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Speaker 1: Pushkin Pushkin. Learning to make it on your own without

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Speaker 1: your parents can be tough for any kid, but especially

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Speaker 1: if your mom and dad are superstars. Over the last

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Speaker 1: three years, Maya Hawk has managed to escape the long

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Speaker 1: shadow of her very famous parents with Irman and Ethan Hawk.

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Speaker 1: She's made a name for herself, first as an actor

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Speaker 1: in Stranger Things, Little Women in Tarantino's latest Once Upon

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Speaker 1: a Time in Hollywood, and now Mayah Hawk is breaking

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Speaker 1: new ground as a singer songwriter. Maya's debut album, Blush

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Speaker 1: is an invitation into her vivid inner life and her songs.

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Speaker 1: She's figuring out who she is out in the world alone.

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Speaker 1: The songs are clever, poetic, and raw. They touch on

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Speaker 1: the dynamic emotional life of a young woman navigating her

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Speaker 1: way through love, lust and disappointment. I spoke with Maya

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Speaker 1: recently from her family's home on Long Island. She speaks

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Speaker 1: candidly about how she honors all the various versions of

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Speaker 1: herself and why she slipped into what she calls her

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Speaker 1: sultry Cinderella character. During early live performances. You'll also hear

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Speaker 1: Maya talk about going to Graceland with her dad and

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Speaker 1: a song she wrote about their rocky relationship. This is

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Speaker 1: broken record liner notes for the digital age. I'm justin Richmondton.

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Speaker 1: Just a quick note here. You can listen to all

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Speaker 1: of the music mentioned in this episode on our playlist,

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Speaker 1: which you can find a link to in the show

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Speaker 1: notes for licensing reasons, each time a song is referenced

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Speaker 1: in this episode, you'll hear this sound effect. All right,

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Speaker 1: enjoyed the episode, Here's my conversation with Maya Hawk, But

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Speaker 1: before we jump in, here's my and her producer, Jesse

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Speaker 1: Harris on guitar performing the first single from Blush. It's

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Speaker 1: called by Myself. I was thinking about talking to you yesterday,

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Speaker 1: and I was thinking I first saw you first, even

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Speaker 1: knew about you from seeing Quentin's movie last summer. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my wife watched The Stranger Things. I haven't really seen it,

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Speaker 1: but she knew you from that. But I was thinking

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Speaker 1: about how both of those things came out last summer.

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Speaker 1: So last summer must have been a complete whirlwind, and

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Speaker 1: what a difference like a year makes for me. The

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Speaker 1: part that feels like a whirlwind is the making of

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Speaker 1: the thing, Like the summer before, when I was filming

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Speaker 1: Stranger Things and sneaking away to film Quentin's movie and

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Speaker 1: like recording a bunch of music and like that summer

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Speaker 1: felt like a whirlwind. And then last summer of twenty

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Speaker 1: nineteen that was just a summer where things came out.

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Speaker 1: Setting it for To the public part, it is sort

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Speaker 1: of like, is that you know you want to hide

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Speaker 1: under the covers a little bit? Got it? Got it?

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Speaker 1: Obviously you're still young, but you've been acting for a

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Speaker 1: few years. And I tend to think I guess people

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Speaker 1: tend to think of actors as being just very free

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Speaker 1: with themselves, you know, and it's hard to imagine that

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Speaker 1: you aren't impervious to things like just feeling like, oh man,

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Speaker 1: this thing's coming out finally, and how's it going to

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Speaker 1: be perceived? And I mean, first of all, a lot

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Speaker 1: of the actors that I know are some of the

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Speaker 1: least free with themselves people I've ever met. I think

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Speaker 1: there are a lot of misconceptions about that. But I

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Speaker 1: also think there's a difference between being free with yourself

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Speaker 1: in the space that you're in where you can look

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Speaker 1: at every person in the room in the eye and

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Speaker 1: exist in your whole self in that moment when you're

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Speaker 1: recording the piece of work or on the stage and

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Speaker 1: you can look at the audience, or even at a

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Speaker 1: dinner party and you can look at everyone in the room.

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Speaker 1: There's a difference between that level of being an extrovert

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Speaker 1: and the level of being willing to take that extra

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Speaker 1: version and share it with millions of people or hundreds

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Speaker 1: of people. That's another level of bravery that I think

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Speaker 1: you almost have to be psychopathic not to be afraid of.

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Speaker 1: That's fair. I hadn't considered that, and I guess it's

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Speaker 1: almost a difference between doing things like this in person

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Speaker 1: and doing things like this over zoom. There's a bit

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Speaker 1: of control you lose between, you know, Like I guess

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Speaker 1: if you're doing something a stage production, even though there's

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Speaker 1: an audience out there and you don't know exactly who

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Speaker 1: they are, there's a bit of you feeling like you're

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Speaker 1: in control of what's happening to them, and the reactions

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Speaker 1: and things just go to air somewhere. You're like, You're like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, okay, yeah, right, the energy is different,

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Speaker 1: you like, you know, and like also I probably present

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Speaker 1: myself differently if we've done it in person, Like I

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Speaker 1: just jumped out of the pool and throw on a

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Speaker 1: feature and sat down to talk to you, you know,

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Speaker 1: which is different than you know, if I'd come into

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Speaker 1: your office, I would have like picked out the right

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Speaker 1: pair of genes, you know, and like my hair probably right. Well,

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Speaker 1: I like we're gett into a more real version. The

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Speaker 1: more the more authentic, They're all equally real, you know.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think that the idea of authenticity is

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Speaker 1: a very complicated idea, Like what is your authentic self? Is? It?

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Speaker 1: Is it when you prepare to meet people or when

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Speaker 1: you're unprepared, like when you're with your best friend or

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Speaker 1: with a complete stranger. Sometimes we're more ourselves with strangers

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Speaker 1: than we are with our family. And what does that

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Speaker 1: even mean? To be yourself? It really just means how

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Speaker 1: yourself are you being in that moment, right, Like any

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Speaker 1: self that you are will change from moment to moment.

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Speaker 1: I think for me, at least, it does. Absolutely. When

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Speaker 1: I was listening to your album, it feels like the

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Speaker 1: idea of identity comes up a bit totally. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think that's true. You think that in those years when

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Speaker 1: you leave the school system and you leave the family

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Speaker 1: system and you enter your independent system, whether you're twenty

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Speaker 1: six leaving grad school, or eighteen leaving high school, or

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Speaker 1: like I was nineteen leaving a first year of drama school,

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Speaker 1: and then you kind of hit the streets on your

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Speaker 1: own and you're living by yourself, and I think it's

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Speaker 1: a massive developmental moment for a person because you start

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Speaker 1: to realize who are you on your own? You know,

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Speaker 1: like it's the first one where you're really, for me,

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Speaker 1: at least, faced with the mirror reflection of like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: who have I become? And so? And this album was

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Speaker 1: written in those first three years that I was working

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Speaker 1: for the first time in the real business world and

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Speaker 1: living by myself for the first time, and having adult

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Speaker 1: relationships for the first time. And I think that, you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe in a narcissistic way, maybe not, all of those

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Speaker 1: experiences gave me moments to check in and look at

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Speaker 1: myself and say, Okay, wow, this is how I handled

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Speaker 1: X situation, This is how I handled why? Like interesting

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Speaker 1: that I have become this person? What person do I

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Speaker 1: want to be? How do I want to handle these differently?

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Speaker 1: How do I like? Do I like myself? Do I

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Speaker 1: like the way I handled that or not? And so

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Speaker 1: this album for me tracks a lot of those experiences,

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Speaker 1: So you're really taking account of you, of yourself, who

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Speaker 1: you are, I think. So yeah, I mean, I guess

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Speaker 1: I'm one of those kids who've been in therapy since

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Speaker 1: they were well over something, you know, So I generally

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Speaker 1: I'm self reflective to the point of it being a fault.

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Speaker 1: Like I think that people say to me all the

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Speaker 1: time where they go, well, I guess that sounds like

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Speaker 1: a complicated problem, but like it's amazing that you're so

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Speaker 1: self aware about it. And my response is I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm self aware. I know, I'm self aware. That doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean I can change anything. Like just because I know

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Speaker 1: why I'm doing the crazy thing that I'm doing, doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean I'm gonna stop. Like I'm still gonna keep doing

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Speaker 1: that crazy thing. Like I'm not in control. I just

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Speaker 1: know what's out of control. That said, it's good to

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Speaker 1: know it's good. It is not as good as you

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Speaker 1: would think it is. It doesn't get you as far

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Speaker 1: as even would want it to to. So you wrote this

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Speaker 1: three three years ago. You started, So we started three

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Speaker 1: years ago. I just turned nineteen about it, and then

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Speaker 1: I kind of wasn't planning on making a whole record.

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Speaker 1: I just sort of had gone to my friend Jesse,

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Speaker 1: who is who I wrote this album with, and asked

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Speaker 1: him for some advice on a song i'd written on

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Speaker 1: my first job in that i'd done in Ireland, and

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Speaker 1: he gave me some advice and I was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: look like, if you ever want to write a song together,

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Speaker 1: I would love to just let me know. And because

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Speaker 1: he co writes with a lot of people and there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, and he was like, great, cool,

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Speaker 1: how do you want to do it? I was like,

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Speaker 1: maybe I just I'll send you a poem, and so

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Speaker 1: I send him a poem that I'd written and he

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Speaker 1: put it to music and that ended up being to

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Speaker 1: Love a Boy, which was the first single that we

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Speaker 1: ever made together. And then we just kind of kept

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Speaker 1: doing that without really, at least on my end, without

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Speaker 1: there ever being a plan to make an album or

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Speaker 1: really even to play a show, or like, I just

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Speaker 1: was enjoying having a place to put my poems. So

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Speaker 1: then we just sort of kept kept plugging along and

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Speaker 1: collecting songs and eventually had enough to play a show,

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Speaker 1: and we played a show, and then we put out

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Speaker 1: those singles, and then we got some attention from a

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Speaker 1: label who wanted to ask us we had enough for

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Speaker 1: an album, and we were like, yes, we do. Here

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Speaker 1: they are, and that's sort of how we ended up here. Now,

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Speaker 1: what was your first show? My first show is at

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Speaker 1: Rockwood Music Hall. I think I did like a twelve

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Speaker 1: song set with the band that I still play with.

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Speaker 1: How was that experience terrifying? I've only done probably twelve

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Speaker 1: shows in my whole livelong life. It started out being

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Speaker 1: really fun because I had so much adrenaline about performing

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Speaker 1: and so much nerves that I was kind of almost

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Speaker 1: totally unaware of what was happening around me. Like I

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Speaker 1: just would kind of stumble on stage and be like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna sing these songs now, and then by the

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Speaker 1: time it was over, like I blinked and it was over.

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Speaker 1: But then the more I did, the more I was

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Speaker 1: able to actually relax on stage and become aware of

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Speaker 1: the mistakes that I was making, the places I wasn't

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Speaker 1: being myself. I'll return to using that phrase that we talked, like,

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Speaker 1: the place that I wasn't being the version of me

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Speaker 1: that I wanted to be. I often have a character

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Speaker 1: that I can fall into. I've had it ever since

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Speaker 1: I was in like ninth grade, which I call like

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Speaker 1: sultry Disney princess, Like I've become like a slightly like

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Speaker 1: drunk kind of like sexualized Cinderella or something, and it's

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Speaker 1: like kind of bubbly and like, oh, like I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: say something really inappropriate, but in a really sweet way

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Speaker 1: so you don't even notice. And I hate her, like

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Speaker 1: she's just my worst enemy. I hate her so much.

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Speaker 1: And I was doing that character a lot on stage,

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Speaker 1: and so the more shows I did, the more I

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Speaker 1: realized how I could grow and get better. And only

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Speaker 1: my last show I ever played before COVID happened, which

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Speaker 1: was at Joe's Pub, was a show where I was like, Okay, cool,

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Speaker 1: I can stand behind that performance, like I feel good

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Speaker 1: about how I did that night. When did music become

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Speaker 1: part of your life in a real way? Music was

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Speaker 1: always a part of my life, primarily through my father,

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Speaker 1: who was just like a big music fan, a big

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Speaker 1: kind of old fashioned country music fan, like not pop country,

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Speaker 1: but like the good old stuff, Johnny Cash and that

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Speaker 1: kind of thing, and he that was sort of always

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Speaker 1: on in our living room. And Willie Nelson and Neil

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Speaker 1: Young and Bob Dylan and those sort of like great

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Speaker 1: old folk guys Leonard Cohen. Um, that was kind of

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Speaker 1: like the language of what was playing in the house.

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Speaker 1: UM when I was a kid, and I really fell

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Speaker 1: in love with that primarily still like through the poetry.

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Speaker 1: Like what moved me the most about it was the

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Speaker 1: was the language. Lines would get stuck in my head

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Speaker 1: and I would focus on them, and even as a kid,

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Speaker 1: like write poems based on those lines. Wow, any particular

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Speaker 1: lines that you remembered. And still I loved this song, um,

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Speaker 1: the song The Redheaded Stranger from from Blue Rock, Montana

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Speaker 1: wrote into Town one day, Um, and he talks about

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Speaker 1: in that song there's um he's wild in his sorrow.

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Speaker 1: Um is one of the lines in the chorus, don't

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Speaker 1: cross him, don't boss him, He's wildest sorrow. And I

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Speaker 1: wrote a poem when I was a kid called wild

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Speaker 1: in my Sorrow. No one writes like Willie, No one

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Speaker 1: writes So that's just yeah, yeah, get goosebumps here in

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Speaker 1: a line. Yeah, even over zoom. It's like and you're like, oh, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's incredible. He's amazing and so and then my dad

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Speaker 1: also like is kind of a novice guitar player, as

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Speaker 1: am I UM and UM. We just kind of had

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Speaker 1: like jams sessions in the living room and we would

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Speaker 1: memorize songs together and sing them. We used to sing

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Speaker 1: Hungry Heart and this song called Blue Wing, and like

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Speaker 1: we just kind of had this sort of hoot nanny

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Speaker 1: like like you know, would you're surprise there wasn't a

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Speaker 1: harmonica in the mix, kind of guitar circle the two

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Speaker 1: of us in the living room when I was a kid,

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Speaker 1: So that was a big part of my upbringing. And then,

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Speaker 1: you know, my parents are divorced, and when, especially when

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Speaker 1: I was younger, when I'd have to spend a lot

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Speaker 1: of time away from my dad he'd go away to

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Speaker 1: work or something, he would give me these playlists. He

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Speaker 1: made me this playlist that ended up being actually featured

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Speaker 1: in a movie, to my great chagrin, which was like

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Speaker 1: a Beatles Black album playlist where he took songs from

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Speaker 1: every Beatle from after they had broken up and kind

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Speaker 1: of reconstructed a final Beatles album by combining them. And

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Speaker 1: he made me a playlist all of Dylan covers and

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Speaker 1: he'd like he would sort of mix it up, and

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Speaker 1: he made me all these great playlists to try to

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Speaker 1: teach me about music and Elvis playlist. So we went

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Speaker 1: on a road trip together to follow the life of

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Speaker 1: Elvis from like the first church that he was born

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Speaker 1: and where he got his first guitar. When was this,

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Speaker 1: I guess I was thirteen and you were into it

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Speaker 1: at thirteen, Like this wasn't like like you're forced along

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Speaker 1: anytime I got to spend with my dad. I was

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Speaker 1: into at thirteen. He mean, he's my hero. Um, A

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Speaker 1: few have a daughter. It's all all good, all goodness

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Speaker 1: coming up. She'll love you heart. And so we went

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Speaker 1: on this. Yeah, we went to where Elvis bought his

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Speaker 1: first guitar, and we went to the church that he

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Speaker 1: was born, and we went to Memphis and Sun Studios

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Speaker 1: in Nashville and then finally to Graceland. UM, so that

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Speaker 1: kind of I don't know, It's just always a part

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Speaker 1: of my life. I really considered myself, you know, a

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Speaker 1: fan more than anything else. And I still do. Like

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Speaker 1: I I'm not a great musician. I love to sing.

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Speaker 1: I sang my whole life. I was always inquired at

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Speaker 1: school and I love I love to sing, but I

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Speaker 1: don't I don't really know how to play an instrument

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Speaker 1: in any way that would impress anyone except like maybe

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Speaker 1: like a boy at a party one night or something

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Speaker 1: like I can vaguely that's useful. That's useful. Oh, trust me,

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Speaker 1: I milk it. But I milk those twelve chords. I

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Speaker 1: know to to heaven and back. But I love music

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Speaker 1: and I love writing poetry. And so the collaboration with

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Speaker 1: Jesse and getting to sort of like have access to

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Speaker 1: his brain and his amazing melodic thinking and that incredibly

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Speaker 1: sophisticated way in which he constructs melody, I feel like

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Speaker 1: we come together in a way that I really like

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Speaker 1: because it adds some roughness to his um sort of

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Speaker 1: like elegance, and he adds some elegance to my roughness.

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Speaker 1: We'll be right back with my Hawk. After a quick break,

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Speaker 1: we're back. Here's Maya Hawk and Jesse Harris performing her

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Speaker 1: song Generous Heart. Oftentimes you'll hear a song, a Neil

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Speaker 1: Young song, and it will sound like deeply personal, and

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Speaker 1: you'll find out, well, it was really about a character.

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Speaker 1: You know, he wasn't writing about himself. He was thinking

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Speaker 1: of someone else. I wasn't sure how much so that

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Speaker 1: was going on, But it seems like you're kind of

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Speaker 1: revealing yourself in this pretty public way with these songs. Yeah, Like, yes,

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Speaker 1: it is revealing. They are all the songs. When I

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Speaker 1: wrote them, at least felt extraordinarily personal. They now feel

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Speaker 1: more like characters to me, because the mood that I

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Speaker 1: was in when I wrote them doesn't feel like the

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Speaker 1: mood I'm in now. You know, if it was about

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Speaker 1: it was about a very powerful feeling or whatever that

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Speaker 1: I was having, then it's not a feeling that is

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Speaker 1: present in me. So in a lot of ways, when

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Speaker 1: I go to sing those songs again, it does feel

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Speaker 1: like a character I have to get back into the

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Speaker 1: Like for example, when I wrote Menace, I was feeling

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Speaker 1: tremendous shame over being an extrovert. I was feeling very

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Speaker 1: embarrassed about basically being a flirt. Like I was feeling

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Speaker 1: like I was in a relationship and like we were

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Speaker 1: just getting these constant fights about the way that I

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Speaker 1: would behave when I was out at a party or whatever,

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Speaker 1: and I really would make an effort to like make

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Speaker 1: everyone at the party feel good, and like I touch

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Speaker 1: people's shoulders a lot, and like I shared a lot

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Speaker 1: of myself with a lot of people, and I just

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Speaker 1: mean socially right, and we get we get into a

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Speaker 1: lot of fights about it because what he really wanted

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Speaker 1: from me in those scenarios was to like be on

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Speaker 1: his arm, and I was feeling really guilty about that.

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Speaker 1: I was like, fuck, like I'm a bad person, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm not being a good girlfriend. I'm I'm being a menace. Um.

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Speaker 1: And then you know that relationship ended and I now

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Speaker 1: sing that song and I'm like, what the frick was

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Speaker 1: I thinking? Like like I was being fine, like like

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Speaker 1: like like I don't need to spend all my energy

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Speaker 1: devoting to like coddling and eat, Like I can be

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Speaker 1: a social person and that's okay. How do you feel

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Speaker 1: when you sing it? Then? I mean beyond that, you

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Speaker 1: don't connect to the person, but in somewhere in your

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Speaker 1: head you know that you were that person. Does it?

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Speaker 1: Do you now feel almost ashamed to have been the

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Speaker 1: person who was embarrassed to be just an open person? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I mean I usually, like before I sing that song

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Speaker 1: in public, I usually tell some version of the story

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Speaker 1: that I just told you, which then makes me kind

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Speaker 1: of feel better about it. And I sort of sing

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Speaker 1: it from the from the point of view of a

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Speaker 1: person who's like kind of lying about not wanting to

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Speaker 1: be a menace anymore, and like I focus more on

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Speaker 1: the lyrics of the verses, do you mind singing a

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Speaker 1: verse from it? Let's see first. The first lyrics of

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Speaker 1: the verse are, turn my gaze away, relieve the impressions

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Speaker 1: that I've made, like rain in my creeping hand. I

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Speaker 1: want to behave. It's a small concession all my regressions

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Speaker 1: I don't understand, but it's painful old news and pales

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Speaker 1: in comparison to choosing you. So it's so like there's

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Speaker 1: a certain kind of accurate statement of fact in the verses.

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Speaker 1: In the chorus is I don't want to be a

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Speaker 1: menace anymore. And that's what I feel detached from right

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Speaker 1: like now I feel like, no, I do want to

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Speaker 1: be a menace. Actually I'm fine with that. But in

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Speaker 1: the verses, those are more sort of statements of fact

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Speaker 1: and feeling and things that happened and so that I

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Speaker 1: can kind of more attach to as a memory, versus

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Speaker 1: this claim of how I want to change is what

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00:18:01,676 --> 00:18:04,196
Speaker 1: feels more alien to me. It almost makes a song

356
00:18:04,276 --> 00:18:08,316
Speaker 1: cooler in no way, because it's now the course is ironic, Yes, yes,

357
00:18:08,476 --> 00:18:10,036
Speaker 1: exactly that's so I feel when I sing it now,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, this is an ironic chorus. But okay, I

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Speaker 1: like that a lot, because you know, you do sound

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Speaker 1: very sincere when you sing. It's like there's a certain

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Speaker 1: feeling I get listening to music that I get when

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Speaker 1: I listened to like a group, particularly like like The

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Speaker 1: Mamas and the Papa's Right. Oh yeah, I love that

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00:18:24,716 --> 00:18:28,556
Speaker 1: when you listen to that music, there's they're really sincere.

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Speaker 1: They really pour themselves into the music, you know, And

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Speaker 1: listening to your album felt a lot like that same

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Speaker 1: experience for me. There are jokes all over the album,

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Speaker 1: but from like at least as a listener. I love

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Speaker 1: it when I'm listening to a song and I hear

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Speaker 1: the joke, but I feel like I'm the only one

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Speaker 1: who gets it, like if the maybe I take this

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Speaker 1: from acting a little bit, like when some actors will

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Speaker 1: wink at you while they're acting and they're like, this

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00:18:56,916 --> 00:19:00,036
Speaker 1: is acting. You know, They're like they're like that was

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00:19:00,076 --> 00:19:03,156
Speaker 1: a joke, this is acting, and they're like, I'm actually

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Speaker 1: a movie star, and you know, like there's a kind

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00:19:06,956 --> 00:19:09,396
Speaker 1: of like a kind of like wink about it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And so I like it to hide the jokes and

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Speaker 1: hide the irony in total sincerity, so that if there

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Speaker 1: is that one person who listens to it twenty times,

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Speaker 1: they're like, oh my god, she doesn't mean that line,

382
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Speaker 1: or like that line is actually a slam of that person,

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Speaker 1: Like she's singing it like it's a compliment, but it's

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Speaker 1: actually as total disc like cool. Do you either a

385
00:19:28,116 --> 00:19:30,596
Speaker 1: couple of jokes or winks you can? You can let

386
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:32,436
Speaker 1: us in on it. There are let me see if

387
00:19:32,476 --> 00:19:36,356
Speaker 1: I can think of them. They're all over um the

388
00:19:36,436 --> 00:19:40,316
Speaker 1: last song Mirth. The middle verse of Mirth is, um,

389
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Speaker 1: I've got a problem I think he could fix. He

390
00:19:43,556 --> 00:19:46,996
Speaker 1: seems to undo all my usual tricks, But the marks

391
00:19:46,996 --> 00:19:49,156
Speaker 1: on his belly and the lines on his face shadow

392
00:19:49,196 --> 00:19:51,956
Speaker 1: his softness and romantic grace. That whole song is sort

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Speaker 1: of secretly about there's two songs on the record that

394
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Speaker 1: this is an adult podcast. Yes, yes, okay, so the

395
00:20:00,676 --> 00:20:02,436
Speaker 1: two songs on the record that are kind of secretly

396
00:20:02,436 --> 00:20:08,036
Speaker 1: about not being able to orgasm and um, and I

397
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:10,156
Speaker 1: never would have guessed that it's the first and last

398
00:20:10,156 --> 00:20:16,716
Speaker 1: song m like the last lines of Generous Heart, I

399
00:20:16,756 --> 00:20:18,676
Speaker 1: know it's my fault. I need to lie dead to

400
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,916
Speaker 1: find a cascade towards something but dread. And that's secretly

401
00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:23,836
Speaker 1: about that. But I wouldn't want anyone to know or

402
00:20:23,916 --> 00:20:25,676
Speaker 1: find out. But to me, that's what it's about. And

403
00:20:25,716 --> 00:20:28,916
Speaker 1: so inside I'm winking and laughing. Well, only people are

404
00:20:28,916 --> 00:20:32,596
Speaker 1: listening to this. Yeah, I never would have got it.

405
00:20:32,676 --> 00:20:35,516
Speaker 1: That's your inside scool. Yeah, there we go, running with it.

406
00:20:37,476 --> 00:20:40,236
Speaker 1: Let's talk about so long a little bit. Um. I

407
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Speaker 1: love this sort of dissonant sound of this cool song.

408
00:20:43,556 --> 00:20:45,876
Speaker 1: I guess where does this song come from? I really

409
00:20:45,876 --> 00:20:48,356
Speaker 1: like this one a lot. This song is basically about

410
00:20:48,476 --> 00:20:51,116
Speaker 1: the idea that, like, if you have like a crush

411
00:20:51,196 --> 00:20:53,596
Speaker 1: that you've met a couple times or whatever, you can

412
00:20:53,596 --> 00:20:56,516
Speaker 1: start to think about them so much that they become

413
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Speaker 1: a character in your life that is different than the

414
00:20:59,836 --> 00:21:01,556
Speaker 1: person that they are. I mean, it's also happen. This

415
00:21:01,596 --> 00:21:03,636
Speaker 1: thing also happened a million different relationships. It can happen

416
00:21:03,636 --> 00:21:06,756
Speaker 1: in a professional relationship, whatever. But if you focus on somebody,

417
00:21:07,276 --> 00:21:09,836
Speaker 1: anyone really in your life, and you spend a lot

418
00:21:09,876 --> 00:21:12,716
Speaker 1: of your time alone thinking about them, they become this

419
00:21:12,796 --> 00:21:16,556
Speaker 1: other person, this sort of ghost character in your life

420
00:21:16,796 --> 00:21:19,276
Speaker 1: that is totally separate from the person that they actually

421
00:21:19,316 --> 00:21:21,916
Speaker 1: are my favorite lyrics in the song are all in

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Speaker 1: those pre choruses, and the first one is I'm not

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00:21:23,996 --> 00:21:25,916
Speaker 1: a coward. I'm just afraid of all of the things

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00:21:25,956 --> 00:21:29,316
Speaker 1: that I am, or of how quickly tomorrow coutunity yesterday?

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Speaker 1: And I know that doesn't you said these were written

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00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:36,916
Speaker 1: long before this year, but I think those blinds stuck

427
00:21:36,916 --> 00:21:38,876
Speaker 1: out to me, particularly the pre course, because I think

428
00:21:38,916 --> 00:21:41,756
Speaker 1: I feel that way so much about our future moving.

429
00:21:41,956 --> 00:21:43,476
Speaker 1: You know, like and I know has nothing to do

430
00:21:43,516 --> 00:21:48,156
Speaker 1: with society or politics, or I mean, I mean like

431
00:21:48,196 --> 00:21:50,396
Speaker 1: everything has to do with society and politics. I mean

432
00:21:50,396 --> 00:21:53,276
Speaker 1: all of our interpersonal relationships, all of our are all

433
00:21:53,756 --> 00:21:55,756
Speaker 1: interacting with the world. I mean, if you think that

434
00:21:55,796 --> 00:21:58,796
Speaker 1: you can exist outside of society and politics, or outside

435
00:21:58,796 --> 00:22:01,516
Speaker 1: of the world even in your interpersonal relationships and feelings,

436
00:22:01,916 --> 00:22:05,116
Speaker 1: you're sort of delusional. I think, for Co would definitely

437
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:09,956
Speaker 1: agree with you. Yeah, but how our tomorrow concerned you yesterday?

438
00:22:09,956 --> 00:22:12,316
Speaker 1: I think what I meant when I initially wrote that

439
00:22:12,356 --> 00:22:16,516
Speaker 1: line was that, you know, the idea of something is

440
00:22:16,556 --> 00:22:19,396
Speaker 1: so much is often so much shinier than the reality.

441
00:22:19,716 --> 00:22:22,556
Speaker 1: Sometimes it isn't, and that is amazing when that happens,

442
00:22:22,876 --> 00:22:25,316
Speaker 1: When the reality of something is even bigger and brighter

443
00:22:25,356 --> 00:22:27,876
Speaker 1: and more beautiful than the idea of it, but so

444
00:22:28,156 --> 00:22:33,196
Speaker 1: often it isn't, and the fantasy is so much kind

445
00:22:33,196 --> 00:22:36,396
Speaker 1: of more alive in you than the reality would be. Right.

446
00:22:36,796 --> 00:22:38,556
Speaker 1: But I think that that kind of can connect to

447
00:22:38,556 --> 00:22:40,756
Speaker 1: now in two ways, which is one like we're also

448
00:22:40,876 --> 00:22:43,036
Speaker 1: afraid of what's going to happen and that it will

449
00:22:43,076 --> 00:22:45,636
Speaker 1: be terrible, and like probably and maybe it won't be

450
00:22:45,676 --> 00:22:47,996
Speaker 1: so terrible, like maybe things will end up okay. I

451
00:22:47,996 --> 00:22:50,716
Speaker 1: don't know, or we end up putting away all our

452
00:22:50,756 --> 00:22:53,316
Speaker 1: fears and just being blindly optimistic and being like everything's

453
00:22:53,316 --> 00:22:55,996
Speaker 1: going to be okay, and that fantasy is so much

454
00:22:56,036 --> 00:22:59,276
Speaker 1: brighter than what will really happen. Probably. Yeah, I was

455
00:22:59,316 --> 00:23:02,476
Speaker 1: realizing too, the line I cannot hide my cards, can't

456
00:23:02,876 --> 00:23:06,076
Speaker 1: even keep them close that struck me, And then two

457
00:23:06,116 --> 00:23:09,356
Speaker 1: songs later coverage, Here's where I put my trust. If

458
00:23:09,356 --> 00:23:11,396
Speaker 1: you tell a lie enough, you can't pick it from

459
00:23:11,396 --> 00:23:15,316
Speaker 1: the truth. It's been of tremendous use. Yes, as you's

460
00:23:15,316 --> 00:23:17,996
Speaker 1: almost saying two different things about if they're in fact

461
00:23:17,996 --> 00:23:20,636
Speaker 1: about you. It's like there's these two different versions of you.

462
00:23:20,676 --> 00:23:24,796
Speaker 1: There's you you cannot help but show you can you

463
00:23:24,996 --> 00:23:27,476
Speaker 1: can't expose yourself, and then there's a party that's like, well,

464
00:23:27,476 --> 00:23:29,516
Speaker 1: I'm not really given too much of myself. I mean,

465
00:23:29,516 --> 00:23:31,796
Speaker 1: I think that's a wonderful observation, and I think that

466
00:23:31,796 --> 00:23:34,276
Speaker 1: that's really true. And that kind of plays into what

467
00:23:34,316 --> 00:23:36,716
Speaker 1: I was talking about about how each song, though there

468
00:23:36,796 --> 00:23:40,756
Speaker 1: were all pretty much written very personally, are different characters

469
00:23:40,996 --> 00:23:43,196
Speaker 1: because of the different moods and changes that I went

470
00:23:43,196 --> 00:23:45,476
Speaker 1: through while I was writing them. In life, like if

471
00:23:45,476 --> 00:23:48,756
Speaker 1: I'm at a dinner or whatever, everyone would know what

472
00:23:48,796 --> 00:23:51,116
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about when anyone is saying, Like all my

473
00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:54,476
Speaker 1: thoughts are written right across my face. Like if I

474
00:23:54,476 --> 00:23:56,916
Speaker 1: think someone saying anything stupid, it'll I'll make like I

475
00:23:56,956 --> 00:23:59,996
Speaker 1: just I can't control my face. So that's kind of

476
00:23:59,996 --> 00:24:01,796
Speaker 1: what I cannot have my cards dear, can't even give

477
00:24:01,836 --> 00:24:04,196
Speaker 1: them close sort of means is that if you get

478
00:24:04,196 --> 00:24:07,116
Speaker 1: me in the moment, I'm a terrible liar and I'm

479
00:24:07,156 --> 00:24:11,356
Speaker 1: totally responsive to whatever is happening. The scenario that line

480
00:24:11,396 --> 00:24:15,396
Speaker 1: and coverage is sort of about like how I do

481
00:24:15,556 --> 00:24:19,876
Speaker 1: like with memory and stuff. I have constructed memories for

482
00:24:19,956 --> 00:24:25,116
Speaker 1: myself that are totally false based on just repeating them

483
00:24:25,116 --> 00:24:27,996
Speaker 1: in my head and picturing them, like my parents got

484
00:24:27,996 --> 00:24:29,476
Speaker 1: divorced when I was pretty young, and when I was

485
00:24:29,476 --> 00:24:31,916
Speaker 1: a kid, I spent so much time sort of trying

486
00:24:31,916 --> 00:24:34,076
Speaker 1: to remember and hold on to the moments in which

487
00:24:34,076 --> 00:24:38,156
Speaker 1: they were together, that I have fully invented visual memories

488
00:24:38,636 --> 00:24:41,716
Speaker 1: of times that we're together that didn't happen. And I

489
00:24:41,796 --> 00:24:44,116
Speaker 1: believe in somewhat in the way that I believe in acting,

490
00:24:44,476 --> 00:24:46,956
Speaker 1: I believe that that is possible. I believe that like

491
00:24:47,036 --> 00:24:50,836
Speaker 1: reality is totally fragmented and exist in your head, and

492
00:24:50,876 --> 00:24:55,116
Speaker 1: you can create alternate realities for yourself, alternate consciousnesses for

493
00:24:55,196 --> 00:24:58,396
Speaker 1: yourself if you lie to yourself enough, and that as

494
00:24:58,396 --> 00:25:00,636
Speaker 1: a tool that can be used to tremendous good and

495
00:25:00,796 --> 00:25:05,116
Speaker 1: tremendous harm. And so I think both things like it's

496
00:25:05,116 --> 00:25:09,076
Speaker 1: a good catch. Those are very contrasting forces in my life.

497
00:25:09,996 --> 00:25:12,396
Speaker 1: We'll be back with more of my conversation with Maya Hawk,

498
00:25:12,836 --> 00:25:15,196
Speaker 1: but before we break, let's hear her play an acoustic

499
00:25:15,276 --> 00:25:23,996
Speaker 1: version of her song So Long. We're back with Maya Hawk.

500
00:25:24,316 --> 00:25:26,756
Speaker 1: Before we hear the rest of our conversation, let's listen

501
00:25:26,756 --> 00:25:29,436
Speaker 1: to the gorgeous song she wrote about her relationship with

502
00:25:29,476 --> 00:25:33,236
Speaker 1: her dad, Ethan Hawk. Here's Goodbye rocket Ship from Maya's

503
00:25:33,236 --> 00:25:37,916
Speaker 1: album Blush. There's moments of the album that are more

504
00:25:37,956 --> 00:25:40,236
Speaker 1: quiet and it's just you in a guitar, and then

505
00:25:40,236 --> 00:25:43,996
Speaker 1: there's moments where there's much more going into the song.

506
00:25:44,076 --> 00:25:46,316
Speaker 1: You know, there's there's the fault, you have a full

507
00:25:46,356 --> 00:25:48,556
Speaker 1: band behind you. You know. Yeah, it sounds like you

508
00:25:48,556 --> 00:25:51,236
Speaker 1: could have gone and kept the whole album acoustic. Was

509
00:25:51,276 --> 00:25:53,876
Speaker 1: there a reason? Did certain songs feel like they needed

510
00:25:54,236 --> 00:25:56,356
Speaker 1: something more to you? Or what did you? What did

511
00:25:56,356 --> 00:25:57,996
Speaker 1: you and Jesse decide on that? Like? How did that

512
00:25:58,036 --> 00:26:01,156
Speaker 1: come for me? It was again, like more about play

513
00:26:01,276 --> 00:26:04,436
Speaker 1: and experimentation than it was about the intention of making

514
00:26:04,476 --> 00:26:07,556
Speaker 1: an album, Like if I do this again, I think

515
00:26:07,596 --> 00:26:11,436
Speaker 1: I will Corey your graph much more sort of like

516
00:26:11,716 --> 00:26:14,636
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to do with the album sonically. Most

517
00:26:14,676 --> 00:26:17,916
Speaker 1: of the songs were recorded individually on this record, and

518
00:26:17,956 --> 00:26:20,836
Speaker 1: like also it was like we wrote we did Animal

519
00:26:20,916 --> 00:26:23,356
Speaker 1: Enough after we'd played a couple of shows and I

520
00:26:23,436 --> 00:26:24,716
Speaker 1: left this when I was like, I wish there was

521
00:26:24,716 --> 00:26:27,116
Speaker 1: a moment in our set where we could sing a

522
00:26:27,156 --> 00:26:29,276
Speaker 1: song that like would make people feel excited about the

523
00:26:29,316 --> 00:26:31,516
Speaker 1: fact that they have to stand, you know, like all

524
00:26:31,516 --> 00:26:33,596
Speaker 1: these songs I feel like you'd want to sit and

525
00:26:33,636 --> 00:26:36,076
Speaker 1: listen to these songs, and I want a song to

526
00:26:36,116 --> 00:26:38,156
Speaker 1: play in the middle of the show that makes everyone

527
00:26:38,196 --> 00:26:39,916
Speaker 1: want to stand up? Can we make one like that?

528
00:26:40,196 --> 00:26:42,676
Speaker 1: And as it was like sure, So it seems like

529
00:26:42,676 --> 00:26:44,716
Speaker 1: it's something you're really more and more getting into and

530
00:26:44,756 --> 00:26:47,396
Speaker 1: evolving yourself in. Does it feel like something you want?

531
00:26:47,476 --> 00:26:50,796
Speaker 1: I mean, is there a goal now? Yeah? I think

532
00:26:50,836 --> 00:26:54,716
Speaker 1: I definitely, like learned so much about music production and

533
00:26:54,796 --> 00:26:57,876
Speaker 1: music through this process, and I'm really excited to sort

534
00:26:57,876 --> 00:27:02,716
Speaker 1: of like take that information and go into another situation

535
00:27:02,756 --> 00:27:05,916
Speaker 1: and make something else. I'm excited to, like, rather than

536
00:27:05,956 --> 00:27:09,436
Speaker 1: doing an album kind of piecemeal the most as find

537
00:27:09,516 --> 00:27:12,276
Speaker 1: usual experience as I've had to have been like rehearsing

538
00:27:12,276 --> 00:27:14,356
Speaker 1: a set a bunch of times and then performing it

539
00:27:14,396 --> 00:27:17,196
Speaker 1: for people. And I would love to treat an album

540
00:27:17,276 --> 00:27:19,956
Speaker 1: like that. I would love to get a band together

541
00:27:19,996 --> 00:27:22,876
Speaker 1: and rehearse a set and then record the set. And

542
00:27:22,956 --> 00:27:24,956
Speaker 1: that doesn't necessarily mean like live like happy to do

543
00:27:24,996 --> 00:27:29,076
Speaker 1: overdubs and add things in, but to have this feeling like, oh,

544
00:27:29,116 --> 00:27:32,036
Speaker 1: we were constructing a whole experience from beginning to end,

545
00:27:32,116 --> 00:27:33,836
Speaker 1: and that was a part of it. In its performance

546
00:27:33,876 --> 00:27:37,316
Speaker 1: and in its creation rather than sort of a piecemeal collection.

547
00:27:37,836 --> 00:27:40,076
Speaker 1: In the beginning, there was a moment where I sort

548
00:27:40,116 --> 00:27:42,676
Speaker 1: of really tried to simplify the way that I write,

549
00:27:43,156 --> 00:27:46,316
Speaker 1: to kind of make kind of simpler songs. I was

550
00:27:46,356 --> 00:27:50,716
Speaker 1: sort of pairing myself back, like not in a bad way,

551
00:27:50,396 --> 00:27:52,156
Speaker 1: and like I was just I was really looking for

552
00:27:52,196 --> 00:27:56,316
Speaker 1: the most essential words, most essential feelings and really trying

553
00:27:56,356 --> 00:27:58,676
Speaker 1: to pair down. And then the stuff that I'm working

554
00:27:58,676 --> 00:28:01,556
Speaker 1: on now, I'm kind of letting myself pair back up,

555
00:28:01,996 --> 00:28:04,036
Speaker 1: like now that my information, like now that I'm thinking

556
00:28:04,076 --> 00:28:05,636
Speaker 1: about things in a different way and I know more,

557
00:28:06,196 --> 00:28:09,356
Speaker 1: I'm letting myself be sillier and like write songs other

558
00:28:09,356 --> 00:28:13,156
Speaker 1: people's perspectives and use sort of more poetically ambitious language

559
00:28:13,196 --> 00:28:16,556
Speaker 1: and add more jokes and be more silly. As you're

560
00:28:16,596 --> 00:28:18,356
Speaker 1: writing now, and I know you're saying you can feel

561
00:28:18,356 --> 00:28:20,156
Speaker 1: you can be more free, for you to do more,

562
00:28:20,196 --> 00:28:23,036
Speaker 1: for you to do less. What is your writing looking like? Now?

563
00:28:23,116 --> 00:28:26,436
Speaker 1: Do the songs feel any different? Yeah, they feel really

564
00:28:26,436 --> 00:28:29,396
Speaker 1: different to me. A lot of these songs on this

565
00:28:29,516 --> 00:28:33,236
Speaker 1: first album feel very developmental to me. And there are

566
00:28:33,236 --> 00:28:35,756
Speaker 1: also a lot of love songs on this album and

567
00:28:36,756 --> 00:28:39,916
Speaker 1: a lot of the stuff I've been writing now is

568
00:28:40,036 --> 00:28:43,756
Speaker 1: less that I wrote a song about about reputation and

569
00:28:43,876 --> 00:28:46,596
Speaker 1: acting in celebrity I've written I wrote a song about

570
00:28:46,756 --> 00:28:50,516
Speaker 1: one of my favorite authors. So I've kind of started

571
00:28:50,556 --> 00:28:54,676
Speaker 1: to do more to play more in the material that

572
00:28:54,796 --> 00:28:56,876
Speaker 1: is interesting to me. And I think that just makes

573
00:28:56,876 --> 00:28:58,716
Speaker 1: a lot of sense. I mean, like the ages between

574
00:28:59,556 --> 00:29:03,036
Speaker 1: nineteen and twenty one are very love focused years, and

575
00:29:03,076 --> 00:29:05,316
Speaker 1: even like using different tools to really write about the

576
00:29:05,356 --> 00:29:08,036
Speaker 1: same thing, Like yes, the song I wrote recently about

577
00:29:08,036 --> 00:29:09,836
Speaker 1: my favorite author is about my third author, but it

578
00:29:09,876 --> 00:29:12,036
Speaker 1: is also not like it's also sort of using that

579
00:29:12,076 --> 00:29:14,956
Speaker 1: as a device to talk about this person in the

580
00:29:14,996 --> 00:29:16,716
Speaker 1: way that they behave and how they remind me of

581
00:29:16,996 --> 00:29:20,036
Speaker 1: each other, you know. And I love how self aware

582
00:29:20,036 --> 00:29:22,476
Speaker 1: you are of like you know, particularly your age. You know,

583
00:29:23,316 --> 00:29:24,796
Speaker 1: I don't know that I was that self aware at

584
00:29:24,796 --> 00:29:28,236
Speaker 1: that time. Listening to your music, listening to your album,

585
00:29:28,276 --> 00:29:30,196
Speaker 1: I had a lot of the same feelings with surface

586
00:29:30,236 --> 00:29:32,156
Speaker 1: that I felt like I had ten years ago when

587
00:29:32,156 --> 00:29:35,116
Speaker 1: I was twenty twenty one. I think that's a really

588
00:29:35,116 --> 00:29:37,196
Speaker 1: great thing about music, is that music can make you

589
00:29:37,276 --> 00:29:39,516
Speaker 1: do that. And I think it's a really cool thing

590
00:29:39,516 --> 00:29:41,636
Speaker 1: that you did to be self aware enough to sort

591
00:29:41,676 --> 00:29:46,156
Speaker 1: of not try to write beyond where you are, sort of, yeah,

592
00:29:46,236 --> 00:29:48,476
Speaker 1: you just gotta be where you are. And that's still

593
00:29:48,476 --> 00:29:49,956
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to do now, is just sort of

594
00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:51,716
Speaker 1: be where I am. It's like where I am happens

595
00:29:51,756 --> 00:29:54,756
Speaker 1: to be, like in quarantine, spending a lot of time

596
00:29:54,796 --> 00:29:56,996
Speaker 1: online with the news, and a lot of time reading books,

597
00:29:57,116 --> 00:29:59,356
Speaker 1: and a lot of time like talking to my friends

598
00:29:59,396 --> 00:30:02,156
Speaker 1: on the phone, and and so I think it's just

599
00:30:02,236 --> 00:30:05,516
Speaker 1: all about being president in your current circumstance, writing as

600
00:30:05,516 --> 00:30:08,796
Speaker 1: honestly as you possibly can from the most potent version

601
00:30:08,796 --> 00:30:11,276
Speaker 1: of the feeling that you're having now, with an understanding

602
00:30:11,316 --> 00:30:14,956
Speaker 1: that feeling will fade and change, and not trying to

603
00:30:14,996 --> 00:30:19,356
Speaker 1: like encapsulate your entire person in one song, and also

604
00:30:19,876 --> 00:30:22,236
Speaker 1: not trying to run away from who you are in

605
00:30:22,236 --> 00:30:26,876
Speaker 1: the songs either. So much of your early musical development

606
00:30:27,036 --> 00:30:29,636
Speaker 1: was attached to family events, going on these road trips

607
00:30:29,636 --> 00:30:31,796
Speaker 1: with your family and just your dad making you these

608
00:30:31,836 --> 00:30:35,956
Speaker 1: great mixtapes. Was it fun to finally share any of

609
00:30:35,956 --> 00:30:37,676
Speaker 1: your music with your with your parents, with your dad

610
00:30:37,716 --> 00:30:40,236
Speaker 1: or your mom? It was? It's really fun, I mean

611
00:30:40,396 --> 00:30:43,716
Speaker 1: in the simplest way, like as a kid, I'm incredibly

612
00:30:43,716 --> 00:30:46,876
Speaker 1: proud to have done something and finished it, like you know,

613
00:30:46,876 --> 00:30:49,116
Speaker 1: I mean it's as simple as that, like to have

614
00:30:49,196 --> 00:30:52,636
Speaker 1: started a project and completed it and get to be like, look,

615
00:30:52,676 --> 00:30:55,316
Speaker 1: I made the thing. You can have it now like here,

616
00:30:55,356 --> 00:30:58,276
Speaker 1: Like uh, you know, it's like bringing your homework in

617
00:30:58,356 --> 00:31:00,756
Speaker 1: from school or you know, there's almost something dorky and

618
00:31:00,836 --> 00:31:02,916
Speaker 1: simple about that too, you know, just to sort of

619
00:31:03,396 --> 00:31:05,956
Speaker 1: be proud of having accomplished something and get to share

620
00:31:05,996 --> 00:31:09,156
Speaker 1: that with your family, and that's really special. And I

621
00:31:09,156 --> 00:31:10,956
Speaker 1: mean there's one song on the record that was that's

622
00:31:10,956 --> 00:31:14,476
Speaker 1: about my dad, the second to last song, and that

623
00:31:14,556 --> 00:31:16,996
Speaker 1: was an incredibly powerful experience to get to share that

624
00:31:17,036 --> 00:31:19,916
Speaker 1: song with him, because he and I had been sort

625
00:31:19,916 --> 00:31:21,556
Speaker 1: of fighting a lot and having a lot of different

626
00:31:21,556 --> 00:31:23,596
Speaker 1: conversations where you know, when you end up kind of

627
00:31:23,596 --> 00:31:25,636
Speaker 1: in the same fight with people and you keep you

628
00:31:25,676 --> 00:31:27,916
Speaker 1: say sort of like more and more horrible things that

629
00:31:27,996 --> 00:31:30,436
Speaker 1: you don't mean, just to sort of like try to

630
00:31:30,516 --> 00:31:32,196
Speaker 1: get to the core of whatever the feeling is that

631
00:31:32,316 --> 00:31:34,236
Speaker 1: keeps not going away, and you're like, well, if the

632
00:31:34,236 --> 00:31:36,156
Speaker 1: feeling still isn't going away, I guess him to like

633
00:31:36,196 --> 00:31:39,596
Speaker 1: do the worst, yea, Yeah, And so we're kind of

634
00:31:39,716 --> 00:31:41,036
Speaker 1: having the same fight over and over again. And then

635
00:31:41,036 --> 00:31:44,036
Speaker 1: I wrote this song and I've played it for him,

636
00:31:44,156 --> 00:31:48,836
Speaker 1: and and it was like I finally had said the

637
00:31:48,876 --> 00:31:50,956
Speaker 1: thing that I was trying to say a million times

638
00:31:51,516 --> 00:31:55,076
Speaker 1: in the kindest way and in like the truest way,

639
00:31:55,156 --> 00:31:57,076
Speaker 1: and in a way that because my father is an

640
00:31:57,156 --> 00:31:59,836
Speaker 1: artist and a writer, like a way he could really hear.

641
00:32:00,196 --> 00:32:02,076
Speaker 1: Like And that's what music has sort of always been

642
00:32:02,076 --> 00:32:04,236
Speaker 1: for me, is actually a way to present feelings to

643
00:32:04,276 --> 00:32:06,276
Speaker 1: people in a way that they can really hear. And

644
00:32:06,316 --> 00:32:08,876
Speaker 1: I think people often can listen better to art than

645
00:32:08,916 --> 00:32:10,756
Speaker 1: they can listen to words coming out of the mouth

646
00:32:10,756 --> 00:32:14,956
Speaker 1: of someone they love. So that experience of getting to

647
00:32:15,076 --> 00:32:17,596
Speaker 1: use music as a tool for communication in that way

648
00:32:17,916 --> 00:32:20,876
Speaker 1: and share it with my dad, who sort of created

649
00:32:20,916 --> 00:32:23,796
Speaker 1: my relationship to music, was a very powerful and positive one.

650
00:32:24,036 --> 00:32:26,196
Speaker 1: Did you preface to sharing that song with him as

651
00:32:26,356 --> 00:32:28,796
Speaker 1: this is sort of about you, or this is I've

652
00:32:28,836 --> 00:32:30,516
Speaker 1: tried to work out sort of how I'm feeling, or

653
00:32:30,516 --> 00:32:32,156
Speaker 1: did you just let him? I was sort of like,

654
00:32:32,676 --> 00:32:35,596
Speaker 1: I just let him. It's so obvious. I mean, within

655
00:32:35,636 --> 00:32:38,396
Speaker 1: our relationship, he would know from the fifth line. I

656
00:32:38,396 --> 00:32:41,236
Speaker 1: don't think I prefaced it there. Even there's a line

657
00:32:41,316 --> 00:32:43,676
Speaker 1: in the song that I stole from a song I

658
00:32:43,716 --> 00:32:46,556
Speaker 1: wrote when I was fourteen to him when I was like,

659
00:32:46,556 --> 00:32:48,196
Speaker 1: when I was fourteen, I wrote a song. I'd gotten

660
00:32:48,236 --> 00:32:50,516
Speaker 1: in trouble for lying, and I wrote a song to

661
00:32:50,556 --> 00:32:52,236
Speaker 1: sort of trying to get out of trouble. And the

662
00:32:52,356 --> 00:32:53,716
Speaker 1: chorus of the song was, you don't know how to

663
00:32:53,796 --> 00:32:55,396
Speaker 1: raise me anymore than I know how to grow up.

664
00:32:55,756 --> 00:32:58,756
Speaker 1: And that's a that's an indictment. My god, that's an indictment.

665
00:32:59,036 --> 00:33:01,196
Speaker 1: I know. So I took that line and I put

666
00:33:01,236 --> 00:33:04,716
Speaker 1: it into this new song. So he knew pretty quickly,

667
00:33:05,716 --> 00:33:08,156
Speaker 1: and it was the reaction. Did it feel like a

668
00:33:08,236 --> 00:33:11,116
Speaker 1: positive reaction? Yeah, I think it was very cathartic for

669
00:33:11,156 --> 00:33:14,956
Speaker 1: both of us. You know that's great. Cool. Do you mind?

670
00:33:14,996 --> 00:33:16,596
Speaker 1: Do you mind just singing like a line or two

671
00:33:16,596 --> 00:33:21,836
Speaker 1: of that song? Yeah? I do. You tell me like,

672
00:33:22,116 --> 00:33:27,516
Speaker 1: it's my idea. I came down to find you, pretend

673
00:33:27,716 --> 00:33:32,636
Speaker 1: that you're here, and I never could replace you. It's

674
00:33:32,716 --> 00:33:37,396
Speaker 1: too dark to try. But I look for our memories

675
00:33:37,476 --> 00:33:41,316
Speaker 1: and their clothing and their eyes. You didn't know, And

676
00:33:41,396 --> 00:33:45,356
Speaker 1: that's the first verse. It's beautiful. Thank you well, thanks

677
00:33:45,356 --> 00:33:48,076
Speaker 1: for taking the time to get out of the pool

678
00:33:48,116 --> 00:33:50,316
Speaker 1: and talk with them. Of course, any time. I always

679
00:33:50,316 --> 00:33:52,036
Speaker 1: happy to get out of the pool. Thank you for

680
00:33:52,076 --> 00:33:53,796
Speaker 1: being so kind, Thank you for listening to the record.

681
00:33:54,316 --> 00:33:57,276
Speaker 1: Is incredibly respectful and kind to do such a thing,

682
00:33:57,316 --> 00:34:00,236
Speaker 1: and I really don't take it lightly, that sort of

683
00:34:00,276 --> 00:34:02,716
Speaker 1: time and energy, and I appreciate you spending it on

684
00:34:02,756 --> 00:34:05,076
Speaker 1: my record, and I thank you for wanting to talk

685
00:34:05,076 --> 00:34:09,756
Speaker 1: to me. Thanks to my hot for aring so much

686
00:34:09,756 --> 00:34:12,156
Speaker 1: of her life and inspiration with us. You can hear

687
00:34:12,236 --> 00:34:14,956
Speaker 1: Mayahawk's album Blush by checking out our playlist at Broken

688
00:34:14,956 --> 00:34:18,076
Speaker 1: Record podcast dot com, and be sure to subscribe to

689
00:34:18,116 --> 00:34:21,636
Speaker 1: our YouTube channel at YouTube dot com slash broken Record Podcast.

690
00:34:21,956 --> 00:34:24,596
Speaker 1: We can find extended cuts of past episodes and also

691
00:34:24,676 --> 00:34:28,356
Speaker 1: new ones. Broken Record is produced with help from Leah Rose,

692
00:34:28,556 --> 00:34:33,236
Speaker 1: Jason Gambrel, Martin Gonzalez, Eric Sandler and his executive produced

693
00:34:33,236 --> 00:34:36,596
Speaker 1: by Neil LaBelle. Our theme musics by Kenny Beats. Broken

694
00:34:36,596 --> 00:34:39,516
Speaker 1: Record is a production of Pushkin Industries, and if you

695
00:34:39,556 --> 00:34:42,596
Speaker 1: like Broken Record, please remember to share, rate, and review

696
00:34:42,596 --> 00:34:45,996
Speaker 1: our show on your podcast app. I'm justin Richmond, Peace