WEBVTT - The Light of a Narcissist with Jenny Mollen

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Hi, Hello Chelsea, Hi, how are you. I'm good.

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<v Speaker 1>It's it's a bright, beautiful day today here in Los Angeles.

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<v Speaker 1>I had a good recovery from my week of shows.

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<v Speaker 1>I slept for thirteen hours from Sunday to Monday, and

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<v Speaker 1>then Monday I went to bed at nine with Joe.

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<v Speaker 1>I like when he goes to sleep early too, and

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<v Speaker 1>we just I just catch my sleep during the week,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. I Actually this is gonna sound so l a,

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<v Speaker 1>but I had a meeting with a shaman weeks ago.

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<v Speaker 1>I love yes, and as he did basically like a

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<v Speaker 1>body scan and pulled cards like these animal cards for

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<v Speaker 1>each part of my body. And one thing he told

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<v Speaker 1>me was he asked when I'm sleeping. He told me

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<v Speaker 1>it's kind of later in the night, to know, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>a little later in the morning then maybe like someone

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<v Speaker 1>with kids or something. But he told me I need

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<v Speaker 1>to start going to bed at nine pm and waking

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<v Speaker 1>up at verse six. He said, the time between nine

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<v Speaker 1>and midnight is when your body is in healing mode.

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<v Speaker 1>So he said, you're not allowing your body to heal

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<v Speaker 1>from midnight on. It's like preparing for the next day. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>So I kind of blew my mind a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm like, maybe I should try this. I love going

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<v Speaker 1>to bed at nine o'clock. I mean, nothing gives me

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<v Speaker 1>more pleasure than knowing because then I'm so energized in

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<v Speaker 1>the morning and I'm so clear. I love it. I

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<v Speaker 1>love sleep. I can't tell you how much I love sleep.

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<v Speaker 1>I just love it. Are you a good sleeper? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>I mean I wake up a lot, so that's annoying.

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<v Speaker 1>But if I don't drink, I can have a really

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<v Speaker 1>good night's sleep. I mean I pee. I have to

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<v Speaker 1>pee like twice a night, so that's that's annoying. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>sure that will only get worse as time goes on.

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<v Speaker 1>But Joe doesn't get up to pe in the middle

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<v Speaker 1>of the night. I envy him for that. My husband

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<v Speaker 1>will drink like a liter of water right before bed,

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<v Speaker 1>and then he has to get up. I'm like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a reason for that. Hello, we understand why. But

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<v Speaker 1>he just gets very thirsty. He's very thirsty. Well at

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<v Speaker 1>least yeah, Well, I guess he's thirsty while he's sleeping,

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<v Speaker 1>which is an unusual phenomenon. Right, I have shows coming

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<v Speaker 1>up tomorrow night. I am in Springfield, Massachusetts, that's June

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<v Speaker 1>sevente and I'm in Windsor, Ontario at Caesar's Windsor the Coliseum.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm coming to Vancouver and Calgary and Honolulu and

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<v Speaker 1>Cahulu Cahulu, Hawaii. That's on Maui, Honolulu and Mauie. I

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<v Speaker 1>will be there July one and July three, and I

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<v Speaker 1>will have my lover with me there, so I know

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<v Speaker 1>how much Hawaiian's love that excellent. I do have an

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<v Speaker 1>update for us, Chelsea. What is it? What is this?

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<v Speaker 1>Is from remember the woman who called in who her

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<v Speaker 1>daughter heard her having sex and was very upset. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>the daughter wrote in, I'm very excited about it. The

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<v Speaker 1>subject line is twenty year old daughter overhearing mother having sex.

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<v Speaker 1>I am the daughter, Dear Chelsea. She says, just listen

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<v Speaker 1>to the episode comic stating comment in which I was

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<v Speaker 1>featured in a story my mother quote, Jenny wrote it,

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<v Speaker 1>I love this. This is the story of my life.

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<v Speaker 1>Is talking about someone who I don't think is ever

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<v Speaker 1>going to listen to the platform I'm on and finding

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<v Speaker 1>out within thirty seconds. Yes, she said, I'm not looking

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<v Speaker 1>for any sort of public update, but I thought i'd

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<v Speaker 1>feel you guys, in in case you were curious. I

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<v Speaker 1>don't live with my mom, but was home visiting from

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<v Speaker 1>college for one night. That's the night she chose to

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<v Speaker 1>have someone over, so surely it was intentional. I also

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<v Speaker 1>didn't call her perverted or a slot, but I did

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<v Speaker 1>say I felt disgusted because well I did. This is

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<v Speaker 1>the third or fourth time I've experienced her doing this,

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<v Speaker 1>and after having many conversations, I was quite honestly over it,

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<v Speaker 1>which resulted in me not speaking to her for a

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<v Speaker 1>few months. Once I was able to get the image

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<v Speaker 1>somewhat out of my head, I was ready to speak again.

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<v Speaker 1>I love my mom, and she's made me a very

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<v Speaker 1>strong woman who's unashamed of my sexuality. I all so.

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<v Speaker 1>I think she's a badass and a beautiful woman who

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<v Speaker 1>should be able to bang every man on the black. However,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd like it if our sex lives could be kept separate.

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<v Speaker 1>I love the podcast and listen to every episode. I

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<v Speaker 1>have no clue how I missed this episode until now,

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<v Speaker 1>probably because I wasn't talking to my mom L O L. However,

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<v Speaker 1>we're all good now, and although our relationship won't be

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<v Speaker 1>quite the same, it is somewhat back to normal. I

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<v Speaker 1>emailed her asking if it was okay to share this.

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<v Speaker 1>She said sure, I'll look forward to listening. I wanted

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<v Speaker 1>to add that my mom offered me tickets to Chelsea's

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<v Speaker 1>show in Jacksonville, and it was definitely the icebreaker we needed,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe a subtle bribe, but also there was no point

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<v Speaker 1>in staying angry since it all worked out. We loved

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<v Speaker 1>the show. Thanks the profane daughter. Wow, I love that.

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<v Speaker 1>I know what a cutie. Yeah, I mean that is

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<v Speaker 1>sucked up, like if your mom saves them one night

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<v Speaker 1>for you when you're home. But how did your the

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<v Speaker 1>daughter know that it's that one night that she doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>funk all the time, you know what I mean? And

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<v Speaker 1>that that's just like her daughter's there. It's like that

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<v Speaker 1>can't be too much of an inconvenient I agree with her, though,

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<v Speaker 1>there's no reason of sex while your daughter's home. You

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<v Speaker 1>can't take a couple of nights off of fucking, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>come on, do a popcorn and a movie night with

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<v Speaker 1>your daughter. Yeah, put a plug in it or something. Jeez,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm glad they're all back together. That sounds nice. Yeah, exactly. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>before we get to all the fun stuff, we'll take

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<v Speaker 1>a quick break. Okay, sounds good. We'll be right back. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>So we have a very good friend of mine on

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<v Speaker 1>the podcast today. She's an author, she's a memoirist. She's

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<v Speaker 1>got a new book coming out that I'm really excited about.

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<v Speaker 1>It's called City of Likes. She also has a podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Joe and I were her very first guest on her podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>It's called third Wheel. We tell our love story on

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<v Speaker 1>that podcast. Oh and City of Likes is already being

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<v Speaker 1>adapted into a TV show with Diablo Cody attached. So

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<v Speaker 1>that's another person that I like a lot that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>friends with. I'm friends with a lot of people that

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<v Speaker 1>I do not like, but I'm also friends with a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of people that I do like. That's not true.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not friends with anyone I don't like. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>have time for that kind of those kinds of shenanigans.

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<v Speaker 1>But her name is Jenny Mullin. Hello, Hi are you on? Hi?

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<v Speaker 1>Hi sid Biggs. I'm said Biggs today in London. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>you're in London? Yeah? Oh my god. Later for her,

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<v Speaker 1>it's seven o'clock right. I don't even know anymore. I

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<v Speaker 1>took any ambient yesterday. I'm just I'm on an ambien now, Jenny,

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<v Speaker 1>so don't worry. Fabulous, I love it. I always like

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<v Speaker 1>to take an ambien or a muscle relaxer. Right before

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<v Speaker 1>I got started, I didn't know you were going to London.

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<v Speaker 1>I just had Katherine. I just had dinner with Jenny

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<v Speaker 1>and Jason in the city the other night, Joe, Jenny,

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<v Speaker 1>and because we're a quartet now, the four of us,

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<v Speaker 1>they're so they're so excited. Oh yeah, we all wore

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<v Speaker 1>Khaki and we all yeah, and they're so excited that

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<v Speaker 1>I actually have a real boyfriend that people like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>people just are so psyched about it. And then we

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<v Speaker 1>saw Sarah Silverman's play The Bedwetter. Yes, yeah, it was great.

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<v Speaker 1>There's this girl and it who's awesome, the girl that

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<v Speaker 1>plays Sarah so Rman as a young girl. She was

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<v Speaker 1>really awesome. And we had a lot of book talk

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<v Speaker 1>because Jenny, who is a really good friend of mine,

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<v Speaker 1>has a new book coming out which has she has

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<v Speaker 1>been toiling away on in the same vein as you

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<v Speaker 1>know Ernest Hemingway pretty much. She was working on this

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<v Speaker 1>book for so long and so fiercely that it is

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<v Speaker 1>really something to celebrate that It has been printed and

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<v Speaker 1>is coming out on June. Yes, everybody, It's called City

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<v Speaker 1>of Likes So long. That last time Chelsea sent me

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<v Speaker 1>her book, the inscription said, here's my book, Where the

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<v Speaker 1>fuck is yours? So long? It literally before ever this one.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like a pregnancy that won't end. Yeah, that's a

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<v Speaker 1>really long pregnancy. So talk to us a little bit.

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<v Speaker 1>Tell our listeners about the book, because I would describe

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<v Speaker 1>it as a great commentary on modern society, present day society,

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<v Speaker 1>and the embarrassing nature we all have towards social media. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's definitely takes wipes at a lot of these influencers

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<v Speaker 1>that you know, we either follow, we hate follow, or

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<v Speaker 1>we just like still have them in our feed like

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<v Speaker 1>we don't know how to get rid of them, we

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<v Speaker 1>don't know how to like pull away. And it really

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<v Speaker 1>gets into this culture that we're living in right now,

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<v Speaker 1>where we are so addicted to this need for external validation.

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<v Speaker 1>And I really wanted to write a book that dealt

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<v Speaker 1>with the stuff that I was seeing in Manhattan, where

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<v Speaker 1>you know, when I got to New York, I felt

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<v Speaker 1>like in l A the currencies fame. So you're only

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<v Speaker 1>as good as the last pilot, you shot like, that's

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<v Speaker 1>the only reason people will only talk to you if

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<v Speaker 1>you're like on a billboard or a TV show. When

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<v Speaker 1>I got to New York, it was interesting though, because

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<v Speaker 1>I sort of came with these strings attached. I had

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<v Speaker 1>this following of women between the ages of eighteen to

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<v Speaker 1>twenty five with a little bit of buying power, and

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<v Speaker 1>these influencers but also brands. And it's not really ladies

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<v Speaker 1>who lunch anymore, it's ladies who launched. So they all

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<v Speaker 1>have their own companies. Whether they're fake companies are real,

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't really matter. But I was embraced by them, and

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<v Speaker 1>I was brought into this weird, underground sort of society

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<v Speaker 1>where it was like mommy supper clubs, power moms supper clubs,

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<v Speaker 1>and like weddings for dogs and fashion Week, crazy, these

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<v Speaker 1>parties that you would just like not believe we're real.

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<v Speaker 1>And a friend of mine said, Jenny, you can't write

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<v Speaker 1>another memoir right now. You need to write about what's

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<v Speaker 1>actually happening to you. And what I was seeing was

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<v Speaker 1>just this disparity between how we were like curating motherhood

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<v Speaker 1>and how we were presenting it to sort of our

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<v Speaker 1>fans and friends and followers, and then like what was

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<v Speaker 1>really going on? And that just kind of haunted me,

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<v Speaker 1>and whether I wanted to write a memoir or not,

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<v Speaker 1>I knew I will be driven out of New York

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<v Speaker 1>City if I don't call this book fiction. So that's

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<v Speaker 1>where we're starting off. Guys, that's funny. I mean, how

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<v Speaker 1>would you describe your relationship with social media? I would

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<v Speaker 1>say that before the pandemic, it was like a cigarette

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<v Speaker 1>that I would hide from my children, the other woman

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<v Speaker 1>in my marriage. You know. It was something that I

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<v Speaker 1>was doing that I knew I shouldn't be doing as

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<v Speaker 1>much as of it as I was doing. I didn't

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<v Speaker 1>really want to admit it to myself or my family.

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<v Speaker 1>And then once the pandemic hit and we were just

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<v Speaker 1>stuck in a house together, nobody could go anywhere. It

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<v Speaker 1>was like, guys, this is the real thing. What happening?

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<v Speaker 1>Are we gonna live or die? You know? Refresh every

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<v Speaker 1>ten fucking seconds. No, but I grapple with it all

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<v Speaker 1>the time. It's when you have kids, you're just riddled

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<v Speaker 1>with guilt in general, and all you kind of sit

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<v Speaker 1>there wondering is how am I going to suck them up?

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<v Speaker 1>And for me, it always comes back to I am

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<v Speaker 1>so desperately. I'm just so scared that one day my

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<v Speaker 1>kids are gonna look at me and say, like, why

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<v Speaker 1>did you choose that stranger on the phone over like

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<v Speaker 1>the people that were sitting in front of you, Why

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<v Speaker 1>did you reach for that? Even if it is a

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<v Speaker 1>path lavic reaction, it just it kills me to think

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<v Speaker 1>that this thing that I have this relationship for, this

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<v Speaker 1>like insatiable beast that I keep eating in order to

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<v Speaker 1>sustain my career is going to really impact my children.

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<v Speaker 1>That's just like for me, kill me. Yeah, but not

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<v Speaker 1>enough for you to stop using social media, especially right

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<v Speaker 1>now because I gotta sell the fucking box. Maybe I

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<v Speaker 1>can throw my phone out the window. Yeah, that's so funny.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so fucking true, though, I mean, who does who

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<v Speaker 1>feels I want to know who feels good after they

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<v Speaker 1>look at social media, especially if you're on a train

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<v Speaker 1>and you're just scrolling for a long period of time,

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<v Speaker 1>like if you're spending an hour or something doing it,

0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:33.920
<v Speaker 1>and then all of a sudden you realize that you've

0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:36.200
<v Speaker 1>been doing it and you don't have any remorse. Is

0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:38.760
<v Speaker 1>really where where the question lies? Because I feel like

0:11:39.040 --> 0:11:42.040
<v Speaker 1>that's pretty much where we are in society. Nobody gives

0:11:42.080 --> 0:11:47.400
<v Speaker 1>a funk about how shallow or empty it is. Vapid

0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:51.040
<v Speaker 1>is really the word, right, You're just like looking at

0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:53.480
<v Speaker 1>other people to decide what do you think about when

0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:55.760
<v Speaker 1>the phone tells you. The worst is when the phone

0:11:55.760 --> 0:11:59.160
<v Speaker 1>says you've scrolled enough, You've seen all there is to see.

0:11:59.160 --> 0:12:00.920
<v Speaker 1>There are no more update. It's like the person at

0:12:00.920 --> 0:12:06.480
<v Speaker 1>the bar being like, I think you're good. All right, right,

0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:10.959
<v Speaker 1>I've scrolled too much. My phone is telling me. Now,

0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:13.600
<v Speaker 1>first of all, I've never gotten that message, so I

0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:17.680
<v Speaker 1>think you. I think I think you're advance. Yeah have

0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:19.800
<v Speaker 1>you ever seen that? I have not. But I have

0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:23.440
<v Speaker 1>like a limiter. Oh yeah, my my thing. I did

0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:25.920
<v Speaker 1>once get to the end of Facebook, like back in

0:12:25.960 --> 0:12:27.200
<v Speaker 1>the day, and I was like, this was a waste

0:12:27.240 --> 0:12:29.760
<v Speaker 1>of a Friday night. It was. It was a terrible feeling.

0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:33.320
<v Speaker 1>It says you're all caught up. Oh my god. No,

0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:35.920
<v Speaker 1>I have like a limiter on there, and I always

0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:38.200
<v Speaker 1>in like fifteen more minutes, fifteen more minutes. The limit

0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:41.720
<v Speaker 1>does not exist. Give me fifteen more. Yeah, you have

0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:43.840
<v Speaker 1>a tier on Okay, that's that's a good idea, doesn't

0:12:43.880 --> 0:12:46.640
<v Speaker 1>do it? I've heard, I've heard of people having timers,

0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:48.880
<v Speaker 1>but you have to have will power in addition to

0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:53.000
<v Speaker 1>the timer. And now it's hard, it's so hard. Press

0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:56.520
<v Speaker 1>your situation. The marriage in the book is a big

0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:59.679
<v Speaker 1>part of it, and I think that mirrors your relationship

0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:01.760
<v Speaker 1>with j Sit a little bit right or a lot.

0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:03.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, Yeah, I really I knew when I

0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:05.920
<v Speaker 1>was writing the book that I didn't want the husband

0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.680
<v Speaker 1>to be Jason. So I was very conscious the whole

0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:10.800
<v Speaker 1>time that I didn't want to write him just because

0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:13.800
<v Speaker 1>I have memoirs and I wanted that dynamic to be different.

0:13:14.160 --> 0:13:17.880
<v Speaker 1>But it does talk about a relationship with you know,

0:13:17.920 --> 0:13:20.640
<v Speaker 1>somebody coming into your marriage and kind of pulling you out.

0:13:21.040 --> 0:13:23.760
<v Speaker 1>And not only have I had that happened, because I

0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:26.520
<v Speaker 1>do find these mentor figures that come into my life.

0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:29.720
<v Speaker 1>And or Chenny likes to like fixate on, you know,

0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:33.959
<v Speaker 1>somebody that she's either met or has stated, someone she's

0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:37.880
<v Speaker 1>stated or someone you know, Jason stated. She gets fixated

0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:41.040
<v Speaker 1>and she likes, Yeah, she likes to really focus on

0:13:41.040 --> 0:13:43.720
<v Speaker 1>that because she's fascinated by that person and she wants

0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:47.120
<v Speaker 1>to know everything that It's like, it's just so there's

0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:50.880
<v Speaker 1>just so much low hanging fruit there comedy. I just

0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:54.440
<v Speaker 1>love it, But no, I also find myself. I'm I'm

0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:58.920
<v Speaker 1>always finding these mommy figures and I attached and the

0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:01.120
<v Speaker 1>and they become men tours, and then all of a sudden,

0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:05.319
<v Speaker 1>I find myself just like kind of serving these narcissists

0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:08.960
<v Speaker 1>on some level. And there's no greater When the narcissist

0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:11.160
<v Speaker 1>shines their light on you, you like there is no

0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:13.480
<v Speaker 1>greater high. You just feel so seen, You're like I

0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:16.320
<v Speaker 1>am chosen. But when that light blows off, it's just

0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.520
<v Speaker 1>it can be so painful. And I know that in

0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:22.040
<v Speaker 1>these female relationships, we do sort of date each other,

0:14:22.400 --> 0:14:25.960
<v Speaker 1>and there are and I've experienced these relationships that do

0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:29.440
<v Speaker 1>kind of get toxic and and have on occasion pulled

0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:32.200
<v Speaker 1>me from maybe priorities at home what have you. And

0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:35.080
<v Speaker 1>I wanted to really get into that and discuss sort

0:14:35.080 --> 0:14:38.440
<v Speaker 1>of that dance that we do as women with other women.

0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:42.120
<v Speaker 1>So that's kind of more what in terms of the marriage,

0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:44.480
<v Speaker 1>There were definitely fights with Jason and I along the

0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:48.120
<v Speaker 1>way in regard to how much time I was spending

0:14:48.160 --> 0:14:52.240
<v Speaker 1>with this one particular person and how my life started

0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:55.400
<v Speaker 1>to revolve around this person and so I wanted to

0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:57.120
<v Speaker 1>really kind of talk about that and just like the

0:14:57.120 --> 0:14:59.680
<v Speaker 1>pain that comes along with it, because I think that

0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:03.440
<v Speaker 1>when you have to end it, it's hard, especially if

0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:08.800
<v Speaker 1>they represent your mother on just being family can have

0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:10.840
<v Speaker 1>You've known me for years, I can tell you everything,

0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:14.120
<v Speaker 1>but also especially when your husband has to see you

0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:17.160
<v Speaker 1>more in a relationship that was only taking away from him,

0:15:17.200 --> 0:15:20.040
<v Speaker 1>which is, you know, essentially on some level an affair

0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:23.280
<v Speaker 1>in his mind. You know, yes, yeah, exactly, It's like

0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:26.800
<v Speaker 1>watching your wife more in her ex lover, right, Like

0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:31.400
<v Speaker 1>what I have to be privy to this? Yes, why

0:15:31.400 --> 0:15:35.080
<v Speaker 1>do I shoulder you're crying on Jason's Definitely we have

0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:39.160
<v Speaker 1>a similar dynamic with our relationships. Yes, you're in charge

0:15:39.200 --> 0:15:42.320
<v Speaker 1>and I'm in charge, and they're both they both are

0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:46.000
<v Speaker 1>total men, but they both like will defer to us

0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:50.000
<v Speaker 1>on major decisions right, completely completely. That's why I feel

0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:52.560
<v Speaker 1>so good about this relationship for you, because I feel

0:15:52.600 --> 0:15:55.520
<v Speaker 1>like you're finally with adjacent type and I like that. Yeah,

0:15:55.640 --> 0:15:57.840
<v Speaker 1>like Joe doesn't put up with any of my ship either.

0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:01.720
<v Speaker 1>I came home Sunday Sunday morning from New York. We

0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:05.360
<v Speaker 1>went shopping and we've grabbed some lunch and we were

0:16:05.360 --> 0:16:08.200
<v Speaker 1>going into get a Starbucks and I said, Hey, I'm

0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:10.040
<v Speaker 1>gonna just go to this shop. We had like two

0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:11.920
<v Speaker 1>hours together before he had to go to leave for

0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:13.760
<v Speaker 1>his show. I go, hey, I'm just gonna go into

0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:16.360
<v Speaker 1>this little boutique because I didn't wanted to grab some clothes.

0:16:16.720 --> 0:16:18.120
<v Speaker 1>And I go, I'm just gonna go and hear while

0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:19.800
<v Speaker 1>you get a coffee. And he turned around and looked

0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:22.400
<v Speaker 1>at me, goes, no, you're not. We have two hours together,

0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:26.280
<v Speaker 1>get your fucking ass over here. And I just I

0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:29.680
<v Speaker 1>just started laughing because I was like, yeah, it's totally right,

0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:32.280
<v Speaker 1>Like that's a fucking dick move. But of course I'm

0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:35.080
<v Speaker 1>a dick, so I didn't even think about it. You know. No,

0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:37.160
<v Speaker 1>I have the perfect comeback for you. You've just said

0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:41.680
<v Speaker 1>him like, you're the fucking person who made me a shopper. Yeah, yeah,

0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:45.240
<v Speaker 1>I go that's I thought you'd be happy I was shopping.

0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:48.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah right. But I also like that he's just like, no,

0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:52.880
<v Speaker 1>you're not going there, don't even Yeah it's hot, yeah yeah,

0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:54.880
<v Speaker 1>But I think as a strong woman, you definitely need

0:16:54.960 --> 0:16:57.440
<v Speaker 1>somebody who can like give you that push back. My

0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:00.360
<v Speaker 1>husband I have a very similar dynamic and for a

0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:02.480
<v Speaker 1>long time I thought like, oh, am I being too bossy.

0:17:02.600 --> 0:17:04.840
<v Speaker 1>Am I like making all the decisions. And it took

0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:06.879
<v Speaker 1>like eight or nine years before I was like, he

0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:10.000
<v Speaker 1>actually married because he wants a bossy woman in his life,

0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:12.000
<v Speaker 1>Like he wants to make decisions when he wants to,

0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:15.520
<v Speaker 1>but also like he wants veto power. But if it's

0:17:15.560 --> 0:17:17.640
<v Speaker 1>like where we're going to dinner or what we're gonna

0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:20.600
<v Speaker 1>do for the weekend, he's like, just lets you pick,

0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:24.760
<v Speaker 1>Like Jason claims he wants me to have control. And

0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:27.200
<v Speaker 1>for instance, where we're doing some like redecorating the house

0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:29.200
<v Speaker 1>and he's like, I don't care, do whatever you want.

0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:30.800
<v Speaker 1>And then all of a sudden, things up here. He's like,

0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:35.919
<v Speaker 1>that'scons war work, no way, Oh that looks terrible. He's like,

0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:37.960
<v Speaker 1>we need more light here, we need It's like he

0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:41.800
<v Speaker 1>has so many fucking opinions. But then you know, the

0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:43.720
<v Speaker 1>stuff starts showing up to his house and and it

0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:49.320
<v Speaker 1>just immediately leaves. He sends it away. No. Yeah, decorating

0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:51.920
<v Speaker 1>between couples is also a big no no. That's no

0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:54.400
<v Speaker 1>fun to do. I think that's like a whole reality show.

0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:58.240
<v Speaker 1>And just te him to go away. For three months

0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:00.200
<v Speaker 1>while you sort some things out and then get back

0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:02.560
<v Speaker 1>to him. Yeah, he'll come back to the finished product.

0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:06.359
<v Speaker 1>It will be beautiful. Yeah, I love it. He's like,

0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:09.800
<v Speaker 1>you're going to give away everything because I do tend

0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:12.119
<v Speaker 1>to just like ship his things out while you're a

0:18:12.119 --> 0:18:16.119
<v Speaker 1>woman and Jason's technically a man. Okay, So we're going

0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:18.520
<v Speaker 1>to take some callers, Jenny, We're gonna have some people

0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:20.760
<v Speaker 1>right in. Some people call in and you'll see, and

0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:24.720
<v Speaker 1>we're just giving them real advice. Okay, great. Yeah, before

0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:26.959
<v Speaker 1>we get to that, we will take a quick break

0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:34.680
<v Speaker 1>and be back with Jenny Mullen and Chelsea. And we're

0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:39.320
<v Speaker 1>back with Jenny Mullen and Chelsea and Catherine hi Well.

0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:45.880
<v Speaker 1>Our first email today comes from Kristen. She says, Dear Chelsea,

0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:48.680
<v Speaker 1>I have a bit of an unusual question for you.

0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:51.680
<v Speaker 1>I've been together with my husband for four years now.

0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:55.359
<v Speaker 1>Over the years, I've noticed that he farts really often

0:18:55.600 --> 0:18:59.760
<v Speaker 1>and they're always loud, but never stinky. We became vegan

0:19:00.000 --> 0:19:01.840
<v Speaker 1>a year and a half ago, and I was a

0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:06.280
<v Speaker 1>big mistake. I was hoping that taking dairy out of

0:19:06.280 --> 0:19:08.840
<v Speaker 1>our diet would make his gas better, but it stayed

0:19:08.840 --> 0:19:11.520
<v Speaker 1>the same. It's hard to ignore his farts because they

0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:14.600
<v Speaker 1>are so loud and they're really starting to annoy me.

0:19:15.119 --> 0:19:17.240
<v Speaker 1>I've asked him to walk out of the room to fart,

0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:20.199
<v Speaker 1>but he thinks that's too much effort. What do you

0:19:20.200 --> 0:19:24.240
<v Speaker 1>think I should do? Sincerely, Kristen, Oh wow, way to

0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:28.240
<v Speaker 1>start off the episode. I Jenny knows more about dieting

0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:30.760
<v Speaker 1>and what causes farting than I do, probably because she

0:19:30.800 --> 0:19:34.000
<v Speaker 1>has all these issues and she has to eat very clean. So, Jenny,

0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:35.800
<v Speaker 1>what do you have to say about the fart? On

0:19:35.800 --> 0:19:40.120
<v Speaker 1>the subject of farting, I think I would say that

0:19:40.400 --> 0:19:42.920
<v Speaker 1>I agree maybe he should leave the room if it's

0:19:42.960 --> 0:19:45.760
<v Speaker 1>bothering you, if it's starting to become like an issue

0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:50.200
<v Speaker 1>in the relationship. But I would also ask what he's

0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:53.760
<v Speaker 1>being fed making him part all the time. I feel

0:19:53.760 --> 0:19:55.760
<v Speaker 1>like that he could do some simple changes, maybe some

0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:59.040
<v Speaker 1>food combining, which basically food combining. It's like you don't

0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:02.239
<v Speaker 1>eat your mains and your meats together. So you have

0:20:02.320 --> 0:20:05.760
<v Speaker 1>a grain and you want to do star cheat vegetables

0:20:05.760 --> 0:20:08.000
<v Speaker 1>with that, fine, so have that you have to wait

0:20:08.000 --> 0:20:09.959
<v Speaker 1>three or four hours. Then if you're going to introduce

0:20:09.960 --> 0:20:12.919
<v Speaker 1>an animal protein or have the animal protein, but you

0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:15.680
<v Speaker 1>can't choose something from every category and have it at once.

0:20:15.720 --> 0:20:19.679
<v Speaker 1>That's just creating a terrible situation for you. Also, like

0:20:19.720 --> 0:20:22.480
<v Speaker 1>if you're eating dairy, you might be lactose and tolerant

0:20:22.480 --> 0:20:24.760
<v Speaker 1>without knowing it. You might be allergic to gluten, you

0:20:24.840 --> 0:20:27.400
<v Speaker 1>might have all these food allergies. So a go get

0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:30.040
<v Speaker 1>his food allergies tested, so you could just eliminate Sometimes

0:20:30.080 --> 0:20:32.920
<v Speaker 1>it just takes eliminating one thing and you don't even

0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:35.800
<v Speaker 1>have to eliminate it forever. Sometimes you can reintroduce it

0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:38.240
<v Speaker 1>after the fact. And the other thing is, I don't

0:20:38.240 --> 0:20:40.159
<v Speaker 1>know what you want to do about him farting and

0:20:40.240 --> 0:20:43.000
<v Speaker 1>leaving the room. I mean, the whole farting thing seems

0:20:43.040 --> 0:20:45.000
<v Speaker 1>like a real bummer, So I would immediately get to

0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:47.199
<v Speaker 1>the root of the problem rather than worrying about if

0:20:47.200 --> 0:20:49.080
<v Speaker 1>he should leave the room or not. And if he's

0:20:49.080 --> 0:20:50.760
<v Speaker 1>farting while he's sleeping, what's he gonna get up in

0:20:50.800 --> 0:20:52.320
<v Speaker 1>the middle of the night and walk out? And then

0:20:52.600 --> 0:20:55.040
<v Speaker 1>I mean that doesn't make any sense either. That actually

0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:58.440
<v Speaker 1>think it's enjoying the farting because I think Jason really

0:20:58.480 --> 0:21:01.639
<v Speaker 1>Relish is a good fart. He wants to create a

0:21:01.720 --> 0:21:07.440
<v Speaker 1>scene with it. He likes the drama that comes with Yeah,

0:21:07.560 --> 0:21:11.200
<v Speaker 1>so I mean, what was her name? What was our Kristen? Yeah,

0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:13.320
<v Speaker 1>So get to the root of the matter. Otherwise you're

0:21:13.320 --> 0:21:15.000
<v Speaker 1>just putting a band aid on it and it's not

0:21:15.000 --> 0:21:17.280
<v Speaker 1>going to be gone anyway, whether he leaves the room

0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:20.240
<v Speaker 1>or not. Just find out what the problem is. Because

0:21:20.280 --> 0:21:22.080
<v Speaker 1>farting is gross. You don't want to be doing that

0:21:22.160 --> 0:21:25.160
<v Speaker 1>on the constant. It takes away from the special moments

0:21:25.280 --> 0:21:27.560
<v Speaker 1>and that Jenny's talking about with Jason, like when you

0:21:27.600 --> 0:21:29.280
<v Speaker 1>have it and he's starting in the other room r

0:21:29.359 --> 0:21:31.560
<v Speaker 1>right now. But when you have it happened once in

0:21:31.600 --> 0:21:34.280
<v Speaker 1>a while, it's more of an event than you know,

0:21:34.440 --> 0:21:37.880
<v Speaker 1>a recurrence, right, it can be a special moment. Yeah.

0:21:38.000 --> 0:21:41.240
<v Speaker 1>I think the food issue is really not where I

0:21:41.280 --> 0:21:44.960
<v Speaker 1>expected this to go. But my youngest son, we go

0:21:45.000 --> 0:21:46.960
<v Speaker 1>to restaurants. Then I had to tell him. I said,

0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:49.000
<v Speaker 1>you can't scream. I farted out loud, and so now

0:21:49.040 --> 0:21:52.600
<v Speaker 1>he goes, mommy, but I'm not gonna say, I thought,

0:21:53.800 --> 0:21:57.560
<v Speaker 1>my god, he doesn't quite understand. But yeah, there is

0:21:57.680 --> 0:22:03.480
<v Speaker 1>an announcement in my house I live within. Yes, it's

0:22:03.480 --> 0:22:07.040
<v Speaker 1>a whole entertain anything in your house. Yes, Well, Kristen,

0:22:07.320 --> 0:22:09.840
<v Speaker 1>have his allergies checked and get back to us. Let

0:22:09.960 --> 0:22:12.920
<v Speaker 1>us know how it goes for you. Yeah, or don't

0:22:12.960 --> 0:22:18.639
<v Speaker 1>get back to us right well. Our next email comes

0:22:18.680 --> 0:22:22.639
<v Speaker 1>from Jessica. She is in Australia, so she's on an

0:22:22.680 --> 0:22:26.359
<v Speaker 1>even later time zone than you are, Jenny. She says,

0:22:26.440 --> 0:22:30.359
<v Speaker 1>Dear Chelsea, years ago, when I was seventeen, I dumped

0:22:30.400 --> 0:22:33.080
<v Speaker 1>my girlfriend of a year, and then one month later

0:22:33.480 --> 0:22:37.680
<v Speaker 1>she started dating my mom, fucking lesbians. Two years later

0:22:37.760 --> 0:22:42.400
<v Speaker 1>they got married, and then shortly after divorced. Surprise, surprise

0:22:43.359 --> 0:22:47.080
<v Speaker 1>and special. Oh my god, Yeah that would that's like Meady,

0:22:47.119 --> 0:22:51.119
<v Speaker 1>I'd be writing all about that. Yes, that's the short version.

0:22:51.320 --> 0:22:53.480
<v Speaker 1>The result of this is I really struggle to open

0:22:53.560 --> 0:22:56.160
<v Speaker 1>up to people about it without talking about as a joke.

0:22:56.760 --> 0:22:59.000
<v Speaker 1>This has obviously created a lot of tension towards my

0:22:59.080 --> 0:23:01.080
<v Speaker 1>mom and has kept me from being as close to

0:23:01.119 --> 0:23:03.280
<v Speaker 1>my family as I like to be, even though we

0:23:03.320 --> 0:23:06.320
<v Speaker 1>now joke about the whole situation. I'm a writer and

0:23:06.359 --> 0:23:09.639
<v Speaker 1>a poet, and I'm in university to hopefully publish a

0:23:09.680 --> 0:23:13.200
<v Speaker 1>poetry book. I'm nervous, but no, I can be successful

0:23:13.280 --> 0:23:16.239
<v Speaker 1>if I open up. I'm currently working on writing a

0:23:16.240 --> 0:23:19.840
<v Speaker 1>one woman show. How do I share my truest realist

0:23:19.880 --> 0:23:23.200
<v Speaker 1>writing with the world without being terrified of the repercussions

0:23:23.480 --> 0:23:30.040
<v Speaker 1>and alienating my entire family? Jessica, Hi, Jessica. Hello. This

0:23:30.119 --> 0:23:34.280
<v Speaker 1>is Jenny. Jenny's our special guest today, and this is Catherine. Hello.

0:23:34.320 --> 0:23:37.400
<v Speaker 1>How are you good? How are you? I'm good? Thank

0:23:37.440 --> 0:23:41.399
<v Speaker 1>you well. Jenny has written about some very personal situations,

0:23:41.440 --> 0:23:43.760
<v Speaker 1>so I thought that she would be great to help

0:23:43.880 --> 0:23:48.440
<v Speaker 1>us with this issue. Yeah, so you are contemplating basically

0:23:48.680 --> 0:23:52.600
<v Speaker 1>telling your story, which is totally your right, right right

0:23:53.200 --> 0:23:55.600
<v Speaker 1>it is. I mean, my boyfriend's dealing with this. I've

0:23:55.640 --> 0:23:57.960
<v Speaker 1>done this, and Jenny's done this and much and in

0:23:58.080 --> 0:24:01.000
<v Speaker 1>all different sorts of ways. But I think the bottom

0:24:01.040 --> 0:24:03.240
<v Speaker 1>line is that everyone has a right to tell their

0:24:03.359 --> 0:24:06.560
<v Speaker 1>version of their story. Jenny, why don't you take it

0:24:06.760 --> 0:24:10.040
<v Speaker 1>from here? Yes? I agree. I feel like if your

0:24:10.080 --> 0:24:12.679
<v Speaker 1>mom and no offense to your mom, but if that

0:24:13.040 --> 0:24:17.640
<v Speaker 1>she felt comfortable enough to be with your ex girlfriend

0:24:17.680 --> 0:24:22.199
<v Speaker 1>and marry her, then she deserves you do. Can't think

0:24:22.200 --> 0:24:24.160
<v Speaker 1>about her work, but I think she kind of deserves

0:24:24.440 --> 0:24:26.560
<v Speaker 1>you to be open and honest with your story, and

0:24:26.560 --> 0:24:28.360
<v Speaker 1>you have a right to tell your truth and your

0:24:28.359 --> 0:24:31.000
<v Speaker 1>side of things. I mean, you know, my parents definitely

0:24:31.000 --> 0:24:33.840
<v Speaker 1>didn't love hearing all of the things I had to

0:24:33.840 --> 0:24:36.600
<v Speaker 1>say about my childhood, but on some level, because they're

0:24:36.600 --> 0:24:39.200
<v Speaker 1>both kind of narcissists, they were thrilled. My mom now

0:24:39.200 --> 0:24:41.040
<v Speaker 1>when she meets people should be like, I don't believe

0:24:41.040 --> 0:24:45.560
<v Speaker 1>everything you hear. She like loves it. She loves that.

0:24:45.920 --> 0:24:49.919
<v Speaker 1>She comes off like this crazy, fun, eccentric person that

0:24:50.240 --> 0:24:52.800
<v Speaker 1>you'd love to have a dinner party. And it's never

0:24:52.840 --> 0:24:54.760
<v Speaker 1>as bad as you think. I feel like, when you're

0:24:54.760 --> 0:24:57.560
<v Speaker 1>writing the book, you always think, oh, fuck, these people

0:24:57.600 --> 0:25:01.240
<v Speaker 1>are going to kill me. Everybody's gonna hate me. I'm

0:25:01.240 --> 0:25:04.159
<v Speaker 1>gonna alienate this person and this person. But once it's

0:25:04.200 --> 0:25:07.119
<v Speaker 1>in the world, it's funny. It doesn't ever have the

0:25:07.200 --> 0:25:09.320
<v Speaker 1>impact you really think and you and I think you

0:25:09.320 --> 0:25:11.800
<v Speaker 1>should just kind of embrace it as being your truth.

0:25:11.800 --> 0:25:14.359
<v Speaker 1>As long as you're self deprecating and really get into

0:25:14.920 --> 0:25:17.199
<v Speaker 1>your feelings on the subject, you have every right too.

0:25:17.240 --> 0:25:19.639
<v Speaker 1>And I think that your family should be proud of

0:25:19.640 --> 0:25:22.840
<v Speaker 1>you for taking that jump and risk. Well, thank you.

0:25:23.240 --> 0:25:26.959
<v Speaker 1>My mom is like classically a narcissist, so she'll love it.

0:25:27.200 --> 0:25:30.879
<v Speaker 1>She'll be trust me. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like

0:25:31.160 --> 0:25:33.240
<v Speaker 1>she doesn't really pay attention to anything I do unless

0:25:33.280 --> 0:25:36.119
<v Speaker 1>she can brag about it, so she'll love it. You

0:25:36.119 --> 0:25:39.280
<v Speaker 1>have a book. Any closer than that, she's going to

0:25:39.359 --> 0:25:42.120
<v Speaker 1>be psyched. My daughter has a book, that's it. Okay,

0:25:42.600 --> 0:25:44.800
<v Speaker 1>Well that makes me feel a little bit better. Yeah,

0:25:44.840 --> 0:25:47.280
<v Speaker 1>But on a more, on a more, this really has

0:25:47.280 --> 0:25:49.040
<v Speaker 1>nothing to do with anything I'm about to say. But

0:25:49.080 --> 0:25:52.320
<v Speaker 1>on a more personal how just out of curiosity, how

0:25:52.359 --> 0:25:55.239
<v Speaker 1>long were you dating this woman? When you dated her, so,

0:25:55.280 --> 0:25:58.480
<v Speaker 1>I was like sixteen to seventeen, and she was about

0:25:58.480 --> 0:26:03.040
<v Speaker 1>seven years older than me looking back, is obviously gross. Yeah,

0:26:03.400 --> 0:26:05.280
<v Speaker 1>and then my mom was eleven years older than her,

0:26:05.480 --> 0:26:09.639
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, it's gross. It's all gross. It's so gross.

0:26:09.720 --> 0:26:11.679
<v Speaker 1>Are you do you hang out with them? You know

0:26:11.760 --> 0:26:16.239
<v Speaker 1>they're divorced now surprised. Oh yeah, that's a good thing

0:26:16.320 --> 0:26:20.520
<v Speaker 1>to mention. Yeah, for any other mothers out there who

0:26:20.600 --> 0:26:23.480
<v Speaker 1>are listening to this thinking about hitting on their daughter's

0:26:23.560 --> 0:26:28.760
<v Speaker 1>ex girlfriends, please do not. People are so fucked up.

0:26:29.440 --> 0:26:33.320
<v Speaker 1>It's so fucked up. So yeah, that's kind of they've

0:26:33.320 --> 0:26:35.760
<v Speaker 1>broken up, and we were really close for a little while,

0:26:35.760 --> 0:26:38.360
<v Speaker 1>but then I stopped giving her what she needed, which

0:26:38.480 --> 0:26:41.359
<v Speaker 1>was some healing from her divorce. But I never got

0:26:41.400 --> 0:26:45.280
<v Speaker 1>that back from her for what happened with everything. Has

0:26:45.320 --> 0:26:50.080
<v Speaker 1>she never apologized or said she regretted it. No, not one.

0:26:50.640 --> 0:26:53.080
<v Speaker 1>They're still friends, I think. And when they were together,

0:26:53.200 --> 0:26:56.000
<v Speaker 1>you did you spend time with them? Yeah, we did.

0:26:56.400 --> 0:26:58.800
<v Speaker 1>Because my sister had a baby yesterday, so I have

0:26:58.880 --> 0:27:01.760
<v Speaker 1>to go and see my mom to are Oh, i'd

0:27:01.760 --> 0:27:05.919
<v Speaker 1>take congratulations, but I guess yeah, But that's kind of

0:27:05.920 --> 0:27:08.160
<v Speaker 1>the main reason I paper relationship with her is obviously

0:27:08.200 --> 0:27:10.760
<v Speaker 1>for my siblings and my nieces and nephews. So well,

0:27:10.760 --> 0:27:14.560
<v Speaker 1>that's big of you. Yeah, yeah, I think you have

0:27:14.640 --> 0:27:16.480
<v Speaker 1>to get into the relationship with your mom. I mean

0:27:16.480 --> 0:27:18.960
<v Speaker 1>that seems like a bigger story than even just this woman.

0:27:19.040 --> 0:27:21.199
<v Speaker 1>I think that you could fill a whole book just

0:27:21.240 --> 0:27:25.280
<v Speaker 1>with stories, probably with her, And I think that you're

0:27:25.280 --> 0:27:27.080
<v Speaker 1>going to help a lot of people. I think that

0:27:27.200 --> 0:27:30.679
<v Speaker 1>when people you know, that is such a common dynamic,

0:27:30.800 --> 0:27:34.199
<v Speaker 1>not necessarily stealing somebody's person and marrying them, although I

0:27:34.240 --> 0:27:36.040
<v Speaker 1>do know somebody has a baby with one of their

0:27:36.119 --> 0:27:39.520
<v Speaker 1>kids ex boyfriends girlfriends. But I think that I think

0:27:39.600 --> 0:27:41.240
<v Speaker 1>it's a story that needs to be told, and I

0:27:41.280 --> 0:27:43.320
<v Speaker 1>think it will feel really cathartic for you to just

0:27:43.400 --> 0:27:46.000
<v Speaker 1>get it on paper. Yeah, that's what I'm hoping. I

0:27:46.000 --> 0:27:48.080
<v Speaker 1>just want to like get She's never going to give

0:27:48.119 --> 0:27:49.680
<v Speaker 1>you what you want. I hate to tell you this,

0:27:50.160 --> 0:27:55.160
<v Speaker 1>like I'm still waiting for my parents approval. You have

0:27:55.200 --> 0:27:58.880
<v Speaker 1>to write it. Okay. That makes me feel a lot better.

0:27:59.040 --> 0:28:02.000
<v Speaker 1>Thank you and waited for you. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm

0:28:02.040 --> 0:28:04.639
<v Speaker 1>just like, I'm just scared. But my my siblings know

0:28:04.680 --> 0:28:07.879
<v Speaker 1>what she's like, and like everyone kind of knows, like

0:28:07.920 --> 0:28:10.880
<v Speaker 1>everyone knows what the situation is, but everyone's just really

0:28:11.000 --> 0:28:14.600
<v Speaker 1>nice to each other. So no, it will set you free.

0:28:14.680 --> 0:28:17.240
<v Speaker 1>I think you have to do it, Okay, I hope.

0:28:17.280 --> 0:28:19.680
<v Speaker 1>So thank you. Did you say you wanted to put

0:28:19.720 --> 0:28:22.040
<v Speaker 1>this up as a one woman show too, or as

0:28:22.119 --> 0:28:24.200
<v Speaker 1>a Yeah, I'm hoping to make it a pretty show.

0:28:25.480 --> 0:28:27.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah that's a good idea too. Yeah. I think it'll

0:28:27.760 --> 0:28:30.920
<v Speaker 1>be great for you. And everyone's telling their story. That's

0:28:30.920 --> 0:28:33.919
<v Speaker 1>what everyone's doing as an artist. So it's your story.

0:28:33.960 --> 0:28:37.320
<v Speaker 1>You have every right to it. It happened to you.

0:28:37.320 --> 0:28:40.160
<v Speaker 1>You were like essential character in the story. So yeah,

0:28:40.600 --> 0:28:43.040
<v Speaker 1>it's gonna be awesome for you to do that and

0:28:43.120 --> 0:28:45.880
<v Speaker 1>experience it and all your siblings are probably gonna just

0:28:45.960 --> 0:28:48.840
<v Speaker 1>love seeing it put up like that, you know, like, oh,

0:28:48.960 --> 0:28:52.680
<v Speaker 1>we finally, this is what we all experienced and someone

0:28:52.720 --> 0:28:55.400
<v Speaker 1>has the guts to do it and say it. Oh

0:28:55.440 --> 0:28:57.520
<v Speaker 1>my god, thank you so much. I feel so validated.

0:28:58.320 --> 0:29:00.440
<v Speaker 1>Well great, well, good luck. Let us know what happens.

0:29:00.520 --> 0:29:04.520
<v Speaker 1>Keep us posted. I will do. Thank you so much, sealthy. Yeah,

0:29:04.520 --> 0:29:10.840
<v Speaker 1>thank you here, Jessica, whoopsie doodle, that is a fucked

0:29:10.920 --> 0:29:13.160
<v Speaker 1>up situation. I mean, I suppose you would have to

0:29:13.160 --> 0:29:17.280
<v Speaker 1>be a narcissist to funk your daughter's girlfriend. And also

0:29:17.680 --> 0:29:23.040
<v Speaker 1>that relationship was illegal. I'm like, yeah, what's the age

0:29:23.040 --> 0:29:27.840
<v Speaker 1>of consent? I also had an illegal relationship when I

0:29:27.880 --> 0:29:30.320
<v Speaker 1>was younger, underage, But at the time, you know, I

0:29:30.360 --> 0:29:32.480
<v Speaker 1>thought at the time, you just think like, oh, this

0:29:32.560 --> 0:29:35.520
<v Speaker 1>older guy, like they're interested in me, and then later

0:29:35.560 --> 0:29:38.080
<v Speaker 1>you're like, wow, that was so gross. But even me,

0:29:38.640 --> 0:29:40.720
<v Speaker 1>just what's wrong with that guy? You're like, you can

0:29:40.840 --> 0:29:44.680
<v Speaker 1>only impress somebody with seventeen a little looser. I know,

0:29:45.080 --> 0:29:47.720
<v Speaker 1>nobody's only even give him the time of day. I'm

0:29:47.800 --> 0:29:51.160
<v Speaker 1>sure that's why. No. I definitely would feel responsible for

0:29:51.280 --> 0:29:53.800
<v Speaker 1>my relationship with an older man because I definitely I

0:29:53.880 --> 0:29:56.160
<v Speaker 1>know that no man has any right to be around

0:29:56.160 --> 0:29:58.680
<v Speaker 1>a girl that's under eighteen years old. Now, at that time,

0:29:59.160 --> 0:30:02.720
<v Speaker 1>I believe I said used him. I convinced him. I

0:30:02.800 --> 0:30:05.880
<v Speaker 1>convinced him to be with me. I convinced him even

0:30:05.920 --> 0:30:08.360
<v Speaker 1>though he had reservations about my age. I was like, no, no,

0:30:08.400 --> 0:30:12.280
<v Speaker 1>you don't understand, like I made this guy have a

0:30:12.320 --> 0:30:15.720
<v Speaker 1>relationship with me and he had no chance to not help.

0:30:16.880 --> 0:30:20.000
<v Speaker 1>So I don't want to lay the blame where it's undo.

0:30:20.160 --> 0:30:22.720
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, now we know that men aren't even allowed

0:30:22.760 --> 0:30:25.640
<v Speaker 1>to think about that. And then when you think about it,

0:30:25.680 --> 0:30:27.800
<v Speaker 1>you're like, yeah, what are you thinking? It doesn't matter

0:30:27.840 --> 0:30:31.400
<v Speaker 1>how mature or cool you are. But on the subject though,

0:30:31.400 --> 0:30:34.000
<v Speaker 1>because this comes up a lot talking about our stories

0:30:34.040 --> 0:30:37.200
<v Speaker 1>and how you shroud certain people, because it's like you

0:30:37.280 --> 0:30:40.080
<v Speaker 1>have your right to your own family. I mean they

0:30:40.120 --> 0:30:44.200
<v Speaker 1>can sue you potentially if you disclose their information without

0:30:44.240 --> 0:30:48.280
<v Speaker 1>them signing something and using their real names. Yes, they

0:30:48.280 --> 0:30:52.200
<v Speaker 1>can sue you. Because the my second book, I started

0:30:52.200 --> 0:30:55.000
<v Speaker 1>off saying, you know, all the people's names have been changed,

0:30:55.080 --> 0:30:57.520
<v Speaker 1>characters blah blah blah, except my mom. Her name's Peggy.

0:30:59.200 --> 0:31:00.840
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what the English I didn't want to

0:31:00.840 --> 0:31:03.680
<v Speaker 1>sue you. Well, no, your mom's not gonna sue you, though,

0:31:03.800 --> 0:31:06.040
<v Speaker 1>Like I mean, are you probably had her sign something

0:31:06.480 --> 0:31:10.000
<v Speaker 1>You're I'm sure you did. Maybe you should send her

0:31:10.000 --> 0:31:11.240
<v Speaker 1>a text right now, be like I need you to

0:31:11.280 --> 0:31:13.920
<v Speaker 1>sign this. Send her what's that thing I released? You know,

0:31:14.120 --> 0:31:16.640
<v Speaker 1>what's one of those forms that you that you can

0:31:16.720 --> 0:31:20.440
<v Speaker 1>sign digitally? Now that the docus I gotta fucking doctors

0:31:20.480 --> 0:31:24.520
<v Speaker 1>sign it, just go quickly, or a video recording saying

0:31:24.560 --> 0:31:26.520
<v Speaker 1>I give you the right and the right and allowance

0:31:26.520 --> 0:31:28.600
<v Speaker 1>to use my name and likeness in your book and

0:31:28.640 --> 0:31:32.400
<v Speaker 1>just put it on. Yeah, that's funny because in my

0:31:32.480 --> 0:31:35.240
<v Speaker 1>first books, like I gave my brothers and sisters different names,

0:31:35.400 --> 0:31:38.280
<v Speaker 1>and then it was like why was I doing that?

0:31:38.320 --> 0:31:40.520
<v Speaker 1>Because it's so easy to find out what their names are.

0:31:40.520 --> 0:31:43.000
<v Speaker 1>So for like the second book on I just started

0:31:43.080 --> 0:31:46.360
<v Speaker 1>using their real names. And no, I love that about

0:31:46.400 --> 0:31:49.320
<v Speaker 1>your books, saying the names literally just change. And she's like, oh,

0:31:49.360 --> 0:31:51.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm too lazy. I'm like, let me just tell you

0:31:51.720 --> 0:31:53.640
<v Speaker 1>their real names. It's not like it's a secret. It's

0:31:53.640 --> 0:31:55.600
<v Speaker 1>so easy to look up and half the time I'm

0:31:55.640 --> 0:31:59.920
<v Speaker 1>doing things with them. So ye, but I do know

0:32:00.120 --> 0:32:02.080
<v Speaker 1>when you're talking about someone, or you're telling a real

0:32:02.160 --> 0:32:04.960
<v Speaker 1>story about someone, especially if they're of note, you have

0:32:05.080 --> 0:32:08.280
<v Speaker 1>to change their name, likeness, occupation, all of the things

0:32:08.320 --> 0:32:12.520
<v Speaker 1>that could connect a stranger to who they are. Yes, yes, yes,

0:32:12.800 --> 0:32:19.160
<v Speaker 1>which is totally reasonable. Reasonable. We are going to take

0:32:19.160 --> 0:32:21.280
<v Speaker 1>a quick break so you can hear and add and

0:32:21.320 --> 0:32:30.160
<v Speaker 1>then we'll be right back. Our next question comes from Liza.

0:32:30.720 --> 0:32:33.800
<v Speaker 1>She's thirty eight living in New York and she's a photographer.

0:32:34.680 --> 0:32:37.520
<v Speaker 1>Dear Chelsea, I spent most of my mid twenties to

0:32:37.600 --> 0:32:40.720
<v Speaker 1>mid thirties building a photography career that I became very

0:32:40.760 --> 0:32:43.160
<v Speaker 1>proud of. I was in l A for ten years,

0:32:43.200 --> 0:32:45.000
<v Speaker 1>where I met my husband, and by the end of

0:32:45.000 --> 0:32:47.560
<v Speaker 1>my time there, I was shooting for clients like Betsy

0:32:47.640 --> 0:32:50.880
<v Speaker 1>Johnson and l Magazine. Given that I was always the

0:32:50.960 --> 0:32:53.800
<v Speaker 1>kid with no direction growing up, I was beyond proud

0:32:53.840 --> 0:32:57.000
<v Speaker 1>of myself. We left l A and twenty nineteen for

0:32:57.080 --> 0:32:59.560
<v Speaker 1>New York because my husband got a job, and while

0:32:59.600 --> 0:33:01.880
<v Speaker 1>it seems like the transition would be an easy one

0:33:02.040 --> 0:33:05.040
<v Speaker 1>from one big city to the next, my photography career

0:33:05.200 --> 0:33:08.680
<v Speaker 1>plummeted once COVID hit. We landed in the Hudson Valley,

0:33:08.800 --> 0:33:11.000
<v Speaker 1>a place I love, but also a place where I

0:33:11.000 --> 0:33:14.160
<v Speaker 1>feel more lost than ever. The career I had in

0:33:14.320 --> 0:33:17.160
<v Speaker 1>l A is realistically not feasible where I am, unless

0:33:17.160 --> 0:33:19.320
<v Speaker 1>I want to spend lots of time traveling, which no

0:33:19.360 --> 0:33:22.720
<v Speaker 1>longer sounds ideal. So my question for you is what

0:33:22.800 --> 0:33:25.320
<v Speaker 1>advice do you have for someone who found their passion

0:33:25.440 --> 0:33:28.040
<v Speaker 1>and once thrived in their life, but now lives a

0:33:28.040 --> 0:33:31.040
<v Speaker 1>completely different lifestyle without a clue as to where to

0:33:31.120 --> 0:33:34.120
<v Speaker 1>pivot next. I'm okay with a career shift, but I

0:33:34.160 --> 0:33:36.240
<v Speaker 1>don't know where to begin or what I'd even do,

0:33:36.520 --> 0:33:39.240
<v Speaker 1>and I definitely don't have the hustle energy I had

0:33:39.280 --> 0:33:45.240
<v Speaker 1>in my twenties. Any advice would be so helpful. Lisa, Hi, Liza, Hi, Hi,

0:33:45.640 --> 0:33:49.320
<v Speaker 1>how are you? This is Jenny, our guest today, and

0:33:49.360 --> 0:33:52.960
<v Speaker 1>this is Catherine, who you've met. I'm assuming Hi. Hello.

0:33:53.160 --> 0:33:56.560
<v Speaker 1>So you're in the Hudson Valley, yes, And there's no

0:33:56.640 --> 0:34:00.520
<v Speaker 1>opportunity there for you to apply your photography there to

0:34:00.680 --> 0:34:04.800
<v Speaker 1>do anything with it. I mean, it's not like I'm

0:34:04.800 --> 0:34:08.520
<v Speaker 1>sure they do shoots up here for all sorts of things.

0:34:08.560 --> 0:34:10.400
<v Speaker 1>I just don't have the connections that I have in

0:34:10.520 --> 0:34:13.200
<v Speaker 1>l A. And I'm I'm just just still kind of

0:34:13.239 --> 0:34:15.520
<v Speaker 1>stuck because I'm up here, like my husband's working and

0:34:15.520 --> 0:34:17.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm just sort of sitting here at a computer every day,

0:34:18.760 --> 0:34:20.759
<v Speaker 1>And what were you shooting? What kind of photography were

0:34:20.760 --> 0:34:24.080
<v Speaker 1>you doing? So I was working a lot with modeling agencies,

0:34:24.200 --> 0:34:30.319
<v Speaker 1>doing advertising, editorial look books for fashion brands. Yeah, I

0:34:30.360 --> 0:34:33.000
<v Speaker 1>mean I feel like you can still do all of

0:34:33.040 --> 0:34:35.160
<v Speaker 1>that there. I mean you're not that far from New

0:34:35.239 --> 0:34:38.080
<v Speaker 1>York City. I mean that's not an unreasonable commute. It's

0:34:38.120 --> 0:34:40.880
<v Speaker 1>not like flying to Los Angeles. You just have to

0:34:40.920 --> 0:34:43.680
<v Speaker 1>do networking on that end. I mean, they are doing

0:34:43.680 --> 0:34:46.520
<v Speaker 1>shoots in Hudson Valley all the time. Although I mean

0:34:46.719 --> 0:34:49.560
<v Speaker 1>you see that in Magazine's Town and Country. You see

0:34:49.560 --> 0:34:52.480
<v Speaker 1>it with people's homes up there. Architectural Digest does stuff

0:34:52.520 --> 0:34:55.120
<v Speaker 1>up there. I mean there's room for you to maneuver

0:34:55.840 --> 0:34:59.960
<v Speaker 1>and like figure out some kind of line of communication

0:35:00.320 --> 0:35:02.920
<v Speaker 1>for opportunities that are coming up there to shoot, and

0:35:03.000 --> 0:35:05.040
<v Speaker 1>also take advantage of the fact that you're so close

0:35:05.080 --> 0:35:06.400
<v Speaker 1>to New York City. I don't think you have to

0:35:06.480 --> 0:35:09.200
<v Speaker 1>change careers. Yeah, I mean it was tough when I

0:35:09.280 --> 0:35:11.880
<v Speaker 1>moved because I like so my work in l A

0:35:12.080 --> 0:35:14.520
<v Speaker 1>was so it's sort of carved down a niche for

0:35:14.600 --> 0:35:17.200
<v Speaker 1>myself where everything was like blue skies and palm trees,

0:35:17.239 --> 0:35:19.960
<v Speaker 1>and that's what I shot, like, I shot outdoor sunshine.

0:35:20.040 --> 0:35:23.319
<v Speaker 1>I wasn't like a studio photographer. So when I came

0:35:23.360 --> 0:35:25.120
<v Speaker 1>to New York, I think I was just sort of

0:35:25.239 --> 0:35:29.840
<v Speaker 1>blissfully naive, thinking that things would carry over. And we

0:35:29.960 --> 0:35:32.680
<v Speaker 1>moved in the dead of winter, and I was like, oh, ship, Like,

0:35:32.760 --> 0:35:35.440
<v Speaker 1>I can't do what I did in l A in

0:35:35.480 --> 0:35:38.120
<v Speaker 1>New York. And I mean, like, you're completely right about

0:35:38.120 --> 0:35:40.080
<v Speaker 1>the networking thing. I'm just really bad at that. And

0:35:40.080 --> 0:35:41.920
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I spent thirteen years doing it in

0:35:42.040 --> 0:35:43.600
<v Speaker 1>l A that I'm just tied, like I had all

0:35:43.640 --> 0:35:46.440
<v Speaker 1>my connections there. Yeah, but I think you need to

0:35:46.480 --> 0:35:48.960
<v Speaker 1>just get good at it. These are all excuses. You

0:35:49.000 --> 0:35:50.840
<v Speaker 1>can do all of these things. You just don't feel

0:35:50.840 --> 0:35:53.400
<v Speaker 1>like doing it. And just because Hudson Valley looks the

0:35:53.400 --> 0:35:55.040
<v Speaker 1>way it does in the winter, doesn't look like that

0:35:55.120 --> 0:35:57.080
<v Speaker 1>in the summer or the spring or the fall. It's

0:35:57.120 --> 0:35:59.520
<v Speaker 1>like a complete opposite of what you were shooting in

0:35:59.640 --> 0:36:03.120
<v Speaker 1>l A. It's rustic, it's woods, it's greenery, it's more beautiful,

0:36:03.600 --> 0:36:07.520
<v Speaker 1>I would argue, So you can create all of these opportunities.

0:36:07.840 --> 0:36:10.200
<v Speaker 1>I understand what you mean about not having the ambition

0:36:10.239 --> 0:36:12.320
<v Speaker 1>you did when you were twenties. I can completely relate

0:36:12.360 --> 0:36:14.880
<v Speaker 1>to that. But there's times to hustle, and this is

0:36:14.920 --> 0:36:18.400
<v Speaker 1>one of them, and so thinking about changing career seems

0:36:18.640 --> 0:36:22.839
<v Speaker 1>like a lot bigger burden than just hustling for like

0:36:22.880 --> 0:36:25.319
<v Speaker 1>a good six months and making the connections you need

0:36:25.360 --> 0:36:27.960
<v Speaker 1>to make to sustain a career that can then last

0:36:28.040 --> 0:36:31.920
<v Speaker 1>twenty plus years. Right now, that's a very point. Do

0:36:31.920 --> 0:36:34.120
<v Speaker 1>you still have the passion for photography that you did?

0:36:34.600 --> 0:36:36.600
<v Speaker 1>I do, but I like there is a part of

0:36:36.640 --> 0:36:39.200
<v Speaker 1>me that wonders if the hustle isn't in me, then

0:36:39.280 --> 0:36:41.840
<v Speaker 1>maybe that says it all. And that's what sort of

0:36:41.840 --> 0:36:43.840
<v Speaker 1>scares me too, because I'm like, well, maybe I'm ready

0:36:43.880 --> 0:36:45.719
<v Speaker 1>for a shift, but I have no idea what that

0:36:45.719 --> 0:36:49.200
<v Speaker 1>shift would be because I've basically gotten good at something

0:36:49.280 --> 0:36:51.279
<v Speaker 1>for ten years, and before that I was in the

0:36:51.320 --> 0:36:56.040
<v Speaker 1>service industry, and the skills that I have are very specific. Jenny,

0:36:56.080 --> 0:36:58.719
<v Speaker 1>what do you think? Well, I think that there are

0:36:58.719 --> 0:37:02.040
<v Speaker 1>either twos. One if you think that it might not

0:37:02.080 --> 0:37:03.520
<v Speaker 1>be what's right for you and maybe this is what

0:37:03.520 --> 0:37:05.799
<v Speaker 1>you should do regardless. Is I think that you need

0:37:05.800 --> 0:37:08.520
<v Speaker 1>to take the time and not guilt yourself about needing

0:37:08.520 --> 0:37:11.319
<v Speaker 1>to throw yourself into a career. Again, I think I'm

0:37:11.400 --> 0:37:14.560
<v Speaker 1>very competitive with my husband, so like I understand when

0:37:14.840 --> 0:37:16.880
<v Speaker 1>your husband's working, you're like, I'm sitting here at home,

0:37:16.920 --> 0:37:19.719
<v Speaker 1>I'm not doing anything, and you start to spin and

0:37:19.719 --> 0:37:21.879
<v Speaker 1>then you start to shame yourself and you just get

0:37:21.920 --> 0:37:25.319
<v Speaker 1>into this like negative headspace. I think you need to

0:37:25.400 --> 0:37:27.800
<v Speaker 1>rewrite that narrative for yourself and say, I'm giving myself

0:37:27.800 --> 0:37:29.680
<v Speaker 1>time because I don't want to jump into a career

0:37:30.080 --> 0:37:32.440
<v Speaker 1>if I'm already burnt out on it. Like, what is

0:37:32.480 --> 0:37:34.840
<v Speaker 1>the point of even starting something up if I'm not

0:37:34.840 --> 0:37:36.880
<v Speaker 1>going to find joy from it. So I think you

0:37:36.920 --> 0:37:40.160
<v Speaker 1>need to say, allow yourself the time to really sit

0:37:40.200 --> 0:37:42.839
<v Speaker 1>there and decide is this what I want to do next,

0:37:42.840 --> 0:37:45.600
<v Speaker 1>and explore some other options before you make a move

0:37:45.640 --> 0:37:48.719
<v Speaker 1>in any direction. And if it is self photography, I

0:37:48.760 --> 0:37:51.440
<v Speaker 1>think your best bet. And this is like antithetical to

0:37:51.600 --> 0:37:53.560
<v Speaker 1>what my book is about, but I think you need

0:37:53.600 --> 0:37:56.040
<v Speaker 1>to get online. I think you need to start shooting

0:37:56.040 --> 0:37:59.560
<v Speaker 1>outside and I think you need to start posting on

0:37:59.760 --> 0:38:03.720
<v Speaker 1>to talk and Instagram and show people what you can do.

0:38:04.239 --> 0:38:07.240
<v Speaker 1>I think that is so so I hate networking in person.

0:38:07.640 --> 0:38:10.560
<v Speaker 1>I much prefer just like you know, posting something and

0:38:10.600 --> 0:38:13.160
<v Speaker 1>waiting to see who sees it. It's so much easier

0:38:13.160 --> 0:38:16.640
<v Speaker 1>than going out and having a billion drinks with somebody

0:38:17.000 --> 0:38:19.080
<v Speaker 1>or a billion different people and trying to just like

0:38:19.160 --> 0:38:22.040
<v Speaker 1>get in and and social climate or whatever you have

0:38:22.080 --> 0:38:25.200
<v Speaker 1>to do. All that bullshit drives me crazy. So I

0:38:25.280 --> 0:38:27.360
<v Speaker 1>let your work speak for itself if that is what

0:38:27.440 --> 0:38:29.680
<v Speaker 1>you want to do, but first give yourself the time

0:38:29.800 --> 0:38:32.640
<v Speaker 1>to really marinate and think about what is the next

0:38:32.680 --> 0:38:34.440
<v Speaker 1>step for me? What what do the next ten years

0:38:34.480 --> 0:38:38.160
<v Speaker 1>of my life look like? Yeah, you're allowed that you've hustled,

0:38:38.200 --> 0:38:40.239
<v Speaker 1>you worked your ass off. Yeah, And I think that's

0:38:40.239 --> 0:38:42.839
<v Speaker 1>a good point that networking post covid looks a little

0:38:42.840 --> 0:38:45.040
<v Speaker 1>bit different than it did pretty covid, where it's just

0:38:45.040 --> 0:38:46.880
<v Speaker 1>like go to parties, go to parties, put in FaceTime

0:38:46.880 --> 0:38:49.759
<v Speaker 1>all this garbage, and like now it's very different. It's

0:38:50.040 --> 0:38:53.239
<v Speaker 1>it's online and agree Instagram and TikTok. I feel like

0:38:53.320 --> 0:38:56.520
<v Speaker 1>Instagram sort of punishes new creators, but go on TikTok

0:38:56.880 --> 0:38:59.080
<v Speaker 1>obviously for photography it's a little bit different, but people

0:38:59.080 --> 0:39:01.480
<v Speaker 1>will come to you. Basically, you can shoot there like

0:39:01.520 --> 0:39:04.960
<v Speaker 1>all over you. Yeah, especially all these like fashion influencers.

0:39:04.960 --> 0:39:07.640
<v Speaker 1>They're like, would you like some more experience for your book?

0:39:07.840 --> 0:39:10.360
<v Speaker 1>And maybe you're thinking not really, bench why don't you

0:39:10.360 --> 0:39:12.799
<v Speaker 1>pay me? But you know, maybe you do want to

0:39:12.800 --> 0:39:15.239
<v Speaker 1>just have that person make an appearance and repost you

0:39:15.640 --> 0:39:18.640
<v Speaker 1>sometimes that you know it gets more work. And also

0:39:18.840 --> 0:39:21.440
<v Speaker 1>in terms of networking, it's like just also reaching out

0:39:21.480 --> 0:39:24.320
<v Speaker 1>with the to the context that you do have from

0:39:24.360 --> 0:39:27.120
<v Speaker 1>all of your experience thus far, whether it's in l

0:39:27.160 --> 0:39:29.600
<v Speaker 1>A or not. People are always working in New York

0:39:29.640 --> 0:39:32.239
<v Speaker 1>and London, in l A, in Paris, so like just

0:39:32.320 --> 0:39:34.880
<v Speaker 1>reminding people, oh, hey, I moved to Hudson Valley. If

0:39:34.880 --> 0:39:38.840
<v Speaker 1>anything comes across you, just keep those conversations going because

0:39:38.840 --> 0:39:40.520
<v Speaker 1>you never know what's going to drop into your lap

0:39:40.560 --> 0:39:44.320
<v Speaker 1>that way, and just by applying any sort of hustle

0:39:44.400 --> 0:39:46.680
<v Speaker 1>to any situation, you're going to find out what you're

0:39:46.680 --> 0:39:50.360
<v Speaker 1>gonna want to do if it isn't photography. Yeah, yeah,

0:39:51.040 --> 0:39:53.960
<v Speaker 1>I think that's a very good point. Anything creative that

0:39:54.000 --> 0:39:57.600
<v Speaker 1>you can do, even if it feels sort of disjointed

0:39:57.640 --> 0:39:59.279
<v Speaker 1>from what you've done in the past, is going to

0:39:59.320 --> 0:40:01.719
<v Speaker 1>get those creat of juice is flowing. I mean That's

0:40:01.920 --> 0:40:04.799
<v Speaker 1>really why I landed in podcasting, because I was like

0:40:05.160 --> 0:40:07.560
<v Speaker 1>dipping my toe in this water. I was writing, I

0:40:07.600 --> 0:40:09.680
<v Speaker 1>was doing voice over, I was doing all these different

0:40:09.719 --> 0:40:12.960
<v Speaker 1>random things, and then I started my first podcast, and

0:40:13.040 --> 0:40:15.520
<v Speaker 1>that's sort of like the it's snowballed and I found

0:40:15.520 --> 0:40:19.440
<v Speaker 1>myself being so creatively fulfilled by it that, you know,

0:40:19.560 --> 0:40:20.759
<v Speaker 1>some of the other things that I had been really

0:40:20.800 --> 0:40:24.239
<v Speaker 1>passionate about before fell away, but I was able to

0:40:24.320 --> 0:40:28.560
<v Speaker 1>use the skills I learned doing them in podcasting. Right,

0:40:29.120 --> 0:40:31.840
<v Speaker 1>that's a really good point. Yeah, it finds you. I

0:40:31.880 --> 0:40:35.600
<v Speaker 1>think if you put that energy out there, it finds you. Yeah.

0:40:35.719 --> 0:40:39.160
<v Speaker 1>And I've connected with actually people downstairs that we're doing

0:40:39.160 --> 0:40:42.400
<v Speaker 1>a creative shoot today. Amazing actually have a job right

0:40:42.400 --> 0:40:45.200
<v Speaker 1>now because I'm not actually working as a photographer right now.

0:40:45.320 --> 0:40:49.400
<v Speaker 1>So I don't even know what this call is about. No,

0:40:49.760 --> 0:40:52.200
<v Speaker 1>it's just it's a creative shoot, but like just to meet,

0:40:52.320 --> 0:40:56.000
<v Speaker 1>Like I've connected with them randomly online, their makeup artists here,

0:40:56.040 --> 0:40:58.600
<v Speaker 1>and they seem amazing. The model came up from New York,

0:40:58.800 --> 0:41:01.560
<v Speaker 1>so shall see. Thank you, because I mean thank you

0:41:01.760 --> 0:41:03.399
<v Speaker 1>to all of you. But like I do feel like

0:41:03.800 --> 0:41:06.960
<v Speaker 1>sometimes it's it's difficult when you're just like sitting by yourself,

0:41:07.080 --> 0:41:10.160
<v Speaker 1>and like you said, you get in your head. Yeah,

0:41:10.320 --> 0:41:12.319
<v Speaker 1>I've been where I'm just like sitting and like I

0:41:12.360 --> 0:41:13.840
<v Speaker 1>want to create and I want to do stuff and

0:41:13.840 --> 0:41:16.200
<v Speaker 1>I really want to work. I just don't, you know,

0:41:16.239 --> 0:41:17.839
<v Speaker 1>I just don't know what to do. It's like there's

0:41:17.840 --> 0:41:20.480
<v Speaker 1>so many options that I just don't Yeah, but you

0:41:20.560 --> 0:41:22.680
<v Speaker 1>do know, Just start with the first thing, you know,

0:41:22.840 --> 0:41:26.239
<v Speaker 1>start with the Instagram, the TikTok. If that seems too big,

0:41:26.280 --> 0:41:28.120
<v Speaker 1>send a couple of emails to people you've worked with

0:41:28.239 --> 0:41:31.839
<v Speaker 1>to just say where you're moving and be proactive, don't

0:41:31.920 --> 0:41:35.600
<v Speaker 1>be defeatist. That energy turns into negativity and then you're

0:41:35.600 --> 0:41:37.600
<v Speaker 1>just sitting there for having a pitty party for yourself,

0:41:37.760 --> 0:41:40.719
<v Speaker 1>which is how you entered this call. So get your

0:41:40.719 --> 0:41:43.879
<v Speaker 1>ship together and go get us a good update and

0:41:43.920 --> 0:41:47.000
<v Speaker 1>follow back up with us and give us some good news. Please.

0:41:47.960 --> 0:41:50.680
<v Speaker 1>I needed that. Thank you, Okay, see you later, Thanks

0:41:50.680 --> 0:41:56.239
<v Speaker 1>for calling. Sky. I had a mentor who told you

0:41:56.280 --> 0:41:59.680
<v Speaker 1>to go get your ship together. Basically she was like,

0:41:59.719 --> 0:42:05.440
<v Speaker 1>moved a coast. You don't belong in Chicago. The creatives, yes,

0:42:05.880 --> 0:42:09.360
<v Speaker 1>but no, she called it. And especially for for Liza,

0:42:09.480 --> 0:42:12.040
<v Speaker 1>who says she had no direction growing up, and obviously

0:42:12.080 --> 0:42:15.960
<v Speaker 1>she's a creative. But this mentor, Debbie Phillips called it

0:42:16.080 --> 0:42:19.799
<v Speaker 1>stomping your perimeter. What that means is like all these

0:42:19.920 --> 0:42:24.840
<v Speaker 1>random jobs or experiences in your life eventually go into

0:42:25.000 --> 0:42:29.520
<v Speaker 1>what becomes your dream job, and they all get used,

0:42:29.680 --> 0:42:31.920
<v Speaker 1>they all get used, and then eventually, you know, you

0:42:32.000 --> 0:42:34.280
<v Speaker 1>might have a new dream job that uses your skills

0:42:34.320 --> 0:42:37.600
<v Speaker 1>you you got from your first dream job. But she'll

0:42:37.600 --> 0:42:41.600
<v Speaker 1>get there. She just needs to keep those juices flowing. Yes, yeah,

0:42:41.680 --> 0:42:43.719
<v Speaker 1>but I know that feeling where you're just like, oh

0:42:43.760 --> 0:42:49.040
<v Speaker 1>my god, it's it feels like this just like insurmountable thing. Yeah.

0:42:49.200 --> 0:42:52.120
<v Speaker 1>And also just spending that kind of time alone, what

0:42:52.160 --> 0:42:54.279
<v Speaker 1>that does to your psyche. Like you could just tell

0:42:54.360 --> 0:42:56.879
<v Speaker 1>by her whole demeanor that she's just been alone too long.

0:42:57.080 --> 0:43:00.120
<v Speaker 1>She's just in her head and like, uh, because that

0:43:00.200 --> 0:43:03.200
<v Speaker 1>feeling sucks. You know, that's when you really need an adderall.

0:43:03.360 --> 0:43:05.759
<v Speaker 1>But we can't prescribe medication because we're not doctors, and

0:43:05.840 --> 0:43:08.200
<v Speaker 1>adderall it's not something that I would prescribe if I

0:43:08.239 --> 0:43:11.239
<v Speaker 1>were a doctor, even though I've had some good times

0:43:11.239 --> 0:43:19.480
<v Speaker 1>on adderall. Well. Our next question comes from Jess Jess says,

0:43:19.760 --> 0:43:22.600
<v Speaker 1>you're Chelsea. I'm about to turn thirty seven and have

0:43:22.680 --> 0:43:26.320
<v Speaker 1>been married for two years. After suffering two miscarriages and

0:43:26.480 --> 0:43:29.680
<v Speaker 1>nine months we decided to try IVF. It's been a

0:43:29.719 --> 0:43:32.880
<v Speaker 1>brutal past two months. To put it lightly. The reason

0:43:32.960 --> 0:43:35.279
<v Speaker 1>I'm writing this is that this whole pregnancy, loss and

0:43:35.360 --> 0:43:39.480
<v Speaker 1>infertility process has given me zero interest in sex. I

0:43:39.600 --> 0:43:42.440
<v Speaker 1>jokingly refer to myself as a laborate these days. With

0:43:42.520 --> 0:43:46.920
<v Speaker 1>all the doctor's appointments, tests, surgeries, shots, et cetera. Lately

0:43:47.000 --> 0:43:49.840
<v Speaker 1>I view my body in a strictly medical fashion. I

0:43:49.840 --> 0:43:53.880
<v Speaker 1>don't feel sexy or desire any pleasure physically. We probably

0:43:53.920 --> 0:43:56.120
<v Speaker 1>have sex about once a month. My husband has been

0:43:56.160 --> 0:43:58.479
<v Speaker 1>wonderful about it, but it can't help but to feel

0:43:58.600 --> 0:44:01.680
<v Speaker 1>terribly guilty, like I'm failing him as a wife. I

0:44:01.760 --> 0:44:04.480
<v Speaker 1>know sex is such an important component to marriage, and

0:44:04.520 --> 0:44:07.280
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to deprive my husband, especially so early

0:44:07.360 --> 0:44:10.560
<v Speaker 1>on into marriage. While I'm super attracted to my husband

0:44:10.600 --> 0:44:12.880
<v Speaker 1>and love him to death, I just have no desire

0:44:12.960 --> 0:44:15.600
<v Speaker 1>these days. So I guess my question is should I

0:44:15.640 --> 0:44:17.520
<v Speaker 1>put in more of an effort and just do it,

0:44:17.640 --> 0:44:19.680
<v Speaker 1>or is it okay to take this time during this

0:44:19.719 --> 0:44:22.680
<v Speaker 1>difficult journey to use my body how I feel most comfortable,

0:44:22.920 --> 0:44:26.560
<v Speaker 1>which is not having sex. Thanks Jess, Jenny, you didn't

0:44:26.560 --> 0:44:29.440
<v Speaker 1>have to do in vitro. Right, No, I wouldn't have

0:44:29.480 --> 0:44:32.239
<v Speaker 1>probably had kids because I think that Jason would have

0:44:32.280 --> 0:44:34.880
<v Speaker 1>done in vitro. He was desperate to have children. His

0:44:34.920 --> 0:44:37.759
<v Speaker 1>biological clock was drinking and we needed to like have

0:44:37.880 --> 0:44:41.839
<v Speaker 1>a baby to make him happy. And and I'm so

0:44:41.920 --> 0:44:44.560
<v Speaker 1>glad we did. But he really had to force me

0:44:44.600 --> 0:44:46.480
<v Speaker 1>off that ledge. Like I was white knuckling it to

0:44:46.520 --> 0:44:49.319
<v Speaker 1>the bitter end. I was just so afraid to be

0:44:49.360 --> 0:44:52.120
<v Speaker 1>a mom. But no, we didn't do i v F.

0:44:52.320 --> 0:44:53.719
<v Speaker 1>But I know a lot of friends that have been

0:44:53.760 --> 0:44:57.239
<v Speaker 1>through it, and it's brutal. It's just like, oh my god,

0:44:57.360 --> 0:45:02.000
<v Speaker 1>emotional journey is insane. And the thing is it's not permanent,

0:45:02.200 --> 0:45:04.280
<v Speaker 1>but it is annoying. But it's like that's how people

0:45:04.320 --> 0:45:08.680
<v Speaker 1>feel when they do IVF. Overwhelmingly, that's the consensus that

0:45:08.760 --> 0:45:11.400
<v Speaker 1>you don't want to have sex. So I think that

0:45:11.600 --> 0:45:13.759
<v Speaker 1>is your right to not want to have sex during

0:45:13.760 --> 0:45:16.000
<v Speaker 1>this time. And to explain that, I think you said

0:45:16.000 --> 0:45:19.640
<v Speaker 1>it nicely, like using your body for the purposes of

0:45:19.680 --> 0:45:24.480
<v Speaker 1>getting pregnant and getting healthy and having a successful pregnancy.

0:45:24.640 --> 0:45:27.080
<v Speaker 1>Could you try more? I mean that's up to you,

0:45:27.239 --> 0:45:29.839
<v Speaker 1>like if you want to, yeah, sure, but you don't

0:45:29.880 --> 0:45:32.600
<v Speaker 1>have to, and just remind yourself like it's not going

0:45:32.640 --> 0:45:35.080
<v Speaker 1>to be like this. It does take a tole on

0:45:35.120 --> 0:45:38.359
<v Speaker 1>the marriage because men need to fuck their moody, and

0:45:38.560 --> 0:45:41.640
<v Speaker 1>that is what helps their mood. Unfortunately, it's as basic

0:45:41.719 --> 0:45:44.320
<v Speaker 1>as that. Is that true, guys, then I should be

0:45:44.360 --> 0:45:47.360
<v Speaker 1>having more sex too, because I don't even put enough now.

0:45:47.520 --> 0:45:51.279
<v Speaker 1>I think that men really appreciate having sex like it

0:45:51.360 --> 0:45:54.000
<v Speaker 1>helps that. I think it helps them calm down. Do

0:45:54.080 --> 0:45:57.279
<v Speaker 1>you think it to calm down? Do I need to

0:45:57.320 --> 0:45:59.439
<v Speaker 1>be having more sex with you? Because like she's saying, word,

0:45:59.480 --> 0:46:01.520
<v Speaker 1>I be up. I'm still having sex one once a

0:46:01.520 --> 0:46:04.319
<v Speaker 1>month that I'm thinking that's fucking great. It sounds like

0:46:04.320 --> 0:46:06.480
<v Speaker 1>a lot. No, Jenny, once a month is not good

0:46:06.520 --> 0:46:10.200
<v Speaker 1>if you're not going through I V for Jason. Am

0:46:10.200 --> 0:46:13.759
<v Speaker 1>I gonna have to Jason again? Yes? And I think

0:46:13.760 --> 0:46:16.839
<v Speaker 1>it's okay. Let me talk to Joe about that. Joe,

0:46:16.880 --> 0:46:19.000
<v Speaker 1>but like he is sort of interfering with that. Little

0:46:19.360 --> 0:46:22.879
<v Speaker 1>Joe requires a hundred of my time. But anyway, back

0:46:22.920 --> 0:46:25.880
<v Speaker 1>to the person who actually called in for some serious advice.

0:46:26.320 --> 0:46:28.759
<v Speaker 1>That's my advice is everything I just said, you know,

0:46:28.920 --> 0:46:31.399
<v Speaker 1>absolutely take this time. If that's what you need, then

0:46:31.400 --> 0:46:33.360
<v Speaker 1>that is your right. Yes, and I think that you

0:46:33.360 --> 0:46:35.359
<v Speaker 1>should be having less sex because I think you're going

0:46:35.400 --> 0:46:37.200
<v Speaker 1>through a lot. You don't even need to put out

0:46:37.239 --> 0:46:41.399
<v Speaker 1>once a month. Yeah, and like there are other things

0:46:41.440 --> 0:46:43.680
<v Speaker 1>you can do to satisfy his needs without him having

0:46:43.719 --> 0:46:47.040
<v Speaker 1>to get all up in your space, watch some porn exactly,

0:46:47.239 --> 0:46:49.360
<v Speaker 1>or like helping you know, give him a hand whatever

0:46:49.400 --> 0:46:54.959
<v Speaker 1>else a fucking child. Yes, I find a hand job

0:46:55.000 --> 0:46:58.560
<v Speaker 1>to be even sillier than a blow and Harry, it's

0:46:58.640 --> 0:47:02.919
<v Speaker 1>almost just like you're just jerking someone off. It's there's

0:47:02.960 --> 0:47:09.240
<v Speaker 1>something very I don't think I've ever given a hand happen.

0:47:09.320 --> 0:47:11.440
<v Speaker 1>I know, like that just seems like a long way

0:47:11.480 --> 0:47:15.239
<v Speaker 1>to go. Like there's so many more effective ways to

0:47:15.320 --> 0:47:18.920
<v Speaker 1>make that happen, Like a hand job. Who has time

0:47:19.000 --> 0:47:21.680
<v Speaker 1>for that? It's so silly. You can just read a

0:47:21.719 --> 0:47:29.160
<v Speaker 1>book while you're doing Yeah it is. Yeah, anyway, so

0:47:29.520 --> 0:47:34.120
<v Speaker 1>whatever you do, don't give a hand job. That's the

0:47:34.160 --> 0:47:38.319
<v Speaker 1>title of this episode. Yes, well, Jess, let us know

0:47:38.360 --> 0:47:41.120
<v Speaker 1>how it goes. And also like get yourself a massage.

0:47:41.160 --> 0:47:42.759
<v Speaker 1>From someone who's not trying to have sex with you,

0:47:42.880 --> 0:47:45.240
<v Speaker 1>so you can like feel good about your body. Yeah,

0:47:45.440 --> 0:47:48.359
<v Speaker 1>good good, That good one, Catherine. So our last little

0:47:48.440 --> 0:47:52.560
<v Speaker 1>question here, and this is a quickie, is Dear Chelsea. First,

0:47:52.680 --> 0:47:55.479
<v Speaker 1>I want to say you are amazing. I'm a huge

0:47:55.520 --> 0:47:58.480
<v Speaker 1>fan and really appreciate all that you do. I just

0:47:58.520 --> 0:48:01.839
<v Speaker 1>wanted to ask for book recommendations. I know you're an

0:48:01.840 --> 0:48:03.840
<v Speaker 1>avid reader and was just wondering if you knew of

0:48:03.880 --> 0:48:06.800
<v Speaker 1>any good reads for shifting one's mindset to more positive

0:48:06.840 --> 0:48:10.200
<v Speaker 1>thoughts and gaining self confidence. Also, if you have any

0:48:10.239 --> 0:48:13.360
<v Speaker 1>recommendations on fiction books or a series you really like,

0:48:13.480 --> 0:48:19.280
<v Speaker 1>I would definitely appreciate it. Thanks Chelsea from Virginia. Oh,

0:48:19.360 --> 0:48:22.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm reading this book Between Two Kingdoms. But it's not

0:48:22.600 --> 0:48:26.680
<v Speaker 1>necessarily upbeat, but it does it will make you grateful

0:48:26.760 --> 0:48:29.960
<v Speaker 1>for your own life and existence because this is a

0:48:30.000 --> 0:48:32.960
<v Speaker 1>story about a woman who gets diagnosed with this blood

0:48:33.000 --> 0:48:36.240
<v Speaker 1>cancer when she's twenty two and then everything that happens after,

0:48:36.719 --> 0:48:40.160
<v Speaker 1>and it's it's brutal, like in terms of what you

0:48:40.160 --> 0:48:43.040
<v Speaker 1>could you realize that the human body can endure. But

0:48:43.120 --> 0:48:46.320
<v Speaker 1>it's really also really well written. Till Between Two Kingdoms,

0:48:46.480 --> 0:48:48.799
<v Speaker 1>it's a great book. It actually really I read it

0:48:48.840 --> 0:48:52.160
<v Speaker 1>this weekend and I came away feeling very grateful and optimistic.

0:48:52.239 --> 0:48:55.040
<v Speaker 1>So that's a good way to make yourself feel good

0:48:55.080 --> 0:48:57.279
<v Speaker 1>and grateful for all the things that you have and

0:48:57.320 --> 0:49:00.160
<v Speaker 1>don't have to experience. And it's an eye opener. But

0:49:00.239 --> 0:49:03.160
<v Speaker 1>in terms of what's a good fiction book, I always

0:49:03.200 --> 0:49:07.759
<v Speaker 1>recommend Cercy That by Madeline Miller. That's a good fictional

0:49:07.840 --> 0:49:10.200
<v Speaker 1>book and that takes you to another place and it's

0:49:10.239 --> 0:49:12.200
<v Speaker 1>just like magic Land, and usually I don't like that

0:49:12.239 --> 0:49:15.000
<v Speaker 1>kind of ship, but I do love that book. Jenny,

0:49:15.040 --> 0:49:17.680
<v Speaker 1>have you read any good fiction lately? I read this

0:49:17.760 --> 0:49:21.680
<v Speaker 1>book it's called Mouth to Mouth and it was really fun.

0:49:21.800 --> 0:49:24.920
<v Speaker 1>I loved it because I don't want to give it away,

0:49:24.960 --> 0:49:26.319
<v Speaker 1>but it's these two guys. They meet up in an

0:49:26.320 --> 0:49:28.120
<v Speaker 1>airport and they haven't seen each other since they went

0:49:28.160 --> 0:49:30.200
<v Speaker 1>to school together when they were younger, and just the

0:49:30.239 --> 0:49:34.440
<v Speaker 1>story that sort of unfolds the ending is killer. I

0:49:34.520 --> 0:49:36.359
<v Speaker 1>just I really loved it. It was a great read,

0:49:36.640 --> 0:49:41.240
<v Speaker 1>so different, it just yeah, really captured me. I also

0:49:41.320 --> 0:49:45.320
<v Speaker 1>just read the new Rebecca Searl book recently, One Italian Summer,

0:49:45.880 --> 0:49:49.520
<v Speaker 1>which is a great summer beach read, and then don't

0:49:49.520 --> 0:49:51.759
<v Speaker 1>forget to order City of Likes, which is coming out

0:49:51.840 --> 0:49:54.640
<v Speaker 1>June four, but you can preorder it now on Amazon.

0:49:55.160 --> 0:49:58.120
<v Speaker 1>City of Likes by Jenny Mullin. It's better than all

0:49:58.160 --> 0:50:02.040
<v Speaker 1>of these books, so to order that. No. And then

0:50:02.120 --> 0:50:04.520
<v Speaker 1>as far as a self help or like a you know,

0:50:04.880 --> 0:50:06.880
<v Speaker 1>really working on your self type book, I always come

0:50:06.880 --> 0:50:09.560
<v Speaker 1>back to The Untethered Soul whenever I'm having a panic

0:50:09.600 --> 0:50:13.719
<v Speaker 1>attack or I'm feeling scared that something's going awry or

0:50:13.719 --> 0:50:17.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna die. I read The Untethered Soul and chapter

0:50:17.360 --> 0:50:20.960
<v Speaker 1>two mind blowing. I I love chapter two of the

0:50:21.000 --> 0:50:24.200
<v Speaker 1>bookshets the best chapter, but that's a great one. All right,

0:50:24.200 --> 0:50:26.600
<v Speaker 1>Well that's a good list of recommendations. We've talked about

0:50:26.600 --> 0:50:30.839
<v Speaker 1>that book before. Yeah, start there. We're going to take

0:50:30.880 --> 0:50:37.879
<v Speaker 1>a quick break and we'll be back with Jenny and Chelsea.

0:50:39.120 --> 0:50:44.560
<v Speaker 1>And we're back, Jenny, Do you have any advice you'd

0:50:44.560 --> 0:50:50.040
<v Speaker 1>like to get from Chelsea? Yeah, I'm curious as somebody

0:50:50.080 --> 0:50:54.360
<v Speaker 1>who is touring with comedy, who's out there telling jokes

0:50:54.440 --> 0:50:59.440
<v Speaker 1>in this post COVID world, post Trumpian era. I'm afraid

0:50:59.520 --> 0:51:02.759
<v Speaker 1>to be on Twitter these days, and I've really I'm

0:51:02.800 --> 0:51:05.120
<v Speaker 1>just so much more self conscious about the things that

0:51:05.160 --> 0:51:11.400
<v Speaker 1>I'll joke about publicly. I'm wondering has it changed your comedy,

0:51:12.040 --> 0:51:14.239
<v Speaker 1>and like, what are your thoughts on that? What would

0:51:14.280 --> 0:51:17.880
<v Speaker 1>you advise people who are out there running off of

0:51:17.920 --> 0:51:21.560
<v Speaker 1>the mouth. I think it's made me sharper and more clever.

0:51:21.840 --> 0:51:24.880
<v Speaker 1>Like I think my stand up is stronger than it

0:51:24.920 --> 0:51:27.640
<v Speaker 1>ever has been because of the very essence of being

0:51:27.680 --> 0:51:30.200
<v Speaker 1>mindful of others, you know what I mean, and not

0:51:30.400 --> 0:51:32.960
<v Speaker 1>going for the cheap joke or the easy joke or

0:51:33.040 --> 0:51:36.600
<v Speaker 1>the low hanging fruit. Actually being sharp about what you're

0:51:36.600 --> 0:51:38.319
<v Speaker 1>going to talk about and what your point of view

0:51:38.360 --> 0:51:41.239
<v Speaker 1>about it is. Because there's still plenty to make fun

0:51:41.280 --> 0:51:43.279
<v Speaker 1>of it. All we have to do is not be

0:51:43.360 --> 0:51:46.080
<v Speaker 1>sexist and racist, you know what I mean. That's not

0:51:46.160 --> 0:51:49.640
<v Speaker 1>at all order, especially for for so many comics. Like

0:51:49.800 --> 0:51:53.080
<v Speaker 1>That's why I keep having these conversations about reviving Chelsea

0:51:53.160 --> 0:51:57.080
<v Speaker 1>Lately into Chelsea Later, because I feel I've seen so

0:51:57.120 --> 0:51:59.680
<v Speaker 1>many comics on the road now it's like, this isn't

0:51:59.680 --> 0:52:02.279
<v Speaker 1>a hard time to be funny or be yourself. There's

0:52:02.360 --> 0:52:04.960
<v Speaker 1>just parameters that have been set that should have been

0:52:05.000 --> 0:52:07.319
<v Speaker 1>set frankly a long time ago. So I think you're

0:52:07.320 --> 0:52:10.400
<v Speaker 1>going to enjoy it. It's just it's as a creative

0:52:10.520 --> 0:52:12.560
<v Speaker 1>all you ever want to do is have more clarity

0:52:12.600 --> 0:52:16.480
<v Speaker 1>and be sharper. And what about politically do you avoid

0:52:16.640 --> 0:52:19.640
<v Speaker 1>or do you go straight forward the jugular? Well, with politics,

0:52:19.680 --> 0:52:22.319
<v Speaker 1>I think I had so much. I didn't do a

0:52:22.320 --> 0:52:25.279
<v Speaker 1>lot of good. I don't think by being so politically

0:52:25.440 --> 0:52:28.480
<v Speaker 1>out there like people, it was very divisive Because of

0:52:28.520 --> 0:52:32.080
<v Speaker 1>my personality, I engage much more on a different decibel,

0:52:32.480 --> 0:52:35.560
<v Speaker 1>is what I've learned about my own political activism. My

0:52:35.640 --> 0:52:39.080
<v Speaker 1>opinions are of course the same and hopefully you know,

0:52:39.200 --> 0:52:41.879
<v Speaker 1>changing as time goes on all the time. But I

0:52:41.920 --> 0:52:44.279
<v Speaker 1>wasn't making the kind of traction and the kind of

0:52:45.200 --> 0:52:47.799
<v Speaker 1>things happened that I wanted to. And I realized there's

0:52:47.800 --> 0:52:50.879
<v Speaker 1>a different volume associated with every part of what you do,

0:52:51.520 --> 0:52:53.799
<v Speaker 1>and you can be much more effective if you pay

0:52:53.840 --> 0:52:58.799
<v Speaker 1>attention to that. Yeah, yeah, And on that upbeat note,

0:52:59.440 --> 0:53:03.200
<v Speaker 1>I um going to go in the bathroom and finger

0:53:03.239 --> 0:53:09.520
<v Speaker 1>blast myself, Chelsea. Is that a hand up? Talk about

0:53:09.520 --> 0:53:12.919
<v Speaker 1>low hanging fruit? Jenny, I love you so much, Thank

0:53:12.960 --> 0:53:15.280
<v Speaker 1>you so much for being here today. I'm so excited

0:53:15.320 --> 0:53:18.400
<v Speaker 1>for your book. Everybody please grab a copy. City of

0:53:18.480 --> 0:53:21.799
<v Speaker 1>likes and let us know yeah start book clubs and

0:53:21.840 --> 0:53:26.319
<v Speaker 1>tag us and tag Jenny. That's great, Thank you, thank

0:53:26.360 --> 0:53:31.560
<v Speaker 1>you so much. This was so fun. Tell Jason, I

0:53:31.560 --> 0:53:34.640
<v Speaker 1>said to funk Off. Okay, okay, tell Joe the next

0:53:34.640 --> 0:53:36.960
<v Speaker 1>time we're getting together, the next look we're gonna go

0:53:37.040 --> 0:53:39.839
<v Speaker 1>for is like all Sailor we did, We already did,

0:53:39.920 --> 0:53:42.759
<v Speaker 1>Army Medic. Next, he had some good stuff from that

0:53:42.840 --> 0:53:47.480
<v Speaker 1>Martha's Vineyard brand. What's it called? With the whale your advice,

0:53:47.560 --> 0:53:49.760
<v Speaker 1>He's got a great how I already have his outfit

0:53:49.840 --> 0:53:56.960
<v Speaker 1>checked out. Yeah, yeah, okay, no problems, okay, thanks. So

0:53:57.000 --> 0:53:59.680
<v Speaker 1>if you'd like to ask Chelsea a question, email us

0:53:59.680 --> 0:54:04.239
<v Speaker 1>at r Chelsea Project at gmail dot com