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Speaker 1: Doll world up his head? Would you believe.

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Speaker 2: It's your mindsillion pieces? Would you do? Ba ba.

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Speaker 3: Ba? Ladies and gentlemen and are non buying every friends,

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Speaker 3: Welcome to another minisode of Bananas.

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Speaker 1: I as always am Kurt Brown older.

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Speaker 2: I am Scotty banana boy too, Landis. These are your stories.

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Speaker 2: We talk about him, we're excited about him. They're they're

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Speaker 2: real banana stories from real ban animals and boil boy.

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Speaker 2: Do we love them?

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Speaker 1: Oh God?

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Speaker 3: We got some good ones for you this day. First off,

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Speaker 3: check in how you doing, Scottie.

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Speaker 2: I'm good and uh. For those who might not have

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Speaker 2: heard on the podcast yet, this might come out before

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Speaker 2: the podcast we recorded. I'm doing something called to shore. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I had a dream where I was at the beach

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Speaker 2: and everybody asked me how I got there, and I

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Speaker 2: said I walked and they all laughed, and I woke

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Speaker 2: up and I texted Kurt and I said, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to walk out my front door to the ocean and

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Speaker 2: walk directly into it. So it's for charity. We're raising

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Speaker 2: money for cast la which is a charity that helps

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Speaker 2: trying to abolish human trafficking and human slavery around the world,

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Speaker 2: so for a good cause. We're already up to three

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Speaker 2: thousand bucks, which is way more than I expected. But uh,

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Speaker 2: you know, I'm gonna Kurt's gonna join me for a

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Speaker 2: lot of the walk. We're gonna be high five and

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Speaker 2: people along Santa Monica Boulevard. We're walking from my front

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Speaker 2: door to the ocean shore. So go to the GoFundMe.

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Speaker 2: We have a link on a link tree on her Instagram,

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Speaker 2: the Bananas Podcast. Send me five bucks, send me ten bucks.

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Speaker 2: Anything goes directly to this great cause. Door to shore.

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Speaker 1: Thanks guys, all right, I'm excited to do it.

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Speaker 3: That is that harkens me back to my old psychogeography

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Speaker 3: days when we would just walk.

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Speaker 1: And walk and walk. And I love a long walk.

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Speaker 1: I love a long walk.

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Speaker 2: Well, this one's fifteen point three miles, so it's gonna

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Speaker 2: be a nice long one. Yes, this is five and

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Speaker 2: a half hours. But I bet we stop and grab

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Speaker 2: a nice coffee, maybe drink a beer with a bananamal.

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Speaker 2: Who knows what's gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: Oh, come on, I think it's gonna be.

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Speaker 3: We're stopping every every hour, every two hours, having a drunk,

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Speaker 3: having a snack, we're gonna get hungry.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna eat a banana one tanas. Yeah, oh man,

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Speaker 2: he's gonna be great. So thanks to anybody who does

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Speaker 2: care to donate, and if not, that's okay too, no

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Speaker 2: problem at all. We're doing it no matter what.

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Speaker 3: All right, do you want to you got you got

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Speaker 3: a great one to jump into? Or shall I go first?

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Speaker 2: Why don't you go first? You seem to. I can

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Speaker 2: tell by the tone of your voice that you have

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Speaker 2: one that you like.

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Speaker 1: Ill we'll seem uh.

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Speaker 3: This was emailed into The Bananas a podcast at gmail

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Speaker 3: dot com and you can send yours there as well.

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Speaker 1: Alrighty.

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Speaker 3: In two thousand and four or so, I was looking

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Speaker 3: for a job. I saw a listing online that said

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Speaker 3: artist wanted for fine detail work. I applied, saying I'd

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Speaker 3: done art for years. Still life portrait, YadA, YadA. The

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Speaker 3: job poster responded to me and said, have you ever

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Speaker 3: done autographs? They explained that they dealt in paraphernalia, mainly

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Speaker 3: music stuff, and that it was being used as a

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Speaker 3: prop in a movie or going up in the wall in.

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Speaker 1: A hard rock cafe.

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Speaker 3: It didn't have to be real, so they needed someone

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Speaker 3: who could replicate autographs to sign stuff. They sent me

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Speaker 3: pictures of five famous signatures. I replicated them and sent

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Speaker 3: pictures back. I got the job. I drove to a

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Speaker 3: private residence in an affluent neighborhood in central southern New

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Speaker 3: Jersey and was created by a stooped, wild haired Woody

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Speaker 3: Allen esque man who led me to his kitchen. There

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Speaker 3: he had several of these white translucent postal service bins

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Speaker 3: full of music paraphernalia, album sheet, music, etc. Each one

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Speaker 3: had a piece of paper in it with an autograph

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Speaker 3: that had been presumably found on the Internet and printed out.

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Speaker 3: I sat down a kitchen table with a bin full

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Speaker 3: of pens, and he sat across for me and handed

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Speaker 3: me each item. I'd practice the autograph a few times,

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Speaker 3: then do it on the item, then move on to

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Speaker 3: the next one. That first day, I probably worked for

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Speaker 3: four hours and went through two or three of those bins.

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Speaker 3: I left with a stack of crisp twenties. I would

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Speaker 3: only work once in a while, Mike get called in

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Speaker 3: twice a month, might not hear from him for three months,

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Speaker 3: but I would drive to his house, sit at the table,

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Speaker 3: work and get paid.

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Speaker 1: I did this for seven years.

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, I had.

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Speaker 1: A regular job. This was just a bonus side gig.

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Speaker 3: The sessions eventually got longer and the material started getting

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Speaker 3: more strange, and I was getting paid more. I could

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Speaker 3: do autographs without practicing, and was probably tearing through seven

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Speaker 3: or eight of those bins, my god, per five or

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Speaker 3: six hour session. Now I know what you're thinking, There's

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Speaker 3: no way this was legit. How did you fall for this?

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Speaker 3: I know, but he said it was being sold to

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Speaker 3: people who knew they were buying copies. For instance, if

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Speaker 3: they were jazz records, I always made them out to Rick,

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Speaker 3: because this guy knew a guy named Rick who had

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Speaker 3: a jazz club and wanted to hang stuff on his wall.

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Speaker 1: Makes sense.

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Speaker 3: But then there were other stuff that was definitely not

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Speaker 3: getting hung in a restaurant, such as a signing a

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Speaker 3: Beatrix Potter on a first edition Peter Rabbit Mussolini on

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Speaker 3: a Time magazine from the forties, and a Martin Van

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Speaker 3: Buren on a printed transcript of a congressional session. I

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Speaker 3: would use fountain pens with water down ink to make

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Speaker 3: it look old. My god, the details here.

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Speaker 2: Yes.

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Speaker 3: Every once in a while I get skeptical and try

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Speaker 3: to google my employer, and I never found anything until

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Speaker 3: one day I was googling him and I found him.

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Speaker 3: He was using a different spelling of his name, and

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Speaker 3: which is why I couldn't find him before. What I

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Speaker 3: actually found out was a review calling him a crook

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Speaker 3: and a swindler.

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Speaker 1: Obviously.

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Speaker 3: A person apparently bought an autograph online and when it

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Speaker 3: arrived it was an item that had been printed after

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Speaker 3: the person's death. This angry poster included the swindler's website.

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Speaker 3: My employers and I checked it out and there they

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Speaker 3: were hundreds of autographs for sale, all of them mine,

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Speaker 3: with huge price tags. And there was a section of

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Speaker 3: the website with our autographs don't come with a certificate

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Speaker 3: of authenticity because so good you don't need one. State Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and they proof these days and they were all fake.

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Speaker 3: I freaked out. I've been helping this guy swindle people

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Speaker 3: for years. Am I committing fraud? Could I get caught?

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Speaker 3: At this point in my forgery career, I was getting

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Speaker 3: sent home with unimportant stuff think iron Maiden posters to

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Speaker 3: sign it home and bring back next time. I took

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Speaker 3: pictures of everything to cover my ass, packed it all up,

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Speaker 3: wrote I can't do this anymore letter and shoved it

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Speaker 3: in there, then left it on his front porch, and

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Speaker 3: Ding Dong ditched him. He and his wife, who I'd

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Speaker 3: met countless times, called and left messages for weeks, but

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Speaker 3: I never picked up, and eventually they stopped calling and

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Speaker 3: I never talked to them again. It was hard to

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Speaker 3: say goodbye to hundreds of dollars. He was paying me

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Speaker 3: one hundred dollars an hour by the time.

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Speaker 2: I wow.

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Speaker 3: But I'd like to think that when faced with money

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Speaker 3: verse morals, I did the right thing. I just googled

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Speaker 3: it for the first time in a while. The only

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Speaker 3: thing that comes up is a one star Yelp review

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Speaker 3: with a picture of a Walt Disney autograph done by me.

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Speaker 2: Oh boy, oh boy. Crazy. Right, that's a great one

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Speaker 2: because you have to assume. And I send a lot

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Speaker 2: of gifts that are signed headshots to friends like there's

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Speaker 2: and you've given me. You gave me a David Lee

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Speaker 2: Roth signed album by no Album one time, But you

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Speaker 2: just have to assume that they're all fake. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: I do, but I still love them. I still have

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Speaker 2: a Daisy Duke, the original Daisy Duke Katherine Bach in

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Speaker 2: my kitchen, framed right now, I'm looking right at her.

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Speaker 2: Probably fake, is it?

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Speaker 1: It's signed by her, it's.

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Speaker 2: Signed, and uh yeah by someone with great handwriting. And

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Speaker 2: then the best one I have is a David Lee

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Speaker 2: Roth that is from a hotel in New Jersey that says,

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Speaker 2: lou you doll, thanks for the pancakes, David Lee Roth.

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Speaker 1: That does seem like how he would talk now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, lou you doll, thanks for the pancakes, David Lee Roth.

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Speaker 2: And that one did come a little certificate, but even

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Speaker 2: those certificates look like they were make it made at

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Speaker 2: the local kinkost. I know.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's great.

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Speaker 3: I love that idea because you know, whenever I play

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Speaker 3: a club, they always have me sign a poster and

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Speaker 3: then that may they put it up.

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Speaker 1: Probably they don't.

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Speaker 3: But I like the idea of just saying, like, Johnny,

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Speaker 3: you doll, thanks for letting me perform.

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Speaker 2: You should do that, you should start. You should figure

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Speaker 2: out your sentence and your like nickname, your cute name

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Speaker 2: that you call everybody, and just lay it on everybody,

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Speaker 2: so it's yours. I have John Ratzenberg, the guy that

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Speaker 2: played chiff On. Excuse me, cliff On cheers, not chiff

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Speaker 2: On lears Yeah, he played Cliff Clavin on Cheers, and

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Speaker 2: it says like I can't read it from here, but

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Speaker 2: it's something like move forward with an open heart and

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Speaker 2: always clean your socks. And I guess that's what he

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Speaker 2: would always sign, is like always wear fresh clean socks.

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Speaker 2: That was like his headshots.

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Speaker 1: That was his thing.

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Speaker 3: Oh interesting, but this guy's story reminds me so of

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Speaker 3: like working for people in their home, especially working for

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Speaker 3: strangers in their home. It's always such a strange, weird experience.

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Speaker 3: And I've done a couple times, but first one, I

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Speaker 3: must have been eighteen. I think I just graduated high

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Speaker 3: school and I was going to college the next next,

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Speaker 3: next year, next in September, and for June, July, and August,

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Speaker 3: I got a job working at the chamber of commerce

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Speaker 3: in a what is the.

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Speaker 2: Chamber of commerce? Every town has one. I have no

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Speaker 2: idea what the hell. Nobody knows what it is.

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Speaker 3: Well what this chamber of commerce did. And it was

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Speaker 3: like there was no place. I always imagine a chamber

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Speaker 3: of commerce at least had a chamber, do you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean? There was just the basement of this

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Speaker 3: dude's house. Yes, And they you just send out mailings.

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Speaker 3: So I think like hotel like you know, Airbnb or

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Speaker 3: not airbit, but B and B is like Been and

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Speaker 3: Breakfast in that town would essentially send their thing to

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Speaker 3: the Chamber of Commerce and probably pay the Chamber of

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Speaker 3: Commerce to then send this out.

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Speaker 1: I guess it was back in the day when people

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Speaker 1: will be like, send me some brochaws for places to visit.

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Speaker 3: On the shore, and then they would like that put

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Speaker 3: it in an like and then they would just get

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Speaker 3: an envelope of all these you know, brochures of places

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Speaker 3: to stay the ofic are paying the Chamber of Commerce

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Speaker 3: to do. But but so this guy was a vice

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Speaker 3: principal of a local Catholic school of which was not

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Speaker 3: my Catholic school. It was okay, boy a bunch of

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Speaker 3: my friends went to and his name was Mike. I'm

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Speaker 3: not using any names of towns or anything like that.

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Speaker 2: Okay, this is just just Mike, the Catholic vice principal

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Speaker 2: from somewhere.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and people know where I'm from so they can

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Speaker 3: put it together. But he Okay, So I start working

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Speaker 3: in his basement and I literally just I'm just I'm

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Speaker 3: just stuff and envelopes, stuff and envelopes.

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Speaker 1: For four hours that it's on that.

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Speaker 3: And I always remember hanging over his desk, so he

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Speaker 3: had his desk in the basement as well, and hanging

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Speaker 3: over his desk, he had a big banner print shop

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Speaker 3: banner that just said Lordy, Lordy, Mike turns forty.

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Speaker 1: So he had like maybe he was like forty one

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Speaker 1: or forty two.

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Speaker 3: He's still, Yeah, a funny thing to keep up. A

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Speaker 3: funny thing to keep up, do you know what I mean,

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Speaker 3: Like just a reminder that you're in middle age.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And so then one day he's just like, hey, you know,

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Speaker 3: UH got a I got my own fridge back here.

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Speaker 1: If you, uh, you ever want to grab a beer

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Speaker 1: while you're working, go for it, man.

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Speaker 2: And how old are you?

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Speaker 1: Eighteen?

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Speaker 2: Okay, he's should be able to drink at eighteen. We

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Speaker 2: all agree, eighteen year old should be able to drink beer.

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Speaker 3: Sure, definitely can't do it legally. And he's a vice

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Speaker 3: principal of a high school. Okay, So I'm like, definitely cool.

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Speaker 3: So I go down there and I just I'm just

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Speaker 3: like pounding beers while I'm working.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 1: Uh and then uh.

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Speaker 3: And then he's just like then a then a little

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Speaker 3: couple of days later, he's like, hey, so uh and

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Speaker 3: I looked kind of hippish at that time.

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Speaker 1: I had hair down to my shoulders, you know. And uh.

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Speaker 1: He was like hey you uh you know, and I.

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Speaker 2: Was like, beer.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know how he wrought it up. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, I do, yeah, I guess.

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Speaker 2: I guess.

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Speaker 1: We're like chatting.

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Speaker 3: He's like cracked open a beer, you know, trying to

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Speaker 3: be a buddy buddy with me, and I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I smoke weed, and he's just like, well, listen, I

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Speaker 3: got this something for you.

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Speaker 1: And then he pulls out.

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Speaker 3: The weirdest I still can remember exactly what it looked at.

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Speaker 3: It was a plastic box. I think he must have

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Speaker 3: bought it at like home depot or something. It was

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Speaker 3: a plastic bolt see through top, had foam in it,

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Speaker 3: and then just perfectly nestled in the foam was a

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Speaker 3: pipe and then a rock of hash hash.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god. He was really going for it, but

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Speaker 2: he's like this is.

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Speaker 3: He's like, this has got to be eighteen years old.

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Speaker 3: This was his pipe from high school, and I think

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Speaker 3: a rock of hash from when he was in high school.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, from the from the early seventies.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, He's like, do you want this? And I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I want it.

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Speaker 3: Of course, it's difficult to come by pipes at that age,

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Speaker 3: you know, because I didn't live in a big city.

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Speaker 1: There was no heade.

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Speaker 3: Pipes a big deal, and I never had hash before,

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Speaker 3: and I was like very excited to try.

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Speaker 2: Hah. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Still weird that it's the vice print of this high

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Speaker 3: school giving it to me, and so then I take it,

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Speaker 3: I go home and we smoke this entire rock of

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Speaker 3: hash and it does not do a damn thing, like

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Speaker 3: it must have been just so old if it's eighteen

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Speaker 3: years old.

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Speaker 1: And then it gets and then there's like another step.

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Speaker 3: It gets like a little more intense, like I know,

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Speaker 3: when I look back on it, I'm like, this sounds

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Speaker 3: like grooming, do you know what I mean. Then the

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Speaker 3: next step is, hey, you want to go out and

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Speaker 3: grab some pizza at Pete and Elda's. And I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's the only time I've actually been to Betan Elda's.

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Speaker 1: Went to Pete and Elda's.

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Speaker 3: Neptune has really thin like a saltine pizza place with

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Speaker 3: almost like like a salta cracker. It's so thin you

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Speaker 3: can eat a whole sixteen inch pie by yourself. And

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Speaker 3: then he orders and he orders some uh uh some pitchers,

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Speaker 3: and we're just drinking a lot eating pizza, and then

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Speaker 3: he's like, so, do you have any weed?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, I got weed, but it's

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Speaker 3: back at my house, you know. He's like, well, could

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Speaker 3: we smoke some? And uh and I'm like yeah sure.

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Speaker 3: So then we go think about this like all the steps,

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Speaker 3: like he's he's my age or just a little younger

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Speaker 3: than I am. At this point, then we go to

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Speaker 3: my mom's house while she's at work and go into

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Speaker 3: my teenage room and then smoke weed out the window,

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Speaker 3: like opening the window and putting a fan in the window,

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Speaker 3: and we smoke it because I like lent the pipe

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Speaker 3: out to somebody. We smoked it out of like a

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Speaker 3: can because we were used to do that if you

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Speaker 3: didn't have a pipe, right, make it word.

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Speaker 1: Of the cordy, lordy, lordie. Mike stepping over some boundaries.

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Speaker 3: And then I was, and then I was, and then

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Speaker 3: at that point I was like, this is weird, Like

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Speaker 3: what's going on with this guy?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: And and yeah and.

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Speaker 3: Then here and then nothing happened, He never made a move,

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Speaker 3: nothing was like it never felt sexual in any way,

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Speaker 3: shape or form. It Literally it could have been that

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Speaker 3: he was just having a massive midlife christ Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 3: and that's literally literally keeping the lordy lord he Mike

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Speaker 3: turns forty over his head, was reminding him every day

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Speaker 3: that he was in midlife, or or he like felt

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Speaker 3: me out enough to realize that I wasn't the right target.

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Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? And I still don't know.

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00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:27,200
Speaker 1: I still don't glad you weren't. My goodness, gracious anyway.

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Speaker 2: That is weird. That's but it's always weird when when

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Speaker 2: adults hang out with teenagers. It's never good. Look never once.

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Speaker 2: If you're over twenty four, leave them kids alone. Yep,

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Speaker 2: oh man, you know I I don't like flatbread. I

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Speaker 2: don't like flat bread. I'm a pizza guy. If you

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Speaker 2: if you go to a restaurant you say, let's get

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Speaker 2: a flatbread? What a waste of time and money for me?

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Speaker 2: I I never enjoyed one. We were talking about Pete

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Speaker 2: Eddings or whatever it's called. I like it now, pizza

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Speaker 2: Pete Neldas. If you go you want to get a

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Speaker 2: flat bread, you might as well say to me, do

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Speaker 2: you want to get nothing? It feels like when it Also,

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00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,320
Speaker 2: here's something very controversial, not a sliders guy. Don't like

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Speaker 2: sliders either.

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Speaker 1: Time out.

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Speaker 3: Here's my question though, When you say flatbread, are you

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00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,200
Speaker 3: talking about a thin a thin pizza crust.

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00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I like a thin pizza crust like a

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Speaker 2: like I like thin pizza. I don't like those. It's

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Speaker 2: like when it's those little squares and they charge you

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Speaker 2: like fifteen dollars at restaurants, and it's like it's basically

359
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:35,320
Speaker 2: like knock off pizza. Sometimes it has like a arugula

360
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,600
Speaker 2: and some bad all ingredients I like, but the way

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00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,160
Speaker 2: they serve it to is basically being like, we're taking

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Speaker 2: your money and you're still going to be hungry.

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Speaker 3: Like a brushetta flatbread, right, that's usually put on top

364
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:47,040
Speaker 3: of it.

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00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:51,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'd rather have brushetta. Brushetta is great to

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Speaker 2: share with friends and loved on anyway, it's going on

367
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Speaker 2: a limb. Don't like flatbreads, don't like sliders.

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Speaker 3: And oh yeah, all right, I can understand the sliders

369
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,640
Speaker 3: one too. Sometimes it's just not enough meat for it

370
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Speaker 3: to be moist in such right, they're very dry unless

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Speaker 3: they are white Castle.

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Speaker 1: White Castle sliders are pretty much perfect.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, white Castle and Crystal. I'll get down on those.

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Speaker 2: But if you go to a restaurant and you give

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Speaker 2: me three sliders, I'm like, just give me a burger man. Like,

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Speaker 2: why are we beating around the bush. It's not fun. Okay, Dooky,

377
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,080
Speaker 2: Now that I've alienated everyone that listens to the podcast,

378
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Speaker 2: let's see this one. Well, this is a fun one.

379
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:32,480
Speaker 2: You'll like this one, Okay, Doki. This one is from

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Speaker 2: an anonymous person, but we can make up a name.

381
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,920
Speaker 2: We're gonna call her doctor student.

382
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,679
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, doctor student.

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00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:45,800
Speaker 2: Very nice person. Hi, Kurt and or Scottie. I'm a

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Speaker 2: medical student and I recently attended a huge conference where

385
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Speaker 2: I was able to mingle with several world renowned physicians

386
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,440
Speaker 2: That must be predict so you know that must be

387
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:59,280
Speaker 2: pretty cool. I'm afraid to mention any specifics because I'm

388
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,000
Speaker 2: pretty sure what am I about to tell you is

389
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:06,800
Speaker 2: at least unethical, if not illegal. Yeah, start great, start money,

390
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:12,360
Speaker 2: but that's how all good stories start, right, Yes, doctor student,

391
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:16,639
Speaker 2: you are correct. So I'm attempting to make polite small

392
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,800
Speaker 2: talk with this huge big wig physician. He trained at

393
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Speaker 2: the Mayo Clinic, He's worked with numerous Olympians, etc. Uh,

394
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,119
Speaker 2: let's just call him doctor Heyesuss, because that's who he

395
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 2: is in this field. Oh no, doctor Jesus. We're gonna

396
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:33,200
Speaker 2: call him doctor Jesus. Okay, so doctor Jesus, because that's

397
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,399
Speaker 2: who he is in this field. Anyways, doctor Jesus and

398
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,000
Speaker 2: I got on the topic of previous seminars that he

399
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 2: had taught, and he suddenly looks at me conspiratorially and whispers,

400
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,320
Speaker 2: do you know the fastest way to thalk cadaver? I

401
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:48,800
Speaker 2: guess he went, do.

402
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,840
Speaker 1: You know the fastest way to talk cadaver?

403
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:56,320
Speaker 2: I'm not a serial killer, so of course answer no. Apparently,

404
00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,919
Speaker 2: there was a seminar several years ago that supplied cadaver

405
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,440
Speaker 2: for medical students to practice procedures on. That makes sense

406
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 2: so far we understand this. The cadavers were scheduled to

407
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:11,159
Speaker 2: be delivered at a Marriotte at a Marriotte where the

408
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,080
Speaker 2: conference was being held, at five pm the night before

409
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Speaker 2: the seminar. However, there was a mix up and instead

410
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,040
Speaker 2: of five pm, they were delivered at five am the

411
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:24,920
Speaker 2: morning of the seminar. Since cadavers are frozen solid during

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00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:28,399
Speaker 2: storage to prevent de kay. That left doctor Jesus with

413
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 2: three hours. So doctor Jesus had three hours to fall

414
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,119
Speaker 2: Six frozen solid cadavers.

415
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Speaker 1: Oh my god.

416
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Speaker 2: Doctor Jesus told me he put them in the fucking

417
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:52,000
Speaker 2: hotel hot tub to thall. Six frozen cadavers. Oh my god.

418
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,120
Speaker 2: At this point in the story, doctor Jesus gets pulled

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00:19:54,119 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 2: away by his assistant to make some mundane announcement to

420
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,440
Speaker 2: the rest of the group. So I don't have more details,

421
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:02,280
Speaker 2: but in my mind it makes this story even better.

422
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,320
Speaker 2: Were the cadaver shrink wrapped so they was this a

423
00:20:05,359 --> 00:20:09,640
Speaker 2: sous ved situation, which is very funny? Or were they

424
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 2: just raw dogged and tossed in there? Did any passerby

425
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,000
Speaker 2: between the hours of five and eight am see six

426
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,040
Speaker 2: bodies sitting in a hot tub?

427
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,359
Speaker 1: But also they're sitting straight up, do you know what

428
00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:20,600
Speaker 1: I mean?

429
00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 3: They're just like they're just like at an angle because

430
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 3: they're frills in solid the hard fasta.

431
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,399
Speaker 2: Oh, and she finally says, what the fuck is a

432
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:37,360
Speaker 2: cadaver company? Anyways? Thanks guys, love the podcast.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that's a great story.

434
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Speaker 2: I love that. Isn't that wild, But like, that's not it.

435
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:45,680
Speaker 2: It's got it's one hundred percent illegal. There's no way

436
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,679
Speaker 2: you can put it. Like six dead bodies in a

437
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,600
Speaker 2: public hot tub.

438
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,320
Speaker 1: Oh, definitely it's illegal.

439
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,640
Speaker 3: I mean, like especially if the hot tub in any

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00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,879
Speaker 3: way touches the pool, then everything has to be drained

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00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 3: and cleaned and scrubbed, and it's biohazard.

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00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,199
Speaker 1: That's insane.

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00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:02,320
Speaker 2: Yes, it's insane. How did they die? I mean, whoever

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00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 2: stays at the Marriott I wish. I wish, doctor student,

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00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 2: let us know what town. But I think maybe we

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00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 2: should all avoid Marriotts for I don't know, three months.

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00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 2: Let them disinfect, let him get some fresh chlorine in there.

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00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 3: It reminds me of the joke I have about hot

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00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,879
Speaker 3: hotel hot tubs, which is uh which never which worked

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00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:24,320
Speaker 3: fifty percent of the time. Hotel hot tubs a terrible

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00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:27,119
Speaker 3: place to relax, but a great place to take a

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00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,360
Speaker 3: bath with some children.

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00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 1: You don't know, it's true, it's true.

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00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,480
Speaker 2: So you get into relax and then here come three

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00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 2: running kids and their exhausted mom, and you're like, all right,

456
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 2: I have to get out or this GE's weird.

457
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 3: In it work gets weird because then you're taking a

458
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 3: bath with a child, You don't.

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00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 2: Know that's right, Yeah, but it is nice. But also

460
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:52,800
Speaker 2: remember being a kid, getting a hot tub was the

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00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,160
Speaker 2: single greatest thing you could do. Now as an adult,

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00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 2: like in a at a hotel or whatever, it's like, oh,

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00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,159
Speaker 2: the the indoor pools he did. And now I just

464
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,400
Speaker 2: look at it and I'm like, ear infection, body infection,

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00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,920
Speaker 2: yeast infection. I'm like, this is not happening anymore.

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00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 1: That's why I like a sauna. Still like a sauna.

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00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 2: Love a sauna. Give me a dry sona. We should

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00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 2: do that. We should go now that the Gray Quaras

469
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 2: Lift a good brand reopening has commenced, we should go

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00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:18,399
Speaker 2: to Voda Voda sposa icee.

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00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, baby, let's go sweat to the oldies.

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00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 2: I bet Kristen would want to do that way. Oh yeah, frickin'

473
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,919
Speaker 2: great man. I love these minisodes. Bananimals. Keep sending us,

474
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 2: even though the Banana fhone's going away. You can always

475
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 2: DM us your stories to the Bananas Podcast on our Instagram.

476
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 2: You can email them like Kurt did an email story

477
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 2: today at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. But

478
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 2: thanks for sending them. Keep sending us as unexpected bananas

479
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 2: pictures and just look for all the silly, absurd things

480
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 2: in the world. They make this big, dumb world so

481
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 2: much easier to deal with. Bananas Bananas. This has been

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00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 2: an exactly right production.

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00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 1: Produced and engineered by Katie.

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00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,680
Speaker 2: Levine, theme music by Kahon.

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00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 1: And all of our artwork is done by Travis Millard.

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00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 2: You can follow us on Instagram at the Bananas Podcast,

487
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 2: where we post stories every day and things that we

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00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 2: don't cover on the podcast.

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00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:15,040
Speaker 3: Listen, subscribe, and please leave us a review on Apple podcast,

490
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 3: Stitcher or wherever you get your podcast.

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00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:20,439
Speaker 2: And if you're interested in advertising on Bananas, please email

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00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 2: us at the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com. That's

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00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 2: the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.