1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:05,200 Speaker 1: Look at Our Radio is a radio phonic novela, which 2 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,719 Speaker 1: is just a very extra way of saying a podcast. 3 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: I'm Theos f M and I am malays. Local Radio 4 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 1: is your free, must favorite podcast hosted by us Mala 5 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 1: and Theosa, where two I G friends turned podcast partners, 6 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:26,640 Speaker 1: breaking down pop culture, feminism, sexual wellness, and offering fresh 7 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: takes on strending topics through nuanced interviews with up and 8 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:34,880 Speaker 1: coming Latin Next creatives known as Las Locals, Las Mammy 9 00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: Submit and Bullshits next Door and Lasses. We've been podcasting 10 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:46,320 Speaker 1: independently since and we're bringing our radiophonic novela to the 11 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: Miculcura Network to continue sharing stories from the Latin Next community. 12 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:55,880 Speaker 1: Welcome to Local Radio Season seven, Take us to your network, 13 00:00:57,040 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: Ola La Locomotives. Welcome back to Local That our Radio. 14 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 1: I'm THEOS and I am Mala. The holiday season is 15 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:08,479 Speaker 1: back already, and I can't believe it. Same. I feel like, well, 16 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 1: every time, like we get through Halloween and then Thanksgiving, 17 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, the year's over. It's done. Yeah, it's done. 18 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:19,920 Speaker 1: All that's left is like, how are we handling these holidays? Honestly, 19 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: because there's just so much pressure I feel like around 20 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:26,400 Speaker 1: the holiday times for a myriad of reasons. You know, 21 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,959 Speaker 1: there's like the economic side of the holidays. Are you 22 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: buying presents this year? How many presents for whom? All 23 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,320 Speaker 1: of that. So we're going to dive into some of 24 00:01:38,319 --> 00:01:42,280 Speaker 1: that today. And also like setting boundaries with your family 25 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,399 Speaker 1: during the holidays, because sometimes we can go the whole 26 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: year without seeing certain family members and then boom, holidays 27 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:54,680 Speaker 1: happen and then everybody's together. Yeah, and also like the 28 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: past couple of years, the holidays have just been super different. Absolutely, 29 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: we still haven't gotten back to like full on family 30 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: gatherings for the holidays. We've been doing a lot of 31 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:13,679 Speaker 1: just immediate family. Yeah, we haven't gotten back to big 32 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: holiday gatherings. It used to be everyone you know at 33 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: Christmas and Thanksgiving, but since the pandemic, we've kept it 34 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: to like immediate family. We try and maybe like spread 35 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: out our gatherings more throughout the year and so making 36 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,520 Speaker 1: more of an effort, like let's get together for a 37 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 1: birthday party. It'll be outdoors. And I really feel for 38 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:40,560 Speaker 1: people who are like traveling also because it just seems 39 00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:45,799 Speaker 1: like flying is impossible. Yeah, there's also like more exposure. 40 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:52,080 Speaker 1: Mask mandates are not existent in La County. The CDC 41 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,400 Speaker 1: are not the CDC, but the l A Public Health 42 00:02:54,480 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: has recommended folks wear masks again because the numbers are rising, 43 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: per like when her surge, right, And so, yeah, I 44 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:06,280 Speaker 1: feel like there's a significant or there's an additional layer 45 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: of stress now with the holidays, you know, you have 46 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 1: to take these different precautions, whether that be if you're traveling, 47 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: getting tested before masking up prior maybe not being as 48 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,960 Speaker 1: social before the holidays so that you're limiting your exposure. 49 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:26,200 Speaker 1: And then after all that, you're also potentially seeing family 50 00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:29,760 Speaker 1: members that you either don't want to see or you're 51 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: really happy to see. Right, It's a combination, I feel 52 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,600 Speaker 1: for some totally. And on our end, we've kind of 53 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 1: changed up how we do our live events and parties 54 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 1: and shows. We used to do more stuff towards the 55 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: end of the year. November was always our look at 56 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: a podcast party anniversary party, and we have moved it 57 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: basically like, uh two, we did our our show. When 58 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: was it in February? It was in March? Was in March. 59 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,240 Speaker 1: We moved it to the spring and likely will also 60 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 1: be in the spring. Yeah, I think that's I'm glad 61 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 1: you brought that up, because we used we used to 62 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: have look at Alive as an anniversary party, and now 63 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: we're just pivoting because of the surges of the ability 64 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,360 Speaker 1: to do things outside and it'd be warm and it'd 65 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,120 Speaker 1: be comfortable for folks. We're doing things more in the 66 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:29,000 Speaker 1: springtime for that reason, and things were getting canceled left 67 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 1: and right and shut down, and things postponed and moved. 68 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: And we had, like last year, the intention doing our 69 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 1: show in November, but we made a decision internally that 70 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,359 Speaker 1: it would be a very bad idea because of the 71 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: actually was it in November? Was it the top of 72 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: the year, like January? And this was when like Omicron 73 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,599 Speaker 1: was coming. I feel like we moved it twice. We 74 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,159 Speaker 1: probably did move it twice. Yeah, yeah, And it was 75 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 1: hard because the last thing we want is for folks 76 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: to come out to toward us and then there'd be 77 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 1: a little spread, a little COVID party. You know, that's 78 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:10,000 Speaker 1: not fun and partner Now, we would never want to 79 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,160 Speaker 1: expose people in that way. Some things are, of course 80 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: out of our control. If you're gathering, you're you know, 81 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: you're making a conscious decision right to be in a 82 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 1: maybe a closed in space or with people you don't know, 83 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,599 Speaker 1: and so just us trying to keep all those different 84 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 1: factors in mind when event planning. So that this also 85 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:35,040 Speaker 1: leads me to like sometimes canceling on holiday plan right, 86 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:38,280 Speaker 1: and on holiday parties, Like I missed a Thanksgiving and 87 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 1: I missed a Christmas because of you know, like COVID 88 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,839 Speaker 1: scares are being feverish or like having a cough, and 89 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: so it's like, well, I'll call you guys, or I'll 90 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 1: zoom in. And there was a time we're not showing 91 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 1: up for Christmas or Thanksgiving is like an unthinkable don't 92 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:59,279 Speaker 1: even think about. Right, there was a pressure to be 93 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,880 Speaker 1: there in the flesh, it didn't know much pressure and 94 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: for different reasons, right, like don't tell my mother that 95 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,320 Speaker 1: there's a scheduling conflict. I can't go up to Christmas, 96 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 1: Like that's not a thing. Don't you dare try and 97 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,839 Speaker 1: tell Grandma that I'm going to go to you know, 98 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:18,239 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to my boyfriends Honger and Grandma's no, 99 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:23,159 Speaker 1: like no, you know, very like intense about the family 100 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,359 Speaker 1: needs to be together for the holidays. So for the 101 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,320 Speaker 1: past couple of years. It's also been about kind of 102 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:34,240 Speaker 1: retraining ourselves around like how we think of attending these things. 103 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 1: And it's not like a stab in the heart, right, 104 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 1: it's to my mother if I can't make it because 105 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,320 Speaker 1: there are COVID surges and maybe it's better if I 106 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 1: stay home, you know what I mean. Yeah, I think 107 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 1: it in a way has made us reevaluate or think like, hey, 108 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,760 Speaker 1: it's not personal exactly. You know, it's not personal that 109 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 1: I'm not attending. It's that I'm prioritizing your health, my health, 110 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:01,159 Speaker 1: everyone's you know, will be and it has nothing to 111 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: do with you. It doesn't say anything about you as 112 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:08,599 Speaker 1: a person. It's just for the best that I don't attend, right, 113 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: And yeah, I think that's really hard. I notice, you know, 114 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:16,160 Speaker 1: on my end, that certain people in my family get 115 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: a pass to to not attend things and nobody flinches. 116 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,679 Speaker 1: Why why do they get past? Because they're men? Yes. 117 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,000 Speaker 1: For example, you know my buddy male whom I love 118 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: very dearly. You know, he is a nurse and he 119 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 1: works a lot. He also travels more so pre pandemic. 120 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,440 Speaker 1: But when he doesn't attend things, it's like a matter 121 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,240 Speaker 1: of fact, Oh yeah, he's working. Oh he had another 122 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: another thing, and nobody flinches. But if I don't attend something, 123 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: oh my god, it's the biggest betrayal in the world. 124 00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: It's like, you're unmarried with no children and you can't 125 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 1: attend what are you doing? You're busy with? What's like, 126 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:59,240 Speaker 1: what could you possibly be busy with? Is like the 127 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 1: vibe and entered that I that I get. Yeah, It's 128 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: it's interesting because it's like, on the one hand, like, oh, 129 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:12,080 Speaker 1: there's more leeway, there's more room. They can just kind 130 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 1: of do whatever they want and the hammer is not 131 00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:18,520 Speaker 1: being brought down on them metaphorically. But on the other hand, 132 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 1: it makes them sound kind of dispensable, like they're not 133 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 1: the core of the family, and like people are not 134 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: devastated if they're not there, but if you're not there, 135 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: everyone's devastated. The party cannot go on, you know. I 136 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 1: don't even feel that essential in one side of the family, 137 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 1: you know, And so I'm like it's one of the 138 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 1: things where like, well, I don't know why I'm here 139 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 1: because I feel not essential here. So it's more of 140 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:45,559 Speaker 1: just that mom guilt. There's also a reality where it's like, well, 141 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,160 Speaker 1: if I'm not there, what are you guys even talking about? 142 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,080 Speaker 1: What do you guys have to discuss? If I'm not 143 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:55,360 Speaker 1: there right, I think to like, I don't know about you, Mela, 144 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 1: because I think we have different family dynamics. But sometimes 145 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 1: there's this I get this sense where like or no, 146 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 1: I'll experience like a holiday or gathering and I'm like, 147 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:08,679 Speaker 1: nobody has asked me anything about my life, you know, 148 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 1: And I'm like, am I supposed to be? And I've 149 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: been reflecting on that, like am I supposed to be 150 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 1: sharing more interesting? Or because on my end, I'm waiting 151 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 1: for you to ask me more. Of course, I've had 152 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 1: such a big year, huge year, you know, I'm doing. 153 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:25,960 Speaker 1: There's so many things to ask me about, Like I 154 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: started grad school, we signed with a network, lots of 155 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:34,200 Speaker 1: other things going on, running so much, And sometimes I'm like, 156 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:39,640 Speaker 1: so does nobody care? It's not as important as other things. 157 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: Oh but you'll ask me when I'm having a kid. 158 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,720 Speaker 1: When are you finally going to have a baby? You know? 159 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: And that ship bothers me and then it just makes 160 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 1: me not want to attend things. I'm like, do you 161 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 1: even like me? Do you even know me? God? Damn? 162 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,320 Speaker 1: Do I exist to you? If I, like have never 163 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:02,160 Speaker 1: borne a child. Yeah, um, this is something that I have, 164 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: uh noticed as well. It's like, all these huge things 165 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 1: are happening. It's very exciting. There's press and there's launch parties, 166 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:17,200 Speaker 1: and there's budgets and we're being flown out to Philadelphia 167 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,640 Speaker 1: and we're going to New York and we're winning awards 168 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:23,280 Speaker 1: and we're launching shows and all these things. But in 169 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 1: my little family circle too, I do experience some of that. Okay, 170 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 1: but so and so is looking real cute. You two 171 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,959 Speaker 1: should have babies together, you know. It's like, I'm busy, 172 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 1: who's watching this baby? I'm booked. I don't have time 173 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 1: for this baby. But at the same time, our family 174 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 1: dynamics are a little bit different because like this happened 175 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,199 Speaker 1: the other day and it's been happening for the past 176 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: two years with certain family members. If they're there the 177 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 1: second I walked through the door, it's oh, I thought 178 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 1: of a joke for you, and they're pitching me jokes. 179 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: They're itching me like all of them. That's funny. Yeah, 180 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,320 Speaker 1: Like we celebrated my sister's birthday and like my aunt, 181 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,559 Speaker 1: my uncle and my have that I'll pitch jokes to me, 182 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,560 Speaker 1: my dad, my mom is constantly pitching me jokes. So 183 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: but I one of the reasons why I enjoy the 184 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: comedy and I went into comedy is because I grew 185 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 1: up in a very funny family and like they were 186 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 1: already telling jokes and going back and forth like since 187 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:29,040 Speaker 1: I was a kid. So now they see me doing 188 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 1: it and they're like, oh, I thought of something, and 189 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,800 Speaker 1: they're like, you can keep that, you can use that 190 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,240 Speaker 1: in your set. You can have that one. That's so 191 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 1: you don't even have to credit me. It's too much. 192 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: That is so funny. Well, I mean, at least they're 193 00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:46,160 Speaker 1: expressing interests. That's important. Yeah, yeah, oh you know a girl. 194 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 1: I think they're going to express lots of interest when 195 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,840 Speaker 1: we're living in the Hollywood Hills, honey, then they'll be 196 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: very interested. Who knows, who knows. I think though too though, 197 00:11:56,440 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 1: like I think all of that, you know, process, seeing 198 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: and reevaluation and thinking has also led me to say, like, well, 199 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,439 Speaker 1: I don't have to go to everything, and that's okay, right, 200 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,760 Speaker 1: because you are in fact doing all of these things right, right, 201 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:17,520 Speaker 1: And I don't have to feel obligated to go and 202 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 1: that's okay. And people can be upset about it. And 203 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 1: that's part of it too, where it's like, Okay, you 204 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,840 Speaker 1: can be annoyed and go and have a terrible time 205 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: or have a fine time, right, but you also don't 206 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,079 Speaker 1: have to. And then I think you reach that realization 207 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 1: we're like, wait, no one's actually making me go. I'm 208 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 1: making myself go by way of like family guilt, mom guilt, 209 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 1: Catholic guilt, all the guilts. Yeah, and I think sometimes, oh, 210 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,320 Speaker 1: come with me, because I don't want to show up 211 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:53,240 Speaker 1: by myself. Yes, we're we're are mothers like safety blankets exactly. 212 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 1: I am my mom's date two things all the time, 213 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: and I'm down for it, like I'll take my mom 214 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 1: to things. But there is that peace where it's like 215 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: I love you, but I can't tonight, not today. I'm sorry. 216 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:13,199 Speaker 1: I mean, how do you know, set boundaries with your family? 217 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 1: Like are there things that is it kind of like 218 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:21,199 Speaker 1: a free for all? Or do you like redirect people 219 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:26,480 Speaker 1: when they bring up certain topics like family, marriage anything 220 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 1: like or how does that work? Yeah? I think I 221 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 1: think um by basically, I used to get upset. It 222 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,079 Speaker 1: used to bother me like uh, like this huge thing 223 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,720 Speaker 1: just happened, and you're talking about me having a freaking baby, 224 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:46,120 Speaker 1: Like what is the deal? Um? So Now what I 225 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: do instead is I'm like, okay, and like who's babysitting, 226 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:54,680 Speaker 1: who's buying pampers? You know, who's volunteering? Because I'm I'll 227 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,080 Speaker 1: give you the baby, I'll hand it over. You know. 228 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 1: That's kind of like how I talk about it. Now 229 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:04,000 Speaker 1: you want it, it's yours, right, you know. Um So 230 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 1: I try and just like talk around these things now. Yeah, 231 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 1: and um it's working. That's good. It's working. Yeah. I 232 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,079 Speaker 1: think my well know, my mom brings it up constantly, 233 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:19,520 Speaker 1: but I tell her, like, there's a plan, there's a timeline, 234 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 1: please let it be. And her thing right now is 235 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 1: she says like, well, by the time you have babies, 236 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 1: you're going to be changing too diapers mine and the babies. 237 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: And I'm like, mother, please, what how old do you 238 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 1: think you are? Like what? Oh my god, that's like 239 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 1: her favorite thing to say right now. Oh yeah, the 240 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:43,520 Speaker 1: changing diaper stuff. My mom is always like, and who 241 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 1: is going to change my diaper? Exactly like your son 242 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 1: that you love so much, only son that you love 243 00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:56,840 Speaker 1: so dearly, He's going to do it. That's funny. Yeah. No, yeah, 244 00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:01,000 Speaker 1: are you doing presents this year? No, this is the 245 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 1: first year. I think we're not doing presents because we 246 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 1: have some other things going on, like event budget wise, 247 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 1: and so I think we're maybe we'll do something small, 248 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 1: you know. I was thinking about getting my both of 249 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 1: my parents, like, um, like a massage certificate, you know, 250 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 1: so they can go because those aren't too expensive. And 251 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 1: I can get them both, you know, a little a 252 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 1: little duel thing and they can go together or they 253 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,000 Speaker 1: can go separately. But I was thinking more something like 254 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 1: that as opposed to like a material thing. Yeah, that's 255 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: a tree. I've been thinking a lot about that too, 256 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: Like let's go do something together. Let's go see a 257 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: movie together, Let's go to oh Hi, let's go to 258 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 1: some hot springs. I don't know. I want to get 259 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 1: get them out of the house. Um, old folks need 260 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 1: fresh air, you guys. They've been inside. They go to work, 261 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:56,600 Speaker 1: they go home, you know, pandemic stuff. They're tired, they're 262 00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 1: on lockdown, what have you. They're quarantining. But I'm like, 263 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,320 Speaker 1: I need to air these old people out. They need 264 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: some fresh air. I need to get them outside. You know. 265 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 1: That's why I've been feeling, we'll see if they let me, 266 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,720 Speaker 1: if they let you get out, you know. Yeah, I 267 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,480 Speaker 1: feel that way about my mom too, where it's like 268 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,840 Speaker 1: I want her to go out and I want her 269 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: to do things and take her places, and for the 270 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 1: most part, like you know, i'll take her to dinner, 271 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:23,160 Speaker 1: I'll take her places. But she also really likes being 272 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 1: home and so I like also have to respect that too, 273 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 1: because that's her thing that she likes, and so why 274 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 1: am I gonna disrupt it disturb it if that's her 275 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:37,080 Speaker 1: a little happy place. Okay, So, as our listeners step 276 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:42,680 Speaker 1: into the holiday season, travel, attend holiday gatherings, what are 277 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 1: some boundaries examples of boundaries that they can set with 278 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 1: their families. So boundaries with families this holiday season. It 279 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 1: can be anything from sorry you can't make it too, sorry, 280 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to wear a mask too, Sorry, I don't 281 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 1: want to talk about when I'm getting pregnant. It could 282 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,400 Speaker 1: be any number of things. So, uh, there's a lot 283 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,680 Speaker 1: of different ways to avoid discussing things you don't want 284 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:09,560 Speaker 1: to discuss at your holiday party, your family gathering. Number One, 285 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 1: bring a list of your own topics. Don't sit around 286 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,320 Speaker 1: and wait for one of your family members to ask 287 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 1: you an invasive question. Instead, go back and listen to 288 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,439 Speaker 1: our entire season seven of Look at Our Radio. We 289 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:26,199 Speaker 1: have prepped a bunch of topics that are perfect to 290 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:31,520 Speaker 1: ignite conversation, start the fight, fight, but to distract from 291 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,919 Speaker 1: your personal life. So I recommend go listen to our 292 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 1: episode about the l A. Sheriff's Department Gangs and go 293 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 1: talk to your family about gangs in law enforcement. You 294 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,920 Speaker 1: got facts, You've got statistics, you have a whole podcast 295 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,600 Speaker 1: you can listen to on l A. S D Gangs 296 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,359 Speaker 1: called a tradition of violence by series Castle, So go 297 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:55,760 Speaker 1: tune in, plug in and come armed with information. You 298 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 1: can also listen to our episode with Ovilia Romero on 299 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,879 Speaker 1: span language violence. Go to your Latin X family and 300 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:04,880 Speaker 1: talk about that. Oh, they're going to love that one. 301 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:08,719 Speaker 1: They're gonna we might just disinvite you from all future 302 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:11,160 Speaker 1: gatherings and then you never have to worry about invasive 303 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 1: questions ever again. You can go listen to our l 304 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 1: A Versus Hate episode about hate crimes and how to 305 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 1: report them. You can also tune into our episode about 306 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:25,120 Speaker 1: like trad wives and creeping conservatism on social media and um, 307 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:28,120 Speaker 1: bring that to the table. You know, traditional wives were 308 00:18:28,119 --> 00:18:33,560 Speaker 1: getting lobotomies in the fifties. Why are we aspiring to that? Right? Absolutely? Yeah, 309 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,280 Speaker 1: I mean you can definitely bring up these topics at 310 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,240 Speaker 1: the dinner table. You can also just flat out say 311 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,680 Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about that. I don't want 312 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,719 Speaker 1: to talk about having kids or when I'm getting married. 313 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:47,919 Speaker 1: Asked me about my business, Asked me about how school 314 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:52,200 Speaker 1: is going, Asked me about my hobby, literally anything else 315 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 1: in the world that's about my personhood. Asked me about 316 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,040 Speaker 1: that I'm married to the money. I'm married to me. 317 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 1: I'm married to the hustle. Uh. What I like to 318 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:05,199 Speaker 1: do sometimes at holidays is sit at the kids table 319 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:09,280 Speaker 1: because I am a grandchild. I am the firstborn grandchild. 320 00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:12,800 Speaker 1: I am of the grandchild tear. Even though I'm very 321 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,040 Speaker 1: much an adult, So sometimes I feel like I'm gonna 322 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: be with my peers, with my people, but the grandchildren, 323 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,199 Speaker 1: you know, this is the my category. So you can 324 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:27,679 Speaker 1: avoid adult conversations by avoiding groups of adults completely and 325 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,959 Speaker 1: pay attention to the kids. And the kids love you, 326 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: they want to hang out with you. If you're not 327 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:38,240 Speaker 1: already the favorite prima or thea. You can become that right, 328 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,359 Speaker 1: like bring a game, you know, ask them questions about 329 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:46,240 Speaker 1: their their little internal lives. Kids have very complex things 330 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:51,080 Speaker 1: going on in their minds and they're hilarious, So talk 331 00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 1: to the kids. You can also create distractions. Be the 332 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:57,359 Speaker 1: person who brings all the weed or brings all the wine. 333 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:02,240 Speaker 1: Bring be the person who brings like interactive game play, 334 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,680 Speaker 1: really loud music so no one can engage in conversation. 335 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:08,119 Speaker 1: There's just a lot of ways, you know, to set 336 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:12,040 Speaker 1: the mood to protect yourself from these things. Yeah. Absolutely, 337 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 1: I mean all else fails, you can always say see, yes, 338 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:21,000 Speaker 1: I was going at Bungo Buckingmvitas boom there and who 339 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:25,760 Speaker 1: can argue with that? They already know you. Yes, you know. 340 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:30,600 Speaker 1: The last Thanksgiving, my Marina, my Nina, who I love dearly, 341 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:35,360 Speaker 1: was so mean to me because she was like, oh, well, 342 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:36,919 Speaker 1: you know, when you get married, you're going to have 343 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,800 Speaker 1: to start washing laundry and ironing and cooking. And I 344 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 1: was like, Nina, and she was like, feminis that's how 345 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 1: life is. And I'm like, I texted Mala and I'm like, 346 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: why does she want me to suffer so badly? Like 347 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 1: why does my mother now actually hate me, like what 348 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,720 Speaker 1: the hell? And Mama was like, they want us to suffer, 349 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,520 Speaker 1: They want us to suffer. If that's what Mary is, No, 350 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,560 Speaker 1: thank you, I'm not suffering in the name of marriage. 351 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,320 Speaker 1: To watch someone's clothing. I can barely watch my own clothing. 352 00:21:07,359 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 1: There's no time. I remember. This memory stands out to 353 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 1: me so hardcore. It was a Christmas memory, and I 354 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 1: remember being a kid and this was when Nicole Kidman 355 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,760 Speaker 1: and Tom Cruise were married. Wow, this is a core memory. 356 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 1: Poor memory. Girl. So it's Christmas and I remember my 357 00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 1: theas my deals, like you know, the family just chatting, chatting, chatting, chatting. 358 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,440 Speaker 1: And at the time, Nicole Kidman had done some interview 359 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,359 Speaker 1: where she said that she didn't want to have babies 360 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,760 Speaker 1: because she didn't want to ruin her body. And I 361 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:47,639 Speaker 1: remember that, like that line stuck out to my family 362 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,400 Speaker 1: so hard, and that was the core focus of the conversation. 363 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,159 Speaker 1: Can you believe Nicole Kidman? So she didn't want to 364 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:58,120 Speaker 1: ruin her quote unquote body, and that's why she doesn't 365 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:01,880 Speaker 1: want to have kids? How selfish? Shallow? How that that 366 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:05,920 Speaker 1: that that I remember them like really coming down? Did 367 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,960 Speaker 1: you did you read that interview. She doesn't want to 368 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 1: have kids because she doesn't want to ruin her body. 369 00:22:09,880 --> 00:22:14,840 Speaker 1: How vapid. Wow. That was a topic of conversation at 370 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 1: the dinner table like angered them. It was like they 371 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 1: were like upset about it, and you know, I'm a kid, 372 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 1: I don't know anything, Like, I don't know, but it 373 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:26,200 Speaker 1: just stuck with me for some reason because now we're 374 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:31,320 Speaker 1: we are in entertainment. Were sometimes on camera, on stage, 375 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:36,520 Speaker 1: on the mic, definitely, So part of it is like, oh, well, 376 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 1: the way that we look is our job on on 377 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:45,600 Speaker 1: some very hardcore level. And there's this like insistence that 378 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:50,359 Speaker 1: women be willing to quote ruin themselves for the sake 379 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:54,120 Speaker 1: of creating a family. We must suffer for the sake 380 00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:58,280 Speaker 1: of having the husband or whatever. When it's like, I'm 381 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,560 Speaker 1: pretty sure that the person that you end up marrying 382 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:05,080 Speaker 1: is going to do lots of cooking and cleaning for you. Yeah, 383 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,639 Speaker 1: why would I marry someone that has an expectation that 384 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to be their mother? Like that's what you 385 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 1: want for me, That's what she was want me to 386 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,919 Speaker 1: aspire to. Nina love you, not that you're listening, but 387 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,120 Speaker 1: if anyone is, I love her dearly. Um but yeah, 388 00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,560 Speaker 1: that really shook me because she had never said anything 389 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,600 Speaker 1: like that to me before, and I was It really 390 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 1: took me aback. And you know, and I think this 391 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,520 Speaker 1: goes back to what we say all the time, like 392 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 1: these conversations happened in literally our dining room tables in 393 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,000 Speaker 1: front of us. I've never had that conversation with her, 394 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:38,840 Speaker 1: so I was super shocked to hear her say that 395 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,400 Speaker 1: to me, because in my mind, I'm like, oh, well, 396 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 1: you know me and you know what I'm about. But 397 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 1: once you get married, it doesn't matter. Your own values 398 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,640 Speaker 1: and ideologies don't matter anymore because you've got the husband, 399 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,720 Speaker 1: so it doesn't matter. You have to put all that 400 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:54,879 Speaker 1: aside because you've got to take care of your husband 401 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,320 Speaker 1: like he's a kid. Yeah. I think the classic one too, 402 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:01,680 Speaker 1: is like, um, oh, nice nails. I can tell you 403 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,639 Speaker 1: don't do any dishes. You can't. You can't do house. 404 00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 1: You can't maintain a husband with those nails. How are 405 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,440 Speaker 1: you going to do laundry and dishes and scrub toilets. 406 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,879 Speaker 1: It's ridiculous because first of all, don't you wear gloves 407 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:17,679 Speaker 1: when you do all those things where your gloves come on? 408 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,639 Speaker 1: So there's that but yes, no, always the insistence and 409 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 1: the critiques and the just nitpicking of what's on our 410 00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: bodies and what we say and what we do and 411 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:33,920 Speaker 1: how we act. Enough enough, we're done, and then going 412 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 1: back because I didn't finish this thought because we got 413 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 1: into something else talking about something else. But when you 414 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:43,080 Speaker 1: were talking about Nicole Kidman, right, it's also not just 415 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,639 Speaker 1: you know, potentially what the trauma that you put your 416 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,640 Speaker 1: body through to have a baby, but it's also just 417 00:24:48,119 --> 00:24:50,280 Speaker 1: the time as you've been saying, like okay, I can 418 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,920 Speaker 1: have the baby, and then what who's raising the right 419 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,879 Speaker 1: And so like we're clearly we've expressed, you know, to 420 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,719 Speaker 1: each other, to our families, two people maybe we've been 421 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,639 Speaker 1: seeing like when that's not the era that we're in 422 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,120 Speaker 1: right now. We don't have the time and we don't 423 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,840 Speaker 1: have the space or desire to have a child right now, 424 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:12,040 Speaker 1: and that's okay, And it's really just catching up your 425 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,160 Speaker 1: family to that too, Like maybe you had a baby 426 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,159 Speaker 1: when you were twenty years old, that's great, that was 427 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:20,560 Speaker 1: what you know, maybe was expected of you or what 428 00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:24,439 Speaker 1: you wanted, and that's fine. It's different for us. So 429 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,600 Speaker 1: we're choosing and women are having kids later in life now, 430 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,040 Speaker 1: like women are having kids in their late thirties, early 431 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:34,440 Speaker 1: forties even, and so that's okay, we're good with that. 432 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,480 Speaker 1: It's this notion of life because the women in my 433 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,600 Speaker 1: family were getting married and already having babies by the 434 00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:42,920 Speaker 1: time they were thirty, and that's when they moved out 435 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:47,520 Speaker 1: of the house. That was their mark of adulthood, and 436 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:51,040 Speaker 1: their lives beginning was the marriage and the kids. My 437 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 1: markers for my life beginning are very different. My markers 438 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,640 Speaker 1: are my life has already begun. My life is happening, right, 439 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 1: I'm not like waiting for my life to to start. 440 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,119 Speaker 1: If you're waiting for my life to start, you missed it. 441 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:10,720 Speaker 1: You're behind. You know, the train has taken off. We're going, 442 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,639 Speaker 1: we're living, We're full speed ahead. That's so funny because 443 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:17,640 Speaker 1: in Spanish there's that saying exactly you know, it's like, oh, 444 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,920 Speaker 1: you're missing your chance to get married and have the kids. Well, no, 445 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,680 Speaker 1: the train has been gone, like on a different track. 446 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 1: I'm the conductor exactly. I literally like, you're waiting on 447 00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:35,119 Speaker 1: the platform and I'm already gone. I'm gone. Yeah. So 448 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,399 Speaker 1: I think that's also helped with the conversations and the 449 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: questions about the kids in the marriage. I'm like, you, guys, 450 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,439 Speaker 1: I'm doing something right now. Why are you asking me 451 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 1: to do something other than what I'm doing right? Like, 452 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:51,119 Speaker 1: this is what I'm doing right now. Like there's no husband, 453 00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:54,119 Speaker 1: no wife on the horizon, there's nothing in sight, there's 454 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:57,480 Speaker 1: not there's nothing, So like, what are we asking about here? 455 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,440 Speaker 1: You're missing out, like on what I'm doing. They are? 456 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 1: They are when they incessant focus on that aspect of 457 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,679 Speaker 1: the life. Like going back to what I said, I'm like, Oh, 458 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,560 Speaker 1: you're missing out on all the other things that I'm 459 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 1: doing and you're not asking me about it. Maybe there's 460 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,359 Speaker 1: a responsibility on my end to tell you what I'm doing. 461 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 1: But in my mind, right, maybe that's like a little 462 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,760 Speaker 1: self involved. But in my mind, I'm like, oh, but 463 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,400 Speaker 1: you know that I'm in school. You know that I'm 464 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,879 Speaker 1: doing X y Z, so you should be able to 465 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 1: ask me about that. Maybe I need to like own 466 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:28,560 Speaker 1: up and take responsibility and maybe share more. Fine, okay, 467 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:32,159 Speaker 1: but do you care or just the babies that you 468 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,280 Speaker 1: care about, because I'm not going to share if you 469 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 1: don't want to hear it, right, and you're not going 470 00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 1: to be because it's also very deflating, like we have 471 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,960 Speaker 1: all this exciting stuff going on and then you share 472 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:50,359 Speaker 1: it and they're like, oh, crickets, okay, I'm never sharing 473 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,480 Speaker 1: you ever again. Yes, because we want our families to 474 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,840 Speaker 1: also be excited with us, not just for us, but 475 00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:00,800 Speaker 1: like with with us. Isn't this anxiety? And I think 476 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 1: to like for us and anyone that is creating their 477 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:07,879 Speaker 1: own path and maybe doing something outside the norm than 478 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,760 Speaker 1: what their family has done, it's like, look at the 479 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:15,160 Speaker 1: possibilities now, you know, for everyone else in the family, 480 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,160 Speaker 1: Like I created this little mold, this pathway, and so 481 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,440 Speaker 1: people in the family can follow, not even in exact ways, 482 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:24,200 Speaker 1: but just anything related like to being being in the arts, 483 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:28,080 Speaker 1: being entertainment, being in like art and culture. That's exciting, 484 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,720 Speaker 1: you know. And so it's not even just about me, 485 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: but it's about all of us, Like how else can 486 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:39,160 Speaker 1: we support each other and create these different pathways. It's 487 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 1: been really fun, like seeing like my god daughter and 488 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:48,200 Speaker 1: my little cousins and their individual little talents starting to 489 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,880 Speaker 1: peek out. Like I have a cousin who is an 490 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: amazing gymnast and she's so little, but she is like 491 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 1: she's flipping all over the place and she's dancing all 492 00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:00,120 Speaker 1: over the place. And then my god daughter is like 493 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:05,120 Speaker 1: a crochet genius and she makes like very complicated crochet works. 494 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,520 Speaker 1: And then my other cousin is like building her own computer. 495 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,640 Speaker 1: And so seeing them, it's this is also why I say, 496 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,040 Speaker 1: like hang out at the kid's table, because I'm like, 497 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,960 Speaker 1: I'm doing this artsy FARTSI thing with my life, and 498 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 1: I like to be that family member who can like 499 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:24,120 Speaker 1: just really indulge them in the fun stuff that they're doing. 500 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,640 Speaker 1: And yeah, like show me your dance, Like teach me 501 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:30,120 Speaker 1: your dance, Like, yeah, show me all your yarn that 502 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,120 Speaker 1: you're working with, Like tell me everything about your your 503 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 1: crochet art, Like I want to know about the buttons 504 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:40,479 Speaker 1: that you're choosing and why you know. And so I 505 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,120 Speaker 1: just I had these memories too of growing up where 506 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:47,520 Speaker 1: it's like, uh um, I think adults often like want 507 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,480 Speaker 1: to redirect you. What are you gonna do in college? 508 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 1: You want to be a lawyer? Like have you ever 509 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,680 Speaker 1: thought you should be a doctor? Oh? You have such 510 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 1: an engineering mind, you know. And with the kids, I 511 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:02,400 Speaker 1: want to be like I love your painting. What is 512 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,680 Speaker 1: it that you're doing right now? I look an applaud. Yeah, 513 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,479 Speaker 1: it's so, this is so sick. Teach me how you know. 514 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,560 Speaker 1: So that's also why I say that, Um, the adults, 515 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,720 Speaker 1: they've lived their lives, their brains are fully formed, they're 516 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,760 Speaker 1: setting their ways, they've got their pensions, you know, like 517 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:22,840 Speaker 1: it's about the youth, now right, That's why I feel. Yeah, alright, y'all, well, 518 00:30:22,960 --> 00:30:26,120 Speaker 1: we wish you well during this holiday season. We will 519 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:29,760 Speaker 1: be producing and putting out episodes throughout the end of 520 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,720 Speaker 1: the year and into the new year, so you won't 521 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:36,000 Speaker 1: miss us. 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