1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:06,040 Speaker 1: You don't know me your confession, I can't take back 2 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 1: earl arms. 3 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,880 Speaker 2: Mouse speak text to seven eighty five nine two says 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,079 Speaker 2: I'm on level nine, four hundred and thirty six of 5 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 2: Candy Crush Saga, and it definitely feels more like a 6 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,439 Speaker 2: confession than a proud a chief. 7 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 3: Yeah. 8 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 4: How much money you see that is? So that's a 9 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 4: lot of years. 10 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 2: Don't feel bad though, Brooke crushes Candy's irl at her 11 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 2: desk every single day. 12 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:34,520 Speaker 1: I can't double thousand a week. 13 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, we're the perfect people to confess your secrets too, 14 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 2: because we've all done embarrassing stuff just as bad, if 15 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 2: not ten times worse. 16 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:46,839 Speaker 4: So let's shame spiral together. 17 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 2: You're on the mass speaker, and right now we've got 18 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:50,880 Speaker 2: a guy on the phone who wants to come clean 19 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 2: using the fake name Seth. 20 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 4: So Seth, welcome to the show. 21 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:55,640 Speaker 3: Hey, I'm a gone guy. 22 00:00:56,040 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: How far down the spiral are you today? 23 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 2: When we're joining you on the Journey Voice changers on? 24 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 2: You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear 25 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,320 Speaker 2: your confession, all right? 26 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 3: All right, So a few months ago, I got broke 27 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 3: into being part of a bachelor charity option bachelor. 28 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 4: Oh what are you? 29 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I have to people bid on you for a date. 30 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:22,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. My friend's girlfriend was organizing it, 31 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,160 Speaker 3: and she said they needed young, eligible guys with decent hair. 32 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 3: So I was like, all right, you know, I got 33 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 3: a good set of hair. I'm single. So they convinced 34 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 3: me to do it, all right, all right, And I 35 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 3: didn't think anyone would actually bed on me because they 36 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 3: had some other really good looking guys. And then there 37 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,440 Speaker 3: was a gym trainer. One guy was playing guitar, you 38 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 3: know already, yeah, your experience. 39 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 1: But the people who bid on me were not, like 40 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,399 Speaker 1: they didn't actually want a date. 41 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 4: For the charity bid. 42 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 2: On you was the charity that's my service to society. 43 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 4: Right there. She feels good about herself now, but. 44 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: It's nerve wracking because it's like, oh my god, I 45 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: want to high bid, like my ego was on the line. 46 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, did you feel that way? 47 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 2: Yeah? 48 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 3: So I walk on stage, you know, this normal dude, 49 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 3: regular clothes and all that kind of stuff, and uh, 50 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 3: this older woman in the front row raised her paddle immediately, 51 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:17,560 Speaker 3: no hesitation. Yeah yeah, yeah she was older. And the 52 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:23,119 Speaker 3: final bid was seventy five blocks and she won seventy. 53 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:28,200 Speaker 1: Five Okay, not too bad for her granddaughter, right or 54 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:28,840 Speaker 1: is it her right? 55 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 2: That's true. 56 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,360 Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, great, someone's mom just bought me. But 57 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:33,959 Speaker 3: you know, at least I was able to help out. 58 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 4: No big deal, okay, so smart. So I didn't think 59 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,520 Speaker 4: of that she could be buying it for somebody else 60 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 4: or which would be really cute. 61 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,799 Speaker 1: I was thinking, I mean to get roped into doing 62 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:42,639 Speaker 1: free yard work. O. 63 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 4: Man, let's get him to do that. 64 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 3: My grandma always has a list of stuff for the 65 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 3: young neighbors to do charity. 66 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 2: Speaking of chairs I have when I need you to fix, 67 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 2: seventy five bucks would be a discount for that services. 68 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 4: So did you Oh my god, did you meet her? What? 69 00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 4: What did? What? Was she like? 70 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,079 Speaker 3: So like offstage and I meet her. I found out 71 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,680 Speaker 3: her name is Helen, she's seventy six years old, and 72 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 3: she's really excited to take me out. 73 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:10,560 Speaker 4: I actually wants to spend time with you. 74 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 3: Yeah you know, so I was like, okay, we exchanged information. 75 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:16,760 Speaker 3: A few days later, we go on our dates. She 76 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 3: brings me out to this jazz brunch spot. 77 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:22,680 Speaker 1: It was really this is starting to sound a little 78 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,720 Speaker 1: strange to me right. 79 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,680 Speaker 3: I was like, I don't know where this is going. 80 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 3: She orders herself a victory of oysters and just starts 81 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 3: talking about a third husband, talking about her third husband Ted. 82 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,920 Speaker 3: The disappointment. 83 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: Sounds like this woman's got confidence thinking she's actually going 84 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: to make it happen. 85 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 3: WHOA right, and we just start talking. You know, it's weird. 86 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 3: I'm super into it, Like, not romantically by any means, 87 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 3: but this woman is fascinating. 88 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 4: Okay, you actually enjoyed it, you know. 89 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 3: I found out so many cool things, like she's been 90 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 3: band from two casinos in Vegas because she knows how 91 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:07,880 Speaker 3: to count cards, right, And I listen to this, she 92 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 3: said she's back in the nineties, she had an affair 93 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,400 Speaker 3: with the senator and got paid to keep it quiet. 94 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 4: Oh there's a side hustle. 95 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 1: I never thought about, what's the confession here? 96 00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 3: So I still hang out with her occasionally to this day. 97 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 4: That probably was not the intention. 98 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 3: Going in No, but like twice a month, I'll do 99 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:38,760 Speaker 3: what I call a Helen Day, and sometimes they meet 100 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,039 Speaker 3: up for breakfast and we'll go for a walk. I've 101 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 3: been to a couple of her Bingo knights at a 102 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:47,480 Speaker 3: retirement home and she tells everyone that I'm her boy toy. 103 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,720 Speaker 4: So you should not keep this a secret. You should 104 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 4: be proud to Helen's boy toy, right. 105 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 3: You know. It's just I never thought I'd be in 106 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,560 Speaker 3: my twenties hanging out with an old lady. But I 107 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 3: actually like spending time that you do. 108 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:04,599 Speaker 4: This is great. Oh my god. 109 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: Jeff's like, oh my god, why would you ever want 110 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: to hang out with someone in their seventies. You don't 111 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: know a lot of twenty year old my grandma, thirty 112 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,800 Speaker 1: year old neighbor goes over from Margarita I all the time. 113 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:17,320 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I fully supported people in their seventies and eighties, 114 00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 2: Like they say the things that we're all thinking, and 115 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 2: they can get away with saying all the crazy stuff 116 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 2: that we're not allowed to. 117 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 4: Old people are cool. 118 00:05:24,839 --> 00:05:26,359 Speaker 2: You just have to find like the one that you 119 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 2: can complain with. 120 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, and they have the best medications. 121 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,599 Speaker 2: Oh my god, if you can get them to share 122 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 2: high cholesterol. 123 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:36,720 Speaker 3: I've been offered her too. 124 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 2: You better watch out, Seth, because soon, if you're not careful, 125 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 2: you're going to end up being ex husband number four 126 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 2: for her. 127 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 3: I don't know all that you get put in the will. 128 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 1: It may not be a bad move. 129 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a valid point. 130 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 4: Actually, well, hey tell Helen, we say what's up all right? Well, 131 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 4: oh my god, what a wholesome story. Yeah, hellday is 132 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,920 Speaker 4: so fun. Text in night five nine two. 133 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,720 Speaker 2: If you have a confession you've been holding on to, 134 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,159 Speaker 2: we can hydrar identity mask your voice and make you 135 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,240 Speaker 2: our next mass speaker. 136 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,960 Speaker 4: Your phone TAP's coming up right after this.