WEBVTT - inVESTed 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:05.199 Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya ret An iHeartRadio podcast. 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:13.760 Hello everybody, we are screwed rubbing in. 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:17.040 That indeed we are, Becca Tilly, do you know what 0:00:17.040 --> 0:00:17.560 what I feel like? 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:19.200 It's gonna be a good day. Do you know why? 0:00:19.400 --> 0:00:19.759 Tell me? 0:00:20.239 --> 0:00:21.279 Because the vest is on. 0:00:21.560 --> 0:00:26.040 The vest is on, and I feel like my best 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:27.600 self in this vest. 0:00:27.840 --> 0:00:29.400 You feel your best in your vest. 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:30.960 I feel my best in my vest. 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:31.520 Yeah. 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:34.879 Yeah, it's like a would you say it's like a 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:36.320 security blanket. 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:37.200 It's funny. 0:00:37.200 --> 0:00:39.800 It feels to me like a like a sleeping bag, 0:00:40.440 --> 0:00:42.440 you know. And it's been if you're not listening in 0:00:42.479 --> 0:00:45.200 Los Angeles, it's been June gloomy, and it's been cold. 0:00:45.280 --> 0:00:47.479 It's just been cold. And so for me, if I 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:48.839 walk out of the house with just a little T 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:51.920 shirt on, I'm freezing. I put this bad boy on 0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:53.400 and I'm like Superman. 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:57.000 Yeah, but it's only covering like the the center of 0:00:57.000 --> 0:00:57.480 your body. 0:00:57.520 --> 0:00:58.560 Your arms are exposed. 0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.600 Yes, But you know what's interesting when I wear puffer 0:01:01.680 --> 0:01:02.959 like I have puffer jackets that. 0:01:02.920 --> 0:01:03.880 Are like have sleeves. 0:01:03.960 --> 0:01:04.760 Uh huh. 0:01:04.840 --> 0:01:07.200 I get a little too warm in those. Having your 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:09.360 armpits exposed is the key. 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:11.880 Okay, yeah, she's a vest queen. 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:14.080 She's a vest queen. I should get it in more colors. 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:15.240 Yeah, I'm in. 0:01:15.360 --> 0:01:17.680 I got an Amazon invested too. 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:20.039 It's like not like an expensive little piece and I 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:20.800 wear it all the time. 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:22.520 I should get it in white and brown and. 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:24.640 Oh yeah, I can't wait to see them view and 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:29.800 new colors evolution, same fit, different colors exactly. But it 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:33.560 has been uh quite dreary, and I do feel like 0:01:33.640 --> 0:01:35.959 it's taking a toll on me. I didn't think I 0:01:36.040 --> 0:01:38.479 needed the sun as much as I really need the sun. 0:01:38.760 --> 0:01:40.400 Yeah, it's a mental thing. 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:42.560 Yeah, I mean it makes sense, like I think people 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:46.560 are really really going through it with seasonal depression these days. Yeah, 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:48.520 I wouldn't say I'm at that point, but I do 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:51.560 feel like I would love like a warm, sunny feeling 0:01:51.600 --> 0:01:52.200 on my face. 0:01:52.360 --> 0:01:54.320 You're gonna get it in a couple of days, I think. 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:54.880 So. 0:01:54.960 --> 0:01:59.200 They say the before the weather app I've been like 0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:00.080 to before. 0:02:01.360 --> 0:02:02.080 What's going on? 0:02:02.480 --> 0:02:06.320 Well, I will tell you that, Uh, I am the owner, 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:07.880 proud owner. 0:02:07.920 --> 0:02:09.680 I hate this thing on the back of our phones, 0:02:09.840 --> 0:02:11.360 like just triggered me. 0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:16.400 I know, I am the proud owner of a chic 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:17.280 squatty potty. 0:02:17.320 --> 0:02:20.799 Now, oh my gosh, whoa, it's wood. 0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:23.200 It's Woodn't it folds so that I don't have to 0:02:23.240 --> 0:02:25.160 have it on my potty? 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:25.920 Yes, he did. 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:30.520 After he saw the social media posts from last week's episode. 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:32.400 He bought me this. 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:34.440 Bad boy is so romantic. 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:36.680 Yeah, romance, aid its finest, you know. 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:39.480 No, seriously, like that is so thoughtful. And he got 0:02:39.520 --> 0:02:41.440 He didn't get you an ugly plastic line. 0:02:41.480 --> 0:02:44.640 He got you. She like, y'all should get it engraved 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:48.839 what I was talking about. We have these. 0:02:49.320 --> 0:02:53.880 You can hold yours up these like octo. Mine's an octo, buddy? 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:55.840 What is your mind's a sticky grippy? 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:59.200 Is it to like stick on to it on like 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:01.400 a mirror so you can film? But to be honest, 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:03.320 sometimes mine slides. 0:03:04.080 --> 0:03:07.680 Well you can't just stick it on any surface. Yeah, 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:10.400 oh it does. Yeah, and so mine is not mine 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:13.720 is stuck like met you okay, and. 0:03:13.680 --> 0:03:19.480 Then but then if you set it down on any surface, yeah, I. 0:03:19.480 --> 0:03:23.239 Thought it was like a fidget thing like like no, yeah, 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:24.320 like a little bubble popper. 0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:27.239 I prefer that this is not it. 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:28.320 Yeah. 0:03:28.720 --> 0:03:31.359 So anyways, that's my review on that, And now I'm 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:32.360 just stuck with the case. 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:34.720 It gets stuck to every surface, so I gotta switch 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:35.160 on it. 0:03:35.160 --> 0:03:37.160 It's been so helpful for me. Have you not noticed 0:03:37.160 --> 0:03:39.400 that I've been like doing more mirror videos. 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:43.360 I haven't noticed, but I will pay attention attention next time, 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:45.200 so much better. 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:45.800 I love it. 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:47.520 I love this little sticky grippy. 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:50.600 Okay, great, Maybe I should switch brands. Maybe I got 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:51.880 the wrong brand of mine. 0:03:51.680 --> 0:03:52.440 Does not slide? 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:52.800 Yeah? 0:03:53.280 --> 0:03:56.200 Sticks? Okay, okay, okay, yeah. 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:56.800 I'm listening. 0:03:57.840 --> 0:03:58.720 I'll do the link. 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:03.160 I wait, I saw you at Okay. 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:04.320 So, first of all, what's going on with you? 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:06.160 Nothing? 0:04:06.240 --> 0:04:06.560 Really? 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:09.800 Just same old, same old, same old, just living chilling. 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:10.840 No news is good news. 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:13.560 Do I have any news? 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:15.600 Have you been watching Love Island? 0:04:16.200 --> 0:04:16.400 Oh? 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:21.720 No, what's going on there? Tell me? 0:04:21.880 --> 0:04:22.680 I'm loving this? 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:24.760 He's datings together? 0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:28.240 Are Mitchell and uh Mollie still together? 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:29.960 So funny you ask? 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:30.680 They are? 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:30.919 Not? 0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:33.560 Actually, well, they didn't really break up, but he basically 0:04:33.560 --> 0:04:35.320 said because she wants to stay open, and he's like, 0:04:35.320 --> 0:04:36.440 I feel like you're not giving. 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:38.080 Me the respect that I'm giving you. 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:39.680 I'm giving you, so like, if you want to date 0:04:39.680 --> 0:04:41.120 other people, that's fine, and if you come back to 0:04:41.160 --> 0:04:42.960 me and I'm still here, then that's fine. But I'm 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:45.920 not going to like partake and be giving you all 0:04:45.920 --> 0:04:48.120 of me when your like head is turning all over. 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:50.760 Oh my god, that's what I just watched the other day. 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:51.880 I'm like, one episode behind. 0:04:51.960 --> 0:04:53.640 Is she into anyone else? Or she's just like, oh, 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:55.680 I want to be open to the possibility of someone coming. 0:04:55.839 --> 0:04:57.440 She's open like this one guy just came in took 0:04:57.480 --> 0:04:59.279 her on a date and she's like kind of into him. 0:04:59.320 --> 0:05:00.880 And then this other guy like kissed her in a 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:01.920 challenge and she's like. 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:02.919 Ooh he's cute. 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:06.719 So yeah, Wow, that's the whole thing, you know, bigger 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:09.279 better syndrome. Everybody just wants bigger better. She's got a 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:11.760 great guy in front of her, but she wants bigger better. 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:15.640 That's so sad. We actually, uh, Temptation Island is back long. 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:18.040 We should have Mark back in the studio. I love Mark. 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:19.000 I like Mark too. 0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:20.159 You just like him? 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:21.080 I love him? 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:22.960 Yes, I said I love him and he said I 0:05:23.040 --> 0:05:26.960 like him? Which Mark Wahlberg Mark Mark Mark al Wahlberg, 0:05:27.040 --> 0:05:28.440 the host of Temptation Island. 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:32.840 We love but the show started again this jew watch 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:35.680 it We watched last night, followed by Jojo and Jordan's 0:05:35.720 --> 0:05:40.120 new show, The Big D talk about just absolute chaos 0:05:40.640 --> 0:05:43.719 and like just bringing your Well, The Big D's different 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:46.320 because they're already divorced, and so do you know the 0:05:46.360 --> 0:05:47.080 concept of it. 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:50.240 They're divorced and then they're like dating other people. 0:05:50.279 --> 0:05:52.279 So they're in they're living in a house with other 0:05:52.360 --> 0:05:58.359 divorced couples, but they're basically like watching their ex and 0:05:58.400 --> 0:06:01.040 they're in the same room to sleep for. 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:02.640 This is what I want to know. That's like what 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:03.320 I need to know. 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:06.640 Well, here's the this is It's actually an interesting social 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:10.719 experiment in my opinion, because you would imagine that people 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:13.000 who have been divorced for a good amount of time 0:06:13.040 --> 0:06:15.000 like these aren't people like a couple of weeks off 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:18.240 of divorce. This is like months to years divorced, and 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:19.719 you would think that they would be at a point 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.279 where they're like, Okay, I want to see you move on, 0:06:22.440 --> 0:06:25.440 and I'm ready to move on, like let's have this experience, 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:31.599 you know, and they you can tell it's really hard 0:06:31.760 --> 0:06:34.039 for people to watch who felt certain that maybe this 0:06:34.200 --> 0:06:38.039 wasn't their person, to watch them have experiences with someone 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:41.000 else or or maybe be a better version of themselves 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:44.960 with someone else. Like imagine all you wanted was for 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:47.680 your your husband or wife to do blah blah blah, 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:51.800 and they wouldn't do it story for someone else. 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:53.320 Yeah, it's like a crab. 0:06:53.320 --> 0:06:55.480 I it's like a mental But that's. 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:57.320 What I'm saying. Who is signing up for? This is 0:06:57.360 --> 0:06:57.920 what I need to know? 0:06:58.160 --> 0:06:59.720 I don't know. I don't know. 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:02.120 And same with Temptation Island, Like I'm like, who. 0:07:01.960 --> 0:07:05.880 Is Temptation Island? Yeah, I'm just like this is Doomsville. Yeah, 0:07:05.920 --> 0:07:08.239 everyone who goes on Now, I'm like, you're doomed. 0:07:09.200 --> 0:07:12.080 Some couples make it, though it's very well not. 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:14.440 I'm not saying not make it, because some people will 0:07:14.480 --> 0:07:18.400 choose to be like, yeah, I went to this experience 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:20.200 and I learned that I wanted to leave with you, 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:23.320 but they still like end up. Well, is it called 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:25.760 cheating if you're on the show, I don't know, they 0:07:25.840 --> 0:07:26.360 end up hooking. 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:29.280 It's not when you're on that show. 0:07:29.400 --> 0:07:29.560 No. 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:31.200 Yeah, But the whole point is not to give into 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:35.680 temptation or to give in and break up, yeah, or 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:38.360 to be like, Okay, who I came with is in 0:07:38.440 --> 0:07:41.880 the person for me? Yeah, I don't know. I for 0:07:41.920 --> 0:07:44.160 one will not be signing up for any of those shows. 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:45.200 No, not at all. 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:47.920 No, Hayley would like look at someone in a certain way, 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:49.560 and I'd be like, who is she? 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:53.440 Yeah, I would not like that. Not for me. 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:58.720 Yeah, you and I would not thrive there. No me. 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:01.720 My past self was my past. 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:04.160 Self, the old version of Becca. 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:08.400 Yeah, she was a cool gal. I miss her. Do 0:08:08.440 --> 0:08:09.400 you miss her? Yeah? 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:10.160 Really? 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:10.880 Of course? 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:15.960 She was so like chill, yeah, unfazed Hanna. 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:19.160 I was like Hannah at one point. I miss her. 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:22.800 Hannah makes me miss her a lot because I'm like 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:26.120 Hanna's reminds me so much of how I was when 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:26.720 I was dating. 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:30.920 Anything someone did, I'd be like, and. 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:32.079 But why do you miss her? 0:08:32.360 --> 0:08:35.760 She was so cool? Hanna is so cool cool. I 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:37.880 have no feelings. I wish I had more feelings. 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:41.320 Yeah, well I thought that too. Just wait, I hope 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:44.320 what happened to me? I hope you can hold on 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:45.240 to some of your cool. 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:50.079 Is so sad. I have like a devil and an 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:51.480 angel on my shoulder now. 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:58.000 Yeah, my feelings, My feelings. 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:00.720 Are so beautiful. No, I love feelings, but I wish 0:09:00.760 --> 0:09:01.240 I had that. 0:09:01.320 --> 0:09:02.480 I wish you could feel less. 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:05.920 I mean, guess some of the independence that I felt 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:08.360 during that you have never felt that, So. 0:09:08.400 --> 0:09:10.000 You don't know. You don't know what it's like to 0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:10.559 miss it. 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:12.319 Never felt it. 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:15.800 You're unfamiliar with the independence. 0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:17.560 It's unfamiliar Territoryhy. 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:20.600 It's probably blissful for you because you know nothing else. 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:24.520 For me, I'm like, I have something to to look 0:09:24.559 --> 0:09:24.960 back on. 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:27.679 Yeah, I'm like that felt safe. 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:30.280 Yeah, and now you feel unsafe. 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:34.280 No, it's like you could get you know, that's the heartbroke, 0:09:34.640 --> 0:09:35.000 heart broke. 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:36.200 Yeah, that's the whole thing. 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:38.720 That's that is the risk of falling in love. 0:09:38.800 --> 0:09:40.319 But that is the beauty. 0:09:40.520 --> 0:09:45.719 And the sadness and the dichotomy of life. 0:09:46.320 --> 0:09:47.480 You just don't know. 0:09:48.280 --> 0:09:50.760 Yeah, and I also realized that I. 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:52.600 Love. 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:55.840 I also felt like I had control at that point. 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.520 Correct, And now that you're out of control when you 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:01.040 fall in love, you lose that sense of control. 0:10:01.320 --> 0:10:03.559 Yeah, so there's that too, And it's beautiful. 0:10:03.559 --> 0:10:07.040 It's like you're like floating and flying, but are you 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:08.240 going to have a hard landing? 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:14.120 Oh my god, it's getting really dark. But it's getting 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:14.920 really dark in here. 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:17.080 But you know what, No, I'm just saying that that 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:19.920 is like there's there that you're right. Dichotomy is a 0:10:19.960 --> 0:10:20.880 great word for it. 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:24.160 It is interesting though, because I feel like, you know, 0:10:24.920 --> 0:10:27.440 we are at a place just in society in general 0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:29.800 as women, where like before, let's say fifty years ago, 0:10:29.800 --> 0:10:32.440 even probably less women had to get married in order 0:10:32.480 --> 0:10:34.320 to like buy a house and to open and have 0:10:34.360 --> 0:10:35.840 a credit card and all these things. But like we're 0:10:35.880 --> 0:10:38.520 at a place now where we as women we can 0:10:38.640 --> 0:10:41.840 be alone forever. We don't need a partner to do 0:10:41.920 --> 0:10:44.720 anything in life, right, Like we can have a sperm 0:10:44.760 --> 0:10:46.640 donor to have a baby, Like we don't need any 0:10:46.720 --> 0:10:51.040 we don't need a man. And it's interesting because I 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:53.400 know some people that feel that way, like they're like, 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:55.400 I feel like a man's gonna slow me down in 0:10:55.440 --> 0:10:58.480 my career. I feel like a man's gonna slow me down, 0:10:58.559 --> 0:11:00.360 like in the way that I parent, to be able 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:01.800 to parent my child the way that I want to, 0:11:01.840 --> 0:11:04.640 I don't want to compromise in that. And there's so 0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:08.440 much beauty in that. But then there's also so much 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:11.520 beauty with like going through life with somebody, you know 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:13.840 what I mean, and like working through those things with somebody. 0:11:13.880 --> 0:11:18.280 So it's like they're they're equally both beautiful in their 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:19.040 own way. 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:23.200 This is the path you choose, is this is the 0:11:23.280 --> 0:11:24.400 grasses greener thing? 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:27.360 Yeah right, yeah, I. 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:31.839 Mean it's in every aspect of our lives. It's getting 0:11:31.880 --> 0:11:35.640 a pet knowing also, I wanted to acknowledge Marty because 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:38.160 we didn't. We haven't paid our respects to Marty, and 0:11:38.200 --> 0:11:44.360 I wanted to say that. I even thinking about that 0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:45.440 with Phoebe. 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:49.080 I can barely go there. So I wanted to say sorry, because. 0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:54.080 Yeah, we had a poodle out my wife and I 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:58.000 named Marty for the last like seven years, and we 0:11:58.200 --> 0:12:01.480 said goodbye to him recently about a month ago, a 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:06.880 couple weeks ago, and it was, you know, sorry, having 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:11.960 a pet with someone is. Marty was there through all 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:14.320 of our big Like we got him right when we 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:16.360 moved in together, so he was like around when we 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:18.800 got engaged and are getting married and buying our house, 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:20.679 and like we were watching videos of like when we 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:23.160 bought the house we let Marty into, like like oh 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:24.880 you have a backyard now, and like we watching videos 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:26.960 of him like runing around the house. And that was 0:12:27.000 --> 0:12:29.280 really hard because we've saw so much of our relationship 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:33.640 in like represented by this like fifteen pound poodle. So 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.280 it was he hasn't been doing very well the last 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:37.600 couple of years, so we thought it was the right 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:41.240 thing to do. But it's still very hard. And thank 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:44.480 you for saying something. It's very nice of you and 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:47.240 all as scrubbers sent me nice messages. Yeah, I thought Marty, 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:50.040 but you know you guys both have dogs. You know 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:50.320 you know that. 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:52.160 I didn't bring it up because I don't think I could. 0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:54.520 I would not want to talk about it. I would 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:58.880 literally just shove it into a dark hole, like literally 0:12:58.960 --> 0:13:00.840 like thinking about it when you were like posting about 0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:03.720 it and I reach out to you guys, I can't 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:06.920 even imagine that, Like I literally can't and I'm like 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:10.160 getting teara I just like thinking about it. So I'm sorry, 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:13.040 And if you like don't want to talk about it, no. 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:17.160 It's we I like we took like that entire weekend 0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:20.920 and we just like sadden it, you know, like, uh, 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:25.240 it's it's so hard because when you get an animal 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:29.520 like that, that's guarantee. Like yes, when we first got Marty, 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:31.360 we were like so in love with him and we're 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:33.120 both started talking like oh god when he when he 0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:35.480 dies it's gonna be a rough day, and Allison said, 0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:38.199 they're they're beautiful. Little tragedy is waiting to happen. 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:40.120 That's what that's that's so dark. 0:13:40.280 --> 0:13:42.000 And so someone tweeted I saw a couple of years 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:44.880 ago saying, like buying a dog is the happiest day 0:13:44.920 --> 0:13:47.600 when you're like just guaranteeing you're gonna be absolutely devastated 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:51.560 like later on down the red Uh, but uh, the 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:54.320 memories we have with him will always be there. And 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:57.640 we have so many videos of that, of that little dog, 0:13:57.840 --> 0:14:02.400 and uh, you know, it's it's it's hard. It's hard 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.800 being sad about something that you Usually when you're sad 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:07.599 and you don't want something to happen, you're like, I 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:09.680 will do anything in my power to make this not happen. 0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:13.800 But he was so it was it was we called this, 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:16.000 Uh there's a service that comes to your house to 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:19.040 do it, and they were really sweet and they were saying, like, 0:14:19.080 --> 0:14:21.520 this is the most compassionate thing you can do, because 0:14:22.440 --> 0:14:24.760 he's just gonna be in more pain. He's being more uncomfortable, 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:27.880 like he was sleeping like almost all day when he 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:30.760 was like he's had this cough for like a year. 0:14:30.840 --> 0:14:33.480 We've taken him to every specialist in town, like everyone 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:36.200 knows Marty around something California, because we've just brought him 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:39.240 everywhere and we could not fix it. I think he 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:42.400 had a tumor in his nose. But it was one 0:14:42.400 --> 0:14:43.480 of those things where I'm like, this is the right 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:44.520 thing to do, this is the right thing to do. 0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:46.160 I'm so sad about it, but this is the right 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:47.640 thing to do. And that was something I hadn't really 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:51.400 dealt with before, like you know, like not like making 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:53.360 a decision and feeling good, like feeling like it's the 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:55.240 right thing to do, but feeling so it feels like 0:14:55.240 --> 0:14:57.880 when you're breaking up with someone, you know, like when 0:14:57.880 --> 0:14:59.440 you're like, oh, I have to break up with this person. 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:01.320 I'm so sad about it, but I know that, like 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:02.360 this is the right thing to do. 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:04.000 A friend of mine just put her dog down, and 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:07.040 she said the same thing because like he had dementia 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:10.480 and so his body was like physically okay, but he 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:13.880 was just completely gone and like his life was just 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:15.880 like a horrible life that he was living, and so 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:17.640 she'd made the choice to put him down. But again, 0:15:17.680 --> 0:15:19.600 it was that same thing of like you have to 0:15:19.640 --> 0:15:21.960 make that choice for them, and it's because they can't speak, 0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:24.240 they don't you know, and so it's like so hard 0:15:24.280 --> 0:15:25.360 and you just carry a. 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:28.240 Lot of guilt and like I just can't imagine. 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:31.240 Well, yeah, yeah, this nice woman came to our house 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:32.520 and like I saw her like getting out of the 0:15:32.520 --> 0:15:34.640 car and walking up, I just started slobbing asously like 0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:37.720 parked the car. But uh, but it was it was 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:39.080 really special, Like he got to be you know, he 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:40.600 was in his own bed and like we were like 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:43.120 as we were saying goodbye to him, was like we 0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:47.120 were like petting his head. But uh, but he's he's 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:50.280 very missed. But we're excited to be able to go 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:52.680 out of town with having to get a babysitter worry 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:56.880 about someone whizzing all over our carpet. That's nice, but 0:15:56.880 --> 0:16:00.720 but Marty's very very missed. And thank you for the 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:01.280 kind words. 0:16:01.360 --> 0:16:03.920 I just wanted to acknowledge the goodest boy. 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:05.240 He's such a good boy. 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:10.080 But that's life, That's what I'm saying. It is. 0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:15.960 It's like the highs you're you're setting, it's like you 0:16:16.000 --> 0:16:18.400 are taking the risk of heartbreak. And I know it 0:16:18.440 --> 0:16:22.080 sounds depressing, but just life and it's the beauty of 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:23.640 it you beauty. 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:26.280 Yeah, yeah, it's just so beautiful it is. 0:16:26.320 --> 0:16:28.640 There's beauty and love, and there's beauty and pain. 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:35.560 It's like you get one when you lose someone trying. 0:16:35.560 --> 0:16:37.120 It's hard to find the beauty of pain. 0:16:37.240 --> 0:16:40.360 But there's a quote I love, which is what is 0:16:40.400 --> 0:16:44.080 grief if not love? Perseverance? And that is spoken by 0:16:44.120 --> 0:16:47.960 the vision from one Division. It's from a marvel thing. 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:49.320 But I thought that was beautiful. 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:49.600 You know. 0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:52.480 It's like when you lose, when someone dies or you 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:55.320 lose someone in your life and you're grieving that loss, 0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:57.720