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Speaker 1: our first stop on October twenty first at the tear
Speaker 1: Grand Ballroom. Doors open at six o'clock. Bring your homies,
Speaker 1: bring your girls, bring your partner, and bring those confessions
Speaker 1: because the night is going to be filled with naughty
Speaker 1: little secrets. And you know how we turn up at
Speaker 1: a good mom show, So I cannot wait to see you.
Speaker 1: That's October twenty first at the tear a Gram Ballroom.
Speaker 1: Click the link in this episode description and get your
Speaker 1: tickets today.
Speaker 2: And like, even just as moms, we say things and
Speaker 2: we plant seeds and then we keep going and we
Speaker 2: hope that it we hope that it like imprints on them,
Speaker 2: but it does. And you know, this brings me to
Speaker 2: our affirmation. Lynna was having having it, like being scared
Speaker 2: to go to sleep and saying she was scared, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm powerful.
Speaker 1: Nothing's coming to get me. I'm safe.
Speaker 2: I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm powerful. Nothing's coming to get me.
Speaker 1: I'm safe.
Speaker 2: And like a few weeks later she was like getting nervous,
Speaker 2: like she was getting scared of something and out of nowhere,
Speaker 2: she was like, I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm powerful. Nothing's
Speaker 2: coming to get me. I'm safe.
Speaker 1: And I was like, yes, oh my gosh, remembered it.
Speaker 1: I don't remember it. Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices.
Speaker 1: I'm Erica and I'm Mila. Happy Humpday, guys, Happy Wednesday.
Speaker 1: How are you feeling, my love? I feel good. We
Speaker 1: have a new couch in our studio today. It's yellow,
Speaker 1: which makes me happy, so I feel I feel.
Speaker 2: Jubilant, jubilant, jubilant, jubilant, jubilee, jubilee. This is what happens
Speaker 2: when we try to use new words. That's why we
Speaker 2: keep using the same twelve big words that we know.
Speaker 1: Container and shut up. If you are watching on YouTube
Speaker 1: or you're not, go to go to YouTube because we
Speaker 1: look cute today. I'm wearing one of our merch items.
Speaker 1: I have our hat on. Make sure you subscribe to
Speaker 1: our YouTube channel. We're kind of cute. We got like
Speaker 1: a cute little like twenty five thousand subscribers on YouTube
Speaker 1: over there. Wow. If you haven't subscribed yet, come on
Speaker 1: and I'd be commenting back. I'd be in there. I
Speaker 1: be in the comments on YouTube cursing people out a
Speaker 1: little bit. So are YouTubers mean, Yeah, they are, because
Speaker 1: it's like it's like the dark Web. I feel like
Speaker 1: there's no real profiles. They can hide better. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: if you got cursed out in our YouTube comments, just
Speaker 1: know that was me. It was me. But if you
Speaker 1: said nice things, I also said nice things back. I'm
Speaker 1: usually the one cursing out people on Instagram.
Speaker 2: I'm getting flagged every time, even though people are disrespecting me.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know what, I have a problem with this.
Speaker 2: So you can come here and talk shit, but I
Speaker 2: can't respond.
Speaker 1: Do you go on? You go on the comment section
Speaker 1: deep dive of Instagram. Mila will send me text like
Speaker 1: she'll screenshot shit and text me and I'm like, where
Speaker 1: what is this post? Even from She's like, it's the
Speaker 1: one with Jordan's sparks. They said that we're witches and
Speaker 1: they said we're all going to hell for pulling tarot cards.
Speaker 2: Recently I went through those text messages. I'm like, first
Speaker 2: of all, poor fucking Jordan. Second of all, the logic
Speaker 2: is crazy, Like every time I think like religion is
Speaker 2: a dying breed, I see these ridiculous things. It's like
Speaker 2: Jordan's save Yourself the tarot cards. I'm like, do you
Speaker 2: Someone was like the moon, the stars, the moon, the
Speaker 2: stars and the tarot. I was like, who in the
Speaker 2: fuck do you think made the moon and the stars,
Speaker 2: witch and the tarot? And I was like, you do
Speaker 2: realize the Bible was created by a bunch of profits
Speaker 2: who got downloads. I'm like, sounds like magical, which shit
Speaker 2: to me?
Speaker 1: She did even she wasn't even a tarot car that
Speaker 1: she posted a picture of. It was like a picture
Speaker 1: got his card. It was like a picture of a snake,
Speaker 1: I know, but it was a card. It was a
Speaker 1: snake on a card. It's about like shedding old skin.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you guys are slow and your titty is
Speaker 1: about to pop out at any moment. I just know it.
Speaker 1: I can see it. The nipple is about to go
Speaker 1: to war with that time.
Speaker 2: Don't hang on my bottom cleavage, you know. I just
Speaker 2: came to the conclusion like the Internet is a dumb place,
Speaker 2: especially leaving such a We just got back from our retreat.
Speaker 2: I'm wearing a hat, my hair is not done, and
Speaker 2: I'm also still my Mexico vibes slash Madonna DJ makes
Speaker 2: the people come together.
Speaker 1: OW remember that. I hope she's okay. I need to
Speaker 1: do a check in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe you should update me because you're random updates
Speaker 2: with no end.
Speaker 1: Listen. I got I got a mess. I got a
Speaker 1: post saying Madonna was not okay and that she was
Speaker 1: shitting on herself. So and then she was totally needed
Speaker 1: to know and I was like, what the Madonna's a
Speaker 1: motherfucking legend. We can't lose Madonna. There's certain people we
Speaker 1: just can't afford to lose Madonna, Jamie FOXX, Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I have a news for you. Angela Bassett. We're gonna
Speaker 1: lose you know.
Speaker 2: I'm for I can't afford to lose Angela Bassett. We're
Speaker 2: losing everyone I know, but including us. This is not forever,
Speaker 2: This isn't temporary.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm usually the dark one.
Speaker 2: We're gonna lose everyone and everything not lose. They will
Speaker 2: transition and you will no longer be able to be
Speaker 2: with them in the physical.
Speaker 1: I know. I had that thought today. I was staring
Speaker 1: at my child as she slept this morning, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not going to be here.
Speaker 2: That's the scariest thing on earth to look at your
Speaker 2: child and be like, oh my god.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be here, but you're going to
Speaker 1: be here without me, without me? Yeah, I'm like, are
Speaker 1: you gonna be okay?
Speaker 2: I always say this, being a parent is a highly
Speaker 2: scary liability because once you have a kid, it's a
Speaker 2: liability outside of yourself that you think should you could
Speaker 2: do about it. You could just protect it, hopefully teach it,
Speaker 2: and if shit happens, you got to deal with it.
Speaker 2: Everything that comes ooh darkness. But I think that's the
Speaker 2: part of the enlightenment, right, like not having an attachment
Speaker 2: to anything, and not like not an attachment to your kids,
Speaker 2: because obviously, like there's healthy attachment, but just understanding that
Speaker 2: we are uh indestructible, we are infinity, Like we exist
Speaker 2: no matter what, forever, over and over again in the
Speaker 2: ethers or in this amazing human form where I could
Speaker 2: have really good under cleavage.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I've been staring at my child as she slept
Speaker 1: the past two nights and just thinking about how difficult
Speaker 1: it is to stay present all the time. And you know,
Speaker 1: this weekend I went to see the Barbie movie and
Speaker 1: I actually left my commentary on the Barbie movie and
Speaker 1: our Patreon, So make sure you go check out Patreon.
Speaker 1: Very important commentary for me because I am a movie critic.
Speaker 1: If you don't know, and I was. When I was
Speaker 1: watching the movie, I was looking at her and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my God, like time has flown. I
Speaker 1: remember the days of me playing with barbiees and dolls,
Speaker 1: and now I have this, and now I have a
Speaker 1: child that is playing with maybe not Barbie so much anymore,
Speaker 1: but just how time evolves, traditions somehow stay the same,
Speaker 1: playing with dolls, all these different things that kind of
Speaker 1: get passed on along the way.
Speaker 2: Who started playing with dolls? I have no idea that's
Speaker 2: the witchcraft.
Speaker 1: Is it witchcraft? I don't know. I just omated it.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's witchcraft. Everybody thinks everything's witchcraft, might
Speaker 1: as well go with it.
Speaker 2: I think it's more so congascination, imagination or conditioning.
Speaker 1: Because about it. I think it's a mixture of imagination
Speaker 1: and conditioning, because then no one gave boys dolls. Well,
Speaker 1: if you did it, well, they gave him action figures.
Speaker 1: You know, they gave girls cards to play moms. Did
Speaker 1: they give us girls dolls?
Speaker 2: To play moms or did we just get the dolls
Speaker 2: and then play fucking moms because that's what we saw.
Speaker 2: We imitated our moms maybe and like the family and
Speaker 2: then they hunched.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe, I mean, yeah, and that's what you know.
Speaker 1: I did appreciate that they addressed a lot of this
Speaker 1: stuff in the movie, and I actually feel like the
Speaker 1: movie was not for kids at all. I actually wouldn't
Speaker 1: recommend it for a Luna called me.
Speaker 2: The first thing she said to me on FaceTime Barbie
Speaker 2: was inappropriate.
Speaker 1: I was like, Barbie was inappropriate. I was like, what
Speaker 1: do you mean?
Speaker 2: She said, Nana, you tell her. I was like, what
Speaker 2: the fuck is Barbie doing. She's like, she's like they
Speaker 2: said bad words. It's like what words? And her Nana
Speaker 2: was like, vagina, penis and the effort. And I was like, Lona,
Speaker 2: vagina and penis are not bad words. First of all,
Speaker 2: are both of our children who hear us curse all
Speaker 2: day long? I know that's why my sensitive as child,
Speaker 2: I guess we don't say like vagina and penis all
Speaker 2: day But I keep telling her that these are not
Speaker 2: bad words. And I was like, I was like, everybody
Speaker 2: has either a vagina or penis, and I was like,
Speaker 2: and I was like, I don't even know why they
Speaker 2: were saying it, because Barbie don't even got a vagina.
Speaker 1: Well that was that's what they said. She said, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what they said. I was like, well, that's a fact.
Speaker 1: I do feel like a lot of the jokes totally
Speaker 1: went over Actually, I would say like ninety percent of
Speaker 1: the jokes went over Irie's head. And it was more
Speaker 1: so about just like a nostalgic like it was like
Speaker 1: entertainment for them, Like there were moments of dance, there
Speaker 1: were moments of singing, and then Barbie looking cute and
Speaker 1: also hopefully the idea that Barbie is not should not
Speaker 1: be regarded as the societal norm of beauty hopefully penetrated
Speaker 1: her little mind. However, I'm not sure if she was
Speaker 1: able to fully grasp that, although that was a big
Speaker 1: part of the message. Even though that like it's Barbie
Speaker 1: really thought that like she was saving women's lives and
Speaker 1: empowering women in her Barbie world, and then she went
Speaker 1: to like Earth and realized that, like she's fucked up
Speaker 1: the world. So it was like a rude awakening because
Speaker 1: she's living in like this Barbie role of like I
Speaker 1: help women feel powerful and every day is great and
Speaker 1: that's not And then she went into the Row worlds
Speaker 1: not and everyone hated her. So I appreciated that. There
Speaker 1: was a speech by America Ferrera that kind of brought
Speaker 1: tears to my eyes. It was like everything that I
Speaker 1: feel like we always talk about on the show in
Speaker 1: a thirty second speech.
Speaker 2: So I appreciated that. But I don't think. I don't
Speaker 2: really think that movie's for kids since her movie critics. Now,
Speaker 2: I also watched a movie last night.
Speaker 1: What is it called? Oh I saw that, Oh, Clone Tyrone.
Speaker 1: It's called Clone Tyrone. They cloned Tyrone. They cloned Tyrone.
Speaker 1: That was with Jamie Fox right tonight, Tanoya. She's from
Speaker 1: Dear White People.
Speaker 2: And oh yeah, I was a couple of people in
Speaker 2: that movie.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It was like spooky, but like, uh, I liked it.
Speaker 2: I'm really liking black people doing more like suspense, uh,
Speaker 2: scary films because we've been like, we haven't really been
Speaker 2: in that space a lot, you know, so it's nice
Speaker 2: to see us have be able to have mainstream range.
Speaker 2: But mostly the movie is real, you know, it's like
Speaker 2: an it it's like an extreme version but like I
Speaker 2: appreciated the tone of the reality of the fact that
Speaker 2: we are they like, we are targeted in society and
Speaker 2: brainwashed heavily with food, with music, with like all these things,
Speaker 2: and it's like we'd be trying to act like we
Speaker 2: don't see it, but you know, good and goddamn well,
Speaker 2: they're programming us and they've continued to and that's their
Speaker 2: like means of control. So I liked like the way
Speaker 2: they exemplified that in a very like spooky way, but
Speaker 2: then it makes you think, like, oh shit, it is real.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I enjoyed it too. I just you know
Speaker 1: Jimmie Fox, he's just he's just epic. He can just
Speaker 1: do anything. I loved him in that phone. So yesterday
Speaker 1: Neil and I were here at Good Good Media Studios
Speaker 1: check out our studio for all your podcasting needs linked bio,
Speaker 1: and we're here working and then I opened the fridge
Speaker 1: and I found some like mushrooms that Lizzie Jeff had
Speaker 1: left for us, and I recall her telling me that
Speaker 1: they were microds. She did tell us that she's like,
Speaker 1: these are micro doses. The very light that it like,
Speaker 1: goddess mushrooms, what are they called? So yesterday, I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, let me take some of this because
Speaker 1: I've been just i don't know, just been feeling not
Speaker 1: even edgy, feel like I needed something to make me
Speaker 1: just feel more grounded. So I was like a little
Speaker 1: light micro dose, be fine, bitch. I took the mushroom
Speaker 1: or the chocolate, and like twenty minutes into it, I
Speaker 1: was like, huh, this is I have that familiar feeling
Speaker 1: that you get, you know, a little tickle inside that
Speaker 1: you get. And then I was I had ordered food,
Speaker 1: and I ordered food, and then suddenly I like was
Speaker 1: not hungry at all anymore. And then I was on
Speaker 1: my computer and I was told I was like, I
Speaker 1: can't even look at my computer. This is overwhelming. They
Speaker 1: were getting emails and people were asking us to like
Speaker 1: answer questions, and I was like, oh no. Then I
Speaker 1: was like I looked over her meal and I was like, bitch,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm high, Like this is not a micro dose,
Speaker 1: like I'm on mushrooms and if I work.
Speaker 2: And of course, because she took one, I've took one.
Speaker 2: And she was like, I don't I feel high? And
Speaker 2: I was like, I think I'm okay. And then eight
Speaker 2: seconds later I was crying on the couch. It's like,
Speaker 2: I think not I'm not okay, And we had clients
Speaker 2: here and she was crying.
Speaker 1: I was like, let's get this together before they're like
Speaker 1: what the fuck? You know? I'm like, I was wondering. Actually,
Speaker 1: now that I'm sitting here, I don't think they could
Speaker 1: see us. But Mila was like sitting on my lap
Speaker 1: like crying. I'm holding her. I keep looking over because
Speaker 1: I think people are looking at us. Our clients are like,
Speaker 1: why the fuck are they crying in the studio? You know,
Speaker 1: you know what it is too.
Speaker 2: It's like when we go on these retreats and we
Speaker 2: leave for so long, we really are in these containers
Speaker 2: that are so safe. You can literally do whatever you want,
Speaker 2: and it's totally normal and safe to cry midday in
Speaker 2: a group of people for no fucking reason at all,
Speaker 2: and no one questions it. You just get hugs in love,
Speaker 2: and so then you come back to this real world
Speaker 2: and you're like, people are gonna see me cry.
Speaker 1: They're not.
Speaker 2: I know they're like, bitch is crazy, But now you
Speaker 2: know what it is. I think we need to microdo
Speaker 2: us more. I think if we did it more, like
Speaker 2: every day like maybe we need to do it again
Speaker 2: today or maybe not. I have shit to do but studying.
Speaker 2: But if we did it every day, probably it wouldn't
Speaker 2: feel so intense.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that sometimes because I go long bouts
Speaker 1: without taking mushrooms, that when it comes it's really intense
Speaker 1: and it's actually really overly emotional at first, whereas like
Speaker 1: I see some people take mushrooms and they're just like
Speaker 1: super happy and functioning immediately, where I have to like
Speaker 1: go through a whole process to get there. And so
Speaker 1: when I left you, I had to do like a
Speaker 1: lot of breathing in the car. I was like doing
Speaker 1: a lot of and then, you know, I will say
Speaker 1: it was a microdosi ish because it didn't last long
Speaker 1: that feeling. The initial feeling was intense at first, and
Speaker 1: then it kind of dissipated, and then I you know,
Speaker 1: I was with Iri, and then last night she was like, Mommy,
Speaker 1: will you watch me jump on the trampoline? And I
Speaker 1: was like sure, And she did like at least five
Speaker 1: different dance performances on the trampoline, and I was so
Speaker 1: happy watching her. I was like, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is the best shit ever. And she was killing it,
Speaker 1: like she boomboch, she had no she had the she
Speaker 1: had the hula hoop, and she was like doing She
Speaker 1: was like a hula hooper with a trampolineho on the
Speaker 1: trampoline doing all these I wish I would have recorded it,
Speaker 1: but again I was trying to be present. But it
Speaker 1: was really beautiful, like she was really in her I
Speaker 1: just saw her tap into just something where she's felt
Speaker 1: totally free and she was improvising and she was just
Speaker 1: in her zone. And I'd never really seen her like that,
Speaker 1: because sometimes when I see her perform, like if she's
Speaker 1: doing with Luna, like she feels like insecurely insecure, but
Speaker 1: like competitive skills, like she's be competitive or she's like
Speaker 1: trying to like emulate something. And I kept telling her
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't know. I was like,
Speaker 1: is it the mushrooms talking? And I was like, maybe,
Speaker 1: like you are really embodying like freedom right now. I
Speaker 1: see it. I see like the freedom coming through she.
Speaker 1: I see the all of the hours and hours and
Speaker 1: hours of hip hop classes that I've paid for. Finally
Speaker 1: I see some rhythm happening here. I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: this is amazing. And so this morning I actually woke
Speaker 1: up and I worked out and then I got the
Speaker 1: hula hoop and I like hula. I like hula for
Speaker 1: twenty minutes, and I was like, I.
Speaker 2: Need to start doing this shit more often, Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you do, remember you bought seventeen hula hoops for the retreat.
Speaker 1: I know, I thought you shipped across country. I'm worldwide
Speaker 1: stepping into my hula hoop era. I think every morning
Speaker 1: it helped me kind of like connect to my body
Speaker 1: and just feeling really feminine. And also it's a work out,
Speaker 1: but I reinspired it last night.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's the mushrooms, my daughter and
Speaker 2: the hula, but it did what it did what needed
Speaker 2: to be done, you know what it's it's really nice,
Speaker 2: Like it's not, well, obviously it's nice watching our kids
Speaker 2: grow up, but they're at this age you know, shit,
Speaker 2: they're about to be nine and Luna is about to
Speaker 2: be nine, and I'm just like what the fuck? And
Speaker 2: even this trip, just like seeing them the little women
Speaker 2: is just like a huge like it's a huge quick
Speaker 2: shift and like even come into their femininity and their
Speaker 2: sensuality and be okay with it and like feminine. It's
Speaker 2: like it's really a sight to see on the beach
Speaker 2: the other day. Uh, we were taking pictures and then
Speaker 2: the girls were like emulating our picture taking. But like
Speaker 2: when it has these pictures and she's like looking back,
Speaker 2: she's like flipping her hair. I'm was like, okay, she
Speaker 2: had like a slow motion video and she's like like
Speaker 2: all gentle and like graceful and like and I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: I see you boot.
Speaker 1: That's what I saw last night. I'm telling you. When
Speaker 1: I her performance, I saw like your femininity comes I
Speaker 1: saw the feminine essence of her, like not like the
Speaker 1: little kid. I mean, obviously she's a kid, but like
Speaker 1: I saw that essence come out of her, and I
Speaker 1: was like, wow, okay. You know, and I think a
Speaker 1: lot of times when parents see that, it scares them
Speaker 1: because it it's like you're acting grown or like you're
Speaker 1: emulating something but yet not only like yes and no,
Speaker 1: like like you're emulating everything you see a fucking Barbie
Speaker 1: and like Beyonce and like all these things and us,
Speaker 1: but also like it's in our it's in our innate nature.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
Speaker 2: Innate nature to you know, be little women in training
Speaker 2: and like I'm just so happy that we are smart
Speaker 2: enough not to like discourage it or make it like
Speaker 2: make it a thing, but just it makes such a
Speaker 2: big It makes such a difference to be able to
Speaker 2: be empowered in your femininity at a young age and
Speaker 2: not be afraid of it, because I see so many
Speaker 2: women be afraid of themselves, be afraid of their bodies,
Speaker 2: be afraid of their sensuality.
Speaker 1: I went to.
Speaker 2: The Freehand Hotel this weekend. I was at the pool
Speaker 2: and I met some women because I'm a friendly bitch,
Speaker 2: and one of the women gave me a piece of mushroom.
Speaker 2: We were talking. She was older a little bit. Shout
Speaker 2: out to Genevieve, she's probably never going to know me again.
Speaker 2: But she was just like saying something about my like
Speaker 2: my my bathing suit, and like I was just telling
Speaker 2: her about the retreating, like we get naked and we
Speaker 2: like be free and we hang out, and like she's
Speaker 2: like I can never be naked, and like even with
Speaker 2: like a group of women, She's like, I can even
Speaker 2: be naked alone. And I was like, huh, And I
Speaker 2: know that this is to be true for a lot
Speaker 2: of women. You know, we start to age and our
Speaker 2: bodies like do things differently. Or we have babies, and
Speaker 2: then it's harder for us to embrace the things that,
Speaker 2: you know, the standard of what our bodies are supposed
Speaker 2: to look like, but like really truly, like that's our
Speaker 2: power and like our sensuality. When you lose that, you're
Speaker 2: losing a part of yourself. And it doesn't matter what
Speaker 2: size or what happens as you evolved. It's like a
Speaker 2: it's an essential part of our existence and acknowledging it
Speaker 2: and watering it. And I'm just like, it's something that
Speaker 2: you have to start doing even in childhood, you know,
Speaker 2: instead of like confusing women by being like.
Speaker 1: Stop doing that.
Speaker 2: It's not being that way, you know, even like the
Speaker 2: shit my parents used to get on me about, like
Speaker 2: I refuse like wearing fucking glitter on eyelids, tying up
Speaker 2: the shure, you know, like Lena does that. And I
Speaker 2: used to be like, you think you are No, I'm
Speaker 2: just like, come on, girl, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I remember being like six years old and having those
Speaker 2: little plastic like high heels and clickety clocketing all over
Speaker 2: the supermarket, all over places, like I was going somewhere.
Speaker 2: I don't even think supposed real those motherfuckers outside, I
Speaker 2: was clickety clacketting, But that's who I am right now,
Speaker 2: clickety clacking ass, high hill wearing bitch. And my dad
Speaker 2: talked shit to me and call me grown and stuff,
Speaker 2: but like I still wore them.
Speaker 1: I cried.
Speaker 2: But you know, just like the world creating an environment
Speaker 2: for our girls that encourage them and embrace their sensuality
Speaker 2: and their femininity really could like essentially are tools that
Speaker 2: are going to like carry them for a long time,
Speaker 2: especially in a world that men are going to tell
Speaker 2: them they're too much and other women and all these
Speaker 2: things are like to fear their bodies in ways.
Speaker 1: So I was really excited to even this morning because
Speaker 1: I was still thinking about it this morning watching her,
Speaker 1: because I was really in awe and I was like
Speaker 1: I want her to know like that that's that was beautiful.
Speaker 1: And so I woke her up and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm still thinking about yesterday, and I was just like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck are you talking? Like, I'm like, that
Speaker 1: was so amazing you were doing you were really like
Speaker 1: doing her thing, and and she knew it. She felt
Speaker 1: really confident because she did one song and she's like
Speaker 1: I want to do oh you know what then she
Speaker 1: also did She was on and she's like, what song
Speaker 1: should I do? She's like, oh wait, one second, I
Speaker 1: need to talk to him. What did she call them? Her?
Speaker 1: What did she call them? She was like talking to
Speaker 1: people all night trampoline. She was like, oh hold on,
Speaker 1: it's like my spiritual like crew or something. She's like
Speaker 1: one second and asked my spiritual crew, and then she
Speaker 1: went like this, and then she was like talking to
Speaker 1: them and she's like mm hm okay, yep, okay, So
Speaker 1: we want to do Rihanna umbrella. Oh okay, And I
Speaker 1: was like wow. And she kept doing that and I
Speaker 1: was like, I've never seen her do that before. I
Speaker 1: was like, where did this come from? Like does she
Speaker 1: have is she like tapping in in some way that
Speaker 1: I like that I've missed or something, or like is
Speaker 1: this moment right now where she's tapping in? Because she
Speaker 1: did that and then I saw her do something I've
Speaker 1: never seen her do before, So it was really powerful
Speaker 1: and that's why I think it stuck with me the most,
Speaker 1: especially that because I was like, who the fuck is
Speaker 1: she talking to? But I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that whatever whatever, whatever spiritual crew she's
Speaker 1: calling in. That's that she knows that she can do that.
Speaker 1: I actually need to ask her about that, because I
Speaker 1: was like, huh, well.
Speaker 2: You know what I didn't consider, and then I thought
Speaker 2: about because okay, so this time the girls have come
Speaker 2: with us, you know, the second half of many retreats,
Speaker 2: but this time they stayed on property even though we
Speaker 2: hid them most and they kept saying, are you going to.
Speaker 1: Stop hiding us from the girl.
Speaker 2: You're hiding us from the girls. I feel like Drake
Speaker 2: hiding our kids from the world. But you know, le Jaela,
Speaker 2: who was one of our healers who came and assisted
Speaker 2: and gave a Kashak readings and did our Cacaw ceremony,
Speaker 2: who's amazing. She mentioned to me in my reading. She
Speaker 2: was like, this is really powerful for the girls just
Speaker 2: being in this space. They are getting the medicine just
Speaker 2: being here on the property. Like they don't even have
Speaker 2: to be completely like they don't have to be involved
Speaker 2: in anything, but they are, you know, getting this this
Speaker 2: this medicine. And uh, one day they're baking us to
Speaker 2: do things and I had said no five times, so
Speaker 2: finally it was my turn, and I'm like, okay, let's go.
Speaker 1: To the beach also there.
Speaker 2: I was just yeah, So we went to the beach
Speaker 2: and the water is being a little bit aggressive, and
Speaker 2: I was like, we need to ask the ocean to
Speaker 2: let us enter her. And then so we held hands
Speaker 2: and I was like, ocean, come, maybe please enter and
Speaker 2: then she slowed and then we got in and then
Speaker 2: like Linnon was like ah crabs. I was like, you
Speaker 2: can't disrespect the ocean. You can't disrespect its creatures and
Speaker 2: want to get in. So we started to talk to
Speaker 2: her and then I was like, listen to me. Girls,
Speaker 2: put your hands on the sand, put your hands at
Speaker 2: the shore. And they're like looking at me, and I
Speaker 2: was like, dear ocean, like did a whole thing like
Speaker 2: thank you, thank you for providing for us, thank you
Speaker 2: for letting us like eat from you, let us like
Speaker 2: for helping us thrive. And so they like repeated after me,
Speaker 2: and I was like and then they're looking at me
Speaker 2: and like they're like whatever, but I'm like they think
Speaker 2: I'm crazy.
Speaker 1: But then three days later, everyone to the beach and.
Speaker 2: They're like the ocean said get in, and I was
Speaker 2: like I'm drinking. And then Ari was like, ocean, her
Speaker 2: mom's drinking right now. I was like, you smart ass,
Speaker 2: but it's true, like they're being attuned through us, you know,
Speaker 2: like just the simply the energy of seeing and hearing
Speaker 2: what's happening. Because even when I got that reading, they
Speaker 2: were downstairs but they couldn't really hear, but I'm sure
Speaker 2: they're like what the fuck are they up there doing
Speaker 2: and hearing bits.
Speaker 1: And pieces of it.
Speaker 2: And I was like kind of sharing with Luna, like
Speaker 2: who who we were to each other in a different
Speaker 2: life that we were husband and wife and.
Speaker 1: She's like what and like but just having the.
Speaker 2: Having the mindset and the like the scope broadening the
Speaker 2: scope because as a kid, if your parents don't believe
Speaker 2: in certain things, a lot of times you don't even
Speaker 2: think of those things. So for her even to have
Speaker 2: the like the two sons, that's like, okay, hey we
Speaker 2: could talk to the ocean, Hey we could talk to
Speaker 2: spirit guides. Hey I can you know like we've maybe
Speaker 2: lived other times and we've been here together before. It
Speaker 2: just broadens their like young minds imagination. It's like we're
Speaker 2: they're gonna have to do so much less work undoing
Speaker 2: the socialization because they've been with us in these spaces
Speaker 2: and it really is a beautiful, beautiful thing to witness,
Speaker 2: and like even just as moms, we say things and
Speaker 2: we plant seeds and then we keep going and we
Speaker 2: hope that it we hope that it like imprints on them,
Speaker 2: but it does. And you know, this brings me to
Speaker 2: our affirmation. Lenna was having a having it like being
Speaker 2: scared to go to sleep and saying she was scared,
Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm powerful.
Speaker 2: Nothing's coming to get me. I'm safe. I'm brave, i'm strong,
Speaker 2: i'm powerful. Nothing's coming to get me.
Speaker 1: I'm safe.
Speaker 2: And like a few weeks later, she was like getting nervous,
Speaker 2: like she was getting scared of something, and out of nowhere,
Speaker 2: she was like, I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm powerful, nothing's
Speaker 2: coming to get me.
Speaker 1: I'm safe. And I was like, yes, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I remembered it. I don't remember it.
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, Like it reminded me that
Speaker 2: she's always listening and she's always watching, and like it's
Speaker 2: powerful to plant these small seeds of there are powers
Speaker 2: outside of us that you can tap into, you know, So.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's true. I guess I guess I didn't
Speaker 1: correlate the experience that we had in Mexico with this
Speaker 1: experience that I witnessed yesterday. But it's definitely they're definitely linked.
Speaker 1: And even tell you saying that, you know, Luna practically
Speaker 1: adopting practice or adopting that affirmation even before Iri was
Speaker 1: doing her thing. She she was like, Okay, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take some deep breaths, and so she was like, and
Speaker 1: I noticed, like there was a difference between when she
Speaker 1: didn't take those deep breaths and her trampoline performance versus
Speaker 1: when she did, Like she just performed better. And she
Speaker 1: knows that that is a tool that she needs to
Speaker 1: use when she wants to focus, she wants to ground.
Speaker 1: So I am. I am grateful that we've been able to,
Speaker 1: you know, create these spaces for them to come, even
Speaker 1: if we are hiding them from the world. We didn't
Speaker 1: hit them, we didn't want to hide them. But you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of these women are coming to get away
Speaker 1: from their kids, away from their kids, and you know
Speaker 1: they don't I know, for me, like I don't want
Speaker 1: to swim in a pool with a bunch of kids.
Speaker 1: I'm on my retreat, Like no thanks.
Speaker 2: Even though we loved thembod on the pool the last day,
Speaker 2: and I really I do. I like I like them
Speaker 2: being able to see us like adorn ourselves, be half
Speaker 2: naked and go back out, come back in.
Speaker 1: And like I know our They saw a lot of
Speaker 1: outfit changes and transitions in between the retreats between us,
Speaker 1: like wearing lingerie half naked us coming in wearing wichy
Speaker 1: shit and long gloves with glitter.
Speaker 2: On our eyes, us howling, hearing people scream, seeing other
Speaker 2: women walk around naked, like even if it was briefly,
Speaker 2: you know, And I think it is really important for
Speaker 2: them to just be attuned in that in that space
Speaker 2: and see what it looks like for women outside of
Speaker 2: us to be naked and to be free and to
Speaker 2: be in like in a circle. So and then oh,
Speaker 2: and then Luna said something to me which I was like,
Speaker 2: I hadn't even thought about. And she's like, I was like,
Speaker 2: you know, you know, our hope is that you're gonna
Speaker 2: this is our first time here, and we're gonna do
Speaker 2: another location, another location so we can continue to like
Speaker 2: explore and find, you know, travel to new places together.
Speaker 2: And she was like, when you guys are done, with
Speaker 2: the good vibe tree are me and I A gonna
Speaker 2: take it?
Speaker 1: I was like, yes, you are, baby.
Speaker 2: That was like her thought process, like even understanding, like
Speaker 2: this is something that she wants to do, even though
Speaker 2: she's not really one hundred percent sure what the fuck
Speaker 2: we're doing over there, She's with it, you know, And
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm proud, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, is it backward time? It is?
Speaker 2: I need to smuggle back with Okay, I rolled it
Speaker 2: the vanilla, but let me just add my little a
Speaker 2: little honey.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm still processing everything that happened at the retreat.
Speaker 1: This was our first time going away from Costa Rica
Speaker 1: and hosting women in a different space, and it was different.
Speaker 1: It felt different, but all in but in the best
Speaker 1: ways possible. I think. I think there's definitely a different
Speaker 1: energy when you're next to the ocean versus tucked away
Speaker 1: into the jungle. Both of these groups were a lot
Speaker 1: more intimate. They were smaller groups than we've had before.
Speaker 1: We had a lot of people come back.
Speaker 2: We had three people who were who had come other
Speaker 2: on other retreats that came to this one, which is
Speaker 2: like super affirming for us since it feels really good
Speaker 2: that you trust like you had such a.
Speaker 1: Good time the first time.
Speaker 2: Every time I do this, I feel like oddly like sexual,
Speaker 2: even though it really like skinny pinks. That's a long backwood,
Speaker 2: not just how I rolled it. Sorry, I got distracted
Speaker 2: because I have a potty brain.
Speaker 1: What are we think? No? I was just thinking. No,
Speaker 1: I was just I was saying, it is affirming and
Speaker 1: even We just announced our next retreat in Costa Rica
Speaker 1: in February next year, and we already have four girls
Speaker 1: from this retreat that are coming to that retreat. So
Speaker 1: it makes me feel good that we've created you know,
Speaker 1: these circles where women feel safe or they feel recharged.
Speaker 1: You know a lot of these women went home and said,
Speaker 1: I'm not I feel activated. I'm not I'm not exhausted anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm ready to to make my dreams come true. I'm
Speaker 1: ready to divorce my husband. I'm ready to love on
Speaker 1: my head. I'm ready to stop doubting myself. I'm ready
Speaker 1: to change my career. I'm ready to level up in
Speaker 1: my career. And that's really the purpose of the retreat
Speaker 1: is to question everything and rebuild the best parts of yourself.
Speaker 2: I mean, just really come back to your power, and
Speaker 2: I saw that happen. I saw that happen, and it
Speaker 2: is the most fucking rewarding thing I've ever seen. Like
Speaker 2: to see people come one way and just slowly blossom
Speaker 2: out of their comfort zones is literally the most beautiful
Speaker 2: thing I've ever seen. Like I'm thinking of like Connie,
Speaker 2: who's like quiet, but then by like the last day,
Speaker 2: it was.
Speaker 1: Like talking in the pool.
Speaker 2: Even Ashley, you know, like the first time she came
Speaker 2: until this time she came turking in the pool. She's like,
Speaker 2: take a picture of me, but ask naked, and I'm
Speaker 2: like I love you, and like, yeah.
Speaker 1: I would say like her transition has been the most
Speaker 1: beautiful thing I think I've ever witnessed, to be honest,
Speaker 1: because where she was at in our retreat last year
Speaker 1: versus this year, it's a totally different person, it.
Speaker 2: Is, and even even she recognizes it. And we had
Speaker 2: someone who likes so proud of her, so proud, so proud.
Speaker 2: Like I went out one night because I'm thirsty and
Speaker 2: I really wanted to go salsa dancing, but it was
Speaker 2: like the first night the girls got there, so I
Speaker 2: was like, anybody want to go out? And everyone's tired,
Speaker 2: No one did to go, so I was like, fuck it.
Speaker 2: Ashley was like I'll go. I was like, okay. She
Speaker 2: barely spoke the first retreat. She was like, we're out here.
Speaker 2: I was like okay, and then she offered some really
Speaker 2: beautiful words to you know, another woman came who was
Speaker 2: like releasing heavy, and she recognized that in her and
Speaker 2: she was like, and you know, there's a moment me
Speaker 2: and Erica were embracing that woman and Ashley witnessed it
Speaker 2: and she told her. She's like, I really wanted to
Speaker 2: tell you that that was me last year, and I'm
Speaker 2: a totally like I feel totally different. So I'm just
Speaker 2: it's really brings me joy to see you experiencing what
Speaker 2: I experienced last year and just giving her, like giving
Speaker 2: her encouragement that like everything can change after this, because
Speaker 2: it has for her, you know, And it really is
Speaker 2: the most rewarding, most beautiful, purposeful shit. I know I
Speaker 2: say this every time, but like every time I do this,
Speaker 2: I'm so affirmed that I'm doing the right thing. I'm
Speaker 2: so clear that women, especially Broun and Black women really
Speaker 2: need spaces and each other to just be free.
Speaker 1: And we've been so contained and so.
Speaker 2: Hardcore because we got to do this, get the shit done,
Speaker 2: because sometimes we're not protected, because sometimes we're not supported,
Speaker 2: because sometimes we don't feel protected or supported, and so
Speaker 2: that there's no time for crying, there's no time for
Speaker 2: like giggling and bullshitting, there's no like naked. Why so
Speaker 2: it's just like giving women the opportunity to tap into that.
Speaker 2: That space is medicine, and I think we underestimate what
Speaker 2: medicine looks like.
Speaker 1: You think you Papa Zanex or an.
Speaker 2: Advila, whatever the doctor prescribes to you, and you think, oh,
Speaker 2: you know this is medicine. But no, it's like being
Speaker 2: around genuine ass women.
Speaker 1: It's like, well, it's even too like I think about therapy,
Speaker 1: and you can sit in therapy for hours and hours
Speaker 1: and months and months and slowly start to feel the
Speaker 1: effects of whatever the work is that you're working on.
Speaker 1: I feel like in these short five days it is
Speaker 1: like therapy on crack because you're actually putting so much
Speaker 1: of the work into practice. You're forced to get out
Speaker 1: of your comfort zone and you're excited to do it.
Speaker 1: Whereas therapy a lot of times is like a singular
Speaker 1: practice that you have to work on by yourself. But
Speaker 1: when you're seeing women that are all in different maybe
Speaker 1: aspects of their life, journeys of their life, taking off
Speaker 1: their masks. It's giving women permission to do things that
Speaker 1: they may not ever get to do, just being in
Speaker 1: therapy and saying Okay, now go home and put this
Speaker 1: put this conversation into practice, you know. And I think
Speaker 1: that's why we see such a rapid transformation in these
Speaker 1: women's lives afterwards. And I'm not a therapist, but.
Speaker 2: However, Ashley's Ashley's therapist recommended that she go on another retreat,
Speaker 2: and that made me feel really happy, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: more therapists should recommend retreats like this so that women
Speaker 2: can have these experiences, because it truly that fuck the prescription,
Speaker 2: this is the prescription, right, And when she told me
Speaker 2: her therapist recommended it, I was like, smart therapist, Now
Speaker 2: it's true.
Speaker 1: I think even for me it's there. It's been extreme
Speaker 1: therapy and I've had to face a lot of things too.
Speaker 1: Even this last retreat, I realized, I think I don't
Speaker 1: necessarily label myself as an mpath. I think maybe because
Speaker 1: my idea of what an m path looks like, I
Speaker 1: don't know I've had I guess a specific view on
Speaker 1: what an mpath looks like. I realized that I am
Speaker 1: in a different way and that I take on a
Speaker 1: lot of energy unwillingly, almost like I don't even realize
Speaker 1: I'm taking on energy because I feel like I'm really
Speaker 1: good with like, okay, well, I know how to compartmentalize
Speaker 1: this boundary, like, oh my gosh, she's going through a release.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be here to support her and we're
Speaker 1: going to work through this, and that's that. But I
Speaker 1: realized I have to have things in place if I'm
Speaker 1: going to be in these spaces facilitating and also participating
Speaker 1: in the medicine with these women that allow me to
Speaker 1: cleanse from these experiences. And I'm still I feel like
Speaker 1: even today and now on doing some of some of
Speaker 1: the I don't want to say, I guess undoing some
Speaker 1: of the releasing some of the feelings that I've taken
Speaker 1: on from other people that I didn't even realize I
Speaker 1: took on, Like when we were supporting someone through you know,
Speaker 1: when we did our mushroom ceremony, we were supporting her.
Speaker 1: I saw a lot of women that I know matin
Speaker 1: her and also a fear of like, oh, if I
Speaker 1: don't choose myself, I could be right here. I could
Speaker 1: be right here, and it scared me and it carried
Speaker 1: that with me. And you know, when you are doing
Speaker 1: this kind of work, what I've realized is you do
Speaker 1: you have to have things in place afterwards to cleanse
Speaker 1: yourself and to feel like, Okay, those things are not
Speaker 1: part of me. I've helped someone transition through this journey,
Speaker 1: but it's not part of my journey. It's not mine,
Speaker 1: and I'm not I haven't quite figured that out yet
Speaker 1: how to do that. I know that like after these experiences,
Speaker 1: I probably need to take like four days to myself
Speaker 1: and do a lot of like spiritual shit for myself, saging, meditating, crying, swimming, massaging.
Speaker 1: You know, But like I really took that for granted,
Speaker 1: or I think people take that for granted, because even
Speaker 1: I was trying to explain to my mom how I
Speaker 1: was feeling, and she didn't understand. She was just like, well, yeah, babe,
Speaker 1: you can't take on people's energy. I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: think you get it. Like it's not intimate, it's not
Speaker 1: like it's not like I have I don't have control
Speaker 1: over it. It's beyond my control. It's not something that
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, I had this conversation. It was heavy,
Speaker 1: but that's your shit and this is my shit. Yes
Speaker 1: I can do that. But when there's like a lot
Speaker 1: of feminine energy and just this power moving through the groups,
Speaker 1: it's almost like it's an invisible like latch onto you,
Speaker 1: like you don't even realize it's happening.
Speaker 2: Well, I think what I've discovered in the retreats is that, like,
Speaker 2: especially in that moment and a lot of moments, seeing
Speaker 2: people really seeing people like hearing people's the things that
Speaker 2: they're releasing, it's like it's all very similar. We've all
Speaker 2: experienced similar things, and it's that's the thing. It's like
Speaker 2: it's all of ours. It's collective, you know, and it's
Speaker 2: not personal to us, but there's a collective attachment because
Speaker 2: I know that feeling. I understand what that looks like.
Speaker 2: I understand if you don't release, this is what it
Speaker 2: could look like. You see your mother, you see your grandma,
Speaker 2: you see you know friends that refuse to you know,
Speaker 2: give themselves permission to release, and then you see like
Speaker 2: what can happen if you don't honor that part of
Speaker 2: you and you don't have practice and it is scary.
Speaker 2: That shit scared me too, And I saw my mom
Speaker 2: and I saw, like, you know, there's this, like there's
Speaker 2: this you know, angry black woman's stigma and we all
Speaker 2: hate it, you know, like but it's like that's that's
Speaker 2: the stereotype. And it took me a while, like I
Speaker 2: realize that exists, because yeah, bitches can be angry if
Speaker 2: everything is put on you over and over and over
Speaker 2: and over again, and yet there are no tools to
Speaker 2: show you how to move out of those spaces and
Speaker 2: release it and choose yourself.
Speaker 1: And it's scary.
Speaker 2: It's scary if I, like even for me, if I
Speaker 2: hadn't come into this, you know, fallen into this space,
Speaker 2: who I could have become. And it's like, choosing joy
Speaker 2: and choosing yourself is a real life job, and it's
Speaker 2: a real life it should be really a huge priority
Speaker 2: for us because it's not sustainable otherwise. And then you'll
Speaker 2: be angry and bitter and resentful and you don't even
Speaker 2: fucking know why, and it's because you haven't given yourself
Speaker 2: the opportunity to like pour it back out.
Speaker 1: I am sorry, I'm having this, like vision of like
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to explain, and like a lot of
Speaker 1: these women are coming to do shadow work, whether or
Speaker 1: not they realize it or not. And within these shadows,
Speaker 1: there's like these there's these egos, there's these alter egos
Speaker 1: that start to kind of come off of their bodies
Speaker 1: and they start to kind of just wander around trying
Speaker 1: to find somewhere else to latch onto, like almost like
Speaker 1: these shadows that are just like walking through the property
Speaker 1: of our retreat, like Okay, well she's trying to get
Speaker 1: rid of me. Where do I go now? And it's
Speaker 1: like the ocean, the ocean. But I felt like these
Speaker 1: shadows and these feelings and these energies were like touch
Speaker 1: like latching onto me in ways, not all of them,
Speaker 1: but there's a residualness that's happening as someone that's facilitating
Speaker 1: the retreat. And it's almost like a testing of my
Speaker 1: own practices. It's like, oh, bitch, you want to open,
Speaker 1: you want to crack these bitches open? Oh you want
Speaker 1: you want you want their shit to spill out? Okay,
Speaker 1: well I'm gonna come for you. And what are you
Speaker 1: gonna do about it? What practices do you have in
Speaker 1: place to protect yourself from this type of energy, and
Speaker 1: I realized that I didn't have I don't want to
Speaker 1: say the armor, because I don't want to have armor
Speaker 1: when I'm in these spaces, but I do have to
Speaker 1: have a level of protection and I didn't and I haven't.
Speaker 1: And so I think, moving forward, because I'm dedicated to
Speaker 1: this journey of retreating and creating these circles for women,
Speaker 1: that I do have to figure out what that means
Speaker 1: for myself. And that's leaning on other women that have
Speaker 1: been in this space longer than me and asking them like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck do you do after experience like that?
Speaker 1: Because a bitch was crying in the room for like
Speaker 1: three hours and I couldn't explain why. Even my daughter
Speaker 1: came in. She's like, Mommy, are you okay? And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, am I traumatizing her. She's
Speaker 1: like one time when I was in Mexico, my mom
Speaker 1: was leading retreats and then she cried in the room
Speaker 1: for three hours and I kept coming in and she
Speaker 1: was still crying, not sure why, and it's like Mommy
Speaker 1: wasn't sure either. But I think, now that I'm thinking
Speaker 1: about it, that's really what it kind of felt like
Speaker 1: it felt like this this overspill of things that women
Speaker 1: had been harboring for so long that had finally started
Speaker 1: to kind of release, and that energy has to go
Speaker 1: somewhere and it either goes, like you said, to the ocean,
Speaker 1: to the water, or it can attach to other people.
Speaker 1: And it was kind of heavy. It gets heavy.
Speaker 2: But for me, I feel like I have such I
Speaker 2: don't know, like it's new, it's different, but I'm so's
Speaker 2: I'm so clear about that outcome, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: Like I can I can physically see the energy move
Speaker 2: out and that brings me joy, you know, and like
Speaker 2: sometimes we don't like we're not perfect people and we're
Speaker 2: just we're going on intuition, and but seeing it released
Speaker 2: from people, seeing people purge and kind of finally let
Speaker 2: go is so rewarding. And like I'm I am an EmPATH,
Speaker 2: like I can feel things very deeply. I'm also like
Speaker 2: I don't know, I'm I'm I think I'm This trip
Speaker 2: kind of solidified and affirmed for me how much this
Speaker 2: is my work, and so like.
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not afraid of it.
Speaker 2: I'm just like I can embrace the hard times because
Speaker 2: I know there's like I know the other side of it.
Speaker 2: I think I do feel the sadness that there are people,
Speaker 2: there are.
Speaker 1: Women who will never experience this.
Speaker 2: There are women who will take that pain and that
Speaker 2: hurt to the grave and to their next life and
Speaker 2: maybe their next life after that, you know, and like
Speaker 2: to have the privilege of giving someone the opportunity to
Speaker 2: put that shit down right now is so it's so rewarding.
Speaker 2: It also is scary as that, like I have the
Speaker 2: I have the power to facilitate that. And also I
Speaker 2: may not ever save some of the people the closest
Speaker 2: people to me, and not save but like help, Like
Speaker 2: I know these tools, but like there are people that
Speaker 2: are so close to me that they can't receive the medicine.
Speaker 1: Oh no, they won't. They won't, and they can't because
Speaker 1: they've judged you or judged me. And and that's the
Speaker 1: whole reason people come on the retreat and why we
Speaker 1: encourage people to come by themselves, because people will hold
Speaker 1: you to a certain standard or to your choices that
Speaker 1: you've made and cannot see you as a healer, cannot
Speaker 1: see you as someone that can facilitate like a heart
Speaker 1: opening experience for someone a transformation of breakthrough, and that's
Speaker 1: why it's so important for women to come alone on
Speaker 1: these retreats. But also it is heartbreaking to know that
Speaker 1: there's certain people that not that like we're going to
Speaker 1: go and save all of our friends, but like just
Speaker 1: the fact that we can't even see each other eye
Speaker 1: to eye in that way, because honestly, like part of
Speaker 1: that there's there's a healing for me or for you
Speaker 1: with that person. If they were open to it, it would
Speaker 1: be a mutual exchange of healing. It's always a mutual,
Speaker 1: you know. And so it is I think about like
Speaker 1: some of the women in my life, my mom, you know,
Speaker 1: we've had this is our second time we've had a
Speaker 1: mom and daughter come on the retreat, and more and
Speaker 1: more I envy it me too. I'm like, and my
Speaker 1: mom says she wanted to come this last one, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. But then I also
Speaker 1: I was like, please don't. I'm scared. But I know
Speaker 1: I hope that I hope that one day we can,
Speaker 1: and I hope that one day I won't feel that way,
Speaker 1: and I hope that she'll be able to come and
Speaker 1: receive something from me, and I will be able to
Speaker 1: receive something from her that maybe I wouldn't I haven't
Speaker 1: been able to receive in our everyday life.
Speaker 2: I think when women come like they don't know us,
Speaker 2: and you know, it's not so they're not they don't
Speaker 2: have a previous expectation of how we're supposed to show up.
Speaker 2: But I think a lot of times in the worlds
Speaker 2: that we live in in general, it's like, oh, you
Speaker 2: don't have a degree in healing, you don't have you
Speaker 2: don't have a therapy degree, or you didn't like you.
Speaker 1: Do twenty two hours of reiki training right or whatever
Speaker 1: the fuck whatever?
Speaker 2: Just if oh you didn't get your therapy license or whatever,
Speaker 2: like whatever justifies putting your stuff down and telling someone
Speaker 2: the truth, you know, being vulnerable with somebody whatever, whatever
Speaker 2: that is. That's like, oh, this person's my therapist, so
Speaker 2: she's eligible and has credentials enough to receive what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: And sometimes those bitches have are fucked up too and
Speaker 2: they haven't put their shit down, and then it's it's
Speaker 2: projecting back.
Speaker 1: Onto you, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: And it's just like, it's unfortunate that we live in
Speaker 2: a society that has like so much it's really white
Speaker 2: supremacy that doesn't allow us to see people for what
Speaker 2: they are. Because when I look at myself in this space, it's.
Speaker 1: Back what is good.
Speaker 2: There's imposter syndrome sometimes, and there's fear, and there's like
Speaker 2: doubtfulness about you know, what.
Speaker 1: I should be doing or how to do it.
Speaker 2: But I realize, like the person that I've always been, like,
Speaker 2: I'm very empathetic, I'm very compassionate. I want to talk
Speaker 2: to people. I want to stare into your eyes. I
Speaker 2: want people to loosen up. I want people to accept themselves,
Speaker 2: you know, like that's always just kind of been who
Speaker 2: I am. But I'm like, oh, like all these traits
Speaker 2: are traits that have always existed in me. Well, the
Speaker 2: traits is what your expertise is, do you know what
Speaker 2: I mean?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: But we're still busy trying to go learn traits from
Speaker 2: something that is your expertise, from some you know, some
Speaker 2: campus that we forget to actually scan ourselves and say, like,
Speaker 2: this is actually what I'm good at. You know, I
Speaker 2: heal because I like to talk to bitches in the
Speaker 2: bathroom every time, Like I go out and I don't
Speaker 2: have to do much and women will come to me,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, you want to be my friend. But
Speaker 2: it's because I have a friendly demeanor. I don't feel
Speaker 2: like I don't think I feel intimidating, and so I
Speaker 2: can make friends easily.
Speaker 1: But you know, in this space, it's just like.
Speaker 2: We're doing mushrooms and we're like in this beautiful on
Speaker 2: the fucking ocean, and I just watched like it was
Speaker 2: a nishe and I think, uh, who's our fairy?
Speaker 1: Nisha, no, Stacy.
Speaker 2: Nisha and Stacy were just like dancing together, like holding
Speaker 2: each other, twirling in the sunlight, and I like, I
Speaker 2: just started to cry because I'm like, as soon as
Speaker 2: I doubt anything that I'm doing, it's like, it's not
Speaker 2: what you're doing, it's who you are. And it brought
Speaker 2: me so much joy to bring someone else joy. And
Speaker 2: that's really like, if you're an impath, that's really what
Speaker 2: you're supposed to be doing, is because if you're feeling
Speaker 2: all the time and you're surrounded by places and people
Speaker 2: that are not feeling good, it's a burden. But if
Speaker 2: you're an impath and you're creating pleasurable spaces for other people,
Speaker 2: and that are people who are truly in joy then
Speaker 2: you were walking in your purpose. And you know, there
Speaker 2: were a couple of things that just affirmed that for
Speaker 2: me and this, you know, Micosa reading, so a lot
Speaker 2: of cards that we pulled.
Speaker 1: In fact, after we supported that woman.
Speaker 2: That night, it was you know, we did our we
Speaker 2: did a self devotion ceremony where we dressed up in lingerie,
Speaker 2: we watched the sunset and you know, we danced together
Speaker 2: and we how and we feel like sensual and sexy
Speaker 2: in our bodies. And afterwards we just kind of like
Speaker 2: everybody went down and there's just Eric, Kay and I
Speaker 2: and then Aaron shout out to Aaron and our girl
Speaker 2: was up there and she was just like, I just
Speaker 2: want to tell you that you guys are walking in
Speaker 2: your purpose and I can see it and I'm really
Speaker 2: proud of you. And I just was like, you can
Speaker 2: see it, you think, so you know, like thank you,
Speaker 2: you know, thank you, and I feel that and I
Speaker 2: received that and then I pulled a card and it
Speaker 2: was like, yeah.
Speaker 1: You're walking in your purpose.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you're working, you're walking in your purpose and
Speaker 2: it may not be the conventional way way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was really powerful that moment. That moment was
Speaker 1: super powerful and we all cried.
Speaker 2: Just ride in the around the altar, in the in
Speaker 2: the like in the darkness under the moon, and then
Speaker 2: laughed hysterically, and it was just like, this is how
Speaker 2: it always has been historically, and this is a part
Speaker 2: of the culture of like the culture of being a
Speaker 2: woman that has been forgotten. And I deeply feel that
Speaker 2: it is our purpose and our calling to bring back
Speaker 2: those circles and bring back and normalize these these practices
Speaker 2: and really bring black women and brown women and women
Speaker 2: in general to the understanding that this is our in
Speaker 2: our nature and it's not some devil the devil which shit,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, it's some God shit. This
Speaker 2: is actually the best way, the best path to God
Speaker 2: is through you. And if you are avoiding parts of yourself,
Speaker 2: if you're not healing places that hurt, you will not
Speaker 2: be able to access that that that God.
Speaker 1: You can go to every fucking sermon.
Speaker 2: I swear to God, read every Bible verse.
Speaker 1: Every verse, every sermon, every Bible study, every private meeting,
Speaker 1: every counseling session. And it's so true.
Speaker 2: And speaking of that, after one of our devotion dances,
Speaker 2: we're literally all half naked. Some of us are naked
Speaker 2: like this is like just everyone's questioning, like who can come?
Speaker 1: If I'm white?
Speaker 2: Can I come? If I'm black, if I'm Christian? Like literally,
Speaker 2: everybody comes, doesn't matter how old you are, if women's
Speaker 2: oldest seventy, if women as young as twenty two, twenty one.
Speaker 2: It's like if you come in to get the medicine,
Speaker 2: it's for everybody. There are no like the roles of
Speaker 2: like age and like your career, all that shit goes
Speaker 2: out the window.
Speaker 1: We're just women girls. Really.
Speaker 2: When I looked at us in a circle, I was like,
Speaker 2: we're just little girls playing, you know, and we all
Speaker 2: deserve like space to play as little girls together and
Speaker 2: hug and like and it's just oh, so we're all
Speaker 2: standing in a circle after our session, and one of
Speaker 2: the girls is like, first of.
Speaker 1: All, first she hold a huge.
Speaker 2: Bottle don Julio out of her room right like, poured
Speaker 2: tequila in everybody's mouth. The boat drove the boat and
Speaker 2: then athur and she was like, I'd like to share
Speaker 2: something like okay, she's like Third Corinthians thirty three sixteen.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, okay.
Speaker 2: She gave us a sermon, okay, like a full sermon,
Speaker 2: and you know, it took me a minute. You know,
Speaker 2: first of all, everything everybody's welcomed. I personally am not
Speaker 2: like a Bible goer, that's not like my form of practice.
Speaker 2: But I was like, let's welcome her and like in
Speaker 2: her spiritual practice and welcome it here. And it was
Speaker 2: literally a four minute sermon and we were all like
Speaker 2: almost but ass naked, so it was kind of ironic.
Speaker 2: So it's kind of funny. So we all kind of
Speaker 2: started laughing because we're like, not us pray praying to
Speaker 2: ge in our titties out.
Speaker 1: That is plat of the blood of Christ, but and
Speaker 1: and and everyone.
Speaker 2: Because people come from so many walks of life. There
Speaker 2: are people who have been deeply traumatized from religion.
Speaker 1: There are people who are very religious.
Speaker 2: There are people who you know, initially didn't fuck with
Speaker 2: the stars and the moons, and they're like, maybe I do,
Speaker 2: you know. So it's really a good it's a really
Speaker 2: good safe place to practice acceptance of all people, of
Speaker 2: all types of things, of all practices, you know, and
Speaker 2: like be able to be like that's not for me, however,
Speaker 2: I'm here to support you, girl, you know what I mean, Like,
Speaker 2: maybe don't put the blood christ on me.
Speaker 1: But you know, if you do cool. But you know,
Speaker 1: it's just like it's a it's funny, like I'm thinking of, Yes,
Speaker 1: it's a it's a great it's a great place to
Speaker 1: put into practice acceptance and rebuilding your trust and love.
Speaker 1: Love for women, yes, for people. Know, for women, I
Speaker 1: think too, because a lot of women come like they
Speaker 1: judge each other, you know what I mean, Like we
Speaker 1: can't we don't give each other any grace, you know.
Speaker 1: And when you go into this space, this container that
Speaker 1: where you fall in love with someone, you're like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I love this trait about you. And then
Speaker 1: they do some weird shit and you're like do I
Speaker 1: love you? But then you're like, oh, I love you again.
Speaker 1: It's like you battle this thing back and forth because
Speaker 1: you're dealing with people from all different walks of life,
Speaker 1: with different personalities, and ultimately at the end there is
Speaker 1: this lesson that yes I do, and like there we
Speaker 1: have our differences, and but you're an ultimate at the
Speaker 1: end of the day. At the core, we are all
Speaker 1: just women humans having this human experience, and there's a
Speaker 1: level of patience that I think that I hope is
Speaker 1: a gift for the women that come to and acceptance
Speaker 1: and love despite whatever differences you think.
Speaker 2: You have, because you will leave with friends you would
Speaker 2: never have had Poblem regularly approached, have ever met, And
Speaker 2: it gives you this level of self awareness to say,
Speaker 2: why am.
Speaker 1: I what is it about this person I don't like?
Speaker 1: I don't even know them, and what are those real reasons?
Speaker 2: You know, even for me, I just came off this
Speaker 2: tantier retreat and uh, it's.
Speaker 1: Just it was school.
Speaker 2: So a lot of these people I'm seeing on zoom
Speaker 2: and there was one girl who's my friend and you know,
Speaker 2: she kind of irritated me on zoom because she was
Speaker 2: asking telling long stories and I was just like I'd
Speaker 2: made up in my mind like we're probably not like
Speaker 2: gonna be the besties. And then we got there and
Speaker 2: I was like, I fuck with you. And it really
Speaker 2: is a reminder that connection connection, connection, and it's something
Speaker 2: that we've grown, you know, we've alienated ourselves away from.
Speaker 2: But like, people are people, and we have to see
Speaker 2: people's people, white, black, whatever, and it's so important to
Speaker 2: be able to do that, and so often we're on
Speaker 2: our screens that we don't have the opportunity to sit
Speaker 2: and stare in somebody's eyes and then and be like, oh,
Speaker 2: your tears are my tears because I was just crying
Speaker 2: last night. Or let me hold you, let me console you.
Speaker 2: But like this idea that like existence really is a
Speaker 2: part of existence is connection, and if we try to
Speaker 2: go around that and separate ourselves from others, that's also
Speaker 2: how resentment forms, and like anger because you're not giving
Speaker 2: yourself the same self acceptance because you're not giving others
Speaker 2: the same self acceptance, I mean acceptance, anger, sickness.
Speaker 1: I just had this. I just had this thought, like
Speaker 1: of all the women in our wombs, like being connected
Speaker 1: by this like thread.
Speaker 2: Well you know what I was thinking about in the circle.
Speaker 2: I was thinking about Sylvia, and like everybody, imagine a
Speaker 2: red hold from your vagina.
Speaker 1: The earth.
Speaker 2: But like I was thinking that, like a we're connected
Speaker 2: this way. And also our wombs are connected to the
Speaker 2: center of the earth, which are connected to the umbilical
Speaker 2: cords of the trees, the roots that grow around us
Speaker 2: and support us and help us breathe, you know, And
Speaker 2: it's like we are this is a circular system, and
Speaker 2: we're part of that system.
Speaker 1: Our wombs are part of that system. They are but
Speaker 1: I think we've been so disconnected from our wombs. And
Speaker 1: when you get into a space like this near water,
Speaker 1: with all this feminine energy where women are just ready
Speaker 1: to let go, Like there's this deep connection that happens
Speaker 1: where you are able to truly accept everyone for every weird,
Speaker 1: fucked up, funny, strange, beautiful little part of them, you know.
Speaker 1: And that's why the circles are important, because women, we
Speaker 1: need to not only connect back to ourselves, but we
Speaker 1: need to connect back to one another, and we need
Speaker 1: to forgive one another and we need to trust one another.
Speaker 1: Because I've seen it happen. I've seen the power when
Speaker 1: we all are just in flow, like when we're sitting
Speaker 1: around our dinner table and we're flowing, and it's just
Speaker 1: it's what it's about, and it's why we've it's what
Speaker 1: they don't want us to have, and they've definitely torn
Speaker 1: that part away. And so I'm excited when I see
Speaker 1: other women throwing having retreats to like so many women
Speaker 1: are awakening to this idea that we need to sit together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the womb is what connects us and you know,
Speaker 2: like this is badass birth in August, and so I'm happy.
Speaker 2: We're starting this way just with like the womb, and
Speaker 2: you know, it's our heart. It really is one and
Speaker 2: the same. And if you could disconnect from your womb
Speaker 2: and the power that it holds, then you're kind of
Speaker 2: disconnecting and hardening your heart. And I realized that when
Speaker 2: we can come together as our true selves and connect
Speaker 2: in a circle and like really embrace like each other
Speaker 2: and each other's femininity, it births something. And like like
Speaker 2: just like Eric and I, we talk about this a lot,
Speaker 2: that our relationship birthed this, this studio birth, this podcast birth,
Speaker 2: this sisterhood, and really it's an entity that was created,
Speaker 2: you know, when we linked up, When we linked up
Speaker 2: and we decided going to be true friends and really
Speaker 2: allow each other like this true bubble of space to
Speaker 2: show up as like something higher than us took place.
Speaker 2: And that's exactly what happens when we're in these circles,
Speaker 2: is that an entity is created, and it's it's really
Speaker 2: putting back the pieces of this ancient connection that we
Speaker 2: have to sisterhood to each other, and it's like it
Speaker 2: really is healing the world. You can't heal the world
Speaker 2: without healing the women, and you can't heal the women
Speaker 2: without healing the relationships that we have with one another.
Speaker 2: And I'm just like so grateful that our connection, our
Speaker 2: entity birthed these spaces birth, the good vibratory birth, this
Speaker 2: power that we both innately have begin to recognize and
Speaker 2: uncover through our relationship. And now we've had the opportunity
Speaker 2: to like allow it to uncover the relationships with other
Speaker 2: people and the power of other people. And like, there
Speaker 2: are friends from the retreat, Bessie's two girls came back
Speaker 2: from the two girls that came together, were on a
Speaker 2: trip together, came back together. And the truth was, I
Speaker 2: didn't even realize they were like that close even during
Speaker 2: the retreat. But they traveled together, they stayed together, and
Speaker 2: they've been in contact, and like that happens all the time,
Speaker 2: but we underestimate how important that is to our healing,
Speaker 2: and we don't take we prioritize.
Speaker 1: We can't do it alone. We cannot do it alone.
Speaker 1: You can't hmmm. That was beautifully said, No, thank you,
Speaker 1: We're just think blum power a mo ma ma ma
Speaker 1: ma ma ma, ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma.
Speaker 2: Mom hm ah. We just chanted the the seeds for
Speaker 2: fire element, which is at your root chakra. It's your
Speaker 2: sex chakra, and it is for magnetization. So if you
Speaker 2: want to magnetize something, bring it to you. That's how
Speaker 2: you tap in, tapping into the elements of the of
Speaker 2: yourself and of the earth. So such a witch, such
Speaker 2: a witch?
Speaker 1: Dare you use nature and elements to conjure up things
Speaker 1: for yourself? I know? How crazy? Why else wud God
Speaker 1: put him here? Why would you do that? Why would
Speaker 1: you use what God put here? How dare you the
Speaker 1: devil God to a lab and make something up? Generic
Speaker 1: is how you do it? That's what Jesus wanted. Plastic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just.
Speaker 2: It's the simple things that are truly going to be
Speaker 2: our saviors. And that's the ship that God herself made.
Speaker 2: Keep it simple, baby, fire, earth, water, space, air. I
Speaker 2: was thinking that today actually, like, truly keep it simple,
Speaker 2: keep the shit simple. Wellness does not need to be
Speaker 2: your wellness, your spiritual physical That does not have to
Speaker 2: be a twenty two step routine. Like you can go
Speaker 2: to the ocean and feel good. You can masturbate and
Speaker 2: feel good, you know, like I can hula hoop this
Speaker 2: morning and that brought me joy and set me off.
Speaker 2: This morning because I woke up with attitude and then
Speaker 2: I had hula hooped and I felt so much better
Speaker 2: and I was like, this was the simplest shit I
Speaker 2: could have done free inspired by my daughter crazy.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean I think we need to Well we
Speaker 1: all know obviously they're like, you know, they're the closest
Speaker 1: thing to God, right, we all say that. And what
Speaker 1: do they do all day? Play and eat and be merry. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I think that's too why the retreat is special too,
Speaker 1: because it does. It feels like adult camp, and we
Speaker 1: do kind of keep it simple. It's very basic. It's
Speaker 1: not basic because you know, we're like, you know, some
Speaker 1: lux bitches, but basic in the ideas of the practices
Speaker 1: that we're encouraging. Hey, scream, bitch luxury amenities. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: The other day I was medicine. I needed to scream,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I got my pillow and I
Speaker 1: screamed so fucking loud, and I was like, I need
Speaker 1: to text the discord and tell them scream here today.
Speaker 1: I'm going to is it scream in a pillow Challenge.
Speaker 1: I think women need to scream and pillows at least
Speaker 1: once a week. Actually, if you're listening right now, I'm
Speaker 1: going to encourage you. You're in your card, in your car.
Speaker 1: If you're in your car, car, yes, but you're driving,
Speaker 1: and sometimes you got to get out of control. So
Speaker 1: I want to encourage you to get that pillow, put
Speaker 1: your face in it, and scream for at least one minute.
Speaker 1: Matter of fact, set a timer, because just when you
Speaker 1: scream for a minute, no it's not you just have
Speaker 1: to take breaks. But just when you think you've gotten out,
Speaker 1: there's more. And I think that's also kind of like
Speaker 1: what I've experienced at the retreat when we do our workshop,
Speaker 1: is that there's there's always more, you know, And as
Speaker 1: women like, we don't release in that way.
Speaker 2: Especially don't scream because you think it's crazy exactly.
Speaker 1: I think I'm crazy exactly. But why were we given
Speaker 1: these voices to only speak at a certain decimal all
Speaker 1: the time that makes people feel comfortable. No, we were
Speaker 1: given it to fucking use it. And I think some people,
Speaker 1: like not most people, they have never screamed ever, except
Speaker 1: in maybe an argument, right, you know, and even then
Speaker 1: it wasn't loud enough, it wasn't really what you felt,
Speaker 1: and so you still or okay, it just comes up,
Speaker 1: so you still suppressed it, and you suppressed it.
Speaker 2: We don't say certain things, yeah, because you're worried about
Speaker 2: the other person's feelings. That that's you know what I
Speaker 2: realized too. We do We did to mescal ceremony and
Speaker 2: you go into a pitch black dark oven. Essentially there's
Speaker 2: hot rocks in the center and you pour water over
Speaker 2: roam from shamans. And the first thing I noticed is
Speaker 2: that the darkness gives people power over their voice. Obviously
Speaker 2: it's the hot ass circumstances too, but it's the darkness
Speaker 2: where you get to hear people's sounds, their primal groans,
Speaker 2: their moanes that were in any where. If I could
Speaker 2: see you or you wouldn't do it. If I could
Speaker 2: identify who that noise was coming from, I would be more,
Speaker 2: you know, more self conscious than to do it. And like,
Speaker 2: it's crazy how we just I don't know the word
Speaker 2: I'm looking for, like deprive ourselves of the privilege of
Speaker 2: using our voice, even on a very primal sound level.
Speaker 2: But you see kids do it all the time. They
Speaker 2: throw tantrum, scream, don't give a fuck where they're at
Speaker 2: target and you're in the first thing, you're like shut
Speaker 2: the fuck off. You're embarrassing us, you know. Oh yeah, no,
Speaker 2: it's true.
Speaker 1: And that's what I'm saying, Like, that's why kids they
Speaker 1: they are, they're so such powerful beings, and that's why
Speaker 1: it's so important to try to preserve that part of
Speaker 1: them and trying to awaken that part of us. Screaming
Speaker 1: is like again, keeping it simple. It's such a basic concept,
Speaker 1: such a basic release that you could do to make
Speaker 1: yourself feel better.
Speaker 2: I just realized, like the entire retreat is physically and
Speaker 2: spiritually a rebirthing. We literally get naked as if we're birthing,
Speaker 2: We literally submerge in water. We literally scream and grunt
Speaker 2: and moan and laugh, and it's like we really let
Speaker 2: these this darkness pass through us, and we support each
Speaker 2: other in birth, but it's really the birth of ourselves.
Speaker 2: And Erica and I are the duels, and all the
Speaker 2: women who attend are the duels to one another. To
Speaker 2: usher out these parts of us that we've forgotten, and
Speaker 2: the parts of us that we've forgotten, to let go
Speaker 2: of the pain, the disappointments, you know, the attachment to
Speaker 2: things we no longer want to be attached to, that
Speaker 2: we all share common common ground on and like the
Speaker 2: entire that's what it is like. Retreat is a duelied
Speaker 2: rebirth of your room, of yourself and releasing the parts
Speaker 2: of you that no longer serve you and calling back
Speaker 2: in the inner child. It's a rebirth of your inner child.
Speaker 1: And it does.
Speaker 2: It takes free to be in a childlike state. It
Speaker 2: takes you to be at a pool in the sunshine
Speaker 2: on the beach with your girls. It takes you to
Speaker 2: be maybe with what girls you don't know anymore, Like
Speaker 2: you don't know at all, because you have the courage
Speaker 2: to be who you were as a child.
Speaker 1: And uh, it's really really, really beautiful.
Speaker 2: And it is nice to have the children there because
Speaker 2: it's a reminder.
Speaker 1: A reminder. Yeah, it's a reminder be like them, be
Speaker 1: like this. Yeah. And they didn't have any problem telling
Speaker 1: us their feelings either, because that's the same thing with kids.
Speaker 1: Like our kids were like, this is how we feel.
Speaker 1: You're not paying attention.
Speaker 2: Why did you have us come out here? I could
Speaker 2: have done this at home, is what Luno said. I said,
Speaker 2: what would you have been doing at your grandmother's house?
Speaker 1: Playing? She said, no, I'm going to the jump zone.
Speaker 1: I said, who was going to take you? She said Murray.
Speaker 2: I said, well, Marie is here, and and like her
Speaker 2: saying you and I'm like, well, you're in a floor
Speaker 2: to ceiling windowed castle off the side of the ocean cliff. Miss,
Speaker 2: You're pretty lucky. I'd rather be playing here than somewhere else.
Speaker 2: But it was like those are her feelings, and like
Speaker 2: the fact that she had the intelligence and the vocabulary to.
Speaker 1: Express Hey, bitch, you could have brought.
Speaker 2: Me a little bit later in the game, you know,
Speaker 2: like I didn't need to be here if you weren't
Speaker 2: going to be spending time with us. And so like
Speaker 2: we would do days of healing and then go do
Speaker 2: fourteen tiktoks with our kids, you know, And that's like
Speaker 2: that's another thing, being allowing each other to unravel and
Speaker 2: express the feelings and normalizing listening to your daughter's feelings,
Speaker 2: to your sister's feelings, you know. Even you know, our
Speaker 2: nanny was like having a day because she's watching two
Speaker 2: kids all day, being hidden, and she.
Speaker 1: Was like, I was just having a hard day.
Speaker 2: I think it's the new moon, and you know, a
Speaker 2: guy was bothering me. Whatever she was going through, and
Speaker 2: I was like girl, you have to express that. You
Speaker 2: have to talk to us like this is a part
Speaker 2: of the village, and it's like, no matter what's the relationship,
Speaker 2: you know, even if it's not your closest friend, hold
Speaker 2: space for the next woman, Hey are you good? I'm
Speaker 2: the type of bitch if I'm walking down the street
Speaker 2: I can see a stranger crying, like are you good?
Speaker 1: Are you okay?
Speaker 2: I will hug a stranger, you know whatever, But like
Speaker 2: some sometimes we forget to do that or like I
Speaker 2: don't have time for this today.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know. She got her own problems,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: And it's just like even in a work environment, even
Speaker 2: with each other, even with their kids, in all spaces,
Speaker 2: be compassionate and empathetic and recognize that, like it just
Speaker 2: be having bad days because we're moody, because we feel everything.
Speaker 2: And that's a part of being a woman, you know.
Speaker 2: It's just so we are like the water and we
Speaker 2: can take on a lot of spaces and a lot
Speaker 2: of forms, but we're also very easily imprinted upon, and
Speaker 2: you have to be like able to like guard it
Speaker 2: and also give grace to others and listen and be
Speaker 2: like you're right daughter.
Speaker 1: I thought that.
Speaker 2: I was like, listen, I thought that you would like
Speaker 2: to be here with your friend. We're working right now,
Speaker 2: but I'm we're at the end, you know, we have
Speaker 2: time at the end of.
Speaker 1: The trip together.
Speaker 2: And that's all I could offer her is the truth,
Speaker 2: and the truth is overall, she doesn't really give a
Speaker 2: fuck about this big ass villa on the side of
Speaker 2: the ocean.
Speaker 1: She just wants to hang out with her mom.
Speaker 2: And she proved it because later on the last stretch
Speaker 2: of the trip, my dear loving friend booked an airbnb.
Speaker 1: In the middle of I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: It was on booking dot com, and booking dot com
Speaker 1: had five stars, had lots of reviews. I did not
Speaker 1: know that it was very local.
Speaker 2: We were on a budget, so it was very budget friendly.
Speaker 2: It was nice side, it was nice on the inside.
Speaker 2: On the outside it was sketch and I was like,
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, just on I think you're
Speaker 2: bougier than me. I'm boogier than you, because I was
Speaker 2: before we went, and I was like, cancel it, find
Speaker 2: another one. You're gonna You're gonna take me from the
Speaker 2: side of the ocean mansion to.
Speaker 1: This what the fuck we're grounding. I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: two grounded.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: And so we went inside and the girls were like,
Speaker 1: I love it. It's so amazing. Oh my god, it's beat Wait. Wait.
Speaker 1: The best part was when they opened the windows and
Speaker 1: the backyard was not It was like it was like
Speaker 1: a broken down garage of our next door neighbor, like
Speaker 1: a fucked up, like lot, overgrown. It was not good
Speaker 1: at all. They're like, the view is beautiful.
Speaker 2: They're like, oh my god, there's so many hide and
Speaker 2: seek spots. I was like, what the fuck? I was like,
Speaker 2: am I a bitch? Because I was great.
Speaker 1: They were like they were just happy to get out
Speaker 1: of the other spot that this means Mom's not working
Speaker 1: it right.
Speaker 2: They're like, they're going to be our friend. I mean,
Speaker 2: I'm sure they found the reason talk shit to us
Speaker 2: twenty four hours later, but it was a true testimony
Speaker 2: to they don't give a fuck, you know, but also
Speaker 2: just yeah, like the feelings, you know, accepting that even
Speaker 2: people you work with, even people, everybody's gonna have feelings,
Speaker 2: and why not validate them and give them a hug
Speaker 2: and move on instead of taking it personally?
Speaker 1: Amen, Sister, let the.
Speaker 2: Church say amen, Do we need one of those buttons
Speaker 2: like pasture pasture weed, so like.
Speaker 1: That you put it right here? Hell yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I have to wear headphones. No, you know, refuse to
Speaker 1: wear headphones. We're not those podcasters. This is a TV show.
Speaker 1: Anytime we go to a podcast, DUDEO, they try to
Speaker 1: give us headphones, We're like, we don't do them. We
Speaker 1: don't do those. I have an afro. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's really gonna work for me, then.
Speaker 2: We're gonna be like our audio isn't good like bit
Speaker 2: because you shouldn't be wearing your fucking headphones.
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, I'm really excited for our retreat in Costa Rica.
Speaker 1: I can't wait. It's like our It's like our home base.
Speaker 2: It just keeps evolving, and it's really beautiful to witness.
Speaker 1: Now that we've gone somewhere else and coming back there
Speaker 1: feels even more epic. For some reason, I don't know why.
Speaker 1: I'm just super excited to invite the women back to
Speaker 1: like our home, our home base. Yeah. So if you're
Speaker 1: interested in coming, if the good vibe sounds like your vibe,
Speaker 1: make sure you check us out in Costa Rica February
Speaker 1: first through the sixth or February eighth through the thirteenth.
Speaker 1: It's going to be everything we just talked about plus more.
Speaker 1: It's such a beautiful, beautiful property, such a beautiful space.
Speaker 1: All the women that come are supposed to be there.
Speaker 1: It's like this sacred sister sorority, spiritual sorority energy that
Speaker 1: gets created when when we link up and we let
Speaker 1: God kind of play the conductor of Okay, you are
Speaker 1: going to be here this you're gonna come on week one,
Speaker 1: You're gonna come on week two. Even like this last
Speaker 1: retreat one girl was supposed to be in week two
Speaker 1: and then switched to week one, and I was like,
Speaker 1: you were supposed to be in this week for a reason.
Speaker 1: So I'm just excited to bring you guys back to
Speaker 1: Costa Rica. Let's make sure you check out the link
Speaker 1: in our episode to get the details on that. We
Speaker 1: pulled a card at the top of the show. We
Speaker 1: did what was it? Oh? Got me a little? I
Speaker 1: know back would be Hitt and girl.
Speaker 2: This is the two Pentacles now two to one. Sorry
Speaker 2: the two of Wand's.
Speaker 1: Shout out to Bitty Tiero. Should we email them one
Speaker 1: day and tell them we like we use them exclusively
Speaker 1: on the show We Can Trouble. I don't think we've
Speaker 1: ever even told them we should.
Speaker 2: Upright means future planning, progress, decisions, discovery, and HM. The
Speaker 2: Two of Wan's takes the spark of inspiration from the
Speaker 2: Ace of Wands and turns it into a clear action plan.
Speaker 2: You went through the discovery phase, and now what you
Speaker 2: want to manifest? Now you need to figure out how
Speaker 2: you're exploring your options and carefully plotting out the path ahead,
Speaker 2: accounting for all possibilities and potential challenges. You are open
Speaker 2: to growth and exploring new territories so long as you
Speaker 2: maintain a level of certainty that your efforts will work
Speaker 2: out in the end. When the Two of WANs appears
Speaker 2: in a Taro reading, you're not ready to make your move.
Speaker 2: It's more importan and that you establish a clear plan
Speaker 2: before proceeding. The Two of One's is also about discovery,
Speaker 2: particularly as you step outside of your comfort zone and
Speaker 2: explore new worlds and experiences. It may take courage to
Speaker 2: set out, but this card gives you the confidence of
Speaker 2: self knowledge. You know what your goal is and you
Speaker 2: are sure of its eventual fulfillment. Let your intuition and
Speaker 2: passion guide you as you confirm your next steps. It
Speaker 2: considers your It indicates you're considering longer term goals and
Speaker 2: aspirations and are ready to plan what you need to
Speaker 2: do to achieve them.
Speaker 1: Sounds about right.
Speaker 2: Also, shout out to Mahogany Tiro all brown and black
Speaker 2: people on the deck our favorite deck.
Speaker 1: Well that resonates with I think, where I'm at, where
Speaker 1: we're at.
Speaker 2: Yeah, long term plans. We've been doing this for five years, Darling.
Speaker 2: Our baby is five years old. Entity be birthed, Entity
Speaker 2: be birth is five years old.
Speaker 1: Wow. Shout out to everybody who's been listening for five years. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know it's been quite a journey. If you're listening,
Speaker 1: I mean obviously hello all new listeners, But if you're
Speaker 1: an og listener, I love you. I fucking love you.
Speaker 1: I really do love you. Thank you. Thank you for
Speaker 1: staking by us, thank you for riding with us. Thank
Speaker 1: you for not judging us or judging us, and then
Speaker 1: not judging us again allowing us to be that process
Speaker 1: for you. And I'm just I'm just grateful for this
Speaker 1: space that I've been given to feel safe to share
Speaker 1: the inner workings of my thoughts, my life, my mistakes,
Speaker 1: my judgments, and I'm high me too, and I'm high,
Speaker 1: So thank you. I'm high at org, so thank you.
Speaker 1: I'm high. Well, what did you do? You? Letting me get
Speaker 1: high at work guys as hard as my end and
Speaker 1: talk to my friend every week? Thank you appreciate that.
Speaker 1: I really do, I really do.
Speaker 2: Who knows, like if we'd even been friends had it
Speaker 2: not been for the podcast like real friends.
Speaker 1: Well, something told me to go to that bathroom, something
Speaker 1: told me to come to that bar, or something brought
Speaker 1: me to your instagram somehow I didn't know to I
Speaker 1: never saw you really before that, and so it was
Speaker 1: all as it should be. Imperfect timing.
Speaker 2: And thank God for like Luna and Iri being able
Speaker 2: to have like the sisterhood that they have and be
Speaker 2: able to grow up grow up with each other.
Speaker 1: I was looking at them in Mexico and I was like,
Speaker 1: they've known each other their whole life, like they they
Speaker 1: will always have that and continue to have that, And
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see how that evolves, what that
Speaker 1: looks like as adults, teenagers and ten year olds, and
Speaker 1: what however it goes. You know what a blessing is? Sisterhood? Well,
Speaker 1: are you ready to get out of here, my love?
Speaker 1: I am. I have some work to do.
Speaker 2: I have a thirty page paper due, so gosh, college.
Speaker 1: I'm in college?
Speaker 2: Is I'm almost a tantric practitioner and sexologists.
Speaker 1: I love that. Oh my god, looks like you have
Speaker 1: a little like mole right here and it looked very
Speaker 1: you look like for some reason, you look very official.
Speaker 2: If I can see you, I'm Jamill Mapp, the tantric
Speaker 2: practitioner and sexologists. How can I help you? How can
Speaker 2: I help you vagina? How can improve your sex life?
Speaker 1: How can I improve your pleasure? How can I help
Speaker 1: you embody every juicy part of life, joy, sex, your sex.
Speaker 2: Ah, you can start by saying, I'm going to start
Speaker 2: all my sessions.
Speaker 1: When we were in the temescal at the retreat, I
Speaker 1: literally heard and I don't know who it was, but
Speaker 1: I know how every person sounds during sex. And that
Speaker 1: was the craziest thing to be in a womb and
Speaker 1: hearing everyone's sex sounds. It was like I felt overwhelmed,
Speaker 1: Like my heart started pounding, like I was my heart
Speaker 1: was racing. I felt like this energy, like building and
Speaker 1: building and building.
Speaker 2: That's the thing about tantra that really like magical, like
Speaker 2: whichy shit that happens in tantra is that it starts
Speaker 2: to teach you and like unveil the power of sex
Speaker 2: as women and like the power of pleasure, sexual pleasure.
Speaker 2: And that doesn't mean necessarily in you know, act in
Speaker 2: act the sex act with someone else or like you know,
Speaker 2: but just the energy, the energy, this life force energy,
Speaker 2: and it also kind of it starts to help you cultivate,
Speaker 2: like just destigmatizing it and not not not always having
Speaker 2: to be erotic. And how even in unit like even
Speaker 2: for like our self devotion ceremony, showing up in our
Speaker 2: sexual essence and moving sexually and like sweating and.
Speaker 1: Moaning and like doing it in.
Speaker 2: A non erotic but erotic platonic space is powerful. It
Speaker 2: is the exercise of the womb, you know, and like
Speaker 2: we have to exercise that sex, that sex chock remove
Speaker 2: it because that is really, especially as black women, like
Speaker 2: something that's been taken from us quite literally, and it's
Speaker 2: on a cellular level. We require that we have to
Speaker 2: build back up that that muscle memory, that spiritual memory
Speaker 2: of like how powerful that is without like thinking it's
Speaker 2: gross or nasty or lesbian or whatever. The fuck things
Speaker 2: people make it because I'm sure it's like people listening
Speaker 2: to this are.
Speaker 1: Like what the fuck are they doing at that retreat?
Speaker 1: But like just like having it be for you and
Speaker 1: not for an end result of something else, right, I
Speaker 1: think that's what people think, like, oh, you want that
Speaker 1: because you want attention, or you want to get fucked,
Speaker 1: or you want right, it's all about everything outside of yourself,
Speaker 1: like when you when we're in these when we're doing
Speaker 1: these ceremonies, it's really about kind of building up that
Speaker 1: sexual energy for yourself, in yourself, with each other and together,
Speaker 1: and there's no end result, there's no like except that
Speaker 1: you feel you sweat it out. There is a result
Speaker 1: for yourself. It's not for anything else. And I think
Speaker 1: even as women, like if you are listening to this
Speaker 1: and you're you automatically think because I think women think
Speaker 1: if women come together and they're doing like sexy shit,
Speaker 1: are they like lesbians?
Speaker 2: Are they like it's something nasty happening there? And it's
Speaker 2: like no, Then we went downstairs and ate dinner, eat
Speaker 2: delicious dinner, and I cried. There's just like a sensual
Speaker 2: aspect of like being in tune your sexual essence without
Speaker 2: having to give it away. And we've been so tainted
Speaker 2: too to be thinking that that it means that we
Speaker 2: want attention, that it means you want to get fucked
Speaker 2: it literally, we have we have come up so far
Speaker 2: from it because it's a form of protection. We've had
Speaker 2: to protect ourselves in places because we haven't been safe
Speaker 2: because historically bad things have happened to women who are
Speaker 2: sexual or sensual. But it's you have to remember that
Speaker 2: that is not the truest essence of it, and that's
Speaker 2: not how it's supposed to be. And being in those
Speaker 2: type of environments and cultivating those type of ceremonies and
Speaker 2: just energy is powerful.
Speaker 1: And I can just see tribes women.
Speaker 2: Doing it all over the world in ancient times in
Speaker 2: very little clothing.
Speaker 1: But just like bringing back the sex, bring back the sex,
Speaker 1: bring back sex again, I'm bringing sex back, bringing sex, feedback,
Speaker 1: bringing sex back.
Speaker 2: I'm brilliant sex back, bringing sex back to the woman.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make those red Donald Trump hats that's say,
Speaker 1: bring back sex again, make sex, make sex, makes sex
Speaker 1: great again, make sex pleasurable again, bring back sex, make
Speaker 1: sex good again, good again. We're gonna work on work
Speaker 1: in progress. Oh my gosh. Anyway, I love you, I
Speaker 1: love you, thank you, thank you, thank you guys, and
Speaker 1: we'll see you next week. Make sure you go rate
Speaker 1: and review us on Apple Podcast, check out The Retreat,
Speaker 1: check out our cute ass merch and see you next week.
Speaker 1: Just moving up, Elana J.
Speaker 2: Sologala record The Lallos and Elas
Speaker 1: M hmm