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Speaker 1: Los Angeles. Are you ready to confess? Because guess what

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Speaker 1: we are going back on tour. That's right, La is

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Speaker 1: our first stop on October twenty first at the tear

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Speaker 1: Grand Ballroom. Doors open at six o'clock. Bring your homies,

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Speaker 1: bring your girls, bring your partner, and bring those confessions

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Speaker 1: because the night is going to be filled with naughty

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Speaker 1: little secrets. And you know how we turn up at

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Speaker 1: a good mom show, So I cannot wait to see you.

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Speaker 1: That's October twenty first at the tear a Gram Ballroom.

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Speaker 1: Click the link in this episode description and get your

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Speaker 1: tickets today.

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Speaker 2: And like, even just as moms, we say things and

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Speaker 2: we plant seeds and then we keep going and we

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Speaker 2: hope that it we hope that it like imprints on them,

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Speaker 2: but it does. And you know, this brings me to

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Speaker 2: our affirmation. Lynna was having having it, like being scared

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Speaker 2: to go to sleep and saying she was scared, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm powerful.

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Speaker 1: Nothing's coming to get me. I'm safe.

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Speaker 2: I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm powerful. Nothing's coming to get me.

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Speaker 1: I'm safe.

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Speaker 2: And like a few weeks later she was like getting nervous,

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Speaker 2: like she was getting scared of something and out of nowhere,

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Speaker 2: she was like, I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm powerful. Nothing's

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Speaker 2: coming to get me. I'm safe.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, yes, oh my gosh, remembered it.

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Speaker 1: I don't remember it. Welcome back to good Mom's bad Choices.

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Speaker 1: I'm Erica and I'm Mila. Happy Humpday, guys, Happy Wednesday.

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Speaker 1: How are you feeling, my love? I feel good. We

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Speaker 1: have a new couch in our studio today. It's yellow,

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Speaker 1: which makes me happy, so I feel I feel.

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Speaker 2: Jubilant, jubilant, jubilant, jubilant, jubilee, jubilee. This is what happens

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Speaker 2: when we try to use new words. That's why we

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Speaker 2: keep using the same twelve big words that we know.

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Speaker 1: Container and shut up. If you are watching on YouTube

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Speaker 1: or you're not, go to go to YouTube because we

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Speaker 1: look cute today. I'm wearing one of our merch items.

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Speaker 1: I have our hat on. Make sure you subscribe to

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Speaker 1: our YouTube channel. We're kind of cute. We got like

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Speaker 1: a cute little like twenty five thousand subscribers on YouTube

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Speaker 1: over there. Wow. If you haven't subscribed yet, come on

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Speaker 1: and I'd be commenting back. I'd be in there. I

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Speaker 1: be in the comments on YouTube cursing people out a

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Speaker 1: little bit. So are YouTubers mean, Yeah, they are, because

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Speaker 1: it's like it's like the dark Web. I feel like

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Speaker 1: there's no real profiles. They can hide better. Yeah. So

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Speaker 1: if you got cursed out in our YouTube comments, just

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Speaker 1: know that was me. It was me. But if you

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Speaker 1: said nice things, I also said nice things back. I'm

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Speaker 1: usually the one cursing out people on Instagram.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting flagged every time, even though people are disrespecting me.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, you know what, I have a problem with this.

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Speaker 2: So you can come here and talk shit, but I

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Speaker 2: can't respond.

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Speaker 1: Do you go on? You go on the comment section

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Speaker 1: deep dive of Instagram. Mila will send me text like

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Speaker 1: she'll screenshot shit and text me and I'm like, where

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Speaker 1: what is this post? Even from She's like, it's the

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Speaker 1: one with Jordan's sparks. They said that we're witches and

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Speaker 1: they said we're all going to hell for pulling tarot cards.

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Speaker 2: Recently I went through those text messages. I'm like, first

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Speaker 2: of all, poor fucking Jordan. Second of all, the logic

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Speaker 2: is crazy, Like every time I think like religion is

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Speaker 2: a dying breed, I see these ridiculous things. It's like

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Speaker 2: Jordan's save Yourself the tarot cards. I'm like, do you

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Speaker 2: Someone was like the moon, the stars, the moon, the

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Speaker 2: stars and the tarot. I was like, who in the

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Speaker 2: fuck do you think made the moon and the stars,

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Speaker 2: witch and the tarot? And I was like, you do

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Speaker 2: realize the Bible was created by a bunch of profits

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Speaker 2: who got downloads. I'm like, sounds like magical, which shit

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Speaker 2: to me?

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Speaker 1: She did even she wasn't even a tarot car that

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Speaker 1: she posted a picture of. It was like a picture

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Speaker 1: got his card. It was like a picture of a snake,

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Speaker 1: I know, but it was a card. It was a

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Speaker 1: snake on a card. It's about like shedding old skin.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you guys are slow and your titty is

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Speaker 1: about to pop out at any moment. I just know it.

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Speaker 1: I can see it. The nipple is about to go

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Speaker 1: to war with that time.

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Speaker 2: Don't hang on my bottom cleavage, you know. I just

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Speaker 2: came to the conclusion like the Internet is a dumb place,

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Speaker 2: especially leaving such a We just got back from our retreat.

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Speaker 2: I'm wearing a hat, my hair is not done, and

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Speaker 2: I'm also still my Mexico vibes slash Madonna DJ makes

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Speaker 2: the people come together.

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Speaker 1: OW remember that. I hope she's okay. I need to

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Speaker 1: do a check in.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe you should update me because you're random updates

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Speaker 2: with no end.

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Speaker 1: Listen. I got I got a mess. I got a

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Speaker 1: post saying Madonna was not okay and that she was

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Speaker 1: shitting on herself. So and then she was totally needed

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Speaker 1: to know and I was like, what the Madonna's a

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Speaker 1: motherfucking legend. We can't lose Madonna. There's certain people we

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Speaker 1: just can't afford to lose Madonna, Jamie FOXX, Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: I have a news for you. Angela Bassett. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: lose you know.

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Speaker 2: I'm for I can't afford to lose Angela Bassett. We're

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Speaker 2: losing everyone I know, but including us. This is not forever,

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Speaker 2: This isn't temporary.

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Speaker 1: Oh I'm usually the dark one.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna lose everyone and everything not lose. They will

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Speaker 2: transition and you will no longer be able to be

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Speaker 2: with them in the physical.

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Speaker 1: I know. I had that thought today. I was staring

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Speaker 1: at my child as she slept this morning, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm not going to be here.

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Speaker 2: That's the scariest thing on earth to look at your

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Speaker 2: child and be like, oh my god.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to be here, but you're going to

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Speaker 1: be here without me, without me? Yeah, I'm like, are

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Speaker 1: you gonna be okay?

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Speaker 2: I always say this, being a parent is a highly

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Speaker 2: scary liability because once you have a kid, it's a

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Speaker 2: liability outside of yourself that you think should you could

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Speaker 2: do about it. You could just protect it, hopefully teach it,

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Speaker 2: and if shit happens, you got to deal with it.

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Speaker 2: Everything that comes ooh darkness. But I think that's the

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Speaker 2: part of the enlightenment, right, like not having an attachment

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Speaker 2: to anything, and not like not an attachment to your kids,

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Speaker 2: because obviously, like there's healthy attachment, but just understanding that

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Speaker 2: we are uh indestructible, we are infinity, Like we exist

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Speaker 2: no matter what, forever, over and over again in the

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Speaker 2: ethers or in this amazing human form where I could

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Speaker 2: have really good under cleavage.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I've been staring at my child as she slept

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Speaker 1: the past two nights and just thinking about how difficult

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Speaker 1: it is to stay present all the time. And you know,

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Speaker 1: this weekend I went to see the Barbie movie and

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Speaker 1: I actually left my commentary on the Barbie movie and

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Speaker 1: our Patreon, So make sure you go check out Patreon.

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Speaker 1: Very important commentary for me because I am a movie critic.

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Speaker 1: If you don't know, and I was. When I was

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Speaker 1: watching the movie, I was looking at her and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my God, like time has flown. I

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Speaker 1: remember the days of me playing with barbiees and dolls,

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Speaker 1: and now I have this, and now I have a

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Speaker 1: child that is playing with maybe not Barbie so much anymore,

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Speaker 1: but just how time evolves, traditions somehow stay the same,

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Speaker 1: playing with dolls, all these different things that kind of

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Speaker 1: get passed on along the way.

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Speaker 2: Who started playing with dolls? I have no idea that's

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Speaker 2: the witchcraft.

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Speaker 1: Is it witchcraft? I don't know. I just omated it.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's witchcraft. Everybody thinks everything's witchcraft, might

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Speaker 1: as well go with it.

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Speaker 2: I think it's more so congascination, imagination or conditioning.

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Speaker 1: Because about it. I think it's a mixture of imagination

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Speaker 1: and conditioning, because then no one gave boys dolls. Well,

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Speaker 1: if you did it, well, they gave him action figures.

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Speaker 1: You know, they gave girls cards to play moms. Did

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Speaker 1: they give us girls dolls?

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Speaker 2: To play moms or did we just get the dolls

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Speaker 2: and then play fucking moms because that's what we saw.

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Speaker 2: We imitated our moms maybe and like the family and

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Speaker 2: then they hunched.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe, I mean, yeah, and that's what you know.

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Speaker 1: I did appreciate that they addressed a lot of this

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Speaker 1: stuff in the movie, and I actually feel like the

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Speaker 1: movie was not for kids at all. I actually wouldn't

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Speaker 1: recommend it for a Luna called me.

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Speaker 2: The first thing she said to me on FaceTime Barbie

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Speaker 2: was inappropriate.

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Speaker 1: I was like, Barbie was inappropriate. I was like, what

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Speaker 1: do you mean?

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Speaker 2: She said, Nana, you tell her. I was like, what

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Speaker 2: the fuck is Barbie doing. She's like, she's like they

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Speaker 2: said bad words. It's like what words? And her Nana

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Speaker 2: was like, vagina, penis and the effort. And I was like, Lona,

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Speaker 2: vagina and penis are not bad words. First of all,

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Speaker 2: are both of our children who hear us curse all

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Speaker 2: day long? I know that's why my sensitive as child,

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Speaker 2: I guess we don't say like vagina and penis all

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Speaker 2: day But I keep telling her that these are not

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Speaker 2: bad words. And I was like, I was like, everybody

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Speaker 2: has either a vagina or penis, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, I don't even know why they

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Speaker 2: were saying it, because Barbie don't even got a vagina.

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Speaker 1: Well that was that's what they said. She said, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's what they said. I was like, well, that's a fact.

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Speaker 1: I do feel like a lot of the jokes totally

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Speaker 1: went over Actually, I would say like ninety percent of

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Speaker 1: the jokes went over Irie's head. And it was more

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Speaker 1: so about just like a nostalgic like it was like

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Speaker 1: entertainment for them, Like there were moments of dance, there

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Speaker 1: were moments of singing, and then Barbie looking cute and

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Speaker 1: also hopefully the idea that Barbie is not should not

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Speaker 1: be regarded as the societal norm of beauty hopefully penetrated

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Speaker 1: her little mind. However, I'm not sure if she was

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Speaker 1: able to fully grasp that, although that was a big

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Speaker 1: part of the message. Even though that like it's Barbie

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Speaker 1: really thought that like she was saving women's lives and

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Speaker 1: empowering women in her Barbie world, and then she went

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Speaker 1: to like Earth and realized that, like she's fucked up

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Speaker 1: the world. So it was like a rude awakening because

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Speaker 1: she's living in like this Barbie role of like I

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Speaker 1: help women feel powerful and every day is great and

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Speaker 1: that's not And then she went into the Row worlds

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Speaker 1: not and everyone hated her. So I appreciated that. There

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Speaker 1: was a speech by America Ferrera that kind of brought

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Speaker 1: tears to my eyes. It was like everything that I

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Speaker 1: feel like we always talk about on the show in

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Speaker 1: a thirty second speech.

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Speaker 2: So I appreciated that. But I don't think. I don't

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Speaker 2: really think that movie's for kids since her movie critics. Now,

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Speaker 2: I also watched a movie last night.

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Speaker 1: What is it called? Oh I saw that, Oh, Clone Tyrone.

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Speaker 1: It's called Clone Tyrone. They cloned Tyrone. They cloned Tyrone.

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Speaker 1: That was with Jamie Fox right tonight, Tanoya. She's from

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Speaker 1: Dear White People.

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Speaker 2: And oh yeah, I was a couple of people in

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Speaker 2: that movie.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: It was like spooky, but like, uh, I liked it.

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Speaker 2: I'm really liking black people doing more like suspense, uh,

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Speaker 2: scary films because we've been like, we haven't really been

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Speaker 2: in that space a lot, you know, so it's nice

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Speaker 2: to see us have be able to have mainstream range.

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Speaker 2: But mostly the movie is real, you know, it's like

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Speaker 2: an it it's like an extreme version but like I

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Speaker 2: appreciated the tone of the reality of the fact that

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Speaker 2: we are they like, we are targeted in society and

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Speaker 2: brainwashed heavily with food, with music, with like all these things,

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Speaker 2: and it's like we'd be trying to act like we

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Speaker 2: don't see it, but you know, good and goddamn well,

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Speaker 2: they're programming us and they've continued to and that's their

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Speaker 2: like means of control. So I liked like the way

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Speaker 2: they exemplified that in a very like spooky way, but

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Speaker 2: then it makes you think, like, oh shit, it is real.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I enjoyed it too. I just you know

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Speaker 1: Jimmie Fox, he's just he's just epic. He can just

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Speaker 1: do anything. I loved him in that phone. So yesterday

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Speaker 1: Neil and I were here at Good Good Media Studios

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Speaker 1: check out our studio for all your podcasting needs linked bio,

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Speaker 1: and we're here working and then I opened the fridge

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Speaker 1: and I found some like mushrooms that Lizzie Jeff had

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Speaker 1: left for us, and I recall her telling me that

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Speaker 1: they were microds. She did tell us that she's like,

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Speaker 1: these are micro doses. The very light that it like,

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Speaker 1: goddess mushrooms, what are they called? So yesterday, I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, let me take some of this because

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Speaker 1: I've been just i don't know, just been feeling not

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Speaker 1: even edgy, feel like I needed something to make me

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Speaker 1: just feel more grounded. So I was like a little

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Speaker 1: light micro dose, be fine, bitch. I took the mushroom

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Speaker 1: or the chocolate, and like twenty minutes into it, I

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Speaker 1: was like, huh, this is I have that familiar feeling

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Speaker 1: that you get, you know, a little tickle inside that

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Speaker 1: you get. And then I was I had ordered food,

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Speaker 1: and I ordered food, and then suddenly I like was

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Speaker 1: not hungry at all anymore. And then I was on

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Speaker 1: my computer and I was told I was like, I

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Speaker 1: can't even look at my computer. This is overwhelming. They

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Speaker 1: were getting emails and people were asking us to like

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Speaker 1: answer questions, and I was like, oh no. Then I

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Speaker 1: was like I looked over her meal and I was like, bitch,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm high, Like this is not a micro dose,

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Speaker 1: like I'm on mushrooms and if I work.

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Speaker 2: And of course, because she took one, I've took one.

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Speaker 2: And she was like, I don't I feel high? And

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Speaker 2: I was like, I think I'm okay. And then eight

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Speaker 2: seconds later I was crying on the couch. It's like,

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Speaker 2: I think not I'm not okay, And we had clients

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Speaker 2: here and she was crying.

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Speaker 1: I was like, let's get this together before they're like

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Speaker 1: what the fuck? You know? I'm like, I was wondering. Actually,

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Speaker 1: now that I'm sitting here, I don't think they could

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Speaker 1: see us. But Mila was like sitting on my lap

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Speaker 1: like crying. I'm holding her. I keep looking over because

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Speaker 1: I think people are looking at us. Our clients are like,

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Speaker 1: why the fuck are they crying in the studio? You know,

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Speaker 1: you know what it is too.

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Speaker 2: It's like when we go on these retreats and we

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Speaker 2: leave for so long, we really are in these containers

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Speaker 2: that are so safe. You can literally do whatever you want,

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Speaker 2: and it's totally normal and safe to cry midday in

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Speaker 2: a group of people for no fucking reason at all,

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Speaker 2: and no one questions it. You just get hugs in love,

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Speaker 2: and so then you come back to this real world

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Speaker 2: and you're like, people are gonna see me cry.

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Speaker 1: They're not.

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Speaker 2: I know they're like, bitch is crazy, But now you

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Speaker 2: know what it is. I think we need to microdo

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Speaker 2: us more. I think if we did it more, like

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Speaker 2: every day like maybe we need to do it again

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Speaker 2: today or maybe not. I have shit to do but studying.

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Speaker 2: But if we did it every day, probably it wouldn't

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Speaker 2: feel so intense.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that sometimes because I go long bouts

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Speaker 1: without taking mushrooms, that when it comes it's really intense

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Speaker 1: and it's actually really overly emotional at first, whereas like

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Speaker 1: I see some people take mushrooms and they're just like

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Speaker 1: super happy and functioning immediately, where I have to like

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Speaker 1: go through a whole process to get there. And so

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Speaker 1: when I left you, I had to do like a

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Speaker 1: lot of breathing in the car. I was like doing

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Speaker 1: a lot of and then, you know, I will say

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Speaker 1: it was a microdosi ish because it didn't last long

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Speaker 1: that feeling. The initial feeling was intense at first, and

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Speaker 1: then it kind of dissipated, and then I you know,

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Speaker 1: I was with Iri, and then last night she was like, Mommy,

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Speaker 1: will you watch me jump on the trampoline? And I

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Speaker 1: was like sure, And she did like at least five

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Speaker 1: different dance performances on the trampoline, and I was so

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Speaker 1: happy watching her. I was like, oh my god, this

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Speaker 1: is the best shit ever. And she was killing it,

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Speaker 1: like she boomboch, she had no she had the she

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Speaker 1: had the hula hoop, and she was like doing She

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Speaker 1: was like a hula hooper with a trampolineho on the

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Speaker 1: trampoline doing all these I wish I would have recorded it,

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Speaker 1: but again I was trying to be present. But it

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Speaker 1: was really beautiful, like she was really in her I

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Speaker 1: just saw her tap into just something where she's felt

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Speaker 1: totally free and she was improvising and she was just

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Speaker 1: in her zone. And I'd never really seen her like that,

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Speaker 1: because sometimes when I see her perform, like if she's

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Speaker 1: doing with Luna, like she feels like insecurely insecure, but

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Speaker 1: like competitive skills, like she's be competitive or she's like

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Speaker 1: trying to like emulate something. And I kept telling her

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Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't know. I was like,

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Speaker 1: is it the mushrooms talking? And I was like, maybe,

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Speaker 1: like you are really embodying like freedom right now. I

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Speaker 1: see it. I see like the freedom coming through she.

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Speaker 1: I see the all of the hours and hours and

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Speaker 1: hours of hip hop classes that I've paid for. Finally

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Speaker 1: I see some rhythm happening here. I was like, wow,

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Speaker 1: this is amazing. And so this morning I actually woke

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Speaker 1: up and I worked out and then I got the

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Speaker 1: hula hoop and I like hula. I like hula for

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Speaker 1: twenty minutes, and I was like, I.

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Speaker 2: Need to start doing this shit more often, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you do, remember you bought seventeen hula hoops for the retreat.

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Speaker 1: I know, I thought you shipped across country. I'm worldwide

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Speaker 1: stepping into my hula hoop era. I think every morning

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Speaker 1: it helped me kind of like connect to my body

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Speaker 1: and just feeling really feminine. And also it's a work out,

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Speaker 1: but I reinspired it last night.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if it's the mushrooms, my daughter and

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Speaker 2: the hula, but it did what it did what needed

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Speaker 2: to be done, you know what it's it's really nice,

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Speaker 2: Like it's not, well, obviously it's nice watching our kids

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Speaker 2: grow up, but they're at this age you know, shit,

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Speaker 2: they're about to be nine and Luna is about to

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Speaker 2: be nine, and I'm just like what the fuck? And

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Speaker 2: even this trip, just like seeing them the little women

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Speaker 2: is just like a huge like it's a huge quick

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Speaker 2: shift and like even come into their femininity and their

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Speaker 2: sensuality and be okay with it and like feminine. It's

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Speaker 2: like it's really a sight to see on the beach

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Speaker 2: the other day. Uh, we were taking pictures and then

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Speaker 2: the girls were like emulating our picture taking. But like

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Speaker 2: when it has these pictures and she's like looking back,

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Speaker 2: she's like flipping her hair. I'm was like, okay, she

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Speaker 2: had like a slow motion video and she's like like

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Speaker 2: all gentle and like graceful and like and I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 2: I see you boot.

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Speaker 1: That's what I saw last night. I'm telling you. When

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Speaker 1: I her performance, I saw like your femininity comes I

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Speaker 1: saw the feminine essence of her, like not like the

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Speaker 1: little kid. I mean, obviously she's a kid, but like

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Speaker 1: I saw that essence come out of her, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, wow, okay. You know, and I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of times when parents see that, it scares them

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Speaker 1: because it it's like you're acting grown or like you're

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Speaker 1: emulating something but yet not only like yes and no,

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Speaker 1: like like you're emulating everything you see a fucking Barbie

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Speaker 1: and like Beyonce and like all these things and us,

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Speaker 1: but also like it's in our it's in our innate nature.

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Speaker 1: Does that make sense?

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Speaker 2: Innate nature to you know, be little women in training

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Speaker 2: and like I'm just so happy that we are smart

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Speaker 2: enough not to like discourage it or make it like

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Speaker 2: make it a thing, but just it makes such a

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Speaker 2: big It makes such a difference to be able to

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Speaker 2: be empowered in your femininity at a young age and

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Speaker 2: not be afraid of it, because I see so many

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Speaker 2: women be afraid of themselves, be afraid of their bodies,

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Speaker 2: be afraid of their sensuality.

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Speaker 1: I went to.

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Speaker 2: The Freehand Hotel this weekend. I was at the pool

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Speaker 2: and I met some women because I'm a friendly bitch,

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Speaker 2: and one of the women gave me a piece of mushroom.

385
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Speaker 2: We were talking. She was older a little bit. Shout

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Speaker 2: out to Genevieve, she's probably never going to know me again.

387
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Speaker 2: But she was just like saying something about my like

388
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Speaker 2: my my bathing suit, and like I was just telling

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Speaker 2: her about the retreating, like we get naked and we

390
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 2: like be free and we hang out, and like she's

391
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Speaker 2: like I can never be naked, and like even with

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Speaker 2: like a group of women, She's like, I can even

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Speaker 2: be naked alone. And I was like, huh, And I

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00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,240
Speaker 2: know that this is to be true for a lot

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Speaker 2: of women. You know, we start to age and our

396
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,119
Speaker 2: bodies like do things differently. Or we have babies, and

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00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:31,679
Speaker 2: then it's harder for us to embrace the things that,

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Speaker 2: you know, the standard of what our bodies are supposed

399
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 2: to look like, but like really truly, like that's our

400
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,880
Speaker 2: power and like our sensuality. When you lose that, you're

401
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:42,040
Speaker 2: losing a part of yourself. And it doesn't matter what

402
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 2: size or what happens as you evolved. It's like a

403
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:50,239
Speaker 2: it's an essential part of our existence and acknowledging it

404
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:53,119
Speaker 2: and watering it. And I'm just like, it's something that

405
00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,919
Speaker 2: you have to start doing even in childhood, you know,

406
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Speaker 2: instead of like confusing women by being like.

407
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Speaker 1: Stop doing that.

408
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,199
Speaker 2: It's not being that way, you know, even like the

409
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 2: shit my parents used to get on me about, like

410
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:08,440
Speaker 2: I refuse like wearing fucking glitter on eyelids, tying up

411
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,200
Speaker 2: the shure, you know, like Lena does that. And I

412
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 2: used to be like, you think you are No, I'm

413
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Speaker 2: just like, come on, girl, you know what I mean.

414
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,919
Speaker 2: I remember being like six years old and having those

415
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 2: little plastic like high heels and clickety clocketing all over

416
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,399
Speaker 2: the supermarket, all over places, like I was going somewhere.

417
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,640
Speaker 2: I don't even think supposed real those motherfuckers outside, I

418
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,400
Speaker 2: was clickety clacketting, But that's who I am right now,

419
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,640
Speaker 2: clickety clacking ass, high hill wearing bitch. And my dad

420
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 2: talked shit to me and call me grown and stuff,

421
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Speaker 2: but like I still wore them.

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Speaker 1: I cried.

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Speaker 2: But you know, just like the world creating an environment

424
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,640
Speaker 2: for our girls that encourage them and embrace their sensuality

425
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 2: and their femininity really could like essentially are tools that

426
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 2: are going to like carry them for a long time,

427
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 2: especially in a world that men are going to tell

428
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 2: them they're too much and other women and all these

429
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 2: things are like to fear their bodies in ways.

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Speaker 1: So I was really excited to even this morning because

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Speaker 1: I was still thinking about it this morning watching her,

432
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 1: because I was really in awe and I was like

433
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:08,240
Speaker 1: I want her to know like that that's that was beautiful.

434
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,639
Speaker 1: And so I woke her up and I was like,

435
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,199
Speaker 1: I'm still thinking about yesterday, and I was just like,

436
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,159
Speaker 1: what the fuck are you talking? Like, I'm like, that

437
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:16,720
Speaker 1: was so amazing you were doing you were really like

438
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,560
Speaker 1: doing her thing, and and she knew it. She felt

439
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:21,720
Speaker 1: really confident because she did one song and she's like

440
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:22,919
Speaker 1: I want to do oh you know what then she

441
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,040
Speaker 1: also did She was on and she's like, what song

442
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,679
Speaker 1: should I do? She's like, oh wait, one second, I

443
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 1: need to talk to him. What did she call them? Her?

444
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:37,199
Speaker 1: What did she call them? She was like talking to

445
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:40,159
Speaker 1: people all night trampoline. She was like, oh hold on,

446
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:43,639
Speaker 1: it's like my spiritual like crew or something. She's like

447
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 1: one second and asked my spiritual crew, and then she

448
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:47,800
Speaker 1: went like this, and then she was like talking to

449
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 1: them and she's like mm hm okay, yep, okay, So

450
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,479
Speaker 1: we want to do Rihanna umbrella. Oh okay, And I

451
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 1: was like wow. And she kept doing that and I

452
00:22:56,359 --> 00:23:00,360
Speaker 1: was like, I've never seen her do that before. I

453
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,280
Speaker 1: was like, where did this come from? Like does she

454
00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:05,600
Speaker 1: have is she like tapping in in some way that

455
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:09,320
Speaker 1: I like that I've missed or something, or like is

456
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 1: this moment right now where she's tapping in? Because she

457
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:15,120
Speaker 1: did that and then I saw her do something I've

458
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 1: never seen her do before, So it was really powerful

459
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 1: and that's why I think it stuck with me the most,

460
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,879
Speaker 1: especially that because I was like, who the fuck is

461
00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,440
Speaker 1: she talking to? But I was like, oh my god,

462
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 1: I'm so happy that whatever whatever, whatever spiritual crew she's

463
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 1: calling in. That's that she knows that she can do that.

464
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,199
Speaker 1: I actually need to ask her about that, because I

465
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 1: was like, huh, well.

466
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,880
Speaker 2: You know what I didn't consider, and then I thought

467
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:41,120
Speaker 2: about because okay, so this time the girls have come

468
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 2: with us, you know, the second half of many retreats,

469
00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 2: but this time they stayed on property even though we

470
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 2: hid them most and they kept saying, are you going to.

471
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,159
Speaker 1: Stop hiding us from the girl.

472
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 2: You're hiding us from the girls. I feel like Drake

473
00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 2: hiding our kids from the world. But you know, le Jaela,

474
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 2: who was one of our healers who came and assisted

475
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 2: and gave a Kashak readings and did our Cacaw ceremony,

476
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:12,159
Speaker 2: who's amazing. She mentioned to me in my reading. She

477
00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,560
Speaker 2: was like, this is really powerful for the girls just

478
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,919
Speaker 2: being in this space. They are getting the medicine just

479
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,919
Speaker 2: being here on the property. Like they don't even have

480
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 2: to be completely like they don't have to be involved

481
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 2: in anything, but they are, you know, getting this this

482
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 2: this medicine. And uh, one day they're baking us to

483
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,439
Speaker 2: do things and I had said no five times, so

484
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 2: finally it was my turn, and I'm like, okay, let's go.

485
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,679
Speaker 1: To the beach also there.

486
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 2: I was just yeah, So we went to the beach

487
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 2: and the water is being a little bit aggressive, and

488
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,600
Speaker 2: I was like, we need to ask the ocean to

489
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,879
Speaker 2: let us enter her. And then so we held hands

490
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,919
Speaker 2: and I was like, ocean, come, maybe please enter and

491
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 2: then she slowed and then we got in and then

492
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,119
Speaker 2: like Linnon was like ah crabs. I was like, you

493
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 2: can't disrespect the ocean. You can't disrespect its creatures and

494
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 2: want to get in. So we started to talk to

495
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,679
Speaker 2: her and then I was like, listen to me. Girls,

496
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,959
Speaker 2: put your hands on the sand, put your hands at

497
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,760
Speaker 2: the shore. And they're like looking at me, and I

498
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 2: was like, dear ocean, like did a whole thing like

499
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,239
Speaker 2: thank you, thank you for providing for us, thank you

500
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 2: for letting us like eat from you, let us like

501
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:16,439
Speaker 2: for helping us thrive. And so they like repeated after me,

502
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 2: and I was like and then they're looking at me

503
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 2: and like they're like whatever, but I'm like they think

504
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 2: I'm crazy.

505
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: But then three days later, everyone to the beach and.

506
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 2: They're like the ocean said get in, and I was

507
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,679
Speaker 2: like I'm drinking. And then Ari was like, ocean, her

508
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 2: mom's drinking right now. I was like, you smart ass,

509
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 2: but it's true, like they're being attuned through us, you know,

510
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,639
Speaker 2: like just the simply the energy of seeing and hearing

511
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,239
Speaker 2: what's happening. Because even when I got that reading, they

512
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 2: were downstairs but they couldn't really hear, but I'm sure

513
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,160
Speaker 2: they're like what the fuck are they up there doing

514
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 2: and hearing bits.

515
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 1: And pieces of it.

516
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,040
Speaker 2: And I was like kind of sharing with Luna, like

517
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 2: who who we were to each other in a different

518
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 2: life that we were husband and wife and.

519
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: She's like what and like but just having the.

520
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:09,199
Speaker 2: Having the mindset and the like the scope broadening the

521
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 2: scope because as a kid, if your parents don't believe

522
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:12,720
Speaker 2: in certain things, a lot of times you don't even

523
00:26:12,760 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 2: think of those things. So for her even to have

524
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 2: the like the two sons, that's like, okay, hey we

525
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,960
Speaker 2: could talk to the ocean, Hey we could talk to

526
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,960
Speaker 2: spirit guides. Hey I can you know like we've maybe

527
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:27,239
Speaker 2: lived other times and we've been here together before. It

528
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 2: just broadens their like young minds imagination. It's like we're

529
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,560
Speaker 2: they're gonna have to do so much less work undoing

530
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,240
Speaker 2: the socialization because they've been with us in these spaces

531
00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 2: and it really is a beautiful, beautiful thing to witness,

532
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 2: and like even just as moms, we say things and

533
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 2: we plant seeds and then we keep going and we

534
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 2: hope that it we hope that it like imprints on them,

535
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,320
Speaker 2: but it does. And you know, this brings me to

536
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:59,120
Speaker 2: our affirmation. Lenna was having a having it like being

537
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 2: scared to go to sleep and saying she was scared,

538
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm powerful.

539
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:11,119
Speaker 2: Nothing's coming to get me. I'm safe. I'm brave, i'm strong,

540
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,679
Speaker 2: i'm powerful. Nothing's coming to get me.

541
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 1: I'm safe.

542
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,800
Speaker 2: And like a few weeks later, she was like getting nervous,

543
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 2: like she was getting scared of something, and out of nowhere,

544
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 2: she was like, I'm brave, I'm strong, I'm powerful, nothing's

545
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 2: coming to get me.

546
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:27,040
Speaker 1: I'm safe. And I was like, yes, oh my gosh,

547
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 1: I remembered it. I don't remember it.

548
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, Like it reminded me that

549
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,400
Speaker 2: she's always listening and she's always watching, and like it's

550
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 2: powerful to plant these small seeds of there are powers

551
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,640
Speaker 2: outside of us that you can tap into, you know, So.

552
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's true. I guess I guess I didn't

553
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 1: correlate the experience that we had in Mexico with this

554
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 1: experience that I witnessed yesterday. But it's definitely they're definitely linked.

555
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 1: And even tell you saying that, you know, Luna practically

556
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:04,320
Speaker 1: adopting practice or adopting that affirmation even before Iri was

557
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: doing her thing. She she was like, Okay, I'm gonna

558
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:16,879
Speaker 1: take some deep breaths, and so she was like, and

559
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 1: I noticed, like there was a difference between when she

560
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 1: didn't take those deep breaths and her trampoline performance versus

561
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,080
Speaker 1: when she did, Like she just performed better. And she

562
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:26,960
Speaker 1: knows that that is a tool that she needs to

563
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 1: use when she wants to focus, she wants to ground.

564
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 1: So I am. I am grateful that we've been able to,

565
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 1: you know, create these spaces for them to come, even

566
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:38,400
Speaker 1: if we are hiding them from the world. We didn't

567
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: hit them, we didn't want to hide them. But you know,

568
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 1: a lot of these women are coming to get away

569
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 1: from their kids, away from their kids, and you know

570
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 1: they don't I know, for me, like I don't want

571
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 1: to swim in a pool with a bunch of kids.

572
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,600
Speaker 1: I'm on my retreat, Like no thanks.

573
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 2: Even though we loved thembod on the pool the last day,

574
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 2: and I really I do. I like I like them

575
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 2: being able to see us like adorn ourselves, be half

576
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 2: naked and go back out, come back in.

577
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 1: And like I know our They saw a lot of

578
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 1: outfit changes and transitions in between the retreats between us,

579
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 1: like wearing lingerie half naked us coming in wearing wichy

580
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,560
Speaker 1: shit and long gloves with glitter.

581
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 2: On our eyes, us howling, hearing people scream, seeing other

582
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:16,960
Speaker 2: women walk around naked, like even if it was briefly,

583
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,520
Speaker 2: you know, And I think it is really important for

584
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 2: them to just be attuned in that in that space

585
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 2: and see what it looks like for women outside of

586
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 2: us to be naked and to be free and to

587
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:33,160
Speaker 2: be in like in a circle. So and then oh,

588
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 2: and then Luna said something to me which I was like,

589
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 2: I hadn't even thought about. And she's like, I was like,

590
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 2: you know, you know, our hope is that you're gonna

591
00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 2: this is our first time here, and we're gonna do

592
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 2: another location, another location so we can continue to like

593
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 2: explore and find, you know, travel to new places together.

594
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 2: And she was like, when you guys are done, with

595
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 2: the good vibe tree are me and I A gonna

596
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 2: take it?

597
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 1: I was like, yes, you are, baby.

598
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 2: That was like her thought process, like even understanding, like

599
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,040
Speaker 2: this is something that she wants to do, even though

600
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 2: she's not really one hundred percent sure what the fuck

601
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:07,560
Speaker 2: we're doing over there, She's with it, you know, And

602
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:09,280
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm proud, you know.

603
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:15,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, is it backward time? It is?

604
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 2: I need to smuggle back with Okay, I rolled it

605
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 2: the vanilla, but let me just add my little a

606
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 2: little honey.

607
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,600
Speaker 1: You know, I'm still processing everything that happened at the retreat.

608
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 1: This was our first time going away from Costa Rica

609
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:35,840
Speaker 1: and hosting women in a different space, and it was different.

610
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 1: It felt different, but all in but in the best

611
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 1: ways possible. I think. I think there's definitely a different

612
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 1: energy when you're next to the ocean versus tucked away

613
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: into the jungle. Both of these groups were a lot

614
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: more intimate. They were smaller groups than we've had before.

615
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 1: We had a lot of people come back.

616
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:57,840
Speaker 2: We had three people who were who had come other

617
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:01,680
Speaker 2: on other retreats that came to this one, which is

618
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 2: like super affirming for us since it feels really good

619
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:06,520
Speaker 2: that you trust like you had such a.

620
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:07,400
Speaker 1: Good time the first time.

621
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 2: Every time I do this, I feel like oddly like sexual,

622
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 2: even though it really like skinny pinks. That's a long backwood,

623
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:20,040
Speaker 2: not just how I rolled it. Sorry, I got distracted

624
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:21,040
Speaker 2: because I have a potty brain.

625
00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 1: What are we think? No? I was just thinking. No,

626
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: I was just I was saying, it is affirming and

627
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 1: even We just announced our next retreat in Costa Rica

628
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:32,480
Speaker 1: in February next year, and we already have four girls

629
00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:36,479
Speaker 1: from this retreat that are coming to that retreat. So

630
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 1: it makes me feel good that we've created you know,

631
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: these circles where women feel safe or they feel recharged.

632
00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: You know a lot of these women went home and said,

633
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 1: I'm not I feel activated. I'm not I'm not exhausted anymore.

634
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 1: I'm ready to to make my dreams come true. I'm

635
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 1: ready to divorce my husband. I'm ready to love on

636
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: my head. I'm ready to stop doubting myself. I'm ready

637
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 1: to change my career. I'm ready to level up in

638
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 1: my career. And that's really the purpose of the retreat

639
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 1: is to question everything and rebuild the best parts of yourself.

640
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 2: I mean, just really come back to your power, and

641
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 2: I saw that happen. I saw that happen, and it

642
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,719
Speaker 2: is the most fucking rewarding thing I've ever seen. Like

643
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 2: to see people come one way and just slowly blossom

644
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 2: out of their comfort zones is literally the most beautiful

645
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 2: thing I've ever seen. Like I'm thinking of like Connie,

646
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 2: who's like quiet, but then by like the last day,

647
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 2: it was.

648
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 1: Like talking in the pool.

649
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 2: Even Ashley, you know, like the first time she came

650
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 2: until this time she came turking in the pool. She's like,

651
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 2: take a picture of me, but ask naked, and I'm

652
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 2: like I love you, and like, yeah.

653
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 1: I would say like her transition has been the most

654
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,479
Speaker 1: beautiful thing I think I've ever witnessed, to be honest,

655
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 1: because where she was at in our retreat last year

656
00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: versus this year, it's a totally different person, it.

657
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 2: Is, and even even she recognizes it. And we had

658
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 2: someone who likes so proud of her, so proud, so proud.

659
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:13,880
Speaker 2: Like I went out one night because I'm thirsty and

660
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 2: I really wanted to go salsa dancing, but it was

661
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,120
Speaker 2: like the first night the girls got there, so I

662
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 2: was like, anybody want to go out? And everyone's tired,

663
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 2: No one did to go, so I was like, fuck it.

664
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 2: Ashley was like I'll go. I was like, okay. She

665
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:26,480
Speaker 2: barely spoke the first retreat. She was like, we're out here.

666
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 2: I was like okay, and then she offered some really

667
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 2: beautiful words to you know, another woman came who was

668
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 2: like releasing heavy, and she recognized that in her and

669
00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 2: she was like, and you know, there's a moment me

670
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 2: and Erica were embracing that woman and Ashley witnessed it

671
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 2: and she told her. She's like, I really wanted to

672
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 2: tell you that that was me last year, and I'm

673
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,479
Speaker 2: a totally like I feel totally different. So I'm just

674
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,000
Speaker 2: it's really brings me joy to see you experiencing what

675
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 2: I experienced last year and just giving her, like giving

676
00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 2: her encouragement that like everything can change after this, because

677
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 2: it has for her, you know, And it really is

678
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 2: the most rewarding, most beautiful, purposeful shit. I know I

679
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,279
Speaker 2: say this every time, but like every time I do this,

680
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 2: I'm so affirmed that I'm doing the right thing. I'm

681
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 2: so clear that women, especially Broun and Black women really

682
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:29,440
Speaker 2: need spaces and each other to just be free.

683
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: And we've been so contained and so.

684
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 2: Hardcore because we got to do this, get the shit done,

685
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 2: because sometimes we're not protected, because sometimes we're not supported,

686
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:41,719
Speaker 2: because sometimes we don't feel protected or supported, and so

687
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,239
Speaker 2: that there's no time for crying, there's no time for

688
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 2: like giggling and bullshitting, there's no like naked. Why so

689
00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 2: it's just like giving women the opportunity to tap into that.

690
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 2: That space is medicine, and I think we underestimate what

691
00:34:58,600 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 2: medicine looks like.

692
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 1: You think you Papa Zanex or an.

693
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,640
Speaker 2: Advila, whatever the doctor prescribes to you, and you think, oh,

694
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 2: you know this is medicine. But no, it's like being

695
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 2: around genuine ass women.

696
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,920
Speaker 1: It's like, well, it's even too like I think about therapy,

697
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,360
Speaker 1: and you can sit in therapy for hours and hours

698
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 1: and months and months and slowly start to feel the

699
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 1: effects of whatever the work is that you're working on.

700
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 1: I feel like in these short five days it is

701
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 1: like therapy on crack because you're actually putting so much

702
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:38,239
Speaker 1: of the work into practice. You're forced to get out

703
00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:41,399
Speaker 1: of your comfort zone and you're excited to do it.

704
00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:44,280
Speaker 1: Whereas therapy a lot of times is like a singular

705
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 1: practice that you have to work on by yourself. But

706
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 1: when you're seeing women that are all in different maybe

707
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 1: aspects of their life, journeys of their life, taking off

708
00:35:55,560 --> 00:36:00,359
Speaker 1: their masks. It's giving women permission to do things that

709
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 1: they may not ever get to do, just being in

710
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,359
Speaker 1: therapy and saying Okay, now go home and put this

711
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: put this conversation into practice, you know. And I think

712
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:14,520
Speaker 1: that's why we see such a rapid transformation in these

713
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:19,600
Speaker 1: women's lives afterwards. And I'm not a therapist, but.

714
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 2: However, Ashley's Ashley's therapist recommended that she go on another retreat,

715
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:26,880
Speaker 2: and that made me feel really happy, and I'm like,

716
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:31,000
Speaker 2: more therapists should recommend retreats like this so that women

717
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:35,279
Speaker 2: can have these experiences, because it truly that fuck the prescription,

718
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 2: this is the prescription, right, And when she told me

719
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:42,839
Speaker 2: her therapist recommended it, I was like, smart therapist, Now

720
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 2: it's true.

721
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:47,280
Speaker 1: I think even for me it's there. It's been extreme

722
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,480
Speaker 1: therapy and I've had to face a lot of things too.

723
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:53,839
Speaker 1: Even this last retreat, I realized, I think I don't

724
00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 1: necessarily label myself as an mpath. I think maybe because

725
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:03,600
Speaker 1: my idea of what an m path looks like, I

726
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 1: don't know I've had I guess a specific view on

727
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:13,359
Speaker 1: what an mpath looks like. I realized that I am

728
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 1: in a different way and that I take on a

729
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 1: lot of energy unwillingly, almost like I don't even realize

730
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 1: I'm taking on energy because I feel like I'm really

731
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,520
Speaker 1: good with like, okay, well, I know how to compartmentalize

732
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 1: this boundary, like, oh my gosh, she's going through a release.

733
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,960
Speaker 1: I'm going to be here to support her and we're

734
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:31,920
Speaker 1: going to work through this, and that's that. But I

735
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,319
Speaker 1: realized I have to have things in place if I'm

736
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 1: going to be in these spaces facilitating and also participating

737
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: in the medicine with these women that allow me to

738
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:47,640
Speaker 1: cleanse from these experiences. And I'm still I feel like

739
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:53,359
Speaker 1: even today and now on doing some of some of

740
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:58,719
Speaker 1: the I don't want to say, I guess undoing some

741
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:06,280
Speaker 1: of the releasing some of the feelings that I've taken

742
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 1: on from other people that I didn't even realize I

743
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 1: took on, Like when we were supporting someone through you know,

744
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,399
Speaker 1: when we did our mushroom ceremony, we were supporting her.

745
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:16,960
Speaker 1: I saw a lot of women that I know matin

746
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 1: her and also a fear of like, oh, if I

747
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 1: don't choose myself, I could be right here. I could

748
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:31,320
Speaker 1: be right here, and it scared me and it carried

749
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 1: that with me. And you know, when you are doing

750
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,919
Speaker 1: this kind of work, what I've realized is you do

751
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 1: you have to have things in place afterwards to cleanse

752
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 1: yourself and to feel like, Okay, those things are not

753
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:51,720
Speaker 1: part of me. I've helped someone transition through this journey,

754
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 1: but it's not part of my journey. It's not mine,

755
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:58,319
Speaker 1: and I'm not I haven't quite figured that out yet

756
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,280
Speaker 1: how to do that. I know that like after these experiences,

757
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 1: I probably need to take like four days to myself

758
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: and do a lot of like spiritual shit for myself, saging, meditating, crying, swimming, massaging.

759
00:39:14,960 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: You know, But like I really took that for granted,

760
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 1: or I think people take that for granted, because even

761
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 1: I was trying to explain to my mom how I

762
00:39:21,000 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: was feeling, and she didn't understand. She was just like, well, yeah, babe,

763
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,319
Speaker 1: you can't take on people's energy. I'm like, I don't

764
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: think you get it. Like it's not intimate, it's not

765
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 1: like it's not like I have I don't have control

766
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 1: over it. It's beyond my control. It's not something that

767
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, I had this conversation. It was heavy,

768
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,279
Speaker 1: but that's your shit and this is my shit. Yes

769
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 1: I can do that. But when there's like a lot

770
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:54,320
Speaker 1: of feminine energy and just this power moving through the groups,

771
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:58,879
Speaker 1: it's almost like it's an invisible like latch onto you,

772
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 1: like you don't even realize it's happening.

773
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,880
Speaker 2: Well, I think what I've discovered in the retreats is that, like,

774
00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:07,439
Speaker 2: especially in that moment and a lot of moments, seeing

775
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 2: people really seeing people like hearing people's the things that

776
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:14,400
Speaker 2: they're releasing, it's like it's all very similar. We've all

777
00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,840
Speaker 2: experienced similar things, and it's that's the thing. It's like

778
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 2: it's all of ours. It's collective, you know, and it's

779
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 2: not personal to us, but there's a collective attachment because

780
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 2: I know that feeling. I understand what that looks like.

781
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 2: I understand if you don't release, this is what it

782
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,680
Speaker 2: could look like. You see your mother, you see your grandma,

783
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 2: you see you know friends that refuse to you know,

784
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 2: give themselves permission to release, and then you see like

785
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,920
Speaker 2: what can happen if you don't honor that part of

786
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 2: you and you don't have practice and it is scary.

787
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 2: That shit scared me too, And I saw my mom

788
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 2: and I saw, like, you know, there's this, like there's

789
00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:57,279
Speaker 2: this you know, angry black woman's stigma and we all

790
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,479
Speaker 2: hate it, you know, like but it's like that's that's

791
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 2: the stereotype. And it took me a while, like I

792
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 2: realize that exists, because yeah, bitches can be angry if

793
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 2: everything is put on you over and over and over

794
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 2: and over again, and yet there are no tools to

795
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 2: show you how to move out of those spaces and

796
00:41:18,719 --> 00:41:20,120
Speaker 2: release it and choose yourself.

797
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 1: And it's scary.

798
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 2: It's scary if I, like even for me, if I

799
00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 2: hadn't come into this, you know, fallen into this space,

800
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:32,720
Speaker 2: who I could have become. And it's like, choosing joy

801
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:36,319
Speaker 2: and choosing yourself is a real life job, and it's

802
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:39,800
Speaker 2: a real life it should be really a huge priority

803
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 2: for us because it's not sustainable otherwise. And then you'll

804
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 2: be angry and bitter and resentful and you don't even

805
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 2: fucking know why, and it's because you haven't given yourself

806
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 2: the opportunity to like pour it back out.

807
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: I am sorry, I'm having this, like vision of like

808
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to explain, and like a lot of

809
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 1: these women are coming to do shadow work, whether or

810
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:06,720
Speaker 1: not they realize it or not. And within these shadows,

811
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:10,320
Speaker 1: there's like these there's these egos, there's these alter egos

812
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:12,680
Speaker 1: that start to kind of come off of their bodies

813
00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:15,720
Speaker 1: and they start to kind of just wander around trying

814
00:42:15,719 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 1: to find somewhere else to latch onto, like almost like

815
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 1: these shadows that are just like walking through the property

816
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 1: of our retreat, like Okay, well she's trying to get

817
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: rid of me. Where do I go now? And it's

818
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:30,839
Speaker 1: like the ocean, the ocean. But I felt like these

819
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:34,239
Speaker 1: shadows and these feelings and these energies were like touch

820
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,959
Speaker 1: like latching onto me in ways, not all of them,

821
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 1: but there's a residualness that's happening as someone that's facilitating

822
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:44,319
Speaker 1: the retreat. And it's almost like a testing of my

823
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:48,359
Speaker 1: own practices. It's like, oh, bitch, you want to open,

824
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,719
Speaker 1: you want to crack these bitches open? Oh you want

825
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 1: you want you want their shit to spill out? Okay,

826
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 1: well I'm gonna come for you. And what are you

827
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 1: gonna do about it? What practices do you have in

828
00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 1: place to protect yourself from this type of energy, and

829
00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:01,960
Speaker 1: I realized that I didn't have I don't want to

830
00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,120
Speaker 1: say the armor, because I don't want to have armor

831
00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 1: when I'm in these spaces, but I do have to

832
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:10,280
Speaker 1: have a level of protection and I didn't and I haven't.

833
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:16,359
Speaker 1: And so I think, moving forward, because I'm dedicated to

834
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:19,400
Speaker 1: this journey of retreating and creating these circles for women,

835
00:43:19,719 --> 00:43:22,760
Speaker 1: that I do have to figure out what that means

836
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:27,719
Speaker 1: for myself. And that's leaning on other women that have

837
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: been in this space longer than me and asking them like,

838
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,520
Speaker 1: what the fuck do you do after experience like that?

839
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:35,200
Speaker 1: Because a bitch was crying in the room for like

840
00:43:35,239 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 1: three hours and I couldn't explain why. Even my daughter

841
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,239
Speaker 1: came in. She's like, Mommy, are you okay? And I

842
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:42,759
Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, am I traumatizing her. She's

843
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:44,759
Speaker 1: like one time when I was in Mexico, my mom

844
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: was leading retreats and then she cried in the room

845
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,839
Speaker 1: for three hours and I kept coming in and she

846
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 1: was still crying, not sure why, and it's like Mommy

847
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 1: wasn't sure either. But I think, now that I'm thinking

848
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: about it, that's really what it kind of felt like

849
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:05,160
Speaker 1: it felt like this this overspill of things that women

850
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 1: had been harboring for so long that had finally started

851
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,120
Speaker 1: to kind of release, and that energy has to go

852
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 1: somewhere and it either goes, like you said, to the ocean,

853
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:19,640
Speaker 1: to the water, or it can attach to other people.

854
00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:24,280
Speaker 1: And it was kind of heavy. It gets heavy.

855
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:26,840
Speaker 2: But for me, I feel like I have such I

856
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:33,560
Speaker 2: don't know, like it's new, it's different, but I'm so's

857
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 2: I'm so clear about that outcome, you know what I mean,

858
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 2: Like I can I can physically see the energy move

859
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 2: out and that brings me joy, you know, and like

860
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:47,000
Speaker 2: sometimes we don't like we're not perfect people and we're

861
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 2: just we're going on intuition, and but seeing it released

862
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:54,640
Speaker 2: from people, seeing people purge and kind of finally let

863
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:58,280
Speaker 2: go is so rewarding. And like I'm I am an EmPATH,

864
00:44:58,440 --> 00:45:01,719
Speaker 2: like I can feel things very deeply. I'm also like

865
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:07,280
Speaker 2: I don't know, I'm I'm I think I'm This trip

866
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:12,279
Speaker 2: kind of solidified and affirmed for me how much this

867
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:16,279
Speaker 2: is my work, and so like.

868
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:19,200
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not afraid of it.

869
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 2: I'm just like I can embrace the hard times because

870
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 2: I know there's like I know the other side of it.

871
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 2: I think I do feel the sadness that there are people,

872
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:28,680
Speaker 2: there are.

873
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:30,880
Speaker 1: Women who will never experience this.

874
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 2: There are women who will take that pain and that

875
00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 2: hurt to the grave and to their next life and

876
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:38,319
Speaker 2: maybe their next life after that, you know, and like

877
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:42,240
Speaker 2: to have the privilege of giving someone the opportunity to

878
00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:47,360
Speaker 2: put that shit down right now is so it's so rewarding.

879
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 2: It also is scary as that, like I have the

880
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:53,560
Speaker 2: I have the power to facilitate that. And also I

881
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,760
Speaker 2: may not ever save some of the people the closest

882
00:45:55,760 --> 00:46:00,319
Speaker 2: people to me, and not save but like help, Like

883
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 2: I know these tools, but like there are people that

884
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:04,800
Speaker 2: are so close to me that they can't receive the medicine.

885
00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:07,760
Speaker 1: Oh no, they won't. They won't, and they can't because

886
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 1: they've judged you or judged me. And and that's the

887
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:13,719
Speaker 1: whole reason people come on the retreat and why we

888
00:46:13,760 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 1: encourage people to come by themselves, because people will hold

889
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:20,440
Speaker 1: you to a certain standard or to your choices that

890
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 1: you've made and cannot see you as a healer, cannot

891
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:27,879
Speaker 1: see you as someone that can facilitate like a heart

892
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 1: opening experience for someone a transformation of breakthrough, and that's

893
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 1: why it's so important for women to come alone on

894
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 1: these retreats. But also it is heartbreaking to know that

895
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 1: there's certain people that not that like we're going to

896
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 1: go and save all of our friends, but like just

897
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 1: the fact that we can't even see each other eye

898
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: to eye in that way, because honestly, like part of

899
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:51,959
Speaker 1: that there's there's a healing for me or for you

900
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 1: with that person. If they were open to it, it would

901
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,080
Speaker 1: be a mutual exchange of healing. It's always a mutual,

902
00:46:57,200 --> 00:47:00,880
Speaker 1: you know. And so it is I think about like

903
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,560
Speaker 1: some of the women in my life, my mom, you know,

904
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 1: we've had this is our second time we've had a

905
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 1: mom and daughter come on the retreat, and more and

906
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: more I envy it me too. I'm like, and my

907
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:14,200
Speaker 1: mom says she wanted to come this last one, and

908
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. But then I also

909
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,839
Speaker 1: I was like, please don't. I'm scared. But I know

910
00:47:20,560 --> 00:47:22,759
Speaker 1: I hope that I hope that one day we can,

911
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 1: and I hope that one day I won't feel that way,

912
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 1: and I hope that she'll be able to come and

913
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 1: receive something from me, and I will be able to

914
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,680
Speaker 1: receive something from her that maybe I wouldn't I haven't

915
00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 1: been able to receive in our everyday life.

916
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 2: I think when women come like they don't know us,

917
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 2: and you know, it's not so they're not they don't

918
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,759
Speaker 2: have a previous expectation of how we're supposed to show up.

919
00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 2: But I think a lot of times in the worlds

920
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 2: that we live in in general, it's like, oh, you

921
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 2: don't have a degree in healing, you don't have you

922
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,000
Speaker 2: don't have a therapy degree, or you didn't like you.

923
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,880
Speaker 1: Do twenty two hours of reiki training right or whatever

924
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:58,120
Speaker 1: the fuck whatever?

925
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 2: Just if oh you didn't get your therapy license or whatever,

926
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 2: like whatever justifies putting your stuff down and telling someone

927
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:08,680
Speaker 2: the truth, you know, being vulnerable with somebody whatever, whatever

928
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 2: that is. That's like, oh, this person's my therapist, so

929
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:16,280
Speaker 2: she's eligible and has credentials enough to receive what I'm saying.

930
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 2: And sometimes those bitches have are fucked up too and

931
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:21,960
Speaker 2: they haven't put their shit down, and then it's it's

932
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 2: projecting back.

933
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 1: Onto you, you know what I'm saying.

934
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:28,880
Speaker 2: And it's just like, it's unfortunate that we live in

935
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 2: a society that has like so much it's really white

936
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 2: supremacy that doesn't allow us to see people for what

937
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:43,080
Speaker 2: they are. Because when I look at myself in this space, it's.

938
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 1: Back what is good.

939
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 2: There's imposter syndrome sometimes, and there's fear, and there's like

940
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:52,120
Speaker 2: doubtfulness about you know, what.

941
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:53,839
Speaker 1: I should be doing or how to do it.

942
00:48:54,920 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 2: But I realize, like the person that I've always been, like,

943
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,879
Speaker 2: I'm very empathetic, I'm very compassionate. I want to talk

944
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 2: to people. I want to stare into your eyes. I

945
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 2: want people to loosen up. I want people to accept themselves,

946
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:10,839
Speaker 2: you know, like that's always just kind of been who

947
00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:12,720
Speaker 2: I am. But I'm like, oh, like all these traits

948
00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:15,600
Speaker 2: are traits that have always existed in me. Well, the

949
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,600
Speaker 2: traits is what your expertise is, do you know what

950
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:18,920
Speaker 2: I mean?

951
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 1: Right?

952
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:21,080
Speaker 2: But we're still busy trying to go learn traits from

953
00:49:21,120 --> 00:49:24,319
Speaker 2: something that is your expertise, from some you know, some

954
00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 2: campus that we forget to actually scan ourselves and say, like,

955
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:32,759
Speaker 2: this is actually what I'm good at. You know, I

956
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:35,319
Speaker 2: heal because I like to talk to bitches in the

957
00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 2: bathroom every time, Like I go out and I don't

958
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:39,840
Speaker 2: have to do much and women will come to me,

959
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 2: and I'm like, you want to be my friend. But

960
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:45,200
Speaker 2: it's because I have a friendly demeanor. I don't feel

961
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 2: like I don't think I feel intimidating, and so I

962
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 2: can make friends easily.

963
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:50,959
Speaker 1: But you know, in this space, it's just like.

964
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 2: We're doing mushrooms and we're like in this beautiful on

965
00:49:55,719 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 2: the fucking ocean, and I just watched like it was

966
00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:03,120
Speaker 2: a nishe and I think, uh, who's our fairy?

967
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:05,840
Speaker 1: Nisha, no, Stacy.

968
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:09,720
Speaker 2: Nisha and Stacy were just like dancing together, like holding

969
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:14,680
Speaker 2: each other, twirling in the sunlight, and I like, I

970
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 2: just started to cry because I'm like, as soon as

971
00:50:16,680 --> 00:50:19,520
Speaker 2: I doubt anything that I'm doing, it's like, it's not

972
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:25,399
Speaker 2: what you're doing, it's who you are. And it brought

973
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 2: me so much joy to bring someone else joy. And

974
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 2: that's really like, if you're an impath, that's really what

975
00:50:33,520 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 2: you're supposed to be doing, is because if you're feeling

976
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:38,520
Speaker 2: all the time and you're surrounded by places and people

977
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 2: that are not feeling good, it's a burden. But if

978
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:45,400
Speaker 2: you're an impath and you're creating pleasurable spaces for other people,

979
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 2: and that are people who are truly in joy then

980
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 2: you were walking in your purpose. And you know, there

981
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:54,279
Speaker 2: were a couple of things that just affirmed that for

982
00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 2: me and this, you know, Micosa reading, so a lot

983
00:50:58,120 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 2: of cards that we pulled.

984
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:01,960
Speaker 1: In fact, after we supported that woman.

985
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 2: That night, it was you know, we did our we

986
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:10,560
Speaker 2: did a self devotion ceremony where we dressed up in lingerie,

987
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 2: we watched the sunset and you know, we danced together

988
00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:16,480
Speaker 2: and we how and we feel like sensual and sexy

989
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:18,839
Speaker 2: in our bodies. And afterwards we just kind of like

990
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:21,480
Speaker 2: everybody went down and there's just Eric, Kay and I

991
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 2: and then Aaron shout out to Aaron and our girl

992
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:26,440
Speaker 2: was up there and she was just like, I just

993
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 2: want to tell you that you guys are walking in

994
00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:33,360
Speaker 2: your purpose and I can see it and I'm really

995
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 2: proud of you. And I just was like, you can

996
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:40,680
Speaker 2: see it, you think, so you know, like thank you,

997
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:42,880
Speaker 2: you know, thank you, and I feel that and I

998
00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 2: received that and then I pulled a card and it

999
00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:47,760
Speaker 2: was like, yeah.

1000
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:48,720
Speaker 1: You're walking in your purpose.

1001
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:50,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you're working, you're walking in your purpose and

1002
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:52,879
Speaker 2: it may not be the conventional way way.

1003
00:51:53,680 --> 00:51:56,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was really powerful that moment. That moment was

1004
00:51:56,040 --> 00:51:58,279
Speaker 1: super powerful and we all cried.

1005
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 2: Just ride in the around the altar, in the in

1006
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 2: the like in the darkness under the moon, and then

1007
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:12,360
Speaker 2: laughed hysterically, and it was just like, this is how

1008
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:16,280
Speaker 2: it always has been historically, and this is a part

1009
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:19,120
Speaker 2: of the culture of like the culture of being a

1010
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:22,360
Speaker 2: woman that has been forgotten. And I deeply feel that

1011
00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:25,479
Speaker 2: it is our purpose and our calling to bring back

1012
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 2: those circles and bring back and normalize these these practices

1013
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:34,080
Speaker 2: and really bring black women and brown women and women

1014
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:37,560
Speaker 2: in general to the understanding that this is our in

1015
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:40,919
Speaker 2: our nature and it's not some devil the devil which shit,

1016
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:44,080
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, it's some God shit. This

1017
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:47,760
Speaker 2: is actually the best way, the best path to God

1018
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:50,800
Speaker 2: is through you. And if you are avoiding parts of yourself,

1019
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:54,840
Speaker 2: if you're not healing places that hurt, you will not

1020
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:57,000
Speaker 2: be able to access that that that God.

1021
00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 1: You can go to every fucking sermon.

1022
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:02,000
Speaker 2: I swear to God, read every Bible verse.

1023
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:07,320
Speaker 1: Every verse, every sermon, every Bible study, every private meeting,

1024
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:11,080
Speaker 1: every counseling session. And it's so true.

1025
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:15,920
Speaker 2: And speaking of that, after one of our devotion dances,

1026
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:18,400
Speaker 2: we're literally all half naked. Some of us are naked

1027
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 2: like this is like just everyone's questioning, like who can come?

1028
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 1: If I'm white?

1029
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:25,720
Speaker 2: Can I come? If I'm black, if I'm Christian? Like literally,

1030
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:28,480
Speaker 2: everybody comes, doesn't matter how old you are, if women's

1031
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:31,399
Speaker 2: oldest seventy, if women as young as twenty two, twenty one.

1032
00:53:31,880 --> 00:53:33,600
Speaker 2: It's like if you come in to get the medicine,

1033
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:37,359
Speaker 2: it's for everybody. There are no like the roles of

1034
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 2: like age and like your career, all that shit goes

1035
00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 2: out the window.

1036
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 1: We're just women girls. Really.

1037
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 2: When I looked at us in a circle, I was like,

1038
00:53:45,080 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 2: we're just little girls playing, you know, and we all

1039
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:51,440
Speaker 2: deserve like space to play as little girls together and

1040
00:53:51,560 --> 00:53:56,400
Speaker 2: hug and like and it's just oh, so we're all

1041
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 2: standing in a circle after our session, and one of

1042
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 2: the girls is like, first of.

1043
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 1: All, first she hold a huge.

1044
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 2: Bottle don Julio out of her room right like, poured

1045
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:12,279
Speaker 2: tequila in everybody's mouth. The boat drove the boat and

1046
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:13,759
Speaker 2: then athur and she was like, I'd like to share

1047
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:18,720
Speaker 2: something like okay, she's like Third Corinthians thirty three sixteen.

1048
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, okay.

1049
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 2: She gave us a sermon, okay, like a full sermon,

1050
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:29,680
Speaker 2: and you know, it took me a minute. You know,

1051
00:54:29,719 --> 00:54:35,080
Speaker 2: first of all, everything everybody's welcomed. I personally am not

1052
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:38,880
Speaker 2: like a Bible goer, that's not like my form of practice.

1053
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:41,279
Speaker 2: But I was like, let's welcome her and like in

1054
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:44,640
Speaker 2: her spiritual practice and welcome it here. And it was

1055
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:48,000
Speaker 2: literally a four minute sermon and we were all like

1056
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:52,240
Speaker 2: almost but ass naked, so it was kind of ironic.

1057
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,640
Speaker 2: So it's kind of funny. So we all kind of

1058
00:54:56,640 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 2: started laughing because we're like, not us pray praying to

1059
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:01,280
Speaker 2: ge in our titties out.

1060
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:05,400
Speaker 1: That is plat of the blood of Christ, but and

1061
00:55:05,400 --> 00:55:08,399
Speaker 1: and and everyone.

1062
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 2: Because people come from so many walks of life. There

1063
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:14,520
Speaker 2: are people who have been deeply traumatized from religion.

1064
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:16,960
Speaker 1: There are people who are very religious.

1065
00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:20,200
Speaker 2: There are people who you know, initially didn't fuck with

1066
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 2: the stars and the moons, and they're like, maybe I do,

1067
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:24,480
Speaker 2: you know. So it's really a good it's a really

1068
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:30,319
Speaker 2: good safe place to practice acceptance of all people, of

1069
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,359
Speaker 2: all types of things, of all practices, you know, and

1070
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:36,240
Speaker 2: like be able to be like that's not for me, however,

1071
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 2: I'm here to support you, girl, you know what I mean, Like,

1072
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,960
Speaker 2: maybe don't put the blood christ on me.

1073
00:55:41,080 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 1: But you know, if you do cool. But you know,

1074
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,600
Speaker 1: it's just like it's a it's funny, like I'm thinking of, Yes,

1075
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 1: it's a it's a great it's a great place to

1076
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 1: put into practice acceptance and rebuilding your trust and love.

1077
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:59,680
Speaker 1: Love for women, yes, for people. Know, for women, I

1078
00:55:59,680 --> 00:56:02,600
Speaker 1: think too, because a lot of women come like they

1079
00:56:02,680 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 1: judge each other, you know what I mean, Like we

1080
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,080
Speaker 1: can't we don't give each other any grace, you know.

1081
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:11,760
Speaker 1: And when you go into this space, this container that

1082
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:14,279
Speaker 1: where you fall in love with someone, you're like, oh

1083
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:15,560
Speaker 1: my god, I love this trait about you. And then

1084
00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:17,080
Speaker 1: they do some weird shit and you're like do I

1085
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:18,680
Speaker 1: love you? But then you're like, oh, I love you again.

1086
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 1: It's like you battle this thing back and forth because

1087
00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 1: you're dealing with people from all different walks of life,

1088
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:27,279
Speaker 1: with different personalities, and ultimately at the end there is

1089
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:32,319
Speaker 1: this lesson that yes I do, and like there we

1090
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 1: have our differences, and but you're an ultimate at the

1091
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:41,080
Speaker 1: end of the day. At the core, we are all

1092
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:46,480
Speaker 1: just women humans having this human experience, and there's a

1093
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:49,480
Speaker 1: level of patience that I think that I hope is

1094
00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:53,120
Speaker 1: a gift for the women that come to and acceptance

1095
00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:56,719
Speaker 1: and love despite whatever differences you think.

1096
00:56:56,520 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 2: You have, because you will leave with friends you would

1097
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 2: never have had Poblem regularly approached, have ever met, And

1098
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:05,440
Speaker 2: it gives you this level of self awareness to say,

1099
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:06,440
Speaker 2: why am.

1100
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:07,880
Speaker 1: I what is it about this person I don't like?

1101
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:10,920
Speaker 1: I don't even know them, and what are those real reasons?

1102
00:57:11,000 --> 00:57:12,759
Speaker 2: You know, even for me, I just came off this

1103
00:57:12,840 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 2: tantier retreat and uh, it's.

1104
00:57:16,200 --> 00:57:17,320
Speaker 1: Just it was school.

1105
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:19,280
Speaker 2: So a lot of these people I'm seeing on zoom

1106
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:22,480
Speaker 2: and there was one girl who's my friend and you know,

1107
00:57:22,680 --> 00:57:24,800
Speaker 2: she kind of irritated me on zoom because she was

1108
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:28,919
Speaker 2: asking telling long stories and I was just like I'd

1109
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:31,040
Speaker 2: made up in my mind like we're probably not like

1110
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:33,760
Speaker 2: gonna be the besties. And then we got there and

1111
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:36,840
Speaker 2: I was like, I fuck with you. And it really

1112
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:41,320
Speaker 2: is a reminder that connection connection, connection, and it's something

1113
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:44,680
Speaker 2: that we've grown, you know, we've alienated ourselves away from.

1114
00:57:44,680 --> 00:57:47,760
Speaker 2: But like, people are people, and we have to see

1115
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:52,840
Speaker 2: people's people, white, black, whatever, and it's so important to

1116
00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:54,920
Speaker 2: be able to do that, and so often we're on

1117
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:57,840
Speaker 2: our screens that we don't have the opportunity to sit

1118
00:57:57,880 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 2: and stare in somebody's eyes and then and be like, oh,

1119
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:03,200
Speaker 2: your tears are my tears because I was just crying

1120
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:05,560
Speaker 2: last night. Or let me hold you, let me console you.

1121
00:58:05,640 --> 00:58:11,120
Speaker 2: But like this idea that like existence really is a

1122
00:58:11,160 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 2: part of existence is connection, and if we try to

1123
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:17,600
Speaker 2: go around that and separate ourselves from others, that's also

1124
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:21,360
Speaker 2: how resentment forms, and like anger because you're not giving

1125
00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,840
Speaker 2: yourself the same self acceptance because you're not giving others

1126
00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:27,640
Speaker 2: the same self acceptance, I mean acceptance, anger, sickness.

1127
00:58:28,600 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 1: I just had this. I just had this thought, like

1128
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:33,120
Speaker 1: of all the women in our wombs, like being connected

1129
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:34,680
Speaker 1: by this like thread.

1130
00:58:35,000 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 2: Well you know what I was thinking about in the circle.

1131
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 2: I was thinking about Sylvia, and like everybody, imagine a

1132
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 2: red hold from your vagina.

1133
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:44,120
Speaker 1: The earth.

1134
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 2: But like I was thinking that, like a we're connected

1135
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 2: this way. And also our wombs are connected to the

1136
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,760
Speaker 2: center of the earth, which are connected to the umbilical

1137
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:55,840
Speaker 2: cords of the trees, the roots that grow around us

1138
00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 2: and support us and help us breathe, you know, And

1139
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:01,960
Speaker 2: it's like we are this is a circular system, and

1140
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:03,240
Speaker 2: we're part of that system.

1141
00:59:03,360 --> 00:59:06,920
Speaker 1: Our wombs are part of that system. They are but

1142
00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:09,280
Speaker 1: I think we've been so disconnected from our wombs. And

1143
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,800
Speaker 1: when you get into a space like this near water,

1144
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:14,360
Speaker 1: with all this feminine energy where women are just ready

1145
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:18,400
Speaker 1: to let go, Like there's this deep connection that happens

1146
00:59:18,480 --> 00:59:24,000
Speaker 1: where you are able to truly accept everyone for every weird,

1147
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:30,280
Speaker 1: fucked up, funny, strange, beautiful little part of them, you know.

1148
00:59:30,560 --> 00:59:34,720
Speaker 1: And that's why the circles are important, because women, we

1149
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 1: need to not only connect back to ourselves, but we

1150
00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:39,320
Speaker 1: need to connect back to one another, and we need

1151
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:42,040
Speaker 1: to forgive one another and we need to trust one another.

1152
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:46,960
Speaker 1: Because I've seen it happen. I've seen the power when

1153
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:49,959
Speaker 1: we all are just in flow, like when we're sitting

1154
00:59:50,000 --> 00:59:53,400
Speaker 1: around our dinner table and we're flowing, and it's just

1155
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 1: it's what it's about, and it's why we've it's what

1156
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 1: they don't want us to have, and they've definitely torn

1157
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:03,120
Speaker 1: that part away. And so I'm excited when I see

1158
01:00:03,160 --> 01:00:06,800
Speaker 1: other women throwing having retreats to like so many women

1159
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,880
Speaker 1: are awakening to this idea that we need to sit together.

1160
01:00:10,680 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, and the womb is what connects us and you know,

1161
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:18,360
Speaker 2: like this is badass birth in August, and so I'm happy.

1162
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 2: We're starting this way just with like the womb, and

1163
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:26,760
Speaker 2: you know, it's our heart. It really is one and

1164
01:00:26,800 --> 01:00:29,000
Speaker 2: the same. And if you could disconnect from your womb

1165
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,760
Speaker 2: and the power that it holds, then you're kind of

1166
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:33,960
Speaker 2: disconnecting and hardening your heart. And I realized that when

1167
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,400
Speaker 2: we can come together as our true selves and connect

1168
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:39,959
Speaker 2: in a circle and like really embrace like each other

1169
01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 2: and each other's femininity, it births something. And like like

1170
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:46,439
Speaker 2: just like Eric and I, we talk about this a lot,

1171
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:52,840
Speaker 2: that our relationship birthed this, this studio birth, this podcast birth,

1172
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:56,760
Speaker 2: this sisterhood, and really it's an entity that was created,

1173
01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 2: you know, when we linked up, When we linked up

1174
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:02,880
Speaker 2: and we decided going to be true friends and really

1175
01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:06,520
Speaker 2: allow each other like this true bubble of space to

1176
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:09,680
Speaker 2: show up as like something higher than us took place.

1177
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 2: And that's exactly what happens when we're in these circles,

1178
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:16,000
Speaker 2: is that an entity is created, and it's it's really

1179
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:20,680
Speaker 2: putting back the pieces of this ancient connection that we

1180
01:01:20,840 --> 01:01:24,920
Speaker 2: have to sisterhood to each other, and it's like it

1181
01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:27,560
Speaker 2: really is healing the world. You can't heal the world

1182
01:01:27,640 --> 01:01:29,800
Speaker 2: without healing the women, and you can't heal the women

1183
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 2: without healing the relationships that we have with one another.

1184
01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 2: And I'm just like so grateful that our connection, our

1185
01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:45,040
Speaker 2: entity birthed these spaces birth, the good vibratory birth, this

1186
01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 2: power that we both innately have begin to recognize and

1187
01:01:49,360 --> 01:01:53,520
Speaker 2: uncover through our relationship. And now we've had the opportunity

1188
01:01:53,600 --> 01:01:57,240
Speaker 2: to like allow it to uncover the relationships with other

1189
01:01:57,320 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 2: people and the power of other people. And like, there

1190
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:04,600
Speaker 2: are friends from the retreat, Bessie's two girls came back

1191
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:07,160
Speaker 2: from the two girls that came together, were on a

1192
01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:09,720
Speaker 2: trip together, came back together. And the truth was, I

1193
01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:12,200
Speaker 2: didn't even realize they were like that close even during

1194
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:15,200
Speaker 2: the retreat. But they traveled together, they stayed together, and

1195
01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:18,320
Speaker 2: they've been in contact, and like that happens all the time,

1196
01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:24,200
Speaker 2: but we underestimate how important that is to our healing,

1197
01:02:24,800 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 2: and we don't take we prioritize.

1198
01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 1: We can't do it alone. We cannot do it alone.

1199
01:02:30,920 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 1: You can't hmmm. That was beautifully said, No, thank you,

1200
01:02:35,880 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 1: We're just think blum power a mo ma ma ma

1201
01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:46,720
Speaker 1: ma ma ma, ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma.

1202
01:02:47,240 --> 01:03:00,480
Speaker 2: Mom hm ah. We just chanted the the seeds for

1203
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:03,640
Speaker 2: fire element, which is at your root chakra. It's your

1204
01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:09,560
Speaker 2: sex chakra, and it is for magnetization. So if you

1205
01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:13,640
Speaker 2: want to magnetize something, bring it to you. That's how

1206
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:17,200
Speaker 2: you tap in, tapping into the elements of the of

1207
01:03:17,240 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 2: yourself and of the earth. So such a witch, such

1208
01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:22,760
Speaker 2: a witch?

1209
01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:27,479
Speaker 1: Dare you use nature and elements to conjure up things

1210
01:03:27,480 --> 01:03:30,720
Speaker 1: for yourself? I know? How crazy? Why else wud God

1211
01:03:30,720 --> 01:03:32,800
Speaker 1: put him here? Why would you do that? Why would

1212
01:03:32,800 --> 01:03:36,280
Speaker 1: you use what God put here? How dare you the

1213
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:41,120
Speaker 1: devil God to a lab and make something up? Generic

1214
01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:48,160
Speaker 1: is how you do it? That's what Jesus wanted. Plastic. Yeah,

1215
01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 1: it's just.

1216
01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:53,840
Speaker 2: It's the simple things that are truly going to be

1217
01:03:53,880 --> 01:03:59,480
Speaker 2: our saviors. And that's the ship that God herself made.

1218
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:06,320
Speaker 2: Keep it simple, baby, fire, earth, water, space, air. I

1219
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:10,880
Speaker 2: was thinking that today actually, like, truly keep it simple,

1220
01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:15,160
Speaker 2: keep the shit simple. Wellness does not need to be

1221
01:04:15,280 --> 01:04:18,960
Speaker 2: your wellness, your spiritual physical That does not have to

1222
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:24,800
Speaker 2: be a twenty two step routine. Like you can go

1223
01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:28,080
Speaker 2: to the ocean and feel good. You can masturbate and

1224
01:04:28,120 --> 01:04:31,160
Speaker 2: feel good, you know, like I can hula hoop this

1225
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:33,840
Speaker 2: morning and that brought me joy and set me off.

1226
01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:36,960
Speaker 2: This morning because I woke up with attitude and then

1227
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,160
Speaker 2: I had hula hooped and I felt so much better

1228
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:41,160
Speaker 2: and I was like, this was the simplest shit I

1229
01:04:41,160 --> 01:04:46,760
Speaker 2: could have done free inspired by my daughter crazy.

1230
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 1: Well, I mean I think we need to Well we

1231
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:51,560
Speaker 1: all know obviously they're like, you know, they're the closest

1232
01:04:51,560 --> 01:04:54,720
Speaker 1: thing to God, right, we all say that. And what

1233
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:59,840
Speaker 1: do they do all day? Play and eat and be merry. Yeah,

1234
01:05:00,160 --> 01:05:02,600
Speaker 1: So I think that's too why the retreat is special too,

1235
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:04,240
Speaker 1: because it does. It feels like adult camp, and we

1236
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:06,880
Speaker 1: do kind of keep it simple. It's very basic. It's

1237
01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:08,520
Speaker 1: not basic because you know, we're like, you know, some

1238
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:12,800
Speaker 1: lux bitches, but basic in the ideas of the practices

1239
01:05:12,840 --> 01:05:17,120
Speaker 1: that we're encouraging. Hey, scream, bitch luxury amenities. Oh my god.

1240
01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:19,720
Speaker 1: The other day I was medicine. I needed to scream,

1241
01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:22,360
Speaker 1: and I was like, I got my pillow and I

1242
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:24,560
Speaker 1: screamed so fucking loud, and I was like, I need

1243
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:28,440
Speaker 1: to text the discord and tell them scream here today.

1244
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:31,160
Speaker 1: I'm going to is it scream in a pillow Challenge.

1245
01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:35,440
Speaker 1: I think women need to scream and pillows at least

1246
01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 1: once a week. Actually, if you're listening right now, I'm

1247
01:05:38,680 --> 01:05:40,440
Speaker 1: going to encourage you. You're in your card, in your car.

1248
01:05:40,560 --> 01:05:43,560
Speaker 1: If you're in your car, car, yes, but you're driving,

1249
01:05:43,600 --> 01:05:45,960
Speaker 1: and sometimes you got to get out of control. So

1250
01:05:46,440 --> 01:05:48,840
Speaker 1: I want to encourage you to get that pillow, put

1251
01:05:48,880 --> 01:05:52,600
Speaker 1: your face in it, and scream for at least one minute.

1252
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:55,280
Speaker 1: Matter of fact, set a timer, because just when you

1253
01:05:55,280 --> 01:05:57,000
Speaker 1: scream for a minute, no it's not you just have

1254
01:05:57,040 --> 01:06:00,400
Speaker 1: to take breaks. But just when you think you've gotten out,

1255
01:06:00,480 --> 01:06:02,320
Speaker 1: there's more. And I think that's also kind of like

1256
01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:05,280
Speaker 1: what I've experienced at the retreat when we do our workshop,

1257
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:09,520
Speaker 1: is that there's there's always more, you know, And as

1258
01:06:09,560 --> 01:06:11,160
Speaker 1: women like, we don't release in that way.

1259
01:06:11,360 --> 01:06:14,400
Speaker 2: Especially don't scream because you think it's crazy exactly.

1260
01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:17,600
Speaker 1: I think I'm crazy exactly. But why were we given

1261
01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:20,200
Speaker 1: these voices to only speak at a certain decimal all

1262
01:06:20,240 --> 01:06:23,920
Speaker 1: the time that makes people feel comfortable. No, we were

1263
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:27,280
Speaker 1: given it to fucking use it. And I think some people,

1264
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:31,040
Speaker 1: like not most people, they have never screamed ever, except

1265
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:33,800
Speaker 1: in maybe an argument, right, you know, and even then

1266
01:06:33,840 --> 01:06:35,840
Speaker 1: it wasn't loud enough, it wasn't really what you felt,

1267
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:37,800
Speaker 1: and so you still or okay, it just comes up,

1268
01:06:37,840 --> 01:06:40,400
Speaker 1: so you still suppressed it, and you suppressed it.

1269
01:06:40,720 --> 01:06:43,080
Speaker 2: We don't say certain things, yeah, because you're worried about

1270
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:45,560
Speaker 2: the other person's feelings. That that's you know what I

1271
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:48,960
Speaker 2: realized too. We do We did to mescal ceremony and

1272
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:52,760
Speaker 2: you go into a pitch black dark oven. Essentially there's

1273
01:06:53,360 --> 01:06:55,400
Speaker 2: hot rocks in the center and you pour water over

1274
01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:59,760
Speaker 2: roam from shamans. And the first thing I noticed is

1275
01:06:59,800 --> 01:07:08,920
Speaker 2: that the darkness gives people power over their voice. Obviously

1276
01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:13,200
Speaker 2: it's the hot ass circumstances too, but it's the darkness

1277
01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:16,960
Speaker 2: where you get to hear people's sounds, their primal groans,

1278
01:07:17,120 --> 01:07:20,680
Speaker 2: their moanes that were in any where. If I could

1279
01:07:20,720 --> 01:07:22,400
Speaker 2: see you or you wouldn't do it. If I could

1280
01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:25,280
Speaker 2: identify who that noise was coming from, I would be more,

1281
01:07:25,520 --> 01:07:29,120
Speaker 2: you know, more self conscious than to do it. And like,

1282
01:07:29,240 --> 01:07:33,960
Speaker 2: it's crazy how we just I don't know the word

1283
01:07:33,960 --> 01:07:38,040
Speaker 2: I'm looking for, like deprive ourselves of the privilege of

1284
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:41,200
Speaker 2: using our voice, even on a very primal sound level.

1285
01:07:41,200 --> 01:07:42,600
Speaker 2: But you see kids do it all the time. They

1286
01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:45,680
Speaker 2: throw tantrum, scream, don't give a fuck where they're at

1287
01:07:45,760 --> 01:07:47,720
Speaker 2: target and you're in the first thing, you're like shut

1288
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:51,120
Speaker 2: the fuck off. You're embarrassing us, you know. Oh yeah, no,

1289
01:07:51,240 --> 01:07:51,760
Speaker 2: it's true.

1290
01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:54,080
Speaker 1: And that's what I'm saying, Like, that's why kids they

1291
01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:57,880
Speaker 1: they are, they're so such powerful beings, and that's why

1292
01:07:57,920 --> 01:07:59,800
Speaker 1: it's so important to try to preserve that part of

1293
01:07:59,840 --> 01:08:03,320
Speaker 1: them and trying to awaken that part of us. Screaming

1294
01:08:03,520 --> 01:08:08,160
Speaker 1: is like again, keeping it simple. It's such a basic concept,

1295
01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:12,280
Speaker 1: such a basic release that you could do to make

1296
01:08:12,320 --> 01:08:13,200
Speaker 1: yourself feel better.

1297
01:08:13,880 --> 01:08:18,439
Speaker 2: I just realized, like the entire retreat is physically and

1298
01:08:18,479 --> 01:08:22,879
Speaker 2: spiritually a rebirthing. We literally get naked as if we're birthing,

1299
01:08:23,120 --> 01:08:28,519
Speaker 2: We literally submerge in water. We literally scream and grunt

1300
01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:31,639
Speaker 2: and moan and laugh, and it's like we really let

1301
01:08:32,320 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 2: these this darkness pass through us, and we support each

1302
01:08:36,439 --> 01:08:39,880
Speaker 2: other in birth, but it's really the birth of ourselves.

1303
01:08:39,960 --> 01:08:42,160
Speaker 2: And Erica and I are the duels, and all the

1304
01:08:42,200 --> 01:08:45,200
Speaker 2: women who attend are the duels to one another. To

1305
01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:50,920
Speaker 2: usher out these parts of us that we've forgotten, and

1306
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,000
Speaker 2: the parts of us that we've forgotten, to let go

1307
01:08:53,120 --> 01:08:57,800
Speaker 2: of the pain, the disappointments, you know, the attachment to

1308
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,479
Speaker 2: things we no longer want to be attached to, that

1309
01:09:00,560 --> 01:09:03,960
Speaker 2: we all share common common ground on and like the

1310
01:09:04,120 --> 01:09:09,479
Speaker 2: entire that's what it is like. Retreat is a duelied

1311
01:09:09,640 --> 01:09:14,200
Speaker 2: rebirth of your room, of yourself and releasing the parts

1312
01:09:14,200 --> 01:09:16,920
Speaker 2: of you that no longer serve you and calling back

1313
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:19,639
Speaker 2: in the inner child. It's a rebirth of your inner child.

1314
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:20,840
Speaker 1: And it does.

1315
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:23,280
Speaker 2: It takes free to be in a childlike state. It

1316
01:09:23,320 --> 01:09:25,720
Speaker 2: takes you to be at a pool in the sunshine

1317
01:09:25,760 --> 01:09:28,160
Speaker 2: on the beach with your girls. It takes you to

1318
01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:30,400
Speaker 2: be maybe with what girls you don't know anymore, Like

1319
01:09:30,439 --> 01:09:34,600
Speaker 2: you don't know at all, because you have the courage

1320
01:09:34,920 --> 01:09:37,440
Speaker 2: to be who you were as a child.

1321
01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:40,879
Speaker 1: And uh, it's really really, really beautiful.

1322
01:09:41,040 --> 01:09:43,880
Speaker 2: And it is nice to have the children there because

1323
01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:46,000
Speaker 2: it's a reminder.

1324
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:49,840
Speaker 1: A reminder. Yeah, it's a reminder be like them, be

1325
01:09:50,040 --> 01:09:53,519
Speaker 1: like this. Yeah. And they didn't have any problem telling

1326
01:09:53,600 --> 01:09:56,280
Speaker 1: us their feelings either, because that's the same thing with kids.

1327
01:09:56,320 --> 01:09:58,360
Speaker 1: Like our kids were like, this is how we feel.

1328
01:09:58,760 --> 01:09:59,719
Speaker 1: You're not paying attention.

1329
01:10:00,479 --> 01:10:03,240
Speaker 2: Why did you have us come out here? I could

1330
01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:06,840
Speaker 2: have done this at home, is what Luno said. I said,

1331
01:10:06,920 --> 01:10:09,080
Speaker 2: what would you have been doing at your grandmother's house?

1332
01:10:09,760 --> 01:10:12,760
Speaker 1: Playing? She said, no, I'm going to the jump zone.

1333
01:10:12,760 --> 01:10:15,000
Speaker 1: I said, who was going to take you? She said Murray.

1334
01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:21,599
Speaker 2: I said, well, Marie is here, and and like her

1335
01:10:21,760 --> 01:10:26,320
Speaker 2: saying you and I'm like, well, you're in a floor

1336
01:10:26,400 --> 01:10:31,120
Speaker 2: to ceiling windowed castle off the side of the ocean cliff. Miss,

1337
01:10:31,400 --> 01:10:33,920
Speaker 2: You're pretty lucky. I'd rather be playing here than somewhere else.

1338
01:10:34,240 --> 01:10:36,519
Speaker 2: But it was like those are her feelings, and like

1339
01:10:36,560 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 2: the fact that she had the intelligence and the vocabulary to.

1340
01:10:41,040 --> 01:10:44,719
Speaker 1: Express Hey, bitch, you could have brought.

1341
01:10:44,600 --> 01:10:46,400
Speaker 2: Me a little bit later in the game, you know,

1342
01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:47,760
Speaker 2: like I didn't need to be here if you weren't

1343
01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:50,000
Speaker 2: going to be spending time with us. And so like

1344
01:10:50,120 --> 01:10:52,640
Speaker 2: we would do days of healing and then go do

1345
01:10:52,880 --> 01:10:58,519
Speaker 2: fourteen tiktoks with our kids, you know, And that's like

1346
01:10:58,920 --> 01:11:06,280
Speaker 2: that's another thing, being allowing each other to unravel and

1347
01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:10,839
Speaker 2: express the feelings and normalizing listening to your daughter's feelings,

1348
01:11:10,840 --> 01:11:14,080
Speaker 2: to your sister's feelings, you know. Even you know, our

1349
01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:17,080
Speaker 2: nanny was like having a day because she's watching two

1350
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:23,000
Speaker 2: kids all day, being hidden, and she.

1351
01:11:24,360 --> 01:11:25,639
Speaker 1: Was like, I was just having a hard day.

1352
01:11:25,760 --> 01:11:29,280
Speaker 2: I think it's the new moon, and you know, a

1353
01:11:29,400 --> 01:11:31,519
Speaker 2: guy was bothering me. Whatever she was going through, and

1354
01:11:31,560 --> 01:11:34,720
Speaker 2: I was like girl, you have to express that. You

1355
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:37,439
Speaker 2: have to talk to us like this is a part

1356
01:11:37,640 --> 01:11:42,200
Speaker 2: of the village, and it's like, no matter what's the relationship,

1357
01:11:42,320 --> 01:11:44,800
Speaker 2: you know, even if it's not your closest friend, hold

1358
01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:47,320
Speaker 2: space for the next woman, Hey are you good? I'm

1359
01:11:47,320 --> 01:11:48,920
Speaker 2: the type of bitch if I'm walking down the street

1360
01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:50,960
Speaker 2: I can see a stranger crying, like are you good?

1361
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:51,439
Speaker 1: Are you okay?

1362
01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:54,720
Speaker 2: I will hug a stranger, you know whatever, But like

1363
01:11:54,840 --> 01:11:56,800
Speaker 2: some sometimes we forget to do that or like I

1364
01:11:56,840 --> 01:11:57,920
Speaker 2: don't have time for this today.

1365
01:11:58,479 --> 01:12:00,519
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know. She got her own problems,

1366
01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:00,800
Speaker 1: you know.

1367
01:12:01,320 --> 01:12:04,479
Speaker 2: And it's just like even in a work environment, even

1368
01:12:04,520 --> 01:12:07,920
Speaker 2: with each other, even with their kids, in all spaces,

1369
01:12:08,040 --> 01:12:12,720
Speaker 2: be compassionate and empathetic and recognize that, like it just

1370
01:12:12,760 --> 01:12:17,440
Speaker 2: be having bad days because we're moody, because we feel everything.

1371
01:12:17,560 --> 01:12:19,920
Speaker 2: And that's a part of being a woman, you know.

1372
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:23,840
Speaker 2: It's just so we are like the water and we

1373
01:12:23,880 --> 01:12:26,679
Speaker 2: can take on a lot of spaces and a lot

1374
01:12:26,680 --> 01:12:32,400
Speaker 2: of forms, but we're also very easily imprinted upon, and

1375
01:12:32,439 --> 01:12:35,200
Speaker 2: you have to be like able to like guard it

1376
01:12:35,320 --> 01:12:39,200
Speaker 2: and also give grace to others and listen and be

1377
01:12:39,280 --> 01:12:41,080
Speaker 2: like you're right daughter.

1378
01:12:41,240 --> 01:12:41,800
Speaker 1: I thought that.

1379
01:12:41,880 --> 01:12:43,479
Speaker 2: I was like, listen, I thought that you would like

1380
01:12:43,520 --> 01:12:46,400
Speaker 2: to be here with your friend. We're working right now,

1381
01:12:46,439 --> 01:12:48,559
Speaker 2: but I'm we're at the end, you know, we have

1382
01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:49,400
Speaker 2: time at the end of.

1383
01:12:49,320 --> 01:12:50,120
Speaker 1: The trip together.

1384
01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:52,679
Speaker 2: And that's all I could offer her is the truth,

1385
01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:55,960
Speaker 2: and the truth is overall, she doesn't really give a

1386
01:12:55,960 --> 01:12:58,120
Speaker 2: fuck about this big ass villa on the side of

1387
01:12:58,160 --> 01:12:58,519
Speaker 2: the ocean.

1388
01:12:58,560 --> 01:12:59,920
Speaker 1: She just wants to hang out with her mom.

1389
01:13:00,400 --> 01:13:03,719
Speaker 2: And she proved it because later on the last stretch

1390
01:13:03,760 --> 01:13:08,639
Speaker 2: of the trip, my dear loving friend booked an airbnb.

1391
01:13:09,760 --> 01:13:11,760
Speaker 1: In the middle of I don't know, I don't know.

1392
01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:15,840
Speaker 1: It was on booking dot com, and booking dot com

1393
01:13:15,880 --> 01:13:18,880
Speaker 1: had five stars, had lots of reviews. I did not

1394
01:13:19,080 --> 01:13:20,519
Speaker 1: know that it was very local.

1395
01:13:20,640 --> 01:13:24,320
Speaker 2: We were on a budget, so it was very budget friendly.

1396
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:27,320
Speaker 2: It was nice side, it was nice on the inside.

1397
01:13:27,439 --> 01:13:30,120
Speaker 2: On the outside it was sketch and I was like,

1398
01:13:30,680 --> 01:13:32,519
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, just on I think you're

1399
01:13:32,520 --> 01:13:35,519
Speaker 2: bougier than me. I'm boogier than you, because I was

1400
01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:39,000
Speaker 2: before we went, and I was like, cancel it, find

1401
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:41,760
Speaker 2: another one. You're gonna You're gonna take me from the

1402
01:13:42,360 --> 01:13:43,720
Speaker 2: side of the ocean mansion to.

1403
01:13:43,720 --> 01:13:47,920
Speaker 1: This what the fuck we're grounding. I was like, I'm

1404
01:13:47,960 --> 01:13:48,719
Speaker 1: two grounded.

1405
01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:49,040
Speaker 2: Uh.

1406
01:13:50,240 --> 01:13:52,800
Speaker 1: And so we went inside and the girls were like,

1407
01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:56,599
Speaker 1: I love it. It's so amazing. Oh my god, it's beat Wait. Wait.

1408
01:13:56,640 --> 01:13:59,639
Speaker 1: The best part was when they opened the windows and

1409
01:13:59,760 --> 01:14:02,280
Speaker 1: the backyard was not It was like it was like

1410
01:14:02,320 --> 01:14:05,120
Speaker 1: a broken down garage of our next door neighbor, like

1411
01:14:05,160 --> 01:14:08,439
Speaker 1: a fucked up, like lot, overgrown. It was not good

1412
01:14:08,439 --> 01:14:10,720
Speaker 1: at all. They're like, the view is beautiful.

1413
01:14:12,040 --> 01:14:14,080
Speaker 2: They're like, oh my god, there's so many hide and

1414
01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:19,280
Speaker 2: seek spots. I was like, what the fuck? I was like,

1415
01:14:19,360 --> 01:14:20,639
Speaker 2: am I a bitch? Because I was great.

1416
01:14:20,720 --> 01:14:22,160
Speaker 1: They were like they were just happy to get out

1417
01:14:22,160 --> 01:14:23,920
Speaker 1: of the other spot that this means Mom's not working

1418
01:14:23,920 --> 01:14:24,200
Speaker 1: it right.

1419
01:14:24,200 --> 01:14:26,120
Speaker 2: They're like, they're going to be our friend. I mean,

1420
01:14:26,120 --> 01:14:27,880
Speaker 2: I'm sure they found the reason talk shit to us

1421
01:14:27,920 --> 01:14:31,480
Speaker 2: twenty four hours later, but it was a true testimony

1422
01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:34,559
Speaker 2: to they don't give a fuck, you know, but also

1423
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:39,200
Speaker 2: just yeah, like the feelings, you know, accepting that even

1424
01:14:39,240 --> 01:14:42,640
Speaker 2: people you work with, even people, everybody's gonna have feelings,

1425
01:14:42,680 --> 01:14:46,160
Speaker 2: and why not validate them and give them a hug

1426
01:14:46,200 --> 01:14:48,720
Speaker 2: and move on instead of taking it personally?

1427
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:52,479
Speaker 1: Amen, Sister, let the.

1428
01:14:52,439 --> 01:14:55,360
Speaker 2: Church say amen, Do we need one of those buttons

1429
01:14:55,400 --> 01:14:58,519
Speaker 2: like pasture pasture weed, so like.

1430
01:14:58,479 --> 01:15:01,640
Speaker 1: That you put it right here? Hell yeah, I mean

1431
01:15:01,640 --> 01:15:04,080
Speaker 1: I have to wear headphones. No, you know, refuse to

1432
01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:06,760
Speaker 1: wear headphones. We're not those podcasters. This is a TV show.

1433
01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:08,519
Speaker 1: Anytime we go to a podcast, DUDEO, they try to

1434
01:15:08,520 --> 01:15:09,960
Speaker 1: give us headphones, We're like, we don't do them. We

1435
01:15:09,960 --> 01:15:12,040
Speaker 1: don't do those. I have an afro. I don't know

1436
01:15:12,040 --> 01:15:14,280
Speaker 1: if that's really gonna work for me, then.

1437
01:15:14,160 --> 01:15:16,439
Speaker 2: We're gonna be like our audio isn't good like bit

1438
01:15:16,439 --> 01:15:18,320
Speaker 2: because you shouldn't be wearing your fucking headphones.

1439
01:15:22,840 --> 01:15:26,960
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, I'm really excited for our retreat in Costa Rica.

1440
01:15:27,080 --> 01:15:29,519
Speaker 1: I can't wait. It's like our It's like our home base.

1441
01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:33,759
Speaker 2: It just keeps evolving, and it's really beautiful to witness.

1442
01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:36,559
Speaker 1: Now that we've gone somewhere else and coming back there

1443
01:15:36,680 --> 01:15:39,200
Speaker 1: feels even more epic. For some reason, I don't know why.

1444
01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:42,960
Speaker 1: I'm just super excited to invite the women back to

1445
01:15:43,320 --> 01:15:49,439
Speaker 1: like our home, our home base. Yeah. So if you're

1446
01:15:49,479 --> 01:15:52,479
Speaker 1: interested in coming, if the good vibe sounds like your vibe,

1447
01:15:52,520 --> 01:15:55,880
Speaker 1: make sure you check us out in Costa Rica February

1448
01:15:55,920 --> 01:16:01,200
Speaker 1: first through the sixth or February eighth through the thirteenth.

1449
01:16:01,960 --> 01:16:05,320
Speaker 1: It's going to be everything we just talked about plus more.

1450
01:16:05,640 --> 01:16:09,080
Speaker 1: It's such a beautiful, beautiful property, such a beautiful space.

1451
01:16:09,680 --> 01:16:11,840
Speaker 1: All the women that come are supposed to be there.

1452
01:16:11,840 --> 01:16:16,400
Speaker 1: It's like this sacred sister sorority, spiritual sorority energy that

1453
01:16:16,439 --> 01:16:19,960
Speaker 1: gets created when when we link up and we let

1454
01:16:20,360 --> 01:16:24,920
Speaker 1: God kind of play the conductor of Okay, you are

1455
01:16:24,960 --> 01:16:26,800
Speaker 1: going to be here this you're gonna come on week one,

1456
01:16:26,840 --> 01:16:29,000
Speaker 1: You're gonna come on week two. Even like this last

1457
01:16:29,040 --> 01:16:30,680
Speaker 1: retreat one girl was supposed to be in week two

1458
01:16:30,680 --> 01:16:32,080
Speaker 1: and then switched to week one, and I was like,

1459
01:16:32,120 --> 01:16:34,400
Speaker 1: you were supposed to be in this week for a reason.

1460
01:16:35,320 --> 01:16:38,080
Speaker 1: So I'm just excited to bring you guys back to

1461
01:16:38,080 --> 01:16:40,880
Speaker 1: Costa Rica. Let's make sure you check out the link

1462
01:16:40,920 --> 01:16:45,479
Speaker 1: in our episode to get the details on that. We

1463
01:16:45,520 --> 01:16:47,760
Speaker 1: pulled a card at the top of the show. We

1464
01:16:47,840 --> 01:16:52,880
Speaker 1: did what was it? Oh? Got me a little? I

1465
01:16:52,960 --> 01:16:54,360
Speaker 1: know back would be Hitt and girl.

1466
01:16:56,080 --> 01:16:59,360
Speaker 2: This is the two Pentacles now two to one. Sorry

1467
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:03,640
Speaker 2: the two of Wand's.

1468
01:17:04,920 --> 01:17:07,800
Speaker 1: Shout out to Bitty Tiero. Should we email them one

1469
01:17:07,880 --> 01:17:10,600
Speaker 1: day and tell them we like we use them exclusively

1470
01:17:10,640 --> 01:17:12,720
Speaker 1: on the show We Can Trouble. I don't think we've

1471
01:17:12,720 --> 01:17:16,360
Speaker 1: ever even told them we should.

1472
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:26,080
Speaker 2: Upright means future planning, progress, decisions, discovery, and HM. The

1473
01:17:26,120 --> 01:17:29,800
Speaker 2: Two of Wan's takes the spark of inspiration from the

1474
01:17:29,840 --> 01:17:32,880
Speaker 2: Ace of Wands and turns it into a clear action plan.

1475
01:17:33,439 --> 01:17:35,720
Speaker 2: You went through the discovery phase, and now what you

1476
01:17:35,760 --> 01:17:38,960
Speaker 2: want to manifest? Now you need to figure out how

1477
01:17:39,160 --> 01:17:42,439
Speaker 2: you're exploring your options and carefully plotting out the path ahead,

1478
01:17:42,840 --> 01:17:46,639
Speaker 2: accounting for all possibilities and potential challenges. You are open

1479
01:17:46,680 --> 01:17:49,880
Speaker 2: to growth and exploring new territories so long as you

1480
01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:53,240
Speaker 2: maintain a level of certainty that your efforts will work

1481
01:17:53,280 --> 01:17:56,919
Speaker 2: out in the end. When the Two of WANs appears

1482
01:17:56,960 --> 01:17:59,280
Speaker 2: in a Taro reading, you're not ready to make your move.

1483
01:17:59,360 --> 01:18:01,599
Speaker 2: It's more importan and that you establish a clear plan

1484
01:18:01,680 --> 01:18:05,520
Speaker 2: before proceeding. The Two of One's is also about discovery,

1485
01:18:05,600 --> 01:18:08,479
Speaker 2: particularly as you step outside of your comfort zone and

1486
01:18:08,600 --> 01:18:12,840
Speaker 2: explore new worlds and experiences. It may take courage to

1487
01:18:12,880 --> 01:18:15,200
Speaker 2: set out, but this card gives you the confidence of

1488
01:18:15,240 --> 01:18:18,200
Speaker 2: self knowledge. You know what your goal is and you

1489
01:18:18,240 --> 01:18:21,960
Speaker 2: are sure of its eventual fulfillment. Let your intuition and

1490
01:18:22,040 --> 01:18:27,000
Speaker 2: passion guide you as you confirm your next steps. It

1491
01:18:27,520 --> 01:18:31,240
Speaker 2: considers your It indicates you're considering longer term goals and

1492
01:18:31,280 --> 01:18:34,000
Speaker 2: aspirations and are ready to plan what you need to

1493
01:18:34,080 --> 01:18:35,600
Speaker 2: do to achieve them.

1494
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:36,840
Speaker 1: Sounds about right.

1495
01:18:37,280 --> 01:18:41,320
Speaker 2: Also, shout out to Mahogany Tiro all brown and black

1496
01:18:41,360 --> 01:18:43,320
Speaker 2: people on the deck our favorite deck.

1497
01:18:44,520 --> 01:18:47,519
Speaker 1: Well that resonates with I think, where I'm at, where

1498
01:18:47,560 --> 01:18:47,880
Speaker 1: we're at.

1499
01:18:49,040 --> 01:18:54,559
Speaker 2: Yeah, long term plans. We've been doing this for five years, Darling.

1500
01:18:57,600 --> 01:19:02,280
Speaker 2: Our baby is five years old. Entity be birthed, Entity

1501
01:19:02,320 --> 01:19:03,559
Speaker 2: be birth is five years old.

1502
01:19:03,840 --> 01:19:08,160
Speaker 1: Wow. Shout out to everybody who's been listening for five years. Yeah,

1503
01:19:08,240 --> 01:19:10,000
Speaker 1: I know it's been quite a journey. If you're listening,

1504
01:19:10,040 --> 01:19:12,840
Speaker 1: I mean obviously hello all new listeners, But if you're

1505
01:19:12,880 --> 01:19:17,760
Speaker 1: an og listener, I love you. I fucking love you.

1506
01:19:18,000 --> 01:19:20,120
Speaker 1: I really do love you. Thank you. Thank you for

1507
01:19:20,200 --> 01:19:22,960
Speaker 1: staking by us, thank you for riding with us. Thank

1508
01:19:23,000 --> 01:19:26,880
Speaker 1: you for not judging us or judging us, and then

1509
01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:30,639
Speaker 1: not judging us again allowing us to be that process

1510
01:19:30,680 --> 01:19:36,160
Speaker 1: for you. And I'm just I'm just grateful for this

1511
01:19:36,280 --> 01:19:40,880
Speaker 1: space that I've been given to feel safe to share

1512
01:19:41,600 --> 01:19:46,080
Speaker 1: the inner workings of my thoughts, my life, my mistakes,

1513
01:19:46,920 --> 01:19:55,679
Speaker 1: my judgments, and I'm high me too, and I'm high,

1514
01:19:55,720 --> 01:19:58,640
Speaker 1: So thank you. I'm high at org, so thank you.

1515
01:19:58,800 --> 01:20:03,000
Speaker 1: I'm high. Well, what did you do? You? Letting me get

1516
01:20:03,040 --> 01:20:06,920
Speaker 1: high at work guys as hard as my end and

1517
01:20:06,920 --> 01:20:09,599
Speaker 1: talk to my friend every week? Thank you appreciate that.

1518
01:20:09,640 --> 01:20:11,200
Speaker 1: I really do, I really do.

1519
01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:13,760
Speaker 2: Who knows, like if we'd even been friends had it

1520
01:20:13,800 --> 01:20:16,640
Speaker 2: not been for the podcast like real friends.

1521
01:20:18,320 --> 01:20:20,719
Speaker 1: Well, something told me to go to that bathroom, something

1522
01:20:20,760 --> 01:20:23,080
Speaker 1: told me to come to that bar, or something brought

1523
01:20:23,080 --> 01:20:27,360
Speaker 1: me to your instagram somehow I didn't know to I

1524
01:20:27,400 --> 01:20:29,920
Speaker 1: never saw you really before that, and so it was

1525
01:20:30,000 --> 01:20:32,559
Speaker 1: all as it should be. Imperfect timing.

1526
01:20:33,439 --> 01:20:36,599
Speaker 2: And thank God for like Luna and Iri being able

1527
01:20:36,640 --> 01:20:38,840
Speaker 2: to have like the sisterhood that they have and be

1528
01:20:38,880 --> 01:20:42,000
Speaker 2: able to grow up grow up with each other.

1529
01:20:42,400 --> 01:20:43,840
Speaker 1: I was looking at them in Mexico and I was like,

1530
01:20:44,280 --> 01:20:48,720
Speaker 1: they've known each other their whole life, like they they

1531
01:20:48,800 --> 01:20:51,320
Speaker 1: will always have that and continue to have that, And

1532
01:20:51,360 --> 01:20:54,200
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see how that evolves, what that

1533
01:20:54,240 --> 01:20:58,880
Speaker 1: looks like as adults, teenagers and ten year olds, and

1534
01:20:59,280 --> 01:21:09,960
Speaker 1: what however it goes. You know what a blessing is? Sisterhood? Well,

1535
01:21:10,600 --> 01:21:11,880
Speaker 1: are you ready to get out of here, my love?

1536
01:21:12,320 --> 01:21:14,120
Speaker 1: I am. I have some work to do.

1537
01:21:14,960 --> 01:21:19,400
Speaker 2: I have a thirty page paper due, so gosh, college.

1538
01:21:19,160 --> 01:21:20,000
Speaker 1: I'm in college?

1539
01:21:20,400 --> 01:21:27,320
Speaker 2: Is I'm almost a tantric practitioner and sexologists.

1540
01:21:28,400 --> 01:21:29,720
Speaker 1: I love that. Oh my god, looks like you have

1541
01:21:29,760 --> 01:21:31,559
Speaker 1: a little like mole right here and it looked very

1542
01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,639
Speaker 1: you look like for some reason, you look very official.

1543
01:21:33,880 --> 01:21:37,479
Speaker 2: If I can see you, I'm Jamill Mapp, the tantric

1544
01:21:37,560 --> 01:21:41,639
Speaker 2: practitioner and sexologists. How can I help you? How can

1545
01:21:41,640 --> 01:21:45,280
Speaker 2: I help you vagina? How can improve your sex life?

1546
01:21:45,439 --> 01:21:48,040
Speaker 1: How can I improve your pleasure? How can I help

1547
01:21:48,080 --> 01:21:54,320
Speaker 1: you embody every juicy part of life, joy, sex, your sex.

1548
01:21:54,880 --> 01:22:00,679
Speaker 2: Ah, you can start by saying, I'm going to start

1549
01:22:00,680 --> 01:22:01,800
Speaker 2: all my sessions.

1550
01:22:03,400 --> 01:22:07,759
Speaker 1: When we were in the temescal at the retreat, I

1551
01:22:07,800 --> 01:22:10,000
Speaker 1: literally heard and I don't know who it was, but

1552
01:22:10,120 --> 01:22:13,080
Speaker 1: I know how every person sounds during sex. And that

1553
01:22:13,200 --> 01:22:15,960
Speaker 1: was the craziest thing to be in a womb and

1554
01:22:16,040 --> 01:22:20,080
Speaker 1: hearing everyone's sex sounds. It was like I felt overwhelmed,

1555
01:22:20,120 --> 01:22:22,800
Speaker 1: Like my heart started pounding, like I was my heart

1556
01:22:22,880 --> 01:22:25,360
Speaker 1: was racing. I felt like this energy, like building and

1557
01:22:25,360 --> 01:22:26,280
Speaker 1: building and building.

1558
01:22:27,120 --> 01:22:31,200
Speaker 2: That's the thing about tantra that really like magical, like

1559
01:22:31,600 --> 01:22:34,880
Speaker 2: whichy shit that happens in tantra is that it starts

1560
01:22:34,960 --> 01:22:39,599
Speaker 2: to teach you and like unveil the power of sex

1561
01:22:40,160 --> 01:22:43,439
Speaker 2: as women and like the power of pleasure, sexual pleasure.

1562
01:22:43,520 --> 01:22:47,000
Speaker 2: And that doesn't mean necessarily in you know, act in

1563
01:22:47,200 --> 01:22:50,280
Speaker 2: act the sex act with someone else or like you know,

1564
01:22:50,360 --> 01:22:54,759
Speaker 2: but just the energy, the energy, this life force energy,

1565
01:22:54,800 --> 01:22:57,480
Speaker 2: and it also kind of it starts to help you cultivate,

1566
01:22:57,600 --> 01:23:03,240
Speaker 2: like just destigmatizing it and not not not always having

1567
01:23:03,240 --> 01:23:06,479
Speaker 2: to be erotic. And how even in unit like even

1568
01:23:06,640 --> 01:23:09,400
Speaker 2: for like our self devotion ceremony, showing up in our

1569
01:23:09,439 --> 01:23:13,559
Speaker 2: sexual essence and moving sexually and like sweating and.

1570
01:23:13,560 --> 01:23:15,680
Speaker 1: Moaning and like doing it in.

1571
01:23:15,640 --> 01:23:20,640
Speaker 2: A non erotic but erotic platonic space is powerful. It

1572
01:23:20,800 --> 01:23:23,640
Speaker 2: is the exercise of the womb, you know, and like

1573
01:23:23,720 --> 01:23:27,839
Speaker 2: we have to exercise that sex, that sex chock remove

1574
01:23:27,880 --> 01:23:31,479
Speaker 2: it because that is really, especially as black women, like

1575
01:23:32,160 --> 01:23:37,280
Speaker 2: something that's been taken from us quite literally, and it's

1576
01:23:37,400 --> 01:23:41,160
Speaker 2: on a cellular level. We require that we have to

1577
01:23:41,280 --> 01:23:44,920
Speaker 2: build back up that that muscle memory, that spiritual memory

1578
01:23:44,920 --> 01:23:48,160
Speaker 2: of like how powerful that is without like thinking it's

1579
01:23:48,200 --> 01:23:51,599
Speaker 2: gross or nasty or lesbian or whatever. The fuck things

1580
01:23:51,640 --> 01:23:53,840
Speaker 2: people make it because I'm sure it's like people listening

1581
01:23:53,880 --> 01:23:54,360
Speaker 2: to this are.

1582
01:23:54,280 --> 01:23:56,360
Speaker 1: Like what the fuck are they doing at that retreat?

1583
01:23:58,000 --> 01:24:03,120
Speaker 1: But like just like having it be for you and

1584
01:24:03,200 --> 01:24:05,560
Speaker 1: not for an end result of something else, right, I

1585
01:24:05,560 --> 01:24:07,559
Speaker 1: think that's what people think, like, oh, you want that

1586
01:24:07,600 --> 01:24:10,280
Speaker 1: because you want attention, or you want to get fucked,

1587
01:24:10,520 --> 01:24:14,479
Speaker 1: or you want right, it's all about everything outside of yourself,

1588
01:24:14,960 --> 01:24:17,599
Speaker 1: like when you when we're in these when we're doing

1589
01:24:17,640 --> 01:24:22,760
Speaker 1: these ceremonies, it's really about kind of building up that

1590
01:24:22,840 --> 01:24:27,839
Speaker 1: sexual energy for yourself, in yourself, with each other and together,

1591
01:24:28,200 --> 01:24:31,080
Speaker 1: and there's no end result, there's no like except that

1592
01:24:31,080 --> 01:24:33,360
Speaker 1: you feel you sweat it out. There is a result

1593
01:24:33,840 --> 01:24:35,840
Speaker 1: for yourself. It's not for anything else. And I think

1594
01:24:35,840 --> 01:24:39,160
Speaker 1: even as women, like if you are listening to this

1595
01:24:39,240 --> 01:24:41,880
Speaker 1: and you're you automatically think because I think women think

1596
01:24:42,360 --> 01:24:44,519
Speaker 1: if women come together and they're doing like sexy shit,

1597
01:24:44,840 --> 01:24:45,840
Speaker 1: are they like lesbians?

1598
01:24:45,840 --> 01:24:48,639
Speaker 2: Are they like it's something nasty happening there? And it's

1599
01:24:48,640 --> 01:24:52,920
Speaker 2: like no, Then we went downstairs and ate dinner, eat

1600
01:24:53,000 --> 01:24:56,920
Speaker 2: delicious dinner, and I cried. There's just like a sensual

1601
01:24:57,080 --> 01:25:01,559
Speaker 2: aspect of like being in tune your sexual essence without

1602
01:25:01,560 --> 01:25:03,960
Speaker 2: having to give it away. And we've been so tainted

1603
01:25:04,000 --> 01:25:06,840
Speaker 2: too to be thinking that that it means that we

1604
01:25:06,880 --> 01:25:09,400
Speaker 2: want attention, that it means you want to get fucked

1605
01:25:09,600 --> 01:25:14,400
Speaker 2: it literally, we have we have come up so far

1606
01:25:14,439 --> 01:25:17,479
Speaker 2: from it because it's a form of protection. We've had

1607
01:25:17,479 --> 01:25:20,599
Speaker 2: to protect ourselves in places because we haven't been safe

1608
01:25:20,920 --> 01:25:24,400
Speaker 2: because historically bad things have happened to women who are

1609
01:25:24,760 --> 01:25:28,519
Speaker 2: sexual or sensual. But it's you have to remember that

1610
01:25:28,520 --> 01:25:30,720
Speaker 2: that is not the truest essence of it, and that's

1611
01:25:30,720 --> 01:25:33,280
Speaker 2: not how it's supposed to be. And being in those

1612
01:25:33,320 --> 01:25:37,400
Speaker 2: type of environments and cultivating those type of ceremonies and

1613
01:25:38,040 --> 01:25:41,040
Speaker 2: just energy is powerful.

1614
01:25:41,320 --> 01:25:43,120
Speaker 1: And I can just see tribes women.

1615
01:25:42,960 --> 01:25:46,519
Speaker 2: Doing it all over the world in ancient times in

1616
01:25:46,760 --> 01:25:47,679
Speaker 2: very little clothing.

1617
01:25:47,840 --> 01:25:54,320
Speaker 1: But just like bringing back the sex, bring back the sex,

1618
01:25:54,360 --> 01:25:58,680
Speaker 1: bring back sex again, I'm bringing sex back, bringing sex, feedback,

1619
01:25:59,120 --> 01:25:59,880
Speaker 1: bringing sex back.

1620
01:26:00,040 --> 01:26:04,040
Speaker 2: I'm brilliant sex back, bringing sex back to the woman.

1621
01:26:04,240 --> 01:26:06,679
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make those red Donald Trump hats that's say,

1622
01:26:06,960 --> 01:26:10,360
Speaker 1: bring back sex again, make sex, make sex, makes sex

1623
01:26:10,400 --> 01:26:13,559
Speaker 1: great again, make sex pleasurable again, bring back sex, make

1624
01:26:14,360 --> 01:26:19,960
Speaker 1: sex good again, good again. We're gonna work on work

1625
01:26:19,960 --> 01:26:25,200
Speaker 1: in progress. Oh my gosh. Anyway, I love you, I

1626
01:26:25,280 --> 01:26:28,599
Speaker 1: love you, thank you, thank you, thank you guys, and

1627
01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:32,000
Speaker 1: we'll see you next week. Make sure you go rate

1628
01:26:32,040 --> 01:26:35,240
Speaker 1: and review us on Apple Podcast, check out The Retreat,

1629
01:26:35,760 --> 01:26:40,439
Speaker 1: check out our cute ass merch and see you next week.

1630
01:27:00,200 --> 01:27:01,800
Speaker 1: Just moving up, Elana J.

1631
01:27:02,439 --> 01:27:06,360
Speaker 2: Sologala record The Lallos and Elas

1632
01:27:13,920 --> 01:27:14,320
Speaker 1: M hmm