Speaker 1: The Nicky Gazer Here, Nicky, Hello here, I am Snicki
Speaker 1: Glazer Podcast. Welcome to the show. I'm Nicky Glazer. Andrew
Speaker 1: Colin is with me fun my apartment complex. Neighbor pulling
Speaker 1: up the black sox. I got black sox on two
Speaker 1: with white Adidas and shorts. Is that okay? Black socks,
Speaker 1: black dress socks with Jim shoes. You know what's cool
Speaker 1: anything that you have confidence wearing. I saw a guy
Speaker 1: walking down the street very confidently with um a hospital
Speaker 1: gown on and Jim shoes and nothing else. He was
Speaker 1: definitely a crazy person, but there was something chic about
Speaker 1: it because he didn't seem to mind that his ass
Speaker 1: was hanging out in the back and that he just
Speaker 1: looked like he was just confidently looking for math. I'm
Speaker 1: sure that could be like if Kanye put that out,
Speaker 1: would spend seven on it. I used to always think that,
Speaker 1: Like I remember in sixth grade being like, bowling shoes
Speaker 1: are going to be cool someday because they were remember
Speaker 1: just wearing you How often do you go someplace and
Speaker 1: you wear a type of you have to wear a
Speaker 1: type of shoe. I mean, we're not talking about roller
Speaker 1: skates or ski boots. It's a shoe you have to wear.
Speaker 1: I mean golf. I understand soccer kids, well, I guess okay, no, no,
Speaker 1: But bowling it's a different thing. It's a different you
Speaker 1: can't wear on the street like you can walk around
Speaker 1: in a bowling shoe. You might be slipper, but actually
Speaker 1: they're not slippery because they have to be on slippery floors.
Speaker 1: Why do you need bowling shoes? Why? Because they scuff
Speaker 1: up the floor. Regular shoes doesn't get the scuffs off.
Speaker 1: Why don't they make you wear if you go to
Speaker 1: a gym like a y M c A. Why don't
Speaker 1: they make you change into shoes that aren't going to
Speaker 1: scuff up that floor. Why are bowling alleys so you
Speaker 1: know we're bowling alleys? You can't scuff off our floor
Speaker 1: like you're places are soaked in like urine and PEPSI
Speaker 1: from like they bowling all are disgusting. Why are they
Speaker 1: not at my local park? I never had to You
Speaker 1: don't have to check my feet. Makes you shower before
Speaker 1: you get in the fucking pool? Why are they not
Speaker 1: caring about their courts? Why are bowling shoes needed? Don't
Speaker 1: actually write in and tell me because I don't care,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure it's a very good reason to be
Speaker 1: honest with you. I mean, I think I told you
Speaker 1: the reason to scuff, But that doesn't make sense because
Speaker 1: if it's just about not scuffing, first of all, you're
Speaker 1: not walking into the lane. That would make it an
Speaker 1: illegal throw, So they don't need to worry about it
Speaker 1: getting scuffed on the lane, which is where the ball
Speaker 1: is rolling, which is what you would not want. Scuffs
Speaker 1: to impede a bowling ball from doing certain things. So
Speaker 1: if there's scuffs before the takeoff, who gives a funk? Okay?
Speaker 1: Do you want to know why? I just googled it? Okay?
Speaker 1: So your normal sneakers will stick to the lane and
Speaker 1: cause you to stop abruptly, preventing you from making the
Speaker 1: correct sliding motion, and that will prevent you from getting
Speaker 1: hurt because you move better and stop safely with them on.
Speaker 1: I don't okay this makes sense. First of all, the
Speaker 1: proper equipment is needed when you are really training for
Speaker 1: a a sport. Most people frequenting a bowling alley are
Speaker 1: just doing it for fun. Bowling alleys, You cannot tell
Speaker 1: me they actually care about preventing injury to like oh,
Speaker 1: stopping short, like your r might hurt the next day.
Speaker 1: They don't give a money maker. They'd rent the shoes.
Speaker 1: It's an add on. It's sued they'll no, because I
Speaker 1: don't think they will, because I think the injuries we're
Speaker 1: talking about are not like the ball like flying and
Speaker 1: hitting you in the face. It's like, oh, your arm
Speaker 1: is dislocated, which is like, that's kind of on you.
Speaker 1: I mean you could follow the skating rink and they
Speaker 1: you wouldn't these places have insurance in place to protect them.
Speaker 1: It's a weird thing, and I think you're right. It
Speaker 1: is about money. It all comes down to, like someone
Speaker 1: figured out, and it makes you commit to the game more,
Speaker 1: makes you play more aims because now you have the
Speaker 1: shoes on that you had to lace up and you
Speaker 1: got the wrong size and had treatment. There's commitment. Once
Speaker 1: you want, you get someone to commit enough, they go,
Speaker 1: I gotta keep doing this because I've already what's it called?
Speaker 1: Bill Maher told me about this theory and it's well
Speaker 1: known where if you commit enough to something, you keep
Speaker 1: doing it even if you don't, even if because you've
Speaker 1: already put enough money or effort, you just keep going relationships.
Speaker 1: This happens all the time. Well, we've been together this long.
Speaker 1: It took us a really long time to get to
Speaker 1: this place. Even though I'm still not happy. Oh, you know,
Speaker 1: it's because but the first of all, the past is
Speaker 1: in the past. Like literally, the more time you put
Speaker 1: into the more you think it could be even better
Speaker 1: in the future because you already put time in. It's
Speaker 1: like a minor league in baseball, sticking to it even
Speaker 1: though he's seven years in and the idea of him
Speaker 1: ever making it in major leagues, yes, but enjoyment out
Speaker 1: of it. They're making like five bucks a month, but
Speaker 1: that's a whole love love the game, and those shoes
Speaker 1: they got them to buy the shoes. You know, those
Speaker 1: shoes will keep you committed. I feel like in my
Speaker 1: own relationship, which is obviously not perfect because none are,
Speaker 1: I stay in it even when I have times of
Speaker 1: like this is not ideal and I feel like, oh,
Speaker 1: this could be a possible deal breaker because I've seen
Speaker 1: so much growth in the past year from a person,
Speaker 1: that from both of us who are actually actively trying.
Speaker 1: But I think a lot of people stay in things
Speaker 1: where there's no there's been no change for years, there's
Speaker 1: no change coming, and they just stay in it because
Speaker 1: they just go, well, I've already wasted so much of
Speaker 1: my life on this. I can't like a bad movie.
Speaker 1: A lot of people keep watching a series. This happens
Speaker 1: all the time with series where people will be like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, it was terrible, don't watch it, and
Speaker 1: I go, why did you see all of it? And
Speaker 1: they go, because I watched three episodes I had to see,
Speaker 1: you think. I don't because I give up on any
Speaker 1: show that I don't like, and I walk out of
Speaker 1: movies that I don't like because I'm just like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to waste more of my life this thing
Speaker 1: that's already disrespecting my intelligence so much. Horrible bosses. Take
Speaker 1: your relationship out of this, but like the idea of
Speaker 1: like actually put it in, rubbing it all. Let's only
Speaker 1: talk about your relationship that you've been in, Uh where
Speaker 1: you start, Like, the idea that it's improving is great,
Speaker 1: but could it already? Can you already get into another
Speaker 1: relationship that's either a already where your current one is,
Speaker 1: or is it already even better where you wouldn't have
Speaker 1: to work as hard? Yeah, And that's why I'm always
Speaker 1: I'm not married, so I'm open to that, and so
Speaker 1: should he be. I think that that's I love CARDI
Speaker 1: bes thing like, um you uh, with a without a
Speaker 1: ring on my finger, you ain't going on my graham.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, I'll put my boyfriend on my graham. But
Speaker 1: like my my therapist always used to say, well, you're
Speaker 1: not married, so you're not married. Like my abuse of
Speaker 1: doctor mother, she well she used to kind of talk
Speaker 1: with my mom's cadence, for sure, but she used to say,
Speaker 1: you're not married, so you can entertain anything you want,
Speaker 1: and so can he because a man marriage is agreement
Speaker 1: that we were going to tough this out before you
Speaker 1: have that. Yes, you can have loose commitments, but there's
Speaker 1: nothing um I he has to. We both go out
Speaker 1: in the world knowing that someone could pull us away
Speaker 1: from each other, and we take that risk, and we
Speaker 1: also both I liked I actually enjoy that because it
Speaker 1: makes me work harder and have to like earn this
Speaker 1: thing that I love, which I do. I like earning,
Speaker 1: and people go, you shouldn't have to earn some when
Speaker 1: you love It's I don't feel like he's like constantly
Speaker 1: putting me to the test. I like having something that
Speaker 1: is valuable and that I've worked for and I like
Speaker 1: to continue to work for it. For some reason, I've
Speaker 1: I've First of all, I didn't date for years, right,
Speaker 1: for years, I would just have drunk sex and not
Speaker 1: date and be a whatever. And then but in regards
Speaker 1: to dating, and like, oh, you're not married, so just
Speaker 1: play the game, but date. Like my uncle would tell
Speaker 1: me that, like date ten women at a time, and
Speaker 1: I was like, Dad, sounds exhaust So I was always
Speaker 1: almost if I did commit at all, I was I
Speaker 1: was out. I was off the field completely before even
Speaker 1: the field, before the relationship. Really, I would get so
Speaker 1: excited about I just wanted to have a I wanted
Speaker 1: to I just wanted to, like have someone that I
Speaker 1: could get be comfortable with, have comfortable sex with, have
Speaker 1: like inside jokes. Just a friend really, like a friend
Speaker 1: that you get to fuck. Um is what I always wanted,
Speaker 1: and that's what I want from my girlfriends too, outside
Speaker 1: from the fucking. Like, sometimes I just want to rush
Speaker 1: a friendship and be like I just know, like, let's
Speaker 1: just do this. You're one of my best friends. Like
Speaker 1: the first time I met Catherine at college, I said
Speaker 1: to her on our first walk, which we didn't even
Speaker 1: know each other. We met at a frat part we
Speaker 1: met we were in the same freshman hallway like a
Speaker 1: dorm room, and she was down the hall and our
Speaker 1: whole dorm a floor of girls went out to go
Speaker 1: to like the you know, frat parties. I think it
Speaker 1: was the first weekend of school and all she knew
Speaker 1: of a big party weekend. That's when that's a first impression.
Speaker 1: None of the boys get to go because they are
Speaker 1: all rushing and like they don't get to go to
Speaker 1: these parties when the freshman girl yes, and so she
Speaker 1: had only known of me from we did like we
Speaker 1: went round robin with like hundreds of kids in our
Speaker 1: whole building, all the girls, and we like told like, hi,
Speaker 1: I'm Nikki, and then you like tell a story and
Speaker 1: I told the story of hitting the garbage man. And
Speaker 1: she said, what, that's where you open because we're supposed
Speaker 1: to say funny, like something interesting about I love that,
Speaker 1: And my interesting thing was like that's the most interesting
Speaker 1: thing that's ever happened to me. I also looked like
Speaker 1: a you know, a little like Mr Bones from Nightmare before,
Speaker 1: like a Nightmare on Elm Street or whatever. That no,
Speaker 1: no night before Christmas. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Halloween
Speaker 1: is here, la la la la la, Halloween Christmas time.
Speaker 1: They're taller girls. That's holding you with strings. I can
Speaker 1: see you now. No one wanted to get him marry.
Speaker 1: It was so sad. But I remember i' I was
Speaker 1: like so lost. But we went to this frat party
Speaker 1: and we were just like overwhelmed. We didn't know it
Speaker 1: at the time, but I could tell this girl was
Speaker 1: like nice because she was just like she had had
Speaker 1: antirexia before, so I think she kind of saw what
Speaker 1: I was going through and could relate, even though she
Speaker 1: didn't appear to have it at the time. She was
Speaker 1: still struggling with stuff. But we went to this frat
Speaker 1: party and I just remember being overwhelmed by like I
Speaker 1: had just come from high school where we called out
Speaker 1: constantly with all my friends, Like we did not tolerate it.
Speaker 1: We mocked it. I always had someone in my corner
Speaker 1: to call out K and just like you know, it's
Speaker 1: everywhere in high school and college. That's that's all you
Speaker 1: are as kid, especially your freshman year of college. So
Speaker 1: she had the roommate who was love you to death, Meg,
Speaker 1: and I don't actually don't mean that, like I love you.
Speaker 1: You are a good person, but you were kiss fuck.
Speaker 1: She would just be like very like I'm from New
Speaker 1: York and she would like play up New York and
Speaker 1: just be like, you know, this was Colorado. She was
Speaker 1: just like she was like very cool, but like her
Speaker 1: New York would come out and she was just like cool,
Speaker 1: like I don't even know if she was could, but
Speaker 1: we caught her being a couple of times. We were
Speaker 1: she ended up being one of our close friends, but
Speaker 1: she was and so was I. No no judgment, but
Speaker 1: she was very cold. And I remember us, Catherine and
Speaker 1: I locking eyes in the hallway of this frat on
Speaker 1: the second floor, and it was first week of college.
Speaker 1: I had no friends, but something could happen and we
Speaker 1: kind of locked eyes and I like kind of rolled
Speaker 1: my eyes like I gave like a cut with my eyes,
Speaker 1: and she like kind of giggled. And then I walked
Speaker 1: over to her later and I was like, do you
Speaker 1: want to get out of here? Do you want to
Speaker 1: like just go like walk around the city because we
Speaker 1: were bolder, we had never been there. I wanted to
Speaker 1: go find John by A. Ramsey's house, so I was like,
Speaker 1: let's just go walk around. We had no phone. This
Speaker 1: was flip phones, no GPS, you know, T nine texting
Speaker 1: at We didn't even have texting, I don't think at
Speaker 1: this point maybe very very first day of texting and
Speaker 1: really ted me. Yeah, liked college, like, let's let's ditch
Speaker 1: this delta barting. Dude, I'm not been joking, you know.
Speaker 1: I almost went to Colorado this week to go see
Speaker 1: Phoebe Bridgers and Red Rocks with Catherine. She still lives
Speaker 1: in Denversities from Chicago. But um, I almost went out there,
Speaker 1: and I would have gone had I read this Columbine
Speaker 1: book a day sooner, because I am so fascinated by
Speaker 1: Columbine that I want to go see the school as
Speaker 1: one of these like losers that wants to go. And
Speaker 1: I also I've been to the theater where they were
Speaker 1: shooting happened. I don't know why I liked this morbid
Speaker 1: ship anyway, I did want to go see the John A.
Speaker 1: Ramsey house. One time. I was at a college party
Speaker 1: during the same freshman year. We read a house party
Speaker 1: where we didn't know where we were. The cops showed up.
Speaker 1: We had to hide in the basement. And I remember
Speaker 1: I was trying to be funny. We were like hidden
Speaker 1: the basebart like whispering and like giggling, you know, And
Speaker 1: I go, you, guys, this is the Ramsey house. This
Speaker 1: is where she was murdered. This is the this is
Speaker 1: the room. And it was like a big story. And
Speaker 1: she was murdered in the basement, like that's where the
Speaker 1: crime scene was. And people all ran upstairs so scared,
Speaker 1: and then like like the cops were. I mean, we
Speaker 1: were gonna get caught anyway, probably, but I know that
Speaker 1: people did not appreciate that joke, and I thought it
Speaker 1: was not funny. I'd rather spend a night in jail
Speaker 1: than with this woman with a girl girl who looks
Speaker 1: like sticks yeah, this girl who looks like she survived
Speaker 1: and never gotten Yeah, or to go. Honestly, I was
Speaker 1: wearing a neutlace that was probably too tight. Um. That's
Speaker 1: for people who know about the crime. Um. So wait,
Speaker 1: so you're at the frat party. You're like, let's get
Speaker 1: out of you. Yes. So she's like yes, I mean
Speaker 1: I start walking a lot of like for a young
Speaker 1: person to go, this isn't for me. That is such
Speaker 1: a hard choice and I could after we go, like
Speaker 1: I could talk to you about my first party where
Speaker 1: I went to complete other way, like my brain was
Speaker 1: not ready to go. That's I'm out. Well, let me
Speaker 1: just say that we did many We we put up
Speaker 1: with many parties, wearing high heels, cold, we treated like
Speaker 1: just stupid sluts. After this, like this was just too
Speaker 1: much for me. I wanted to leave. I saw a
Speaker 1: girl that I had the same kind of connection with
Speaker 1: and then we left. And this is what I'm saying about,
Speaker 1: like I just know instantly, and this is what scares
Speaker 1: off boys, but girls it doesn't scare off. And that's
Speaker 1: why lesbians always talking about their their you haul lesbians
Speaker 1: where they're like after the first day of meeting there
Speaker 1: like let's move in together. Like women just they're not
Speaker 1: scared of that kind of stuff, which brings me to
Speaker 1: love on the Spectrum to U S edition. But I digress,
Speaker 1: which is should be the name of this podcast. I
Speaker 1: we're walking down the street, We're a block down the street,
Speaker 1: literally a block away, and we just probably laugh about
Speaker 1: something in common, or we just have some moment of
Speaker 1: like well we got me too, and I said, I
Speaker 1: just want to stop I know this is a really
Speaker 1: weird thing to say, but I'm like certain our children
Speaker 1: are going to know each other, they're gonna be friends.
Speaker 1: Like that's how much we're friends, Like we're like. It
Speaker 1: was my way of being like, this is for life, dude.
Speaker 1: And she was like, I know. And I told that
Speaker 1: story at her wedding, Um, when I gave a speech
Speaker 1: and I said, and I believe that that day, and
Speaker 1: it's not gonna be true because I'm barren, and I
Speaker 1: thought it would get a laugh, and no one laughed.
Speaker 1: It was everyone thought I was serious. Yeah, and I
Speaker 1: probably am. I mean I probably like Jings did at
Speaker 1: that point. But um, it could have been a Baron
Speaker 1: Trump too soon, m M. I Drumpo wasn't around. Baron
Speaker 1: might have been, but we didn't know about him. Your
Speaker 1: first party, you remember, I was, well, it's funny because
Speaker 1: I met one of my best friends ever at the
Speaker 1: same thing. First party, Glenn, I love you. You're out
Speaker 1: there you have Uh we did. Um. There was this
Speaker 1: thing called that that I think it's v a T
Speaker 1: where it was uh fraternities wouldn't make a punch right
Speaker 1: like with like one fifty one. So it was the strongest.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, David Spade has a joke about it where
Speaker 1: he goes, if you uh they practice, we go listen, Um, dude.
Speaker 1: It's like they would just be stirring at like a
Speaker 1: cauldron in a disgusting like uh you know, trash can
Speaker 1: and it was like, you know lethal the amount any
Speaker 1: They're like, dude, if you give her this much, she's
Speaker 1: gonna have a good time. Did you give her this much,
Speaker 1: she's gonna die. It's like it was like the negligible
Speaker 1: by like just yeah, yeah, that's from his first special,
Speaker 1: which I'm sorry he couldn't get away with that joke now,
Speaker 1: but like it's true. I mean that it was so bad.
Speaker 1: That's I mean literally when juice they'd make the drink
Speaker 1: and they'd be like, that's why it scoop your cup
Speaker 1: red sol cup into it. It was no, like there's
Speaker 1: no punch. It was so dirty. God, it was dirty
Speaker 1: and it tasted like kool aid. You couldn't taste of
Speaker 1: Arby's shake and it was And I remember I drank
Speaker 1: one and I was like, oh dude, this goes down
Speaker 1: so easy. And I went to Glenn and I was
Speaker 1: just like, let's have a contest. Let's say you could
Speaker 1: drink it faster. I swear to god, I drank like
Speaker 1: ten cups like of that so dangerous, And I can't
Speaker 1: believe you remember anything after that. Well, this is the
Speaker 1: thing I don't remember. Apparently at my shirt off. This
Speaker 1: is my first ever party shirt off, and apparently I
Speaker 1: was I was kind of biting people, kind of a
Speaker 1: nibble on people. Nipple. I said nipple, but you said nibble. Okay,
Speaker 1: I was nibble and nipples. Luckily your teeth are like
Speaker 1: then they were strong. Yeah, those canines actually may be
Speaker 1: sharper now from me widowing away ye, like a sword
Speaker 1: like things you do when you're black out drunk is
Speaker 1: so humiliating to hear about later on because it's such
Speaker 1: a departure from what you think you're capable of. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I bite someone sober, but not everyone.
Speaker 1: But I'm biting everybody. Apparently my brother made me leave
Speaker 1: the party. I'm I'm in the frat house and apparently
Speaker 1: I'm spitting. I'm throwing up and spitting all over this
Speaker 1: person's room that I've never met before. And then I
Speaker 1: somehow stumble back to the dorms. Is my first part.
Speaker 1: I stumble back to the dorms. I wake up around
Speaker 1: eleven AM, and my brother calls me. It's like, dude,
Speaker 1: are you all right? Like we're what's going on with you?
Speaker 1: And I'm just like, damn, the coolest thing. I got
Speaker 1: so drunk. I didn't even throw up. And he's just like,
Speaker 1: what do you mean you're spinning and sure and like
Speaker 1: that was my first number night in New Orleans and
Speaker 1: just like and then I just leaned into that character
Speaker 1: for another four years because that that guy is funny.
Speaker 1: The next day, you're like a legend in certain ways.
Speaker 1: What's this guy gonna do? Also, you get to shut
Speaker 1: off your fucking brain, like you found a way to
Speaker 1: make the thoughts, the insecurities, everything would just go away
Speaker 1: with one of those cups of stuff we gotta go
Speaker 1: to break, but we'll come back with more after this, Andrew,
Speaker 1: I'm over the shadows and through the storms, lightning and crumbles,
Speaker 1: and so'd to go the way? Oh man, that is
Speaker 1: a trip into your psyche that you know every day
Speaker 1: we get to go on a little excursion there. Um
Speaker 1: off the heels of Andrew's song in the last segment
Speaker 1: that we had, Um, did you ever drink that it
Speaker 1: was storming today pretty hard. Um Oh yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I got black out. I don't remember so
Speaker 1: much of anything in college because it was all just
Speaker 1: I don't I don't watch ephor you, but I feel
Speaker 1: like it's like one of those like flashing lights and
Speaker 1: just people's faces and like hella, like did you ever
Speaker 1: lean into that door and want to rush a story?
Speaker 1: Because I rushed what's it called? What is it called rushing? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean I was kapapa gamma. Oh I didn't know
Speaker 1: you went all the way through. Yeah, I dropped out
Speaker 1: like halfway through the year, but I went. I got
Speaker 1: in Kamma. You pledge kapaabagame, but you never were officially.
Speaker 1: I was. I was in it. I did the whole
Speaker 1: ceremony with weird leaves and like a coffin, and I
Speaker 1: believe there was a coffin. We went downstairs and there
Speaker 1: was like some kind of like thing we had to
Speaker 1: like like hold these leaves and say these weird chants
Speaker 1: and learn a handshake and do all this these ritual. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just like you know, it's like scissoring with your having.
Speaker 1: Are you are allowed to talk about this? Isn't this
Speaker 1: private was a pike and you had to put a
Speaker 1: finger here and cover up. It's so stupid. Yes, get
Speaker 1: canceled for that. I don't have any respect for any
Speaker 1: fraternity or sorry, no respect for you. None like a
Speaker 1: special charity you do. You're all just it's just a
Speaker 1: big front to look cool and to meet friends, which
Speaker 1: is a noble pursuit. But it's all to look cool
Speaker 1: and make T shirts and like, you know, get Bulimia,
Speaker 1: I get laid um. Yeah I was in Cambriana and um,
Speaker 1: but never I never told the story that I realized
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to be a good cap like I wasn't.
Speaker 1: I was doing it to make friends. It's like the
Speaker 1: same reason I do everything like Dancing with the Stars
Speaker 1: or like all these things where I get like I
Speaker 1: go one of the first pitch, like saying yes to
Speaker 1: things because I didn't want to regret it later on
Speaker 1: and be like I have no friends and be like, well,
Speaker 1: it's because you didn't do that, bitch. But it turns
Speaker 1: out all my friends did not rush, and those were
Speaker 1: my friends that I wanted to be with and everything.
Speaker 1: Like anyone in your pledge class, there's no one that
Speaker 1: you're still friends with no. Oh god, no, I don't
Speaker 1: really remember their I was like they fucking hated me.
Speaker 1: Yes I did. She was very nice. I think her
Speaker 1: name was Taylor, but um, she was really nice. But
Speaker 1: I I this was when we when we fledged day
Speaker 1: when we found out you were capas. We all loaded
Speaker 1: into this double decker bus and we are going to
Speaker 1: this park to go drink and celebrate, and we're on
Speaker 1: the top of this double decker bus and at some
Speaker 1: point I was like, hey, guys, we I hope we
Speaker 1: don't go under any low bridges because we might get
Speaker 1: decappa tated. Great joke, And this one girl goes, did
Speaker 1: you just think of that? And I was like yeah,
Speaker 1: and she was like oh And it was silent, like nothing, dude,
Speaker 1: nothing it was. And I just realized, no one's gonna
Speaker 1: give me credit for that being kind of clever and
Speaker 1: fun and like the fact, like I connected a lot
Speaker 1: of things there. We were in a bus that's not
Speaker 1: just it was like doing a dad joke that like
Speaker 1: it was a pretty skilled dad every it's still pun
Speaker 1: but it takes into a lot of things into account.
Speaker 1: So it's like, fuck you got. And then we just
Speaker 1: had to just I'm so happy that I am a
Speaker 1: Kappa Kappa game, like all these different tiers. I knew
Speaker 1: then though, that I had to get out. That was
Speaker 1: the moment where I was I just will never forget.
Speaker 1: Did you just think of that? Which for some reason?
Speaker 1: Why is that? Why is that a question anyone else?
Speaker 1: Did you just think of that? It is the answer
Speaker 1: you want? Yes or no. I never know what to
Speaker 1: give people when they say that, did you just think
Speaker 1: of that? They want you to say, I know, I
Speaker 1: thought no. I planned this. I was waiting for the
Speaker 1: perfect time, and I actually suggested we get these busses
Speaker 1: so that the joke would work because someone wanted us
Speaker 1: to get a bunch of limos, and I said, nay,
Speaker 1: that will not work for my joke. I need to
Speaker 1: be elevated to the point where our heads could get
Speaker 1: chopped off there for decapitating. I hope she's out there
Speaker 1: something about a joke at that moment to where it's
Speaker 1: like there was there a lout of silence? Was it
Speaker 1: out of nowhere? Do you feel like do you think
Speaker 1: you you sold it too hard? So I was thinking
Speaker 1: about it a little bit before of like when is
Speaker 1: this going to be a good time to say it.
Speaker 1: But I'm I'm guessing I came up with it within
Speaker 1: the seconds and I probably sat on it for maybe
Speaker 1: a minute tops, And then I think I probably I'm
Speaker 1: not an idiot when it comes to window put in jokes.
Speaker 1: I remember it being met in such a way that
Speaker 1: I go, you guys aren't cool, Like that was not
Speaker 1: on me. Maybe it was a little lame, but I
Speaker 1: know when I'm lame, that wasn't lame. That was actually
Speaker 1: fun and that should have gotten me friends. And none
Speaker 1: of you, I like, none of you. What's interesting, Like
Speaker 1: I'm thinking back at I was a pike at two Lane,
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, I've told some stories on here
Speaker 1: about it before. But I was so depressed my freshman
Speaker 1: year in college. I wasn't going to class. I was
Speaker 1: watching Rudy and one porn every day Columbine kids pretty much.
Speaker 1: I just didn't have a trend stary. That's all I
Speaker 1: can think about right now. Yeah. Um, and I was
Speaker 1: I and my I know, sheets on my bed, and
Speaker 1: I was anti fraternity. I was doing a fraternity because
Speaker 1: my brother was in the fraternity. I think about this
Speaker 1: now like maybe I was actually a little bit ahead
Speaker 1: of myself, but I didn't do anything about it in
Speaker 1: the sense of knowing that this wasn't for me. Although
Speaker 1: I do have great friends from that fraternity, But the
Speaker 1: whole idea of hazing I never hazed. Even when I
Speaker 1: became of good, that's good. I'm glad that they you
Speaker 1: made it then, because you were maybe changing that. Oh well, yeah,
Speaker 1: well plenty of kids got hazed, right. Difference trying to
Speaker 1: start a podcast and he's like, all the podcasts that
Speaker 1: are successful with three guys are all just like so
Speaker 1: BROI and like sports and like and he's like, I
Speaker 1: just don't know that we can do that. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: that's why you need to do it, because they're if
Speaker 1: they're all like that, we need you need you joining
Speaker 1: a frat, a guy that's not gonna hate is you
Speaker 1: need someone to go Actually, if we're gonna try something
Speaker 1: different and maybe no one likes it, maybe they go
Speaker 1: get out, you fucking lose. There aren't a lot of
Speaker 1: podcasts where it's just too platonic friends that are man
Speaker 1: and woman, you know what I mean, Like where we
Speaker 1: don't have an agenda and we just go boom boom
Speaker 1: boom with the news. We get through so many stories.
Speaker 1: We are on fire every day just going through the topics.
Speaker 1: Topics topics. Um yeah, I mean my point was you
Speaker 1: need to get when you aren't the same as something,
Speaker 1: it's maybe important for you to join. It's hard because
Speaker 1: you're like, I don't fit in because you don't know
Speaker 1: you know, like anything. It's like, what's my friend group
Speaker 1: going to be like outside of that? You know? Like
Speaker 1: if I decided to quit this fraternity freshman year after
Speaker 1: I just again, I gave six months to it. So
Speaker 1: now that I gave time to have like huge regrets
Speaker 1: in life, I think about this. They were talking about
Speaker 1: it on Millenny and Conan when they were talking about
Speaker 1: on his podcast, Uh well, he was talking about people
Speaker 1: that say like or Conan, I guess said like people
Speaker 1: that were like no regrets and Conan regrets working too
Speaker 1: hard at SNL and taking it too seriously and not
Speaker 1: having a little bit more fun and enjoying the process.
Speaker 1: And Millany talked about how the first time he did
Speaker 1: SNL as a host, he was in his head that
Speaker 1: everyone doesn't want me here. They look at me as
Speaker 1: a writer, They're like, why is this guy coming back
Speaker 1: to host? Like so much pressure he had like no
Speaker 1: fun the whole time and it went well. But he
Speaker 1: promised hisself even if he ever did it again, he
Speaker 1: would have fun the whole time. And he did it again,
Speaker 1: and he made sure he had fun during the process.
Speaker 1: And then he said, if the show isn't as good
Speaker 1: as it doesn't matter because I want to enjoy my life.
Speaker 1: And and they're talking about no regrets, and Milani said
Speaker 1: the funniest thing of um, yeah, no regrets. Uh that's
Speaker 1: not something we uh, we talk a lot about and
Speaker 1: there's no like no regrets rehab. He's like, that's not
Speaker 1: that's no, it's all regrets like you you should there's
Speaker 1: no regrets thing. But I do believe I have no
Speaker 1: regrets because I there's few there's fewer regrets in my
Speaker 1: life than I would think that I would have because
Speaker 1: most of my regrets have led to things that I
Speaker 1: wouldn't see happening. But there are some things that I
Speaker 1: go I wish I would have done that differently, But
Speaker 1: not a ton. Do you have any that come to mind?
Speaker 1: I think when you become successful or whatever your idea
Speaker 1: of successes and what you're pursuing, it's hard to go
Speaker 1: back and you go. If that was different, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be here exactly. So then I think it depends those
Speaker 1: kind of people say no groups, no, what do you want?
Speaker 1: I think it depends how much you like yourself at
Speaker 1: the moment that you're being asked that. I don't think
Speaker 1: it depends about that or where you're at in like
Speaker 1: whatever you were pursuing. But that being said, I mean
Speaker 1: I could go back to a time in high school
Speaker 1: where I know I could have tried harder and worked
Speaker 1: harder in regards to sports. Also school, but also mostly
Speaker 1: sports were like I just I went by because I
Speaker 1: was decent at so I didn't try that hard. I
Speaker 1: think about that too. With those kind I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I wish I wouldn't have listened to that person that
Speaker 1: said I was a good singer and started younger. And
Speaker 1: then I think maybe have already been burned out by now.
Speaker 1: Maybe I would have played and been like this, like
Speaker 1: I know so many guitarists who are just like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm good, but I just don't even play. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: the enthusiasm might have from guitar right now in my
Speaker 1: life is just I would not write that for anything.
Speaker 1: It's the best feeling in the world being this novice
Speaker 1: and like being cited about it. So in some ways,
Speaker 1: I'm like glad I didn't or like the way you like.
Speaker 1: I feel like for so long yesterday I was trying
Speaker 1: to add the podcast and watch you go live on
Speaker 1: our Instagram page Nikki Glazer Pod, and you were just
Speaker 1: going boom boom boom through all like these different genres
Speaker 1: and singing, standing, sitting. I just to I played for
Speaker 1: like three hours yesterday and it's it's and it's it
Speaker 1: sucks because I have to be on my phone doing it,
Speaker 1: and you if you go away from the live to
Speaker 1: check an email or anything, it goes blank and you
Speaker 1: lose people watching. And I just don't want to disrespect
Speaker 1: people that are like giving their time to watching me
Speaker 1: play guitar, you know, as good as I can. Um'm
Speaker 1: not gonna insult myself, but you know what I wanted
Speaker 1: to say. And so I see all these texts coming
Speaker 1: in of like from my assistant being like, hey this
Speaker 1: email I just sent you responded. I'm just like, for
Speaker 1: this moment, no one can get to me. It's kind
Speaker 1: of beautiful. It's like I'm on airplane mode. I'm on
Speaker 1: Jefferson airplane mode and sometimes I play a Jefferson. No,
Speaker 1: I don't know any of defferent airplane songs, but I
Speaker 1: it's golf. It's the same as golf. To me. It
Speaker 1: is my favorite thing to do. People that watch on
Speaker 1: our Instagram live, thank you so much for being there.
Speaker 1: I would perform for two of you. But the fact
Speaker 1: that there's a lot of times, like fifty people watching
Speaker 1: and a lot of people who are confused. Um, it's
Speaker 1: it's my favorite thing to do. I mean, I still
Speaker 1: remember you like debating on plane in front of people,
Speaker 1: and then that was kind of like the first thing
Speaker 1: you did was go on live and it gave you
Speaker 1: a confidence. The first time we were on live and
Speaker 1: I was like, can I play one song? And then
Speaker 1: you just like sing to it because it was just
Speaker 1: always like I don't want I never wanted to be
Speaker 1: like I always wanted it to which I do this
Speaker 1: with stand up to like if I feel like my
Speaker 1: stand up isn't good enough all, like have a dance
Speaker 1: at end of it, like something you can get from it.
Speaker 1: So like if you didn't like me singing, at least
Speaker 1: Andrew is gonna be funny in this. So like I
Speaker 1: would incorporate Andrew like you can get something out of it.
Speaker 1: And now at the this point, everyone that's watching knows
Speaker 1: that I don't think I'm good. I don't think I'm cool.
Speaker 1: I kicked Kyle donn again out of it yesterday. He
Speaker 1: showed up and I was like, buy gyle and I
Speaker 1: literally kicked him out because I was like, no, this
Speaker 1: is for people who know we're not gonna I mean,
Speaker 1: Kyle is so sweet and he wrote and he was like,
Speaker 1: you're so good. Why don't you let me watch? I'm like,
Speaker 1: because you're a singer song. He's a musician and a
Speaker 1: comedian and it would be a fun live with him
Speaker 1: and him play piano. Is it? You can't go live
Speaker 1: with someone? It because the delay you cannot sing with someone. Um,
Speaker 1: it's kind of a great thing because that way I
Speaker 1: don't have to like sing with I could just keep
Speaker 1: it because I just find so much. But people go,
Speaker 1: how have you gotten so much better than the last
Speaker 1: time I checked? And I'm like, this is the only
Speaker 1: thing I do. I don't practice that much outside of that,
Speaker 1: and if I do, it's so nice because I'll work
Speaker 1: on a song and I'll bring it there and people
Speaker 1: will be like, whoa, this is really good, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, practice works like it's like at least
Speaker 1: two hours. Do you know that? Right? Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: like I have to put the pot out soon. I
Speaker 1: know it's it was ridiculous. And you luckily came into
Speaker 1: the chat and we're like, hey, could you review the
Speaker 1: UM imaging for like you were like sweet, being like
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go in here and bring her in
Speaker 1: box tours like it's time you got I. Speaking of golf,
Speaker 1: I gave Andrew this UM. I bought him some golf
Speaker 1: magazines for his birthday, and I went through it and
Speaker 1: I did what my friend Taylor does, which is a
Speaker 1: great gift. If you're a funny person and you like
Speaker 1: writing jokes, going through buying a magazine and then writing
Speaker 1: things in the magazine, making like little captions, making fun
Speaker 1: of stuff in the magazine is just a really fun
Speaker 1: thing to do. So I just want you to flip
Speaker 1: through that and and maybe read some of them. I
Speaker 1: don't even remember what I did. This was, you know,
Speaker 1: April seventeen, but you know who's counting. I did her
Speaker 1: on the seventeen, is what I'm saying. Oh you did
Speaker 1: the day before? Okay, um retrodus easter Okay. Ellen Wood said,
Speaker 1: if she tack Tiger today, this would it's an ad
Speaker 1: for a golf It's an yeah, yeah, yeah, so this
Speaker 1: is an ad for a golf club. Uh. Ellen is
Speaker 1: Tiger Wood's ex wife. And what Nikki thinks the ad
Speaker 1: should be is ellen Wood said, if she attack Tiger today,
Speaker 1: this would be the club she'd used. And it's actually
Speaker 1: did you know? Did you? Is it the same kind
Speaker 1: of clumb No, But there's a second joke here that
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's called rogue, So going rogue?
Speaker 1: Who the club is called? Like that, she would have
Speaker 1: gone rogue? Okay? A blade unlike any other, Men love
Speaker 1: a try hot putter. Men love when things they buy
Speaker 1: are displayed in pieces. So it's like a deconstructed putter.
Speaker 1: It's like, so either I make a comment about the
Speaker 1: ad itself, or I act, or I put it in
Speaker 1: quotes like the add is saying it, or I put
Speaker 1: in quotes like the man in the adda saying it.
Speaker 1: So what do you mean by that? Like like like
Speaker 1: let me give you here, no no, no, like in pieces?
Speaker 1: What do you mean by that? Like Men love when
Speaker 1: objects that they want to buy are like deconstructed to
Speaker 1: be like this part goes into this and like if
Speaker 1: they buy a toaster, they want to see like the
Speaker 1: insides of it, like this is a machine like Tesla
Speaker 1: is always like I was going like really dark terminator no, no,
Speaker 1: terminator no, not like up in its guts. I was
Speaker 1: seeing like a body like Jesus. Okay, well come this
Speaker 1: John baname in my head. Alright, one size doesn't fit all.
Speaker 1: This is all for drivers, different drivers, the Stealth Driver,
Speaker 1: the Rogue and the LTD l as Nikki Road. If
Speaker 1: your club doesn't look like a Transformer Goose, then you're
Speaker 1: a little pussy bitch. Yeah, these clubs are like Transformer gooses. Wait,
Speaker 1: just show it really quick, No, turn it around. So
Speaker 1: the goose heads are. If your club doesn't look like
Speaker 1: a Transformer Goose, then you're a little pussy bits I
Speaker 1: like that one. It is it is they all are
Speaker 1: like they all look like like big man toys. Like
Speaker 1: that's what this is all about. They all look like
Speaker 1: Transformer like toys that you would buy your nephew at Target.
Speaker 1: What does that say? I probably can't read it really Wait,
Speaker 1: let me see all right, it's it's an article that
Speaker 1: no one reads. It's in the front. It's always these
Speaker 1: like long articles that are by the editor. The editor
Speaker 1: is always like, hey, I'm ted, so this week's this
Speaker 1: month's issue is really part of my heart. You know,
Speaker 1: when I first grew up in South Carolina, it's always
Speaker 1: this like something that literally no one ever reads. Or
Speaker 1: the articles about last last issue. Hanging out with Tiger
Speaker 1: all day it was so amazing. So this is a
Speaker 1: feedback we got from the Tiger WOZ article was fantastic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a this is a bubble coming out of
Speaker 1: the guy's mouth. Is this what he's saying? Yes, no
Speaker 1: one reads these ever. To prove it, I wrote the
Speaker 1: N word above below a bunch below. Yeah, well that's
Speaker 1: that's not a bad thing. No, no, no, I literally
Speaker 1: could write the N word a million times and he
Speaker 1: wouldn't get the board because no one's ever read a
Speaker 1: note from the editor. Actually, it's golf magazine where people
Speaker 1: would buy it. Um, these are missing. Okay, this is
Speaker 1: oh okay, okay, let's go to this one. It's a
Speaker 1: man and a woman. Uh, the guy standing next to
Speaker 1: his golf clubs and the woman just goes, why am
Speaker 1: I here again? I feel more warmth and affection from
Speaker 1: these clubs. And then the clubs have something to say
Speaker 1: about it. They say they leave her. John. So it's
Speaker 1: a woman next to a man who's standing next to
Speaker 1: his clubs. The woman is not why is she there?
Speaker 1: We don't know. It's just to be like I have
Speaker 1: a wife and she's probably like I'm getting in on
Speaker 1: this photo shoot John, And I like that he has
Speaker 1: two sets of clubs, Like yeah, it's like just like
Speaker 1: he probably has two sets of girlfriends too. Um so yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right, Like you just's I wish you told me this.
Speaker 1: I thought you just bought a magazine, like you know what.
Speaker 1: I thought you open it up and will be fun surprise,
Speaker 1: because I thought you would open up magazine that I
Speaker 1: what did I spent on that? Like? How much are those?
Speaker 1: It's it's a customer mountainda. Well we were. I was
Speaker 1: thinking about Canada that day. I was thinking about m
Speaker 1: the police officer. Let's get to the news. This guy
Speaker 1: is awesome. Oh boy, you heard it here first. Apparently
Speaker 1: hope for having all the swells out there. It's been
Speaker 1: a hell of a week, got a great weekend. Coming
Speaker 1: up in Boston and Foxwoods. I got four shows and
Speaker 1: two nights. I'm bringing it. I'm gonna have a very
Speaker 1: I gotta I gotta get these shows tight. You're not
Speaker 1: getting an hour and a half from old Glaze Dog
Speaker 1: because I will not be able to give a good
Speaker 1: show if I do that. So I'm keeping I'm figuring
Speaker 1: out my set list tonight and I'm gonna do a
Speaker 1: very concise boom but new jokes, rapid fire fun. Just
Speaker 1: like the news rapid fire. We're not gonna go over.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna be about one bit. There will be
Speaker 1: no but I do want if you're going to the
Speaker 1: meet and greets, um, we gotta keep it quick, especially
Speaker 1: if it's on the first show. Like, I know that
Speaker 1: that's a lot of pressure. Don't feel that pressure. Don't
Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, I don't want to waste
Speaker 1: your time. Take your time. But like, we're gonna have
Speaker 1: to make him a little bit snappier. So just think
Speaker 1: about what you want to say or don't or just
Speaker 1: wing it fucking I don't care. I love it, but
Speaker 1: make it quick, seriously, like speed it up. The family
Speaker 1: of a twelve year old boy is suing Apple claiming
Speaker 1: he has permanent hearing loss after wearing his air pods
Speaker 1: during an amber alert. It caused tonitus and now he
Speaker 1: suffers from dizziness and must wear a hearing aid. I
Speaker 1: would not, um, I would. I bet this is the thing.
Speaker 1: I mean, those amber alerts are so freaking loud and uh,
Speaker 1: you can't the volume. That's what they're saying that even
Speaker 1: though he had the volume down while he was watching
Speaker 1: like a Netflix movie or something, the amber or the
Speaker 1: amber loud comes through louder, almost like an ad for amber.
Speaker 1: Ale Um. Yeah, I mean those amber alerts and they
Speaker 1: win any kind of siren when I when a fucking
Speaker 1: fire truck comes by, plug my ears. That stuff is
Speaker 1: so damaging. I think so many people have tendedis tenitis
Speaker 1: um and suffer with it because we are living in
Speaker 1: an age of like loud. You know, since the sixties,
Speaker 1: it's been just loud music. I know, I just what
Speaker 1: you think. It's a little litigious and ridiculous. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, I I always find it interesting when
Speaker 1: these things happen and then it's like, oh, we get
Speaker 1: to sue now, or like they connected dots, like anyone
Speaker 1: that died from mesotheman noba or whatever the hell that
Speaker 1: word is. Like they're like I almost died listening to
Speaker 1: try to get through that word, and I'm going to
Speaker 1: sue you. You have tendonitis in your ears? Tis anyhow
Speaker 1: did they win? How much money are they? I know
Speaker 1: what you're saying, Like do you feel like people just
Speaker 1: get to like excited as soon as think bad episodes?
Speaker 1: And they're like suit, well that in like connecting and
Speaker 1: to the amber alert. I guess maybe the kid came
Speaker 1: in because it's like I'm sure he was like and
Speaker 1: like threw him out of his ears. So, Nikki, you've
Speaker 1: you've talked about wearing your air pods and now like
Speaker 1: they just cancel all the noise outside. You're so it's
Speaker 1: so blocked everything is I've never um, but now it
Speaker 1: makes me a little bit nervous. I'm sure they're going
Speaker 1: to update something so that it doesn't happen that way,
Speaker 1: but they do block out the noise in such a
Speaker 1: way it is. I wore them yesterday without any noise.
Speaker 1: Like you know, I was listening to a podcast something
Speaker 1: that distracted me and call came through. It didn't start again,
Speaker 1: and I just had them in my ears with the air,
Speaker 1: the noise canceling, and I was like hearing my thoughts.
Speaker 1: I was hearing my brain like making connection. I'm not
Speaker 1: kidding you. Like I felt like I was on drugs
Speaker 1: because it was so like my mama open nutcrating dum,
Speaker 1: I'm not putting with a glossop dum. I could hear
Speaker 1: like my dogs looking at me. It was so weird. No,
Speaker 1: I get that's what I was also on mushrooms, but no,
Speaker 1: I also think it's so funny that this family's like
Speaker 1: suing for the amber alert, and now amber alerts are
Speaker 1: just gonna be like, hey, there's a child can like
Speaker 1: they're no, what's good? What's that is that an amber
Speaker 1: alert doesn't sound like an alert. That sounds a lot
Speaker 1: like a whisper, a baby in a car somewhere whatever.
Speaker 1: I don't even hear it. Actually, that would get my
Speaker 1: attention more of someone's Like if my phone was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: what's that there's a baby I just got stolen by
Speaker 1: it's dad. What's the license plate? It's XR too, uh
Speaker 1: huh killer b b k k L. Then the amber
Speaker 1: alert person is going to sue that their kids didn't
Speaker 1: get found because it wasn't loud enough. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm I hate to make it about combine, but I
Speaker 1: always do. Dude, I am this book. I cannot recommend enough.
Speaker 1: I have never you know, I don't recommend things this heavy,
Speaker 1: like I recommend everything, but this is like, this book
Speaker 1: is so fucking good. I already searched the guy to
Speaker 1: go what else did he write? Guess what? He wrote?
Speaker 1: The book called Columbine. It's called Columbine, by the way,
Speaker 1: A lot of people wrote me being like, what is
Speaker 1: it called? He wrote another book park Land, So I'm
Speaker 1: just like, he's just writing all about all. He's so
Speaker 1: good anyway, Um, a lot of because of the killer.
Speaker 1: The killers killed themselves obviously at the end of it.
Speaker 1: People didn't have anywhere to put the anger and to blame,
Speaker 1: and so the guys that sold them the guns unknowingly
Speaker 1: fucking people sell guns to miners accidentally. I think the
Speaker 1: time they got he got you know, the maximum penalty
Speaker 1: and then ended up being you know, but like did
Speaker 1: they they had to punish someone, so they that was
Speaker 1: the only person that was dried for this, and then
Speaker 1: you know, their parents got sued, you know, the killer's parents.
Speaker 1: You know, people were just suing everyone after the fact,
Speaker 1: and it's just a fascinating rate. Oh my god. And
Speaker 1: I just got to the part like do you want
Speaker 1: to know why it happened? Do you want to know
Speaker 1: why he did it? Why? Eric Harris did it? And
Speaker 1: Dylan Clewold was just more of a follower than anything.
Speaker 1: He thought he was going to kill himself before it
Speaker 1: actually happened. He really didn't even want to do it,
Speaker 1: but then he forgot to kill himself or he like
Speaker 1: didn't get the nerve to kill himself, and so he
Speaker 1: was like, funk, I gotta do this. He really didn't.
Speaker 1: He only like shot like five maybe like he compared
Speaker 1: to Eric, He's not like two percent of the bullets
Speaker 1: that Eric shot. Eric was the mastermind, did he Yeah?
Speaker 1: They both killed themselves. Why didn't do you know why? Eric?
Speaker 1: He was a psychopath, which is a very interesting thing
Speaker 1: to go why is this happening? Was it about the jocks?
Speaker 1: Was it he was a nerd? He was mad about
Speaker 1: a girl. He know he was a psychopath, always go
Speaker 1: to murder, but he was a murderous psychopath, which is
Speaker 1: a small percentage of psychopaths. But this goes back to
Speaker 1: and they are incurable. Okay, but people go and I
Speaker 1: get giving someone that's mentally insane, I feel like we
Speaker 1: give him like the benefit that like, oh he's not
Speaker 1: going to jail. He was, you know, he complete insanity,
Speaker 1: but the jocks didn't play play insanity. Oh and he
Speaker 1: had nothing he didn't care about talks. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: my I'm saying though, like a lot of times we
Speaker 1: separate those two things. I feel like, yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: it was definitely like you know what I'm saying, the
Speaker 1: fact that he was able to get guns helped the
Speaker 1: fact that he was able to uh yeah, and I'm
Speaker 1: sure he's mad at someone he was a psychopath. But
Speaker 1: other things leg no, no, no, he I mean, yes, things,
Speaker 1: things lead to things, but he yeah, those things would
Speaker 1: not affect him if he weren't a psychopath. I go
Speaker 1: back to my point of all this is that so
Speaker 1: this buffalo shooter that happened I was fucking horrendous and
Speaker 1: fucking had the N word on his gun. He had
Speaker 1: someone that whatever he was insane racist that was people
Speaker 1: are claiming people then go, he's a psychle Like Tugger
Speaker 1: Carlson didn't take any blame even though he fucking puts
Speaker 1: his ship in people's heads. He goes, well, he was
Speaker 1: a psychopath, and then once you hear something, it's like
Speaker 1: it's a way to like go well, oh, then it's
Speaker 1: a way to get out of it. Well, all the
Speaker 1: racist ship was still there. He's also a psychopath. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they pick an avenue. I mean Eric Harris was a
Speaker 1: racist too. He was completely into being a Nazi. He
Speaker 1: used the N word all the time throughout the shooting
Speaker 1: throughout What kind of nazi is not a cycle bath? Like?
Speaker 1: But that's the thing. It's like psychopaths, Well, if they
Speaker 1: are said on destruction, like and are these two different
Speaker 1: types of psychopaths are the ones that commit mass murder
Speaker 1: like this? Uh, there's many different psychopaths, but there's two
Speaker 1: types that they've found that are like the ones that
Speaker 1: do this. They it they'll find they will be racist.
Speaker 1: I mean it's I know these you know Fox News
Speaker 1: and Stuthing that definitely got in this kid's head. But um,
Speaker 1: without his I'm not saying it's an excuse. Without him
Speaker 1: being a psycho, Carlson can't even help the fact that
Speaker 1: he's a fucking idie. It, Like, I almost don't blame
Speaker 1: him for that I'm not. I don't blame literally anyone
Speaker 1: for anything. I just think it's unfortunate because there's no
Speaker 1: free will, and i'm you know, operating on that level.
Speaker 1: It still makes people still make me mad, and I
Speaker 1: still go like, fucking you need to be stopped. But
Speaker 1: no one can help the way they are. And it's
Speaker 1: so interesting just to hear that. You threw this throughout
Speaker 1: this whole book, You're just going why did he do this?
Speaker 1: Where was his motive? He had a good life, he
Speaker 1: was a he was a cute kid, He got laid,
Speaker 1: he had a job like and it was because he
Speaker 1: had an extinction fetish. He wanted to like, he wanted
Speaker 1: the whole world to burn, and he wanted to bring
Speaker 1: about the extinction of man. He hated humans. He was
Speaker 1: he saw himself as a god, not God, but a
Speaker 1: godlike And it's fascinating that it's just a really I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to spoil it for you that he's a psychopath,
Speaker 1: but it is an interesting part of the book where
Speaker 1: you go why because he seems to have compassion, even
Speaker 1: people that watched I mean, sorry to there's this thing
Speaker 1: a catalyst. No, no, it was always it was always
Speaker 1: gonna end this way. He became. Yeah, he became more
Speaker 1: and more. There were different things that happened when he
Speaker 1: got He got arrested at one point, and that made
Speaker 1: him really angry. He um, he his one of his
Speaker 1: friends got a girlfriend. Like there were things like that
Speaker 1: that pushed him along. But um, they're almost There's a
Speaker 1: part of the book where they said they went through
Speaker 1: his journals and they read, well, if it wouldn't have
Speaker 1: gone this way, here's another way it could have gone.
Speaker 1: Because he was already writing about fantasies of raping and
Speaker 1: ripping girls throats with his mouth and crushing their skulls
Speaker 1: like visceral, disgusting things that I mean, he would have
Speaker 1: turned into a a Damer or a Ted Bundy type
Speaker 1: Like this was like, what's gonna break? Sorry to get
Speaker 1: so much into this, but it's such a good funk.
Speaker 1: I'm so fascinated. We're gonna breaking come back with fantas
Speaker 1: We're back. We're gonna skip this sports moment today. We're
Speaker 1: just gonna get right to fantex. We got too much
Speaker 1: to get through. Let's do it. One guy angry, like
Speaker 1: picturing a guy with one of those finger things and
Speaker 1: he's like one time a week. Now he's a psychopath
Speaker 1: shooting come on. Okay, wait, So I wanted to start
Speaker 1: off with the letter that we got um an email
Speaker 1: to the Nicky Gleser podcast at gmail dot com. Okay,
Speaker 1: and uh it comes from bestie Sarah. Photo of you guys.
Speaker 1: Oh cute that was in um? Where was that? That
Speaker 1: was that in Stand Francis? Maybe? Uh? New Jersey? Oh
Speaker 1: that was last week? Okay? Cool? Okay, so she goes. Hi, Nikki.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to write in and say thanks for
Speaker 1: such an amazing show in Montclair. I had the best time.
Speaker 1: You and Andrew both killed it. Okay blah blah blah
Speaker 1: at the meat and greet. I also wanted to give
Speaker 1: you a little plug to encourage other besties to attend
Speaker 1: your show alone if they can't coordinate something with friends.
Speaker 1: I was really nervous beforehand, but as soon as I
Speaker 1: sat down, I met another bestie and we hit it
Speaker 1: off right away. It was exactly what you said when
Speaker 1: we instantly had so much to talk about because we
Speaker 1: both love the pod. Then throughout the show, it was
Speaker 1: so fun to have someone to turn to and laugh
Speaker 1: with when you reference something we heard on various episodes. Yes,
Speaker 1: so anyway, thanks again for all you do. Love you
Speaker 1: bestie XO xo. Sarah's connection kind of story through you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like it's that's that warms my heart so much,
Speaker 1: And I so appreciate people just like having the nerve
Speaker 1: to go do something that might be scary for them
Speaker 1: to go alone and then to strike up a conversation
Speaker 1: with someone else going on. It's just really cool and
Speaker 1: using that probably should say it off air, but because
Speaker 1: it could probably be impossible to do, but like a
Speaker 1: st section like all the people that do it would
Speaker 1: be so fun and don't tell him though and have
Speaker 1: them figure it out. But no, no, it could be
Speaker 1: really cool. It would be fun to have like a
Speaker 1: little section where they you just we direct certain things
Speaker 1: to them, and then it would get other people that
Speaker 1: don't know about it to be like, what is this thing?
Speaker 1: I want to know what is Anti speaking of? So
Speaker 1: I was watching you on with um what's his name Kevin?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, on KFC Radio KFC Radio, Yes, and he
Speaker 1: brought up cut and it was so funny because at
Speaker 1: first he just kind of kept talking, but then you're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a word that I use and it was
Speaker 1: so he liked its incredible. I was what I thinked
Speaker 1: about it was that he wasn't like he just got
Speaker 1: it immediately and was, you know, just tickled by it.
Speaker 1: And I really appreciated that response as opposed to being like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is so weird girl with a weird word. But
Speaker 1: it's like, choogie is another word that the kids are
Speaker 1: using that means kid. You know, we're we're talking yesterday
Speaker 1: about Taylor Swift saying, um, things are cringe, but it's
Speaker 1: just me, oh, he gives me the ick. But choog
Speaker 1: e h e u g y is a thing that
Speaker 1: kids are saying a lot that you know, gen z is.
Speaker 1: But it's I think if like really took, I've just
Speaker 1: wanted to took all um who said could to me yesterday?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah I ran into a bus down the street
Speaker 1: yesterday and she was like I think she mentioned cut.
Speaker 1: I mean, I just love anyone mentioning cut because it
Speaker 1: really is a thing. And especially in the barstool world,
Speaker 1: I mean, oh yeah, they want to call out every day,
Speaker 1: those guys fucking c ship or here ship. That's so
Speaker 1: BROI and so just like fantastic that they're like really like,
Speaker 1: just because you're involved in it doesn't mean you don't
Speaker 1: see the dumb ship. Kevin Clancy, I do like because
Speaker 1: he he knows that Barstools cat and like there's a
Speaker 1: I like those guys some Twitter where someone was calling
Speaker 1: them out for going back I'm liking Big Jay's song
Speaker 1: about you or something. Oh yeah, well he apologized to
Speaker 1: me for not defending it during the during the Legion
Speaker 1: of Skanks. Oh you said it, you said it. I've
Speaker 1: heard that they are mad that I'm not addressing which
Speaker 1: podcast it was. It's Legion of Skanks. If you want
Speaker 1: to hear them talk about I still have people like
Speaker 1: I went Live with Rachel the other night on Instagram,
Speaker 1: people were like, alright, peebop sag it. Like I could
Speaker 1: see like those guys like making fun of me. Um no,
Speaker 1: I Big j and I are actually hitting the road
Speaker 1: with brit Chrisher this summer and we got we got
Speaker 1: some plans and we are don't worry about us. We're
Speaker 1: doing just fine. No, it was nice of Kevin to
Speaker 1: say I should have stood up for you. I mean
Speaker 1: he was It's hard, and maybe maybe he was just
Speaker 1: saying that that's fine too. I don't call him, call
Speaker 1: him a gass kisser. I don't give us Columbine, Columbine,
Speaker 1: it's so funny. Oh my god. Okay, the next story
Speaker 1: boom boom. Okay, let's go to Emily. Since we're on
Speaker 1: the subject of Hi, Nikkio and Andrew. I'm Emily from Denver, Hi,
Speaker 1: and I wanted to share a potential co with you.
Speaker 1: It's actually perpetrated by me. And I'm afraid to tell
Speaker 1: anyone else about this because I think it comes off
Speaker 1: so caa. But I joined a band and after a
Speaker 1: lot of our shows, like drunk strangers, strange guys like
Speaker 1: will come up to me kind of expecting a hug,
Speaker 1: like opening up their arms for a hug, and kind
Speaker 1: of touchy and talking to me like they've never seen
Speaker 1: a girl playing guitar before. It's just so annoying. Um.
Speaker 1: But I feel like if I were to tell anyone
Speaker 1: else this, it sounds like I'm just complaining that people
Speaker 1: are just so into me because I'm such a cool rocker,
Speaker 1: right and I just have to beat them away with
Speaker 1: the stick. But it's really not like that. I just
Speaker 1: feel like I just have to deal with these drunk
Speaker 1: guys punishments because I want to play guitar on stage. Um,
Speaker 1: but I'll defer to your your judgment, Cat and I'll
Speaker 1: wait sencing because they're well, they're they're they're just trying
Speaker 1: to get laid and trying to I mean, as a
Speaker 1: female comic, people always want to go like, you're the
Speaker 1: only female comic good like or like. I don't like
Speaker 1: female goes. But you're people like, and they're not a lot.
Speaker 1: We don't see a ton of female I don't know
Speaker 1: what guitar, lead guitar whatever, you never you don't see
Speaker 1: a lot of female shredding as much as you do
Speaker 1: men and the whole idea of lead guitars. Keith Richards
Speaker 1: fucking to do Dramara Smith the other guy? God, will
Speaker 1: you send me? I want to see you, know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Guys do it in Denver. I have friends
Speaker 1: in Denver. I'll have them come see you. That's so cool.
Speaker 1: But no, I don't think you because I often talk
Speaker 1: about things like, oh I have a lot of people
Speaker 1: saying this to me, or I've got recognized here, and
Speaker 1: it's like you're just stating facts you're not saying a
Speaker 1: lot of times people do say that stuff to be cool.
Speaker 1: But sometimes it's just a fact. And it's like some
Speaker 1: people get mad when I'm like, well I'm a little
Speaker 1: bit more famous now so this they go, oh, why
Speaker 1: are you saying that? It's like, because it's true. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying I'm fame like I'm Angelina Jolie, but it
Speaker 1: is true. More people know who I am that I
Speaker 1: don't know, so that equals true. So it doesn't just
Speaker 1: because if it's it's cool if you're saying it to
Speaker 1: be cool. But if it's true and you're just stating
Speaker 1: a fact to support another statement, not so I d
Speaker 1: M you not gavel not. Yeah. And she also like
Speaker 1: some people it comes off but they're just they're feeling
Speaker 1: embarrassed or if they're they're feeling insecurity and hugging you,
Speaker 1: they're not being cult. They just don't want to hug you. Like.
Speaker 1: That's I think people forget that sometimes that people can
Speaker 1: come off as like to cool to care for school, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they might be scared of journeys. Also a lot of
Speaker 1: times besties, I'll be like this person hated me, and
Speaker 1: then afterwards they write me and they're like, I got
Speaker 1: so nervous. I don't know what's saying. I'm like, I
Speaker 1: never ever think someone hates me now when they're like
Speaker 1: a little bit weird, don't worry. You will not offend me.
Speaker 1: If you don't know what to say and you're like,
Speaker 1: I should probably think I'm an asshole. I know so
Speaker 1: much now that that usually means they like you a
Speaker 1: lot or I just protect myself in that way. So
Speaker 1: um not alright, So up next, we have been with
Speaker 1: a little bit of information for you since you talked
Speaker 1: about this recently. Hey, Nikki Andrew, this has been big
Speaker 1: fan of both of you. I appreciate this podcast and
Speaker 1: puddles and hook to golf with Andrew that sometime in
Speaker 1: my lifetime, at some point in my lifetime, I was
Speaker 1: listening to the most recent episode owed where you were
Speaker 1: talking about how much of soul ways and I've been
Speaker 1: an I See you nurse for several years. Several and
Speaker 1: multiple families have asked me to weigh their family members
Speaker 1: as they were on comfort care and dying, so like,
Speaker 1: while they're on a morphine drip and they're still breathing,
Speaker 1: they'll have me weigh them. And then when they're declared
Speaker 1: Claire dead by myself and the doctor, then they'll have
Speaker 1: me weigh them too. Uh yeah, to see. I think
Speaker 1: it was like they wanted seven or something. Um and yeah,
Speaker 1: so far from me, the weight has never changed. Um
Speaker 1: and yeah. I had never heard about it until the
Speaker 1: family member asked me to to do it on you know,
Speaker 1: the way, their way their family member. Interesting. Anyways, I
Speaker 1: was just thinking about thinking about you guys in that scenario.
Speaker 1: That's all I have for you, Wow, Jack Russell. What
Speaker 1: people ship theirselves when they die? Oh, but the ship
Speaker 1: would be on the scale with them if they were
Speaker 1: like if the scale was the bed, you know, or
Speaker 1: I was thinking the morphine drip could like add to
Speaker 1: them if a little drip. Also, I think it's I
Speaker 1: think it's not something that would be negligible on a
Speaker 1: regular scale. I think it's like Grahams, which is like
Speaker 1: the size of like, you know, a few feathers. I
Speaker 1: think that's what like a soul ways, it's something there's
Speaker 1: some movie called something Grahams and it's Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: don't think that's right. I think that was twenty one
Speaker 1: Jump Street is what I was thinking of. I just
Speaker 1: combine thirty three dresses. What was that dresses? I don't
Speaker 1: know maybe yeah, your soul wass twenty seven wedding dresses. Um, okay.
Speaker 1: Next that that guy, I really man, I want to
Speaker 1: know his story. I want to know the things he's seen,
Speaker 1: what's brought him there? What? And how does he not
Speaker 1: see it at night? And how does he how does
Speaker 1: he separate the two things. I don't understand how people
Speaker 1: can parliamentalize. I never understood how my dad could do it.
Speaker 1: That book that I read about hospice care nurses or
Speaker 1: Chaplin was so good and talked a lot about it.
Speaker 1: All right, thank you, ben Um. We want to hear
Speaker 1: more from you, and we hope you're doing okay. You'd
Speaker 1: be a great guest. Oh yeah, like end of life
Speaker 1: stuff talking to him. But seeing I see you nurse
Speaker 1: fuck yeah, okay, maybe we'll have him one nurse. Um,
Speaker 1: see you, nurse Colin Bine and I see you nurse ahead. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean we're on a roll today, heads rolling, okay,
Speaker 1: alright now, Next fan trax Okay, next fan trax is
Speaker 1: from our bestie Jordan's Oh j Hi, Nikki and Andrew
Speaker 1: and Noah. I hope that all three of you are
Speaker 1: feeling all of the freaking swells today. UM. I just
Speaker 1: uned yesterday and I realized it is the first birthday
Speaker 1: in a really long time, UM that I was not
Speaker 1: like overly sad or crying on my birthday, which is
Speaker 1: honestly really rare. I thought that everybody is sad or
Speaker 1: overly emotional on their birthdays. UM, but then I found
Speaker 1: out for my friends, so that is on our own.
Speaker 1: So anyway, UM, two parts of the question. One, I'm
Speaker 1: curious if any of y'all feel overly sad or dramatic
Speaker 1: or just emotional on your birthdays. And too, if you
Speaker 1: had a song or a song lyric that you think
Speaker 1: fully encapsulates, um, your twenty five of your life. What
Speaker 1: would it be, something that encapsulates your five or that
Speaker 1: you wish you knew at what would be? What a
Speaker 1: good question? Anyway, I love you guys so much. This
Speaker 1: podcast has truly changed my life. I'm so so so
Speaker 1: grateful for you guys, so so much. UM, don't be
Speaker 1: just um Jordan hap Um. Okay, First, do you guys
Speaker 1: get emotional on your birthdays? I think I don't. If anything,
Speaker 1: I go to the other way and I try I
Speaker 1: don't make a big deal out of it. Usually is
Speaker 1: it to avoid the emotion maybe and to avoid the
Speaker 1: people like celebrating you and like talking about probably and
Speaker 1: just you're older that and maybe I just don't want
Speaker 1: to talk on the phone on my birthday. Yes, oh
Speaker 1: my god, there's those things. But yeah, I definitely I
Speaker 1: don't get too emotion I don't think like, oh another year,
Speaker 1: Like I don't go that deep with it. Usually I
Speaker 1: wonder what Jordan's If we could figure out what Jordan's
Speaker 1: getting sad about, I'm sure there's something deeper than just like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's just my birthday gets sad like you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, it's and it's if she does it every
Speaker 1: year and it always has been this way as long
Speaker 1: as she can remember. She's a young girl. It's not
Speaker 1: about aging, I doubt. I doubt it's about it might
Speaker 1: be about like aging out of childhood. Maybe it started
Speaker 1: for her that but um or another year she was
Speaker 1: thirty five, I could see her being like I could
Speaker 1: sad because that's when people start going, I'm old even
Speaker 1: though you're so fucking not. But um, And I say
Speaker 1: that as a Roman who is about to be thirty
Speaker 1: eight in like a week. And I I will say,
Speaker 1: though I get really sad on my birthday because it
Speaker 1: means it's almost over and I don't and I don't
Speaker 1: believe look forward to my birthday. I don't even look
Speaker 1: forward to my birthday anymore. I don't like I'm not
Speaker 1: It's almost like a burden because I have to do
Speaker 1: something and I have to like answer but you calls
Speaker 1: and text and stuff like that. It's it's left over
Speaker 1: from childhood of being so excited about my birthday, a
Speaker 1: day all for me, fun, presents, all the things, and
Speaker 1: just that residual um hangover of like so much fun
Speaker 1: and now it's over and I have to wait three
Speaker 1: sixty five days, sixty six if it's a leap here
Speaker 1: for another one. And that's so like this year, I'm
Speaker 1: doing karaoke on my birthday, but I'm doing it my
Speaker 1: birthdays on Wednesday. I'm doing it on Tuesday because I want.
Speaker 1: I don't want to feel sad at the end of it,
Speaker 1: like at least tomorrow is my birthday and it's not today.
Speaker 1: Some people do birthday months. I'm trying to bring in
Speaker 1: a birthday year. This year, it's my birthday. I celbert
Speaker 1: the whole year that every year it's my birthday. Um, Noah,
Speaker 1: what do you what do you feel about birthdays? You're
Speaker 1: someone who's kind of like yeah, So, UM, I think
Speaker 1: even though I would probably want to say I'm not emotional,
Speaker 1: I think the fact that I don't like I try
Speaker 1: to push down my feelings about birthdays means that I
Speaker 1: am emotional. Yes. And Um, I had a huge breakthrough
Speaker 1: because I did the hypnosis thing last day about like
Speaker 1: being like center of attention and all that stuff, and um,
Speaker 1: I just I had a memory of when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, like maybe thirteen or something. Um, I don't
Speaker 1: have to like, I don't know if I want to
Speaker 1: go all the way into it, but I connected the
Speaker 1: two about me wanting to be like not wanting to
Speaker 1: be center of attention or not having eyes on me
Speaker 1: and stuff. And basically the reason for it is because one,
Speaker 1: I'm a middle child, so I was always craving attention,
Speaker 1: but whenever I got attention, it was always because it
Speaker 1: was always negative, because it was always like if I
Speaker 1: did something bad or you know, just like a negative
Speaker 1: comment or something. So it's like you crave it so much,
Speaker 1: but when you get it, it makes you feel bad.
Speaker 1: So I'm avoiding it as an adult, because I my
Speaker 1: brain thinks that whatever it's gonna be, it's gonna be bad. Yes,
Speaker 1: if they do see me, if they do attend to me,
Speaker 1: they'll see that I'm doing something wrong if they look
Speaker 1: too closely, Like if I do get seen, because in
Speaker 1: the past I've been seen what I'm doing something wrong. Therefore,
Speaker 1: if someone looks at me, they'll start to notice she's
Speaker 1: actually not that cool, like something wrong that's interesting. And
Speaker 1: the whole thing with like the wedding dress and stuff
Speaker 1: and not wanting to do a wedding or anything. I
Speaker 1: just could not believe the memory that came to me.
Speaker 1: So I'll I'll tell you real quick. When I was
Speaker 1: a kid and we moved to this country, I only
Speaker 1: got hand me downs from my cousins who were had
Speaker 1: big breasts. I was like the skinny little thing. Nothing
Speaker 1: ever fit me. My mom used to so close together
Speaker 1: for me, and she was not a seamstress. It was
Speaker 1: just like I just looked so gross. I just hated
Speaker 1: when she sold me stuff. So we had one big argument.
Speaker 1: She made me wear this like velvet black dress that
Speaker 1: she sewed, and it just looked so lopsided. And we
Speaker 1: were supposed to go to like the ballet, and I
Speaker 1: just remember having so much apprehension about being outside and
Speaker 1: people seeing me in this ugly fucking dress that she
Speaker 1: made for me, and um, that is connected to my
Speaker 1: ill feelings about being in a wedding dress because I
Speaker 1: had no control over what dressed. That you were out
Speaker 1: of control and that was going to give you attention
Speaker 1: which you already were scared of getting. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I was just like, I can't be outside. I don't
Speaker 1: want anyone to see me like this. I just wanted
Speaker 1: to like crawl into a hole and die. It's so wild.
Speaker 1: So that came up out of nowhere, that memory, Like
Speaker 1: you had not thought about that since then? I haven't
Speaker 1: thought about that dress. And that was how hypnosis. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got brought up because I love it were under
Speaker 1: hypnosis when they got brought up, Like did you say
Speaker 1: that verbally and the guy bring sets it back to
Speaker 1: you or what happens? Yeah, So it's like a whole process.
Speaker 1: You talk through stuff and then um, you know, she'll
Speaker 1: she'll count down. And I felt like I was like
Speaker 1: partly awake and I was just trying to like whatever
Speaker 1: the first thing that came to my mind that's what
Speaker 1: I would say, And that was the first thing that
Speaker 1: came to my mind, that that memory. I love that
Speaker 1: because it's it's again no free will, like you can't
Speaker 1: control your thoughts. I love when a thought of cursed
Speaker 1: to you where you're like, I don't know where that
Speaker 1: came from, that just like came out of fucking nowhere,
Speaker 1: which literally every thought comes out of nowhere. But when
Speaker 1: you really feel like, well that was somewhere, this memory,
Speaker 1: and it just served up, and like, I think that
Speaker 1: gnosis can really let you see how much and also
Speaker 1: meditation you aren't in control of your thoughts and that
Speaker 1: things come up that you might need someone else to
Speaker 1: help you, like give clear the passageways for those things
Speaker 1: to come up because they're trying to get through and
Speaker 1: they might not be able to and you're repeating behaviors
Speaker 1: to yah and those thoughts. It's definitely being exposed to
Speaker 1: meditation and having done it, even though I haven't done
Speaker 1: it for a while, which I probably should get back to.
Speaker 1: Reason why makes me? It makes me think about why
Speaker 1: I don't like birthdays either. And I'm a middle child
Speaker 1: as well. But I think if I had to connect
Speaker 1: the dots, the bar Mitz. I was kind of happy
Speaker 1: about them. My parents were officially divorced. And any time
Speaker 1: there was an event where it had to have both
Speaker 1: parents there, it had to be organized. One had to
Speaker 1: do it, the other one didn't. It was always there
Speaker 1: was a lot of anxiety leading up to it. S
Speaker 1: your mom get nervous. You would see just like it
Speaker 1: would just be a whole thing. That's definitely maybe through
Speaker 1: hypnosis of Noah got hypnos final thought, can you come
Speaker 1: to my birthday next? I think it's next Tuesday. It's
Speaker 1: to tuesdays from now. Well, Chris is going to find
Speaker 1: some room to get Karrie. He it was so funny.
Speaker 1: He wrote me a list of people. He was like,
Speaker 1: I wrote a list of like people to invite to it.
Speaker 1: I have, like I have no friends in this town,
Speaker 1: and I'm not asking for any because I'm a little
Speaker 1: like backed up, But I've got I might I might
Speaker 1: put out the like I might say Bestie's invited. I'm
Speaker 1: going to see how big the space is and what
Speaker 1: we can do with it. Um but again it's gonna
Speaker 1: be I like karaoke, because I want to do every
Speaker 1: song and I don't want Bettie's just have come and
Speaker 1: watch me and my f But if that's something you
Speaker 1: might be into knowing that your song might not get
Speaker 1: picked because the priority is going to be my be
Speaker 1: and my family. No offense. Um that I love to
Speaker 1: have and we and I would definitely hug you and
Speaker 1: take pictures and talk to you and accept your gifts.
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. Um. Yeah, maybe I'll put it on
Speaker 1: Instagram live too. That's a good idea because it would
Speaker 1: be Oh my god, my parents and me doing karaoke.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be so fun. My mom always hurts my
Speaker 1: feelings because I want to sing a song with her
Speaker 1: and she just wants her own song. And I think
Speaker 1: karaoke is something that you can do with someone no no, no,
Speaker 1: like with people you like no. I know, I'll sing
Speaker 1: with Bessie's yeah, like and I think that's that actually
Speaker 1: is better because I think karaoke is so embarrassing to
Speaker 1: be like when you're really belting something out and trying
Speaker 1: to like own the room like an American Idol audition,
Speaker 1: it's like you like said no, she was like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to sing with you. I want my own song,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, okay, Actually I would never sing
Speaker 1: with you unless you were my daughter. Exactly hurt. My
Speaker 1: mom goes, you know they made me say that. I
Speaker 1: don't know they did it. No one, no one even
Speaker 1: knows that that's the thing that you could even possibly think, Nikki.
Speaker 1: I was given them what they wanted. When I said that,
Speaker 1: I was given them what they wanted. No, Mom, no,
Speaker 1: you weren't. You were being honest. It's okay, you're you
Speaker 1: wouldn't be a fan of mine. But I know, my
Speaker 1: mom is you didn't see the card, Nick, My god,
Speaker 1: I know it's it's so I've been in that situation. Mom.
Speaker 1: They did not ask you to do that. You could
Speaker 1: have said any number of things, supportive things actually, and
Speaker 1: that would have been fine too. He chose to say
Speaker 1: a thing that no one would have even come up
Speaker 1: with of, Like the thing they wanted you to say
Speaker 1: was if she wasn't my daughter. I could enjoy this,
Speaker 1: but it's hard to listen to my daughter talk like
Speaker 1: a porn star. But instead she gave them If she
Speaker 1: wasn't my daughter, I still wouldn't like this. The only
Speaker 1: reason I'm here is because she's a mother. Always bothers
Speaker 1: me about being a mother or being family is that
Speaker 1: they love you just because they your family. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I want to earn it. I want you to love
Speaker 1: me because I'm nice and I'm fun and I'm funny,
Speaker 1: like I don't like with everyone else though then that
Speaker 1: get that is the beauty of unconditional love right too?
Speaker 1: Because I didn't I didn't do anything like I understand like,
Speaker 1: but I want I want my mom to like me
Speaker 1: for me, just because I came out of her. That's
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. So there is an episode coming
Speaker 1: up I think where I go, Mom, why do you
Speaker 1: like having me home? And she cannot come up with
Speaker 1: a reason. Got I think is a sugar substitute that
Speaker 1: has no calories. Um oh yeah, Zeba, alright, one more
Speaker 1: fantast of your time. Sure, Actually this is right on
Speaker 1: on subjects right, Okay, So here's a voicemail from Anna, Hey,
Speaker 1: Nikki Andrew, Noah, my name is Anna, and I just
Speaker 1: wanted to come on here. I don't have a script,
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna sound like a crazy person because I
Speaker 1: have a d D and I'm gonna go all over
Speaker 1: the place and I just know it. But I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm listening to myself put some advice on how to
Speaker 1: set boundaries with my mother specifically, because I just feel
Speaker 1: like she's still trying to keep me in her little
Speaker 1: child bubble, you know what I'm saying. Even though I
Speaker 1: just graduated and became a fucking doctor, she still is
Speaker 1: just acting like I'm her little daughter and wants to
Speaker 1: know what I'm doing all the time and wants to
Speaker 1: know when I'm leaving town to come visit my hometown,
Speaker 1: which is about an hour and a half away, And
Speaker 1: I just I can't anymore, and I just need some
Speaker 1: help on how to address it. I know that I
Speaker 1: rely on you guys kind of for a lot of
Speaker 1: different advice because I feel like people ask the same
Speaker 1: sorts of questions that I do. But anyway, I also
Speaker 1: wanted to say a thing that my mom does because
Speaker 1: I'm just annoyed and like going off in my head
Speaker 1: about her a little bit lately. And it's the Costco cards, man,
Speaker 1: the Costco like showing your little membership card when you
Speaker 1: walk in the door. It's so cup like they don't
Speaker 1: even look up even to you. But you have to
Speaker 1: have it hard to get in, Like if you don't
Speaker 1: have it, no one care. You don't get in. It's
Speaker 1: just so it's so cringe that we're like flashing this
Speaker 1: little card like below our belts and it's just so weird. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I love you guys so much. Oh my god, and
Speaker 1: jack Off, I love that I got off. She's fun.
Speaker 1: Um Okay, I think Anya actually gave me or you
Speaker 1: some good advice BacT stage, we were talking about something
Speaker 1: related to this, where someone is like really annoying you
Speaker 1: with something they're doing. You just go. I love you too.
Speaker 1: I know you love me, and I know this is
Speaker 1: how you show it, but it's pushing me away. And
Speaker 1: I love you so much and I love that you
Speaker 1: want me in your life and that you want to
Speaker 1: know what I'm up to all the time. But I'm
Speaker 1: just letting you know that you know if anyone did
Speaker 1: this to me, and I know that you're my mom,
Speaker 1: and I know you can't help it, but I'm telling
Speaker 1: you I can't help that. I know you can't help
Speaker 1: it because you're my mom and this your instinct, but
Speaker 1: I can't help that. This is making me resent you
Speaker 1: and I want to love you, and I know this
Speaker 1: is coming from love, and so I give you the
Speaker 1: benefit of the doubt. But I'm going to have to
Speaker 1: say to you, I I'm this is this is making
Speaker 1: me so every time your name comes up on my phone,
Speaker 1: I roll my eyes. And I don't want to feel
Speaker 1: that way about my mom. And I don't and I
Speaker 1: and it doesn't have to be this way. Here's a
Speaker 1: way that it doesn't. So how about we you you
Speaker 1: just give her certain things that are off limits, like
Speaker 1: I've I've had to do this with my mom with
Speaker 1: certain things where it's like, you, please don't call me
Speaker 1: when you're drinking. I just don't. And then if she
Speaker 1: calls me and she and I can send she's drunk,
Speaker 1: I hang up the phone immediately, because that's a rule
Speaker 1: we've established. It's good for our relationship. I get triggered,
Speaker 1: even if she's being so loving and fun and like
Speaker 1: she's not really she's had one glass of wine. I
Speaker 1: can hear her voice. It makes me upset, and I
Speaker 1: hang up the phone. And if she texts me when
Speaker 1: she's drunk, I can tell that too. I sometimes engage
Speaker 1: because it's fun. But you know, my mom does not
Speaker 1: have a drinking problem, or like my mom does not,
Speaker 1: her drinking is not does not do to me what
Speaker 1: it used to do, but because it upsets me so
Speaker 1: much and I know it's gonna set me off and
Speaker 1: I cannot help that. It's my problem, not hers. I
Speaker 1: set the boundary of if you're gonna drink, it's so fine.
Speaker 1: I don't give a funk. If you drink, have so
Speaker 1: much fun, but I'm not going to be around it.
Speaker 1: But I do not judge you, and I want you
Speaker 1: to do it. I'm not going to take it as
Speaker 1: like you love drinking more than me. I just can't
Speaker 1: do it. And it's really just it's been a great
Speaker 1: thing for our relationship. Actually, I feel like, yeah, setting
Speaker 1: boundaries there is something to you know, she became a
Speaker 1: doctor like you. I feel like we get we all
Speaker 1: we have all these moments in our life where we're like,
Speaker 1: I'm an adult now. Now my parents are going to
Speaker 1: treat me like an adult because I accomplished this. And
Speaker 1: what you learn is you're still their kid and you're
Speaker 1: always be in their eyes unless you go, look, you
Speaker 1: have to say something. They're not just going to learn
Speaker 1: on their own because they still see you just like
Speaker 1: you saw you see your mom and dad is like
Speaker 1: whatever age they were, they see you as a fourteen
Speaker 1: year old kid that you know you just graduated middle
Speaker 1: school exactly, So I think you just gotta go. Look, mom,
Speaker 1: I'm this many years old. Scope actually works, it's all
Speaker 1: a plastic play school one. But also also I would
Speaker 1: urge our bestie to remember that this is how her
Speaker 1: mom shows her that she loves her. I love you too, Mom.
Speaker 1: That's what Anna said to say, Like when someone's doing
Speaker 1: go Like if someone's like, hey, did you do you
Speaker 1: do that thing? Yet? Hey did you do it? Like
Speaker 1: bugging about something, just go, I love you too. This.
Speaker 1: I know you're saying that because you love me, but
Speaker 1: I for some reason that one that really bothers me.
Speaker 1: So you gotta set boundaries with your mom. I feel
Speaker 1: like I've been going on too long. But we got
Speaker 1: to close up the show. We always do it with
Speaker 1: a rap, and that was that, and this is that.
Speaker 1: I don't really know what else to say. There's a
Speaker 1: llama and a hedgehog sitting in my way. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: toss it over to Andrew because it's his turn, and
Speaker 1: you know what, we've got less than to learn. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta tell your mom that you know a lot
Speaker 1: about tonsilitis and all the organs. And ship tell her
Speaker 1: to back off. Say look, mom, I got it. Tell
Speaker 1: her look I could get into an R rated movie now.
Speaker 1: I don't need you to hold my hand. Your dumb bitch,
Speaker 1: don't say that that was a joke. But if your
Speaker 1: mom holds up that Costco card again, you know what
Speaker 1: to say. Call your friend Larry and he'll funing call
Speaker 1: her a bit. Make sure you get those free samples
Speaker 1: at Costco because that's good. Alright, guys, don't be cool
Speaker 1: and uh, we'll see you this weekend in Boston in Connecticut.
Speaker 1: I think tickets are still on sale. We are also
Speaker 1: on tour all next week as well and up until
Speaker 1: July four, pretty much. So check out those dates and
Speaker 1: we'll see you on Monday. Je Different grumby Old Men,
Speaker 1: Classic Two Guys