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Speaker 1: Okay, Hi, Hello Chelsea, Hi, how are you. I'm good.

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Speaker 1: It's it's a bright, beautiful day today here in Los Angeles.

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Speaker 1: I had a good recovery from my week of shows.

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Speaker 1: I slept for thirteen hours from Sunday to Monday, and

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Speaker 1: then Monday I went to bed at nine with Joe.

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Speaker 1: I like when he goes to sleep early too, and

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Speaker 1: we just I just catch my sleep during the week,

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Speaker 1: you know. I Actually this is gonna sound so l a,

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Speaker 1: but I had a meeting with a shaman weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: I love yes, and as he did basically like a

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Speaker 1: body scan and pulled cards like these animal cards for

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Speaker 1: each part of my body. And one thing he told

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Speaker 1: me was he asked when I'm sleeping. He told me

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Speaker 1: it's kind of later in the night, to know, maybe

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Speaker 1: a little later in the morning then maybe like someone

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Speaker 1: with kids or something. But he told me I need

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Speaker 1: to start going to bed at nine pm and waking

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Speaker 1: up at verse six. He said, the time between nine

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Speaker 1: and midnight is when your body is in healing mode.

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Speaker 1: So he said, you're not allowing your body to heal

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Speaker 1: from midnight on. It's like preparing for the next day. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I kind of blew my mind a little bit.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, maybe I should try this. I love going

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Speaker 1: to bed at nine o'clock. I mean, nothing gives me

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Speaker 1: more pleasure than knowing because then I'm so energized in

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Speaker 1: the morning and I'm so clear. I love it. I

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Speaker 1: love sleep. I can't tell you how much I love sleep.

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Speaker 1: I just love it. Are you a good sleeper? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I mean I wake up a lot, so that's annoying.

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Speaker 1: But if I don't drink, I can have a really

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Speaker 1: good night's sleep. I mean I pee. I have to

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Speaker 1: pee like twice a night, so that's that's annoying. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure that will only get worse as time goes on.

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Speaker 1: But Joe doesn't get up to pe in the middle

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Speaker 1: of the night. I envy him for that. My husband

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Speaker 1: will drink like a liter of water right before bed,

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Speaker 1: and then he has to get up. I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: there's a reason for that. Hello, we understand why. But

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Speaker 1: he just gets very thirsty. He's very thirsty. Well at

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Speaker 1: least yeah, Well, I guess he's thirsty while he's sleeping,

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Speaker 1: which is an unusual phenomenon. Right, I have shows coming

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Speaker 1: up tomorrow night. I am in Springfield, Massachusetts, that's June

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Speaker 1: sevente and I'm in Windsor, Ontario at Caesar's Windsor the Coliseum.

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Speaker 1: And I'm coming to Vancouver and Calgary and Honolulu and

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Speaker 1: Cahulu Cahulu, Hawaii. That's on Maui, Honolulu and Mauie. I

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Speaker 1: will be there July one and July three, and I

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Speaker 1: will have my lover with me there, so I know

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Speaker 1: how much Hawaiian's love that excellent. I do have an

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Speaker 1: update for us, Chelsea. What is it? What is this?

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Speaker 1: Is from remember the woman who called in who her

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Speaker 1: daughter heard her having sex and was very upset. Well,

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Speaker 1: the daughter wrote in, I'm very excited about it. The

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Speaker 1: subject line is twenty year old daughter overhearing mother having sex.

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Speaker 1: I am the daughter, Dear Chelsea. She says, just listen

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Speaker 1: to the episode comic stating comment in which I was

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Speaker 1: featured in a story my mother quote, Jenny wrote it,

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Speaker 1: I love this. This is the story of my life.

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Speaker 1: Is talking about someone who I don't think is ever

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Speaker 1: going to listen to the platform I'm on and finding

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Speaker 1: out within thirty seconds. Yes, she said, I'm not looking

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Speaker 1: for any sort of public update, but I thought i'd

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Speaker 1: feel you guys, in in case you were curious. I

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Speaker 1: don't live with my mom, but was home visiting from

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Speaker 1: college for one night. That's the night she chose to

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Speaker 1: have someone over, so surely it was intentional. I also

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Speaker 1: didn't call her perverted or a slot, but I did

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Speaker 1: say I felt disgusted because well I did. This is

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Speaker 1: the third or fourth time I've experienced her doing this,

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Speaker 1: and after having many conversations, I was quite honestly over it,

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Speaker 1: which resulted in me not speaking to her for a

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Speaker 1: few months. Once I was able to get the image

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Speaker 1: somewhat out of my head, I was ready to speak again.

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Speaker 1: I love my mom, and she's made me a very

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Speaker 1: strong woman who's unashamed of my sexuality. I all so.

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Speaker 1: I think she's a badass and a beautiful woman who

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Speaker 1: should be able to bang every man on the black. However,

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Speaker 1: I'd like it if our sex lives could be kept separate.

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Speaker 1: I love the podcast and listen to every episode. I

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Speaker 1: have no clue how I missed this episode until now,

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Speaker 1: probably because I wasn't talking to my mom L O L. However,

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Speaker 1: we're all good now, and although our relationship won't be

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Speaker 1: quite the same, it is somewhat back to normal. I

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Speaker 1: emailed her asking if it was okay to share this.

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Speaker 1: She said sure, I'll look forward to listening. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to add that my mom offered me tickets to Chelsea's

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Speaker 1: show in Jacksonville, and it was definitely the icebreaker we needed,

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Speaker 1: maybe a subtle bribe, but also there was no point

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Speaker 1: in staying angry since it all worked out. We loved

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Speaker 1: the show. Thanks the profane daughter. Wow, I love that.

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Speaker 1: I know what a cutie. Yeah, I mean that is

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Speaker 1: sucked up, like if your mom saves them one night

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Speaker 1: for you when you're home. But how did your the

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Speaker 1: daughter know that it's that one night that she doesn't

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Speaker 1: funk all the time, you know what I mean? And

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Speaker 1: that that's just like her daughter's there. It's like that

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Speaker 1: can't be too much of an inconvenient I agree with her, though,

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Speaker 1: there's no reason of sex while your daughter's home. You

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Speaker 1: can't take a couple of nights off of fucking, Like,

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Speaker 1: come on, do a popcorn and a movie night with

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Speaker 1: your daughter. Yeah, put a plug in it or something. Jeez,

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Speaker 1: but I'm glad they're all back together. That sounds nice. Yeah, exactly. Well,

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Speaker 1: before we get to all the fun stuff, we'll take

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Speaker 1: a quick break. Okay, sounds good. We'll be right back. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So we have a very good friend of mine on

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Speaker 1: the podcast today. She's an author, she's a memoirist. She's

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Speaker 1: got a new book coming out that I'm really excited about.

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Speaker 1: It's called City of Likes. She also has a podcast.

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Speaker 1: Joe and I were her very first guest on her podcast.

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Speaker 1: It's called third Wheel. We tell our love story on

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Speaker 1: that podcast. Oh and City of Likes is already being

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Speaker 1: adapted into a TV show with Diablo Cody attached. So

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Speaker 1: that's another person that I like a lot that I'm

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Speaker 1: friends with. I'm friends with a lot of people that

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Speaker 1: I do not like, but I'm also friends with a

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Speaker 1: lot of people that I do like. That's not true.

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Speaker 1: I'm not friends with anyone I don't like. I don't

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Speaker 1: have time for that kind of those kinds of shenanigans.

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Speaker 1: But her name is Jenny Mullin. Hello, Hi are you on? Hi?

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Speaker 1: Hi sid Biggs. I'm said Biggs today in London. Oh

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Speaker 1: you're in London? Yeah? Oh my god. Later for her,

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Speaker 1: it's seven o'clock right. I don't even know anymore. I

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Speaker 1: took any ambient yesterday. I'm just I'm on an ambien now, Jenny,

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Speaker 1: so don't worry. Fabulous, I love it. I always like

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Speaker 1: to take an ambien or a muscle relaxer. Right before

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Speaker 1: I got started, I didn't know you were going to London.

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Speaker 1: I just had Katherine. I just had dinner with Jenny

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Speaker 1: and Jason in the city the other night, Joe, Jenny,

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Speaker 1: and because we're a quartet now, the four of us,

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Speaker 1: they're so they're so excited. Oh yeah, we all wore

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Speaker 1: Khaki and we all yeah, and they're so excited that

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Speaker 1: I actually have a real boyfriend that people like, you know,

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Speaker 1: people just are so psyched about it. And then we

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Speaker 1: saw Sarah Silverman's play The Bedwetter. Yes, yeah, it was great.

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Speaker 1: There's this girl and it who's awesome, the girl that

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Speaker 1: plays Sarah so Rman as a young girl. She was

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Speaker 1: really awesome. And we had a lot of book talk

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Speaker 1: because Jenny, who is a really good friend of mine,

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Speaker 1: has a new book coming out which has she has

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Speaker 1: been toiling away on in the same vein as you

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Speaker 1: know Ernest Hemingway pretty much. She was working on this

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Speaker 1: book for so long and so fiercely that it is

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Speaker 1: really something to celebrate that It has been printed and

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Speaker 1: is coming out on June. Yes, everybody, It's called City

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Speaker 1: of Likes So long. That last time Chelsea sent me

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Speaker 1: her book, the inscription said, here's my book, Where the

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Speaker 1: fuck is yours? So long? It literally before ever this one.

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Speaker 1: It's like a pregnancy that won't end. Yeah, that's a

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Speaker 1: really long pregnancy. So talk to us a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Tell our listeners about the book, because I would describe

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Speaker 1: it as a great commentary on modern society, present day society,

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Speaker 1: and the embarrassing nature we all have towards social media. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's definitely takes wipes at a lot of these influencers

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Speaker 1: that you know, we either follow, we hate follow, or

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Speaker 1: we just like still have them in our feed like

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Speaker 1: we don't know how to get rid of them, we

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Speaker 1: don't know how to like pull away. And it really

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Speaker 1: gets into this culture that we're living in right now,

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Speaker 1: where we are so addicted to this need for external validation.

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Speaker 1: And I really wanted to write a book that dealt

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Speaker 1: with the stuff that I was seeing in Manhattan, where

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Speaker 1: you know, when I got to New York, I felt

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Speaker 1: like in l A the currencies fame. So you're only

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Speaker 1: as good as the last pilot, you shot like, that's

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Speaker 1: the only reason people will only talk to you if

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Speaker 1: you're like on a billboard or a TV show. When

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Speaker 1: I got to New York, it was interesting though, because

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Speaker 1: I sort of came with these strings attached. I had

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Speaker 1: this following of women between the ages of eighteen to

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Speaker 1: twenty five with a little bit of buying power, and

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Speaker 1: these influencers but also brands. And it's not really ladies

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Speaker 1: who lunch anymore, it's ladies who launched. So they all

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Speaker 1: have their own companies. Whether they're fake companies are real,

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Speaker 1: doesn't really matter. But I was embraced by them, and

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Speaker 1: I was brought into this weird, underground sort of society

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Speaker 1: where it was like mommy supper clubs, power moms supper clubs,

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Speaker 1: and like weddings for dogs and fashion Week, crazy, these

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Speaker 1: parties that you would just like not believe we're real.

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Speaker 1: And a friend of mine said, Jenny, you can't write

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Speaker 1: another memoir right now. You need to write about what's

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Speaker 1: actually happening to you. And what I was seeing was

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Speaker 1: just this disparity between how we were like curating motherhood

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Speaker 1: and how we were presenting it to sort of our

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Speaker 1: fans and friends and followers, and then like what was

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Speaker 1: really going on? And that just kind of haunted me,

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Speaker 1: and whether I wanted to write a memoir or not,

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Speaker 1: I knew I will be driven out of New York

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Speaker 1: City if I don't call this book fiction. So that's

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Speaker 1: where we're starting off. Guys, that's funny. I mean, how

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Speaker 1: would you describe your relationship with social media? I would

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Speaker 1: say that before the pandemic, it was like a cigarette

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Speaker 1: that I would hide from my children, the other woman

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Speaker 1: in my marriage. You know. It was something that I

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Speaker 1: was doing that I knew I shouldn't be doing as

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Speaker 1: much as of it as I was doing. I didn't

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Speaker 1: really want to admit it to myself or my family.

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Speaker 1: And then once the pandemic hit and we were just

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Speaker 1: stuck in a house together, nobody could go anywhere. It

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Speaker 1: was like, guys, this is the real thing. What happening?

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Speaker 1: Are we gonna live or die? You know? Refresh every

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Speaker 1: ten fucking seconds. No, but I grapple with it all

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Speaker 1: the time. It's when you have kids, you're just riddled

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Speaker 1: with guilt in general, and all you kind of sit

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Speaker 1: there wondering is how am I going to suck them up?

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Speaker 1: And for me, it always comes back to I am

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Speaker 1: so desperately. I'm just so scared that one day my

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Speaker 1: kids are gonna look at me and say, like, why

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Speaker 1: did you choose that stranger on the phone over like

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Speaker 1: the people that were sitting in front of you, Why

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Speaker 1: did you reach for that? Even if it is a

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Speaker 1: path lavic reaction, it just it kills me to think

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Speaker 1: that this thing that I have this relationship for, this

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Speaker 1: like insatiable beast that I keep eating in order to

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Speaker 1: sustain my career is going to really impact my children.

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Speaker 1: That's just like for me, kill me. Yeah, but not

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Speaker 1: enough for you to stop using social media, especially right

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Speaker 1: now because I gotta sell the fucking box. Maybe I

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Speaker 1: can throw my phone out the window. Yeah, that's so funny.

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Speaker 1: It's so fucking true, though, I mean, who does who

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Speaker 1: feels I want to know who feels good after they

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Speaker 1: look at social media, especially if you're on a train

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Speaker 1: and you're just scrolling for a long period of time,

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Speaker 1: like if you're spending an hour or something doing it,

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Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden you realize that you've

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Speaker 1: been doing it and you don't have any remorse. Is

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Speaker 1: really where where the question lies? Because I feel like

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Speaker 1: that's pretty much where we are in society. Nobody gives

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Speaker 1: a funk about how shallow or empty it is. Vapid

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Speaker 1: is really the word, right, You're just like looking at

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Speaker 1: other people to decide what do you think about when

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Speaker 1: the phone tells you. The worst is when the phone

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Speaker 1: says you've scrolled enough, You've seen all there is to see.

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Speaker 1: There are no more update. It's like the person at

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Speaker 1: the bar being like, I think you're good. All right, right,

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Speaker 1: I've scrolled too much. My phone is telling me. Now,

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Speaker 1: first of all, I've never gotten that message, so I

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Speaker 1: think you. I think I think you're advance. Yeah have

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Speaker 1: you ever seen that? I have not. But I have

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Speaker 1: like a limiter. Oh yeah, my my thing. I did

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Speaker 1: once get to the end of Facebook, like back in

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Speaker 1: the day, and I was like, this was a waste

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Speaker 1: of a Friday night. It was. It was a terrible feeling.

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Speaker 1: It says you're all caught up. Oh my god. No,

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Speaker 1: I have like a limiter on there, and I always

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Speaker 1: in like fifteen more minutes, fifteen more minutes. The limit

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Speaker 1: does not exist. Give me fifteen more. Yeah, you have

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Speaker 1: a tier on Okay, that's that's a good idea, doesn't

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Speaker 1: do it? I've heard, I've heard of people having timers,

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Speaker 1: but you have to have will power in addition to

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Speaker 1: the timer. And now it's hard, it's so hard. Press

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Speaker 1: your situation. The marriage in the book is a big

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Speaker 1: part of it, and I think that mirrors your relationship

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Speaker 1: with j Sit a little bit right or a lot.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Yeah, I really I knew when I

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Speaker 1: was writing the book that I didn't want the husband

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Speaker 1: to be Jason. So I was very conscious the whole

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Speaker 1: time that I didn't want to write him just because

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Speaker 1: I have memoirs and I wanted that dynamic to be different.

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Speaker 1: But it does talk about a relationship with you know,

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Speaker 1: somebody coming into your marriage and kind of pulling you out.

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Speaker 1: And not only have I had that happened, because I

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Speaker 1: do find these mentor figures that come into my life.

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Speaker 1: And or Chenny likes to like fixate on, you know,

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Speaker 1: somebody that she's either met or has stated, someone she's

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Speaker 1: stated or someone you know, Jason stated. She gets fixated

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Speaker 1: and she likes, Yeah, she likes to really focus on

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Speaker 1: that because she's fascinated by that person and she wants

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Speaker 1: to know everything that It's like, it's just so there's

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Speaker 1: just so much low hanging fruit there comedy. I just

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Speaker 1: love it, But no, I also find myself. I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: always finding these mommy figures and I attached and the

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Speaker 1: and they become men tours, and then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: I find myself just like kind of serving these narcissists

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Speaker 1: on some level. And there's no greater When the narcissist

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Speaker 1: shines their light on you, you like there is no

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Speaker 1: greater high. You just feel so seen, You're like I

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Speaker 1: am chosen. But when that light blows off, it's just

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Speaker 1: it can be so painful. And I know that in

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Speaker 1: these female relationships, we do sort of date each other,

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Speaker 1: and there are and I've experienced these relationships that do

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Speaker 1: kind of get toxic and and have on occasion pulled

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Speaker 1: me from maybe priorities at home what have you. And

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Speaker 1: I wanted to really get into that and discuss sort

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Speaker 1: of that dance that we do as women with other women.

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Speaker 1: So that's kind of more what in terms of the marriage,

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Speaker 1: There were definitely fights with Jason and I along the

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Speaker 1: way in regard to how much time I was spending

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Speaker 1: with this one particular person and how my life started

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Speaker 1: to revolve around this person and so I wanted to

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Speaker 1: really kind of talk about that and just like the

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Speaker 1: pain that comes along with it, because I think that

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Speaker 1: when you have to end it, it's hard, especially if

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Speaker 1: they represent your mother on just being family can have

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Speaker 1: You've known me for years, I can tell you everything,

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Speaker 1: but also especially when your husband has to see you

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Speaker 1: more in a relationship that was only taking away from him,

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Speaker 1: which is, you know, essentially on some level an affair

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Speaker 1: in his mind. You know, yes, yeah, exactly, It's like

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Speaker 1: watching your wife more in her ex lover, right, Like

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Speaker 1: what I have to be privy to this? Yes, why

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Speaker 1: do I shoulder you're crying on Jason's Definitely we have

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Speaker 1: a similar dynamic with our relationships. Yes, you're in charge

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Speaker 1: and I'm in charge, and they're both they both are

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Speaker 1: total men, but they both like will defer to us

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Speaker 1: on major decisions right, completely completely. That's why I feel

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Speaker 1: so good about this relationship for you, because I feel

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Speaker 1: like you're finally with adjacent type and I like that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like Joe doesn't put up with any of my ship either.

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Speaker 1: I came home Sunday Sunday morning from New York. We

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Speaker 1: went shopping and we've grabbed some lunch and we were

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Speaker 1: going into get a Starbucks and I said, Hey, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna just go to this shop. We had like two

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Speaker 1: hours together before he had to go to leave for

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Speaker 1: his show. I go, hey, I'm just gonna go into

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Speaker 1: this little boutique because I didn't wanted to grab some clothes.

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Speaker 1: And I go, I'm just gonna go and hear while

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Speaker 1: you get a coffee. And he turned around and looked

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Speaker 1: at me, goes, no, you're not. We have two hours together,

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Speaker 1: get your fucking ass over here. And I just I

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Speaker 1: just started laughing because I was like, yeah, it's totally right,

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Speaker 1: Like that's a fucking dick move. But of course I'm

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Speaker 1: a dick, so I didn't even think about it. You know. No,

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Speaker 1: I have the perfect comeback for you. You've just said

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Speaker 1: him like, you're the fucking person who made me a shopper. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I go that's I thought you'd be happy I was shopping.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right. But I also like that he's just like, no,

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Speaker 1: you're not going there, don't even Yeah it's hot, yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: But I think as a strong woman, you definitely need

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Speaker 1: somebody who can like give you that push back. My

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Speaker 1: husband I have a very similar dynamic and for a

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Speaker 1: long time I thought like, oh, am I being too bossy.

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Speaker 1: Am I like making all the decisions. And it took

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Speaker 1: like eight or nine years before I was like, he

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Speaker 1: actually married because he wants a bossy woman in his life,

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Speaker 1: Like he wants to make decisions when he wants to,

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Speaker 1: but also like he wants veto power. But if it's

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Speaker 1: like where we're going to dinner or what we're gonna

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Speaker 1: do for the weekend, he's like, just lets you pick,

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Speaker 1: Like Jason claims he wants me to have control. And

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Speaker 1: for instance, where we're doing some like redecorating the house

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Speaker 1: and he's like, I don't care, do whatever you want.

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Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, things up here. He's like,

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Speaker 1: that'scons war work, no way, Oh that looks terrible. He's like,

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Speaker 1: we need more light here, we need It's like he

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Speaker 1: has so many fucking opinions. But then you know, the

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Speaker 1: stuff starts showing up to his house and and it

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Speaker 1: just immediately leaves. He sends it away. No. Yeah, decorating

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Speaker 1: between couples is also a big no no. That's no

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Speaker 1: fun to do. I think that's like a whole reality show.

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Speaker 1: And just te him to go away. For three months

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Speaker 1: while you sort some things out and then get back

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Speaker 1: to him. Yeah, he'll come back to the finished product.

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Speaker 1: It will be beautiful. Yeah, I love it. He's like,

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Speaker 1: you're going to give away everything because I do tend

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Speaker 1: to just like ship his things out while you're a

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Speaker 1: woman and Jason's technically a man. Okay, So we're going

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Speaker 1: to take some callers, Jenny, We're gonna have some people

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Speaker 1: right in. Some people call in and you'll see, and

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Speaker 1: we're just giving them real advice. Okay, great. Yeah, before

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Speaker 1: we get to that, we will take a quick break

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Speaker 1: and be back with Jenny Mullen and Chelsea. And we're

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Speaker 1: back with Jenny Mullen and Chelsea and Catherine hi Well.

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Speaker 1: Our first email today comes from Kristen. She says, Dear Chelsea,

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Speaker 1: I have a bit of an unusual question for you.

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Speaker 1: I've been together with my husband for four years now.

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Speaker 1: Over the years, I've noticed that he farts really often

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Speaker 1: and they're always loud, but never stinky. We became vegan

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Speaker 1: a year and a half ago, and I was a

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Speaker 1: big mistake. I was hoping that taking dairy out of

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Speaker 1: our diet would make his gas better, but it stayed

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Speaker 1: the same. It's hard to ignore his farts because they

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Speaker 1: are so loud and they're really starting to annoy me.

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Speaker 1: I've asked him to walk out of the room to fart,

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Speaker 1: but he thinks that's too much effort. What do you

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Speaker 1: think I should do? Sincerely, Kristen, Oh wow, way to

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Speaker 1: start off the episode. I Jenny knows more about dieting

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Speaker 1: and what causes farting than I do, probably because she

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Speaker 1: has all these issues and she has to eat very clean. So, Jenny,

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Speaker 1: what do you have to say about the fart? On

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Speaker 1: the subject of farting, I think I would say that

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Speaker 1: I agree maybe he should leave the room if it's

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Speaker 1: bothering you, if it's starting to become like an issue

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Speaker 1: in the relationship. But I would also ask what he's

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Speaker 1: being fed making him part all the time. I feel

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Speaker 1: like that he could do some simple changes, maybe some

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00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:59,040
Speaker 1: food combining, which basically food combining. It's like you don't

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Speaker 1: eat your mains and your meats together. So you have

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Speaker 1: a grain and you want to do star cheat vegetables

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Speaker 1: with that, fine, so have that you have to wait

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Speaker 1: three or four hours. Then if you're going to introduce

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00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,919
Speaker 1: an animal protein or have the animal protein, but you

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00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,680
Speaker 1: can't choose something from every category and have it at once.

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Speaker 1: That's just creating a terrible situation for you. Also, like

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Speaker 1: if you're eating dairy, you might be lactose and tolerant

394
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 1: without knowing it. You might be allergic to gluten, you

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Speaker 1: might have all these food allergies. So a go get

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Speaker 1: his food allergies tested, so you could just eliminate Sometimes

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00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,920
Speaker 1: it just takes eliminating one thing and you don't even

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00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 1: have to eliminate it forever. Sometimes you can reintroduce it

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Speaker 1: after the fact. And the other thing is, I don't

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00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,159
Speaker 1: know what you want to do about him farting and

401
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 1: leaving the room. I mean, the whole farting thing seems

402
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 1: like a real bummer, So I would immediately get to

403
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Speaker 1: the root of the problem rather than worrying about if

404
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 1: he should leave the room or not. And if he's

405
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Speaker 1: farting while he's sleeping, what's he gonna get up in

406
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Speaker 1: the middle of the night and walk out? And then

407
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 1: I mean that doesn't make any sense either. That actually

408
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,440
Speaker 1: think it's enjoying the farting because I think Jason really

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Speaker 1: Relish is a good fart. He wants to create a

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00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 1: scene with it. He likes the drama that comes with Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I mean, what was her name? What was our Kristen? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So get to the root of the matter. Otherwise you're

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Speaker 1: just putting a band aid on it and it's not

414
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,280
Speaker 1: going to be gone anyway, whether he leaves the room

415
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Speaker 1: or not. Just find out what the problem is. Because

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00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: farting is gross. You don't want to be doing that

417
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Speaker 1: on the constant. It takes away from the special moments

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Speaker 1: and that Jenny's talking about with Jason, like when you

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Speaker 1: have it and he's starting in the other room r

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Speaker 1: right now. But when you have it happened once in

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00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 1: a while, it's more of an event than you know,

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00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,880
Speaker 1: a recurrence, right, it can be a special moment. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think the food issue is really not where I

424
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,960
Speaker 1: expected this to go. But my youngest son, we go

425
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 1: to restaurants. Then I had to tell him. I said,

426
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 1: you can't scream. I farted out loud, and so now

427
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 1: he goes, mommy, but I'm not gonna say, I thought,

428
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:57,560
Speaker 1: my god, he doesn't quite understand. But yeah, there is

429
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:03,480
Speaker 1: an announcement in my house I live within. Yes, it's

430
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 1: a whole entertain anything in your house. Yes, Well, Kristen,

431
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,840
Speaker 1: have his allergies checked and get back to us. Let

432
00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,920
Speaker 1: us know how it goes for you. Yeah, or don't

433
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:18,639
Speaker 1: get back to us right well. Our next email comes

434
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:22,639
Speaker 1: from Jessica. She is in Australia, so she's on an

435
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 1: even later time zone than you are, Jenny. She says,

436
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, years ago, when I was seventeen, I dumped

437
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 1: my girlfriend of a year, and then one month later

438
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:37,680
Speaker 1: she started dating my mom, fucking lesbians. Two years later

439
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:42,400
Speaker 1: they got married, and then shortly after divorced. Surprise, surprise

440
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 1: and special. Oh my god, Yeah that would that's like Meady,

441
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:51,119
Speaker 1: I'd be writing all about that. Yes, that's the short version.

442
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 1: The result of this is I really struggle to open

443
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:56,160
Speaker 1: up to people about it without talking about as a joke.

444
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 1: This has obviously created a lot of tension towards my

445
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 1: mom and has kept me from being as close to

446
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 1: my family as I like to be, even though we

447
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 1: now joke about the whole situation. I'm a writer and

448
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:09,639
Speaker 1: a poet, and I'm in university to hopefully publish a

449
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 1: poetry book. I'm nervous, but no, I can be successful

450
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,239
Speaker 1: if I open up. I'm currently working on writing a

451
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,840
Speaker 1: one woman show. How do I share my truest realist

452
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 1: writing with the world without being terrified of the repercussions

453
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: and alienating my entire family? Jessica, Hi, Jessica. Hello. This

454
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: is Jenny. Jenny's our special guest today, and this is Catherine. Hello.

455
00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:37,400
Speaker 1: How are you good? How are you? I'm good? Thank

456
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:41,399
Speaker 1: you well. Jenny has written about some very personal situations,

457
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 1: so I thought that she would be great to help

458
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 1: us with this issue. Yeah, so you are contemplating basically

459
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 1: telling your story, which is totally your right, right right

460
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,600
Speaker 1: it is. I mean, my boyfriend's dealing with this. I've

461
00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 1: done this, and Jenny's done this and much and in

462
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: all different sorts of ways. But I think the bottom

463
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 1: line is that everyone has a right to tell their

464
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 1: version of their story. Jenny, why don't you take it

465
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: from here? Yes? I agree. I feel like if your

466
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,679
Speaker 1: mom and no offense to your mom, but if that

467
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:17,640
Speaker 1: she felt comfortable enough to be with your ex girlfriend

468
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:22,199
Speaker 1: and marry her, then she deserves you do. Can't think

469
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,160
Speaker 1: about her work, but I think she kind of deserves

470
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,560
Speaker 1: you to be open and honest with your story, and

471
00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:28,360
Speaker 1: you have a right to tell your truth and your

472
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 1: side of things. I mean, you know, my parents definitely

473
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,840
Speaker 1: didn't love hearing all of the things I had to

474
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 1: say about my childhood, but on some level, because they're

475
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,200
Speaker 1: both kind of narcissists, they were thrilled. My mom now

476
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 1: when she meets people should be like, I don't believe

477
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 1: everything you hear. She like loves it. She loves that.

478
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,919
Speaker 1: She comes off like this crazy, fun, eccentric person that

479
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: you'd love to have a dinner party. And it's never

480
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 1: as bad as you think. I feel like, when you're

481
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: writing the book, you always think, oh, fuck, these people

482
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 1: are going to kill me. Everybody's gonna hate me. I'm

483
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,159
Speaker 1: gonna alienate this person and this person. But once it's

484
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 1: in the world, it's funny. It doesn't ever have the

485
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: impact you really think and you and I think you

486
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 1: should just kind of embrace it as being your truth.

487
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 1: As long as you're self deprecating and really get into

488
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,199
Speaker 1: your feelings on the subject, you have every right too.

489
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 1: And I think that your family should be proud of

490
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 1: you for taking that jump and risk. Well, thank you.

491
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,959
Speaker 1: My mom is like classically a narcissist, so she'll love it.

492
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 1: She'll be trust me. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like

493
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,240
Speaker 1: she doesn't really pay attention to anything I do unless

494
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 1: she can brag about it, so she'll love it. You

495
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: have a book. Any closer than that, she's going to

496
00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 1: be psyched. My daughter has a book, that's it. Okay,

497
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: Well that makes me feel a little bit better. Yeah,

498
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,280
Speaker 1: But on a more, on a more, this really has

499
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: nothing to do with anything I'm about to say. But

500
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 1: on a more personal how just out of curiosity, how

501
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:55,239
Speaker 1: long were you dating this woman? When you dated her, so,

502
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 1: I was like sixteen to seventeen, and she was about

503
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: seven years older than me looking back, is obviously gross. Yeah,

504
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,280
Speaker 1: and then my mom was eleven years older than her,

505
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's gross. It's all gross. It's so gross.

506
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 1: Are you do you hang out with them? You know

507
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:16,239
Speaker 1: they're divorced now surprised. Oh yeah, that's a good thing

508
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 1: to mention. Yeah, for any other mothers out there who

509
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: are listening to this thinking about hitting on their daughter's

510
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 1: ex girlfriends, please do not. People are so fucked up.

511
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 1: It's so fucked up. So yeah, that's kind of they've

512
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 1: broken up, and we were really close for a little while,

513
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,360
Speaker 1: but then I stopped giving her what she needed, which

514
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,359
Speaker 1: was some healing from her divorce. But I never got

515
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 1: that back from her for what happened with everything. Has

516
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:50,080
Speaker 1: she never apologized or said she regretted it. No, not one.

517
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 1: They're still friends, I think. And when they were together,

518
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,000
Speaker 1: you did you spend time with them? Yeah, we did.

519
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 1: Because my sister had a baby yesterday, so I have

520
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,760
Speaker 1: to go and see my mom to are Oh, i'd

521
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:05,919
Speaker 1: take congratulations, but I guess yeah, But that's kind of

522
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 1: the main reason I paper relationship with her is obviously

523
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: for my siblings and my nieces and nephews. So well,

524
00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 1: that's big of you. Yeah, yeah, I think you have

525
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 1: to get into the relationship with your mom. I mean

526
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 1: that seems like a bigger story than even just this woman.

527
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:21,199
Speaker 1: I think that you could fill a whole book just

528
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 1: with stories, probably with her, And I think that you're

529
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: going to help a lot of people. I think that

530
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 1: when people you know, that is such a common dynamic,

531
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:34,199
Speaker 1: not necessarily stealing somebody's person and marrying them, although I

532
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 1: do know somebody has a baby with one of their

533
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: kids ex boyfriends girlfriends. But I think that I think

534
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 1: it's a story that needs to be told, and I

535
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 1: think it will feel really cathartic for you to just

536
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: get it on paper. Yeah, that's what I'm hoping. I

537
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 1: just want to like get She's never going to give

538
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 1: you what you want. I hate to tell you this,

539
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 1: like I'm still waiting for my parents approval. You have

540
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,880
Speaker 1: to write it. Okay. That makes me feel a lot better.

541
00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 1: Thank you and waited for you. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm

542
00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:04,639
Speaker 1: just like, I'm just scared. But my my siblings know

543
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 1: what she's like, and like everyone kind of knows, like

544
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,880
Speaker 1: everyone knows what the situation is, but everyone's just really

545
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 1: nice to each other. So no, it will set you free.

546
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 1: I think you have to do it, Okay, I hope.

547
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,680
Speaker 1: So thank you. Did you say you wanted to put

548
00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 1: this up as a one woman show too, or as

549
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 1: a Yeah, I'm hoping to make it a pretty show.

550
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,720
Speaker 1: Yeah that's a good idea too. Yeah. I think it'll

551
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,920
Speaker 1: be great for you. And everyone's telling their story. That's

552
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,919
Speaker 1: what everyone's doing as an artist. So it's your story.

553
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 1: You have every right to it. It happened to you.

554
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: You were like essential character in the story. So yeah,

555
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 1: it's gonna be awesome for you to do that and

556
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,880
Speaker 1: experience it and all your siblings are probably gonna just

557
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 1: love seeing it put up like that, you know, like, oh,

558
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 1: we finally, this is what we all experienced and someone

559
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,400
Speaker 1: has the guts to do it and say it. Oh

560
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: my god, thank you so much. I feel so validated.

561
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: Well great, well, good luck. Let us know what happens.

562
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 1: Keep us posted. I will do. Thank you so much, sealthy. Yeah,

563
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 1: thank you here, Jessica, whoopsie doodle, that is a fucked

564
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 1: up situation. I mean, I suppose you would have to

565
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 1: be a narcissist to funk your daughter's girlfriend. And also

566
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 1: that relationship was illegal. I'm like, yeah, what's the age

567
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:27,840
Speaker 1: of consent? I also had an illegal relationship when I

568
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 1: was younger, underage, But at the time, you know, I

569
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 1: thought at the time, you just think like, oh, this

570
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 1: older guy, like they're interested in me, and then later

571
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 1: you're like, wow, that was so gross. But even me,

572
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 1: just what's wrong with that guy? You're like, you can

573
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 1: only impress somebody with seventeen a little looser. I know,

574
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 1: nobody's only even give him the time of day. I'm

575
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 1: sure that's why. No. I definitely would feel responsible for

576
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,800
Speaker 1: my relationship with an older man because I definitely I

577
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 1: know that no man has any right to be around

578
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,680
Speaker 1: a girl that's under eighteen years old. Now, at that time,

579
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:02,720
Speaker 1: I believe I said used him. I convinced him. I

580
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 1: convinced him to be with me. I convinced him even

581
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: though he had reservations about my age. I was like, no, no,

582
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 1: you don't understand, like I made this guy have a

583
00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 1: relationship with me and he had no chance to not help.

584
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: So I don't want to lay the blame where it's undo.

585
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 1: But yeah, now we know that men aren't even allowed

586
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,640
Speaker 1: to think about that. And then when you think about it,

587
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 1: you're like, yeah, what are you thinking? It doesn't matter

588
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 1: how mature or cool you are. But on the subject though,

589
00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:34,000
Speaker 1: because this comes up a lot talking about our stories

590
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 1: and how you shroud certain people, because it's like you

591
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: have your right to your own family. I mean they

592
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 1: can sue you potentially if you disclose their information without

593
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 1: them signing something and using their real names. Yes, they

594
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 1: can sue you. Because the my second book, I started

595
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 1: off saying, you know, all the people's names have been changed,

596
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,520
Speaker 1: characters blah blah blah, except my mom. Her name's Peggy.

597
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 1: I don't know what the English I didn't want to

598
00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 1: sue you. Well, no, your mom's not gonna sue you, though,

599
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: Like I mean, are you probably had her sign something

600
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:10,000
Speaker 1: You're I'm sure you did. Maybe you should send her

601
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 1: a text right now, be like I need you to

602
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: sign this. Send her what's that thing I released? You know,

603
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 1: what's one of those forms that you that you can

604
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 1: sign digitally? Now that the docus I gotta fucking doctors

605
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 1: sign it, just go quickly, or a video recording saying

606
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 1: I give you the right and the right and allowance

607
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 1: to use my name and likeness in your book and

608
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 1: just put it on. Yeah, that's funny because in my

609
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,240
Speaker 1: first books, like I gave my brothers and sisters different names,

610
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 1: and then it was like why was I doing that?

611
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 1: Because it's so easy to find out what their names are.

612
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,000
Speaker 1: So for like the second book on I just started

613
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 1: using their real names. And no, I love that about

614
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 1: your books, saying the names literally just change. And she's like, oh,

615
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: I'm too lazy. I'm like, let me just tell you

616
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: their real names. It's not like it's a secret. It's

617
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,600
Speaker 1: so easy to look up and half the time I'm

618
00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: doing things with them. So ye, but I do know

619
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 1: when you're talking about someone, or you're telling a real

620
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 1: story about someone, especially if they're of note, you have

621
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 1: to change their name, likeness, occupation, all of the things

622
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: that could connect a stranger to who they are. Yes, yes, yes,

623
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: which is totally reasonable. Reasonable. We are going to take

624
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 1: a quick break so you can hear and add and

625
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 1: then we'll be right back. Our next question comes from Liza.

626
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 1: She's thirty eight living in New York and she's a photographer.

627
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, I spent most of my mid twenties to

628
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:40,720
Speaker 1: mid thirties building a photography career that I became very

629
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 1: proud of. I was in l A for ten years,

630
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 1: where I met my husband, and by the end of

631
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 1: my time there, I was shooting for clients like Betsy

632
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: Johnson and l Magazine. Given that I was always the

633
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,800
Speaker 1: kid with no direction growing up, I was beyond proud

634
00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 1: of myself. We left l A and twenty nineteen for

635
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: New York because my husband got a job, and while

636
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 1: it seems like the transition would be an easy one

637
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 1: from one big city to the next, my photography career

638
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 1: plummeted once COVID hit. We landed in the Hudson Valley,

639
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 1: a place I love, but also a place where I

640
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: feel more lost than ever. The career I had in

641
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 1: l A is realistically not feasible where I am, unless

642
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 1: I want to spend lots of time traveling, which no

643
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 1: longer sounds ideal. So my question for you is what

644
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 1: advice do you have for someone who found their passion

645
00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 1: and once thrived in their life, but now lives a

646
00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:31,040
Speaker 1: completely different lifestyle without a clue as to where to

647
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 1: pivot next. I'm okay with a career shift, but I

648
00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 1: don't know where to begin or what I'd even do,

649
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 1: and I definitely don't have the hustle energy I had

650
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 1: in my twenties. Any advice would be so helpful. Lisa, Hi, Liza, Hi, Hi,

651
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 1: how are you? This is Jenny, our guest today, and

652
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: this is Catherine, who you've met. I'm assuming Hi. Hello.

653
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 1: So you're in the Hudson Valley, yes, And there's no

654
00:33:56,640 --> 00:34:00,520
Speaker 1: opportunity there for you to apply your photography there to

655
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 1: do anything with it. I mean, it's not like I'm

656
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 1: sure they do shoots up here for all sorts of things.

657
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 1: I just don't have the connections that I have in

658
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 1: l A. And I'm I'm just just still kind of

659
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: stuck because I'm up here, like my husband's working and

660
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:17,560
Speaker 1: I'm just sort of sitting here at a computer every day,

661
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 1: And what were you shooting? What kind of photography were

662
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:24,080
Speaker 1: you doing? So I was working a lot with modeling agencies,

663
00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:30,319
Speaker 1: doing advertising, editorial look books for fashion brands. Yeah, I

664
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 1: mean I feel like you can still do all of

665
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 1: that there. I mean you're not that far from New

666
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 1: York City. I mean that's not an unreasonable commute. It's

667
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 1: not like flying to Los Angeles. You just have to

668
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 1: do networking on that end. I mean, they are doing

669
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,520
Speaker 1: shoots in Hudson Valley all the time. Although I mean

670
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 1: you see that in Magazine's Town and Country. You see

671
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 1: it with people's homes up there. Architectural Digest does stuff

672
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: up there. I mean there's room for you to maneuver

673
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 1: and like figure out some kind of line of communication

674
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 1: for opportunities that are coming up there to shoot, and

675
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 1: also take advantage of the fact that you're so close

676
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 1: to New York City. I don't think you have to

677
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: change careers. Yeah, I mean it was tough when I

678
00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,880
Speaker 1: moved because I like so my work in l A

679
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:14,520
Speaker 1: was so it's sort of carved down a niche for

680
00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 1: myself where everything was like blue skies and palm trees,

681
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:19,960
Speaker 1: and that's what I shot, like, I shot outdoor sunshine.

682
00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:23,319
Speaker 1: I wasn't like a studio photographer. So when I came

683
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 1: to New York, I think I was just sort of

684
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 1: blissfully naive, thinking that things would carry over. And we

685
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 1: moved in the dead of winter, and I was like, oh, ship, Like,

686
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 1: I can't do what I did in l A in

687
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 1: New York. And I mean, like, you're completely right about

688
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: the networking thing. I'm just really bad at that. And

689
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 1: I feel like I spent thirteen years doing it in

690
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:43,600
Speaker 1: l A that I'm just tied, like I had all

691
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 1: my connections there. Yeah, but I think you need to

692
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 1: just get good at it. These are all excuses. You

693
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,840
Speaker 1: can do all of these things. You just don't feel

694
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 1: like doing it. And just because Hudson Valley looks the

695
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: way it does in the winter, doesn't look like that

696
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 1: in the summer or the spring or the fall. It's

697
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 1: like a complete opposite of what you were shooting in

698
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: l A. It's rustic, it's woods, it's greenery, it's more beautiful,

699
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:07,520
Speaker 1: I would argue, So you can create all of these opportunities.

700
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: I understand what you mean about not having the ambition

701
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:12,320
Speaker 1: you did when you were twenties. I can completely relate

702
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 1: to that. But there's times to hustle, and this is

703
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 1: one of them, and so thinking about changing career seems

704
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:22,839
Speaker 1: like a lot bigger burden than just hustling for like

705
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 1: a good six months and making the connections you need

706
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 1: to make to sustain a career that can then last

707
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:31,920
Speaker 1: twenty plus years. Right now, that's a very point. Do

708
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 1: you still have the passion for photography that you did?

709
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 1: I do, but I like there is a part of

710
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 1: me that wonders if the hustle isn't in me, then

711
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,840
Speaker 1: maybe that says it all. And that's what sort of

712
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:43,840
Speaker 1: scares me too, because I'm like, well, maybe I'm ready

713
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 1: for a shift, but I have no idea what that

714
00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 1: shift would be because I've basically gotten good at something

715
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,279
Speaker 1: for ten years, and before that I was in the

716
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 1: service industry, and the skills that I have are very specific. Jenny,

717
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 1: what do you think? Well, I think that there are

718
00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 1: either twos. One if you think that it might not

719
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 1: be what's right for you and maybe this is what

720
00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,799
Speaker 1: you should do regardless. Is I think that you need

721
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 1: to take the time and not guilt yourself about needing

722
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 1: to throw yourself into a career. Again, I think I'm

723
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 1: very competitive with my husband, so like I understand when

724
00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 1: your husband's working, you're like, I'm sitting here at home,

725
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,719
Speaker 1: I'm not doing anything, and you start to spin and

726
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:21,879
Speaker 1: then you start to shame yourself and you just get

727
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:25,319
Speaker 1: into this like negative headspace. I think you need to

728
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,800
Speaker 1: rewrite that narrative for yourself and say, I'm giving myself

729
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: time because I don't want to jump into a career

730
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,440
Speaker 1: if I'm already burnt out on it. Like, what is

731
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 1: the point of even starting something up if I'm not

732
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,880
Speaker 1: going to find joy from it. So I think you

733
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 1: need to say, allow yourself the time to really sit

734
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,839
Speaker 1: there and decide is this what I want to do next,

735
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:45,600
Speaker 1: and explore some other options before you make a move

736
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 1: in any direction. And if it is self photography, I

737
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 1: think your best bet. And this is like antithetical to

738
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 1: what my book is about, but I think you need

739
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 1: to get online. I think you need to start shooting

740
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 1: outside and I think you need to start posting on

741
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:03,720
Speaker 1: to talk and Instagram and show people what you can do.

742
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:07,240
Speaker 1: I think that is so so I hate networking in person.

743
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,560
Speaker 1: I much prefer just like you know, posting something and

744
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 1: waiting to see who sees it. It's so much easier

745
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 1: than going out and having a billion drinks with somebody

746
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 1: or a billion different people and trying to just like

747
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:22,040
Speaker 1: get in and and social climate or whatever you have

748
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: to do. All that bullshit drives me crazy. So I

749
00:38:25,280 --> 00:38:27,360
Speaker 1: let your work speak for itself if that is what

750
00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 1: you want to do, but first give yourself the time

751
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 1: to really marinate and think about what is the next

752
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 1: step for me? What what do the next ten years

753
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 1: of my life look like? Yeah, you're allowed that you've hustled,

754
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 1: you worked your ass off. Yeah, And I think that's

755
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:42,839
Speaker 1: a good point that networking post covid looks a little

756
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 1: bit different than it did pretty covid, where it's just

757
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:46,880
Speaker 1: like go to parties, go to parties, put in FaceTime

758
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,759
Speaker 1: all this garbage, and like now it's very different. It's

759
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 1: it's online and agree Instagram and TikTok. I feel like

760
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 1: Instagram sort of punishes new creators, but go on TikTok

761
00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: obviously for photography it's a little bit different, but people

762
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 1: will come to you. Basically, you can shoot there like

763
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 1: all over you. Yeah, especially all these like fashion influencers.

764
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 1: They're like, would you like some more experience for your book?

765
00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,360
Speaker 1: And maybe you're thinking not really, bench why don't you

766
00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,799
Speaker 1: pay me? But you know, maybe you do want to

767
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 1: just have that person make an appearance and repost you

768
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 1: sometimes that you know it gets more work. And also

769
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 1: in terms of networking, it's like just also reaching out

770
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 1: with the to the context that you do have from

771
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:27,120
Speaker 1: all of your experience thus far, whether it's in l

772
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 1: A or not. People are always working in New York

773
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 1: and London, in l A, in Paris, so like just

774
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,880
Speaker 1: reminding people, oh, hey, I moved to Hudson Valley. If

775
00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 1: anything comes across you, just keep those conversations going because

776
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 1: you never know what's going to drop into your lap

777
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:44,320
Speaker 1: that way, and just by applying any sort of hustle

778
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,680
Speaker 1: to any situation, you're going to find out what you're

779
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:50,360
Speaker 1: gonna want to do if it isn't photography. Yeah, yeah,

780
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,960
Speaker 1: I think that's a very good point. Anything creative that

781
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,600
Speaker 1: you can do, even if it feels sort of disjointed

782
00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:59,279
Speaker 1: from what you've done in the past, is going to

783
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 1: get those creat of juice is flowing. I mean That's

784
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,799
Speaker 1: really why I landed in podcasting, because I was like

785
00:40:05,160 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 1: dipping my toe in this water. I was writing, I

786
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 1: was doing voice over, I was doing all these different

787
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 1: random things, and then I started my first podcast, and

788
00:40:13,040 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 1: that's sort of like the it's snowballed and I found

789
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 1: myself being so creatively fulfilled by it that, you know,

790
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 1: some of the other things that I had been really

791
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 1: passionate about before fell away, but I was able to

792
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 1: use the skills I learned doing them in podcasting. Right,

793
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 1: that's a really good point. Yeah, it finds you. I

794
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: think if you put that energy out there, it finds you. Yeah.

795
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 1: And I've connected with actually people downstairs that we're doing

796
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:42,400
Speaker 1: a creative shoot today. Amazing actually have a job right

797
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 1: now because I'm not actually working as a photographer right now.

798
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 1: So I don't even know what this call is about. No,

799
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 1: it's just it's a creative shoot, but like just to meet,

800
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 1: Like I've connected with them randomly online, their makeup artists here,

801
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 1: and they seem amazing. The model came up from New York,

802
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,560
Speaker 1: so shall see. Thank you, because I mean thank you

803
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,399
Speaker 1: to all of you. But like I do feel like

804
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 1: sometimes it's it's difficult when you're just like sitting by yourself,

805
00:41:07,080 --> 00:41:10,160
Speaker 1: and like you said, you get in your head. Yeah,

806
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 1: I've been where I'm just like sitting and like I

807
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 1: want to create and I want to do stuff and

808
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:16,200
Speaker 1: I really want to work. I just don't, you know,

809
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:17,839
Speaker 1: I just don't know what to do. It's like there's

810
00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 1: so many options that I just don't Yeah, but you

811
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,680
Speaker 1: do know, Just start with the first thing, you know,

812
00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:26,239
Speaker 1: start with the Instagram, the TikTok. If that seems too big,

813
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 1: send a couple of emails to people you've worked with

814
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:31,839
Speaker 1: to just say where you're moving and be proactive, don't

815
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 1: be defeatist. That energy turns into negativity and then you're

816
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 1: just sitting there for having a pitty party for yourself,

817
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,719
Speaker 1: which is how you entered this call. So get your

818
00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:43,879
Speaker 1: ship together and go get us a good update and

819
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 1: follow back up with us and give us some good news. Please.

820
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 1: I needed that. Thank you, Okay, see you later, Thanks

821
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:56,239
Speaker 1: for calling. Sky. I had a mentor who told you

822
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: to go get your ship together. Basically she was like,

823
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 1: moved a coast. You don't belong in Chicago. The creatives, yes,

824
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 1: but no, she called it. And especially for for Liza,

825
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: who says she had no direction growing up, and obviously

826
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:15,960
Speaker 1: she's a creative. But this mentor, Debbie Phillips called it

827
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:19,799
Speaker 1: stomping your perimeter. What that means is like all these

828
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:24,840
Speaker 1: random jobs or experiences in your life eventually go into

829
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 1: what becomes your dream job, and they all get used,

830
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 1: they all get used, and then eventually, you know, you

831
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,280
Speaker 1: might have a new dream job that uses your skills

832
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 1: you you got from your first dream job. But she'll

833
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: get there. She just needs to keep those juices flowing. Yes, yeah,

834
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 1: but I know that feeling where you're just like, oh

835
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:49,040
Speaker 1: my god, it's it feels like this just like insurmountable thing. Yeah.

836
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 1: And also just spending that kind of time alone, what

837
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 1: that does to your psyche. Like you could just tell

838
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,879
Speaker 1: by her whole demeanor that she's just been alone too long.

839
00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,120
Speaker 1: She's just in her head and like, uh, because that

840
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 1: feeling sucks. You know, that's when you really need an adderall.

841
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,759
Speaker 1: But we can't prescribe medication because we're not doctors, and

842
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,200
Speaker 1: adderall it's not something that I would prescribe if I

843
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 1: were a doctor, even though I've had some good times

844
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:19,480
Speaker 1: on adderall. Well. Our next question comes from Jess Jess says,

845
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,600
Speaker 1: you're Chelsea. I'm about to turn thirty seven and have

846
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:26,320
Speaker 1: been married for two years. After suffering two miscarriages and

847
00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 1: nine months we decided to try IVF. It's been a

848
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,880
Speaker 1: brutal past two months. To put it lightly. The reason

849
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 1: I'm writing this is that this whole pregnancy, loss and

850
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 1: infertility process has given me zero interest in sex. I

851
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 1: jokingly refer to myself as a laborate these days. With

852
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:46,920
Speaker 1: all the doctor's appointments, tests, surgeries, shots, et cetera. Lately

853
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:49,840
Speaker 1: I view my body in a strictly medical fashion. I

854
00:43:49,840 --> 00:43:53,880
Speaker 1: don't feel sexy or desire any pleasure physically. We probably

855
00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 1: have sex about once a month. My husband has been

856
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:58,479
Speaker 1: wonderful about it, but it can't help but to feel

857
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:01,680
Speaker 1: terribly guilty, like I'm failing him as a wife. I

858
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 1: know sex is such an important component to marriage, and

859
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,280
Speaker 1: I don't want to deprive my husband, especially so early

860
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 1: on into marriage. While I'm super attracted to my husband

861
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,880
Speaker 1: and love him to death, I just have no desire

862
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 1: these days. So I guess my question is should I

863
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,520
Speaker 1: put in more of an effort and just do it,

864
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 1: or is it okay to take this time during this

865
00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 1: difficult journey to use my body how I feel most comfortable,

866
00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 1: which is not having sex. Thanks Jess, Jenny, you didn't

867
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 1: have to do in vitro. Right, No, I wouldn't have

868
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:32,239
Speaker 1: probably had kids because I think that Jason would have

869
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,880
Speaker 1: done in vitro. He was desperate to have children. His

870
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 1: biological clock was drinking and we needed to like have

871
00:44:37,880 --> 00:44:41,839
Speaker 1: a baby to make him happy. And and I'm so

872
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 1: glad we did. But he really had to force me

873
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:46,480
Speaker 1: off that ledge. Like I was white knuckling it to

874
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 1: the bitter end. I was just so afraid to be

875
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 1: a mom. But no, we didn't do i v F.

876
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:53,719
Speaker 1: But I know a lot of friends that have been

877
00:44:53,760 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 1: through it, and it's brutal. It's just like, oh my god,

878
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 1: emotional journey is insane. And the thing is it's not permanent,

879
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,280
Speaker 1: but it is annoying. But it's like that's how people

880
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 1: feel when they do IVF. Overwhelmingly, that's the consensus that

881
00:45:08,760 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 1: you don't want to have sex. So I think that

882
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,759
Speaker 1: is your right to not want to have sex during

883
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:16,000
Speaker 1: this time. And to explain that, I think you said

884
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:19,640
Speaker 1: it nicely, like using your body for the purposes of

885
00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 1: getting pregnant and getting healthy and having a successful pregnancy.

886
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 1: Could you try more? I mean that's up to you,

887
00:45:27,239 --> 00:45:29,839
Speaker 1: like if you want to, yeah, sure, but you don't

888
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 1: have to, and just remind yourself like it's not going

889
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 1: to be like this. It does take a tole on

890
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:38,359
Speaker 1: the marriage because men need to fuck their moody, and

891
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 1: that is what helps their mood. Unfortunately, it's as basic

892
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:44,320
Speaker 1: as that. Is that true, guys, then I should be

893
00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:47,360
Speaker 1: having more sex too, because I don't even put enough now.

894
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 1: I think that men really appreciate having sex like it

895
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 1: helps that. I think it helps them calm down. Do

896
00:45:54,080 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 1: you think it to calm down? Do I need to

897
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,439
Speaker 1: be having more sex with you? Because like she's saying, word,

898
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 1: I be up. I'm still having sex one once a

899
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,319
Speaker 1: month that I'm thinking that's fucking great. It sounds like

900
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,480
Speaker 1: a lot. No, Jenny, once a month is not good

901
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:10,200
Speaker 1: if you're not going through I V for Jason. Am

902
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:13,759
Speaker 1: I gonna have to Jason again? Yes? And I think

903
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:16,839
Speaker 1: it's okay. Let me talk to Joe about that. Joe,

904
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 1: but like he is sort of interfering with that. Little

905
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:22,879
Speaker 1: Joe requires a hundred of my time. But anyway, back

906
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 1: to the person who actually called in for some serious advice.

907
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:28,759
Speaker 1: That's my advice is everything I just said, you know,

908
00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:31,399
Speaker 1: absolutely take this time. If that's what you need, then

909
00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 1: that is your right. Yes, and I think that you

910
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,359
Speaker 1: should be having less sex because I think you're going

911
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,200
Speaker 1: through a lot. You don't even need to put out

912
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:41,399
Speaker 1: once a month. Yeah, and like there are other things

913
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:43,680
Speaker 1: you can do to satisfy his needs without him having

914
00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 1: to get all up in your space, watch some porn exactly,

915
00:46:47,239 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 1: or like helping you know, give him a hand whatever

916
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:54,959
Speaker 1: else a fucking child. Yes, I find a hand job

917
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 1: to be even sillier than a blow and Harry, it's

918
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:02,919
Speaker 1: almost just like you're just jerking someone off. It's there's

919
00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:09,240
Speaker 1: something very I don't think I've ever given a hand happen.

920
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:11,440
Speaker 1: I know, like that just seems like a long way

921
00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 1: to go. Like there's so many more effective ways to

922
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 1: make that happen, Like a hand job. Who has time

923
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: for that? It's so silly. You can just read a

924
00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 1: book while you're doing Yeah it is. Yeah, anyway, so

925
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 1: whatever you do, don't give a hand job. That's the

926
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:38,319
Speaker 1: title of this episode. Yes, well, Jess, let us know

927
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 1: how it goes. And also like get yourself a massage.

928
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:42,759
Speaker 1: From someone who's not trying to have sex with you,

929
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,240
Speaker 1: so you can like feel good about your body. Yeah,

930
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:48,359
Speaker 1: good good, That good one, Catherine. So our last little

931
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:52,560
Speaker 1: question here, and this is a quickie, is Dear Chelsea. First,

932
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:55,479
Speaker 1: I want to say you are amazing. I'm a huge

933
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: fan and really appreciate all that you do. I just

934
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:01,839
Speaker 1: wanted to ask for book recommendations. I know you're an

935
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:03,840
Speaker 1: avid reader and was just wondering if you knew of

936
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:06,800
Speaker 1: any good reads for shifting one's mindset to more positive

937
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 1: thoughts and gaining self confidence. Also, if you have any

938
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:13,360
Speaker 1: recommendations on fiction books or a series you really like,

939
00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:19,280
Speaker 1: I would definitely appreciate it. Thanks Chelsea from Virginia. Oh,

940
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 1: I'm reading this book Between Two Kingdoms. But it's not

941
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 1: necessarily upbeat, but it does it will make you grateful

942
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 1: for your own life and existence because this is a

943
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,960
Speaker 1: story about a woman who gets diagnosed with this blood

944
00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:36,240
Speaker 1: cancer when she's twenty two and then everything that happens after,

945
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:40,160
Speaker 1: and it's it's brutal, like in terms of what you

946
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,040
Speaker 1: could you realize that the human body can endure. But

947
00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:46,320
Speaker 1: it's really also really well written. Till Between Two Kingdoms,

948
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:48,799
Speaker 1: it's a great book. It actually really I read it

949
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 1: this weekend and I came away feeling very grateful and optimistic.

950
00:48:52,239 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 1: So that's a good way to make yourself feel good

951
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,279
Speaker 1: and grateful for all the things that you have and

952
00:48:57,320 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 1: don't have to experience. And it's an eye opener. But

953
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:03,160
Speaker 1: in terms of what's a good fiction book, I always

954
00:49:03,200 --> 00:49:07,759
Speaker 1: recommend Cercy That by Madeline Miller. That's a good fictional

955
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 1: book and that takes you to another place and it's

956
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 1: just like magic Land, and usually I don't like that

957
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 1: kind of ship, but I do love that book. Jenny,

958
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:17,680
Speaker 1: have you read any good fiction lately? I read this

959
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 1: book it's called Mouth to Mouth and it was really fun.

960
00:49:21,800 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 1: I loved it because I don't want to give it away,

961
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 1: but it's these two guys. They meet up in an

962
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:28,120
Speaker 1: airport and they haven't seen each other since they went

963
00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 1: to school together when they were younger, and just the

964
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:34,440
Speaker 1: story that sort of unfolds the ending is killer. I

965
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,359
Speaker 1: just I really loved it. It was a great read,

966
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:41,240
Speaker 1: so different, it just yeah, really captured me. I also

967
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:45,320
Speaker 1: just read the new Rebecca Searl book recently, One Italian Summer,

968
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 1: which is a great summer beach read, and then don't

969
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 1: forget to order City of Likes, which is coming out

970
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,640
Speaker 1: June four, but you can preorder it now on Amazon.

971
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 1: City of Likes by Jenny Mullin. It's better than all

972
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:02,040
Speaker 1: of these books, so to order that. No. And then

973
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,520
Speaker 1: as far as a self help or like a you know,

974
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 1: really working on your self type book, I always come

975
00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 1: back to The Untethered Soul whenever I'm having a panic

976
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 1: attack or I'm feeling scared that something's going awry or

977
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:17,280
Speaker 1: I'm gonna die. I read The Untethered Soul and chapter

978
00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:20,960
Speaker 1: two mind blowing. I I love chapter two of the

979
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 1: bookshets the best chapter, but that's a great one. All right,

980
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 1: Well that's a good list of recommendations. We've talked about

981
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:30,839
Speaker 1: that book before. Yeah, start there. We're going to take

982
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:37,879
Speaker 1: a quick break and we'll be back with Jenny and Chelsea.

983
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:44,560
Speaker 1: And we're back, Jenny, Do you have any advice you'd

984
00:50:44,560 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 1: like to get from Chelsea? Yeah, I'm curious as somebody

985
00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:54,360
Speaker 1: who is touring with comedy, who's out there telling jokes

986
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:59,440
Speaker 1: in this post COVID world, post Trumpian era. I'm afraid

987
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,759
Speaker 1: to be on Twitter these days, and I've really I'm

988
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 1: just so much more self conscious about the things that

989
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 1: I'll joke about publicly. I'm wondering has it changed your comedy,

990
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:14,239
Speaker 1: and like, what are your thoughts on that? What would

991
00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:17,880
Speaker 1: you advise people who are out there running off of

992
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 1: the mouth. I think it's made me sharper and more clever.

993
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 1: Like I think my stand up is stronger than it

994
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 1: ever has been because of the very essence of being

995
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:30,200
Speaker 1: mindful of others, you know what I mean, and not

996
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 1: going for the cheap joke or the easy joke or

997
00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 1: the low hanging fruit. Actually being sharp about what you're

998
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 1: going to talk about and what your point of view

999
00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:41,239
Speaker 1: about it is. Because there's still plenty to make fun

1000
00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 1: of it. All we have to do is not be

1001
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 1: sexist and racist, you know what I mean. That's not

1002
00:51:46,160 --> 00:51:49,640
Speaker 1: at all order, especially for for so many comics. Like

1003
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:53,080
Speaker 1: That's why I keep having these conversations about reviving Chelsea

1004
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 1: Lately into Chelsea Later, because I feel I've seen so

1005
00:51:57,120 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 1: many comics on the road now it's like, this isn't

1006
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:02,279
Speaker 1: a hard time to be funny or be yourself. There's

1007
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,960
Speaker 1: just parameters that have been set that should have been

1008
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,319
Speaker 1: set frankly a long time ago. So I think you're

1009
00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 1: going to enjoy it. It's just it's as a creative

1010
00:52:10,520 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 1: all you ever want to do is have more clarity

1011
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:16,480
Speaker 1: and be sharper. And what about politically do you avoid

1012
00:52:16,640 --> 00:52:19,640
Speaker 1: or do you go straight forward the jugular? Well, with politics,

1013
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,319
Speaker 1: I think I had so much. I didn't do a

1014
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:25,279
Speaker 1: lot of good. I don't think by being so politically

1015
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:28,480
Speaker 1: out there like people, it was very divisive Because of

1016
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 1: my personality, I engage much more on a different decibel,

1017
00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 1: is what I've learned about my own political activism. My

1018
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 1: opinions are of course the same and hopefully you know,

1019
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:41,879
Speaker 1: changing as time goes on all the time. But I

1020
00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 1: wasn't making the kind of traction and the kind of

1021
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:47,799
Speaker 1: things happened that I wanted to. And I realized there's

1022
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:50,879
Speaker 1: a different volume associated with every part of what you do,

1023
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:53,799
Speaker 1: and you can be much more effective if you pay

1024
00:52:53,840 --> 00:52:58,799
Speaker 1: attention to that. Yeah, yeah, And on that upbeat note,

1025
00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:03,200
Speaker 1: I um going to go in the bathroom and finger

1026
00:53:03,239 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 1: blast myself, Chelsea. Is that a hand up? Talk about

1027
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:12,919
Speaker 1: low hanging fruit? Jenny, I love you so much, Thank

1028
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,280
Speaker 1: you so much for being here today. I'm so excited

1029
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 1: for your book. Everybody please grab a copy. City of

1030
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:21,799
Speaker 1: likes and let us know yeah start book clubs and

1031
00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:26,319
Speaker 1: tag us and tag Jenny. That's great, Thank you, thank

1032
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 1: you so much. This was so fun. Tell Jason, I

1033
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:34,640
Speaker 1: said to funk Off. Okay, okay, tell Joe the next

1034
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 1: time we're getting together, the next look we're gonna go

1035
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:39,839
Speaker 1: for is like all Sailor we did, We already did,

1036
00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:42,759
Speaker 1: Army Medic. Next, he had some good stuff from that

1037
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 1: Martha's Vineyard brand. What's it called? With the whale your advice,

1038
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:49,760
Speaker 1: He's got a great how I already have his outfit

1039
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:56,960
Speaker 1: checked out. Yeah, yeah, okay, no problems, okay, thanks. So

1040
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,680
Speaker 1: if you'd like to ask Chelsea a question, email us

1041
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:04,239
Speaker 1: at r Chelsea Project at gmail dot com