Speaker 1: I won't let my body out me outwait everything that
Speaker 1: I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 1: I'm learning love who I am, I get, I'm strong,
Speaker 1: I feel free, I know everybody of me.
Speaker 2: It's beautiful.
Speaker 1: And then he'll always out way if you feel it,
Speaker 1: but you.
Speaker 2: She'll some love to the food by you have.
Speaker 1: There, say good day and did you and die out?
Speaker 3: Hey hey leanne here and I hope you enjoyed this
Speaker 3: series with doctor Chip Dodd. Here on outweigh and if
Speaker 3: you want to learn more about how I teach my
Speaker 3: own clients to turn off the part of their brain
Speaker 3: that's obsessed with food, obsessed with their weight, and rewire
Speaker 3: their own brain for peace and freedom, then head on
Speaker 3: over to Stressless eating dot com, where I've literally peeled
Speaker 3: back the curtain and walked you through the exact strategy
Speaker 3: I teach my clients to heal themselves from the all
Speaker 3: or nothing diet mentality for good, but without restricting themselves,
Speaker 3: punishing their bodies, and definitely without ever having to use
Speaker 3: words like macros, low carb or calorie burn. It is
Speaker 3: all over there for you to access over at stressless
Speaker 3: seeding dot com.
Speaker 4: Happy Saturday at Way, we are here back with doctor
Speaker 4: Chip DoD.
Speaker 5: Hello, Hey, how good see you again.
Speaker 2: Yes, glad to have this momentum.
Speaker 3: If you missed the first two weeks, definitely go back
Speaker 3: and check it out. The first part of this series
Speaker 3: we talked about what addiction really is, what it isn't
Speaker 3: and then last week we talked about why we actually
Speaker 3: numb and the real reasons that we avoid pain and
Speaker 3: seek comfort.
Speaker 2: And on both of.
Speaker 4: These episodes we got obviously the emotional.
Speaker 3: Heart side of it, because that's where we're learning, is
Speaker 3: where it starts and it ends right and where there's
Speaker 3: really no starter end but no ending, i should say.
Speaker 3: But then we also got into the neuroside of it
Speaker 3: and the logic and reason side of it, and to
Speaker 3: help you meet your logic and reason brain with your
Speaker 3: emotional spiritual side. So now that you have this new
Speaker 3: awareness of what the problem is and what the problem isn't,
Speaker 3: we're going to the next two episodes we're going to
Speaker 3: talk about what does healing look like? So this week
Speaker 3: we're going to talk about healing from the inside out
Speaker 3: and learning to actually break free from the need to numb.
Speaker 3: So we've talked about in the past couple of weeks,
Speaker 3: why willpower alone doesn't work, and how breaking free from
Speaker 3: that numbing starts with its true understanding where it's really
Speaker 3: coming from. And we went into depth about where it
Speaker 3: comes from, which is really the heart right and that
Speaker 3: brain heart kind of dance that's going on right now,
Speaker 3: and how you recognizing these unhealthy coping mechanisms and learning
Speaker 3: to decode what is actually being told. And we talked
Speaker 3: about the dopamine oxytocin connection and really just the need
Speaker 3: to be needed but not giving ourselves permission to be
Speaker 3: needed and to need and the self sufficiency that comes
Speaker 3: alongside that. But then also it becomes an identity, and
Speaker 3: we also feel shame about our shame and that all
Speaker 3: the stuff that's happening within that paradigm. And so now
Speaker 3: let's talk about how do we shift from avoidance to
Speaker 3: awareness and then obviously the healing side of it without
Speaker 3: like we talked about going back in our old the
Speaker 3: skeletons are emotional graveyard, and we talked to a little
Speaker 3: bit about how we yes, there's a bit of embracing
Speaker 3: the discomfort and not relying on the short term gratification track,
Speaker 3: which is easier said than done right.
Speaker 2: So how do we start.
Speaker 4: Moving into healing, moving from avoidance to awareness? Big loaded
Speaker 4: question that is fantastic.
Speaker 5: I want to back up just a little bit. I
Speaker 5: love you said decode, and you also said shame about
Speaker 5: our shame, and so it's amazing how far removed we
Speaker 5: get from being able to identify our true selves. We
Speaker 5: have shame about our shame, and then we say we
Speaker 5: shouldn't have shame about our shame, which has a third
Speaker 5: level of shame. By the way, I would love for
Speaker 5: everybody to back the episode up and just listen to you,
Speaker 5: because you are power packed with literally accurate expression of
Speaker 5: how we're made and what we're made to do and
Speaker 5: so on. So I just hope that people will continue
Speaker 5: to come back to any episode you do. And he
Speaker 5: says a genuine affirmation, not because I'm on your podcast,
Speaker 5: but I mean that you're really bringing a wanting and
Speaker 5: a desire for people to get what they need so
Speaker 5: they could be set free to go live the lives
Speaker 5: they're made to have. Because other people's lives get blessed
Speaker 5: when we dare to take the journey into healing, because
Speaker 5: we become a place that other people can find what
Speaker 5: they're looking for. And man, look, other people out there
Speaker 5: are alone because we're along with ourselves, and other people
Speaker 5: out there are every bit just like us. No matter
Speaker 5: how much they look a certain way and we internally
Speaker 5: feel a certain way, they feel the same way. And
Speaker 5: if we would just dare to say, hey, do you
Speaker 5: somebody else is going to say, yeah, me too. Like
Speaker 5: we refer to the woman last time and who went
Speaker 5: to her meeting and she looked around the room, Will
Speaker 5: me too? I didn't know that could be so close
Speaker 5: so fast as the people I've never met before. Yes,
Speaker 5: this episode, I want people, if they would, to go
Speaker 5: to chipdawg dot com hit free resources and go ahead
Speaker 5: and download. It's two little bitty expressions. One's called the
Speaker 5: Amazing Gift of Feelings. I'm talking about like three fourths
Speaker 5: of a page. Please, you can read that much even
Speaker 5: in today's fast moving climate. And the second one is
Speaker 5: the eight core Feelings and their purposes. Okay, because that
Speaker 5: is the doorway into the rest of our lives with healing,
Speaker 5: and we know that we our job is to come
Speaker 5: back to living fully and then just simply live until
Speaker 5: you die, but live fully until you die. Because everybody's
Speaker 5: going to so there's no end to the journey. There's
Speaker 5: a reawakening and then acquiring the skills of living so
Speaker 5: that you end up riving to be somebody who can,
Speaker 5: who is recognized that they're gifted, and there's a world
Speaker 5: in need of our gifts versus just a shame. And
Speaker 5: maybe someday, if I work hard enough, I'll be worth something.
Speaker 5: You're already worth something, but you forgot you're already worth something,
Speaker 5: but it was suppressed. You were already worth something, but
Speaker 5: somebody told you you weren't, And whoever that was was
Speaker 5: important enough for you to hide your heart and put
Speaker 5: your willpower and thinking in front of it. And so
Speaker 5: the willpower and the thinking took over. For how God
Speaker 5: made a person to be to use their brains to
Speaker 5: express their hearts rather than using their brains and willpower
Speaker 5: to hide their hearts. Because once your heart is committed
Speaker 5: to something, you will will follow, and once your heart
Speaker 5: is committed to something, your mind will engage in attending
Speaker 5: to it. But anyway, it all starts with the amazing
Speaker 5: gift of feelings. So how do we heal? We have
Speaker 5: to take a risk of facing that our feelings are passwords.
Speaker 5: They help decode the mechanism, the push button thing to
Speaker 5: let us inside ourselves. So feelings are passwords that let
Speaker 5: you in yourself on your computer. If you know your passwords,
Speaker 5: Think about the times I've lost my passwords and I
Speaker 5: freak out so I can't get in to my whatever. Anyhow,
Speaker 5: I wound up being so helpless that I want to
Speaker 5: numb out, run away, escape, you know, jump off a building,
Speaker 5: you know, just quit whatever it is I've had planned
Speaker 5: to do. So feedings are passwords, and they are also lanterns.
Speaker 5: So once you get in, they show you around, and
Speaker 5: they're also keys. They don't they unlock rooms in a
Speaker 5: mansion that we left behind and never learned how to
Speaker 5: grow into. So I want you to know who our
Speaker 5: true selves are, so much bigger than we even know.
Speaker 2: It's an abandon.
Speaker 5: Yes, it's an abandoned mansion and it is. And there's
Speaker 5: one room that we locked a long time ago. It's
Speaker 5: full of light French doors. In the back, there's a
Speaker 5: there's a grand piano in there, even we don't we
Speaker 5: don't even play. The first is covered with sheets. We
Speaker 5: just take the sheets off. But what's amazing is the
Speaker 5: one thing that's not uncovered. There's a vase of flowers
Speaker 5: sitting on that grand piano with clear water, a clear
Speaker 5: vase and fresh flowers picked that morning that still have due.
Speaker 5: That means somebody's been coming into that room, waiting and
Speaker 5: hoping on our return. In other words, there was a
Speaker 5: home we left because on some level we foreclosed on
Speaker 5: our hearts or orphered our hearts. So returning to the
Speaker 5: feelings now upon the doorway of the human heart, there
Speaker 5: are written eight words. I mean, I know it sounds
Speaker 5: overly simplistic, but it isn't. There are eight feelings sad, hurt, lonely, shame, song.
Speaker 5: You can look them up, but each one is a
Speaker 5: tool that allows us to step into what are our
Speaker 5: needs and what's through our desire? What are I long for?
Speaker 5: What our hope? It's a return to how it remade,
Speaker 5: which is what addiction and even our coping skills take
Speaker 5: us away from. We try to cope in such a
Speaker 5: way that we don't have to feel or become addicted
Speaker 5: that don't even know what we fit right. So returning
Speaker 5: starts to come with believe or not we learn four questions.
Speaker 5: Here are the four questions. Once you kind of get
Speaker 5: familiar with taking a risk of believing you do have
Speaker 5: feelings and they're kind of eight of them, and at
Speaker 5: first you may not know the eight. But here's how
Speaker 5: you can find the eight. You can say, I don't
Speaker 5: know what I feel, but what would another human being feel?
Speaker 5: In other words, you can picture yourself being somebody else.
Speaker 5: What would that person feel in this situation? Because we've
Speaker 5: spent most of our lives externalizing, watching other people to
Speaker 5: see what we need to.
Speaker 4: Do, being emotionally available to other people.
Speaker 5: Yes, so you could say, well, what would that person feel?
Speaker 5: Then you can know for yourself. Or you could say
Speaker 5: what would a child experience? And actually identifying yourself as
Speaker 5: what having been one, so you can externalize it first.
Speaker 5: Another way of doing it is describe what it's like.
Speaker 5: You shape a metaphor around the feelings. Say now, what
Speaker 5: is this picture telling me about feelings? What are the
Speaker 5: feelings being described? So you get closer. You can also
Speaker 5: believe or not. I think we've overdone the body in
Speaker 5: some ways, but thank god we're actually paying attention to it.
Speaker 5: Body keeps the score when the body says no, your
Speaker 5: body will tell you an experience. But I want you
Speaker 5: to know don't stop there. Your body's telling you an experience,
Speaker 5: and what's your body telling you that it's trying to
Speaker 5: tell you that you're feeling? Like, go to your eight feelings.
Speaker 5: Now there are just eight feelings. Well, guess what, there
Speaker 5: are only three primary colors, certain number of musical notes.
Speaker 5: This is not like oversimplified. It's actually the elegance of
Speaker 5: God giving us tools to create amazing creations.
Speaker 3: Again, I'm really inviting people to check out your book
Speaker 3: The Voice of the Heart, because you go through the
Speaker 3: eight feelings specifically and how each one.
Speaker 2: Has a gift, which of what we need for healing.
Speaker 3: But then how also each one has its own impairment
Speaker 3: and how you know, kind.
Speaker 4: Of when it's like if they talk about clean pain.
Speaker 3: And dirty pain, context you know, and a way to
Speaker 3: navigate and kind of again decode your own feelings.
Speaker 2: And so that's so so relevant to this.
Speaker 5: I'm taking clean pain and dirty pain. I've never heard it.
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 3: I heard it that I've heard it was like a
Speaker 3: psychle an actual psychological term that psychologists us. So there
Speaker 3: you go, we're masterminding right now. But I'll just share
Speaker 3: from from your book. The eight feelings are hurt, lonely, sad, anger, fear, shame, guilt,
Speaker 3: and glad and I'll blink it. In the show notes,
Speaker 3: we talked about this in depth and we talked about
Speaker 3: when you're on what's God got to do with it?
Speaker 2: But definitely check that out because it.
Speaker 3: Really becomes this navigation system like if you're lost in
Speaker 3: the desert, wouldn't it be great to have Google Maps?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 3: So this is that for the heart. In terms of
Speaker 3: this conversation of healing and what true healing looks like.
Speaker 3: You know, we talked about we have to acknowledge our
Speaker 3: needs and our emotions and boundaries right to break the cycle.
Speaker 4: So before we end, if you were to just nutshell,
Speaker 4: what does that process.
Speaker 6: Look like this?
Speaker 5: It looks like this is there are four questions we
Speaker 5: need to answer to really reunite with ourselves. This is
Speaker 5: just reuniting with ourselves. Where am I? Which is kind
Speaker 5: of like what am I feeling? It's amazing? That's God's
Speaker 5: first questions, where are you? To humanity? And the answer
Speaker 5: that God was looking for was emotional and that's where
Speaker 5: the human beings said, I was afraid and this is
Speaker 5: what I did with it. So where am I, which
Speaker 5: is what am I feeling, what am I doing with it?
Speaker 5: What am I doing with where I am? Which is
Speaker 5: taking ownership, which is using your mind to address your motives.
Speaker 5: And then number three is what happened or what's happening?
Speaker 5: What's the story not the rationalization, but what's the story
Speaker 5: of how I wound up where I'm sitting right now
Speaker 5: or standing? And then the fourth question is what's this like?
Speaker 5: And then there's a fifth thing. Finally, First, you find
Speaker 5: yourself as much as you can with the help of others.
Speaker 6: But then who do I tell? Because remember you're created
Speaker 6: for relationship. You're created to find fulfillment through connection to yourselves,
Speaker 6: others in God. So you got to kind of be
Speaker 6: able to start finding that self to speak. So the
Speaker 6: five things, there are four questions, and then the final one,
Speaker 6: the fifth one is who do I tell?
Speaker 5: I mean who will care who? And we find out
Speaker 5: a lot of times we have restricted our lives to
Speaker 5: no one first, and I remember that for myself. I
Speaker 5: picked up a phone one day, it was nineteen eighty something,
Speaker 5: and I've got to call somebody because I am so lonely.
Speaker 5: I found the lonely and I picked up the phone,
Speaker 5: and I ended up looking at the receiver. There was
Speaker 5: no one. Now I could call people to see how
Speaker 5: they were doing, right, totally, how you doing? Just call
Speaker 5: to see how you're doing, to get somebody to care
Speaker 5: about me. But I need to carry about them, right,
Speaker 5: But no one to call to say I'm in need.
Speaker 5: And there are a lot of people out there who
Speaker 5: were really needing to hear somebody say I get it,
Speaker 5: you know, like you know, sorry, that's where it starts
Speaker 5: flu do I tell Yeah, And it's okay. If you
Speaker 5: find no one.
Speaker 3: Fresh, that's okay, it's not bad. It's part of again,
Speaker 3: it's part of what. That's the way, it's just a
Speaker 3: product exactly. It's an awareness of like, okay, maybe this
Speaker 3: is something to look into, you know. So and yeah,
Speaker 3: we talked a lot about that on episode one of
Speaker 3: this series of really you know, finding that the need
Speaker 3: to be needed, but also knowing that it's it's human
Speaker 3: of you and that's something that needs to be addressed
Speaker 3: because it's not.
Speaker 4: Going to go away and to require not asire And you.
Speaker 5: Know, it's so good to leanne because you know, we
Speaker 5: we have to face that we can't give what we
Speaker 5: don't have. And if I'm not good at knowing what
Speaker 5: feedings are. Also, if I'm not good at needing, can
Speaker 5: I really step into the needs of another? Really, I
Speaker 5: can't give what I don't have if I if I
Speaker 5: don't know what it is to be in need, then
Speaker 5: on some level I might meet your needs. But I'm
Speaker 5: doing it for me, not as a way relating to you,
Speaker 5: but really relating.
Speaker 2: You know, absolutely, soh so good recovery. Yeah, it's amazing.
Speaker 2: It's amazing. And definitely go.
Speaker 3: Over to chip DoD dot com and find out all
Speaker 3: of the resources. If you click on free resources over there,
Speaker 3: you'll get the amazing gift of feelings in those eight
Speaker 3: core feelings and their purposes when you go over to
Speaker 3: that page and definitely check out his Living with Heart podcasts.
Speaker 4: He gets to be all of who he is and teach.
Speaker 3: What I would say is really, you know you you
Speaker 3: beautifully take the voice of the heart, but you back
Speaker 3: it up with science, and then you back it up
Speaker 3: with stories and experiences and you share your.
Speaker 4: Own and those of you know, decades of working in
Speaker 4: the recovery world.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's the beauty. And that's another thing, Leanne. You
Speaker 5: will you will have a longevity in terms of the
Speaker 5: passions of your heart. Almost certainly for as long as
Speaker 5: you're here, Okay, and see, I want your audience to
Speaker 5: hear I'm thirty eight years in the field of recovery,
Speaker 5: redemption and struggle, right and I'm not burned out and
Speaker 5: I'm not worn out. So I want you to know
Speaker 5: that is the power of awakening to feelings and the
Speaker 5: passion that comes out of I don't like honestly, look
Speaker 5: at anger chapter and the voice of the heart. Anger
Speaker 5: is essential And I was wanting something, desiring something, longing
Speaker 5: for something. Once you have that, you'll get tired. But
Speaker 5: you your candle doesn't go out, right.
Speaker 2: Wow, thank you for sharing that. Yeah, I needed to
Speaker 2: hear that.
Speaker 4: I know everyone out there that's candle's gone out needed.
Speaker 2: To hear that.
Speaker 5: Absolutely, it'll reignite.
Speaker 2: Absolutely love it. Well, thank you so much for being here.
Speaker 3: We will be back next week for our fourth and
Speaker 3: final part of the series, talking about the courage to
Speaker 3: feel and transforming your relationship with emotions.
Speaker 2: So we kind.
Speaker 3: Of unpeeled this onion a little bit and we are
Speaker 3: going to get to the core of that center of
Speaker 3: that onion next week.
Speaker 2: So thanks for being here and we'll see you next week.
Speaker 5: Bye, thank you,