WEBVTT - Be careful! What is your identity? 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:02.639 Every day that goes by, you're gonna feel a little 0:00:02.680 --> 0:00:05.960 bit more content without her, and you're gonnaeel a little 0:00:06.000 --> 0:00:07.960 bit more content with who you are. What if she 0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:10.680 did come back, and what if you continue to worship 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:13.000 her and glorify her, and what if what if you 0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:16.040 lost her to a car accident? Then you're you're on 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:26.000 suicide watch at that point, because she is your identity. 0:00:30.840 --> 0:00:33.680 What's up? Guys, Welcome to the podcast this episode one 0:00:33.720 --> 0:00:36.360 O two. This is gonna be a good one. Good 0:00:36.360 --> 0:00:40.040 buddy of mine. First time guest on here. Daniel Gonzalez, 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:44.440 a Michigan boy, finally got Michigan represented on the podcast. 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:49.120 A lot of people from Michigan listening to this podcast. Well, hey, listen, 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:54.120 go State, Go Green, go White. That's that's all my 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:56.920 Ganzala side there, but my mama's sides in Texas. I've 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:59.280 been in Texas a long time, so I don't sound 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:03.160 like I'm from Mission. I hear you. Well, yeah, Lansing, Michigan, 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:07.160 that's right. Just get that cleared up. It's not a 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:10.560 big blue here, No, it's not. It's not. And you know, 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:14.319 if you do represent the Wolverines, I'm so sorry. I'm 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:18.360 pray for you. We can't all be perfect. So on 0:01:18.400 --> 0:01:23.319 this podcast we Daniel, we answer questions, and you're a 0:01:23.319 --> 0:01:25.960 perfect guy for it. I feel very blessed that you're 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:28.759 in my life because if I need some advice, if 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:32.280 I need to talk through something in long form, you're 0:01:32.280 --> 0:01:35.039 one of the guys on a call. The way we 0:01:35.040 --> 0:01:37.720 set up this podcast, it's like we're sitting around a 0:01:37.720 --> 0:01:40.920 campfire or we're driving in a truck and it's me 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:43.039 and you and one other person and they say, hey, guys, 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:45.360 could I ask you something something that's been going on 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:48.120 in my life. It could be about life. Could be 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:50.800 about music. What you're a musician too. You're a pastor 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:53.360 and a musician, so that works out great. Could be 0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:55.920 about a relationship or a job. It really could be 0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:59.760 about anything. You just email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:03.040 dot calm. Then I put these together and I'll just 0:02:03.040 --> 0:02:06.800 grab them in no particular order and no particular subject, 0:02:07.040 --> 0:02:09.680 and then we'll walk through it as if we're sitting 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:11.200 in the cab of a truck on a road trip 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:13.560 like me and you have been on the floor, just 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:16.799 walking through it, and and hey, we're not always right, 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:19.400 we don't. We don't have notes if you're watching on YouTube, 0:02:19.440 --> 0:02:22.480 we don't have notes in front of us. So we're 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:25.640 just going to walk through it as if we're living 0:02:25.680 --> 0:02:27.359 it with you, and we're gonna give you the best, 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:29.560 the best knowledge that we know of at the time. 0:02:30.200 --> 0:02:32.400 And uh, that's that's the beauty of this podcast. We 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:36.959 definitely could be wrong. Love it, Love it. I want 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:38.880 to dig in a little bit here, And like I said, 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:40.560 this is no particular order, so I'm gonna start at 0:02:40.600 --> 0:02:42.200 the top if you're ready to If you're ready to 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:45.600 dig into this, I'm all in. Let's go. This one says. 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:49.079 The subject says, I need advice. Good. It says, thank 0:02:49.120 --> 0:02:51.320 you so much for this opportunity. I'm grateful for you 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:54.760 and Amber, and I found out about you thanks to 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:57.280 a friend who kept tagging me on Parker's TikTok videos. 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.880 In fact, I just started following kid today because I 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:05.720 watched one of your podcasts. Well, y'all talked about that 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:09.880 good good, good, love it. It says, So in this situation, 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:12.200 I'm currently living with my parents because that's how things 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:15.760 go in Honduras. Shout out to Honduras, and we've been 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:17.520 having a lot of problem They've been having a lot 0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:20.520 of problems with their marriage. My dad does not respect 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:24.520 my mom. He raises his voice, always says she is 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:26.760 against him on a problem they have in the ministry 0:03:26.800 --> 0:03:29.560 they work in, because my dad has said some bad 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:34.200 stuff about his leaders. The thing is, the problem is 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:38.600 affecting me way too much with my mom. Her hair 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:41.760 is falling out, she doesn't have much energy anymore. She's 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:44.200 always down to my sister and I try to cheer up, 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:47.400 but that only helps for a while. My mom still 0:03:47.440 --> 0:03:50.920 loves my dad. I really question that my dad loves her. 0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:54.720 I've asked about them getting a divorce, but that's the 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:57.600 last thing my mom wants to do. I've prayed earnestly 0:03:57.720 --> 0:04:01.560 so the Lord will give healing to their marriage. Uh 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:03.600 and just give me wisdom on what to do. But 0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:06.560 I feel like I'm not doing enough, especially because of 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:10.400 our economic situation is also affecting this whole problem. I 0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:12.920 don't have a job because here in Honduras it's really 0:04:12.920 --> 0:04:15.160 hard to get one if you're if you haven't graduated 0:04:15.160 --> 0:04:18.640 from college. Help. I want to do more. I want 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:21.160 to help. I don't know what to do anymore. Am 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:23.440 I stressing too much about it? What should I do. 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:32.159 Thank you Granger, Ruth well, so shout out to Honduras 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:37.520 listeners and and thank you, thank you Ruth for for 0:04:37.600 --> 0:04:42.320 trusting us with something so heavy on your heart. And 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:44.839 I want to say I thank you. I think you 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:48.160 emailed the right podcast we got. We got Pastor Daniel 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:50.960 with us today. If I had anything like this going 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:53.200 on in my life, I would I will call you, 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:56.680 I will call you. So let's kind of let's break 0:04:56.680 --> 0:04:59.600 this down a little bit. Yeah, because there's a lot there. 0:04:59.760 --> 0:05:05.880 So Dad has been it's been tough lately. He's been 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:10.039 tough on Mom. Mom still loves him. Divorce is not 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:14.480 part of the conversation at all. Mom is faithful, Mom 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:17.000 is holding holding true to this. It sounds like they're 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:22.919 in ministry of some sort in Honduras. And and the 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:26.800 daughter is wanting to wanting to help, you know, I 0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:28.480 feel that on her heart. She wants to. She wants 0:05:28.520 --> 0:05:31.440 to be able to help mom and dad. She wants 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:35.720 to reconcile the marriage. And there's a financial stress to this. 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:38.560 So where do we where do we start with Ruth. 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:41.120 She's praying a lot about it, yeah, and and and 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:44.039 she's seeking help, She's seeking counsel, you know, And I 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:47.640 think that's important, an important part of of really what 0:05:47.680 --> 0:05:49.640 the Bible tells us student instructs us to do. But 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:51.960 really in everyday life is we want to make sure 0:05:51.960 --> 0:05:54.400 that we're finding the right counsel, the right right people 0:05:54.400 --> 0:05:57.039 to speak into it. And obviously we don't know. You've 0:05:57.080 --> 0:06:00.559 given us a kind of a good framework, good picture. 0:06:00.560 --> 0:06:02.359 It sounds like if I remember she said he's in 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:06.240 ministry as well, Yeah, presume maybe it's a church or 0:06:06.240 --> 0:06:09.000 some kind of a ministry related nonprofit or something of 0:06:09.040 --> 0:06:12.080 that nature, which is an even bigger deal, you know. 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:15.360 And so you know, when it goes to situations like this, 0:06:15.400 --> 0:06:17.839 as it relates to the family and it relates to 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:20.600 the position of the father and the role of the 0:06:20.600 --> 0:06:22.839 father in the family, there's a lot of weight that 0:06:22.880 --> 0:06:25.240 falls on dad. There's a lot of weight that falls there, 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:27.320 and there's a lot of responsibility that falls there. And 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:29.600 so I don't want people to shy away from that. 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.240 Does the weight of a marriage all fall on a 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:34.159 husband or the weight of a family all fall on 0:06:34.200 --> 0:06:38.240 a father. No, but certainly a tremendous amount of it does, 0:06:38.360 --> 0:06:42.719 because as we see even in statistics, whatever directions the 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:44.880 father goes. If the father goes to church, then the 0:06:45.440 --> 0:06:51.120 likelihood increases incredible. Yeah, something crazy like that, you know. 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:56.800 So I think what ends up happening is sometimes we 0:06:56.839 --> 0:06:59.600 get bogged down, especially if you're working in ministry, you 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:01.919 can get so involved doing the work of the Lord, 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:05.600 that you really kind of lose sight of your relationship 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:09.920 with the Lord, and you're doing things for God instead 0:07:09.960 --> 0:07:13.440 of doing things with God. And that can sometimes sit 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:15.600 you on a course to be in this place where 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:19.720 men who I am now has changed not for the better, 0:07:20.120 --> 0:07:22.640 And so I think we have to start with that reality. 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:27.560 My father, the father I knew, was a pastor and 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:31.480 an evangelist and missionary. I was born fifteen years as 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:34.560 late child, so I grew up with that dad. Before that. 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:37.559 We were actually just talking about this, me and Granger 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:40.880 not too long ago. My dad was a heroin attic 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:45.400 and a drug pusher. He was a very hurtful human being, 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:50.320 and he was that way with my mom. And yet 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:53.000 my mom, who sought the Lord, who followed the Lord, 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:56.520 continued to stay in that relationship and she just felt like, 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:59.840 I'm seeking God. I'm going to go passionately after God 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:03.680 and I'm going to believe that my testimony is going 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:08.240 to have an effect on Robert, who is my father. Well, 0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:11.920 it eventually did. In fact, my dad thought that she 0:08:12.040 --> 0:08:13.800 was seeing a guy at church because she would go 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:15.920 to church and come home so full of joy that 0:08:16.000 --> 0:08:17.680 he decided, Hey, I'm going to go over there and 0:08:17.680 --> 0:08:22.400 find out who it is that you're seeing, and when 0:08:22.440 --> 0:08:24.200 I do, I'm gonna do some terrible things to him, 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:27.160 you know, breathe out. So she thought he thought she 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:29.960 was cheating. That's exactly right, Yeah, yeah, yeah, there was 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:31.680 some guy there that was making her happy, and she's 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:35.320 coming over and so he begins to there was right, 0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:38.960 that was Jesus, And so she goes He ends up 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:41.800 going to church, doesn't find the guy, goes back again, 0:08:42.080 --> 0:08:45.800 goes back again, and about the fourth or fifth time, 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:50.120 God just collides with him and he's listening to the 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:54.040 message and he's realizing the terrible state that he is in. 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:56.800 He goes up to the front of the church and 0:08:56.800 --> 0:08:58.960 he just begins to lay just face down on the 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:02.680 ground and just is weeping and sobbing, and he was 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:05.080 having a God moment where he was just really begging 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:10.760 forgiveness from God and so in that he became radically saved, 0:09:11.480 --> 0:09:13.640 kicked the drugs, kicked all of that, like he was 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:19.640 a different person. However, despite that, there was still withdrawal 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:22.440 that he had to go through. There was still a 0:09:22.559 --> 0:09:25.679 repair that had to happen in the family. And I 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:29.480 love how God constitutes and utilizes these words with ree. 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:35.480 He resurrects, you know, we repent. He restores things, like 0:09:35.559 --> 0:09:38.800 he takes what is and he transforms it. And so 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:41.600 I believe that that happens through a lot of different ways. 0:09:41.679 --> 0:09:45.480 One is there has to be a reality of God. 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:47.679 And the best way for your father to see that 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:50.320 where he might have lost sight of that, is for 0:09:50.360 --> 0:09:54.079 you to be that testimony in his life, to be 0:09:54.120 --> 0:09:56.640 an encouragement as well to your mom and just say, hey, 0:09:57.160 --> 0:10:00.240 there is a love that's greater than all all this. 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:02.679 Our God can do exceedingly abundantly above all that we 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:04.520 could ever ask. Imagine. I'm going to probably quote a 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:09.240 lot of scripture references in this podcast, and then you've 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:12.360 got to confront it. And I think that's the challenging 0:10:12.440 --> 0:10:15.560 part is because there is a way to confront and love. 0:10:15.640 --> 0:10:19.040 But I would say that your father not only does 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:20.920 he need to be prayed for. Not only do you 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:23.280 want to be a good example of Christ to him, 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:27.840 but as a daughter, you can confront your father and 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:31.160 you can sit down and say there's a big issue. 0:10:31.800 --> 0:10:34.679 And for a man who's working in ministry, you're held 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:37.600 to a high standard, like the Bible actually tells us 0:10:37.600 --> 0:10:39.680 that your home is supposed to be in order for 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:44.439 you to be engaging in this. So we utilize that 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:46.439 as a way to be able to have a conversation 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:48.199 to say, I want you to see what you're doing 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:52.680 to our family. All of that's okay, all right, now, 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:54.400 we don't know what the result of that is going 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:56.720 to be. At the end of the day. Not everything 0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:59.679 that we do that is right seems to turn out 0:10:59.679 --> 0:11:01.720 the way that we would like for it to. But 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:03.160 at least at the very end of the day, we 0:11:03.200 --> 0:11:05.720 can say, I know I did right by God, I 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:08.560 know I did right by my family, and we had 0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:12.840 a conversation about it, and hopefully that can help kind 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:16.280 of maybe shake him up, maybe get a realignment going. 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:19.439 And then you've got to walk through journey of restoring 0:11:19.520 --> 0:11:23.600 rebuilding trust. Going through that journey with the family. I 0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:25.839 think it is so important, But my heart goes out 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:27.960 to you, because I know that has to be so 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:31.760 difficult dealing with what you're dealing with, to see your 0:11:31.800 --> 0:11:34.000 family in that kind of a situation. But I also 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:38.240 know that God is faithful, so good, that's so good. 0:11:38.360 --> 0:11:42.880 And I think, Ruth, I think we believe. I believe 0:11:42.920 --> 0:11:46.479 you do too. We believe that God is this restore, 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:53.160 this redeemer, this author of life. And it's easy to 0:11:53.240 --> 0:11:56.400 make that number two and to make number one. What's 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:58.760 your Okay, I get it? But what could I do now? 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:01.720 What do I need to do to restore the situation? 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:05.520 And I would encourage you to flip flop that, not 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:08.840 saying that you are already, but flip flop where you 0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:12.200 believe and you trust that God is building this story 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:15.960 and you might not even see it in your father's lifetime. 0:12:16.280 --> 0:12:19.840 You might not see the restoration that you want, the 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:24.359 storybook restoration, the Cinderella story. You might not see that unfold. 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:29.319 But regardless, God is working in you and he's working 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:33.040 with this story in some way. And for probably Daniel, 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:35.719 for your siblings, they might not have seen what you 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:39.520 saw with your dad, the restoration, and we led completely 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:43.040 different pasts, completely different lives now God has reconciled all 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:45.839 that He's redeemed, all that everybody saved, everybody serving the Lord. 0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:48.280 But we went different directions. And in fact, when I 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:51.400 would hear stories about my father in that context, I'm like, 0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:53.839 you're out of your mind, like this doesn't make any sense. 0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:56.319 But that also shows the power of how God can 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:59.520 change somebody. And so I think that's important for us 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:01.800 to hold on to, is that we put God first, 0:13:02.240 --> 0:13:03.920 and we do right by God, we do right by 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:06.560 his word and how He calls us to respond to 0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:12.160 those particular situations. And the reality is, Ruth, your father 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:15.200 should be doing it, but that's not what's happening in 0:13:15.240 --> 0:13:18.760 this context, and that's unfortunate. You know, both of us, 0:13:18.960 --> 0:13:22.760 as fathers, our hearts would just be broken if our kids, 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:26.800 if there was some kind of a gap or a 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:29.400 severing of our relationship with our kids, and so we 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:32.600 would do whatever it takes. And I do believe that 0:13:32.640 --> 0:13:35.600 sometimes we just get distracted by the wrong things, and 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:38.480 so it takes bravery on your part, and I know 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:41.480 you probably have even done it to a certain degree, 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:43.599 but in this case, being able to say, hey, we 0:13:43.679 --> 0:13:45.240 need to sit down, we need to talk about this 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:48.440 because there's a riff that's happening. We know that it 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:51.800 isn't right. We know that we all want to honor God. 0:13:52.120 --> 0:13:54.319 So let's just have that conversation and let's see where 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.719 it goes. That could start something incredibly healing for it. 0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:59.600 That's so good. And maybe that comes in the form 0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:03.200 ofquestions to death too, Like Dad, do you feel like 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:06.160 you're honoring mom the way that you the way that 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:10.319 you should be? And ask him the questions and let him. 0:14:10.880 --> 0:14:13.280 He might be defensive at first, but let him walk 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:18.040 through you. More than likely, yeah, but let him walk 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:21.400 through those answers to you, knowing that he's not going 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:24.360 to be able to prove himself right and he knows. 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:27.120 And then I also wanted to say, Ruth that your 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:30.080 last little paragraph help me. I want to do more. 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:32.200 I want to help. I don't know what to do. 0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:35.120 You're you're kind of reflecting, if you read through the songs, 0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:39.560 you're reflecting a very psalmist mentality, and that's a good thing. 0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:41.600 That's a good thing. But you don't have to ask 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:44.280 me that on you know the question here of this podcast. 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:47.200 This is your prayer. God help me. I don't know 0:14:47.240 --> 0:14:51.080 what to do. I feel lost. What should I do? 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:54.440 Just bring make that just part of your of your 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:59.000 daily prayer, and remember that God that that restoration is 0:14:59.000 --> 0:15:02.200 is in his hands. The power of the Gospel will 0:15:02.360 --> 0:15:06.200 affect your dad in some way. Like I said, you 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:08.160 might not see it, but it might be reflecting you. 0:15:08.160 --> 0:15:10.880 You could be Daniel sitting here for the next generation 0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:13.520 repeating this kind of story of what you saw and 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:16.480 what you learned. But I think you're in a good place, Ruth. 0:15:16.480 --> 0:15:18.640 I think you're asking the right questions. I think your 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:21.480 heart's in the right place. And I think what's really 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:24.200 important about this is that your mom is staying faithful. 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:27.200 She's not using divorce as an option right, and she 0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:31.119 will be rewarded for that. I'd really believe it, absolutely. 0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:34.040 And I'm dan. I'm sorry for hitting you with the 0:15:35.440 --> 0:15:38.080 first question. Oh my goodness, I should have been more. 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:40.000 I should have been better about that. Let me get 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:42.200 you something about this subject, says learning to play guitar. 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:45.360 This has got to be easier. Oh goodness, says Hey Granger. 0:15:45.400 --> 0:15:48.040 I recently purchased a guitar and I love it. I'm 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:51.000 trying to teach myself by watching YouTube videos. Is that 0:15:51.080 --> 0:15:54.000 the wrong way to learn. I'm considering guitar lessons. I 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:57.160 just want your opinion. Have you ever considered using or 0:15:57.520 --> 0:16:00.640 teaching instructional videos on guitar? Thank you for what you do. 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:05.960 This is coming from Max in North Carolina. That's an 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:09.680 interesting thing because when I learned guitar, there wasn't YouTube. 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:13.760 But I personally think if I was learning today, that 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:17.280 would be a really good tool. Oh. Absolutely, it's free. Yeah, 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:19.720 it's amazing what you can learn. You literally have the 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:22.680 best teachers in the world all sharing their stuff for free. 0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:25.040 Back in the day when I was learning, nobody would 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:27.720 share anything with you, right like you would. I remember 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:30.360 I started off on piano. We would go to churches 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:31.920 and I would try to look and see what the 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:35.440 guy was doing and he would cover. So why they 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:37.000 do that, I don't because they didn't want me to 0:16:37.000 --> 0:16:40.320 steal there. I'm like, hey, at the church down the street. 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:43.800 But whatever, that's how it has man, Max. I would 0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:46.560 I would say yes. I would say yes to your question. 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:50.720 On YouTube, they're going to personal guitar lessons. I think 0:16:50.720 --> 0:16:52.440 that's a good thing. But I would I would run 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.720 with this YouTube thing for about a year and just 0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:58.280 get some of the basics, get some basic chord progressions, 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:00.960 learn your you know the so all the you know 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:03.680 five or six seven chords that will get you through 0:17:03.720 --> 0:17:07.960 your favorite songs. Learn your sales, learn your scales. YouTube 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:12.240 will will be great for all of that. Take You 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:15.480 might want to take your guitar to a local music 0:17:15.600 --> 0:17:17.800 music shop and just ask the guys if they could 0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:20.000 set it up for you. Make sure the action is 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:22.200 good on it, meaning you don't want to you don't 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.520 want to run your your hands and your fingers ragged 0:17:24.720 --> 0:17:27.000 on a cheap guitar. Not saying that yours is cheap, 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:29.080 not saying that, just saying you might want to take 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:30.440 it just to go, hey, can you take a look 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:32.920 at this and they could get it set up where 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:34.960 it's just easier on your hands, which means you could 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:39.080 practice longer. But I'm happy for you, man, this is 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:40.840 gonna be It's gonna be a fun adventure. It might 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:47.760 just completely change your life too. Shout out to North 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:52.159 Carolina man, thank you, thank you for the question. I 0:17:52.200 --> 0:17:54.200 think I'm gonna kick this over to you, Daniel. I'm 0:17:54.200 --> 0:17:57.080 gonna read some of these these subject lines here. We 0:17:57.240 --> 0:17:59.679 got time for probably one more good question. We'll take 0:17:59.720 --> 0:18:03.000 a break. Okay, we have a question for your podcast. 0:18:03.040 --> 0:18:06.439 That's a generic we have I just got married and 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:10.840 I need help. I have quitting corporate job getting into music. 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:14.480 We have one that just says church with one that 0:18:14.480 --> 0:18:17.879 says becoming a father. I have a feeling lost in 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:21.080 a fog. Please help me, my girlfriend broke up with me, 0:18:21.240 --> 0:18:24.040 and grief. Does any of those any of those stand 0:18:24.080 --> 0:18:27.600 out right at the well, why don't we hit Let's 0:18:27.640 --> 0:18:32.560 hit the father? One carry on that that says, hey Granger. 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:36.440 My name is Kurt from Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota. Don't you 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:39.560 know I'm a huge fan of your podcast and advice 0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:42.000 that you've given to so many. I'm becoming a father 0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:46.000 this December. We've been on a long journey through infertility 0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:48.520 for the last four years and it took a huge 0:18:48.560 --> 0:18:52.800 toll in our relationship. We were actively repairing this relationship 0:18:53.080 --> 0:18:55.119 and have leaned heavily on our faith in God and 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:58.280 each other. Do you have any advice for us and 0:18:58.320 --> 0:19:00.480 for me becoming a new father and how to be 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:04.600 the best leader in our household when this baby boy arrives? 0:19:05.359 --> 0:19:10.840 Thank you, Kurt? Wow? Well, first, yes, congratulations on that. 0:19:10.920 --> 0:19:13.240 This is awesome. Yeah, this is going to be an 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:18.600 incredible ride and one of the most fulfilling times of 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:21.119 your life. But here's the thing is, oftentimes it doesn't 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:25.840 start that way. So when us as guys, sometimes we're 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:32.200 not wired as well emotionally as you know our wives are, 0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:35.680 and as moms are. You know, they've known that baby 0:19:35.720 --> 0:19:38.040 for nine months before we have ever gotten to meet 0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:40.879 that baby, and so their dynamic is a little different. 0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:42.919 As a father, I think you have to set first 0:19:43.400 --> 0:19:46.240 in your heart how you're going to raise this child. 0:19:46.280 --> 0:19:48.080 You know, am I going to raise this child? You know, 0:19:48.640 --> 0:19:50.439 as a follower of Christ, which I'm sure you are. 0:19:50.520 --> 0:19:53.879 You'll talked about your faith in God. You want to 0:19:53.920 --> 0:19:56.399 make sure you're instilling biblical principles. You want to make 0:19:57.040 --> 0:20:00.000 sure that you're taking time to spend with your baby. 0:20:00.359 --> 0:20:06.480 The thing about men is that we develop relationships based 0:20:06.480 --> 0:20:10.560 on reciprocation, right, So that's like guys, are are you 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:14.920 know that we develop friendships based on reciprocation relationships, and 0:20:15.200 --> 0:20:22.000 that with our child, Well, it's hard sometimes with an infant, yes, yeah, 0:20:20.880 --> 0:20:24.480 they're taking a lot more than they given right now, right, 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:26.480 And so I think what we have to do is 0:20:26.480 --> 0:20:28.199 we have to make sure and understand that, Hey, what 0:20:28.280 --> 0:20:31.680 I have right here in front of me is an investment. 0:20:32.359 --> 0:20:35.120 It's not just a child's not just my child, not 0:20:35.160 --> 0:20:38.000 just my baby. But what I'm doing here is when 0:20:38.000 --> 0:20:39.800 i'm talking to them, and when i'm singing to them, 0:20:39.840 --> 0:20:43.520 when I'm spending time, I'm planting seeds inside of them 0:20:44.000 --> 0:20:45.720 that are going to be watered over the course of 0:20:45.760 --> 0:20:48.399 my life with my words, with my actions, and with time, 0:20:49.280 --> 0:20:52.240 and then years later, I'm gonna see those things sprout. 0:20:52.560 --> 0:20:54.760 Hang I'm gonna pause you right there. I'm not even 0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:56.159 gonna say anything. I just want that to sink in 0:20:56.200 --> 0:20:58.959 for a second. That's good. If you guys are listening, 0:20:59.040 --> 0:21:00.800 just just stop that, just for a second. If you're 0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:03.320 a brand new dad, that is so good. You're planning 0:21:03.320 --> 0:21:06.240 seeds even when you're not getting that reciprocation back. That's 0:21:06.240 --> 0:21:08.399 important because when you plan a seed in the garden, 0:21:08.400 --> 0:21:10.960 you don't get reciprocation back. You go out and water 0:21:11.040 --> 0:21:12.880 it all the time, all the time, all the time, 0:21:12.920 --> 0:21:15.560 and maybe even get frustrated. We've just started gardening a 0:21:15.600 --> 0:21:18.520 couple of years ago, so we're learning this. But one 0:21:18.600 --> 0:21:22.560 day you go out there and there's a sprout and man, 0:21:22.640 --> 0:21:25.120 let me tell you, we partied over that little sprout. 0:21:25.400 --> 0:21:27.800 Still took a long time before it turned into fruit 0:21:27.920 --> 0:21:31.800