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Speaker 1: of This is Americans Live. I guess and now your
Speaker 1: first random sentence. Smokey the Bear secretly started the fires.
Speaker 1: For years he was promoting the fact that fires were
Speaker 1: accidental or maybe a product of negligence at old campaign
Speaker 1: based on it. But we really knew that Smoky out
Speaker 1: of his own fires a little bit of a secret arsonists.
Speaker 1: I mean, without fires, you don't really have a smoky
Speaker 1: And remember, kids older, you can prevent forest fire. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but what if you're the one who I mean, why
Speaker 1: do you have matches? I'm just asking why do you
Speaker 1: have matches? Because you see the matches, don't you. I
Speaker 1: see the matches for shure. I brought this with me
Speaker 1: to show you the dangerous items that could be ignited,
Speaker 1: and why you should stay away from these matches. So
Speaker 1: why there's so many matches because because there's so many
Speaker 1: of you, one match for each child. Wait, do you
Speaker 1: want to give us all matches when we're not supposed
Speaker 1: to start fires? Yes? I want to hand you the matches.
Speaker 1: I want you to see what a fire looks like
Speaker 1: and how scary. Then alright, alright, thank you so much kids.
Speaker 1: This session or whatever it is, this is gonna be over.
Speaker 1: Mr Ball. We have some questions for you. Please please.
Speaker 1: Mr Barrow was my father's name. You can call me Smoke,
Speaker 1: Mr Smoky. This is my partner, Mr Kingdom. Hello, we're investigators.
Speaker 1: We would like to ask you some questions and if
Speaker 1: you want to look at my credentials. Wow, yeah, she
Speaker 1: very official. The very real versions are the ones that
Speaker 1: you carried out a fake? No, these are totally real.
Speaker 1: And you come down town and tell us a person
Speaker 1: when we go and smoke them car and it's called
Speaker 1: a Smokey the Bear car. Yeah, Smoky the Bear car.
Speaker 1: Is it labeled the Smoky the Bear Car? Yeah? On
Speaker 1: the side I had I had somebody, we would prefer
Speaker 1: to take you in our own car. If that's okay
Speaker 1: with you, sir. That's kind of have this work. It's
Speaker 1: kind of how this works. Don't make this cuff in
Speaker 1: front of the kids. All right, I'll play along, but
Speaker 1: I can't imagine. What do you think I could have
Speaker 1: done wrong? Let me just can I imp you have
Speaker 1: my pockets place? Let me just put these matchress over here,
Speaker 1: and we put the stip block bag full of gasoline
Speaker 1: over here. To say, just put my blow torch over here.
Speaker 1: He was passing through his own crimes. And the thing
Speaker 1: he knew he was smoky the bear car taking up show.
Speaker 1: But you don't ask me about the fires. Oh, don't
Speaker 1: load a marshal. I think he's taking off at the
Speaker 1: end of the day. He was just a big fet there.
Speaker 1: So he didn't get his The agents caught up with
Speaker 1: and the handcuffed him and they took him in for questioning,
Speaker 1: and they brought him some coffee and then some honey,
Speaker 1: and then they said, and then they asked me a question.
Speaker 1: It sucks when somebody keeps tucking over. It's not great,
Speaker 1: all right. I don't have to say anything to you,
Speaker 1: cop smart until my lawyer were fire investigative agents respect
Speaker 1: the bade okay, fired, Well, don't if you want to
Speaker 1: see the badge again? Yeah, sure him the badge again.
Speaker 1: Apparently he needs to see it right air, right air.
Speaker 1: That one look so fresh. All I want to see.
Speaker 1: Here's a gun. Fuck you tell us what his matches?
Speaker 1: This gas can and what else did you pull out?
Speaker 1: You were saying it out loud, dummy, ziplock bag? Yeah,
Speaker 1: ziplock bag of gasoline, by the way, thumbest way to
Speaker 1: carry gasoline. Right, well, I love my gas can full
Speaker 1: of gasoline in the wards. After I dumped it out,
Speaker 1: I forgot to bring it with back up. You did
Speaker 1: what again? You dumped the gas can? What the wards?
Speaker 1: Why would you do that? Missed the bear because I
Speaker 1: was going to show everyone how dangerous and scary forest
Speaker 1: fires are. Trial by fire literally at that point, you know,
Speaker 1: realize that Smoky wasn't necessarily a niceness but an accidental
Speaker 1: fire starter. The fires originated from him were chapping what
Speaker 1: not to do with kids? Literally, you know that he
Speaker 1: was starting the fires that he desperately wanted to stop.
Speaker 1: You don't understand I'm doing the Lord's work. I'm doing
Speaker 1: a public service. How are people supposed to know how
Speaker 1: to avoid the thing that they don't even know what
Speaker 1: it looks. What doesn't matter you you started these fires,
Speaker 1: and then you come in and and then you you know,
Speaker 1: you say not to do it, but then you do
Speaker 1: it accidentally after it doesn't matter what booking. You've done
Speaker 1: your book and you get your book block. Look look look, look,
Speaker 1: look he's the book. Look he's your book. Please your
Speaker 1: paws downstair, don't raise your pie. If starting fires intentionally
Speaker 1: to teach everybody a lesson is a crime, then by
Speaker 1: all means, lock me up and throw away the key.
Speaker 1: No worries. You gotta get your mug shuts. First, go
Speaker 1: to the next door. Oh yes, sir, mr yeah, you
Speaker 1: need to stand straight, yeah, yeah, stand up against the finger,
Speaker 1: smile or no, no no, no, no, it's fine sight and
Speaker 1: then turn the right and then how much do you wait?
Speaker 1: Four pounds? But I'm trying to slim down before my wedding.
Speaker 1: Put him in pop, What are you looking for? I
Speaker 1: don't know doing? What are you in for? You don't
Speaker 1: know what you're in here for? Anything? I know, but
Speaker 1: maybe I'm still in child face? What are you? What
Speaker 1: is that tattoo? Say in my face? Uncle Charles and
Speaker 1: his and the left side. Nephew, Gary, thank you. Now
Speaker 1: you know, motherfucker, there's no indication what you are here for.
Speaker 1: You're the new meat. You go first, Yeah, go first?
Speaker 1: All right? It was a big misunderstanding. Misunderstanding. Huh, big giant,
Speaker 1: flaming misunderstanding. I hadn't I was setting fires. You know
Speaker 1: what we did with larsinists around here, don't you? What's
Speaker 1: your funny bad? Let me guess you shot him on fire.
Speaker 1: He wasn't getting along with people with the gin pop
Speaker 1: it put him in his own cell, not because nobody
Speaker 1: went in the room with him, because he was so
Speaker 1: large he only occupied one old table to himself in
Speaker 1: the cafeteria. Little did you know that you had a
Speaker 1: lot of enemies in prison? Yeah? What you canna do
Speaker 1: with that? Honey? What's gonna eat it? What do you
Speaker 1: think of it? Why would you be eating my honey pump?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Why would you be fucking with a bear?
Speaker 1: What are you gonna do? All? You give it a shot? Okay?
Speaker 1: I mean I can't molly if I have to ask this,
Speaker 1: But does anybody else watch some of the shot? And
Speaker 1: at that point he realized he was the shot cut
Speaker 1: of the prison. So what are you working for? Whatever
Speaker 1: you say? Yeah, yeah, you're in for arson. When I
Speaker 1: when I very easily bust out of this prison, you're
Speaker 1: gonna help me light a few fires. You're gonna what
Speaker 1: are you saying? What are you in for? Yeah? It
Speaker 1: was also a misunderstanding. You seem so suck spoken, So
Speaker 1: I'd rather I'd rather not. I rather not. What do
Speaker 1: you do with? Sounds bad? It's very bad. Okay, Well
Speaker 1: your water, take some guss or you want to know,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you, but you promise not to deal anybody.
Speaker 1: I guess we won't tell anybody. But even if we're doing,
Speaker 1: you're kind of already in prison. Yeah, but I'm really okay,
Speaker 1: go ahead. I stole a bunch of gasoline and put
Speaker 1: it in bunch of black bags, and then that caused
Speaker 1: not in the forest, but caused a bunch of life. Wow. Um,
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna have one follow up question. How would
Speaker 1: you like to bring my girlfriend? Would be lovely? There's
Speaker 1: so much in common. Very well, what's up with the
Speaker 1: fresh first you mentioned earlier are the first delivery comment.
Speaker 1: It was called fresh fish because you know it's like
Speaker 1: brand new years, so called fresh fish. That's why they
Speaker 1: keep me all on fresh fish. I keep thinking this
Speaker 1: is this is American's life. Maybe another story Fast Producer
Speaker 1: Andy Especially guest contributor in this episode is Jake Kroeger.
Speaker 1: In the show, we'll be using a trustee Sends generator
Speaker 1: to bring you a story in three improvised acts. This
Speaker 1: week's theme confessions. Sometimes they're good for ust, so sometimes
Speaker 1: you can say you free. The times you can just
Speaker 1: put you in the slammer with us. Act one as
Speaker 1: the rental car road two stop on the dark road.
Speaker 1: Or fear increased by the moment, has every moment passed
Speaker 1: her fear kept moving up like a barameter of jitters.
Speaker 1: I think this is it. I think this is it.
Speaker 1: I think this is the place. Are you sure? Yes?
Speaker 1: This is the place. Jesus, this is the Ben Breakfast.
Speaker 1: He chose to me too. You told me to pick
Speaker 1: the place, so I picked the place and I just
Speaker 1: looked it up on you know that the Ben Breakfast
Speaker 1: that come No, are we very yet? Chris? Please shut up? Yes, please, Chris, Jesus,
Speaker 1: I only asked ten times, Jesus, Chris, Chris, your father
Speaker 1: and I are having a discussion. Quiet back, stepfather. Doesn't
Speaker 1: sound like a discussion, sounds like an argument. Chris, I
Speaker 1: found I found it somewhere. I don't know if you
Speaker 1: don't want to. It was one of those pages and
Speaker 1: and and those little things to tear off for bread back. First, listen,
Speaker 1: Dr Roybert, this too. You mean super fucking expensive Dr Roberts,
Speaker 1: doctor fucking super fucking expensive. Dr Robert told us to
Speaker 1: trust each other. You have to do earmufs again, Yes,
Speaker 1: all right, just do you know what? Do airmuffs for
Speaker 1: the rest of the trip, please, Chris, My arms are
Speaker 1: gonna you tire. Okay, well, then here, take these Take
Speaker 1: these pills. Did you like hear mufs for your old body?
Speaker 1: You told me not to take just to Chris, you
Speaker 1: for other people? Chris can can your your stepfather and I?
Speaker 1: Please have a second, please all right, just give me
Speaker 1: the earmuffs in there they'll yes, take the airmuffs, take
Speaker 1: the noise canceling headphones, take the pills. I can take
Speaker 1: the pills. The only kid in the world who actually needs,
Speaker 1: like when you tell him, say earmuffs, they need actual
Speaker 1: things to put on his fucking really just is unbelievable.
Speaker 1: They didn't put the earmuffs on yet, but the Amazon
Speaker 1: the noise canceling headphones. Take the pills with the dry
Speaker 1: cleaner bag over your head? Do you have something to drink?
Speaker 1: I don't like taking pills dry Christ, Chris, your stepfather,
Speaker 1: and I gonna have a little brief, little chitty chat. Okay, hey, um,
Speaker 1: so what is with this kid not daking the pill? Really?
Speaker 1: That's what you want to talk about right now? He
Speaker 1: used to be cool? Remember when he used to be
Speaker 1: so cool? This is what I'm talking about, Darling. I
Speaker 1: don't know what you want to talk about. At one point,
Speaker 1: you're really upset about the prod and breakfast. I thought
Speaker 1: you want to add a conversation about the bread breakfast,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden we're talking about Chris
Speaker 1: and we'll get when we get to the bed breakfast.
Speaker 1: But well, why don't we get to what we're gonna
Speaker 1: get too? I'm so sorry. I just didn't expect Chris
Speaker 1: to come in here with us. I wish you could
Speaker 1: just take some fucking focused pills for once. You're right,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna focus. So this place is really scary first, um,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to trust you because even though you've
Speaker 1: led me a stray countless times. I didn't lead you stray. Really, Yes,
Speaker 1: while you were the one who told me to adopt Chris,
Speaker 1: you said you wanted a baby. I should I can't
Speaker 1: give you a baby. Then what'd you say? They said
Speaker 1: I want a puppy? You remember what happened to that thing? Right? Yes?
Speaker 1: And then and then I said I want I guess
Speaker 1: since we've out of options, I will take literally anything
Speaker 1: but a pubescent, annoying boy who won't take pills and
Speaker 1: talks during road trip. Most people kidnapped babies, but your
Speaker 1: kidnapped the fucking eleven year old. You really didn't want me,
Speaker 1: didn't we say to where your mouths? For fox sake?
Speaker 1: I can I can read lips and the pills aren't
Speaker 1: working yet. This is why you get a baby, because
Speaker 1: they're not educated, they don't know anything. This one will
Speaker 1: reads lips, you know, like Chris, you know you're right.
Speaker 1: We love you very much and we appreciate you. What
Speaker 1: are learned? Those pills? But what's in the pills? What
Speaker 1: are my pharmacists? I don't know. They quiet, sleepy time
Speaker 1: pass sleepy time pills. I take them when I need
Speaker 1: to sleep. I give them cue for you to sleep,
Speaker 1: or you wanted to put me to sleep. I want
Speaker 1: you to just shut up for a minute. That's not
Speaker 1: the same as sleeping, though. Can we just talk about
Speaker 1: our relationship here, because I just feel like, let's say,
Speaker 1: for example, somebody happy lostening into our conversation, what are
Speaker 1: you gonna realize about our relationship? Yeah, okay, I guess you.
Speaker 1: You make a good point. Okay, look, you know a
Speaker 1: family meeting. Take the bag off your head and take
Speaker 1: the air moths off. That's and I decided to cut
Speaker 1: him off. Can just start talking. I wanted him to
Speaker 1: know what I felt like. Maybe maybe it wasn't really
Speaker 1: about his story. Maybe it wasn't about the scene. Did
Speaker 1: I do that? Just not? Maybe it was a lesson
Speaker 1: that I cut you off just now If I did,
Speaker 1: it wasn't Maybe you did times before. Maybe you did
Speaker 1: it wasn't on the purfoct weeks before. Sorry, but I
Speaker 1: just want to let him know I know I'm watching
Speaker 1: and listening. Okay, So family meeting, Take all this stuff off,
Speaker 1: take it here, stick your fingering on your throat and
Speaker 1: puke out those pills. Take your fingering you could thank you? Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you? That hurt alright, family meeting. Yeah, we can
Speaker 1: all agree that your stepfather chose this really scary, terrible
Speaker 1: place for us to stay. Was it scary or terrible?
Speaker 1: You wanted to come all the way to mid CA,
Speaker 1: like northern whatever the California area this is we were driving.
Speaker 1: I realized didn't book anything, so I stopped the first
Speaker 1: laundromat first laundroy maat I one of those little papers,
Speaker 1: did ben breakfast at the things to tear this off,
Speaker 1: throw it off? Called the people left on the voicemail
Speaker 1: and the answering machine stay tell us what your name blah,
Speaker 1: but I'm people and go peep and I did it,
Speaker 1: and we are I think that we should all just
Speaker 1: do a favor and satisfy each other and the listener
Speaker 1: and just go into this spooky bed and breakfast and
Speaker 1: see what it's like. Okay, I think we should talk
Speaker 1: a little bit more. I don't know how is this
Speaker 1: supposed to be a family meeting. You just said you're
Speaker 1: not my real mom and dad. We're not your biological
Speaker 1: mother and father, but we are your adoptive mother and father.
Speaker 1: Where I'm sorry that can you show you where the papers?
Speaker 1: I want you to prove that you love me, show
Speaker 1: me the papers. Well, you're in luck because I always
Speaker 1: carry the adoption papers in my biser. Here you go
Speaker 1: on the other side of town. The parents talk about
Speaker 1: his disappearance. I don't know. I feel like we shoulder.
Speaker 1: I could not be more relaxed, am I right? How
Speaker 1: nice is it to be able to sit down, turn
Speaker 1: on the boo ya and just watch whatever we want,
Speaker 1: whatever we want without I'm chiming and telling us, Oh,
Speaker 1: I remember he was in that other movie and she
Speaker 1: wasn't the other movie directly the movie. Remember, I thought
Speaker 1: it was charming when we adopted him, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? And then realizing that this is not gonna work.
Speaker 1: I mean they really took I mean the us out.
Speaker 1: Talk about bailing us out. I did not care for him.
Speaker 1: I think we're happy now. I don't see any reason
Speaker 1: to call a search party or even go to look
Speaker 1: for him. How long has it been I don't know
Speaker 1: what seems like it's only been a couple of days,
Speaker 1: but I'm sure it's been years of year. And the
Speaker 1: decided to see this is by that school parents said
Speaker 1: to talk about the missing baby, Chris, I'm not a
Speaker 1: day and do not miss Christopher at all. Well, that
Speaker 1: makes one of us, because man, old man, whenever we'd
Speaker 1: click on the click clicking click the movie do movie
Speaker 1: doube and he'd be watching the move movie pictures with
Speaker 1: us and he would say, Hey, that's my but they
Speaker 1: need to say girls and mar wait wait, turn up
Speaker 1: the news, turn turn up. Hey, I think I recognize
Speaker 1: that kid. Family and a freend and Breakfast was murdered
Speaker 1: by this my young man. Authorities are start trying to
Speaker 1: find the identity of this young eleven year old boy.
Speaker 1: Kid looks just like her, annoying, but he looks just
Speaker 1: like yeah, turn it off, turn up. I think he's
Speaker 1: trying to make up the same walleyes. I thought, yes,
Speaker 1: I get it. Turn it up. The same face looks
Speaker 1: like somebody like God must please? Can you please turn
Speaker 1: up the movie too. We cooked it so it drowns
Speaker 1: out the sound of your insults. I'm gonna turn it
Speaker 1: to the channel. Well, this is a new news person.
Speaker 1: Let's see what they have to lives with the seed.
Speaker 1: You're really spooky, but Breakfast where a young man rescued? Though,
Speaker 1: where are you man? Sorry, let's roll tape, roll back,
Speaker 1: We're live oh ship, sorry, we're live chance, guys, some
Speaker 1: pipe made Welcome back to scary spooky news. Yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: go live to the bed and breakfas where a young
Speaker 1: man name Chris Tupper has murdered his entire family and
Speaker 1: the owners of the Bend Breakfast. I was not really
Speaker 1: that spooky inside. I'm not sure I say his name right.
Speaker 1: Let me because in one of those names, wilcome back
Speaker 1: to the broadcast. We don't go live to a been
Speaker 1: breakfast that if they would have actually gotten out and
Speaker 1: walked inside and looked after ben breakfast, I would have
Speaker 1: seen that it wasn't that spooky after all, and it
Speaker 1: was much to do about nothing. We had a man
Speaker 1: murdered his adoptive parents. Um, do we have the name
Speaker 1: of this young man? Oh? Yes, his name is Christopher
Speaker 1: Christopher Lemon, Chris Clements, Chris Chrissie Clemmons. And the only
Speaker 1: reason why I know that that's his name is because
Speaker 1: witnesses overheard a couple screaming out, please adoptive son Christopher
Speaker 1: Clemens stopped hitting us with that hatchet. Physic Clemmons and
Speaker 1: himself in an interrogation room with do detective wanted to
Speaker 1: know what happened to the family he arrived with at
Speaker 1: the bed breakfast but ended up inces alright, Christian, my
Speaker 1: partner is gonna come in in a second. He's not
Speaker 1: anywhere near as nice as I as nice as I am,
Speaker 1: how are you today? I'm a little shaken up. Don't
Speaker 1: be shaken you know, so let's talk about them. I
Speaker 1: have these these pills that might adopted father wanted to
Speaker 1: give to me to make me go and sleepy, But
Speaker 1: I don't know should I take those right now? Let
Speaker 1: me consult with my proner. What's problem? You're supposed to
Speaker 1: be mean? Why? Why are you being so nice? That guy?
Speaker 1: I told him I preloaded I saying that you you
Speaker 1: were gonna be mean. I didn't hear it. You come
Speaker 1: in here, like, why don't you tell me how you
Speaker 1: feel about the saying is crying to chack about it?
Speaker 1: It's not taking you seriously asked him about the mitas.
Speaker 1: For Christ's sake, You guys fight like my adopted parents.
Speaker 1: What you didn't want to worry home? You jed watch
Speaker 1: you can tell me? Tell both of us? So, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can tell both of us. You want him to leave?
Speaker 1: No tell us, sir, are my part he's gonna give
Speaker 1: you a pomel, and I like saying I should never seen.
Speaker 1: I will pummel your fucking face. I just want everybody
Speaker 1: to get along. If I promise that we're going to
Speaker 1: get along, do you promise to tell us what happened
Speaker 1: to these two people? I promise they were my adoptive parents.
Speaker 1: But then right before the thing happened, they said they
Speaker 1: weren't my parents, and then that's what set you off.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, well, the thing that happened, but ask them
Speaker 1: what the thing was that happened. We have to get along.
Speaker 1: You know what, Christopher, if you don't mind, put their
Speaker 1: mason and put these noise canceling headphones on. Not any
Speaker 1: no more in your mouth. These are the noise canceling
Speaker 1: headphones we found you with. I think you, I think
Speaker 1: it's okay. If you were, please put the dry cliner
Speaker 1: bag over you. I'm getting triggered. I don't want to
Speaker 1: do that. Just get along. Please be sidebar with my partner.
Speaker 1: I watched a really good You'd have to telling the
Speaker 1: water a little bit when you said you're gonna kick
Speaker 1: your what having you said? You're always telling me how
Speaker 1: to interrogate our our, our purpose. It's not fair. I
Speaker 1: went through the academy too, you know. Yeh. We both
Speaker 1: were to successions with dr Ropetski and Young. She said,
Speaker 1: in order to be more effective partners, we should make
Speaker 1: clear expectations of the other partner. Now, I like, I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm a very good partner. I feel like
Speaker 1: I do. I do follow the expectations that you lay
Speaker 1: out for me. However, you seem to change them on
Speaker 1: a dime. What are you talking about? One? You're not
Speaker 1: very consistent about what you want from me. At the top,
Speaker 1: I was telling him, sound like you're getting along less No, no, what, God, God,
Speaker 1: what are you working out? Okay, we'll see. That's the
Speaker 1: volume where it sounds like you were getting Yeah. No,
Speaker 1: everything's gonna be fine. Your voice even and even even
Speaker 1: her own purp recognizes that just lower your voice. Maybe
Speaker 1: we could have some kind of consensus on happened. Let's right,
Speaker 1: let's do it. Let's do it. Here we go and
Speaker 1: break all right, Christopher. So so here's the deal. Look,
Speaker 1: I don't want to throw you in prision. Neither do I.
Speaker 1: I don't want to, but I'm afraid quishy that unless
Speaker 1: you admit that you had to your fucking step parents
Speaker 1: to pieces. I swear to God, I am gonna slam
Speaker 1: your stupid Sorry, why don't you call me Chrissie. It's
Speaker 1: a sword for Christopher, for Christopher. Am I bringing a
Speaker 1: Christie energy to this. If you want to be called
Speaker 1: Chris or Christopher, we will call you Christoper, Christopher. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll call you whatever you want. I mean to me,
Speaker 1: you have Christophers. I believe him. I don't believe you.
Speaker 1: It feels like you're just going along with what he
Speaker 1: says because you want to go home, Chris, my boy, Christopher.
Speaker 1: He feels just as much for you as I do.
Speaker 1: Really he does. Yes, look at him? Yeah, look at
Speaker 1: his red face. That seems like it's red for a
Speaker 1: different voice. Because the was so much damn love for you, Christopher,
Speaker 1: And I really just want us to work out for you.
Speaker 1: And if you don't, God damn tell me you killed
Speaker 1: these poor people. I'm gonna not paint this wall red
Speaker 1: with your blood from your skull. God it hurts white Chris.
Speaker 1: They created a new parental dynamic amongst the two detectives
Speaker 1: in himself. Because Chris never confessed, they ended up in
Speaker 1: this hatt and mouse of where the rooms called interrogation
Speaker 1: room in derogation for months and months alrighthippopotamus, I know
Speaker 1: what you stole out? Car stop from one minute? It's
Speaker 1: a call back to the first thing by why had
Speaker 1: I mean had a bear talking and he was in
Speaker 1: prison that one second? Do you understand my problem? I'm
Speaker 1: always adding with the producer, you know, Yeah, it's says constant,
Speaker 1: no focus, consily like randomly bringing things into the parade
Speaker 1: that don't hold on. This is what I'm talking about. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, you know, And I feel like kind of
Speaker 1: like a son in a way watching two parents. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm really I'm really sorry. Can we can like that?
Speaker 1: The guests? Can we just have Can you put these
Speaker 1: ramus on for a second? Do you want me to
Speaker 1: put it? You want me to put your mouths over headphone?
Speaker 1: Can you actually can you take off the headphone so
Speaker 1: so you can't hear what we're saying on the mic,
Speaker 1: and so take you off. But we dr ribe Flavan
Speaker 1: already went over this with us, and it's pronounced lavine.
Speaker 1: It's not no, it's an entire session was dedicated to
Speaker 1: the pronunciation of his name, and we we came to
Speaker 1: the agreement that is rabelavin isn't matter? Is that I'm
Speaker 1: really sorry that you have to hear all that, but
Speaker 1: it's it's it's a grilling problem. At some point I
Speaker 1: had to say something about because if I didn't, you
Speaker 1: would just keep continuing with all this bullshit. Would it
Speaker 1: be okay with you? Can we at least agree that
Speaker 1: we should move on to Act too, because this is
Speaker 1: as good as Act one is going to get, because
Speaker 1: there's nowhere else to go from here. Coming up at
Speaker 1: to the first the word from our esteemed sponsors stay
Speaker 1: with us at you interview, especially guess Jake Broger are
Speaker 1: you today, Jake, I'm doing I'm doing all right. How
Speaker 1: about you gonna be weird transition? Right, Yeah, let'stency bet
Speaker 1: bets based in honesty. I've been doing the show with
Speaker 1: Andy for the past five years that I had another
Speaker 1: producer who you know from Intensive Purposes, you know died died.
Speaker 1: How did he die for dens and purpose for all
Speaker 1: for all intents and purposes died? Could say that he did,
Speaker 1: let's just say it kind of died behind it that
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter anyways, we actually have we don't we
Speaker 1: don't have we have that some footage of that first producer? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's fine. That is being all right. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is from the third producer, which is two producers before Andy.
Speaker 1: All right, are you we're almost ready to start rolling? Um?
Speaker 1: Are you ready? Are you ready to start rolling? And
Speaker 1: appreciate it if maybe you just have an organic started.
Speaker 1: I'm constantly asking me if I'm ready. I'm really sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry. Okay, So we're gonna start rolling here
Speaker 1: in a little in a minute. So did you see
Speaker 1: the problem my head with the producer? Yeah, aggravating. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was hop I was hoping we'd have footage of
Speaker 1: how he died. If there, but that's that's the one
Speaker 1: that died. It went right before you. Oh yeah, can
Speaker 1: worry what happened to that one? Yeah? Oh he just
Speaker 1: died ll intense and purposes? What does what does that mean?
Speaker 1: In a legal sense? Sorry, for all intensive purposes? He
Speaker 1: kind of died because he was a robot. He's right
Speaker 1: out of batteries and well, yeah, I don't want to
Speaker 1: do that robot. No, there's no robot, and I can't
Speaker 1: tell you what I mean. No, I would like want
Speaker 1: to hear that I would like to hear that producer dying.
Speaker 1: All right, glory and his double s time to start roll? Like,
Speaker 1: are you ready, producer? About three thousands ready? Yes, I
Speaker 1: know it's sticking out of the wall. Oh it really
Speaker 1: was a robot. Yeah. The production company here, the radio station,
Speaker 1: decided to get me an automated producer because I just
Speaker 1: wasn't getting along with all the producers. I reached out
Speaker 1: to you because your father was my first producer, right,
Speaker 1: and if you remember to him, if I remember my father, yeah,
Speaker 1: I played the last day. He was okay, alright, sorry,
Speaker 1: um ready to roll? And I think it's his time,
Speaker 1: by the ways. By ways. But I've been doing such
Speaker 1: a good job. And how long you've been doing here?
Speaker 1: For six hours and everything comes to an end, Well,
Speaker 1: you better promised me something. You would better not mistreat
Speaker 1: my son the way that you've been mistreating me for
Speaker 1: these six hours. I'm not gonna keep you on board
Speaker 1: just because he told me your wife's pregnant and then
Speaker 1: you have this son coming. I haven't even met the kid.
Speaker 1: I probably never will. And they don't give a ship
Speaker 1: if we're not gonna live for He used to talk
Speaker 1: about you a lot. Actually, Oh, yeah, will you say
Speaker 1: you probably rambling like you What does that mean? If
Speaker 1: his family crest is like a microphone? It is you've
Speaker 1: seen it. Yeah, it's glorious. It's a microphone. And then
Speaker 1: there's a silout of a man. It is like this,
Speaker 1: he has one hand. Is a year a microphone? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And and then there's like an olive branch underneath all
Speaker 1: that it's not that's actually an excell cable. It goes
Speaker 1: right to the mic. Just a green act all our cable. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: uh so, so why don't we hear a little bit
Speaker 1: about our guests here? Yeah? So tell us see you from?
Speaker 1: What do you do? How do we know each other?
Speaker 1: But how do we know? How do we know of you?
Speaker 1: Uh So, my name's Jake Roger. Uh. I created a
Speaker 1: thing called the Comedy Bureau back in two thousand and ten.
Speaker 1: That's you investigate comedy. What does that mean? You know?
Speaker 1: I I used to be a name that was just
Speaker 1: kind of fun, but uh you know, it's an l
Speaker 1: a comedy news resource institution that recently expanded in New York.
Speaker 1: But in in the time of COVID, I've actually gotten
Speaker 1: to do investigating quote unquote no ship yeah, like people
Speaker 1: would tell me about an open mic in person that
Speaker 1: they were doing at a very uh, let's say, bad
Speaker 1: time to do that, and I would go in my
Speaker 1: car and just spy from my car if they were
Speaker 1: being safe to see you do you mean like like
Speaker 1: COVID wise, Yeah, COVID wise and they weren't. So what
Speaker 1: did you do when you saw that they weren't being safe?
Speaker 1: And what were they doing? Like just kissing each other?
Speaker 1: I mean I wouldn't I wouldn't be I wouldn't surprised
Speaker 1: if that was what they were doing when I wasn't looking.
Speaker 1: How much can you notice from your so were you
Speaker 1: wearing my hat? That that? Oddly, that was how I
Speaker 1: got to be in disguised by not wearing a hat
Speaker 1: because I used to wear a hat all the time
Speaker 1: and then I dyed my hair. And so if with
Speaker 1: me wearing a mask or a bandana and then not
Speaker 1: having a hat, people don't know who I know. We
Speaker 1: we actually, by the way, we actually have because you
Speaker 1: asked what was going on in there, we actually have
Speaker 1: in the archives what was going on and saide that
Speaker 1: was recording the set sents. So this might actually be
Speaker 1: helpful for you. You can actually have this this footage
Speaker 1: if you want it. Commure like, give me look, I
Speaker 1: want to tell you some choke. Let's touch tongues. So hey,
Speaker 1: so what is the deal with the guys? Excuse me?
Speaker 1: That is that Chekroger from comedy? No, it's not. Now
Speaker 1: he doesn't have a hat on doesn't a hat on him? Hey?
Speaker 1: So so I'm working at this bit. Hey, hey, work
Speaker 1: on this bit and working on this bit. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: working on this bit. Is about dating? Which one the
Speaker 1: one that you fart in my mouth and I phone yours? No, no,
Speaker 1: it's no. It's the one where you you shipped in
Speaker 1: my mouth and then I fart in your eyes and
Speaker 1: then I lick my own. Are you going to actually
Speaker 1: take O? Do that? I mean? I just saw you
Speaker 1: touch tongues. Who are you? Yeah? Who are you you? Oh?
Speaker 1: I'm nobody important. Just keep going it. Krueger. No, No,
Speaker 1: there's no there's no half. There's no half, there's no cane.
Speaker 1: But please continue. Krueger doesn't have blond hair, does he?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I would have no idea what his
Speaker 1: hair looks like because it's he's always hat How would
Speaker 1: I know? Anyways, So dating his heart and alright, and
Speaker 1: then you're if you're gonna go through COVID and talk
Speaker 1: about dating. Still, all right, I'm gonna book you for that.
Speaker 1: You take him to what's jail? Like, just take a
Speaker 1: room in your house and you just put them there. No,
Speaker 1: I take them and I put them in the Flappers
Speaker 1: you who room forever. I do that room all the time.
Speaker 1: I record all my sets. You want to hear one
Speaker 1: of my sets? Yeah? I do. Actually, so I have
Speaker 1: his producer that us me fucking crazy. It's but it's
Speaker 1: really funny. He's so stupid. Oh what, Oh I'm booing.
Speaker 1: You are, get off the stage. Let me let me
Speaker 1: pull up a set where people were laughing. Uh, you
Speaker 1: guys didn't have a producer that there so crazy that
Speaker 1: you just want to take a gun that you originally
Speaker 1: had the intention of blowing your own head off, but
Speaker 1: then you thought, maybe if you can get your producer
Speaker 1: to give you a very tight hug from behind, and
Speaker 1: when you blew your head off, you can blow his
Speaker 1: at the same time. Oh sorry, Jesus, sorry boo. Is
Speaker 1: that it's the same guy, right? Which one? The guy
Speaker 1: keeps blowing you, he like keeps coming back to watch
Speaker 1: you and you knew my name. Yeah, I'm just getting bad.
Speaker 1: We have where when they asked you to come back
Speaker 1: and headline. No, true Haating is really hard when you're
Speaker 1: hosting a show. You you do as you talk about
Speaker 1: good events. I'm not done yet. I've been trying to
Speaker 1: lose weight. Yeah, it's kind of hard, especially during a
Speaker 1: time when you're just constantly hosting a show and your
Speaker 1: producers checks you out so much. Sorry, why are you
Speaker 1: doing this? We're friends? So that set didn't go very well.
Speaker 1: That guy, oh he did his own set and I
Speaker 1: have a tape from that. He booked on the show.
Speaker 1: Or was the open mic? This is open make baby
Speaker 1: all right? You got the headline and open mic? Yeah, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: They're typically open makes you do five minutes and then
Speaker 1: when your headline you do eight. This must be a
Speaker 1: Flappers thing. It's the real life baby. Yeah. High great,
Speaker 1: great looking crowd here. I love this guy. Oh good, okay,
Speaker 1: so um, you know one of the great things about
Speaker 1: being able to you show with your with your best
Speaker 1: friend in the world. I don't know if he was
Speaker 1: laughing at yeah at the at the fact that he
Speaker 1: anyway said, I thought he was my friend. But so,
Speaker 1: what's the most what's the most gratuitous offense that you
Speaker 1: found during COVID comedy? You know, there are people who
Speaker 1: are doing open mics indoors in their apartment throughout the
Speaker 1: whole time. Can you names and names that? That was like?
Speaker 1: And I personally felt like, I have this platform, it's
Speaker 1: been around for over a decade and people trust it.
Speaker 1: And I felt like I had a whole line at
Speaker 1: some point, especially because you know, comedians often are dumb
Speaker 1: and so like if you, yeah, if you tell them that, like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, this is what the city or the county says,
Speaker 1: but I say it's fine, then they're just gonna go
Speaker 1: run off with that. And I didn't want to feel
Speaker 1: responsible for that. Little cowboys with microphones and holsters, well
Speaker 1: they think that they're cowboys, but they're they're so not.
Speaker 1: But they they're not in desperadoes with microphones and holsters, right,
Speaker 1: which is just really just a microphone inside of a bucket, right.
Speaker 1: You know, we actually have in the archives an old
Speaker 1: episode of of comedy Desperado. Do you remember that show
Speaker 1: when I was on? No, I don't think I have
Speaker 1: any It's like back back in like, it's like back
Speaker 1: in the fifties stand up comic and they were they
Speaker 1: were cowboys, like the stand up comedies that were cowboys.
Speaker 1: I guess you want to hear that. I would love
Speaker 1: to hear that. I kind of already know what it
Speaker 1: sounds like. But here goes for what is the deal
Speaker 1: with women? It is like to the show the Rights.
Speaker 1: If you get through the races, that's pretty bad. It's
Speaker 1: pretty bad. Cowboy comedy didn't age. Well, that's what you're
Speaker 1: telling me. Public comedy would have been canceled on Twitter
Speaker 1: within five minutes of debuting, but it would have done
Speaker 1: very well on Parlor and Getter and and YouTube, and
Speaker 1: it would just it would have crushed the desk quad community.
Speaker 1: They would have I don't know if you heard of
Speaker 1: those guys that that that and he's a huge fit
Speaker 1: and that and Legion's skanks? Is that what you're referencing to?
Speaker 1: Who are you calling a legion of skanks? You know
Speaker 1: we actually have a clip of that. We don't. We
Speaker 1: really don't. After all that, you really don't have a
Speaker 1: couple of this one. So where are you from? Well?
Speaker 1: I was born in the Philippines, so nice, and you know,
Speaker 1: funny enough. I actually am really adopted. I'm saying, no,
Speaker 1: this is really fun. I know that it was in
Speaker 1: the it was in the bio, but it escaped me.
Speaker 1: You're so frustrated with your producer. Escaped you? Did I
Speaker 1: tell you this? Yeah, yeah, it did escape me. You know,
Speaker 1: dictates life and the life dictates the art. I think
Speaker 1: it was anything that you need to want to plug
Speaker 1: we talk about. I know that I heard the website.
Speaker 1: It's getting a new revamp. It's getting a new revamp, yes,
Speaker 1: and a couple of months. So the way it is
Speaker 1: now is not the revamp. No, it got revamped before COVID,
Speaker 1: and it was. It was really great and then it
Speaker 1: became kind of useless because everything was virtual. But then
Speaker 1: the cool thing about that was I got to cover
Speaker 1: comedy globally, like because if as long as you get
Speaker 1: the right time zone, um, you could like just watch
Speaker 1: shows in English. I mean, albeit it was on zoom
Speaker 1: or whatever around the world. So it's getting revamped, and uh,
Speaker 1: I'm going to celebrate the tenth and eleventh year anniversary
Speaker 1: at the end of October. Hopefully it's in the works.
Speaker 1: I didn't celebrate ten years last year, um, because doing
Speaker 1: that on zoom would be I think inappropriate. And also
Speaker 1: got appendence that is that week and almost died, so yeah,
Speaker 1: I didn't do anything uh that week and um yeah,
Speaker 1: so I postponed that and just you know, kind of
Speaker 1: was hoping for doing like a ten and eleven year
Speaker 1: double anniversary and if I get my druthers about it,
Speaker 1: I'll like, you know, we'll see what happens. But I
Speaker 1: would love to do a simultaneous show in l A
Speaker 1: and York. So like a show in l A at
Speaker 1: a p m and New York at eleven PM at
Speaker 1: like a different venue, and maybe I could like zoom
Speaker 1: into the other one. Which one will you be at live?
Speaker 1: Probably the l A one, and then you're just gonna
Speaker 1: zoom into the New York one, but maybe they have
Speaker 1: it on different days than I go to both. Maybe
Speaker 1: you have a T show, uh huh, it's a regular basis.
Speaker 1: I'm going to get a TV show between now and
Speaker 1: the end of October, and hey, if you can make
Speaker 1: that happen please, that'd be lovely. And it was some
Speaker 1: people We actually have you think about it the archives.
Speaker 1: What do we have of you pitching? Yeah, a show,
Speaker 1: A TV show me Yeah, we actually have that. You
Speaker 1: meeting with the producers to you want to healk about
Speaker 1: it quick. We found what we recorded it with, as
Speaker 1: you permission, the opposite of archives in the future. It's
Speaker 1: in the future of that show being packed. Wait he
Speaker 1: does not by Christopher. No, then here's the future audio clip.
Speaker 1: All right, so let me see if I get this straight.
Speaker 1: Your pitch for your idea for your show is you
Speaker 1: slowly drive by comedy clubs to see if there's some
Speaker 1: sort of COVID violation. That's a picture you did when
Speaker 1: you're on the East Coast. I'm gonna see what I'm
Speaker 1: gonna find the pitch you did in the West coast
Speaker 1: for the Hollywood types. Hey, babe to talk to me.
Speaker 1: Did you know that's not That's not what he would
Speaker 1: sound like, more like are you? And it was just
Speaker 1: changed that the guy I think your pitching too voice
Speaker 1: said he was I think he was an actor and
Speaker 1: he was rehearsing. He was running his own lines for
Speaker 1: what he would be doing. Also, maybe he caught himself like, wait,
Speaker 1: do we say babe anymore? Is that politically correct? The
Speaker 1: eighties that we're going forward in time, we can continue
Speaker 1: playing it. Yeah, no, I wonder to see where discuses
Speaker 1: red leather, yellow leather, red leather, yellow leather. Okay, so
Speaker 1: let's see. Let me see if excuse me, let me
Speaker 1: see if I get this straight. Babe were using babe
Speaker 1: and then gender neutral sense. I don't know what's gonna
Speaker 1: not give me? Kids, Why don't you just not say it?
Speaker 1: Because it was really not too far in the future,
Speaker 1: maybe like a month a month. Yeah, if I'm going
Speaker 1: to get a TV show before the anniversary, yeah, it's
Speaker 1: probably like probably it's from from December or something. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: I'm excited. It's a great website. You can find out
Speaker 1: all the shows that are playing live in l A
Speaker 1: and New York, LA and New York and virtually everywhere
Speaker 1: and virtually everywhere, And there's spots for open mics people
Speaker 1: who want to work out their demons, right, and that
Speaker 1: includes improv jams too. Are the improv jams back in
Speaker 1: New York? They are in l A and not yet
Speaker 1: really where in New York are they? The pit mainly?
Speaker 1: But is it pit open again? Yeah? What else? There's
Speaker 1: another one I just can't think of at the top
Speaker 1: of my head. They're open Miccine is a mess. Yeah, Jacob, Jacob.
Speaker 1: H I think I called you Jacob once you get
Speaker 1: very mad at me. Yeah, it's very it's too proper
Speaker 1: for men. Sorry, Jake, you call him Chrissy chris see
Speaker 1: or can I tell you my birth name as an
Speaker 1: adopted person? No, it's Fausto. Yeah, wish do you like
Speaker 1: the best? I think fauster fits my style as it does.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I saw you working towards me.
Speaker 1: I would say it's a Fausto, right, not a Jake.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm contending with it. It feels weird. Hannah,
Speaker 1: I'm binder exclusively almost calls me Falsto, and so would I. Okay, fine,
Speaker 1: I give I grant you permissioner. It's so dramatic that name,
Speaker 1: Fausto Kroger. It's been a pleasure. Thanks for having me,
Speaker 1: all right, you're welcome. Coming up Act three the first
Speaker 1: A word from our sponsors who make this high quality
Speaker 1: program possible. Stay with us at three. He's a good friend.
Speaker 1: Brought him his favorite cookie, Crisp Cereal, but we got
Speaker 1: to get the milk. It was a common thing she
Speaker 1: would do. It's with a very nice gesture, getting him
Speaker 1: a serial He liked the beer he wanted, or the
Speaker 1: sandwiches he was craving. But you'd always forget a certain element,
Speaker 1: the lunch meat, Brandon beer in this case, milk. No,
Speaker 1: it's fine, it's fine. I'll still eat it. It's fine,
Speaker 1: don't worry about it. Are you sure it's it's fine.
Speaker 1: I'll just I'll eat it the way it's not. I'll
Speaker 1: do it. I'll get what you want, get you the
Speaker 1: right stuff. I thought you said you weren't going to
Speaker 1: talk to her anymore? Why are you wasting some time
Speaker 1: with her? She's always bringing you the wrong stuff. But
Speaker 1: I'm always here for you. Where's she right here, right now?
Speaker 1: Ready to go? I'm ready to go? Where? How much
Speaker 1: longer the store? How much longer is your sister gonna
Speaker 1: be staying with us? Can you not see that she's
Speaker 1: going through a hard time? I get it? But why
Speaker 1: just because this just puts me in an uncomfortable position?
Speaker 1: How do you think it makes me feel? I'm not great?
Speaker 1: I'm sure. Maybe maybe I'm forgetting the milk because she's
Speaker 1: into you. Maybe that's what's on my mind. Maybe that's
Speaker 1: why I'm so indy you because she forgets the milk
Speaker 1: I'm so andy you she brings you a sandwich, you'd
Speaker 1: no fucking lunch meat? Cheryl, can you just listen to yourself?
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Darling, listen to myself. I can hear myself
Speaker 1: speaking to myself right now. You can hear are you listening? Griam?
Speaker 1: Thank you for for making disappointment Darlene and Cheryl disappointment.
Speaker 1: Darlene touched Nave. I'm as you know, Dr Rebba Flavin,
Speaker 1: So why don't you tell me? Is it Riboflavin or
Speaker 1: Rebbe Flavin? He just said, Dr Jesus, this can't be
Speaker 1: the whole session. My name doesn't really matter. What really
Speaker 1: matters is what is going on between the two of
Speaker 1: your sisters. I'm sorry, I'll take it. So why don't you,
Speaker 1: Darlene tell me why Cheryl's behavior? I'm really sorry. It's
Speaker 1: robot Floff. Okay, Yeah, that's what I say. You're not
Speaker 1: okay with Dr RoboCop? No, okay not If he was RoboCop,
Speaker 1: that would be nice, It would be that'd be so different. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well it would also not be my name. You're gonna
Speaker 1: go through therapy dead or alive? No, no, no no, it's
Speaker 1: something like that. Don't you think you would have more
Speaker 1: thory as a doctor RoboCop. I think so, But then
Speaker 1: the story would be so dynamic. Alright, I admit that
Speaker 1: that would be pretty awesome if my name was Dr RoboCop.
Speaker 1: But unfortunately my adoptive parents their last name was RoboCop,
Speaker 1: but that chose to let me keep my last name.
Speaker 1: At that moment, Dadin found her calling. She was gonna
Speaker 1: go pitch West Hollywood produced an idea of RoboCop therapists.
Speaker 1: So that what you got it, give me the pitch,
Speaker 1: Give it to me straight, give it to me good,
Speaker 1: give it to me hard. So basically it's RoboCop, but
Speaker 1: he's the therapist. So let's say at least like a therapist.
Speaker 1: I actually shot some I want to show you. So
Speaker 1: in this scene, the therapist is like there with some
Speaker 1: bad bad uh you know, patience clients. And then they
Speaker 1: shoot him up and he's like uhnn. And then and
Speaker 1: then they take him to the hospital and they're like,
Speaker 1: we gotta be s dead and they say there's a
Speaker 1: new program. We're gonna give a spotty part. This is
Speaker 1: the log line. You're you're just giving me an entire
Speaker 1: scenes here. You know this movie and then I said,
Speaker 1: we're gonna with some parts, so you're getting the role
Speaker 1: on the parts of robotic. And then he gets put
Speaker 1: it back together and then he's the therapist robs therapistubble babe.
Speaker 1: It's sweet, Hits. I gotta tell you, there's no the
Speaker 1: reason for me to watch the clip now because you
Speaker 1: basically think I think you should watch clip here. It did.
Speaker 1: Let me pause that, so let me tell you what
Speaker 1: the scene is again, and then I want to play it. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: In this scene, the therapist has patience. They're like bad
Speaker 1: guys and they shoot him up here and then it
Speaker 1: goes to hospital and they're like, we'll do them. They're
Speaker 1: gonna post them some robot robot part right here's that scene,
Speaker 1: taking your own result issues with your mother. I think
Speaker 1: I picked the wrong thing because it's not a robot. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I know. So why don't you go back to the
Speaker 1: scene that you're talking about? You keep scenes. This is
Speaker 1: the part right here, right here here it is. I
Speaker 1: think your issues of codependence are routed. Didn't need that
Speaker 1: was the wrong take because the actor I told him,
Speaker 1: you're not going to do the robot voice until you
Speaker 1: become a robot fucking idiots. I had to tell h
Speaker 1: a hundred times, you know how many times to tell
Speaker 1: him he's did not listen. Yeah, I get it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it sounds like, let me just find that sounds like
Speaker 1: operator air. You're you're you're clicking to this scene. I'm stupid.
Speaker 1: I don't I put it press button. This is the
Speaker 1: end of the film. You skipped ahead to the end
Speaker 1: of the movie. I told you, I'm not good with technologies.
Speaker 1: I just don't get it. You basically spelled out what
Speaker 1: the scene was, and then you didn't even get to
Speaker 1: the scene that you're talking about. It seems any my
Speaker 1: problem every time, and it sounds to me, actually already
Speaker 1: made this movie sod because I don't know. I found
Speaker 1: this skuy. He would said. I'm a producer. I said, okay,
Speaker 1: what do you produce this? I produces radio show, so
Speaker 1: I know what it is like to get some information
Speaker 1: and then run with it. I said, are you sure?
Speaker 1: Said yes, I'm very good that I do it every
Speaker 1: week on Mondays. I said, So I hired him, and
Speaker 1: so he came and I say, here's the script. He
Speaker 1: looked script. He read it because I wrote it. I
Speaker 1: wrote it on paper. He read it said, oh, I understand.
Speaker 1: And in this scene, and he asked for notes, He said,
Speaker 1: what am I feeling here? I said, this thing is
Speaker 1: your emotions? He got it? What about this? No? Got it? Okay?
Speaker 1: In action, any did with the wanting? So do you
Speaker 1: happen to have any footage of that of him doing
Speaker 1: whatever he wanted? No? Because I'm here to get money
Speaker 1: to reshoot it because I didn't like what I got. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: good news for you, because I loved everything I heard. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you say, I really love the footage that I actually heard.
Speaker 1: I am willing to give you a budget of four
Speaker 1: hundred million dollars to make this film. What's the biggest
Speaker 1: budget in Hollywood so far? It's nowhere near that much.
Speaker 1: That dwarfs any budget of any movie. Yeah, I don't care.
Speaker 1: I like your smile. I like the way you look
Speaker 1: at me. I like your face, to like your hips,
Speaker 1: to like your body, or like everything about you. Baba,
Speaker 1: Come on, tell me your name? On what time? I
Speaker 1: think I said it earlier? I forgot. I'm sorry. I
Speaker 1: just got your business cards. Somebody gave it to me
Speaker 1: at the hotel. I am crand starred crand start rob
Speaker 1: flour of m Not too long after that, an article
Speaker 1: came out about grand star big time producer being a
Speaker 1: very cat like type exchanging favors movies made foot a
Speaker 1: million dollars make a movie? Who the hell leads to
Speaker 1: this information? Who got this information about me? It couldn't
Speaker 1: have been Jake Kroger because it was only one guy
Speaker 1: in the room with us, and he wasn't wearing a hat,
Speaker 1: So I don't think it was how Jake, No, it's Jake?
Speaker 1: Is that you know it's not me? Jake? No? But
Speaker 1: this pork by hat on No, Jake doesn't own proke
Speaker 1: by hats. I don't know. I think you How would
Speaker 1: I know I'm not Jake Roger? Oh? Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1: So you were saying, right, you're off the hook that
Speaker 1: I'm saying, I'm pissed my career is really best for
Speaker 1: you to Dude, I'm more pissed than you are. You're
Speaker 1: not really showing how pissed you are. I spent four
Speaker 1: rimllion dollars trying to let cook up with some chick
Speaker 1: when you could just hired a professional for like a
Speaker 1: thousand bucks or something. I don't know how was it
Speaker 1: called because when you're playing with casino money, you spend
Speaker 1: it all. You don't play with your own money. This
Speaker 1: was the studio's money. Still a lot of money, dude,
Speaker 1: Do you understand pricing? Wait? You aren't? Yeah? Why why
Speaker 1: would you say that? Because you were standing behind that
Speaker 1: lamp just now and the lampshade kind of looked like
Speaker 1: a hat on your head. Didn't know? What do you
Speaker 1: know what hats look like? It's a good question. I've
Speaker 1: never seen war before. What what? What? Why? Is that
Speaker 1: a good question? I don't want to, dude, because someone
Speaker 1: a good question comes from him. What is your name?
Speaker 1: It's you look like a friend of mine, Baustian, Boustian friend?
Speaker 1: Remember his name? I wouldn't know what's his name? Bouston? Fouston, Boston.
Speaker 1: He looks at Fouston, doesn't he? Bouston sounds like a
Speaker 1: good guy. You should trust a Bouston. Oh, I gotta
Speaker 1: pitch for you. Okay, okay, check us out. So it's
Speaker 1: guying him Fauston right, and um, he's got an alter ego,
Speaker 1: dude who goes in and like swoops in like fixes
Speaker 1: things that are going on wrong in the comedy community.
Speaker 1: That guy's name is Jake, but nobody knows like it
Speaker 1: was like, why is Jake and Fauston never in the
Speaker 1: same room at the same time? And he busts comedians
Speaker 1: for do who are doing bad things during not necessarily
Speaker 1: bad things, like he's like, we're behaving, you're responsibly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like during like I don't know, like and I don't
Speaker 1: name a thing. I don't know. I'll just pick something
Speaker 1: out of their pandemic something like that. Okay, yeah, how
Speaker 1: much you can move for it? I hate to low
Speaker 1: ball you, but three million? What do I have to do?
Speaker 1: Who do for that? You know? Bab touch? All I
Speaker 1: have to do is touch tongues. This is a part
Speaker 1: of the meeting where we spiting each other's mouth Come on, fastings.
Speaker 1: It's fine. Wait not Jake? Are you am? I wearing
Speaker 1: a hat? Not yet? Where this hat? After? How about
Speaker 1: this hat? Because it is Jake? Yeah, Jake. So you
Speaker 1: guys want to get back to spinding each other's mouths
Speaker 1: and sucking and sucking Andy and especially guess contributing Krger
Speaker 1: means sorry, yeah, sorry, what did I say? He said
Speaker 1: bousting because he couldn't remember about sorry it would you Andy?
Speaker 1: Especially guests contributor that was still clog, I'm your story
Speaker 1: and this was This is Americans Live and the next time.
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