1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,680 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:19,319 Speaker 1: Today's tip is to give praise that works. That is, 4 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 1: praise that leaves the person feeling good, and that increases 5 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:27,720 Speaker 1: the chances that the behavior will occur again. When it 6 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: comes to praise, there are really just two important lessons 7 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 1: to keep in mind, whether you're praising adults or kids 8 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 1: at work or in your personal life. First, you should 9 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:43,960 Speaker 1: praise the process rather than labeling the person. It's really 10 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:48,520 Speaker 1: easy to praise someone by proclaiming them a genius, a Picasso, 11 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: Ceo material or the like. Labels like these just roll 12 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: off the tongue and don't require us to think or 13 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: reflect much about the person's performance or its impact. They 14 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,839 Speaker 1: can feel good in the moment, though they can also 15 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 1: come off as insincere or meaningless because they're so vague. 16 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,960 Speaker 1: But there's a bigger issue than their vagueness. When we 17 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,319 Speaker 1: give praise. By labeling people, we can make them less 18 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: willing to take on a challenge and risk failure in 19 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: the future. They become so attached to the label that 20 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: they're reluctant to do something that might cause them to 21 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:32,679 Speaker 1: lose it. Psychologist Carol Dweck and her team famously conducted 22 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,679 Speaker 1: research on the effect of praising children's effort versus praising 23 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: their intelligence. They found that kids who were praised for 24 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: success on a set of problems with words like wow, 25 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 1: you must have worked really hard, that is, praising their effort, 26 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:50,680 Speaker 1: wanted to take on more challenging problems in the future. 27 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 1: On the other hand, kids whose intelligence was praised, wow, 28 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: you must be smart at this I didn't want to 29 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:02,880 Speaker 1: take on challenging problems and perform less well. They didn't 30 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: want to try something hard for fear that they would 31 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:10,240 Speaker 1: no longer be seen as smart. Do what concludes that 32 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:14,360 Speaker 1: we're better off praising effort or process rather than labeling 33 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 1: people as having fixed traits. So rather than tell a 34 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:21,639 Speaker 1: kid good job on her homeworker, you're such a math genius, 35 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:25,560 Speaker 1: you might say that was a challenging fraction problem and 36 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 1: you solved it. I see you tried several different approaches 37 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 1: until you've found one that worked. And rather than tell 38 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: an employee that she's a great speaker, you might say, 39 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: I've heard you mentioned that presentations are stressful to you. 40 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 1: Let me tell you your preparation and practice on this 41 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,800 Speaker 1: one really paid off. You spoke fluidly and made your 42 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: points clearly, nicely done. Praising the process rather than labeling 43 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,639 Speaker 1: the person also works because process is within our control. 44 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: If you praise my use of multiple strategy needs to 45 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 1: solve a tough problem, or my clear communication, or my 46 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 1: willingness to put in the time to practice, I see 47 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 1: that those behaviors are valued and effective, and later, when 48 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: I encounter a similar situation, I'll be more likely to 49 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: turn to those behaviors which are within my control and 50 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:21,560 Speaker 1: are likely to lead to good outcomes. Again, the second 51 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,800 Speaker 1: part of giving praise that works connect your praise with 52 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:29,360 Speaker 1: the positive impact the praised behavior had. The Center for 53 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: Creative Leadership has an approach called situation behavior Impact. This 54 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:40,320 Speaker 1: method lets people know how their behavior influenced outcomes. Here's 55 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: how it works. For giving praise. You might say to 56 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: a kid, Molly, I liked how you suggested that you 57 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 1: and Jenny use a timer to help you take turns 58 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,840 Speaker 1: with the tire swing. You each had some fun and 59 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: there were no tears or at work, Sam, you were 60 00:03:56,480 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: so well prepared for that meeting. You'd anticipated every question 61 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,520 Speaker 1: our client had. Whether we land this contract or not. 62 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: I know you gave her a positive impression of our company. 63 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 1: This sort of praise is encouraging and better yet, now 64 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: just people to make equally smart choices in the future. 65 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:20,280 Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and 66 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 67 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 68 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 69 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod 70 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 1: that's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D. 71 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 72 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,719 Speaker 1: podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast 73 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 1: is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, 74 00:04:54,440 --> 00:05:02,640 Speaker 1: should I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast 75 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts 76 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 1: from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, 77 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. 78 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:14,520 Speaker 1: H