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Speaker 1: Every day that goes by, you're gonna feel a little

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Speaker 1: bit more content without her, and you're gonnaeel a little

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Speaker 1: bit more content with who you are. What if she

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Speaker 1: did come back, and what if you continue to worship

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Speaker 1: her and glorify her, and what if what if you

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Speaker 1: lost her to a car accident? Then you're you're on

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Speaker 1: suicide watch at that point, because she is your identity.

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Speaker 1: What's up? Guys, Welcome to the podcast this episode one

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Speaker 1: O two. This is gonna be a good one. Good

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Speaker 1: buddy of mine. First time guest on here. Daniel Gonzalez,

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Speaker 1: a Michigan boy, finally got Michigan represented on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people from Michigan listening to this podcast. Well, hey, listen,

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Speaker 1: go State, Go Green, go White. That's that's all my

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Speaker 1: Ganzala side there, but my mama's sides in Texas. I've

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Speaker 1: been in Texas a long time, so I don't sound

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Speaker 1: like I'm from Mission. I hear you. Well, yeah, Lansing, Michigan,

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Speaker 1: that's right. Just get that cleared up. It's not a

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Speaker 1: big blue here, No, it's not. It's not. And you know,

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Speaker 1: if you do represent the Wolverines, I'm so sorry. I'm

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Speaker 1: pray for you. We can't all be perfect. So on

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Speaker 1: this podcast we Daniel, we answer questions, and you're a

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Speaker 1: perfect guy for it. I feel very blessed that you're

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Speaker 1: in my life because if I need some advice, if

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Speaker 1: I need to talk through something in long form, you're

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Speaker 1: one of the guys on a call. The way we

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Speaker 1: set up this podcast, it's like we're sitting around a

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Speaker 1: campfire or we're driving in a truck and it's me

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Speaker 1: and you and one other person and they say, hey, guys,

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Speaker 1: could I ask you something something that's been going on

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Speaker 1: in my life. It could be about life. Could be

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Speaker 1: about music. What you're a musician too. You're a pastor

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Speaker 1: and a musician, so that works out great. Could be

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Speaker 1: about a relationship or a job. It really could be

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Speaker 1: about anything. You just email Granger Smith Podcast at gmail

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Speaker 1: dot calm. Then I put these together and I'll just

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Speaker 1: grab them in no particular order and no particular subject,

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Speaker 1: and then we'll walk through it as if we're sitting

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Speaker 1: in the cab of a truck on a road trip

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Speaker 1: like me and you have been on the floor, just

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Speaker 1: walking through it, and and hey, we're not always right,

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Speaker 1: we don't. We don't have notes if you're watching on YouTube,

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Speaker 1: we don't have notes in front of us. So we're

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Speaker 1: just going to walk through it as if we're living

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Speaker 1: it with you, and we're gonna give you the best,

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Speaker 1: the best knowledge that we know of at the time.

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Speaker 1: And uh, that's that's the beauty of this podcast. We

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Speaker 1: definitely could be wrong. Love it, Love it. I want

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Speaker 1: to dig in a little bit here, And like I said,

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Speaker 1: this is no particular order, so I'm gonna start at

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Speaker 1: the top if you're ready to If you're ready to

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Speaker 1: dig into this, I'm all in. Let's go. This one says.

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Speaker 1: The subject says, I need advice. Good. It says, thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for this opportunity. I'm grateful for you

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Speaker 1: and Amber, and I found out about you thanks to

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Speaker 1: a friend who kept tagging me on Parker's TikTok videos.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I just started following kid today because I

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Speaker 1: watched one of your podcasts. Well, y'all talked about that

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Speaker 1: good good, good, love it. It says, So in this situation,

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Speaker 1: I'm currently living with my parents because that's how things

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Speaker 1: go in Honduras. Shout out to Honduras, and we've been

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Speaker 1: having a lot of problem They've been having a lot

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Speaker 1: of problems with their marriage. My dad does not respect

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Speaker 1: my mom. He raises his voice, always says she is

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Speaker 1: against him on a problem they have in the ministry

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Speaker 1: they work in, because my dad has said some bad

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Speaker 1: stuff about his leaders. The thing is, the problem is

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Speaker 1: affecting me way too much with my mom. Her hair

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Speaker 1: is falling out, she doesn't have much energy anymore. She's

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Speaker 1: always down to my sister and I try to cheer up,

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Speaker 1: but that only helps for a while. My mom still

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Speaker 1: loves my dad. I really question that my dad loves her.

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Speaker 1: I've asked about them getting a divorce, but that's the

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Speaker 1: last thing my mom wants to do. I've prayed earnestly

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Speaker 1: so the Lord will give healing to their marriage. Uh

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Speaker 1: and just give me wisdom on what to do. But

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm not doing enough, especially because of

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Speaker 1: our economic situation is also affecting this whole problem. I

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Speaker 1: don't have a job because here in Honduras it's really

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Speaker 1: hard to get one if you're if you haven't graduated

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Speaker 1: from college. Help. I want to do more. I want

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Speaker 1: to help. I don't know what to do anymore. Am

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Speaker 1: I stressing too much about it? What should I do.

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Speaker 1: Thank you Granger, Ruth well, so shout out to Honduras

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Speaker 1: listeners and and thank you, thank you Ruth for for

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Speaker 1: trusting us with something so heavy on your heart. And

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Speaker 1: I want to say I thank you. I think you

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Speaker 1: emailed the right podcast we got. We got Pastor Daniel

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Speaker 1: with us today. If I had anything like this going

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Speaker 1: on in my life, I would I will call you,

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Speaker 1: I will call you. So let's kind of let's break

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Speaker 1: this down a little bit. Yeah, because there's a lot there.

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Speaker 1: So Dad has been it's been tough lately. He's been

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Speaker 1: tough on Mom. Mom still loves him. Divorce is not

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Speaker 1: part of the conversation at all. Mom is faithful, Mom

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Speaker 1: is holding holding true to this. It sounds like they're

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Speaker 1: in ministry of some sort in Honduras. And and the

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Speaker 1: daughter is wanting to wanting to help, you know, I

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Speaker 1: feel that on her heart. She wants to. She wants

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Speaker 1: to be able to help mom and dad. She wants

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Speaker 1: to reconcile the marriage. And there's a financial stress to this.

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Speaker 1: So where do we where do we start with Ruth.

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Speaker 1: She's praying a lot about it, yeah, and and and

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Speaker 1: she's seeking help, She's seeking counsel, you know, And I

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Speaker 1: think that's important, an important part of of really what

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Speaker 1: the Bible tells us student instructs us to do. But

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Speaker 1: really in everyday life is we want to make sure

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Speaker 1: that we're finding the right counsel, the right right people

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Speaker 1: to speak into it. And obviously we don't know. You've

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Speaker 1: given us a kind of a good framework, good picture.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like if I remember she said he's in

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Speaker 1: ministry as well, Yeah, presume maybe it's a church or

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Speaker 1: some kind of a ministry related nonprofit or something of

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Speaker 1: that nature, which is an even bigger deal, you know.

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Speaker 1: And so you know, when it goes to situations like this,

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Speaker 1: as it relates to the family and it relates to

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Speaker 1: the position of the father and the role of the

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Speaker 1: father in the family, there's a lot of weight that

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Speaker 1: falls on dad. There's a lot of weight that falls there,

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Speaker 1: and there's a lot of responsibility that falls there. And

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Speaker 1: so I don't want people to shy away from that.

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Speaker 1: Does the weight of a marriage all fall on a

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Speaker 1: husband or the weight of a family all fall on

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Speaker 1: a father. No, but certainly a tremendous amount of it does,

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Speaker 1: because as we see even in statistics, whatever directions the

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Speaker 1: father goes. If the father goes to church, then the

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Speaker 1: likelihood increases incredible. Yeah, something crazy like that, you know.

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Speaker 1: So I think what ends up happening is sometimes we

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Speaker 1: get bogged down, especially if you're working in ministry, you

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Speaker 1: can get so involved doing the work of the Lord,

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Speaker 1: that you really kind of lose sight of your relationship

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Speaker 1: with the Lord, and you're doing things for God instead

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Speaker 1: of doing things with God. And that can sometimes sit

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Speaker 1: you on a course to be in this place where

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Speaker 1: men who I am now has changed not for the better,

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Speaker 1: And so I think we have to start with that reality.

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Speaker 1: My father, the father I knew, was a pastor and

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Speaker 1: an evangelist and missionary. I was born fifteen years as

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Speaker 1: late child, so I grew up with that dad. Before that.

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Speaker 1: We were actually just talking about this, me and Granger

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Speaker 1: not too long ago. My dad was a heroin attic

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Speaker 1: and a drug pusher. He was a very hurtful human being,

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Speaker 1: and he was that way with my mom. And yet

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Speaker 1: my mom, who sought the Lord, who followed the Lord,

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Speaker 1: continued to stay in that relationship and she just felt like,

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Speaker 1: I'm seeking God. I'm going to go passionately after God

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Speaker 1: and I'm going to believe that my testimony is going

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Speaker 1: to have an effect on Robert, who is my father. Well,

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Speaker 1: it eventually did. In fact, my dad thought that she

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Speaker 1: was seeing a guy at church because she would go

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Speaker 1: to church and come home so full of joy that

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Speaker 1: he decided, Hey, I'm going to go over there and

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Speaker 1: find out who it is that you're seeing, and when

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Speaker 1: I do, I'm gonna do some terrible things to him,

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Speaker 1: you know, breathe out. So she thought he thought she

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Speaker 1: was cheating. That's exactly right, Yeah, yeah, yeah, there was

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Speaker 1: some guy there that was making her happy, and she's

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Speaker 1: coming over and so he begins to there was right,

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Speaker 1: that was Jesus, And so she goes He ends up

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Speaker 1: going to church, doesn't find the guy, goes back again,

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Speaker 1: goes back again, and about the fourth or fifth time,

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Speaker 1: God just collides with him and he's listening to the

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Speaker 1: message and he's realizing the terrible state that he is in.

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Speaker 1: He goes up to the front of the church and

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Speaker 1: he just begins to lay just face down on the

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Speaker 1: ground and just is weeping and sobbing, and he was

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Speaker 1: having a God moment where he was just really begging

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Speaker 1: forgiveness from God and so in that he became radically saved,

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Speaker 1: kicked the drugs, kicked all of that, like he was

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Speaker 1: a different person. However, despite that, there was still withdrawal

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Speaker 1: that he had to go through. There was still a

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Speaker 1: repair that had to happen in the family. And I

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Speaker 1: love how God constitutes and utilizes these words with ree.

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Speaker 1: He resurrects, you know, we repent. He restores things, like

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Speaker 1: he takes what is and he transforms it. And so

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Speaker 1: I believe that that happens through a lot of different ways.

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Speaker 1: One is there has to be a reality of God.

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Speaker 1: And the best way for your father to see that

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Speaker 1: where he might have lost sight of that, is for

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Speaker 1: you to be that testimony in his life, to be

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Speaker 1: an encouragement as well to your mom and just say, hey,

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Speaker 1: there is a love that's greater than all all this.

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Speaker 1: Our God can do exceedingly abundantly above all that we

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Speaker 1: could ever ask. Imagine. I'm going to probably quote a

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Speaker 1: lot of scripture references in this podcast, and then you've

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Speaker 1: got to confront it. And I think that's the challenging

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Speaker 1: part is because there is a way to confront and love.

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Speaker 1: But I would say that your father not only does

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Speaker 1: he need to be prayed for. Not only do you

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Speaker 1: want to be a good example of Christ to him,

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Speaker 1: but as a daughter, you can confront your father and

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Speaker 1: you can sit down and say there's a big issue.

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Speaker 1: And for a man who's working in ministry, you're held

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Speaker 1: to a high standard, like the Bible actually tells us

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Speaker 1: that your home is supposed to be in order for

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Speaker 1: you to be engaging in this. So we utilize that

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Speaker 1: as a way to be able to have a conversation

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Speaker 1: to say, I want you to see what you're doing

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Speaker 1: to our family. All of that's okay, all right, now,

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Speaker 1: we don't know what the result of that is going

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Speaker 1: to be. At the end of the day. Not everything

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Speaker 1: that we do that is right seems to turn out

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Speaker 1: the way that we would like for it to. But

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Speaker 1: at least at the very end of the day, we

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Speaker 1: can say, I know I did right by God, I

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Speaker 1: know I did right by my family, and we had

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Speaker 1: a conversation about it, and hopefully that can help kind

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Speaker 1: of maybe shake him up, maybe get a realignment going.

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Speaker 1: And then you've got to walk through journey of restoring

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Speaker 1: rebuilding trust. Going through that journey with the family. I

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Speaker 1: think it is so important, But my heart goes out

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Speaker 1: to you, because I know that has to be so

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Speaker 1: difficult dealing with what you're dealing with, to see your

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Speaker 1: family in that kind of a situation. But I also

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Speaker 1: know that God is faithful, so good, that's so good.

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Speaker 1: And I think, Ruth, I think we believe. I believe

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Speaker 1: you do too. We believe that God is this restore,

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Speaker 1: this redeemer, this author of life. And it's easy to

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Speaker 1: make that number two and to make number one. What's

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Speaker 1: your Okay, I get it? But what could I do now?

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Speaker 1: What do I need to do to restore the situation?

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Speaker 1: And I would encourage you to flip flop that, not

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Speaker 1: saying that you are already, but flip flop where you

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Speaker 1: believe and you trust that God is building this story

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Speaker 1: and you might not even see it in your father's lifetime.

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Speaker 1: You might not see the restoration that you want, the

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Speaker 1: storybook restoration, the Cinderella story. You might not see that unfold.

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Speaker 1: But regardless, God is working in you and he's working

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Speaker 1: with this story in some way. And for probably Daniel,

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Speaker 1: for your siblings, they might not have seen what you

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Speaker 1: saw with your dad, the restoration, and we led completely

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Speaker 1: different pasts, completely different lives now God has reconciled all

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Speaker 1: that He's redeemed, all that everybody saved, everybody serving the Lord.

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Speaker 1: But we went different directions. And in fact, when I

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Speaker 1: would hear stories about my father in that context, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you're out of your mind, like this doesn't make any sense.

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Speaker 1: But that also shows the power of how God can

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Speaker 1: change somebody. And so I think that's important for us

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Speaker 1: to hold on to, is that we put God first,

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Speaker 1: and we do right by God, we do right by

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Speaker 1: his word and how He calls us to respond to

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Speaker 1: those particular situations. And the reality is, Ruth, your father

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Speaker 1: should be doing it, but that's not what's happening in

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Speaker 1: this context, and that's unfortunate. You know, both of us,

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Speaker 1: as fathers, our hearts would just be broken if our kids,

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Speaker 1: if there was some kind of a gap or a

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Speaker 1: severing of our relationship with our kids, and so we

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Speaker 1: would do whatever it takes. And I do believe that

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Speaker 1: sometimes we just get distracted by the wrong things, and

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Speaker 1: so it takes bravery on your part, and I know

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Speaker 1: you probably have even done it to a certain degree,

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Speaker 1: but in this case, being able to say, hey, we

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Speaker 1: need to sit down, we need to talk about this

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Speaker 1: because there's a riff that's happening. We know that it

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Speaker 1: isn't right. We know that we all want to honor God.

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Speaker 1: So let's just have that conversation and let's see where

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Speaker 1: it goes. That could start something incredibly healing for it.

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Speaker 1: That's so good. And maybe that comes in the form

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Speaker 1: ofquestions to death too, Like Dad, do you feel like

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Speaker 1: you're honoring mom the way that you the way that

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Speaker 1: you should be? And ask him the questions and let him.

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Speaker 1: He might be defensive at first, but let him walk

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Speaker 1: through you. More than likely, yeah, but let him walk

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Speaker 1: through those answers to you, knowing that he's not going

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Speaker 1: to be able to prove himself right and he knows.

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Speaker 1: And then I also wanted to say, Ruth that your

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Speaker 1: last little paragraph help me. I want to do more.

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Speaker 1: I want to help. I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: You're you're kind of reflecting, if you read through the songs,

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Speaker 1: you're reflecting a very psalmist mentality, and that's a good thing.

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Speaker 1: That's a good thing. But you don't have to ask

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Speaker 1: me that on you know the question here of this podcast.

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Speaker 1: This is your prayer. God help me. I don't know

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Speaker 1: what to do. I feel lost. What should I do?

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Speaker 1: Just bring make that just part of your of your

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Speaker 1: daily prayer, and remember that God that that restoration is

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Speaker 1: is in his hands. The power of the Gospel will

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Speaker 1: affect your dad in some way. Like I said, you

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Speaker 1: might not see it, but it might be reflecting you.

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Speaker 1: You could be Daniel sitting here for the next generation

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Speaker 1: repeating this kind of story of what you saw and

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Speaker 1: what you learned. But I think you're in a good place, Ruth.

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Speaker 1: I think you're asking the right questions. I think your

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Speaker 1: heart's in the right place. And I think what's really

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Speaker 1: important about this is that your mom is staying faithful.

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Speaker 1: She's not using divorce as an option right, and she

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Speaker 1: will be rewarded for that. I'd really believe it, absolutely.

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Speaker 1: And I'm dan. I'm sorry for hitting you with the

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Speaker 1: first question. Oh my goodness, I should have been more.

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Speaker 1: I should have been better about that. Let me get

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Speaker 1: you something about this subject, says learning to play guitar.

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Speaker 1: This has got to be easier. Oh goodness, says Hey Granger.

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Speaker 1: I recently purchased a guitar and I love it. I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to teach myself by watching YouTube videos. Is that

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Speaker 1: the wrong way to learn. I'm considering guitar lessons. I

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Speaker 1: just want your opinion. Have you ever considered using or

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Speaker 1: teaching instructional videos on guitar? Thank you for what you do.

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Speaker 1: This is coming from Max in North Carolina. That's an

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Speaker 1: interesting thing because when I learned guitar, there wasn't YouTube.

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Speaker 1: But I personally think if I was learning today, that

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Speaker 1: would be a really good tool. Oh. Absolutely, it's free. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's amazing what you can learn. You literally have the

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Speaker 1: best teachers in the world all sharing their stuff for free.

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Speaker 1: Back in the day when I was learning, nobody would

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Speaker 1: share anything with you, right like you would. I remember

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Speaker 1: I started off on piano. We would go to churches

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Speaker 1: and I would try to look and see what the

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Speaker 1: guy was doing and he would cover. So why they

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Speaker 1: do that, I don't because they didn't want me to

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Speaker 1: steal there. I'm like, hey, at the church down the street.

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Speaker 1: But whatever, that's how it has man, Max. I would

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Speaker 1: I would say yes. I would say yes to your question.

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Speaker 1: On YouTube, they're going to personal guitar lessons. I think

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Speaker 1: that's a good thing. But I would I would run

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Speaker 1: with this YouTube thing for about a year and just

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Speaker 1: get some of the basics, get some basic chord progressions,

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Speaker 1: learn your you know the so all the you know

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Speaker 1: five or six seven chords that will get you through

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Speaker 1: your favorite songs. Learn your sales, learn your scales. YouTube

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Speaker 1: will will be great for all of that. Take You

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Speaker 1: might want to take your guitar to a local music

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Speaker 1: music shop and just ask the guys if they could

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Speaker 1: set it up for you. Make sure the action is

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Speaker 1: good on it, meaning you don't want to you don't

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Speaker 1: want to run your your hands and your fingers ragged

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Speaker 1: on a cheap guitar. Not saying that yours is cheap,

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Speaker 1: not saying that, just saying you might want to take

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Speaker 1: it just to go, hey, can you take a look

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Speaker 1: at this and they could get it set up where

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Speaker 1: it's just easier on your hands, which means you could

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Speaker 1: practice longer. But I'm happy for you, man, this is

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Speaker 1: gonna be It's gonna be a fun adventure. It might

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Speaker 1: just completely change your life too. Shout out to North

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Speaker 1: Carolina man, thank you, thank you for the question. I

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Speaker 1: think I'm gonna kick this over to you, Daniel. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna read some of these these subject lines here. We

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Speaker 1: got time for probably one more good question. We'll take

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Speaker 1: a break. Okay, we have a question for your podcast.

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Speaker 1: That's a generic we have I just got married and

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Speaker 1: I need help. I have quitting corporate job getting into music.

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Speaker 1: We have one that just says church with one that

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Speaker 1: says becoming a father. I have a feeling lost in

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Speaker 1: a fog. Please help me, my girlfriend broke up with me,

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Speaker 1: and grief. Does any of those any of those stand

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Speaker 1: out right at the well, why don't we hit Let's

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Speaker 1: hit the father? One carry on that that says, hey Granger.

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Speaker 1: My name is Kurt from Minnesota, Minnesota, Minnesota. Don't you

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Speaker 1: know I'm a huge fan of your podcast and advice

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Speaker 1: that you've given to so many. I'm becoming a father

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Speaker 1: this December. We've been on a long journey through infertility

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Speaker 1: for the last four years and it took a huge

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Speaker 1: toll in our relationship. We were actively repairing this relationship

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Speaker 1: and have leaned heavily on our faith in God and

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Speaker 1: each other. Do you have any advice for us and

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Speaker 1: for me becoming a new father and how to be

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Speaker 1: the best leader in our household when this baby boy arrives?

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Kurt? Wow? Well, first, yes, congratulations on that.

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Speaker 1: This is awesome. Yeah, this is going to be an

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Speaker 1: incredible ride and one of the most fulfilling times of

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Speaker 1: your life. But here's the thing is, oftentimes it doesn't

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Speaker 1: start that way. So when us as guys, sometimes we're

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Speaker 1: not wired as well emotionally as you know our wives are,

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Speaker 1: and as moms are. You know, they've known that baby

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Speaker 1: for nine months before we have ever gotten to meet

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Speaker 1: that baby, and so their dynamic is a little different.

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Speaker 1: As a father, I think you have to set first

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Speaker 1: in your heart how you're going to raise this child.

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Speaker 1: You know, am I going to raise this child? You know,

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Speaker 1: as a follower of Christ, which I'm sure you are.

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Speaker 1: You'll talked about your faith in God. You want to

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Speaker 1: make sure you're instilling biblical principles. You want to make

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Speaker 1: sure that you're taking time to spend with your baby.

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Speaker 1: The thing about men is that we develop relationships based

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Speaker 1: on reciprocation, right, So that's like guys, are are you

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Speaker 1: know that we develop friendships based on reciprocation relationships, and

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Speaker 1: that with our child, Well, it's hard sometimes with an infant, yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're taking a lot more than they given right now, right,

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Speaker 1: And so I think what we have to do is

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Speaker 1: we have to make sure and understand that, Hey, what

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Speaker 1: I have right here in front of me is an investment.

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Speaker 1: It's not just a child's not just my child, not

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Speaker 1: just my baby. But what I'm doing here is when

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Speaker 1: i'm talking to them, and when i'm singing to them,

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Speaker 1: when I'm spending time, I'm planting seeds inside of them

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Speaker 1: that are going to be watered over the course of

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Speaker 1: my life with my words, with my actions, and with time,

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Speaker 1: and then years later, I'm gonna see those things sprout.

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Speaker 1: Hang I'm gonna pause you right there. I'm not even

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Speaker 1: gonna say anything. I just want that to sink in

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Speaker 1: for a second. That's good. If you guys are listening,

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Speaker 1: just just stop that, just for a second. If you're

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Speaker 1: a brand new dad, that is so good. You're planning

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Speaker 1: seeds even when you're not getting that reciprocation back. That's

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Speaker 1: important because when you plan a seed in the garden,

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Speaker 1: you don't get reciprocation back. You go out and water

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Speaker 1: it all the time, all the time, all the time,

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Speaker 1: and maybe even get frustrated. We've just started gardening a

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Speaker 1: couple of years ago, so we're learning this. But one

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Speaker 1: day you go out there and there's a sprout and man,

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Speaker 1: let me tell you, we partied over that little sprout.

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Speaker 1: Still took a long time before it turned into fruit

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Speaker 1: or vegetation whatever, but that little sprout. And there's times

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Speaker 1: when you're kids you see that little sprout, that thing

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Speaker 1: that you've invested in them. Now response they reciprocate and

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Speaker 1: man changes everything, and so you want to take that

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Speaker 1: time to do that. And then I would also say

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Speaker 1: as far as your relationship with your wife, I know

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Speaker 1: a lot of people who have struggled with infertility and

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Speaker 1: been in that journey. Close close friends of mine who

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Speaker 1: I'm thankful have been able to have children. And but

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of pain. There's a lot of hurt

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Speaker 1: that kind of just comes out of us sometimes, and

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Speaker 1: a husband and wife, especially if you're a younger family,

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Speaker 1: you don't always know how to navigate that pain initially,

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Speaker 1: and that's difficult. I think you have to have a

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Speaker 1: lot of grace for each other and then understanding that ay,

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Speaker 1: you're hurting, and you're hurting in a different way than

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Speaker 1: I am, even though we're both despairing over these challenges,

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Speaker 1: or maybe we're angry and we're taking that out on

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Speaker 1: each other, taking it out on God or the world,

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Speaker 1: or whatever the case may be. I have to understand

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Speaker 1: that what you're going through as a mom is different

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Speaker 1: than what I'm going through as a father, all right,

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Speaker 1: So we don't want to outdo one another. We want

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Speaker 1: to make sure that we come to this place of completion.

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about it, because if I can understand your

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Speaker 1: perspective and you can understand my perspective, then we can

427
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 1: start that journey of healing between each other. You got

428
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 1: to have grace for one another, You got to have love.

429
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,720
Speaker 1: In fact, I would say that the way to really

430
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: be able to heal that is to be extravagant in

431
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 1: your affection towards one another. We don't call it faking it.

432
00:22:56,359 --> 00:23:00,040
Speaker 1: We call it faithing it. And so could do it

433
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:04,639
Speaker 1: until it becomes real in that context, and I'm not

434
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 1: saying that your love for each other isn't real. But

435
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,159
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is sometimes you've got to motivate yourself

436
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 1: to do more, to invest more in that relationship. And

437
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 1: then over time, because here's something that we need to

438
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:21,119
Speaker 1: realize too. It's not simply that over the course of

439
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 1: our lives and over our how long have you been

440
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 1: married now, eleven years. Okay, so Celeste and I will

441
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 1: be eighteen years this fall. Over that course of the

442
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 1: eighteen years, our love for each other hasn't just grown,

443
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 1: it's grown up. It's matured over the course of time.

444
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 1: Now we can say things a lot more bluntly to

445
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 1: each other not be hurt by each other because we've

446
00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:45,000
Speaker 1: grown up, we've matured. But when we're young, we don't

447
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,160
Speaker 1: have that maturity yet. So everything I say that might

448
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 1: just be me trying to be real or authentic, might

449
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 1: hurt the other person because they're still growing up in

450
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 1: that maturity and that love. And so understand that give

451
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 1: it time, give it grace, be extravagant in your affection

452
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:05,479
Speaker 1: towards one another, loving each other, spending time together. And

453
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 1: I believe that over the course of time, and especially

454
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 1: when that child also comes into the world. Man, there's

455
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 1: some things that are gonna heal there. Love it man.

456
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: I love garden analogies, yes, life, And I think that

457
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 1: God has created the human life where it has these

458
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 1: perfect seasons. For instance, the nine month pregnancy gets you

459
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,560
Speaker 1: perfectly seasoned ready for an infant. But then when you're

460
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 1: in the infant stage, you have another challenge and another

461
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:36,919
Speaker 1: season which lasts six or seven months, which gets them

462
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 1: to the first they're sitting up and they're eating solid food. Okay,

463
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,639
Speaker 1: now you can deal with this, and you deal with

464
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 1: that just long enough before they start walking about a year.

465
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,640
Speaker 1: And then when they're walking and you've finally got a chance,

466
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,879
Speaker 1: the child proved the house over the previous months, and

467
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 1: then you have a chance before they go into pre

468
00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 1: k and so it's just it's perfectly lined up. So

469
00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:01,080
Speaker 1: if you're worried about being a dad, just remember that

470
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 1: doesn't happen overnight. You don't just wake up and you

471
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,119
Speaker 1: got a thirteen year old. You know, you have a

472
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 1: perfect grace period and learning because you're going to learn

473
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: with them. The goal is just to be a little

474
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,760
Speaker 1: bit ahead of them, right, that's right now. One thing

475
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 1: I want to talk about, kurt Is is your relationship.

476
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,920
Speaker 1: You said it through the infertility, it took a huge toll,

477
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:25,160
Speaker 1: you said, huge toll on a relationship, and we're actively

478
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 1: repairing this. So I want you to and it's good

479
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:31,920
Speaker 1: you said you're leaning heavily on faith in each other.

480
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 1: But I want to also encourage you to think about this,

481
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:40,199
Speaker 1: think about that because of the infertility. A baby is

482
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 1: such a blessing. It's such an incredible thing anyway, but

483
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,200
Speaker 1: then coming out of four years of infertility, it's even

484
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:52,040
Speaker 1: more of a prize for you too. So I want you,

485
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:54,960
Speaker 1: I want to encourage you to not make that this

486
00:25:55,160 --> 00:26:01,680
Speaker 1: child your goal or your biggest prize. Make her that, yes,

487
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:03,919
Speaker 1: and tell her that and that while she's pregnant, this

488
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,480
Speaker 1: is a good time to tell her. Just say, babe,

489
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,280
Speaker 1: I'm so happy and we're so grateful, and we praise

490
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:12,000
Speaker 1: God for this child. But I want to let you

491
00:26:12,040 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 1: know that even if we didn't have this child, I'm

492
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:19,199
Speaker 1: happy with you. I love you, and you are what

493
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 1: I need on this earth right now. And just just

494
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 1: start planning those seats to her and honoring her and

495
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 1: giving her so much of this grace and glory that

496
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: because you don't want to. You don't want the baby

497
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: to become the thing, because then that that relationship problem

498
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,280
Speaker 1: could get bigger and bigger as you start dealing with

499
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 1: adolescence with this kid. Man. That is so good and

500
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 1: so right on, because you, as a husband and wife,

501
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 1: you're the family. You didn't start your family when you

502
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 1: started having kids. Y'all are the family and I wonder

503
00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 1: grangeer too, and maybe what she is dealing with on

504
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: her side of the pain. Maybe there's questions sometimes with infertility,

505
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,719
Speaker 1: whether it's on the on the guy's or the guy's

506
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: fault or not fault, but side of the argument that

507
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 1: they think it's their fault, and so there's the pain

508
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,879
Speaker 1: that's associated with that. It's like, why can't we just

509
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 1: have children like every everyone else? And so I imagine

510
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:18,159
Speaker 1: out of that that hurt too, And then you're lumping

511
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,480
Speaker 1: on you know, whether it's accusations or just hurt for

512
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,879
Speaker 1: words or maybe not. Maybe they're just flippant words and

513
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 1: you didn't realize they heard, and now you're having to rebuild, Like, like,

514
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 1: my heart goes out to that because I can't imagine that.

515
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,520
Speaker 1: But but man, to what you're saying when you're now

516
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 1: lavishing on though, it's like, hey, look, our family isn't

517
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,920
Speaker 1: about this child, because reality is one day they're gonna

518
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 1: grow up, they're gonna move out there, and then it's

519
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 1: us again. It is, so it's got to be about us,

520
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:46,440
Speaker 1: you know, it's got to be about you know, our

521
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: foundation isn't God, but God's blessing this and so man,

522
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: you talk about that gual being head over heels over

523
00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 1: you to let her know how she's first placed there

524
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,760
Speaker 1: in your life, and that's that's amazing. Yell. Let's take

525
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:08,399
Speaker 1: a break. We'll be right back, all right. Thanks for

526
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,560
Speaker 1: watching the Granger Smith podcast. Guys. If you want to

527
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 1: find me on tour, it's super easy. Go to Grangersmith

528
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 1: dot com. Right there on the homepage, scroll down just

529
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,160
Speaker 1: a touch and there's all the tour dates. Now you're

530
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 1: going to look at those tour dates. You could do

531
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: two things right there off the homepage buy tickets tab

532
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 1: or VIP tab. The vip allows you to actually meet me.

533
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:30,719
Speaker 1: It gives you VIP tickets and a meet and greet

534
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,600
Speaker 1: where you can come before the show. We could hang out,

535
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 1: take pictures, sign anything that you want, and you could

536
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: also find that on the homepage under meat Granger. So

537
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 1: you can do it through the tour site, the tour page,

538
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,440
Speaker 1: or on the Meet Granger tab. We make it super easy.

539
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 1: If you can't go to any of these tour dates.

540
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 1: Another thing you could do is you could find me

541
00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 1: on cameo dot com. You can go to the website

542
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 1: or right off the app, the Cameo app. That's c

543
00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 1: am EO look up Granger Smith. In that way, I

544
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 1: could easily get you a video message to whoever you want.

545
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 1: For whatever you want, could be birthday, congratulations on a

546
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,720
Speaker 1: wedding or a graduation, a pick me up, or a

547
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 1: shout out of any kind. I will send you a

548
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: video recording of me giving you a personalized message to

549
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 1: however you want, for whoever you want. I also want

550
00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: to thank you guys for supporting Yegi Apparel Fall launch,

551
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: which we launched last Friday, just a few days ago.

552
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 1: I'm hoping by the time that you see this, by

553
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:34,400
Speaker 1: the time you listen to this podcast, there's still some

554
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 1: items that you want. This is most proud I've ever

555
00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 1: been about an apparel launch from yee I'll say it

556
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:45,160
Speaker 1: that way. We have jackets and coats and flannels, beanies

557
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 1: for the first time ever to get you ready for

558
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: wherever you are in the world for your winter apparel.

559
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 1: Thank you for trusting us with this brand, Thank you

560
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: for trusting yege Apparel, and thank you for trusting us

561
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: with country music. And of course thanks for listening to

562
00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 1: the podcast. So, Daniel, what is your title at Celebration

563
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 1: in Georgetown. Celebration Church Georgetown, Texas. You were a pastor there, Yeah,

564
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 1: I'm an executive pastor. We have a team called the

565
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: Directional Leadership Team. We're responsible for making decisions about the

566
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 1: direction of the church where we're going next. And so

567
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 1: my area really where I I don't want to say oversee,

568
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 1: but it's kind of my stewardship. Let's put it in

569
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:32,200
Speaker 1: that way. Is our language, is our looks, It's what

570
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: you experience in and from the church. And we're venturing

571
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:40,479
Speaker 1: now into some new arenas where we're in developing a

572
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 1: podcast you know, which will be you know, dealing with

573
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 1: theological questions things in relation to the church. Have guessed

574
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,320
Speaker 1: things of that nature as well. But we're also creating

575
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 1: more music and things to kind of get outside of

576
00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: the four walls to be able to minister in a

577
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: timeless way, which I think you do so great in

578
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 1: your music in this like, people are going to be

579
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 1: listening to these things for years down the line, yeah,

580
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 1: and they'll have that impact. And so we're really for

581
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: us as a church. Even though we are a church

582
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:17,200
Speaker 1: of notable size in this area of central Texas, we

583
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 1: still have yet to really venture out into that area.

584
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 1: And I believe that it's it's our time to do that.

585
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 1: So I've been stewarded with that responsibility as well as Yeah,

586
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 1: just you know the message what we say, you know,

587
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:31,080
Speaker 1: we want to make sure it's right. We want to

588
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 1: make sure it's theologically sound, and that it is bringing

589
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 1: challenges where there need to be challenges, and it's bringing

590
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 1: encouragement where they d s be encouragement. I've seen you

591
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: with a headset on work in production any given sunday.

592
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 1: I've seen you with a headset on during production. I've

593
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: seen you playing keyboard. I've seen you playing guitar leading worship,

594
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,040
Speaker 1: or I've seen you preaching, yeah, or I've seen you

595
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 1: on the front road just worshiping, whatever it takes. Whatever.

596
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: You're like the man that if anybody needs anything, you

597
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,239
Speaker 1: come and then you could handle everything. Well, I'll tell

598
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 1: you what it's been when you've grown up in ministry.

599
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 1: My dad was a pastor. Like like I said earlier,

600
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 1: he had a church. You learned how to do everything, man,

601
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,760
Speaker 1: So you just kind of jump in where you need to.

602
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 1: Some particularly and then some things I do just because

603
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,120
Speaker 1: I love to do. I love to play, I love

604
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,120
Speaker 1: the lead worship. I love to do that kind of stuff.

605
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,960
Speaker 1: And so when you know it's asked upon me, hey

606
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,760
Speaker 1: can you do this, I'm like, Hey, I'm all in, yeah,

607
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,120
Speaker 1: go and so yeah, we have a blast. On a

608
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 1: side note, for those of you that have seen the

609
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:32,240
Speaker 1: sermon that I posted on this channel, Faster, Daniel wrote

610
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,800
Speaker 1: that with me, So we wrote that together. I would

611
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,880
Speaker 1: say that I pulled it out of you. I wouldn't

612
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 1: say that we wrote it together. That's your message, man,

613
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:42,600
Speaker 1: But I tell you what, it was awesome to be

614
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 1: able to do that and to see you preach it

615
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 1: and to just see now the response that's happened. You're

616
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 1: getting more opportunities to share that message. People need to

617
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 1: hear that message of hope, love it. Man. Well, it's

618
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:54,959
Speaker 1: an honor to have you on this podcast. And now

619
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 1: I'm going to have you pick another one. Okay, So

620
00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: do you remember any of those ones? I said, Oh, yeah,

621
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 1: there was one church. What do we do to the church? Church?

622
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: It just says church, that's all it says, Dear Granger.

623
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,959
Speaker 1: I need help. I want to attend the church I

624
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 1: attended as a child. The problem is that church is

625
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:13,320
Speaker 1: about one hundred miles from where we live. I want

626
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 1: to attend in person because I do want to be

627
00:33:15,600 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 1: able to take communion. It's very important to me to

628
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:22,200
Speaker 1: do that. I feel that baptism, confirmation, and sacraments and

629
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 1: standing in church saying your wedding vows are all very important.

630
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,440
Speaker 1: I'm ready to commit to going there once a month

631
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 1: because of the distance and the fact that I live

632
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:34,040
Speaker 1: on a limited income. The church is very important to me.

633
00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: I attended the first twelve years of my life, and

634
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:39,840
Speaker 1: I didn't set foot in that church until I was

635
00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 1: an adult, and I cried the whole service. When I did,

636
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,040
Speaker 1: I felt like I finally was home again. Help me, please,

637
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 1: I hope to hear from you. You always give out

638
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: great advice, and may God bless you and your family.

639
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 1: This has come from Linda, and I don't see where

640
00:33:54,240 --> 00:34:01,400
Speaker 1: she's from. Linda, thank you, thank you for emailing. I

641
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: kind of have some mixed thoughts on this one. I

642
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: do too. I almost have like a couple of options. Yeah,

643
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 1: please share it. Yeah, it almost kind of depends, like

644
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 1: maybe she's in a small town and there's nothing there.

645
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 1: But I always want to encourage people to be local

646
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,439
Speaker 1: and to be able to You can't really have one

647
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,960
Speaker 1: foot in one door and one foot out and really

648
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:32,759
Speaker 1: get involved that way. And it's it's almost like you

649
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: are going to the childhood church for a some kind

650
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 1: of nostalgic reason that it's it's you're reliving the first

651
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 1: twelve years. I mean, that's a great time, the first

652
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 1: twelve years of your life that I want to encourage

653
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:51,400
Speaker 1: you to to really discern whether that's a nostalgia that's

654
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,880
Speaker 1: drawing you back to your childhood or if it's really

655
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 1: the word of God that you're hearing better than you've

656
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: ever heard anywhere else. It's going to be tough to

657
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 1: discern those things. It is. What do you think about this?

658
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: What if someone told you this, Let me put it

659
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,919
Speaker 1: this way. What if someone in Georgetown moved one hundred

660
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:15,359
Speaker 1: miles away and they said, I really love celebration and

661
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:17,879
Speaker 1: I'm struggling with not being able to come back. In fact,

662
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 1: I want to come once a month. Well, I think

663
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 1: there are a couple of things. I think you nailed

664
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 1: it in that you've got to discern to care, where

665
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,160
Speaker 1: does God want you? Where has God place you? The

666
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 1: reality is that does happen sometimes, and sometimes it's out

667
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 1: of people's control, at least in that particular moment in

668
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,160
Speaker 1: their life. Maybe it's a job thing or whatever the

669
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 1: case may be, and they can't be there regularly, but

670
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 1: their heart is there and they want to be there. Well, hey,

671
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:42,800
Speaker 1: look as far as I'm concerned, and that's your church,

672
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:46,760
Speaker 1: and you make it work as often as you can.

673
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 1: Would I prefer for you to have a local impact. Absolutely.

674
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: If you're in a situation where it's like, well, I

675
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 1: work here, my church is one hundred miles away, which

676
00:35:56,280 --> 00:36:00,279
Speaker 1: I don't know if this is your particular situation, but

677
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 1: but my heart is really there, then I would started

678
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 1: looking for some jobs there and I would say, hey,

679
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:06,880
Speaker 1: if this is really where God's called me to be,

680
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 1: then let me move and get closer to the church.

681
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 1: Here's the deal. We have had moved. We hear all

682
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 1: the time people saying I stumbled upon your church online.

683
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: I felt so connected. We moved our whole family here

684
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 1: to the Austin area so we could attend Celebration church

685
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 1: because they felt like there was a calling that God

686
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,080
Speaker 1: was giving them through the church to come and be

687
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 1: a part of it. So that happens. That's a great point. So, Linda,

688
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:34,040
Speaker 1: there's obviously a reason you're not doing that. Surely you've

689
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 1: wrestled with this, and surely there's a reason. But if

690
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,359
Speaker 1: there's not a good enough reason there it is you know,

691
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 1: like that seems like that solves a lot of problems.

692
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:47,880
Speaker 1: But driving once a month, I don't know if that

693
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 1: does it for me. I'm not sure if investing in

694
00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:57,280
Speaker 1: the local church around you, the one that's within twenty miles,

695
00:36:58,239 --> 00:37:02,839
Speaker 1: is not better and that and you could maybe you

696
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,640
Speaker 1: encourage that church. Maybe you become a light in that

697
00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:09,239
Speaker 1: local church that reflects what you miss from the one

698
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,719
Speaker 1: hundred miles church. And maybe they need you there. Maybe

699
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:16,560
Speaker 1: they need someone like Linda in their local church to

700
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 1: help bring some of those ideas and some of the

701
00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 1: feelings that you felt, bring that in to their church.

702
00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 1: Maybe they need you there. So I also want you

703
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,239
Speaker 1: to consider that maybe this is part of this stirring

704
00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:31,719
Speaker 1: in you, is that this is God saying, Hey, we

705
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 1: want to revive this town where you are right now.

706
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 1: I want to bring a revival to where you are.

707
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 1: And I've given you the knowledge of this church that

708
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: you love, and I want you to take that knowledge

709
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:47,360
Speaker 1: and spread it here locally. And you saying that also

710
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 1: has made me kind of trigger the thought in my

711
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 1: mind is you need community. And so you know we're

712
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,560
Speaker 1: talking in the context of service. Sometimes we only talking

713
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 1: in relationship to a service like nine thirty or whatever

714
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,719
Speaker 1: your service time is, or your particular church. But the

715
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 1: church is so much more than a service. It's a

716
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,760
Speaker 1: community exactly, It's a body. And so when you're dealing

717
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 1: with challenges. When I think about what we deal we've

718
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:14,239
Speaker 1: had a massive ice storm earlier this year, Thank God

719
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: for the community that we had of people to be

720
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:17,920
Speaker 1: able to help each other and do well. If you're

721
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 1: not plugged in, you don't have those relationships that maybe

722
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,640
Speaker 1: you need to navigate a difficult time. And it's hard

723
00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 1: to do that just being completely sincere. It's hard to

724
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:31,759
Speaker 1: do that one hundred miles away. So that's an important part. Yeah,

725
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 1: small groups, yep, yep. The breakfast is that they're going

726
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 1: to host the Easter services. It's gonna be hard. You're

727
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,880
Speaker 1: gonna have family over for Christmas and you're gonna want

728
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: to go to church, and it's one hundred miles and

729
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 1: that that mileage might discourage you from going at all.

730
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:48,800
Speaker 1: You might just say I'm just not gonna I'm just

731
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:52,040
Speaker 1: not gonna go at all. So I think I think

732
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: we're kind of leaning. Yeah, yeah, we want to be

733
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,319
Speaker 1: we want to be local, we want to have we

734
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 1: want to have an impact where we are. I get it.

735
00:39:00,239 --> 00:39:03,480
Speaker 1: You know, we're not here to tell you this is right,

736
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:09,880
Speaker 1: this is wrong. But we've seen the benefit. We've witnessed

737
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 1: the benefit of our lives of being local and allowing

738
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 1: the local church to minister to us and for us

739
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,359
Speaker 1: to minister to it and the people that are there.

740
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 1: It's just such a blessing. Yeah. Remember when you're tithing

741
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: to your church as well, that's going a lot of

742
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:26,719
Speaker 1: times to the local community, and you're not going to

743
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 1: see that. You're not gonna see the fruits of that

744
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 1: tithing as much if it's if it's farther away. So

745
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 1: I think the bottom line is quit your job and

746
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,160
Speaker 1: go get tone, go down. I want to move. I'm

747
00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 1: just kidding, Linda, You've got some stuff to wrestle with.

748
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:43,959
Speaker 1: But that's some great advice from Daniel here. All right,

749
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 1: you want to go to this quitting corporate job. It

750
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,040
Speaker 1: sounds like it's sure. We've been preaching the gospel for

751
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 1: a little bit here and we'll go to something. It says, hey,

752
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,760
Speaker 1: g and your my name is Jack. I'm from Western

753
00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 1: New York, small town, a small town outside of Rochester.

754
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: I'm twenty five years old. I love music, and since

755
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: the twenty twenty pandemic, I started learning how to play

756
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 1: the guitar. I've been playing for over a year now,

757
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 1: and I've written a few songs on my own. And

758
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 1: my dad really wants me to stay in sales and

759
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 1: climb the corporate ladder. But my gut is telling me

760
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 1: that I'm meant for something more in this life, and

761
00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,960
Speaker 1: that music is a part of that. I would love

762
00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 1: to hear about your journey and any advice you would

763
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 1: like to give a guy like me. Starting out, thank

764
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 1: you for reading my email, best wishes to your family, Jack,

765
00:40:30,520 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 1: and then he has Proverbs twenty seven to quoted here,

766
00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 1: let another praise you, and not your own mouth, a

767
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:39,560
Speaker 1: stranger and not your own lips. What's up, Jack, and

768
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 1: shout out to New York. Yeah, Rochester, twenty five years old,

769
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 1: We have another new beyond guitar. This is a little

770
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:54,920
Speaker 1: bit similar to that last question for me, Yeah, a

771
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,319
Speaker 1: little bit similar. I'm interested to see where you're gonna

772
00:40:57,320 --> 00:41:00,799
Speaker 1: go with Yeah. Well, the first, first of all, Jack,

773
00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:05,040
Speaker 1: we honor our mother and father, dad wants you to

774
00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:08,359
Speaker 1: stay in sales, and and and I think your dad

775
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:12,720
Speaker 1: has a really good instinct for that, And so I wouldn't.

776
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,120
Speaker 1: The last thing I'll do is just throw out that

777
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 1: throw out that dad doesn't know what he's talking about.

778
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 1: I would, I would honor honor your father in that

779
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 1: in that decision. Not that you have to do that,

780
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: but I want you to just really simmer on that

781
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:32,920
Speaker 1: a little bit. The music business is tough' it's rough,

782
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: and and what you what you kind of have to

783
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 1: realize is why are you pursuing music? Is it to

784
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:45,240
Speaker 1: pay the bills? Or is it because it's it's making

785
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,760
Speaker 1: you happy, it's making it's giving you a creative outlet.

786
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 1: Because if that's the case, you could do that and

787
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:55,319
Speaker 1: do any other job at the same time. So I

788
00:41:55,360 --> 00:42:01,440
Speaker 1: would never discourage anyone from following a passion. But you

789
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 1: are new at this and your gut is that scares me.

790
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 1: Anytime someone says, my gut's telling me to do this,

791
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 1: you need some more evidence. Yeah, that's right. It's not

792
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 1: the best. Your gut's not the best decision maker of

793
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 1: the dut So pump the brakes when you if you're

794
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 1: going to pursue music as a full time career. You're

795
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 1: gonna know more than your gut. You're gonna know that

796
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: this is leading you this direction. You have a little

797
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 1: local venue where you live, and it's sold out every

798
00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 1: time you play it, and people love it and they

799
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: want to hear more music. And you you're not just

800
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:44,760
Speaker 1: writing a few songs. You're writing albums and you're putting

801
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,400
Speaker 1: them out. And the little place that you're playing at,

802
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 1: the Lions Club or whatever you're playing, they can't fit

803
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:54,280
Speaker 1: anybody else in there. And then you're gonna go, maybe

804
00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:57,360
Speaker 1: there's something to this, like maybe this is bigger than Rochester,

805
00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:00,719
Speaker 1: New York. Maybe this is maybe I should venture out.

806
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 1: And then you put a band together, and so then

807
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 1: you go over to Albany and Syracuse and you play

808
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,239
Speaker 1: a few shows there, and then you go over to

809
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 1: Buffalo and you get some pretty good feedback. So you're

810
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 1: still not quitting your job. You're still in the sales

811
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 1: job that your dad wants you to be in. Until

812
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:22,320
Speaker 1: you go, man, we're doing so well in this upstate

813
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 1: New York circuit that the only way I could continue

814
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 1: this is by quitting my job. But that's not a

815
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 1: gut no. That's some hard evidence. And the bottom line is,

816
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:37,880
Speaker 1: but you could love music and you don't have to

817
00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:41,759
Speaker 1: make a living with it. And sometimes I use this

818
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 1: analogy with with young artists that are like, man, I

819
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: want to do this. I want to do this, and

820
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, do you like you like cake? Like vanilla cake?

821
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 1: And I love cake. I'm like, okay, well, let me

822
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:55,680
Speaker 1: put if music was cake, this is what it'd be like.

823
00:43:55,719 --> 00:43:58,520
Speaker 1: It'd be like, here's some cake. Is this good? This

824
00:43:58,640 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 1: is like wedding cake? Oh it? Take another bite? Yeah?

825
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 1: You sure you like it? I really like it. Here,

826
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 1: take the slice? You still like it? I love the slice. Okay,

827
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,719
Speaker 1: Now I eat the whole cake. And you can never

828
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 1: eat anything else but this cake. You're not going to

829
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:17,839
Speaker 1: have steak or potatoes, but this cake. You still love

830
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,320
Speaker 1: it because that's what it's like. That's what it's like

831
00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 1: to go head first and to quit your corporate job

832
00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:25,359
Speaker 1: and you do anything you're doing. All you're doing is music.

833
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,200
Speaker 1: That's what it's like. You only get one flavor, and

834
00:44:28,280 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 1: so you got to realize, hey, maybe I just like

835
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:33,880
Speaker 1: to eat steak, potatoes and have that body cake because

836
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:37,760
Speaker 1: you can still do that. Thank you Jack. I appreciate

837
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 1: your brother and I hope to see you really soon.

838
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:41,400
Speaker 1: We're going to be in New York next week, so

839
00:44:41,440 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 1: maybe maybe we'll see you around. So, Daniel, question for

840
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,720
Speaker 1: the podcast. I just got married and I need help.

841
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:55,000
Speaker 1: My girlfriend broke up with me. Feeling lost in a

842
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:58,840
Speaker 1: fog and grief. Any of those. We've got time for

843
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 1: a couple more at least, Well, let's do the My

844
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:07,279
Speaker 1: girlfriend broke up with Okay, okay, Hey Grangeer, I'm twenty

845
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,960
Speaker 1: two years old. I'm from Alabama. Shout out to Alabama

846
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:16,759
Speaker 1: and pastor Christian. Yeah rolling no tithes over where he is? Yeah,

847
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm not sure if what's he's saying, if

848
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,759
Speaker 1: he's eagle or tied here. But I'm twenty two years

849
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 1: old from Alabama. I've recently started listening to your podcast,

850
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,240
Speaker 1: and I've been a long time listening to her music.

851
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you use God to help your

852
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:32,640
Speaker 1: fans and your followers. I was a year and a

853
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:35,719
Speaker 1: half into relationship with a girl. I wanted to marry her,

854
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 1: and she broke up with me. I thought things were

855
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,479
Speaker 1: going great. I was good to her and treated her well.

856
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 1: I thought that she would never leave now one or back.

857
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:49,279
Speaker 1: I have done a lot of things to change myself.

858
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:52,960
Speaker 1: She is extremely ambitious and working four jobs this summer

859
00:45:52,960 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: and applied to graduate school. I love and care about

860
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:59,600
Speaker 1: her so much. She has been she has been so

861
00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:02,080
Speaker 1: good to me. But now I'm very hurt because she

862
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:04,520
Speaker 1: dated a guy before me, and I think she wants

863
00:46:04,600 --> 00:46:07,080
Speaker 1: him back. When she when she broke up with me,

864
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:09,439
Speaker 1: she said she just needed time and space. I miss

865
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,360
Speaker 1: her so much. I pray for her safety and healing

866
00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:14,919
Speaker 1: every day. I'm also in my Bible every day trying

867
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:18,839
Speaker 1: to prove myself. How do I get her back? How

868
00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 1: do I show her I'm a better man so that

869
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 1: she will give me a second chance? Thank you, Slate. Wow, Slate, Well,

870
00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: let me just let me tell you that a woman

871
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 1: that is working that hard probably doesn't even have time

872
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 1: to be dating and be in a relationship to start.

873
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:43,719
Speaker 1: She sounds very ambitious, like she's going after it. Here's

874
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 1: the thing, Here's the thing. I want you understand, Slate,

875
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 1: because I think it's so important for us to realize

876
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 1: that the only person we want to make the center

877
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:54,959
Speaker 1: of our world is Jesus. We want to make sure

878
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 1: that some especially, they're not our wives, they're not our like.

879
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:03,320
Speaker 1: We can't make them the center of our world because

880
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:05,680
Speaker 1: there are greater things in store for you. I know

881
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:07,680
Speaker 1: it's difficult, and I know when you've invested time in

882
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: a relationship, especially at your age, we go all in. Man,

883
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,480
Speaker 1: our emotions are in, like we're all in, and then

884
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,200
Speaker 1: it doesn't pan out the way that we want, and

885
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 1: there's no other alternative but to want to get the

886
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 1: person back. I think those things are natural. All right,

887
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 1: that's the heart's response. But the reality is is we

888
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 1: don't make decisions with our heart. We make decisions with

889
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:36,399
Speaker 1: our head. Our heart and its emotions inform probably our

890
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:40,400
Speaker 1: states like there's something up, there's something going on. That's cool.

891
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 1: But the reality is is you only make reactions with

892
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 1: your heart. You make decisions with your head. So you

893
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:51,359
Speaker 1: have to be willing to say I'm going to make

894
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:55,040
Speaker 1: a decision with my head that my heart does not

895
00:47:55,200 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 1: necessarily agree with, and be willing to understand that you,

896
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:04,239
Speaker 1: with God in your life, are already complete. You don't

897
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 1: need anybody else. You're already complete, and he's working on you.

898
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 1: He's making you better. Okay, you're not becoming better to

899
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 1: get some girl back. That isn't the goal there. You're

900
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:19,240
Speaker 1: becoming better because you are being conformed into the image

901
00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:22,840
Speaker 1: of Christ. You are becoming more like God. You're becoming

902
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:26,480
Speaker 1: a better person because the world needs the best slate

903
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:30,399
Speaker 1: that you have to offer. So there are great things

904
00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:32,399
Speaker 1: in store for your life. There's greater things in store

905
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:36,799
Speaker 1: for your life than just one particular relationship. Okay, I

906
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:38,879
Speaker 1: believe that the more that you're trying to pursue God,

907
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:41,760
Speaker 1: there's going to be someone who's gonna come in your path.

908
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:46,319
Speaker 1: That men, that chemistry is going to be You're gonna know,

909
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:48,880
Speaker 1: you're gonna have that feeling of like, all right, I

910
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 1: get it, this is what I've been waiting for. But

911
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:56,560
Speaker 1: you don't want to hit pause on your life because

912
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,840
Speaker 1: there's a part of you that's grieving a relationship that

913
00:48:58,960 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 1: is ended. You know, you want to make sure that

914
00:49:02,160 --> 00:49:05,360
Speaker 1: you're still pursuing God, You're still learning, you're still equipping yourself,

915
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:08,439
Speaker 1: you're still working hard build something. Here's the thing too,

916
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 1: Jesus never called a disciple who wasn't working. They were

917
00:49:14,239 --> 00:49:18,279
Speaker 1: all in and doing something, all right, and and he

918
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:20,520
Speaker 1: calls him into great things. He wasn't looking for the

919
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:22,720
Speaker 1: guy that was, you know, still living in his mom's

920
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 1: basement and she done got a job, didn't got it.

921
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:27,919
Speaker 1: He was looking He wasn't looking for the most educated guys,

922
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:31,279
Speaker 1: but he was looking for some hardworking people. So what

923
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:34,919
Speaker 1: do I mean by that? Is that hard work, perseverance,

924
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 1: building on yourself, learning, developing, utilizing wisdom that gets you

925
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:44,799
Speaker 1: noticed by more than just Jesus. Right. Yeah, but but

926
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 1: but I think that as long as you're engaging that,

927
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 1: as long as you make sure you're prioritizing the right

928
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:56,359
Speaker 1: relationship in your life, then that person that is going

929
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:59,920
Speaker 1: to be your spouse that you're going to start that

930
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 1: family with it was going to see that, They're going

931
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:06,080
Speaker 1: to notice that, they're going to perk up, and then man,

932
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:09,440
Speaker 1: you start that relationship is going to be awesome. This

933
00:50:09,600 --> 00:50:11,960
Speaker 1: is probably one of the most that was amazing, Daniel,

934
00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:15,160
Speaker 1: That was amazing. I can't beat anything that you just said.

935
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,440
Speaker 1: This is one of the most common kinds of questions

936
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 1: that I get to this podcast. My girlfriend broke up

937
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 1: with me or my boyfriend broke up with me, and

938
00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:27,399
Speaker 1: how do I get her back? Because I want her back?

939
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:32,359
Speaker 1: And she told you she needed time and space give

940
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:35,160
Speaker 1: her time and space. Yep, you say you're reading your

941
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,759
Speaker 1: Bible every day. I believe that if you continue that,

942
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: you're going to see the truth that Daniel just spoke of.

943
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 1: You're going to see words like being content, being content

944
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:48,759
Speaker 1: with where you are and who you are today, and

945
00:50:49,360 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 1: you became I say this with all all kindness. I

946
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,160
Speaker 1: started to sound like a broken record here. I want

947
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:01,840
Speaker 1: her back, I need her? What do I do? Help me?

948
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 1: I want her back? And that just screams to me

949
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 1: that you you have to work on yourself. Yeah, she's

950
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:14,759
Speaker 1: not There's something, there's something missing it. Once again, I

951
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 1: say that in the nicest way because I've been there.

952
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:20,600
Speaker 1: I know Daniel's been there. We've all been there. And

953
00:51:20,640 --> 00:51:23,280
Speaker 1: when you're twenty two, it might seem like the walls

954
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:26,560
Speaker 1: are just caving in, but time is going to heal you.

955
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:31,200
Speaker 1: Time going by. Every day that goes by, you're gonna

956
00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:34,520
Speaker 1: feel a little bit more content without her, and you're

957
00:51:34,520 --> 00:51:36,520
Speaker 1: gonna feel little bit more content with who you are

958
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:41,239
Speaker 1: because she was, she was becoming and maybe already was

959
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 1: your identity. That's a dangerous thing, slate for her to

960
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:48,439
Speaker 1: become your identity, because what if she did come back

961
00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:51,600
Speaker 1: and what if you continue to worship her and glorify her,

962
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:53,560
Speaker 1: and what if what if you lost her to a

963
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:57,359
Speaker 1: car accident? Then you're you're on suicide watch at that point,

964
00:51:57,440 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 1: because she is your identity and you have to you

965
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:05,680
Speaker 1: have to be able to honor her with the space

966
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:09,160
Speaker 1: that she needed. And there's no tricks that I could

967
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:10,840
Speaker 1: tell you, or that Daniel could tell you. There's no

968
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:15,240
Speaker 1: books to read on how to win her back. She's

969
00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:19,880
Speaker 1: got everything Daniel said. If you rewind that, you becoming

970
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,600
Speaker 1: the man that the world needs you to be will

971
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:28,440
Speaker 1: attract maybe not even her. I'm kind of secretly hoping

972
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:32,799
Speaker 1: not here, it's going to attract someone even better. And

973
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:35,080
Speaker 1: you might hear that, go, no one's better than her.

974
00:52:36,040 --> 00:52:38,920
Speaker 1: But I promise you, man, at twenty two, I promise you,

975
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 1: there is. And you got a lot of time, and

976
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:44,000
Speaker 1: you got a lot of life and a lot of

977
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,920
Speaker 1: things to figure out. And it's an exciting time to

978
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:51,920
Speaker 1: be twenty two. It's an exciting time. It's also but

979
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:56,040
Speaker 1: you know what, it's also hard to hear that you

980
00:52:56,160 --> 00:52:58,319
Speaker 1: probably have heard already. People tell you that, man, you're

981
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:01,279
Speaker 1: only twenty two. Da da da, I get it. It's

982
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:06,279
Speaker 1: hard to hear that, But if you're willing to understand

983
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:09,440
Speaker 1: that your twenties really truly are for learning. All right,

984
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:11,800
Speaker 1: I know you might start your career in your twenties.

985
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 1: I know you're doing college and all of that kind,

986
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 1: but really your twenties are for learning. You're you're going

987
00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 1: to now start really figuring yourself out in your thirties,

988
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 1: and then when you hit your forties, you're really going

989
00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:26,520
Speaker 1: to be kind of in the thing that you feel

990
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:29,280
Speaker 1: like you're called, like you're going to start navigating into

991
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 1: that space. Understand that this time, man, is for your

992
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 1: own development. Like, really, you know what you can learn,

993
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 1: you know, biblical principles, being the church, all of that,

994
00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:41,160
Speaker 1: as well as being educated, getting mentors in your life

995
00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 1: who can help fill some of that space that you

996
00:53:43,600 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 1: have there. Man, that's going to pay huge dividends for you.

997
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:49,440
Speaker 1: And I'll be honest, You're going to go down the

998
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:52,319
Speaker 1: line a couple of years of doing that, and let's

999
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,560
Speaker 1: say she does come back around, She's probably going to

1000
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:56,839
Speaker 1: be a lot less attractive to you at that point, Yeah,

1001
00:53:57,239 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 1: because of the person you've become while just pursuing your

1002
00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 1: own development, being a better person. Just like we said

1003
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 1: on that very first question. Flip the script because you're

1004
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:10,799
Speaker 1: saying I want her. I want her. Number two. I

1005
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 1: read the Bible. I'm trying to improve myself, but I

1006
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 1: really want her. Just flip that. Flip it. Make the

1007
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 1: Bible and your development towards that the number one thing,

1008
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 1: and make the relationship or the next relationship down the line,

1009
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 1: and watch how that's going to transform your life. I'm

1010
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:33,000
Speaker 1: excited for you, Slate, and thank you for emailing buddy. Yeah,

1011
00:54:33,239 --> 00:54:34,960
Speaker 1: let's let's knock out one more. We got time for

1012
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 1: one more. Let's do it. Which what do you think

1013
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:40,479
Speaker 1: is the best we got? We have the generic question

1014
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:42,960
Speaker 1: for your podcast, which is always you never know the

1015
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 1: grab bag we have. I just got married, feeling lost

1016
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 1: in a fog. We also have grief. Let's have grief.

1017
00:54:50,840 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 1: Why don't we deal with Why don't we You probably

1018
00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:56,239
Speaker 1: talk about grief a lot. Yeah, it does come up

1019
00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:59,720
Speaker 1: a lot, does come up a bit. But I'm dealing

1020
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: with the a little bit of grief today. You know,

1021
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:05,440
Speaker 1: we've just lost someone that is close to us, literally

1022
00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:07,400
Speaker 1: had a heart attack. Let's go there this morning. You

1023
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:10,400
Speaker 1: want to go to this fresh on my mind? Yeah, okay,

1024
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:12,719
Speaker 1: it says, Hey, grade your My name is Gloria from

1025
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:14,799
Speaker 1: Washington State. I'm a huge fan and I met you

1026
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:17,759
Speaker 1: to meet and greet in Seattle. Thank you, Gloria. My

1027
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:22,600
Speaker 1: question is this, my husband passed away in September twenty twenty,

1028
00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,480
Speaker 1: and then four months later January twenty twenty, when my

1029
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:28,560
Speaker 1: brother passed away. How do you deal with that much

1030
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:34,320
Speaker 1: grief in such a short period of time. Wow. Well,

1031
00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of things that play into

1032
00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:43,040
Speaker 1: dealing with grief because grief is so impactful in a

1033
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 1: multiple in multiple areas of our lives. I think some

1034
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:54,200
Speaker 1: of the things that I would say initially is one,

1035
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:57,160
Speaker 1: you have to allow yourself to grief, because grieving is

1036
00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:00,960
Speaker 1: a process that I have found is unique for each individual.

1037
00:56:02,080 --> 00:56:05,240
Speaker 1: I lost my father at twenty two years of age,

1038
00:56:06,960 --> 00:56:10,799
Speaker 1: and my grieving I didn't cry. I didn't for a

1039
00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:13,799
Speaker 1: whole year. I just, I don't want to say I

1040
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:15,719
Speaker 1: was numb. I wasn't numb to life. I wasn't numb

1041
00:56:15,719 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 1: to but I just felt like the way that I

1042
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:22,560
Speaker 1: saw people grieve their loved ones, I didn't experience that.

1043
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:25,799
Speaker 1: So I thought something was wrong with me. And then

1044
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:30,560
Speaker 1: one day after we had Serena she's a baby. I

1045
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 1: remember in our apartment she did something. I can't remember

1046
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,560
Speaker 1: what she did, but it was something that just tickled

1047
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:40,120
Speaker 1: me so much, and I went to grab the phone

1048
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 1: to call my dad to tell him, yeah, and I

1049
00:56:43,840 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 1: realized I can't do that anymore. And man, you talk

1050
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 1: about the floodgates. You know, this may have been a

1051
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 1: year and a half to two years later, and I

1052
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 1: just lost it and I grieve for about two weeks.

1053
00:56:57,560 --> 00:57:02,440
Speaker 1: But it was different for everybody. But I had to

1054
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:04,080
Speaker 1: be okay with that. I had to come to that

1055
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:07,640
Speaker 1: place of saying, hey, look, this is how I'm grieving now.

1056
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:10,880
Speaker 1: I don't know why. I don't have answers to those questions, yeah,

1057
00:57:10,920 --> 00:57:13,320
Speaker 1: but I just know that I need to allow myself

1058
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 1: to go through this process so that I can be

1059
00:57:16,240 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 1: in a place now to be able to heal. The

1060
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:21,280
Speaker 1: worst thing you can do, and I'm not accusing you

1061
00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 1: of doing this, I don't even think that you are

1062
00:57:23,520 --> 00:57:26,400
Speaker 1: doing this, but is to try to not go through

1063
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 1: that process of grief. You have to allow yourself to

1064
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:34,840
Speaker 1: grieve that in whatever way is you know is natural

1065
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 1: and it's comforting in that particular moment. You don't want

1066
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:40,080
Speaker 1: to run to bad things. You don't want to run

1067
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:43,320
Speaker 1: to things that are going to be destructive for your life.

1068
00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 1: But it's okay. It just makes sense for you to

1069
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:51,040
Speaker 1: be sad. It makes sense for you to be hurting. Now.

1070
00:57:51,160 --> 00:57:54,120
Speaker 1: I can already tell you that you're on the right

1071
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:58,200
Speaker 1: track because you've reached out to ask for help. All right.

1072
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:00,320
Speaker 1: When someone's in a bad place with grief, they don't

1073
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:05,000
Speaker 1: want anybody's help. So you're already going into that direction

1074
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 1: of that healing process in this regard. So I just

1075
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:10,760
Speaker 1: want to encourage you to keep going down that road.

1076
00:58:10,800 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 1: You know, obviously, you know you have answered grief questions

1077
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:19,080
Speaker 1: a lot. You've dealt with grief. You know, we were

1078
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:23,280
Speaker 1: talking about our dads, you know, dying and stuff in

1079
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 1: similar fashions. I mean, what would you say to that,

1080
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:28,960
Speaker 1: to how a person navigates that. Yeah, I think you

1081
00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 1: said it right. You gave a good example of how

1082
00:58:32,240 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 1: the seven steps of grief or whatever is not. There

1083
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:39,000
Speaker 1: is no order, there's no steps, and there is no

1084
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:43,680
Speaker 1: number two and number three. Everyone is different. And Daniel

1085
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:46,080
Speaker 1: just said he grieved a year and a half after

1086
00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:50,400
Speaker 1: his dad died, and some people go right into it

1087
00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:53,520
Speaker 1: the second it happens and they're just instantly grieving. So

1088
00:58:54,560 --> 00:58:58,120
Speaker 1: it was something something that I saw amberdo and she

1089
00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:02,680
Speaker 1: went right into grief share class with other people that

1090
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 1: really helped her. I wasn't interested in doing that, but

1091
00:59:06,240 --> 00:59:09,760
Speaker 1: I will. I will mention this because it helped her

1092
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:13,480
Speaker 1: tremendously to get with a group of other people and

1093
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:15,880
Speaker 1: what happens to glory you go do. There's going to

1094
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:18,439
Speaker 1: be a local I'm assuming you're close to Seattle. There's

1095
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 1: definitely a big grief Share grief Shared community in Seattle,

1096
00:59:22,280 --> 00:59:25,560
Speaker 1: and you could go and join Christian based grief Share

1097
00:59:26,080 --> 00:59:28,800
Speaker 1: and you're going to sit in a group, in a

1098
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:34,560
Speaker 1: loving environment with other women that are encouraging you that

1099
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:37,960
Speaker 1: some of them have lost husbands or brothers or kids

1100
00:59:38,200 --> 00:59:41,240
Speaker 1: or parents, and everyone will have a story and you'll

1101
00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 1: start seeing these overlapping stories with yours and you'll go,

1102
00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:48,840
Speaker 1: that's me. In fact, I didn't even realize that was me,

1103
00:59:48,960 --> 00:59:51,480
Speaker 1: but that's me. And then you hug and you cry,

1104
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 1: and then you exchange cell phone numbers and then you

1105
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 1: go to dinner. And it's when we can do it

1106
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:01,800
Speaker 1: as a community to get other It's just so it

1107
01:00:02,320 --> 01:00:04,960
Speaker 1: lifts you up, and that's why the pandemic was so

1108
01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:09,120
Speaker 1: hard when we separated. Yes, because we are community based people.

1109
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:11,200
Speaker 1: We need we need to be in the room, not

1110
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:14,560
Speaker 1: not on a FaceTime call with someone grieving. You need

1111
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:18,440
Speaker 1: to be in a room sharing a meal with some

1112
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:21,440
Speaker 1: other women that could just hold you and say, Gloria,

1113
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:24,880
Speaker 1: this your story happened to me thirty two years ago.

1114
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:31,800
Speaker 1: And I hope it comes. Yes, and you'll just you'll

1115
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:36,440
Speaker 1: find lifetime friends through this that you share this and

1116
01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:39,600
Speaker 1: a fraternity that you never wanted to join. Yeah, but

1117
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:43,960
Speaker 1: thank God for that. Here's here's the thing that I

1118
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:45,880
Speaker 1: would share with you again. You know I'm pastor, so

1119
01:00:45,880 --> 01:00:47,440
Speaker 1: it's always going to come back to faith for me.

1120
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:55,440
Speaker 1: Is that your grief, your pain, your questions, your anger,

1121
01:00:56,480 --> 01:01:00,200
Speaker 1: maybe even towards God. God's big enough to handle all

1122
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 1: of that. God's big enough to take your questions. God's

1123
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:06,680
Speaker 1: big enough to help you navigate your grief. The Bible

1124
01:01:06,720 --> 01:01:08,520
Speaker 1: says that Jesus was a man of sorrows, that he

1125
01:01:08,600 --> 01:01:14,760
Speaker 1: was well acquainted with grief, like he experienced it. He

1126
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 1: knew what it was like to be forsaken on the cross.

1127
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 1: He knew what it was like to be rejected by

1128
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:22,760
Speaker 1: his own people. He knew what it was like to

1129
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 1: be denied by his own disciples, and he is well acquainted.

1130
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:37,160
Speaker 1: He can handle the raw and the intense and even

1131
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:42,680
Speaker 1: the explicit frustration and grief and pain. So I would

1132
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:45,920
Speaker 1: encourage you to take it to God. And as you do,

1133
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:47,560
Speaker 1: what you're going to see is you're going to see

1134
01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:50,520
Speaker 1: that healing begin to happen. I would encourage you, as

1135
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:53,959
Speaker 1: a believer to continue to pray, continue to go to church,

1136
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:58,000
Speaker 1: even when it's difficult, it feels hard, continue to worship God.

1137
01:01:58,080 --> 01:02:02,000
Speaker 1: Put on worship music. Just put on you know, and

1138
01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 1: do that. Because I will also say that when we

1139
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 1: worship God in grief and in despair, it's really special

1140
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:15,880
Speaker 1: to God. And why is that Because that's only that

1141
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:18,960
Speaker 1: worship we can only give God on this side of eternity.

1142
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:22,360
Speaker 1: One day we'll be in heaven, we'll never be able

1143
01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:25,000
Speaker 1: to give God that kind of worship again, but we

1144
01:02:25,040 --> 01:02:27,800
Speaker 1: can give it here. And as we do that, and

1145
01:02:27,840 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 1: as we trust Him, what He begins to do is

1146
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:33,760
Speaker 1: he begins to heal our heart. He begins to heal

1147
01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:36,240
Speaker 1: our pain. The Bible says that we overcome by the

1148
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:38,000
Speaker 1: blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.

1149
01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:40,360
Speaker 1: The more you begin to share your story with other people,

1150
01:02:40,680 --> 01:02:44,400
Speaker 1: you're going to heal on the inside because God is faithful.

1151
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:48,120
Speaker 1: Love it. I love this podcast in the sense that

1152
01:02:48,160 --> 01:02:50,680
Speaker 1: we're talking to Gloria. But I know there's a lot

1153
01:02:50,680 --> 01:02:53,920
Speaker 1: of people listening that go, that's me. The people that

1154
01:02:53,960 --> 01:02:57,840
Speaker 1: didn't email, that's me. That's me. Right now, insert my

1155
01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 1: story here, Gloria. I want to say that. Lastly, I

1156
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:05,000
Speaker 1: want to say this too, Beware of guilt. Guilt is

1157
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:08,560
Speaker 1: a thief and a liar. And I'm not talking even

1158
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:11,440
Speaker 1: in the sense of the death itself of your your husband,

1159
01:03:12,040 --> 01:03:15,160
Speaker 1: but in the sense that you might smile or laugh

1160
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:18,360
Speaker 1: and instantly feel guilty that you just smiled and laughed

1161
01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:22,680
Speaker 1: and your husband's dead. How could you dare smile or

1162
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:27,000
Speaker 1: enjoy this meal, or go to a concert and laugh

1163
01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:29,080
Speaker 1: at a song. How dare you do that when your

1164
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:31,840
Speaker 1: husband's dead. That is a liar, and that is a

1165
01:03:32,040 --> 01:03:35,240
Speaker 1: thief of your joy. Don't let it enter your mind.

1166
01:03:35,680 --> 01:03:38,680
Speaker 1: Don't fall into the temptation of thinking that you can't

1167
01:03:38,720 --> 01:03:42,240
Speaker 1: be whatever your emotion is now, whether that's smiling, happy,

1168
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:46,920
Speaker 1: or crying or mourning, whatever it is is okay, wherever

1169
01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:49,440
Speaker 1: you are and whatever you feel. If you feel like laughing,

1170
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:53,120
Speaker 1: that's okay. Just live in that, just be in that.

1171
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:57,040
Speaker 1: And I hope you email back and we could get

1172
01:03:57,200 --> 01:04:02,040
Speaker 1: an update. Yeah, this has been fun. Hey, thank you

1173
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:04,160
Speaker 1: so much. Thank you for having me, and thank y'all

1174
01:04:04,200 --> 01:04:06,720
Speaker 1: so much for the questions. And uh really, I just

1175
01:04:06,720 --> 01:04:08,720
Speaker 1: feel like, man, I've just stepped into the living room

1176
01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:11,560
Speaker 1: of so many people and so that's just that's just incredible.

1177
01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:15,880
Speaker 1: Thank y'all for your transparency, your vulnerability, and for inviting

1178
01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:19,440
Speaker 1: me in to this space. Just the thrill of my life. Man,

1179
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:20,880
Speaker 1: an honor to be here, to be a part of this.

1180
01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:22,960
Speaker 1: I hope that you come back. I hope we can

1181
01:04:23,000 --> 01:04:26,680
Speaker 1: continue this. They might not. They might not. They might

1182
01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:28,480
Speaker 1: not not allow you to come to back. They might

1183
01:04:28,480 --> 01:04:30,360
Speaker 1: be like, we gotta have Daniel, man, you gotta have

1184
01:04:31,400 --> 01:04:33,520
Speaker 1: I would love to get him back on the podcast.

1185
01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:35,680
Speaker 1: I think I think that we're going to start seeing that, man,

1186
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:38,440
Speaker 1: because you're you're really you're good at this. Hey, bro,

1187
01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:40,120
Speaker 1: thank you so much, and I just thank you for

1188
01:04:40,160 --> 01:04:43,080
Speaker 1: your friendship and uh man, just the blessing you are

1189
01:04:43,120 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 1: in my life. Thank you, my brother. We'll see you

1190
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:47,800
Speaker 1: guys soon. Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast.

1191
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:50,320
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you guys. You could help me

1192
01:04:50,360 --> 01:04:53,960
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,

1193
01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:57,440
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and

1194
01:04:57,560 --> 01:05:01,320
Speaker 1: notification spell so that you never miss anytime I upload

1195
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:03,800
Speaker 1: a video. If you have a question for me that

1196
01:05:03,800 --> 01:05:07,840
Speaker 1: you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at

1197
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:10,120
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. Ye