1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:05,120 Speaker 1: Okay, welcome to the podcast. It's called Dear Chelsea, and 2 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:09,560 Speaker 1: we are here today to take advice from callers, from writers, 3 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: in from anybody who needs it. I am performing at 4 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:19,599 Speaker 1: the Santa Barbara Bowl on August twenty one. Everybody, It's happening, 5 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: and I'm going on tour tour, on tor tour, on 6 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: tour tour. So I'm very excited because I'm getting ready 7 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: to go shoot a movie in Vancouver in a couple 8 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: of weeks, and I'm also performing in Canada, actually at 9 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:39,560 Speaker 1: edmund in Edmonton, Canada, at the Great Outdoors Comedy Festival 10 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 1: on August fifteen. I will be performing in Edmonton and 11 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,919 Speaker 1: then I go to Santa Barbara and in between then, 12 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:51,239 Speaker 1: I'm playing a principle with great shoes who hates children. 13 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,559 Speaker 1: I can't wait to be on set with children that 14 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: I can openly yes, I can't wait till I have 15 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: to be in a scene where I can just tell 16 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: children exactly what I think of them, you know, But 17 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: I can't say in real life obviously that would be 18 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:09,400 Speaker 1: really inappropriate and probably punishable. But I can say it 19 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: as my character, and I plan on exercising that muscle 20 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,720 Speaker 1: to a great degree. I hope maybe I'll meet a 21 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,399 Speaker 1: lover on this film. That would be exciting. A child 22 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: lover can't say that maybe I'll meet a lover on 23 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,200 Speaker 1: this film. You've done a few movies. You did This 24 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 1: Means War with Reese. My personal favorite, Hop Hop Hop 25 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 1: was great because James Marsden and I laughed so hard 26 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: on the set of Hop. I that's an Easter movie. Yeah, 27 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: he's really cute. James Marsden, Yeah, he's great. And he 28 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,480 Speaker 1: and I we had a day of filming where I 29 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,600 Speaker 1: think I pete in my pants from laughing so hard. 30 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 1: And I don't know what we were laughing at, but 31 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: we could not get it together. And every time we 32 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 1: had to interact, it was a ship show. And we're 33 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,280 Speaker 1: bonded from that ever since that because we just knew 34 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 1: it was like being at summer way camp, sleepaway camp, 35 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: summer camp. I can line summer and sleep away and 36 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: said summary, m Anyway, it was sleepaway camp. It was 37 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:07,560 Speaker 1: like you know when you come back from camp and 38 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,800 Speaker 1: nobody really understands the experience that you had except for 39 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 1: you and the people that were there. It's kind of 40 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,799 Speaker 1: this ineffable understanding. And so I have that with him 41 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: and yeah, this means war was Reese and I did 42 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,639 Speaker 1: that movie that was really fun too. They lowered me. 43 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,080 Speaker 1: I had they had a stunt woman for me because 44 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,760 Speaker 1: there was a big car scene where my car falls 45 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,920 Speaker 1: in this big pond of water that we filmed in 46 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 1: Long Beach, and I told them I wanted to do 47 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 1: my own stunts, but they didn't take me seriously and 48 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,040 Speaker 1: I didn't do my own stunts. And how does it 49 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: work on these sets? Because you've said before that it's 50 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: hard for you to say other people's lines that they 51 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: are writing for you. So are you able to add 52 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:49,679 Speaker 1: lib Do you have some sort of like creative freedom 53 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: when you're doing these Are they very stringent on you 54 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 1: sang the lines as they're written. Well, I don't know 55 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: about this movie I'm going into. I guess i'll find out. 56 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 1: But you know, when you add a little button or 57 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,799 Speaker 1: you change a word around to the time, they don't 58 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,360 Speaker 1: really care unless it's like something that needs to stick to. 59 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 1: If they're sticklers about it, I will, but I'm yeah, 60 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: I'm not very good at that. I like to improv 61 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:09,960 Speaker 1: and just kind of do it off the cuff. But 62 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 1: if you run a scene a couple of times you 63 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 1: kind of memorize it. So you did Will and Grace, 64 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: and they were very specific. Will and Grace was a disaster. 65 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 1: I yes, that is a very tightly run ship. And 66 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 1: I was and I don't know what was wrong with 67 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: me that week. I could not remember my lines. I 68 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 1: was scared and nervous. I went in not caring about 69 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,359 Speaker 1: doing it really like kind of flip it, like oh, 70 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: this will be fun. I didn't really think about it. 71 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: And then I got in and I'm like, wait, wait, 72 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,040 Speaker 1: I'm working with a bunch of pros. I need to 73 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: step it up. And then I was just too late. 74 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: By the time we filmed it, it was great, but 75 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 1: I I mean, I was yelled at. I was They 76 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: were like, what learn your lines? I couldn't hit my jokes. 77 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,680 Speaker 1: It was bad. Luckily, on tape it did come together 78 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: because Deb Messing and Sean Hayes and everyone was so 79 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: nice to me and felt so sorry for me that 80 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: they helped me memorize my lines. When that happens, does 81 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: does it make you want to flex that muscle more? 82 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 1: After you had that experience, some people would shut down 83 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 1: and say I don't want to act anymore. That was 84 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: very unpleasant. But for you, I feel like when that happens, 85 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,839 Speaker 1: your reaction is to be better. Well, oh I needed 86 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:19,599 Speaker 1: and now I need to get another acting role to 87 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 1: prove to myself that I can do this well, not 88 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: as I mean, I was just embarrassed, Like I walked 89 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:26,560 Speaker 1: in like the cool girl and left like the not 90 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,800 Speaker 1: cool girl. It was how it happens. You know, everyone 91 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: is excited for me to be there, and then I 92 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 1: just kind of fell apart of the seams. I must 93 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 1: have been going through a very difficult time at that moment. 94 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 1: I don't remember what was going on, but something must 95 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: have been because I was not myself. But anyway, no, 96 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 1: I was done with that, and I just thought, oh, 97 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: I can't do sitcoms. I can't like hit the marks 98 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 1: like this, like I can't do it. And then I'm like, 99 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: of course I'll do it a sitcom again, if it's 100 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 1: the right thing, or if it's the right role, or 101 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 1: if it's a guest star. You know, I'm not going 102 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 1: to be honest sitcom sitcom. But if it's that, yeah, 103 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 1: I mean, it's just a different beast. But this is 104 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 1: film acting, which is not live, Like you're not in 105 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: front of an audience, so it's a lot different. You're 106 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: in front of a film cruise, so there's a lot 107 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: more intimacy. Well, this role makes sense for you. At 108 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 1: one time, you were offered the role of Aunt Hilda 109 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: or Aunt Zelda on the Netflix Sabrina the Teenage, which 110 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 1: they wanted you to come in for that, and I 111 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,840 Speaker 1: remember reading the script thinking, how would she ever take 112 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,320 Speaker 1: this seriously because it was so far fat. Well, you know, 113 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: it's magic. So anytime you read something like that, you're 114 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 1: like that, you're gonna really have to stretch to make 115 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,359 Speaker 1: this believe. Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to be 116 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,320 Speaker 1: in a movie just to be in a movie, Like, 117 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,720 Speaker 1: I'm not going to just do that, but I am 118 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 1: going to say yes to things that are fun. And 119 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: you know, this idea of being on a movie set 120 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: right now, I haven't been on one in a really 121 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,600 Speaker 1: long time, and it's not my main thing, so it's 122 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,560 Speaker 1: a nice it's nice to kind of be able to 123 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: incorporate that with all the other stuff I do. It's 124 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:52,599 Speaker 1: nice to change it up. So I'm looking forward to it. 125 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 1: And you know, obviously it's shoots in Vancouver, which I've 126 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: said before, which is my favorite place. In the world 127 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 1: is Canada, and I just can't wait to be reunited 128 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,080 Speaker 1: with all of my girlfriends there. It's going to be magical, 129 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,120 Speaker 1: and they're going to have to be on set with 130 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 1: me as my hair, makeup artist, stylist. I don't know 131 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,800 Speaker 1: what other things I can punch them in for, but well, 132 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: it's nicely you have these different creative outlets now, so 133 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 1: you're gonna be acting. You're redoing a house, You're playing 134 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: construction worker, interior designer, wearing multiple hats, wearing multiple hats. 135 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:22,719 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm really a jack of all trades, you 136 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: know what I used to call myself. It's kind of 137 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:29,279 Speaker 1: like David Hasselhoff. He was a lifeguard, he was a musician, 138 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:34,119 Speaker 1: and he was a night writer. He was a triple threat. 139 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 1: I am a lifeguard. Also, I'm not a night writer. 140 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:42,479 Speaker 1: But I have a podcast and and I do stand 141 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,440 Speaker 1: up wait, and I am doing movies. So I'm a 142 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:49,240 Speaker 1: quadruple threat. Wait, and I write books. I'm a quintuple threat. 143 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:51,599 Speaker 1: What else do I do? I don't know, But I 144 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,800 Speaker 1: don't know the next term for six things? Do you? 145 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 1: Let's just stop at five? Well, great, I do think 146 00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,680 Speaker 1: it's a good idea. To stop there because we've got 147 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: some keys your favorite. Excuse my swallowing, Yes, Okay, I'm 148 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: ready for a quickie. Okay, the first quickie is Dear Chelsea, OMG, 149 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: fucking cats. I loved your discussion at the end of 150 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:14,440 Speaker 1: McDonald's Anyone, and had to validate Brandon on his cat issues. 151 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: I'm spending to renovate my basement for the second time 152 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,720 Speaker 1: in four years because I have two cats and one 153 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: will only pe on the base boards, not in the 154 00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 1: litter box. I feel like I've tried every suggestion out 155 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 1: there for it to stop. I feel like I've given 156 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 1: the cats an excellent life, and anyone else would have 157 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 1: given up on this peing cat by now putting it 158 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,680 Speaker 1: down or sending it back to the shelter where it 159 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 1: came from. I think I could bring myself to put 160 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 1: the peing cat down, but my husband says absolutely not, 161 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 1: and is willing to put us all out on the 162 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 1: street for this cat. What should we do, Love, Kelly? 163 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,480 Speaker 1: I mean, I think cats are your department. Brandon. Well, 164 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 1: if you've tried everything, it's hard to say what else 165 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 1: you could do, because I don't know what all that 166 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,560 Speaker 1: has entailed. There are a lot of sprays that you 167 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 1: can put on the area where a cat has been urinating. 168 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,760 Speaker 1: In our house, we use diffusers. We have one in 169 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: every room. We have a multi cat and they are 170 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,040 Speaker 1: supposed to calm. They're supposed to help cats to stop 171 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: sport multi cat. The diffuser is for multiple cats in 172 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 1: a home because a lot of times that is why 173 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 1: a cat is spraying to you know, obviously markets territory. 174 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,200 Speaker 1: So we have these diffusers through the house that let 175 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: off the pheromone of like a mother cat, and so 176 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,319 Speaker 1: it's supposed to help keep them calm, help them stop scratching, 177 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:35,040 Speaker 1: stop spraying, And we have not had any issues. The 178 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:37,839 Speaker 1: only time that we've had a peeing issue is when 179 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:42,680 Speaker 1: we bring them back from being boarded. It is very unpleasant. 180 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: What is spraying exactly that like like climaxing kind of 181 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:51,120 Speaker 1: They back their butts up against the wall and just 182 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,559 Speaker 1: spray all over the wall to let you know they 183 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: are here and this is their spot. How did they 184 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:00,600 Speaker 1: get it on the wall? Though cats spray, I don't 185 00:09:00,679 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 1: understand how it cats. It comes out vain well. I 186 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 1: think the hole is right under the butt hole, yeah there, 187 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 1: and their tail shakes and they just spray. Sometimes it's 188 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 1: a lot of pace. Sometimes it's a little pe. But 189 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: it's just they'll go around in a little spirits different areas. 190 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:21,800 Speaker 1: I feel like Bert does that. Bert sprays, Oh, but 191 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 1: I think of it. Well, tell me I don't know 192 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,839 Speaker 1: my son, and I'll tell you that I do. So 193 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 1: I don't know, Kelly. I don't have any good advice 194 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: to you other than if you've not tried those diffusers. 195 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 1: They have been great in our house. Something else, Kelly, 196 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: is if you're cleaning your baseboards and using bleach, cats 197 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,680 Speaker 1: are attracted to the bleach, so I know that that 198 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 1: can be a source for their spraying as well. So 199 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,560 Speaker 1: just maybe take a look at the cleaning products that 200 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 1: you're using and if they have ammonia in them, cats 201 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: are attracted to that and can mark in those places. Yeah. Sorry, 202 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,560 Speaker 1: this isn't like Yeah, I mean we have an in 203 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 1: house cat specialist. It. I don't have any advice for 204 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,319 Speaker 1: you because I don't really know anything about cats and 205 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:07,319 Speaker 1: I'm not interested in learning. I hope your pe problems stop. 206 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 1: The next quickie says dear Chelsea, I need some advice 207 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,240 Speaker 1: regarding my nightmare of a sister in law. She is 208 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 1: straight up a total bitch and goes out of her 209 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 1: way to make it known that she doesn't like me. 210 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 1: I have a one year old son, and when she 211 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: holds him in plays with him, it makes me feel uneasy. 212 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 1: My baby daddy and I are getting married, and I 213 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,520 Speaker 1: have serious anxiety about being forced to include her in 214 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,560 Speaker 1: my bridal party. I come from a Catholic, traditional Mexican 215 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 1: American family and feel like everyone will think I'm a 216 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 1: trader and petty person if she isn't part of the 217 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 1: bridal party. Do I have to include her? Christina, No, 218 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 1: she doesn't get invited to be a part of your 219 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: bridal party because of her behavior and because she's made 220 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: you feel uncomfortable and not welcome. So that's very simple 221 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 1: and straightforward. And you can say that kindly or you 222 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,600 Speaker 1: can say it like, hey, you've been mean to me. 223 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:55,720 Speaker 1: I don't want you in my bridal party. Sorry, that's it. 224 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure there's two sides to this story, 225 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 1: but since you're writing in you know I I would 226 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: say that in a nice way, but I also think 227 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 1: you have all license to say that in a like 228 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: forceful way. There's no reason to scream or yell about it, 229 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: but you can be like, I'm sorry, this is just 230 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 1: unacceptable for me, Like you don't make me feel good. 231 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:14,679 Speaker 1: This is my wedding day. It's the most important day 232 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: of my life, and I want it to be pleasant. 233 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 1: So there's yeah, no, don't stand for that, and don't 234 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,199 Speaker 1: put yourself in a situation where you're not going to 235 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:27,199 Speaker 1: feel loved and happy and celebrated on your wedding day. Period. Okay, 236 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 1: And the next one says, Dear Chelsea, my x is 237 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,360 Speaker 1: nineteen and I'm twenty one, and I recently realized that 238 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,080 Speaker 1: I actually like his brother Moore, who is twenty six. 239 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 1: What should I do? Should I follow my heart's desire? 240 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: I don't think so. I think you stay away from 241 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:46,120 Speaker 1: brothers and sisters people unless it's the love of your 242 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,839 Speaker 1: life that that they had that storyline in Malibu Rising, 243 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:54,080 Speaker 1: this book I just read, and I don't appreciate that. 244 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,320 Speaker 1: I don't want to have sex with anyone my sisters 245 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 1: have had sex with, and I certainly don't want to 246 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 1: have sex with two brothers. So I just don't think 247 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:03,480 Speaker 1: that's good. You know, It's like, are you in love 248 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:04,840 Speaker 1: with him or do you just have a crush on him? 249 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,200 Speaker 1: If you have a crush on him, you'll get another 250 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 1: crush on somebody else sooner than you think, Okay, we're 251 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,800 Speaker 1: going to take a break right now. Well, uh, I 252 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:12,480 Speaker 1: don't know what's going to happen, but you're gonna hear 253 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 1: an ad break. I've read this book that talked about 254 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: being like open and shut. You know, when you're open 255 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,839 Speaker 1: to a person, when you're open to them, when you're 256 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: open to a new idea, or when you're like being 257 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,200 Speaker 1: adventurous and you're being open. When you say no to 258 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: new things, you're shutting down. And then that's a whole 259 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,840 Speaker 1: other kind of space that you don't want to be in. 260 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 1: So you had a good result with this where you 261 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 1: felt like you were pushing someone pushing, pushing because you 262 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 1: were just exhausted, and you're like, as soon as I 263 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,560 Speaker 1: let them in, the amount of energy I was putting 264 00:12:41,559 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 1: into it was totally different. Yes, right, right, that's true. 265 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: I had a friend who wanted to hang out a lot, 266 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,480 Speaker 1: and I was like, you know, not that into it, 267 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 1: and but she was an old friend and so I did. 268 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,559 Speaker 1: But I was resisting it, resisting, and I didn't want 269 00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:55,040 Speaker 1: to deal. I didn't want to deal. And then I did, 270 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,000 Speaker 1: and it was so easy, and it was just like, 271 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,559 Speaker 1: you know, two hours of my time was for her. 272 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,440 Speaker 1: She needed and wanted, and I just had to like 273 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:05,560 Speaker 1: give in and do that. You're putting so much energy 274 00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,320 Speaker 1: into saying no to things that sometimes it's easier to 275 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 1: say yes to them. Unless it's a sexual account. You 276 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:13,560 Speaker 1: can never be pressured to say yes to that. Okay, 277 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: does everybody hear me means no, my body my choice? 278 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,280 Speaker 1: Oh I learned a cute dance about my body my choice. 279 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 1: Uh no, don't touch me there. This is my no 280 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:27,080 Speaker 1: no square. No, don't touch me there. This is my 281 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,400 Speaker 1: no no square. So say that if someone comes up 282 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,960 Speaker 1: to you at the bus stop, that's gonna be great 283 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,840 Speaker 1: content of you for TikTok, I think, Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, 284 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:37,280 Speaker 1: that's a good idea. Thanks thinking, all right, So, dear Chelsea, 285 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 1: looking for advice on how to safeguard my emotions. I 286 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 1: just had a fight with my partner because I've been 287 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: feeling sad about numerous life events and it's all sort 288 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 1: of come crashing down today. The sadness lingered, and overall 289 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:49,559 Speaker 1: he was there, but not in the way I need 290 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,960 Speaker 1: him to be. I came to realize tonight it's because 291 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:54,560 Speaker 1: he doesn't want my sadness to affect his good energy. 292 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,680 Speaker 1: He impulsively bought a three night streaming concert ticket to 293 00:13:57,679 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 1: one of his favorite artists. Are you okay? Yeah? Sorry, 294 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,280 Speaker 1: I've had to seizure concert take it to one of 295 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,160 Speaker 1: his favorite artists while this discussion was happening. But where 296 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 1: does this leave us? When one of us is sad 297 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,760 Speaker 1: and can't seem to pull themselves up, and the other 298 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 1: is doing their best to stay happy and doesn't want 299 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 1: to risk your feeling of sadness? How can you be 300 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,360 Speaker 1: there for someone and not let them quote unquote harsh 301 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 1: your mellow? I hope this makes sense. What's her name, 302 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,720 Speaker 1: Caitlin Brandon? Would you like to take the lead on 303 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 1: this or shall I? I think you should start with 304 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 1: this one. Okay, Well, first of all, what's her name again? Caitlin? Caitlin? 305 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: This is gonna be a problem because you know how 306 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 1: bad I am with names. Ever since I accused of 307 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:34,720 Speaker 1: my friend of not remembering names, and I haven't been 308 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 1: able to remember anyone's Caitlin. No one is responsible for 309 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 1: your emotions but you. So that's the first thing. You 310 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 1: cannot expect your partner to keep you emotionally afloat. I 311 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 1: understand you want him to comfort you and to be 312 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 1: there for you in a way, but like that is 313 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 1: an inside job, that's your job. So as a partner, 314 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,720 Speaker 1: you can only be there so much for your partner 315 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 1: as well, Like he should be buying tickets to the concert. 316 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 1: You guys should be do in your own things to 317 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,520 Speaker 1: make yourselves happy and then worry about how you're going 318 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 1: to come together and make each other happy. But you 319 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 1: cannot expect somebody else to put you in a good mood. Yeah, 320 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 1: you can't allow someone to provide you your happiness. And 321 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: I've been in a long term relationship, so I understand 322 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,360 Speaker 1: this dynamic. And I think as long as your partner 323 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,040 Speaker 1: is acknowledging how you feel, like, hey, I get that 324 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:26,320 Speaker 1: you're sad, I understand the reasonings behind it, that is 325 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,520 Speaker 1: really all you can expect of them. Because you're not 326 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 1: living the same life. You're going through things separately, Like 327 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 1: he's internalizing this pandemic differently than you are. And as 328 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,400 Speaker 1: long as he's doing that and not making you feel 329 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 1: like you're not being heard or seen in your emotions, 330 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,640 Speaker 1: you can't rely on him for much. More in that, like, 331 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 1: you have to be able to pick yourself up from 332 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 1: whatever point you're in. And there's also nothing more unattractive 333 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: than managing another person's emotions. Right, this came up with 334 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 1: us even though I was wrong. I thought you were 335 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 1: sulking about something that I said, which was not true 336 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 1: because it's about the house and it has nothing to 337 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,600 Speaker 1: do with you. But anyway, I didn't like something in 338 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,600 Speaker 1: the house and I told Brandon, and Brandon didn't respond, 339 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 1: and I thought he doesn't he's taking it personally, and 340 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,960 Speaker 1: he wasn't. But it goes back to the point of 341 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,640 Speaker 1: managing other people's emotions is so fucking exhausting. Having to 342 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,840 Speaker 1: walk on eggshells around somebody because they're going through a 343 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 1: hard time or not saying the right thing, knowing that 344 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 1: you disappointed them and then trying to redirect your attention 345 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,000 Speaker 1: in the right way to make them feel heard or 346 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: seen can be an exhausting endeavor. So it's like, be 347 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 1: careful about that too, and have realistic expectations of your 348 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,040 Speaker 1: partner as well, because if you are both going through things, 349 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 1: which from your letter you understand that he is, like 350 00:16:32,640 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 1: he probably needed this outlet to just watch his music, 351 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 1: whatever the funk it is, zone out for a little bit. 352 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 1: You as a partner should also want to give him 353 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 1: that time and let him have his three days whatever 354 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: it is. You know, there are other people in your 355 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 1: life that you also can leverage, like a girlfriend, a 356 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 1: family member, someone else to confide in or talk to 357 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 1: or just get out of the house with. Like you, 358 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 1: no one person can provide you everything you need, So 359 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: assuming that your partner is going to be there for 360 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: all of your emotional roller coaster. Yeah, and also assuming 361 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,240 Speaker 1: that your partner should be doing what you would do 362 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,960 Speaker 1: is irrelevant because you're not the same person. Your whole 363 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: set of experiences, your childhoods are different. Everything leads to 364 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 1: a different human beings. So you're two separate individuals. So 365 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,080 Speaker 1: how on earth can you expect him to behave in 366 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,439 Speaker 1: the way that you would behave? Like, it's just that 367 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,720 Speaker 1: doesn't make sense when you really break it down. Well, okay, 368 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: and so for this specific example, for me reading this, 369 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 1: I would have tried to use that concert to pull 370 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,160 Speaker 1: myself out of it, like, be excited for him that 371 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 1: he got that watch it with him. You know, there 372 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:37,439 Speaker 1: are other ways to retrain your brain. Yeah, when you're 373 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,119 Speaker 1: emotionally yea, it's emotionally distressed to say, oh, let me 374 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:43,639 Speaker 1: embrace this moment or embrace his decision making, flip the 375 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 1: switch on it. Because yeah, I agree with that. There's 376 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: more positive ways to look at everything. And I think 377 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:50,800 Speaker 1: that we you and I have both had that in 378 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:54,119 Speaker 1: different ways with work or personal where people have had 379 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 1: to say, like, look at the positive things that are happening, 380 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 1: don't focus on the one thing that you wish you 381 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,360 Speaker 1: could change. Yes, yes, that happens a lot where I'll 382 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:05,840 Speaker 1: be like bitching to my manager about something. I'm like, well, 383 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: you know, and she'll be like, wait, why are you 384 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 1: focusing on that? You're focusing on the thing that you 385 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,639 Speaker 1: don't want to do instead of all the things that 386 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 1: you do want to do or the one thing that 387 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,960 Speaker 1: you didn't get with all these things other things that 388 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:18,000 Speaker 1: you do have. So that's always a good reminder for 389 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,400 Speaker 1: me because I can get on that like little victimy 390 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,119 Speaker 1: pity party sometimes. I mean I used to do that 391 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,680 Speaker 1: a lot growing up, and obviously I'm trying to shake 392 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,280 Speaker 1: that habit, but yeah, I can get negative and it's 393 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,760 Speaker 1: like no, no, no, you can't. Getting negative is just 394 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 1: reads more and more negativity. Yeah, you acknowledge it, you 395 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:35,919 Speaker 1: accept it, and you move on and then maybe give 396 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,639 Speaker 1: your boyfriend or husband a blow job I don't know, 397 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 1: and it in on a high note for him, right, Sorry? Yeah, 398 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,800 Speaker 1: well let us know how that works out for you, 399 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,399 Speaker 1: all right? So I think we hit that one out 400 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 1: of the park. Tie five on that. So this next 401 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 1: one is just writing from Nikki. She says, Dear Chelsea, 402 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:58,240 Speaker 1: your recent special evolution fucking slade me such vulnerability and truth. 403 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,240 Speaker 1: Here's my question. I like drugs, I like alcohol. I'm 404 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:04,200 Speaker 1: not dependent on either. I'm a mom, a corporate citizen, 405 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 1: and an anxious, depressed mess trying to hold life together 406 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 1: while battling for custody and dealing with the day by day. 407 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,600 Speaker 1: Forty is around the bend, and I want to make 408 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 1: changes and actual growth. How do I do this without 409 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,400 Speaker 1: the bullshit and what we'd edibles, etcetera? Do I take? 410 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,680 Speaker 1: I finally just got approved from my medical marijuana card 411 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 1: in New Jersey. I want to be creative, energetic and 412 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 1: freethinking who I was before all the bullshit and rage 413 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:29,800 Speaker 1: set in. Send me your advice. Well, this is good 414 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,480 Speaker 1: news because she's not even forty yet and so she 415 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,200 Speaker 1: I'm forty six. I just turned forty six this year 416 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 1: and I didn't even get my ship together until I 417 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,800 Speaker 1: was forty, So you're right on track. I mean, what 418 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,199 Speaker 1: state does she live in? New Jersey? Yes? Okay. As 419 00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: far as edibles go, like she didn't she say she's 420 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,359 Speaker 1: going through a custody battle. Yes, okay, So obviously you 421 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,720 Speaker 1: want to be alert for that during the day, right, 422 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,880 Speaker 1: you want to be like on your game, So if 423 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: you're dealing with something like that, I would use edibles 424 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,119 Speaker 1: at night for if you want to hang out with 425 00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,880 Speaker 1: your girlfriends and you just want to laugh your ass 426 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,960 Speaker 1: off often be silly, or for sleep if you have 427 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,199 Speaker 1: any trouble sleeping. And as far as creativity, yeah, you 428 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 1: want to use them when you have time set aside 429 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 1: to be creative, like if I'm going to write a 430 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 1: chapter in a book, or if I'm going to write 431 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: some stand up material, like I'll set aside two hours 432 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,560 Speaker 1: and I will take the weed that I think is 433 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,560 Speaker 1: going to help me get there. As far as the 434 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:20,199 Speaker 1: actual brands and types, it's different state to state, so 435 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:24,280 Speaker 1: I can't recommend any brands, but I can tell you 436 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 1: about strains and like, you know, a lot of the 437 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,119 Speaker 1: labeling that they now have on all of this cannabis 438 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,320 Speaker 1: will tell you the kind of mood that you can 439 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,600 Speaker 1: expect to get from it. It's it's not a guaranteer 440 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,719 Speaker 1: of that, but you know it'll say creative or you know, 441 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:41,640 Speaker 1: easy breezy or chill vibe, which you know obviously isn't 442 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,440 Speaker 1: going to be something that's going to keep you up. 443 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,679 Speaker 1: Sativa is also something that is supposed to give you 444 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,399 Speaker 1: more of a kick than indica. It's indica is supposed 445 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 1: to put you to sleep. I feel like those two 446 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,400 Speaker 1: terms to describe weed are kind of over even though 447 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,479 Speaker 1: they're still labeled like that. I think there are so 448 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,560 Speaker 1: many more nuanced ways to describe it because there's so 449 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,920 Speaker 1: much more than taking the edge off or giving you energy. 450 00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:04,880 Speaker 1: But you just have to do your research about what's 451 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,680 Speaker 1: available in your state and also really just start with 452 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,840 Speaker 1: micro dosing. I don't know if you want to smoke 453 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,680 Speaker 1: weed or not, but if you are smoking it, I 454 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,399 Speaker 1: would just smoke a little bit just to see how 455 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,960 Speaker 1: it affects you. And you know, sometimes when we like 456 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 1: a new thing, I always make the mistake of overdoing 457 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 1: it and doing it all the time, and like with weed, 458 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,000 Speaker 1: it's very easy to get in the habit of just 459 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,159 Speaker 1: like because you once you see the effect, you're like, oh, 460 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,040 Speaker 1: I'll take another edible in three hours, and then I'll 461 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:32,240 Speaker 1: take another one of three. It's really about minding and 462 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:37,200 Speaker 1: being mindful of how your body is reacting to the medicine, right, 463 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,480 Speaker 1: and cannabis is medicine. It grows out of the earth, 464 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:41,680 Speaker 1: it's like from mother Nature. So it is medicine, and 465 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,720 Speaker 1: so you should think about it that way. And when 466 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,840 Speaker 1: it has a nice effect in you, like when you're 467 00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,520 Speaker 1: trying out strains, make sure you just make a note 468 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,280 Speaker 1: or take a picture with your phone of all the 469 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 1: ones that you have a good time with and a 470 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 1: good experience with. But don't overdose yourself. Just start very minimally, 471 00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,639 Speaker 1: start with two and a half milligrams or five milligrams. 472 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,320 Speaker 1: Do not go beyond that until you understand what you 473 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:05,359 Speaker 1: like and how you like it. Would you add anything 474 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 1: onto that? Brandon, I mean, the only thing from her 475 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,119 Speaker 1: write and was I would kick the alcohol. I mean, 476 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,800 Speaker 1: at this point, like, what is it really doing for you? 477 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 1: It's a down or it makes you blow. I would say, 478 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 1: if you're looking for a major switch, that is that 479 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:20,439 Speaker 1: is good. I would also say you don't have to 480 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,560 Speaker 1: think about it as like eliminating alcohol from your existence, 481 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:25,360 Speaker 1: because I'm sure you think that takes the edge off. 482 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 1: I know for me personally, pot does a much better 483 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,920 Speaker 1: job of taking the edge off than alcohol. But alcohol 484 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,679 Speaker 1: still has a very special place in my life. So 485 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 1: even if you just minimize your alcohol and take for 486 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:39,639 Speaker 1: the week and just try using cannabis instead of the alcohol, 487 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:42,560 Speaker 1: and that transition alone will put you really in touch 488 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,240 Speaker 1: with the way your body is feeling. Plus, when you're 489 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:47,920 Speaker 1: trying cannabis, you don't want to be under the influence 490 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,400 Speaker 1: of other things because you're not going to be able 491 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 1: to identify what the cannabis is doing. Well unless she 492 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:55,239 Speaker 1: said that, she is an anxious, depressed mess, and so 493 00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 1: for you telling her like the two point five micro 494 00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,320 Speaker 1: dos of a mint or or of some sort of edible, 495 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:03,760 Speaker 1: like sometimes you don't even know that it's working. You think, oh, 496 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 1: I need to take another, but it is. That's the 497 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 1: other thing. You have to give it two hours. And 498 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,160 Speaker 1: sometimes people like I don't feel anything, I don't feel anything, 499 00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,399 Speaker 1: and then they take more. And that's a mistake until 500 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,680 Speaker 1: you have experience with it. You don't want to augment 501 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 1: any anxiety or any reaction, like you know by thinking, oh, 502 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,640 Speaker 1: this isn't affecting me, I'm going to have to take 503 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:23,960 Speaker 1: more that That's not a good solution. That's for a 504 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:28,040 Speaker 1: very advanced users like myself, who can take a hundred 505 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,080 Speaker 1: milligram edible and go to lunch. I can take a 506 00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 1: lot of things and go to lunch. But I'm a 507 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,159 Speaker 1: very rare case and i have a very strong constitution, 508 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,639 Speaker 1: and I've also had a ton of training, So I 509 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 1: would definitely air on the side of experimenting. You are 510 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:43,160 Speaker 1: a beginner in the world of cannabis and you are experimenting, 511 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,560 Speaker 1: and nothing that I just told you about five milligrams 512 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 1: is not going to make you go over the edge. 513 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 1: Like these are micro dos for a reason, So there's 514 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,800 Speaker 1: a whole new world of cannabis now. But yeah, I 515 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,640 Speaker 1: would lay off the sauce for a while if you can, 516 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,240 Speaker 1: or like limit to drinking one night a week. Also 517 00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:59,880 Speaker 1: be excited entering forty. These are like where things can 518 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 1: really already divorced, and most people have to go through 519 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,159 Speaker 1: their divorce when they're in their forties, So check that box. 520 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,199 Speaker 1: Thank you, NICKI for writing in Thank you, Niki. So 521 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,560 Speaker 1: our next emission comes from John. He's fifty eight. We 522 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,960 Speaker 1: don't know where he's from, but he says, Hi, Chelsea, 523 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 1: trying this out for the sake of sound advice. I'm 524 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 1: a fifty eight year old married man to a beautiful 525 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,199 Speaker 1: sixty two year old female. We've been married for almost 526 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,800 Speaker 1: ten years. We are both fit and used to be 527 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,679 Speaker 1: sexually active and still try to be intimate, but my 528 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,240 Speaker 1: wife is going through some changes and we haven't been 529 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 1: able to have intercourse because her vagina, for the lack 530 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:35,800 Speaker 1: of a better term, has shrunk. She consulted her doctor 531 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 1: and he gave her a cream to apply to try 532 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,600 Speaker 1: and loosen things up, but it doesn't seem to work 533 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 1: from her perspective, and of course it is not my priority. 534 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 1: I love sex, but she feels broke if we can't 535 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:48,560 Speaker 1: have sex. She's tried to force herself on me, and 536 00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,159 Speaker 1: it hurts to see her in pain, so I end 537 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,879 Speaker 1: up pushing her back. I've discussed options with her, and 538 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,359 Speaker 1: she says she'd be willing to try and go to 539 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 1: a toy store to find something to help our sex 540 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,879 Speaker 1: life in lieu of intercourse. It seems to go nowhere, 541 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 1: and I'm trying to figure out if we just need 542 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:04,359 Speaker 1: to be celibate for now. Yeah, obviously you need to 543 00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,400 Speaker 1: be celibate for now. I mean, why are you torturing 544 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,000 Speaker 1: each other? He's like, I don't care about sex. I 545 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,480 Speaker 1: don't care about sex, but it's always talking about I know. 546 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 1: But just leave her alone and go smoke some weed. 547 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:16,320 Speaker 1: She's in pain to have sex and her vagina is shrinking, 548 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,320 Speaker 1: but she's trying to engage, So then he should finger 549 00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 1: blast her. Well, there you go. I mean we don't 550 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 1: compromise that. Yeah, if sex is painful, then try a 551 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 1: finger blast. You can start with one finger and if 552 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,920 Speaker 1: things go well at another. I love when we can 553 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,119 Speaker 1: wrap these up very neatly. So John, there you have it. 554 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,800 Speaker 1: Just finger blast your wife, quick and easy. Thanks for 555 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:43,760 Speaker 1: writing in poor John for eight year old John. He 556 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: wanted a sex with Sue very specific way to alleviate 557 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,159 Speaker 1: this pain, and you gave him finger blast your wife. 558 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:56,040 Speaker 1: It was perfect. They need some of the relaxation techniques 559 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,040 Speaker 1: are weed Mom from earlier is using They really do 560 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,080 Speaker 1: all our last submission comes from I like the voice 561 00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,400 Speaker 1: you use when you talk about submission. You know, all right, 562 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,639 Speaker 1: this is the It's like the love boat. Rob Reiner 563 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,080 Speaker 1: was in a movie where he played a radio host. 564 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,159 Speaker 1: In his voice, I wish I could emulate. It was 565 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 1: just so soothing. He's got that jew uncle funcular voice. 566 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,240 Speaker 1: I am Jewish, low and behold. Once we found out 567 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 1: my mom's adopted, and we found her birth mother, and 568 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,520 Speaker 1: I'm Jewish. How convenient for you. I'm Jewish on the 569 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:27,280 Speaker 1: right side. It has me the mom's side, right, yeah, 570 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 1: it does. I'm not Jewish on the right side, so 571 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 1: I'm not even a real Jew even though I'm a Jew. Wow, 572 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:35,640 Speaker 1: you better better now, all right. Our last submission comes 573 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:40,560 Speaker 1: from Shannon B. Fifty out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She says, 574 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,119 Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea, here, I am suddenly fifty years old, married 575 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,680 Speaker 1: with one teenage girl. I worked two days a week 576 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,880 Speaker 1: as a law firm receptionist, and I'm bored. I don't 577 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,000 Speaker 1: want to look for just any job yet. I want 578 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,919 Speaker 1: to do something cool and make a ton of cash. 579 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,400 Speaker 1: I'm a big Instagram fan and I see all these 580 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,560 Speaker 1: influencers raking in the dough. I'm shy in reserved, so 581 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:01,199 Speaker 1: I'm a little scared to put myself out there on 582 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:03,720 Speaker 1: a social media platform like that, but I'm willing to 583 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,399 Speaker 1: do it for the right project. I just want to 584 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,879 Speaker 1: make money fast, none of this working ten years ship 585 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 1: to make the first big buck. I can do just 586 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 1: about anything, and I'm willing to do just about anything. Basically, 587 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,399 Speaker 1: I'm a fifty year old approaching menopause who is finding 588 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:21,440 Speaker 1: herself stuck in life. What do you suggest? Oh? Fuck, Brandon, 589 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 1: what do we suggest this? I mean, Shannon, are you there? 590 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: I'm here, Hi, Shannon, Hi, Hi, Hi guys. All right, Shannon, 591 00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 1: what's going on? We just if you should whore yourself 592 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:38,120 Speaker 1: out on social media to make a quick buck, right, yeah, 593 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 1: I mean why not? Everyone else is right, but it's 594 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 1: so hard if you're shy, and but I feel like 595 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,960 Speaker 1: if everybody else can do it, I can do it. 596 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,160 Speaker 1: I just don't know how to do it. Shannon, It's 597 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 1: never too late. Look at all these moms on TikTok 598 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,200 Speaker 1: making a living getting brand endorsements just for being themselves. 599 00:27:56,359 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: Just lean into the shyness. You're not that shy because 600 00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:03,159 Speaker 1: you called us like that's not a shy thing to do. 601 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,680 Speaker 1: That's cool, But I'm scared and very nervous and shaking. 602 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,960 Speaker 1: Oh well, who cares about that. You'll be fine in 603 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 1: a while, But yeah, lead into the social media of it. 604 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,280 Speaker 1: Why not in cash in so you don't have to 605 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,880 Speaker 1: work in an office job. I mean, did you say 606 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,240 Speaker 1: you working? Are you a paralegal? Is that I work 607 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 1: in a law firm. I work at the front desk. 608 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 1: Firms are depressing. I know that for sure. It's it's 609 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:28,240 Speaker 1: a lot, and I do their billing, so it's like, yeah, 610 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,680 Speaker 1: it's like boring on top of boring, how waring can 611 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:33,359 Speaker 1: you fucking get? My sister was a lawyer, and my 612 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,439 Speaker 1: sister was a health attorney and she worked at this 613 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,760 Speaker 1: like small firm in Morristown, New Jersey, and she was like, 614 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:40,920 Speaker 1: this is soul crushing and I was like, well, so 615 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: is your marriage. But you're still in that. And so 616 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 1: she left her marriage and her law firm and now 617 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 1: she works in health law in a different way. But 618 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 1: she made a big change in her life, not when 619 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,920 Speaker 1: she was fifty, right before she was fifty, and she's 620 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:55,240 Speaker 1: real happy about it. It's not the same as social media, 621 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 1: but like, I think your attitude towards social media it 622 00:28:58,040 --> 00:28:59,920 Speaker 1: should just be like yeah, whatever, I mean, that's what 623 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,880 Speaker 1: everyone's doing. Do it. But also I'm in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 624 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: Like there's no like I have like two followers. I 625 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:10,200 Speaker 1: mean there's like, no, there's no buts the That's the 626 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: great thing about social media is it doesn't really matter 627 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:16,520 Speaker 1: where you are anymore. Everyone is connected, everyone is accessible online. 628 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,600 Speaker 1: And some of these people that have the biggest followings 629 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 1: are in bum fuck nowhere, like I'm from plat South 630 00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:25,240 Speaker 1: Dakota population someone there could do it. You just keep posting. 631 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,239 Speaker 1: What you got to figure out what your stick is? Like, 632 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,520 Speaker 1: what is your stick? Are you? Like? What's your thing? 633 00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 1: Are you going to be a TikTok mom? Are you 634 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,160 Speaker 1: a dance? Can you dance? Okay? Well, then maybe you 635 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,400 Speaker 1: can make fun of them. You can be like, listen, 636 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,360 Speaker 1: this is how unlike this I am. You know, maybe 637 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,400 Speaker 1: that's your that's your vibe. It's a hard one. And 638 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 1: if it's not social media, what is it? You know? 639 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 1: Only fans only fans only. I could probably answer that, 640 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: but I thought you guys could shed some Really. I 641 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 1: wish I had better advice for you, but I would 642 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,200 Speaker 1: just say, like taking a leap of faith in general, 643 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,880 Speaker 1: even though that's really lacks besifitsit, taking a leap in general. 644 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:03,719 Speaker 1: I think it's a good practice to have as an 645 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 1: adult woman, especially when you're fifty. You need to kind 646 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:11,920 Speaker 1: of reboot, right, like to be like, yeah, well, and Chelsea, 647 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:15,840 Speaker 1: you've taken multiple risks in your career. You're not fifty yet. 648 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,800 Speaker 1: I'm not fifty, but you've taken risks in your career 649 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,280 Speaker 1: and they've always worked out or benefited. You've either learned 650 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 1: something or grown from it. So it's the same thing. 651 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:25,120 Speaker 1: Just take the leap, try it out. If it doesn't work, 652 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,120 Speaker 1: it doesn't work, but you're not out. And don't limit 653 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,880 Speaker 1: yourself to social media because that was just like an 654 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 1: idea put out there for no reason, Like, don't limit 655 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,719 Speaker 1: yourself to that. There are other ways to make money quickly, 656 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:37,680 Speaker 1: like with the Internet and like buying and selling things trading. 657 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,840 Speaker 1: People get into that rather easily. It seems like there 658 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,160 Speaker 1: are a lot of different Like you know, bitcoin, Go 659 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,480 Speaker 1: get some bitcoin, like that's going to pay off. Become 660 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:50,280 Speaker 1: a day trader my bitcoin. I got bitcoin about four 661 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:53,440 Speaker 1: years ago and bitcoin me neither. I'll never understand what 662 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:57,120 Speaker 1: the bitcoin is, but I know that I'm making money. Okay, 663 00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:58,880 Speaker 1: you're looking at me. I can't tell you what it is. 664 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,920 Speaker 1: Either you were going to check my coin base. I 665 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,760 Speaker 1: have the information, Shannon. Let us know what you figure out, 666 00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,720 Speaker 1: Let us know what you try, what works, what doesn't. 667 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,560 Speaker 1: Please give us a post. Okay, yeah, just do something though, Okay, 668 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:13,040 Speaker 1: make a change, all right, Thank you, Thank you Shannon, Bye, Shannon, Bye, 669 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:18,560 Speaker 1: guys bye. Anyone who wants to make a later in 670 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,959 Speaker 1: life change, well people have. This is what we're dealing with. 671 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 1: We're realizing people don't have balls. They need more balls. 672 00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:26,080 Speaker 1: They need that nudge. They need people to say, hey, hey, 673 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:29,520 Speaker 1: fuck go jump because people will retreat. Well, that's why 674 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: they need you, because most people are not courageous. Right, 675 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 1: People need to be re operate from that place. But 676 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,960 Speaker 1: I think people in general would benefit from being a 677 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:41,600 Speaker 1: little bit more courageous, not arrogant, courageous, right right right. 678 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,520 Speaker 1: You know what her question about confidence and arrogance makes 679 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:46,760 Speaker 1: me think of an update we just got from a 680 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,480 Speaker 1: RAM And if you remember a rom she is the 681 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 1: woman suffering from body dys morphia and an eating disorder, 682 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,160 Speaker 1: and she wasn't sure whether or not to tell her 683 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,560 Speaker 1: friends and family about her recovery. So we're gonna take 684 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,040 Speaker 1: a quick ache and when we come back we will 685 00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:07,280 Speaker 1: give you a ROMs update, so again for anyone listening. 686 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:11,520 Speaker 1: We spoke to a rom during our McDonald's Anyone episode 687 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 1: which had marked the nutritionists on, and she sent over 688 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,840 Speaker 1: a little updates. So I just wanted to oh, this 689 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,760 Speaker 1: is exciting. Oh my god. It's so exciting when people 690 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,840 Speaker 1: we have like such good patients because they come and 691 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,360 Speaker 1: then they return to give us an update. I love 692 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:31,920 Speaker 1: progress reports. Well, Aram says, Hello Brandon and Chelsea. I'd 693 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,400 Speaker 1: say that overall I'm doing well, and although recovery from 694 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,800 Speaker 1: anorexia has its ups and downs, I'm improving every day. 695 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,680 Speaker 1: I took Chelsea's advice and some of Brandon's with a caveat. 696 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 1: Brandon and I talked about how it could be a 697 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:44,800 Speaker 1: good idea to open up to more of my loved 698 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 1: ones about my eating disorder and body dysmorphia in order 699 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,320 Speaker 1: to get more support. I found this to be difficult 700 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,120 Speaker 1: because many of the people in my life unwillingly have 701 00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:57,600 Speaker 1: fat phobic pro diet culture beliefs. I mean, just the 702 00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,440 Speaker 1: other day, my grandma bitched at my grandpa, called him 703 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 1: a glutton for eating half of a watermelon, which is 704 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:07,160 Speaker 1: sucking insane because watermelons are water. So I decided to 705 00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:10,880 Speaker 1: take Brandon's advice, but with a lateral step. I picked 706 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,440 Speaker 1: a few of my most level headed, thoughtful, and honest 707 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,480 Speaker 1: loved ones and asked them their opinions on things like 708 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,760 Speaker 1: body image, confidence, and the roll of food in their life. 709 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,000 Speaker 1: I feel like people gave me much more honest and 710 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,240 Speaker 1: thoughtful answers than they would otherwise had they known about 711 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: my eating disorder and body dysmorphia upfront. I think had 712 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,000 Speaker 1: I told them about what I was struggling without right, 713 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,800 Speaker 1: they would have felt more compelled to filter their opinions 714 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,560 Speaker 1: and tiptoe around me in an effort to not trigger 715 00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,200 Speaker 1: and offend me. And as far as Chelsea's advice goes, 716 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:40,920 Speaker 1: and Chelsea, do you want to remind me? Yeah, yeah, 717 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 1: I remember. Just to remind everyone, she asked us if 718 00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:47,040 Speaker 1: she should tell her closest friends. She wanted to tell 719 00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:49,880 Speaker 1: her closest friends. I think she was ready to do that, 720 00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,200 Speaker 1: and then you said it. So she was the one 721 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 1: who brought that question. It wasn't like your advice. You 722 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:58,200 Speaker 1: just said confirmed it, you know. So she was like so, 723 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,960 Speaker 1: But also I think I told her that this is 724 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:06,640 Speaker 1: her situation. She has no one to rely on really 725 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 1: in this instance for this problem but herself, like, you 726 00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:14,000 Speaker 1: can gather your support around you, but it is your 727 00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,719 Speaker 1: decision to change your life. It is your decision to 728 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:18,360 Speaker 1: make a move. So I think that's pretty much what 729 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 1: I told her. Well, so she says, as far as 730 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 1: Chelsea's advice goes, I was able to use it and 731 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,200 Speaker 1: build on it. For the most part, I can't really 732 00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,840 Speaker 1: rely on anyone else when it comes to this disorder, 733 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,840 Speaker 1: and at its root, it's a problem that I have 734 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,040 Speaker 1: with myself. Chelsea said that this is not going to 735 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,440 Speaker 1: be the narrative of my life, and she's right. So 736 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,840 Speaker 1: I have to take the toxic narrative that is currently 737 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,360 Speaker 1: occupying my thoughts and change it into one that is healthy. 738 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,960 Speaker 1: My focus the last few weeks and months has been 739 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 1: on diving into why I have so much self hate, 740 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,920 Speaker 1: what cognitive and behavioral habits I have formed around the 741 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:50,680 Speaker 1: self hate, and how my psychologist and I are working 742 00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:53,239 Speaker 1: on undoing them. For example, in the past, I would 743 00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:56,520 Speaker 1: pedestalize and glorify certain types of bodies while degrading my own. 744 00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,640 Speaker 1: What I started doing instead is actively viewing all body 745 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:02,440 Speaker 1: types as neutral and equal. To one another that woman 746 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,799 Speaker 1: is not superior for having a flat stomach, or you 747 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:08,040 Speaker 1: are not inferior for having bigger thighs, or that person 748 00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,120 Speaker 1: is not inferior superior for having X, Y or Z. 749 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,600 Speaker 1: And doing this, I've begun to view my own body 750 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,359 Speaker 1: and other bodies with a little bit more indifference as 751 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:20,680 Speaker 1: opposed to an immediate, toxic opinion or judgment. I love 752 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:25,200 Speaker 1: what she said. That's so important. Inferior superior. We always 753 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,840 Speaker 1: do that. You know, whenever you're judging somebody, you're thinking 754 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:31,000 Speaker 1: that you're better or smarter, or prettier or whatever. If 755 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,840 Speaker 1: you're judging somebody that didn't do something the way that 756 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:35,920 Speaker 1: you would have done it, you're like, well, I know better. 757 00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,160 Speaker 1: So there's superiority in that. Anytime we're judging others, we 758 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:43,520 Speaker 1: are acting superior or inferior. So she spelled it out, 759 00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,879 Speaker 1: and she is on her way to a brighter day. 760 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,000 Speaker 1: I think, well, she wraps up saying so, given this 761 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,600 Speaker 1: advice and working on a racing self hate, A follow 762 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,799 Speaker 1: up question I have is regarding confidence in general. What 763 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,960 Speaker 1: makes a person confident in themselves? How do you form it, 764 00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,880 Speaker 1: how is it maintained? When does confidence turn into air 765 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:04,560 Speaker 1: against Thanks so much, guys. Arom Arrogance is when you 766 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,320 Speaker 1: think you know better or you think you are better. 767 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,439 Speaker 1: It's a lot to do with it has a lot 768 00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:13,920 Speaker 1: to do with superiority. So arrogance and superiority are linked 769 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,799 Speaker 1: in my mind. And to instill confidence in yourself, it 770 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,040 Speaker 1: is a conversation that you have to have with yourself, 771 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:24,560 Speaker 1: either through meditation or positive affirmations. There's no reason to 772 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,800 Speaker 1: not be confident. You know, you have to be confident 773 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,720 Speaker 1: in the abilities that you have and in the ways 774 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,080 Speaker 1: that you are able to change your life. And making 775 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:36,239 Speaker 1: this change is going to work towards instilling more and 776 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:39,360 Speaker 1: more confidence in you. You've already begun the path to 777 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:41,759 Speaker 1: get more confident, because once you realize that you are 778 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:46,000 Speaker 1: powerful enough in your own life to make changes, then 779 00:36:46,040 --> 00:36:48,319 Speaker 1: the confidence comes because you're like, oh, wow, I just 780 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:51,920 Speaker 1: did that. I just changed my life. Wow. And so 781 00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:54,520 Speaker 1: arrogance is just when you're an asshole about being confident. 782 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:58,680 Speaker 1: You don't have to do that. Eloquently put well, eloquent 783 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,680 Speaker 1: is my middle name, or lae ease or joy actually 784 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,920 Speaker 1: joys my middle name. But you know, I don't want 785 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:09,000 Speaker 1: to tell everybody about that. People just expect too much. Brandon, 786 00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:13,240 Speaker 1: what are our takeaways from today? I feel like painful 787 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,719 Speaker 1: sex is no boy. No, that's no good. Nobody wants 788 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:17,440 Speaker 1: to be in pain during sex. It's supposed to be 789 00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,759 Speaker 1: the complete opposite unless you're into pain, you know, and 790 00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,080 Speaker 1: some people are. I kind of like it a little 791 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,759 Speaker 1: bit rough sometimes, you know, if I'm with somebody that 792 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,680 Speaker 1: I really like, like, I like it if they man 793 00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:29,600 Speaker 1: handled me a little bit. I know that's out of style, 794 00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:32,160 Speaker 1: but I do like a little bit of Like I 795 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,600 Speaker 1: like to be dominated in sex. I don't like to 796 00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:38,319 Speaker 1: be the dominator. It's no fun. Well, it's good to 797 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,399 Speaker 1: know what you like. Yeah, it is good. It's good. 798 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,040 Speaker 1: I'm so there's so many straight men listening to this podcast. 799 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:47,000 Speaker 1: I'm sure. So that's great. And on that note, I 800 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,200 Speaker 1: guess I'll just look for d m s in my Instagram. 801 00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:51,480 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to scroll through them, and it's very unsettling. 802 00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,000 Speaker 1: But a lot of guys talk about want to put 803 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,160 Speaker 1: it their cocks in my asshole and that they want 804 00:37:56,239 --> 00:38:01,040 Speaker 1: to fuck me and come on my face. So I mean, 805 00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:03,239 Speaker 1: there's a lot of opportunities out there, and that's why 806 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:04,919 Speaker 1: we're gonna have to wrap things up because I gotta 807 00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:08,279 Speaker 1: get back out there, guys. Oh yeah, yes, slide into 808 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,520 Speaker 1: my d MS. Also, I am on tour. My tickets 809 00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:15,360 Speaker 1: are officially on sale. We've added a couple of extra shows. 810 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:18,000 Speaker 1: We're going to be announcing dates as we go. You 811 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:21,279 Speaker 1: can buy tickets a ticket Master for my shows. I'll 812 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:24,160 Speaker 1: be playing my next big show. I'm at the Santa 813 00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,479 Speaker 1: Barbara Bowl August one, so you can come see me there. 814 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,080 Speaker 1: And then I have all the other cities that I 815 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:34,000 Speaker 1: have already released and tickets are available and I can't 816 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,200 Speaker 1: fucking wait. It's called vaccinated and a horny, So make 817 00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:40,799 Speaker 1: sure that you bring your vaccinations and your horny nows 818 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:44,400 Speaker 1: and then keep them to yourself. Please, if you want 819 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:49,960 Speaker 1: any assistance with your partner, your best friend, really, anything, 820 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,200 Speaker 1: you can write into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com. 821 00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:56,920 Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.