1 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for a Black Girls podcasts, a 2 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:13,360 Speaker 1: weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the 3 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: small decisions we can make to become the best possible 4 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr joy Hard and Bradford, 5 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:26,160 Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information, 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 1: visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. 7 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,479 Speaker 1: And while I hope you love listening to and learning 8 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:36,120 Speaker 1: from the podcast, it is not meant to be a 9 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, 10 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 1: thanks so much for joining me for session eight of 11 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,480 Speaker 1: the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. This is our last 12 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: episode of and of course I wanted to spend some 13 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 1: time chatting with y'all about your plans for twenty nineteen. 14 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: Now is the time when many of us are thinking 15 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: about New Year's resolutions and things we want to do 16 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:09,520 Speaker 1: differently next year. For a lot of us, it feels 17 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:13,399 Speaker 1: like a natural reset. Everything starts over. We get a 18 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 1: new planner, maybe a new schedule, and everything just seems 19 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,400 Speaker 1: like you get a chance to start fresh. And while 20 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,759 Speaker 1: of course you can do this anytime, there's nothing wrong 21 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: with using this opportunity to assess what's happened in the 22 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,039 Speaker 1: past and figure out how you want to move forward 23 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 1: in the future. So if you're planning to make some 24 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 1: changes in the new year, here are seven tips that 25 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: just might help. One. Don't just make a resolution, make 26 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:46,120 Speaker 1: a goal and a plan, otherwise you may fall into 27 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: the trap of not really making the changes that you 28 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 1: want to make. Number two. Spend time being thoughtful about 29 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,840 Speaker 1: what changes you want to make and why, and spend 30 00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: time thinking about what in your life will need expand 31 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 1: be removed or reworked for these changes to take place. 32 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,520 Speaker 1: Remember that changes don't happen in a vacuum, and so 33 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 1: when you make changes in your life, changes happen in 34 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:16,320 Speaker 1: other people's lives too, And sometimes people don't want you 35 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 1: to change, and they'll resist you changing. This is not 36 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:22,800 Speaker 1: to say that you don't change, just be aware of 37 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:25,919 Speaker 1: it and prepare for how to respond when it happens. 38 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 1: Number three, Make your goals realistic. If you rarely cook, 39 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: saying you're gonna cook five nights a week may not 40 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:40,480 Speaker 1: be the most realistic goal, but it's absolutely realistic to 41 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,520 Speaker 1: think that you could cook three nights out of the week, 42 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:47,280 Speaker 1: but you have to have a plan, which brings us 43 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 1: to tip number four. Make sure that there is a 44 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 1: way to measure your goals. There won't be any way 45 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 1: to actually tell if you're making progress if there's not 46 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 1: a way to measure it. So, if your goal is 47 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:02,920 Speaker 1: to make more time for your friends, perhaps you specify 48 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,480 Speaker 1: that you'll schedule to spend time with at least one 49 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 1: friend each month. That way you can keep track of 50 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:13,720 Speaker 1: your progress. Number five, don't stress yourself out trying to 51 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 1: do too much. It might be more realistic and more 52 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:22,239 Speaker 1: effective to perhaps break your resolutions into quarterly goals as 53 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: opposed to a laundry list of twenty five different things 54 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: you want to change. This goes back to making sure 55 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: you're being realistic in your approach. Can you tackle one 56 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: new goal of quarter probably? Can you tackle five new 57 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 1: goals all at once? Probably? Not. Number six. Find support 58 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: for the changes you want to make. A good accountability 59 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 1: buddy or two can make all the difference in whether 60 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: you meet your goals or not. Sit down and discuss 61 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 1: how you're going to support one another and be specific 62 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: in asking for what you need from your partner. And 63 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: number seven, consider making your journey one just for you 64 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: are a trusted circle. Of course, there's going to be 65 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 1: lots of activity on social media about people setting goals 66 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: and making changes, But I wonder if sometimes we get 67 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: so caught up in sharing that we lose sight of 68 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: why we're making the changes in the first place. Perhaps 69 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: instead of sharing all the progress you're making on Twitter, 70 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 1: you choose to instead keep a journal of your progress 71 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: that can serve as inspiration for you when it gets tough, 72 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 1: and can be a source of pride for you when 73 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,720 Speaker 1: you read it back next year and see just how 74 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,359 Speaker 1: far you've come. So y'all know, I want to hear 75 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 1: what things you might add to the list. Maybe you 76 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 1: have things that have helped you to set and stick 77 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,880 Speaker 1: with New Year's resolutions in the past, be sure to 78 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,920 Speaker 1: share those with us on social media using the hashtag 79 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 1: tb G in session. Just a reminder that membership in 80 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 1: the Yellow Couse Collective is still open, and this month 81 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 1: we've been focusing on develop up in our vision for 82 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen and choosing our word of the year. So 83 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,480 Speaker 1: if you need that accountability that I talked about earlier, 84 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 1: or you want to chat about your goals with other sisters, 85 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:13,159 Speaker 1: come on over and join us. At Therapy for Black 86 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:17,600 Speaker 1: Girls dot Com slash y c C. If you're planning 87 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: on starting therapy soon and need help finding a therapist, 88 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,120 Speaker 1: visit our directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com 89 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: slash directory and be sure to grab your tv G 90 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,599 Speaker 1: swag or a copy of the Breakup Journal in our 91 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:35,919 Speaker 1: online store at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash Shop. 92 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:40,719 Speaker 1: I'm wishing you all a peaceful and happy holiday season 93 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,960 Speaker 1: and can't wait to catch up with you again in 94 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 1: twenty nineteen. Thank you all so much for listening, and 95 00:05:46,360 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: make sure to take good care of yourself. Doctor doctor, 96 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:16,080 Speaker 1: a doctor, doctor