Sam loses it. What the heck are you guys doing

1729
01:16:58,240 --> 01:17:00,040
Speaker 3: up there? If you guys drive home wasted again and

1730
01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:02,320
Speaker 3: I'm dragging you both to a facility. He goes on

1731
01:17:02,439 --> 01:17:05,240
Speaker 3: to also voices concern over their decade long habit of

1732
01:17:05,320 --> 01:17:08,400
Speaker 3: leaving the younger kids for weeks. Jim and Lucy, Sam's

1733
01:17:08,439 --> 01:17:10,720
Speaker 3: the oldest of three, and took on the parental role

1734
01:17:10,880 --> 01:17:13,479
Speaker 3: for weeks at a time from thirteen to twenty two.

1735
01:17:13,680 --> 01:17:16,160
Speaker 3: Once we are married, we said no more. Now there's

1736
01:17:16,280 --> 01:17:18,800
Speaker 3: just one sixteen year old at home. Jim, he's had

1737
01:17:18,840 --> 01:17:21,320
Speaker 3: it the worst for sure. I mean, like, if you

1738
01:17:21,360 --> 01:17:24,360
Speaker 3: guys were to do anything again, should have been calling CBS. Yeah,

1739
01:17:24,520 --> 01:17:25,519
Speaker 3: like that should have.

1740
01:17:25,479 --> 01:17:29,639
Speaker 6: Been the child being neglected all the authorities.

1741
01:17:29,880 --> 01:17:31,680
Speaker 3: He should have called them. Years ago, I watched my

1742
01:17:31,720 --> 01:17:33,960
Speaker 3: mother in law and father in law missus birthday for

1743
01:17:34,000 --> 01:17:36,120
Speaker 3: like four or five years in a row due to

1744
01:17:36,200 --> 01:17:39,679
Speaker 3: Mexico trips. Now he Jim claims not to mind them

1745
01:17:39,840 --> 01:17:42,639
Speaker 3: leaving for weeks at a time, saying I have Becca,

1746
01:17:42,840 --> 01:17:45,960
Speaker 3: his girlfriend. I didn't hear the conversation directly, just from Sam.

1747
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:47,800
Speaker 3: At some point my mother in law said, I miss

1748
01:17:47,840 --> 01:17:50,040
Speaker 3: the way we used to talk. Sam. You mean you

1749
01:17:50,080 --> 01:17:52,600
Speaker 3: miss me being your therapist. You would discuss things with me.

1750
01:17:52,640 --> 01:17:54,760
Speaker 3: You should have been discussing with your husband. I can

1751
01:17:54,800 --> 01:17:57,120
Speaker 3: attest to this. I've heard conversations in the past that

1752
01:17:57,160 --> 01:17:59,559
Speaker 3: were very inappropriate. Sue, what do I do if Jim

1753
01:17:59,640 --> 01:18:02,000
Speaker 3: is talking to weird people online? I need you to

1754
01:18:02,040 --> 01:18:04,479
Speaker 3: go find Lucy. She's out path curfew. I want you

1755
01:18:04,520 --> 01:18:05,840
Speaker 3: to drag her away in front of all of her

1756
01:18:05,880 --> 01:18:07,920
Speaker 3: friends to embarrass her for being out path curfew.

1757
01:18:08,080 --> 01:18:10,920
Speaker 4: Oh, so you're just a terrible parent. That's cool.

1758
01:18:10,920 --> 01:18:13,400
Speaker 6: Oh you're so bad, that's cool. Yeah, that's that's a

1759
01:18:13,400 --> 01:18:18,400
Speaker 6: great way. Yes, let's let's let's socially uh damage our

1760
01:18:18,479 --> 01:18:21,160
Speaker 6: child and that'll teach them a lesson.

1761
01:18:21,400 --> 01:18:24,200
Speaker 3: We ended multiple dates early for the sake of punishing Lucy.

1762
01:18:24,320 --> 01:18:26,679
Speaker 3: The best part is Lucy never actually did anything wrong,

1763
01:18:26,880 --> 01:18:32,160
Speaker 3: always misunderstandings. Anyway, the conversation didn't end well. Sam was furious,

1764
01:18:32,200 --> 01:18:34,040
Speaker 3: but wanted to make sure they weren't about to drive

1765
01:18:34,040 --> 01:18:36,479
Speaker 3: home wasted and called his dad, also at the cabin.

1766
01:18:36,560 --> 01:18:39,200
Speaker 3: The conversation went something like his dad asking Sam why

1767
01:18:39,200 --> 01:18:41,479
Speaker 3: you thought he was so superior to everyone else. This

1768
01:18:41,600 --> 01:18:44,360
Speaker 3: is now a running thing with both parents and both siblings.

1769
01:18:44,600 --> 01:18:47,120
Speaker 3: They think we think we are better than everyone else,

1770
01:18:47,280 --> 01:18:50,599
Speaker 3: mostly for Sam criticizing his parents parenting. Sam back down,

1771
01:18:50,760 --> 01:18:54,320
Speaker 3: no apologizing for getting involved in parenting their kid. That's

1772
01:18:54,720 --> 01:18:57,080
Speaker 3: that's wild to be like, I'm so sorry, you're right

1773
01:18:57,320 --> 01:19:01,280
Speaker 3: parenting your kid because they made you parents their kid. Exactly,

1774
01:19:01,360 --> 01:19:03,960
Speaker 3: they left you alone at fourteen to parent their kids.

1775
01:19:04,280 --> 01:19:07,679
Speaker 4: I am the parent, who are the child.

1776
01:19:08,040 --> 01:19:11,479
Speaker 3: When Sam inquired about the situation with Sue calling him

1777
01:19:11,520 --> 01:19:14,479
Speaker 3: while she was intoxicated, Parker chalked it up to our

1778
01:19:14,560 --> 01:19:18,240
Speaker 3: starting metopause. The craziest part is when Sam called me

1779
01:19:18,400 --> 01:19:20,920
Speaker 3: to give me the rundown. It sounded like he believed

1780
01:19:20,920 --> 01:19:24,000
Speaker 3: that he's been calling him intoxicated and showing these exact

1781
01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:27,719
Speaker 3: behaviors for years. She only just started metopause. I'm sad

1782
01:19:27,800 --> 01:19:30,559
Speaker 3: because Parker has always been the more reasonable, level headed one.

1783
01:19:30,600 --> 01:19:33,040
Speaker 3: I lost so much respect when he offered that excuse.

1784
01:19:33,280 --> 01:19:36,040
Speaker 3: Maybe he meant when she gets intoxicated, it's worse now

1785
01:19:36,080 --> 01:19:40,880
Speaker 3: because she's starting metopause. So Sam apologized and ended the conversation.

1786
01:19:41,200 --> 01:19:43,680
Speaker 3: I offered my opinion that yes, he shouldn't need to

1787
01:19:43,680 --> 01:19:45,479
Speaker 3: be involved with that stuff. He's already been doing it

1788
01:19:45,520 --> 01:19:47,880
Speaker 3: for years. But he doesn't need to apologize for being

1789
01:19:47,880 --> 01:19:50,040
Speaker 3: mad about it because it's pretty messed up. He's not

1790
01:19:50,080 --> 01:19:52,000
Speaker 3: going to change them anyway, So I feel like the

1791
01:19:52,000 --> 01:19:53,800
Speaker 3: best thing he can do is just be a friend

1792
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:56,439
Speaker 3: to his younger brother and be there if he needs

1793
01:19:56,439 --> 01:19:59,200
Speaker 3: to talk about it. Okay, the day goes on. Sam

1794
01:19:59,360 --> 01:20:01,960
Speaker 3: didn't want to talk about the situation anymore, so we

1795
01:20:02,080 --> 01:20:04,439
Speaker 3: decided to have a peaceful rest of the day. All

1796
01:20:04,479 --> 01:20:07,320
Speaker 3: of a sudden, we're out grabbing some things at the

1797
01:20:07,320 --> 01:20:09,599
Speaker 3: store and he just shuts down. I can tell when

1798
01:20:09,640 --> 01:20:11,920
Speaker 3: something is wrong because he gets very cut and dry.

1799
01:20:12,160 --> 01:20:13,920
Speaker 3: I asked him if he wanted to talk about it,

1800
01:20:13,960 --> 01:20:15,920
Speaker 3: and he says, for now, all I need to know

1801
01:20:16,080 --> 01:20:18,120
Speaker 3: was that he got a text that pissed him off.

1802
01:20:18,640 --> 01:20:20,800
Speaker 3: He wanted to calm down and figure out what he

1803
01:20:20,840 --> 01:20:23,960
Speaker 3: was going to do about it before telling me, because Sam,

1804
01:20:24,080 --> 01:20:26,840
Speaker 3: you're gonna be so pissed off about this. A few

1805
01:20:26,880 --> 01:20:29,880
Speaker 3: hours later he finally told me, and I was definitely

1806
01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:32,960
Speaker 3: not happy. His family builds homes for a living, and

1807
01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:36,040
Speaker 3: they are building one for my cousin, the Smiths right now.

1808
01:20:36,120 --> 01:20:38,200
Speaker 3: We obviously love them and are fairly close with them.

1809
01:20:38,240 --> 01:20:41,160
Speaker 3: A suscent a text to tell Smith they get a

1810
01:20:41,200 --> 01:20:44,559
Speaker 3: two percent price increase. Your family friends get a two

1811
01:20:44,560 --> 01:20:47,559
Speaker 3: percent price increase. It was very clear that this was

1812
01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:51,200
Speaker 3: directly correlated to the conversations earlier that day. Okay, before

1813
01:20:51,200 --> 01:20:55,040
Speaker 3: we go any further, some background. Supposedly they needed to

1814
01:20:55,120 --> 01:20:57,360
Speaker 3: do a price increase on their home a few weeks ago,

1815
01:20:57,400 --> 01:20:59,240
Speaker 3: but they figured out some way to make it disappear.

1816
01:20:59,320 --> 01:21:01,240
Speaker 3: I think mother and and father in law, we're just

1817
01:21:01,280 --> 01:21:03,840
Speaker 3: going to make less on the house. I cautiously paid

1818
01:21:03,880 --> 01:21:05,880
Speaker 3: attention to see if this was kind. Indeed they were

1819
01:21:05,920 --> 01:21:08,559
Speaker 3: doing to make up for the past stuff. However, I

1820
01:21:08,680 --> 01:21:12,240
Speaker 3: was weary because they pretty much always manipulate and apologize

1821
01:21:12,240 --> 01:21:15,000
Speaker 3: through money, which they have loads to throw around. So

1822
01:21:15,160 --> 01:21:18,280
Speaker 3: they made it disappear to manipulate us into thinking they changed,

1823
01:21:18,400 --> 01:21:21,240
Speaker 3: and then made it reappear to manipulate us into knowing

1824
01:21:21,280 --> 01:21:23,920
Speaker 3: they haven't changed. What I think it's about. I think

1825
01:21:23,960 --> 01:21:25,800
Speaker 3: they want to ward us off from getting involved in

1826
01:21:25,840 --> 01:21:30,880
Speaker 3: their regular user time and child neglect. Maybe when Sam apologized,

1827
01:21:30,920 --> 01:21:33,040
Speaker 3: they knew they could make him feel even more sorry.

1828
01:21:33,120 --> 01:21:35,760
Speaker 3: I don't know, and you'll never be sorry when you

1829
01:21:35,800 --> 01:21:37,920
Speaker 3: listen to full episodes of stories just like this. Just

1830
01:21:37,920 --> 01:21:40,400
Speaker 3: get a Spotify and Apple podcasts or iHeartRadio and shout

1831
01:21:40,439 --> 01:21:42,439
Speaker 3: you book the story time. But there is a little

1832
01:21:42,479 --> 01:21:44,400
Speaker 3: bit left, and I am a little bit confused by

1833
01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:47,720
Speaker 3: that last part. It seems like Opie and Sam have

1834
01:21:47,960 --> 01:21:51,640
Speaker 3: some close like cousins who were It's like originally they

1835
01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:53,800
Speaker 3: were kind of doing a favor for and were like, Oh,

1836
01:21:53,840 --> 01:21:56,280
Speaker 3: we're gonna give you this like discounted house or something,

1837
01:21:56,520 --> 01:22:00,960
Speaker 3: and then as punishment for Sam's behavior, op Sue and

1838
01:22:01,080 --> 01:22:03,360
Speaker 3: Sue is like we're actually doing an increase on the price.

1839
01:22:03,439 --> 01:22:04,479
Speaker 3: Now that is that.

1840
01:22:04,280 --> 01:22:06,599
Speaker 6: That's my understanding that it feels like they were like, well,

1841
01:22:06,600 --> 01:22:08,640
Speaker 6: maybe we'll just take a little bit of a loss.

1842
01:22:08,400 --> 01:22:09,040
Speaker 4: And now that I don't know.

1843
01:22:09,080 --> 01:22:12,120
Speaker 6: It's just the constant theme of like, instead of just

1844
01:22:12,200 --> 01:22:15,000
Speaker 6: doing things themselves, they're like, you do it, when it's

1845
01:22:15,040 --> 01:22:16,320
Speaker 6: like they should be the ones to do it.

1846
01:22:16,320 --> 01:22:18,679
Speaker 4: That's their it's their price increase, they're the ones.

1847
01:22:18,840 --> 01:22:19,040
Speaker 8: Yeah.

1848
01:22:19,760 --> 01:22:23,120
Speaker 4: I think they're just like it to make ope's be

1849
01:22:23,160 --> 01:22:23,559
Speaker 4: the bad guy.

1850
01:22:23,600 --> 01:22:25,439
Speaker 3: Regardless of what they're doing, it seems like they're they're

1851
01:22:25,479 --> 01:22:29,040
Speaker 3: punishing op Sessman. That's like the main thing. But there

1852
01:22:29,080 --> 01:22:31,920
Speaker 3: is a little bit left the story. My final thought

1853
01:22:32,080 --> 01:22:35,479
Speaker 3: is call CPS on them, get this child away from them.

1854
01:22:35,840 --> 01:22:39,559
Speaker 3: In conclusion, I'm extremely mad in hurting from my cousins.

1855
01:22:39,760 --> 01:22:42,040
Speaker 3: Sam is the agent on their house, so he's not

1856
01:22:42,080 --> 01:22:44,160
Speaker 3: going to charge them for his service. That should cover

1857
01:22:44,200 --> 01:22:46,040
Speaker 3: most of the extra they were going to have to pay. Yeah,

1858
01:22:46,080 --> 01:22:48,080
Speaker 3: so it does seem like originally they were supposed to

1859
01:22:48,080 --> 01:22:49,920
Speaker 3: be getting a discount on this house and now they're

1860
01:22:49,960 --> 01:22:52,719
Speaker 3: having to pay more. While this situation stinks, it made

1861
01:22:52,800 --> 01:22:55,160
Speaker 3: my decision to go no contact more clear I have

1862
01:22:55,200 --> 01:22:58,160
Speaker 3: battled with it relentlessly and made Sam's decision to leave

1863
01:22:58,160 --> 01:23:01,439
Speaker 3: the family business easier. And after people read my post

1864
01:23:01,479 --> 01:23:03,559
Speaker 3: and offered insight, it was a huge game changer for

1865
01:23:03,640 --> 01:23:06,200
Speaker 3: my situation and helped me see more clearly. Again, if

1866
01:23:06,200 --> 01:23:08,720
Speaker 3: you have any input for me, I would greatly appreciate it.

1867
01:23:08,800 --> 01:23:11,120
Speaker 3: Anywhere you think Sam and I have been wrong, insight

1868
01:23:11,240 --> 01:23:13,639
Speaker 3: into mother in law and father in law's behavior, et cetera.

1869
01:23:13,760 --> 01:23:15,720
Speaker 3: Thank you in a blessed day. And that was the

1870
01:23:15,880 --> 01:23:17,759
Speaker 3: end of that story.

1871
01:23:17,920 --> 01:23:20,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean, I think addiction probably informs a lot

1872
01:23:20,120 --> 01:23:21,000
Speaker 6: of absolutely.

1873
01:23:21,040 --> 01:23:24,280
Speaker 3: I mean, there it seems like sometimes when you have

1874
01:23:24,520 --> 01:23:26,599
Speaker 3: those problems and stuff, it's like you want to hoard

1875
01:23:26,680 --> 01:23:28,439
Speaker 3: that money and like spend it on that and stuff,

1876
01:23:28,880 --> 01:23:32,400
Speaker 3: and so there's probably also like money things surrounding this deal,

1877
01:23:32,800 --> 01:23:35,200
Speaker 3: and then it's also trying to punish you.

1878
01:23:35,479 --> 01:23:39,360
Speaker 6: And yeah, yeah, not very not very high on the

1879
01:23:39,360 --> 01:23:40,200
Speaker 6: parent totem pole.

1880
01:23:40,479 --> 01:23:44,160
Speaker 3: Now, probably the lowest on the parent totem pole.

1881
01:23:44,280 --> 01:23:48,040
Speaker 6: Pretty pretty pretty low, pretty pretty pretty low flying.

1882
01:23:48,520 --> 01:23:50,960
Speaker 3: But that is the end of that story.