1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,560 Speaker 1: Before we begin, please note this series includes talk of 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:13,880 Speaker 1: suicide and sexual violence. Please take care while listening. There 3 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,880 Speaker 1: are things I know about Sandy that I only know 4 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: because she wrote them down herself more than four decades ago. 5 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 1: She was a planner, a checkbook balancer, and the type 6 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:28,920 Speaker 1: of teen who kept detailed notes about her life. Among 7 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: the things that Kim, her cousin, gave me to look 8 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,560 Speaker 1: through is a date book that Sandy used to track 9 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: the last two years of her life seventy six and 10 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,600 Speaker 1: ninety seven. On the front of the date book is 11 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,519 Speaker 1: a picturesque winter scene, and on the inside of the 12 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:48,559 Speaker 1: cover is a poem. The final lines read, as you 13 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 1: close your eyes in slumber, do you think that God 14 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,840 Speaker 1: will say you have earned one more tomorrow by the 15 00:00:54,880 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: work you did today. The first entry in Andy's calendar 16 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 1: is in March of ninety six, when Sandy was still 17 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: a senior in high school. Her entries are sparse in 18 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 1: the beginning, but by August the pages are filled with 19 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:16,400 Speaker 1: her soft curse of handwriting. August, I think, is when 20 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: Sandy met her boyfriend. She wrote in her calendar, met Doug. 21 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,200 Speaker 1: The fourth went out, the eleventh and the twenty three. 22 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:29,479 Speaker 1: He got his new police car. He was twenty eight 23 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: to her eighteen years of age. She marked down his 24 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:36,120 Speaker 1: birthday in both years of her calendar, but she wouldn't 25 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: live long enough to see him turn twenty nine. Doug 26 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 1: had been married for a few years by the time 27 00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: he met Sandy. In her calendar, Sandy marked down the 28 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 1: days they met together, as well as his absences, like 29 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 1: when he was going to be out of town hunting. 30 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: She described him as six ft a hundred and sixty 31 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 1: five pounds, blue eyes, and brown hair. There's a photo 32 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: she kept where he's wearing his Maryland State Trooper uniform. 33 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: He's holding his car door open, parked in front of 34 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:12,400 Speaker 1: a McDonald's. The picture is blurry, but he's smiling and 35 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: making eye contact with someone out of frame. By December 36 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: of nineteen seventy six, the tone of Sandy's calendar changed, 37 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: went to doctor, she wrote, and then the next week 38 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: set aside money. By January, number started appearing sixty days, 39 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: eight days. Sandy drew a square around the date January 40 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,959 Speaker 1: and wrote, eight am. I've seen that date before. It's 41 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 1: on a receipt from the Women's Medical Center of Washington, 42 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: d C. That was found in her purse on the 43 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: morning of her death. The receipt was for a hundred 44 00:02:56,200 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: and twenty five dollars and seventy cents. The payment was 45 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: for an abortion. I think the running tab of numbers 46 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,839 Speaker 1: in her calendar was her attempt to estimate how far 47 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: along in her pregnancy she was. The following week, she 48 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: scrawled forget it in capital letters across one of the 49 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:20,240 Speaker 1: pages of her calendar. Within a month of having the abortion, 50 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 1: she was dead. From My Heart Radio, I'm Melissa Jelson, 51 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,840 Speaker 1: and this is what happened to Sandy Beale an I 52 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:42,000 Speaker 1: Heart original podcast, Chapter two. Dear Doug. After a couple 53 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: of days, when I try to get my mind together, 54 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: I called the doctor. He said, I cannot give you 55 00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: any answers, and I said, Dr Boyle, I said she's dead. 56 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 1: I said, she's gone. Can't you give me the answers 57 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,440 Speaker 1: that I need to have? And what did he telling? 58 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,520 Speaker 1: He told me that she had come to him, that 59 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: she had had the abortion, that she was bleeding. This 60 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: was all new information to Joanne. Sandy had kept her 61 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:21,200 Speaker 1: pregnancy and her abortion a secret from her family. Her 62 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,479 Speaker 1: mom learned about this for the first time at the 63 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:28,520 Speaker 1: police precinct after Sandy's death. But Sandy did confide in someone, 64 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:32,440 Speaker 1: her family physician, doctor Boyle. She went to him in 65 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,880 Speaker 1: December when she would have been a few months pregnant, 66 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 1: and then again after the abortion. Sandy was experiencing some 67 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 1: residual bleeding and wanted to make sure she was okay, 68 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 1: and he said, I want you to go into the 69 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 1: hospital and I will take care of you. She didn't 70 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,599 Speaker 1: want to. She was scared too because she would have 71 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: to tell us. She would have had you know, everybody 72 00:04:55,279 --> 00:05:00,160 Speaker 1: would have known, and she was embarrassed. I've thought a 73 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:03,840 Speaker 1: lot about how stressful this unexpected pregnancy must have been 74 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: for Sandy. She was already in a hidden relationship with 75 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 1: a married police officer. If they were discovered, it could 76 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 1: be catastrophic. Now, at eighteen, she believed she was pregnant 77 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:21,000 Speaker 1: with his child. Sandy was living with secrets upon secrets 78 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 1: upon secrets. We don't know how Sandy came to the 79 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: decision to have an abortion, or how long she considered 80 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,679 Speaker 1: her options, or if she was influenced by anyone else, 81 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: but ultimately she ended up at a clinic in downtown 82 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 1: d C. When I first learned about this, I had 83 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: so many questions, what would have been like to terminate 84 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:49,720 Speaker 1: a pregnancy in nine, only four years after Roe v. 85 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 1: Wade made access to abortion at constitutional right. How did 86 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:58,840 Speaker 1: Sandy pay for it? How did she get home? A 87 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: lot of these answers are lost to time, and the 88 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,640 Speaker 1: Women's Medical Center of d C is closed now. But 89 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: I was able to track down a former employee who 90 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 1: worked at the clinic at the time Sandy would have visited. 91 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: That's how I met Kathy. I will share my story um. 92 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:21,360 Speaker 1: When I was seventeen, I was abducted and assaulted and 93 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 1: helped for a number of days. Was horrific. Well, I 94 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: was abducted mid day from a city street in blue 95 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:37,719 Speaker 1: jeans and a pco, so straight up abduction assault. It 96 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:41,359 Speaker 1: was not questionable. I am well aware that police do 97 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,919 Speaker 1: not always do the detective work they should be doing, 98 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:48,119 Speaker 1: because they sure didn't. Kathy was abducted and raped in St. 99 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,600 Speaker 1: Louis in nineteen sixty nine. She was able to escape, 100 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:57,320 Speaker 1: but it was understandably a life altering experience. And my grandmother, 101 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: who was completely uneducated, but escaped from the Warsaw ghetto, 102 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:09,200 Speaker 1: and she said in a very dear Eastern European voice, Darling, 103 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 1: you have a choice. You can hide, you can get 104 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 1: very sad, or you can speak your truth and teach 105 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:29,520 Speaker 1: something about this. Those words stayed with me a very 106 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 1: long time. There with me still, Cathy chose to speak 107 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:42,160 Speaker 1: her truth. She became an activist involved in the women's 108 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:46,560 Speaker 1: reproductive rights movement. She received her PhD in counseling, and 109 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: in the mid nineties seventies began working at the Women's 110 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 1: Medical Center of DC. She started as a mental health 111 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 1: counselor working with patients and later became the director of 112 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:00,360 Speaker 1: the counseling center there. So we were in a large 113 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:07,200 Speaker 1: office building, was very spacious, It was very comfortable. One 114 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 1: could come in for birth control counseling, or abortion counseling, 115 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:20,280 Speaker 1: or crisis counseling. In stars counseling wide array. Cathy reminded 116 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 1: me that this was all pre internet and pre cell phones. 117 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 1: She said, Sandy likely would have heard of the clinic 118 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 1: through word of mouth or been referred by her doctor. 119 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 1: It was also before at home pregnancy tests became widely 120 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 1: available in the US, so to confirm that she was pregnant, 121 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:39,319 Speaker 1: Sandy would have had to have visited a doctor. If 122 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: it was determined she was pregnant and she was in 123 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 1: a reasonable time frame for our work. She would be 124 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: sent to a counseling room where she would meet with 125 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:57,559 Speaker 1: a council who would have asked many, many questions to 126 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: see if this sounded okay, like someone who had thought 127 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: this through. Was likely as best as we could determine 128 00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 1: to handle the procedure and aftermath. After speaking with Kathy, 129 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,960 Speaker 1: I was left with the impression that Sandy could have 130 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: received really good care at Women's Medical Center. She would 131 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,720 Speaker 1: have been evaluated by counselors before the abortion, and they 132 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: would have followed up with her afterwards to make sure 133 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:34,079 Speaker 1: she was doing okay. If any of us had any 134 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:45,200 Speaker 1: inkling that this would be extremely disregulating, emotionally, extremely destabilizing, 135 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: she wouldn't have had the abortion at Women's Medical Say. 136 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: I told Kathy about Sandy's story to get her take. 137 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,839 Speaker 1: Sandy died just one month after her abortion. I wanted 138 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 1: to know had Kathy ever heard if any of the 139 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: clinics patients dying by suicide. I wondered if it might 140 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:07,679 Speaker 1: have gotten back to them. I can't remember a single 141 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 1: case like that. To the family. The revelation that Sandy 142 00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 1: had had an abortion provided a motive for Doug. Sandy 143 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 1: was a complication in his life. The Bells didn't necessarily 144 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,480 Speaker 1: imagine that Doug had an elaborate plan to get rid 145 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: of Sandy. Instead, they thought that maybe there had been 146 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: an altercation of some kind. Kim's theory as to why 147 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,679 Speaker 1: Sandy had the gun with her that night is that 148 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: maybe she was trying to scare Doug and maybe things 149 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 1: just got out of control. And their fears that Sandy 150 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: was murdered by an intimate partner aren't outlandish. In the US, 151 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 1: four women a day are killed by their boyfriends and 152 00:10:56,640 --> 00:11:01,200 Speaker 1: husbands and exes. While it's uncomfortable to talk about, women 153 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 1: are at greater risk of violence at the hands of 154 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 1: someone they know than by a stranger. Here's what the 155 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:11,080 Speaker 1: Beale family knew. Sandy had been in a secretive relationship 156 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,319 Speaker 1: with a married man. She had gotten pregnant and had 157 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,559 Speaker 1: an abortion, and then ended up dead one mile away 158 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:21,000 Speaker 1: from her boyfriend's place of work, and found with her 159 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:25,520 Speaker 1: body was a letter she had made out specifically to him. 160 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to read it now. Keep in mind, this 161 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,920 Speaker 1: is all coming from her perspective, and we don't know 162 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: if everything in it is true, but it gives us 163 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,200 Speaker 1: a great deal of insight into how she felt around 164 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 1: the time she died. Doug, I know now it's over, 165 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 1: and it has been all along. I guess I'm going 166 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:50,120 Speaker 1: crazy and nobody can see it. You know you're right. 167 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: I am trouble. I lost my baby. I wanted so much. 168 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:59,040 Speaker 1: I thought it would bring some kind of love because 169 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,200 Speaker 1: I was looking for love of and never found it 170 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 1: from you. But you didn't care. You never came when 171 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: I was sick. I only wish I could start all 172 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: over again. Then you wouldn't have used me like you did. 173 00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 1: You didn't care, and I guess you never will. I 174 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 1: never want another man to ever want me. I just 175 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 1: want to leave and forget the pain. You see, I'll 176 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 1: have to one day pay for the loss of my baby, 177 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,760 Speaker 1: and when that day comes, Douglas will pay for what 178 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:31,439 Speaker 1: he did to me and his baby. I love you, 179 00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,679 Speaker 1: and I'm sorry for all of this I've caused you. 180 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 1: So this letter was interpreted by police as a suicide. 181 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,319 Speaker 1: What do you see in this letter? She wasn't committing suicide, 182 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:48,560 Speaker 1: but I just don't believe it. That's Sandy's cousin, Kim. 183 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,520 Speaker 1: Did you believe she wanted to get away from it 184 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 1: and she was going to have to go through a 185 00:12:51,800 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 1: grieving process. I see that she was in a lot 186 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:00,560 Speaker 1: of pain, and she was a kid. She's about to 187 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 1: be nineteen, and she sees the way the world is, 188 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: and she's recognizing that she loved him and she couldn't 189 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,560 Speaker 1: have any more than that. But at the same time, 190 00:13:10,559 --> 00:13:13,960 Speaker 1: this is where her fire comes out, and I just 191 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 1: want to leave and forget all the pain. How how 192 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 1: do you hear that line? Now? That's when she wanted 193 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:23,320 Speaker 1: to go to Maine. In the last few months of 194 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:27,120 Speaker 1: Sandy's life, she had started talking about moving. She wrote 195 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:29,240 Speaker 1: to her grandmother in Maine and asked if she could 196 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 1: live with her. These plans are a major reason why 197 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,080 Speaker 1: the Bell family so vehemently rejected the theory of suicide. 198 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,960 Speaker 1: Sandy was hopeful about the future. Here's her mom, Joanne. 199 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: She wouldn't have gone to the lengths of calling her 200 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:49,120 Speaker 1: grandmother and talking with her. And she loved a grandmother Beale. 201 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:53,480 Speaker 1: She didn't like my mom. She liked a grandmother Beale, 202 00:13:53,600 --> 00:14:00,160 Speaker 1: and that's why I don't think she committed the suicide. 203 00:14:01,080 --> 00:14:04,080 Speaker 1: When I first read Sandy's letter, it didn't seem to 204 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 1: me like a suicide note. Instead, I recognized it as 205 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 1: a certain type of writing specific to teenage girls who 206 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:14,040 Speaker 1: had had their hearts broken for the very first time, 207 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 1: girls who learned too early how men could use and 208 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:22,360 Speaker 1: take advantage of them, take their hearts and bodies and time, 209 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:27,080 Speaker 1: and then just discard them like trash. I recognized the 210 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 1: letter because I had written ones just like it. The 211 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,000 Speaker 1: note could be interpreted manyways, though, depending on the lens 212 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 1: you read it through heartbroken teen or as the cops 213 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:41,720 Speaker 1: read it, girl on the brink of suicide. If she 214 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 1: hadn't written that damn note, ship head, I wish she 215 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,520 Speaker 1: had a mail that son of a bitch instead of 216 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:54,880 Speaker 1: leaving it in the gun, Joanna Leaves. The police closed 217 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 1: the case so quickly because of the letter Sandy wrote 218 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:02,320 Speaker 1: to Doug. Without it, she thinks Sandy's death would have 219 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 1: been investigated as a murder, and that those closest to her, 220 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 1: including her boyfriend Doug, would have faced questioning. If you 221 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 1: was going with a girl and you got her pregnant 222 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: and you was married, and you told her to go 223 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 1: get an abortion and she did, and then she still 224 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: was hanging onto you, what do you think you would do. 225 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,000 Speaker 1: You're twenty eight years old, You've got a nice career 226 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,920 Speaker 1: with the state police, and you've gotten a girl pregnant. 227 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: If Doug was responsible, the Bills believed that he would 228 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 1: be uniquely adept at covering up the crime due to 229 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,160 Speaker 1: his training as a law enforcement officer. Here's Kim again. 230 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:47,960 Speaker 1: He's then the ideal situation. He's in the position of authority, 231 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 1: he has the skill set, um, he has the trust 232 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:55,720 Speaker 1: within his department. They're going to believe him over us, 233 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 1: so he's going to be able to cover up. He 234 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 1: just has all the resources available to them. Kim suspicions 235 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 1: of Doug kind of makes sense given her line of work. 236 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: She's a therapist for domestic violence victims and as a result, 237 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 1: all too familiar with the ways that men harm the 238 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 1: women they claim to love. Her passion to help survivors 239 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: and her desire to solve Sandy's case a sort of 240 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 1: interwoven at this stage, feeding off of each other, and honestly, 241 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,560 Speaker 1: it's really impressive just how much energy she continues to 242 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 1: commit to Sandy. For the last year, we've texted almost 243 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,080 Speaker 1: every single day to compare notes and talk about the case. 244 00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 1: And you have to remember she's been working on this 245 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: for decades now. Her efforts over the years to track 246 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 1: down documents and navigate the maze of state agencies and 247 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:49,600 Speaker 1: local police, it's herculean. I'm kind of like gum on 248 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:55,080 Speaker 1: people's shoes, and I ask a lot of questions. Tenacious, 249 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:58,640 Speaker 1: that's the word that I've been told before, and it's 250 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:02,360 Speaker 1: really stubbornness. And the people that I had to keep 251 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,960 Speaker 1: trying to reach over and over again were the law 252 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,440 Speaker 1: enforcement that there. They were really just trying to cover 253 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 1: their ass and be cautious about what they gave me 254 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,400 Speaker 1: and what they did. Kim had been researching Sandy's case 255 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:20,240 Speaker 1: in some form or another since nineteen but the investigation 256 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: took on a new urgency in two thousand and six 257 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 1: after Kim traveled to Maine to see Sandy's parents. Ronald, 258 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,879 Speaker 1: Sandy's dad, was nearing the end of his life, and 259 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,080 Speaker 1: as Kim talked to him, she learned that he was 260 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,159 Speaker 1: still preoccupied with what happened to Sandy and all the 261 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: unanswered questions around her death. I hate that Ronnie died 262 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:48,879 Speaker 1: not knowing just m It's just not fair that he 263 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:52,320 Speaker 1: would go to his grave and not now, that's just 264 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:56,119 Speaker 1: not fair. We need to get those answers, and I 265 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:58,360 Speaker 1: don't want Joanne to leave this earth and not half 266 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:02,360 Speaker 1: them too. She was overcome with a deep sense of injustice. 267 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:05,239 Speaker 1: She told me, Oh my gosh, you know, there's not 268 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,959 Speaker 1: enough time to get to find out these answers and 269 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 1: we know nothing, and it's oh six, that's a lot 270 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:14,880 Speaker 1: of time, that's what. Twenty nine years later, Kim decided 271 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,600 Speaker 1: to track down the official police report on Sandy's death, 272 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:21,600 Speaker 1: thinking it would be simple to get not so. She 273 00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,720 Speaker 1: started by calling the Prince George's County Police Department, where 274 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 1: she was connected to a detective in the cold case unit, 275 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 1: Bernie Nelson. He quickly referred her to someone else, another 276 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:35,640 Speaker 1: detective who had a strange story to share. He started 277 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,440 Speaker 1: how humming along and you know, I'm not sure that's 278 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,400 Speaker 1: a long time ago. I don't think I can get 279 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:45,359 Speaker 1: those records. And so probably three or four calls and 280 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,480 Speaker 1: um then he told me, well the buildings burned down. 281 00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 1: I'm like what, So he said, well, the probably the 282 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,040 Speaker 1: only thing I'm gonna be able to get as a 283 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 1: tickler file. Well, I've been in marketing before, I know 284 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,240 Speaker 1: that's just an index card, and it's jumped from one 285 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,159 Speaker 1: month to another to follow up on people. I'm like, 286 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 1: I don't care what you have, Just get me what 287 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,679 Speaker 1: you have. Okay, I'll work on it. Well, that was 288 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,880 Speaker 1: the last communication I had with him, because he would 289 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,399 Speaker 1: never return my calls anymore. So I gave up on 290 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:18,040 Speaker 1: the police report. Actually, instead, she focused on getting Sandy's autopsy, 291 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 1: which she eventually was able to acquire. It added one 292 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:26,480 Speaker 1: very important detail, Sandy had sperm inside her body, suggesting 293 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:29,120 Speaker 1: that she'd recently had sex. Though it's hard to know 294 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 1: exactly when I think what happened, and maybe I'm wrong. 295 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:42,399 Speaker 1: I think that he met her, they had sex, and 296 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:47,560 Speaker 1: she probably was thinking, well, i've had the aboortion, everything's fine, 297 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,399 Speaker 1: we're gonna stick together. And I think he said, no, 298 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 1: I'm going back to my wife. The family had already 299 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:59,480 Speaker 1: believed Sandy wasn't alone in the Pollard that night. Maybe 300 00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,720 Speaker 1: the letter to Doug was supposed to have been given 301 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 1: to him in person. Fast forward to seventeen, and it 302 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,960 Speaker 1: wasn't until my niece introduced me to her new boyfriend, 303 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,520 Speaker 1: and he was a Prince George's county cop. And I 304 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 1: said that I've been looking for this police report for decades, 305 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 1: and um, they set the building burned down and he goes, 306 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,919 Speaker 1: the building never burned down. I'm work out of it 307 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,439 Speaker 1: and it's about a seventy five year old building. That 308 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 1: building never burned down. And so that got my you know, 309 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:36,359 Speaker 1: blood boiling. So Kim picked up the phone once again 310 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,960 Speaker 1: and dialed the Pugi County Police. This time though, she 311 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,679 Speaker 1: connected with a sympathetic clerk who passed her requests along 312 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 1: to Cold Casse Detective Bernie Nelson, the same detective she 313 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 1: first spoke to in two thousand and six. All of 314 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,120 Speaker 1: a sudden, I got that emails dating Bernie Nelson has 315 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,280 Speaker 1: found the police report. He didn't tell me where he 316 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,360 Speaker 1: found it. He just said he found it and that 317 00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:04,520 Speaker 1: here it is attached. Oh my gosh. I like was nervous, 318 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 1: and I was driving as fast as I could to 319 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,359 Speaker 1: get to my computer so I couldn print it out 320 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: because I thought it was just going to go away. 321 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,400 Speaker 1: And I couldn't believe that it was twelve pages, which 322 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:18,440 Speaker 1: was just amazing. But because they assured me that there 323 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: was there was no way that this was going to 324 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: be available. The entire time that Kim had been looking 325 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 1: for it. The police file had been safe and sound 326 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,960 Speaker 1: in the home of the cop who investigated the case 327 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 1: in nineteen seventy seven, retired Detective at Selski. When he 328 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,440 Speaker 1: left the force, he took his files home with him. 329 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:43,399 Speaker 1: In a full thirteen years after Kim's initial request, cold 330 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 1: case detective Bernie Nelson went to Shechelski's house and physically 331 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 1: retrieved the file from his boxes of papers. And even 332 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,360 Speaker 1: Bernie said, I don't even know why he saved it, 333 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,120 Speaker 1: but for whatever reason, he saved it, and they found 334 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 1: it in his mouth. Bernie went up with men went 335 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:04,120 Speaker 1: through the boxes to get this report for me, but 336 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:06,800 Speaker 1: they probably wanted me off their butt, And I said 337 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,439 Speaker 1: that when I emailed, and I'm like, I'm not going away. 338 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,720 Speaker 1: The full police report is actually a seventeen page digital 339 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,199 Speaker 1: file filled with details about what detectives found when they 340 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 1: arrived on the scene. Sandy was sitting on a gold 341 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 1: blanket in the driver's seat, her white coat sat on 342 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 1: the seat next to her, and on top of it 343 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 1: was a gun, a three seven Ruger revolver. The police 344 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:43,159 Speaker 1: report also includes a series of photocopies. There's a copy 345 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,119 Speaker 1: of the letter Sandy wrote to Doug, along with what 346 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,919 Speaker 1: looks like a rough draft and an envelope addressed to 347 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:52,399 Speaker 1: his work. The last page of the report is another 348 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:55,520 Speaker 1: photocopy of something that was found in her car. But 349 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: it's really blurry, so I can't read what's on it. 350 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,879 Speaker 1: All I can make out or you faint lines of 351 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,400 Speaker 1: Sandy's handwriting. For months, I assumed it was another note 352 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:08,040 Speaker 1: Sandy had written the contents lost to time. But then 353 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:10,159 Speaker 1: one day I found the original in the stack of 354 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,720 Speaker 1: documents that Kim gave me. Turns out it's not a letter, 355 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:18,159 Speaker 1: it's a photograph. The police report only includes a copy 356 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,880 Speaker 1: of the back, but what's on the front is far 357 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 1: more revealing. It's Sandy's photograph of Doug standing in front 358 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:30,480 Speaker 1: of the McDonald's in his state trooper uniform. I don't 359 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,679 Speaker 1: buy any of that ship. There was a lot of 360 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 1: things that they said and did that I didn't that 361 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 1: I argued with them about. But they looked at us, 362 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 1: I think, as well than nobody that little class. According 363 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 1: to the police report, there were empty pill bottles in 364 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:55,480 Speaker 1: Sandy's car and loose pills scattered on her seat. Although 365 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,240 Speaker 1: this description might give the impression that Sandy was trying 366 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,520 Speaker 1: to overdose the autop She did not find any drugs 367 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,160 Speaker 1: or alcohol in her system at the time of her death. 368 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:08,199 Speaker 1: It just staged me, like, oh, we found, you know, 369 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:12,280 Speaker 1: pills underneath her legs. Well they were they were allergy 370 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,439 Speaker 1: pills and um. So they made it look like she 371 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:19,480 Speaker 1: committed suicide. But I don't think they did a thorough investigation. 372 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,679 Speaker 1: They didn't do their due diligence. I don't think they 373 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:28,120 Speaker 1: investigated anything. It was more than forty years after Sandy's 374 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,480 Speaker 1: death before her family would get a copy of the 375 00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,520 Speaker 1: police report and be able to read it. They had 376 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,360 Speaker 1: hoped that there would be some kind of in controvertible 377 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:39,800 Speaker 1: proof in the report that could settle their questions. The 378 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 1: family felt that with more information that have a clearer 379 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,400 Speaker 1: picture of how and why Sandy died, but the new 380 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 1: information just muddled the story. The police report provided a 381 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,439 Speaker 1: detailed account of this scene and reminded the family of 382 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,480 Speaker 1: the cardboard shoved under the wheels of her car and 383 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 1: the tire tracks that seemed to indicate she was trying 384 00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:03,119 Speaker 1: to get her car out of the mud. The report 385 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,880 Speaker 1: also noted that the gun had been collected and dusted 386 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,639 Speaker 1: for Prince. It had none. If Sandy had used the 387 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:14,639 Speaker 1: gun on herself, wouldn't they find her Prince? And crucially, 388 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,760 Speaker 1: why was there no mention of Doug in the written 389 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:22,119 Speaker 1: police report, even though his name, his work address, and 390 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,440 Speaker 1: a photo of him were found in her car. Certainly 391 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:28,440 Speaker 1: they as far as we know, they didn't investigate dog 392 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,440 Speaker 1: because there's no mention of that in the police report either. 393 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:36,080 Speaker 1: Here's Sandy's brother, Stephen. Well, what I say is, if 394 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:40,399 Speaker 1: she committed suicide, somebody's going to have to do some 395 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:44,399 Speaker 1: holl acious proven to me, some how acious proven to me, 396 00:25:44,600 --> 00:26:00,119 Speaker 1: has even that's what they say, fucking proven. Hi is 397 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:04,560 Speaker 1: his head? He Hi? It's Melissa. Can you hear me? Okay? 398 00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,359 Speaker 1: That's retired detective at Sheelski. He's the one who wrote 399 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 1: the police report and investigated Sandy's death all those years ago, 400 00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,639 Speaker 1: the one who stored the police report at his house. 401 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 1: I tracked him down on Facebook. He was somewhat surprised 402 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,280 Speaker 1: to learn Sandy's family was still uncertain about the events 403 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,760 Speaker 1: surrounding her death. He was willing to answer their questions 404 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,480 Speaker 1: and mine in order to put the issue to rest. 405 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,720 Speaker 1: It's the time that I wrote them aside. It was 406 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:36,160 Speaker 1: kind of a sought after job to press stige. I'm 407 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,680 Speaker 1: a homicide dick, you know what I mean. But let 408 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:42,480 Speaker 1: me tell you it had to ye the police department 409 00:26:43,040 --> 00:26:49,119 Speaker 1: well angling well over a hundred murders a year. I 410 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:54,520 Speaker 1: mean they put us like, don't. Shelski speaks with the 411 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:58,280 Speaker 1: brash confidence of a lifelong police officer, and he's an 412 00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 1: experienced storyteller. A few years ago, he wrote a novel 413 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 1: that touches on his time working homicide, called in Cheep's Clothing. 414 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,320 Speaker 1: The book is dedicated to the quote finest group of 415 00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:14,199 Speaker 1: police officers found anywhere the past and present members of 416 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:18,080 Speaker 1: the Prince George's County Police Department. So I had declare 417 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,920 Speaker 1: I was in my afe, which is only a few 418 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:26,400 Speaker 1: holes away from where her body was. Arriving on scene, 419 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 1: he recalled what he noticed, a young woman slumped over 420 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,000 Speaker 1: in a car seat alone, with a gun close to 421 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:37,520 Speaker 1: her right hand. Her hands were coated in gunpowder, which 422 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 1: indicated to Shashlski that her hands were on or very 423 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:45,480 Speaker 1: close to the gun when it was fired. Upon further inspection, 424 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 1: he saw that the gunshot in her abdomen was a 425 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,880 Speaker 1: contact wound, meaning that the gun had been touching her 426 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:59,760 Speaker 1: body when it fired. She was made up from there, said, 427 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:05,200 Speaker 1: I kept very attractive. I asked Selski what he made 428 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,520 Speaker 1: of some of the more unusual details of Sandy's case, 429 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 1: like the location of the gunshot. He told me something 430 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:14,640 Speaker 1: a lot of people have said to me as I've 431 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 1: reported the story, that women, especially young attractive women, don't 432 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,960 Speaker 1: like to shoot themselves in the face because of vanity. 433 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,439 Speaker 1: I tried to fact check this claim, and there's not 434 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 1: much research, but I did track down one study from 435 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,360 Speaker 1: that found that men were almost twice as likely as 436 00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,600 Speaker 1: women to use a method of suicide that disfigured their 437 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:41,000 Speaker 1: head or face. But researchers dismissed the theory that women 438 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:45,920 Speaker 1: were driven by vanity, calling it an empirically unsupported explanation 439 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:50,520 Speaker 1: that characterizes the suicidal behavior of women as motivated by 440 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:56,600 Speaker 1: selfish or trivial concerns. While Shachlski had a fairly good 441 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,640 Speaker 1: memory of Sandy's case, he didn't remember one of the 442 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:03,440 Speaker 1: d tells that the family latched onto the cardboard under 443 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,280 Speaker 1: Sandy's tires. He insisted that I was mistaken until I 444 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,720 Speaker 1: showed him his own police report, where he noted it 445 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:14,320 Speaker 1: this detail. It doesn't fit neatly into the police narrative 446 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 1: of suicide. If Sandy went to the Pollard to end 447 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 1: her life, why did it seem like she was trying 448 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:25,920 Speaker 1: repeatedly to leave. You don't ruar anything now, So I said, 449 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,240 Speaker 1: you don't want to be a tunnel vision. You want 450 00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:32,400 Speaker 1: to go in there with an open line homicide, suicide, 451 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,720 Speaker 1: natural or whatever. But I mean, I got a gun 452 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 1: on a truck seat and a build and a bank 453 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 1: seat or wherever it was. It's not a natural thing. 454 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:46,480 Speaker 1: Though I can eliminate that. It's not an accident, Singer, 455 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 1: I can eliminate that. So we lets for frost is 456 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 1: a homicide or a suicide. And then there was the 457 00:29:53,920 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 1: letter to Doug what I interpreted as a suicide night Yes, yes, 458 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:06,200 Speaker 1: I mean, but again, it doesn't say good bye a 459 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:10,040 Speaker 1: queer world. Either. Sends to me like she's kind of 460 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:14,760 Speaker 1: talking together a little bit. She's rejected. There's nothing to 461 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 1: live for. She lost her baby, she lost her lover. 462 00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 1: She probably told her thousands of times he was going 463 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 1: to leave his wife, you know what I mean. She 464 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:30,440 Speaker 1: didn't get that. She loses her baby, what does their 465 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:35,160 Speaker 1: love for? That's what I can see in that letter 466 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 1: I could think of a lot of reasons Sandy had 467 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:43,080 Speaker 1: to live. She was eighteen years old to start, she 468 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:49,680 Speaker 1: had family, a job, friends, ambitions. I have no doubt 469 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,840 Speaker 1: that Sandy was despondent over what sounds like the breakup 470 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:56,160 Speaker 1: of her very first love. But the jump to having 471 00:30:56,200 --> 00:31:00,320 Speaker 1: nothing to live for it seems quite far, And I 472 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:04,160 Speaker 1: wondered if these intimate details about Sandy's personal life, which 473 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:08,160 Speaker 1: were on display in her writings, colored the police's interpretation 474 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 1: of her death. What if there had been no letter, 475 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:16,000 Speaker 1: What if there was no receipt from the clinic. Back then, 476 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 1: much like now, there were a lot of myths around abortion. 477 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 1: One is that women who obtain them are more likely 478 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,479 Speaker 1: to be depressed or suicidal afterwards. We now know this 479 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,600 Speaker 1: to be untrue. The most comprehensive research project on the 480 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:34,960 Speaker 1: effects of unintended pregnancy on women's lives, called the Turnaway Study, 481 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 1: has found that abortion does not increase the risk of 482 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:42,360 Speaker 1: having suicidal thoughts or the chance of developing depression or anxiety. 483 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:44,760 Speaker 1: In fact, women who are able to get an abortion 484 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,719 Speaker 1: when they want one are more likely to have a 485 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 1: positive outlook on the future. Could hit me as a 486 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,560 Speaker 1: suicide right after bat I do what I was supposed 487 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 1: to do, and it is it was a suicide. I'm 488 00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,760 Speaker 1: not even gonna say, in my opinion it was a suicide. 489 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:07,640 Speaker 1: It was a suicide. That's a simple maybe, but it 490 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:12,960 Speaker 1: was a suicide. I don't think any suicide is simple. 491 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,400 Speaker 1: But Sandy's case did have an added layer of complication 492 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,680 Speaker 1: for police the fact that her boyfriend was a state trooper. 493 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:24,240 Speaker 1: Doug's name was all over the scene. The autopsy revealed 494 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:27,440 Speaker 1: that Sandy had sex before her death. I thought her 495 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,160 Speaker 1: boyfriend would be high on the list of people to interview, 496 00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:33,800 Speaker 1: and in fact, it's standard procedure in cases like this. 497 00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:38,040 Speaker 1: The Department of Justice recommends that death investigators should try 498 00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,880 Speaker 1: to quote document when, where, how, and by whom the 499 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:46,080 Speaker 1: decedent was last known to be alive. I asked Detective 500 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:49,240 Speaker 1: Schellski if he ever considered Doug a person of interest, 501 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,160 Speaker 1: or if he thought to speak to him to learn 502 00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 1: more about Sandy's mental health or to help recreate the 503 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,200 Speaker 1: last forty eight hours of her life, not as I 504 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 1: was concern to. He was not aspect than anything. Shelski 505 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,880 Speaker 1: told me that he didn't have any qualms going after 506 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 1: a fellow officer if it was warranted. It's worth noting 507 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:13,040 Speaker 1: that Selski didn't know Doug. State and County Police are 508 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:18,120 Speaker 1: different entities and operate independently, and while Shelsky didn't interview Doug, 509 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,680 Speaker 1: he did do something. He notified the state Police that 510 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:24,600 Speaker 1: the trooper may have had an inappropriate relationship with an 511 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:28,280 Speaker 1: eighteen year old girl. I filed the public information request 512 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:30,400 Speaker 1: with the Maryland State Police to see if I could 513 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,880 Speaker 1: find records of an internal investigation into Doug after Sandy 514 00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:37,400 Speaker 1: was found dead, but I was too late. Internal affairs 515 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,360 Speaker 1: records are maintained for only thirty years. There was no 516 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 1: occasion of anything in that car, then a suicide. Again, 517 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:55,240 Speaker 1: the biggies on her her father's glad is the biggest one. 518 00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,840 Speaker 1: I'm not going to drag somebody or over to Claris 519 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:07,920 Speaker 1: another every day guy. Detective Shochelski didn't think it was 520 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:11,359 Speaker 1: worth talking to Doug, but I did. Since I began 521 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:15,200 Speaker 1: this podcast, I've tried repeatedly to make contact with him, 522 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:19,280 Speaker 1: sending him emails and messages on LinkedIn. I've also mailed 523 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,400 Speaker 1: handwritten letters to his home, and in one I included 524 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,719 Speaker 1: a photo of Sandy. To this day, I've yet to 525 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:29,759 Speaker 1: speak with him, Doug, if you're listening, I still want 526 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:37,240 Speaker 1: to talk. Over the years, Doug has turned into somewhat 527 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,440 Speaker 1: of a mythic figure for the Bell family. He's an enigma, 528 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,120 Speaker 1: a mystery man who played a pivotal role in Sandy's 529 00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:51,040 Speaker 1: life and then just disappeared. After Sandy's death, Joanne tried 530 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:53,640 Speaker 1: to track him down. She told me that she called 531 00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,600 Speaker 1: the Maryland State Police in hopes of speaking with him. 532 00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:01,279 Speaker 1: When I called the State Police marks, the man was 533 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:05,600 Speaker 1: not very friendly. He said, well, you don't have to 534 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:09,600 Speaker 1: worry about that, ma'am. He's been transferred. Well, he's been 535 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:11,920 Speaker 1: wanting to go to Baltimore for a long time. We 536 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,960 Speaker 1: finally got an opening when we sent him along. And 537 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:23,200 Speaker 1: I'm thinking, yeah, right, so, uh, I didn't get anywhere 538 00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:27,799 Speaker 1: with the state place. Maryland State Police informed Joanne the 539 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,480 Speaker 1: dog had been transferred. I wasn't able to verify this 540 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,520 Speaker 1: with the state Police. However, they did confirm that he 541 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:39,240 Speaker 1: was assigned to a barracks in the Baltimore area. Two 542 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:45,160 Speaker 1: get that cup transferred right away. They covered everything up, 543 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:49,560 Speaker 1: I thought. I thought at the time, I thought they're 544 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:54,560 Speaker 1: just telling me that ship because they know And I 545 00:35:54,640 --> 00:36:01,719 Speaker 1: still think that up until now, I've held back a 546 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 1: single detail in Sandy's case. I wanted you to get 547 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,319 Speaker 1: to know Sandy in the way her family knew her 548 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:12,880 Speaker 1: as a daughter, a sister, and as a civilian. But 549 00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:15,360 Speaker 1: one of the major reasons why I held onto Joanne's 550 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,239 Speaker 1: letter for so many years was because Sandy wasn't just 551 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:22,640 Speaker 1: a regular teenage girl who worked at the mall. Sandy 552 00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:25,680 Speaker 1: she wanted to be a cop, and not just in 553 00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:28,839 Speaker 1: some idle day dreaming kind of way. In the last 554 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,200 Speaker 1: year of her life, she was training to become a 555 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,840 Speaker 1: police officer, going on ride alongs with pg County Police 556 00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:38,480 Speaker 1: and even taking the written test for the academy. So 557 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,799 Speaker 1: Sandy wasn't a stranger to pigg County police. She was 558 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:45,399 Speaker 1: actively trying to become one of them. Well, I'm old 559 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:49,000 Speaker 1: enough and worked in organizations long enough to know that 560 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,520 Speaker 1: you're going to want to protect the people that you 561 00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:55,640 Speaker 1: work with or the reputation of the agency. Sander could 562 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:59,640 Speaker 1: have been retired by now, she's doing a life sex underground. 563 00:37:01,440 --> 00:37:03,359 Speaker 1: So I give a ship about these people. I hope 564 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:08,520 Speaker 1: they were at now. Well, it's just you know, there 565 00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,440 Speaker 1: was dirty cops back then, just like the dirty pops 566 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:14,680 Speaker 1: cops now you just never know where they're at and 567 00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:22,520 Speaker 1: who they are, you know. On our next episode, we 568 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:26,839 Speaker 1: learn more about Sandy's gold to become a police officer. Yeah, 569 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:30,360 Speaker 1: I know, she really talked about want to become a cop. 570 00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,799 Speaker 1: At first, I was a little surprised, like really, yeah, 571 00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:37,520 Speaker 1: So she was talking about these ridlongs and how she 572 00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,200 Speaker 1: enjoyed them. That's what I do. We call. She's saying, yeah, 573 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:46,480 Speaker 1: and Jesse, guys, get away with ship. You know. I'm 574 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:50,120 Speaker 1: Melissa Jelson and this is what Happened to Sandy Beale. 575 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,640 Speaker 1: What Happened to Sandy Beale is hosted by me, Melissa Jelson. 576 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,640 Speaker 1: It's written and produced by me and kittre In and Norville. 577 00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,759 Speaker 1: The podcast is edited by Abu Safard, sound designed by 578 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:09,360 Speaker 1: Aaron Kaufman. Jason English is our executive producer. Research and 579 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:13,000 Speaker 1: production assistance by Marissa Brown. To find out more about 580 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:17,480 Speaker 1: my investigation, follow me on Twitter at quasimado. That's qu 581 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:21,080 Speaker 1: a s I am a d O. Thanks so much 582 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:21,640 Speaker 1: for listening.