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Speaker 1: My wife caught me with three naked women in a

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Speaker 1: hot tub. Should I leave her?

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Speaker 2: Should he leave her? Yeah? Should he leave her? Because

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Speaker 2: obviously she's not gonna be okay with it, and I'm

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Speaker 2: very okay with it.

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Speaker 1: I think it's some real boy math. Sam, Okay, do

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Speaker 1: the math.

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Speaker 2: I think if it's if him having three women in

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Speaker 2: the hot tub is more important than his relationship, then

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Speaker 2: he should definitely leave her.

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Speaker 1: This is okop where we read the craziest stories on Earth.

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Speaker 1: I'm John, this is Sam, and we're also joined by

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Speaker 1: Sarah and Josh from a podcast.

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Speaker 2: Will Save this Relationship?

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Speaker 3: Nice?

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Speaker 2: So the question is should ope stay or should they go?

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Speaker 2: I mean, are they down? Are they down?

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Speaker 4: Hey? Down?

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Speaker 3: Good?

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Speaker 2: A little spicy with it? Yeah? Hey, we could be

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Speaker 2: throwing some some flavor.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe what our guests, Sarah, Joshua, what do we think?

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Speaker 4: I mean?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it depends on if he is down.

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Speaker 2: You're so right?

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Speaker 5: I get yeah, I feel if there is consent, yeah,

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Speaker 5: bumps up.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Yeah, Josh likes this, But.

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Speaker 3: Josh likes this post.

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Speaker 2: Josh likes this just like Josh. You've given us premium content.

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna get tomorrow. That's gonna be fun. That's gonna

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Speaker 5: be well.

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Speaker 2: Now you're gonna get emails. Yeah, you're gonna be like,

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Speaker 2: I am applying to be.

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Speaker 5: Your third Send all complaints to I. Please don't at

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Speaker 5: gmail dot net.

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Speaker 4: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Bill Cosby is touring in your area? Can I make

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Speaker 2: it stop by your place?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, new opener for Bill Cosby.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I'll go on, I'll do the I'll do the

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Speaker 5: Matt Rife scam.

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Speaker 4: Gil what's it called?

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Speaker 2: Grif?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna get canceled by association.

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Speaker 4: I'm bringing this whole ship down.

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Speaker 2: Josh, question if you could open for Bill Cottby?

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Speaker 5: No, not even gonna, not even gonna entertain the rest

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Speaker 5: of your sentence. I'm not gonna I'm not even listen.

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Speaker 2: Josh Souf.

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Speaker 5: If you ask another question that starts with the word if,

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna be like, nah, no, zero out of ten

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Speaker 5: whatever you're about to say.

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Speaker 2: On that note, let's dive into the story.

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Speaker 1: My twenty eight male wife, Ashley thirty female, have been

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Speaker 1: together for four years, married for three, and have had

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Speaker 1: an open relationship for two years. So here we have

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Speaker 1: already established an open relationship. We both found someone very early.

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Speaker 1: Ashley was dating a married man in another stable poly relationship,

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Speaker 1: and I got quite close to a grad student at

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Speaker 1: a nearby college. Ashley and I were both high on

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Speaker 1: NRE uh.

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Speaker 2: What's NRI really? Neural wreck them enhancers exhibitions.

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Speaker 4: I feel like that makes sense in the context.

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Speaker 1: Of this new relationship energy relationship Y Thank you producer, Riley.

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Speaker 1: Ashley and I were both high on the new relationship energy,

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Speaker 1: but managed to share that with each other, and it

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Speaker 1: was so intense and special. Now, after nine great months,

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Speaker 1: my grad student got a job offer several hours away.

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Speaker 1: Being slightly introverted, I kind of withdrew into my shell

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Speaker 1: and threw myself into the gym to take my mind

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Speaker 1: off of things. Less than two months after that, Ashley's

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Speaker 1: meta my wife's partner in other words, got pregnant and

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Speaker 1: her relationship started to wind down there too. I had

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Speaker 1: hoped that we could take some time and maybe travel

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Speaker 1: or just spend some romantic time together after both of

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Speaker 1: our breakups, but Ashley's plan was to chase that new

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Speaker 1: relationship energy rush with someone new. A great plan, but

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Speaker 1: she wasn't matching with anyone that she could really connect with.

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Speaker 1: We started seeing more people more often, then she scheduled

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Speaker 1: a date with a new guy on Saturday night, which

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Speaker 1: had always been our date night. We argued, and she

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Speaker 1: ended up not going out with either of us that night.

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Speaker 1: She insisted that we change our date night to Thursday

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Speaker 1: because Friday and Saturday were better for her other partners,

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Speaker 1: especially if they wanted to do an overnight. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: pause right there. So how are we feeling so far

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Speaker 1: about Op's life doing this?

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Speaker 2: Not great? Saturdays are our time?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean well, I gotta give it up to

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Speaker 3: poll people because they got like spreadsheets of people that

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Speaker 3: they're with, and it's difficult for me to keep up.

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Speaker 3: Like they are the most organized people on the planet.

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Speaker 2: I think their Google calendar goes crazy.

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Speaker 1: Ye just keeping track, Like you have a career in

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Speaker 1: project management ahead of you.

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Speaker 2: What do you guys think as of right now? Do

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Speaker 2: you think Op should should Ope stay or should OPE go? Yeah?

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Speaker 5: I feel like it's already encroaching a little bit. That's

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Speaker 5: the only like problem here now. But I feel like

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Speaker 5: if you talk it out and like you're able to say, like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 5: I know that this day is gonna be different, but

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Speaker 5: I'll make sure you know XYZ, whatever day it happens

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Speaker 5: to be like as long as those days are.

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Speaker 4: Still good for like date nights with the original poly couple,

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Speaker 4: I suppose.

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Speaker 5: But I feel like the the wording of chasing that

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Speaker 5: new relationship energy makes it seem like some sort of

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Speaker 5: It does feel like an addiction how it's written out,

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Speaker 5: So I'm curious if that's like going to encroach more

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Speaker 5: and more, Like if this person leaves, another person comes

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Speaker 5: in and decides, oh, gota keep trying a new person,

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Speaker 5: new person, new person, and it just keeps getting more

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Speaker 5: and more.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think if it continues on more and more

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Speaker 3: and this person's kind of like pushed to the wayside,

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Speaker 3: I think I could understand. I feel like I could understand,

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Speaker 3: like get an upset immediately. I think right now it's

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Speaker 3: more of a communication thing.

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Speaker 1: All this caused me to spiral a bit, and I

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Speaker 1: was practically living at the gym with no real enthusiasm

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Speaker 1: for days for a few months. The upside was I

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Speaker 1: lost thirty five pounds and really pumped up my arms

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Speaker 1: and upper body.

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Speaker 2: Go beefcake.

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Speaker 1: One of my friends, Keith from the gym, talked me

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Speaker 1: into working at one of his clubs on Friday and Saturday,

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Speaker 1: as a bar back since they were crazy busy. It's

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Speaker 1: a mixed crowd LGBTQ plus with a big dance floor

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Speaker 1: and drag show.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like a good time.

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Speaker 1: By the third week, I was bartending and the MC

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Speaker 1: had made teasing me and grabbing my ass part of

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Speaker 1: her act. I started getting hit on, which boosted my

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Speaker 1: confidence and went from introverted to the other end of

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Speaker 1: the scale.

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Speaker 2: Dang, ope he got the cofference. This is great.

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Speaker 1: After about three months, I noticed my wife Ashley making

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Speaker 1: snide remarks about my working out and staying out all night,

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Speaker 1: as I think that she was a bit annoyed or

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Speaker 1: jealous that I was having such a good time. She

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Speaker 1: was still getting dealt really crappy cards from a stack deck,

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Speaker 1: as she put it, rarely getting more than three to

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Speaker 1: four dates from any one guy before ending it or

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Speaker 1: being ghosted. Meanwhile, I am going to after parties or

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Speaker 1: hooking up and not getting home much before the sun

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Speaker 1: comes up.

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Speaker 2: Woway Balancing all of that, like, I don't think I

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Speaker 2: could do a job, and that as well.

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Speaker 4: It's a lot to juggle. Yeah, I wonder huh.

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Speaker 3: Gay people have always been hard workers.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, right, good golly, if they aren't the darn

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Speaker 1: hardest workers out of Therecket, the poly community is out

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Speaker 1: here doing the work.

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Speaker 2: Wait, because she got more energy than.

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Speaker 1: Us, Like companies should just hire all polypeople because they're

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Speaker 1: just they're just damn sorry.

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Speaker 5: They already know excelled, they know they know Google calendars,

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Speaker 5: Microsoft teams, we know it.

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Speaker 2: They fucking skills off the charts.

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Speaker 1: But then came the big storm laid out in these numbers.

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Speaker 1: Number One, I knew I was going to hook up

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Speaker 1: with a regular at the bar and not going to

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Speaker 1: be home, so I texted my wife Ashley that I

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Speaker 1: was having an overnight and would be home and would

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Speaker 1: not be home until the next morning. I get a

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Speaker 1: lengthy text about how I ruined the mood on her

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Speaker 1: date and ruined things and the next day for her

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Speaker 1: and had a big argument. Number two, Ashley had told

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Speaker 1: me that she was doing an overnight on Friday, so

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Speaker 1: after her work, I invited a few people over to

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Speaker 1: the house. My wife, Ashley had a fight with her

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Speaker 1: boyfriend and came home early to find me in the

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Speaker 1: hot tub with three naked women. Two were lesbians, but

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Speaker 1: the picture did not reflect that. Oh yikes, oh yikes,

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Speaker 1: and then finally number three, Ashley in her date decided

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Speaker 1: that they wanted to see the drag show on Saturday.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like oh Pea's drag show on Saturday. It was

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Speaker 1: a packed house. We had three bachelorette parties in the house.

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Speaker 1: They were there in rare form, was helping the bar

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Speaker 1: back clear empties from the tables, and the emce and

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Speaker 1: one of the other divas were giving me the business,

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Speaker 1: which only egged the bachelorette groups to get handsy on

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Speaker 1: me as well as busy as it was. I never

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Speaker 1: saw Ashley, but Kevin did, but saw her leave in

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Speaker 1: a huff with a bewildered date in tow. We gotta

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Speaker 1: pause here real quick because of my god.

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Speaker 3: Have y'all ever been to a gay bar with a

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Speaker 3: bachelorette while a bachelorette party?

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Speaker 2: Is there not a bachelorette to drag show?

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Speaker 4: We went?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we went to some drag shows in Bali together,

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Speaker 1: which is great, but not I've never seen a bachelorette

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Speaker 1: party live in action.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what it is specifically with like gay bars,

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Speaker 3: but they go and they get the like the wildest

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Speaker 3: that they can ever get. So I'm not I kind

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Speaker 3: of blaming the bachelorette party, yeah, rather than this man.

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Speaker 4: Actually, yeah, that's fair.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I actually have seen a bachelorette parties at the

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Speaker 2: Abbey and we havel like we hoogo's crazy with bachelor

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Speaker 2: att parties during especially like their like wedding season.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, which makes sense. Yeah, okay, wow, what is it?

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Speaker 1: What is it about that that like makes women go

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Speaker 1: the wildest?

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Speaker 2: I don't understand, because they can it's like a safe

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Speaker 2: space for them to kind of go like go wild,

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Speaker 2: and because it's like, oh, like none of these guys

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Speaker 2: are going to go and like tat on me or

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Speaker 2: like they're actually trying to like pock up with me.

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Speaker 2: We're playing, and so they go extra extra wild and.

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Speaker 3: It's pretty fucked up because you don't really know, like

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Speaker 3: unless unless you talk to someone's and you're like, what's

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Speaker 3: your sexuality and then they're like, oh, I'm a I'm

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Speaker 3: a gay man. Then you can't just be like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna grab your penis. It's like that's that's sexual assault.

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Speaker 3: My guy doesn't matter the sexuality of the person.

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Speaker 1: The day after she came to the club, my wife

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Speaker 1: Ashley said that we needed to close a relationship and

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Speaker 1: work through some issues. We talked about a few of them,

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Speaker 1: mostly me not being available on the weekends and not

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Speaker 1: prioritizing our relationship. I had to remind her that she

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Speaker 1: was the one who prompted us to move our day

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Speaker 1: night from Saturday to Thursday to accommodate her boyfriend's schedule.

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Speaker 1: She brought up how hurt she was when she had

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Speaker 1: a fight with one of her dates and came home

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Speaker 1: early to find me in a hot tub full of women,

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Speaker 1: naked women at that when she needed me to be

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Speaker 1: there for her. I told her, for once, I was

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Speaker 1: getting to enjoy the same freedom she had, and if

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Speaker 1: she was having issues, then maybe she could take a

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Speaker 1: step back and close her side while she got some

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Speaker 1: individual counseling to learn how to deal with her issues.

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Speaker 1: So is Opie saying, like, Yo, why don't you you

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Speaker 1: stop seeing other people and let me let me.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna still be living that life, so in my

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Speaker 2: own naked hot tub saying am I right? Yeah? Opie

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Speaker 2: might be losing us a little bit here.

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Speaker 5: I know there's probably relationships that have one side that

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Speaker 5: is open the other side closed, and I assume that

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Speaker 5: requires a lot more communication to make that possible. But

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Speaker 5: I feel like bringing this up out of not out

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Speaker 5: of nowhere necessarily like and this kind of like rushed,

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Speaker 5: heated like argument feels a little weird, and I think

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Speaker 5: that's kind of the messed up thing right now, is like,

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Speaker 5: uh you you figure your stuff out. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 5: change anything about me though, and I'm going on break.

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Speaker 3: So I'm going on break. Uh no, But like I agree,

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Speaker 3: it's she said, oh, you know, let's move our date night,

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Speaker 3: and he was like, Okay, I'm gonna go out partying

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Speaker 3: on that date night. I'm free to go do that.

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Speaker 3: And then she gets upset at him for doing that,

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Speaker 3: which I mean, you can't really you know, she might

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Speaker 3: be jealous all of a sudden, or she might have

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Speaker 3: some insecurities because of what she's going through with her stuff,

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Speaker 3: but you can't really like take that out on your partner.

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Speaker 3: That's some self self things that you got to do. However,

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Speaker 3: he is still her partner, so he's shit still. He

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Speaker 3: kind of just was like, all right, well, you deal

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Speaker 3: with it. And I think that's kind of an issue

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Speaker 3: in the relationship himself. It's like, why are you guys

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Speaker 3: not uplifting each other.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of a.

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Speaker 1: Dick move, getting messy, getting messy on both sides.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but we'll hey, we'll we'll see me. Maybe it works.

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Speaker 4: Well, we'll see.

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Speaker 1: I haven't missed a Thursday date night with her, although

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Speaker 1: she can spend a third of it on her phone

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Speaker 1: with other guys, and that's supposed to be okay, And

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Speaker 1: I brought up how she literally sends thirty texts to

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Speaker 1: my one last night. She brought it up again, and

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Speaker 1: I said, if she wanted to close, we could close,

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Speaker 1: but it would be permanent. And I'm guessing that's on

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Speaker 1: both sides. Yeah, okay, so that's all in both sides.

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Speaker 2: Just completely closing down the relationship.

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Speaker 1: No dating or online flirting. She would have to delete

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Speaker 1: all of her dating apps, Snapchat, all of her phone numbers,

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Speaker 1: of past tookoffs, everything. I made it clear if we

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Speaker 1: went down this path, the next time she wanted to

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Speaker 1: do so much as have dinner with another man alone,

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Speaker 1: it would be as a single polly woman. Obviously, she

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Speaker 1: didn't like my idea and said it was unfair and

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Speaker 1: personally right now, that isn't something that I want either,

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Speaker 1: But I'm going to just let her pour cold water

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Speaker 1: over my side to appease whatever is going on through

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Speaker 1: her head right now. And we do have a couple

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Speaker 1: quick relevant comments from sweet little Cowgirl. Yikes, it sounds

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Speaker 1: like neither of you have tended to your relationship with

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Speaker 1: each other in quite some time. Initially her and now

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Speaker 1: both of you. You both seem to be prioritizing random

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Speaker 1: hookups before each other, when your priority should be the

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Speaker 1: other way around, each other's first and then your date second.

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Speaker 1: Op responding respectfully, she was the one to move our

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Speaker 1: date night to a weekend and then spend Friday and

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Speaker 1: Saturday night chasing new partners, often spending overnights, leaving me

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Speaker 1: home most of the weekend. I still made an effort

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Speaker 1: to plan date nights as best I could, which was

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Speaker 1: hard considering that we both have to get up early

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Speaker 1: Friday to go to work.

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Speaker 2: Feels like they're tit for tatting, Like they're like, you

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Speaker 2: didn't do this, so I'm going to do this, and

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Speaker 2: then she's like, you didn't do this, so I'm going

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Speaker 2: to do this, And it's just like this negative spiral

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Speaker 2: towards what it seems like is like a breakup. Because again,

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Speaker 2: what a common says they are not prioritizing themselves at all.

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Speaker 5: No, not at all, and like very obviously, Like I mean,

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Speaker 5: it's one thing as childish just to be like, oh,

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Speaker 5: you're hurting me, so I'm gonna hurt you now. I mean,

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Speaker 5: that's never a good Hey, that's not a good thing

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Speaker 5: for a romantic relationship. It's not good for a platonic relationship,

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Speaker 5: even any sort of relationship. It cannot be built on

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Speaker 5: a system where basically it's just people hurting each other.

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Speaker 5: That's not going to make anyone happy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just a communication. Like, if you're in a relationship,

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Speaker 3: any relationship, and someone hurts you, it's up to you

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Speaker 3: to be like, hey, that hurt me, you know, and

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Speaker 3: this is my boundary. This is whatever we're going to

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Speaker 3: deal with it. And instead of doing that, this guy

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Speaker 3: was just like, well, then you know what, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: blah blah blah. And that's fine that he can go

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Speaker 3: and do that. That's you know, part of their agreement

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Speaker 3: about their relationship. But then to bring it up later

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Speaker 3: when they're arguing is kind of fucked up, as if

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Speaker 3: it's a punishment for what she did which offended him,

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Speaker 3: you know, then at the end. You're just keeping score.

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Speaker 2: And you can even see it in the comment too.

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Speaker 1: It's not a boxing match. It's not like a you

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Speaker 1: got that round. But I'm coming back with the vengeance.

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Speaker 1: We're not trying to Floyd Mayweather this relationship.

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Speaker 2: Okay, let's you gotta win the divorce. That's really what

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Speaker 2: you're leading win divorce.

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Speaker 3: To win.

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Speaker 1: But that's the war. But we do have an update,

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Speaker 1: so let's see. Let's see about that final round. A

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago, my wife astually asked to close

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Speaker 1: a relationship and work on some issues. Last Thursday was

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Speaker 1: our scheduled date night, where she again asked me to pause,

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Speaker 1: reconnect and work through some issues. Friday and Saturday nights

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Speaker 1: had lately been the nights that I worked at the

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Speaker 1: club while she went out with her other partners, and

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Speaker 1: she was gone often overnight, leaving me alone for most

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Speaker 1: of the weekend. The last weekend, she spent both Friday

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Speaker 1: and Saturday nights sitting alone at the end of the.

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Speaker 2: Bar where I worked.

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Speaker 1: I had a date already planned for Friday after work,

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Speaker 1: but on Saturday we left together and had breakfast together

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Speaker 1: before going home. All this week, her phone has been

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Speaker 1: silent and I have only seen her texting a couple

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Speaker 1: of times. All three times that we have been intimate

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Speaker 1: in this week, she has been the one to initiate it,

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Speaker 1: which is the total opposite of the last nine months.

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Speaker 1: We had a long talk and she wants to make

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Speaker 1: Saturday our official date night again, in addition to keeping

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Speaker 1: Thursday night as well, So now we're going to two

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Speaker 1: date nights a week. She said that she has pulled

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Speaker 1: all her dating profiles down, deleted Snapchat, and is basically

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Speaker 1: closing her side of the relationship down, as in, she

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Speaker 1: doesn't want to seek any new partners but stay with ope.

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Speaker 1: Her only ask has been for me to not work

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Speaker 1: Saturdays so we could spend the entire day together. I

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Speaker 1: told her I could do that, but I needed to

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Speaker 1: give Kevin time to find a replacement for me at

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Speaker 1: the club. We are spending this afternoon with her family

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Speaker 1: and lunch tomorrow with mine for Thanksgiving. Wow, this is

365
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Speaker 1: reading leading right into Thanksgiving my head.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let's let those fires burn. Yeah yeah, wow past

367
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Speaker 3: the turkey. Have you guys been It's been a lot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Ashley has a new individual therapist that she will start

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Speaker 1: seeing next week and once an extra session with our

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Speaker 1: couple's counselor for the next couple of months. She hopes,

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Speaker 1: but hasn't pressed that I will close my side of

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Speaker 1: the relationship as well. But I haven't made up my

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Speaker 1: mind yet. I guess we will wait and see. For now,

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Speaker 1: we have a couple more comments from.

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Speaker 2: So he's still not going to close down his side

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Speaker 2: of the relationship.

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00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,640
Speaker 1: He's still out there, but he's going to stop working

379
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Speaker 1: at the bar. He's gonna stop working at the bar.

380
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Speaker 1: He's going to give or I'm.

381
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Speaker 2: Still gonna have three girls in my hot up.

382
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:36,359
Speaker 4: Gotta have those gotta have those hot up girls. Listen, guys, guys, guys.

383
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Speaker 3: Two of them are lesbians.

384
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Speaker 1: Though yeah, I could the two lesbians outweigh the one

385
00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:47,120
Speaker 1: straight one. That's how math works, babe. Okay, but here's

386
00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:51,480
Speaker 1: the question. Now, has Op now become the A hole?

387
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,680
Speaker 2: I think Op has been trending towards the A hole

388
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Speaker 2: since the beginning of the story, Like he wasn't initially,

389
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Speaker 2: but it's it's like, I feel like he was hurt

390
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:07,080
Speaker 2: and it's like been progressively more aholish as he's not

391
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:11,760
Speaker 2: really meeting her where she's obviously like She's like, I

392
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:15,119
Speaker 2: think trying to make things right, and he's not really budging,

393
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Speaker 2: and so maybe he doesn't care about the relationship anymore.

394
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,879
Speaker 2: But like if he does care about the relationship, he

395
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,480
Speaker 2: has to make efforts as well, and it doesn't seem

396
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Speaker 2: like he's doing that.

397
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Speaker 3: I also kind of feel like it's I mean, maybe

398
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Speaker 3: I'm a person that just talks a lot in relationships

399
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,320
Speaker 3: where I'm like, we have to sit down and talk

400
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:34,679
Speaker 3: for many hours to get over this problem. It feels

401
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 3: like they just kind of glossed over it. She's like, Okay,

402
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 3: I'll do what you want and then we won't get

403
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,840
Speaker 3: you know, we won't break up. But that doesn't really

404
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,320
Speaker 3: solve a problem. It just kind of pushes it down.

405
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, that leads to resent because.

406
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Speaker 2: They're not addressing like the root cause of all of

407
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:48,800
Speaker 2: this that happened happened too.

408
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will say too.

409
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Speaker 5: I feel like maybe it's a light like everyone's shitty

410
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:56,120
Speaker 5: here right now in this current moment, but I feel

411
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 5: like you're not like we talk about this a lot

412
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 5: where it's like you're not an asshole one hundred percent

413
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,120
Speaker 5: of the time, or like you're never gonna be always

414
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:05,399
Speaker 5: an asshole. And I feel like the partner's definitely attempting now,

415
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,399
Speaker 5: even after a little bit of time, even doing the

416
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,679
Speaker 5: like the tip for tat like there's at least now

417
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:10,200
Speaker 5: an attempt.

418
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Speaker 4: I think that's a good sign. I don't know where

419
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:12,600
Speaker 4: it's gonna lead.

420
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,640
Speaker 5: I know there's still plenty of comments where it's gonna

421
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 5: be like, oh, actually she murdered someone, So I don't know.

422
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:20,680
Speaker 5: I'm curious now about these updates.

423
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:21,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's see.

424
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 1: So a couple quick comments from hiak school. Ashley is

425
00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,679
Speaker 1: simply used to getting what she wants when she wants it,

426
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:31,760
Speaker 1: even if it takes pressing Op by showing up to

427
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 1: his part time job. Strategic sense, this job is what

428
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 1: got him back in the game and having fun. When

429
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,439
Speaker 1: she sufficiently blocks OP from what's working for him, the

430
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 1: game will change again. Clear manipulation tactics. OP won't be

431
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 1: long before she wants you to quit your job outright.

432
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,160
Speaker 1: That will mark the completion of her plan. She will

433
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:52,720
Speaker 1: wait a bit and magically be ready to get back

434
00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 1: out there.

435
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 2: Interesting theory.

436
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:58,160
Speaker 1: From reading Op's well thought out posts, it's pretty clear

437
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,480
Speaker 1: he understands what I laid out above. While ethical non

438
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,720
Speaker 1: monogamy isn't easy and certainly is a give and take

439
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 1: by all parties involved. Once certain patterns become a parent,

440
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:11,520
Speaker 1: the side constantly laying down needs to stand back up.

441
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 1: Can't imagine how he felt those nine months, let alone

442
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,359
Speaker 1: how little she cared and OP responded. Even if it

443
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,120
Speaker 1: takes pressing OP by showing up to the part time job.

444
00:21:21,160 --> 00:21:24,680
Speaker 1: OP specifically responds to that line. Ashley's reasoning for spending

445
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 1: more time at the club was to one spend more

446
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 1: time with me, two show that she wasn't spending time

447
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,360
Speaker 1: out with her other partners, and three be there when

448
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,479
Speaker 1: I get off of work. Won't be long before she

449
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,760
Speaker 1: wants to get you to quit that job outright. That

450
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,879
Speaker 1: will mark the completion of her plan. That seems crazy

451
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 1: to say.

452
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like some of these comments are

453
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 2: wildly against Holy I don't know if I agree with

454
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,200
Speaker 2: all these comments. There's some conspiracy theories in here.

455
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 3: Yes, she's a manipulate, She's an evil person that must

456
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,879
Speaker 3: tear down this one man.

457
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,399
Speaker 1: Yeah right, this commenter secretly is just like spying on

458
00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 1: them in their lives and just just to comment on

459
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: this red a story. But OPI closes everything with this response.

460
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 1: Originally she did want me to quit, but has backed

461
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 1: off a bit for now. Part of the reason I

462
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 1: resisted closing revolved around the fact that when my resources

463
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,480
Speaker 1: dried up, she could flip and want to be open again,

464
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 1: and I would have a harder time reopening than she would.

465
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:36,399
Speaker 1: That's it, right, Riley's wrap. She wrote, So, wow, I

466
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 1: have many questions, but maybe an important one to ask

467
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:44,640
Speaker 1: is is this relationship worth saving?

468
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 4: Okay?

469
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:49,600
Speaker 5: Now that yeah, you guys, you guys came prepared to

470
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:50,919
Speaker 5: make me speechless.

471
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,800
Speaker 3: Yeah we do like two plus two equals four on

472
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 3: our show, and you guys are doing like algebra.

473
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 4: Part. Is it worth it? I?

474
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:05,520
Speaker 2: So, I feel like she's trying, but it just shows

475
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 2: like I don't think Ope is willing to make the effort.

476
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 2: It sounds like op has moved It sounds like Ope's

477
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 2: moved on.

478
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:17,119
Speaker 5: I do feel a little flipped around, Like, Okay, so

479
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 5: I used to work in like a public place and

480
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:20,919
Speaker 5: like if Sarah showed up like I wouldn't be like

481
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,719
Speaker 5: she's trying to fucking manipulate me right now, God dang

482
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:30,680
Speaker 5: bitch showing up at Universal like and that's that's why

483
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 5: I feel like I don't know why the comments are

484
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 5: so like harsh on this one, but like it's very

485
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:38,639
Speaker 5: much like I feel I don't, I don't know, like

486
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 5: I feel like this is very I think it should

487
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 5: be okay, if it shouldn't be open one sided. I

488
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 5: don't think the communication is there currently to have it

489
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:47,880
Speaker 5: to where like one person's closed the other person's open.

490
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 5: I don't think necessarily the job needs to change either.

491
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,200
Speaker 5: I think the job can stay the same. I also

492
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 5: don't think you should like screw up someone's income source,

493
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 5: you know, currently at least, but I staying together.

494
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,880
Speaker 2: I don't know in the future you can screw it up. Though.

495
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:04,439
Speaker 3: Yeah, it kind of feels like she got punished in

496
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 3: this situation. Like she started out she had some insecurities

497
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,719
Speaker 3: or whatever. She was being pretty shitty towards her partner

498
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,840
Speaker 3: about it, and then by the interview it's like, okay,

499
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 3: but I want you to completely shut down your side

500
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,159
Speaker 3: and I'm gonna go with the three naked women in

501
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 3: the bar, but two of them are lesbians.

502
00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 2: She's being punished.

503
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think I really think the uh

504
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,440
Speaker 1: do you know? Broadly speaking, the a holes flipped here

505
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 1: where it was like OPI was like like she was

506
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 1: doing all this stuff in the beginning, and then by

507
00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 1: the end of the story, Opie's still running around with

508
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 1: his naked hot tub ladies. And then you know, Ashley

509
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: is just like, Okay, I'm gonna close it down. I'm

510
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 1: gonna try I'm gonna do it in a weird way.

511
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 2: I'm like rooting for Ashley, like she's become the Eiderdogs

512
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,439
Speaker 2: to me, and I'm like, yeah, like I want her

513
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:48,679
Speaker 2: to be.

514
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 5: Consider the fact that getting your own therapist is a

515
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 5: form of manipulation. Actually is when you go out of

516
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 5: your way to better yourself and.

517
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,240
Speaker 3: Josh, you're joking about that there straight up be well

518
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,200
Speaker 3: to think that getting a therapist is manipulative.

519
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,919
Speaker 2: I mean, that is what a therapist does, but like

520
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 2: a good manipulation. Yeah, manipulating. Oh jeez, I I feel

521
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 2: I feel bad for for this relationship. Sounds like it's

522
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 2: not going to a good place.

523
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 1: I think we've concluded that this is a big frat

524
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 1: steaming mess.

525
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,639
Speaker 2: That is, that is the conclusion.

526
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,399
Speaker 1: But uh, we have to give a big round of

527
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: applause to Sarah and Josh for wading through quite possibly

528
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 1: two of the most insane relationship stories known to men.

529
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 2: So yes, out of relationship stories. The quantum physics, really.

530
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 3: The quantum physics that we've been doing here in the

531
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:45,720
Speaker 3: studio today.

532
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, boy, math, girl, math, non binary math. They all

533
00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,440
Speaker 5: the maths been due. I got, I got, I.

534
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:54,480
Speaker 3: Got, I got ethical non monogamy.

535
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 5: We learned a lot of a lot of acronyms I've

536
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,879
Speaker 5: learned today, and I'm going to forget all of that.

537
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 2: So yeah, thumb z. But the most important acronym is

538
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,199
Speaker 2: the acronym that is your show, Ku, So could you

539
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:09,760
Speaker 2: shout out your podcast real quick?

540
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:12,919
Speaker 5: I'll take this. Yeah, we're a podcast. Will save this

541
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 5: relationship shortened down to APWSTR on most platforms. We do

542
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,720
Speaker 5: a show every Tuesday at nine am Eastern Standard time.

543
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 5: Theoretically if we do a show that week, Sometimes we don't.

544
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 5: We're we're zigging and zagon over here.

545
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 4: We do be.

546
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,880
Speaker 3: Zigging and zagon and don't know what's happening.

547
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,919
Speaker 1: Exactly, but catch them on all of their zigs and

548
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 1: all of their zags.

549
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,359
Speaker 2: Please go subscribe to them. We'll have their links below.

550
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 1: If you love us, make sure to subscribe to us

551
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 1: and them.

552
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,800
Speaker 2: And we love you so we'll see you tomorrow.

553
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:43,439
Speaker 4: Bye.

554
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:47,160
Speaker 2: This is an episode from Deep within the Archives. Time

555
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 2: for okop relash, sup y'all. We wanted to give some

556
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 2: shout outs. Yeah, yeah we were. So we went to

557
00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:01,000
Speaker 2: Playlist Live in Orlando, Florida. Yeah we did, and dude,

558
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 2: I got recognized by my TSA agent on the way

559
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 2: over there. John missed it by like like a little bit.

560
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,120
Speaker 1: I saw we I ended up having this whole debacle

561
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,439
Speaker 1: with my flight, so I left thirty seconds before he

562
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 1: was recognized. Yeah, and then my TSA agent I pull

563
00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:21,640
Speaker 1: out my ID and I am clean shaven, and he's like, oh.

564
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,959
Speaker 2: You look better with a beard, and I'm like, yeah,

565
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 2: why why.

566
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 1: You disson me when I'm just trying to get to

567
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 1: try to go to the flight, trying to get to

568
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,640
Speaker 1: shout out to Kevin. I'm pretty sure he was Kevin

569
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 1: shout out to Kevina. He said he's listened to every

570
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:36,399
Speaker 1: episode for like the past year or something.

571
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,440
Speaker 2: I know, I know, So Kevin, if you say this

572
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 2: right now, big shout out to Kevin to you also

573
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 2: comment if you if you saw.

574
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 1: This, definitely also shout out to Hayley. That's why I

575
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 1: I don't know if.

576
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 2: We also ran into a bunch of fans at playlists

577
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 2: live when we were actually there, yes, which is crazy

578
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 2: because it's like, you know, you know, we see like

579
00:27:57,560 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 2: you guys comment on the videos and it's get used,

580
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 2: but it's so weird, just like actually seeing people in

581
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 2: real life. It's very it's very insane. Yeah, because we

582
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 2: don't think of ourselves as not at all anyone, bro,

583
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,160
Speaker 2: literally not. We are worse that Dart.

584
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 1: I'm literally thinking like people say like, oh hi, and

585
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,639
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, do you know what, Like do you

586
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:17,480
Speaker 1: want to know what time it is?

587
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 2: Or you're looking for something? You know what I mean?

588
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 1: But yeah, Haley shout out to Haley. I don't think

589
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:25,960
Speaker 1: you ran into her. But she took a picture with

590
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,679
Speaker 1: me and Alex Weber and some other people.

591
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:31,359
Speaker 2: I don't know she compared to Alex Weber. Yeah, in

592
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 2: the same photo. Not in the same phot Okay, that's

593
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 2: cool now.

594
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, Alex Webber is like, bro, I love okop, Bro,

595
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 1: you guys are so great. No, no, no, not at all,

596
00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:41,200
Speaker 1: not at all. Sam was wait did you get to

597
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 1: see him? No?

598
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 2: Oh, I saw him in the airport going back. Actually,

599
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 2: oh really I didn't say hi.

600
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's always a tough call with it. I

601
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 1: actually recently saw the chief content officer of Title was

602
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 1: right next to me at a Kendrick concert. Tit titles

603
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 1: the big streaming platform like Spotify, Spotify competitor. Uh And

604
00:28:59,040 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 1: I mean he's like a legend. Yeah, and no one

605
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: recognized who he was except for me, I'm sure. And

606
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: but it was a Kendrick concert, so it was like

607
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: loud and sweaty bodies were everywhere.

608
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 2: So I was like, let me not do it. And

609
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 2: then a concert was over. I looked around. He was gone.

610
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 2: Also shout out to a Laura. I think we might

611
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 2: be I remember one person that we saw a ton

612
00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 2: forgetting her her name. But if please comment, please comment.

613
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 1: If you was there and you saw us, you're there,

614
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 1: you saw us, We do comment, and we'll give you

615
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:35,239
Speaker 1: another a whole second who second shout out, and then

616
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 1: it'll be a fat, beefy shout out. Well, we'll read

617
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 1: your life story. Yeah, and if you guys ever see

618
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 1: us in the wild, please say what's up?

619
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 2: Please say hi? That's cool. It's nice. Yeah, we're we try.

620
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,520
Speaker 2: I think we're nice in person. I think so.

621
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 1: I'm like down to like it was funny because Haley

622
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 1: ran up and like took a picture and then ran away,

623
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm like, hey, like what's up?

624
00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 1: Like how you doing? Like how are you doing this?

625
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 1: So we won't like, uh like, oh gosh, take a

626
00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,160
Speaker 1: picture and leave. You know, that's that's not us. We're

627
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 1: down to like chat shoot the ship man. But AnyWho,

628
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: we got a hot, steaming fresh story for y'all today.

629
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 1: I decided to ban my transgender sister from attending my

630
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: own wedding because my parents did the unthinkable.

631
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:27,960
Speaker 2: Why banned the sister when the parents did the unthinkable? Wait?

632
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 2: What why ban the sister when the parents did the unthinkable? Right?

633
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 2: That's that's the question I am. This is a case

634
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 2: that needs to be solved.

635
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 1: That's right. There's something not right here. So some background.

636
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 1: I have a transistor who came out to us around

637
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: a year ago, but had been on hormones for longer

638
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 1: and hid it from us until she had moved out

639
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 1: into her own place, probably because our parents are very

640
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 1: conservative and known to be transphobic.

641
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 2: Yikes.

642
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 1: As a result, there was a huge fight and a

643
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 1: ton of people in our family, including our own parents,

644
00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 1: cut her off and did not want to talk to

645
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 1: her anymore.

646
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 2: Yo, that sucks. Freaking rough. People are insane.

647
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 1: I like to think I've been pretty supportive of her

648
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 1: so far, using her pronouns and her name and all that,

649
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: which has been hard considering our family gives us crap

650
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 1: for doing so. I even make it a point to

651
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 1: visit her every so often, while she hasn't seen most

652
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:22,320
Speaker 1: of our other family since the last year.

653
00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 2: Wow, just being totally cut off, it's so rough awful.

654
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: I also promised her that if and when I got

655
00:31:28,800 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 1: married in the future, she'd still be invited despite any

656
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 1: tension with our family.

657
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 2: Okay, So, I mean it seems like Op's being far

658
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:41,680
Speaker 2: like sibling doing what they should be, so just support

659
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 2: their sister. But dude, what a what a awful? Like

660
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 2: how do you like navigate?

661
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,160
Speaker 1: Literally you're cut off from the people you like, grew

662
00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 1: up with and like everything.

663
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 2: And it's like also like op Is is caught in

664
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 2: the middle of it too. Yes, they're caught up in

665
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 2: in the the the bigot tree that these parents exactly.

666
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 2: And it's and that's a that's a tough position to

667
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 2: be into, you know what I mean.

668
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: It's tough for Yeah, it's tough for everybody, well not

669
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 1: the people. It's easy, easy to cut someone off, but

670
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: not easy for opor or their sibling. Now, me and

671
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:18,680
Speaker 1: my fiance got engaged a while back. My parents, especially

672
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 1: my dad, absolutely adore this guy, and since my sister

673
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: came out, they've almost seen him as their substitute son.

674
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:31,080
Speaker 2: Oh that's bro, that's like I mean, like it's good

675
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 2: that they like.

676
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:39,959
Speaker 1: Son, but the substitute substitute son so fun. But my like,

677
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 1: my brain just breaks comprehending, like, okay, uh, the parents

678
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 1: were probably raised with all this ideology.

679
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,640
Speaker 2: Did I get that? But it's like your your your child?

680
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 2: How does like how does I like love not trump?

681
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 2: You know, the bigotry and even like your child like

682
00:32:57,720 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 2: murdering someone.

683
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,600
Speaker 1: It's just like it's it's still had, there's still an

684
00:33:01,600 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 1: element of like.

685
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 2: Like that is that is my child? I don't know,

686
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 2: Like I just.

687
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 1: Can't and like how like how could you disown your child?

688
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 1: Can you walk away from your own child? It just

689
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 1: blows my mind, like I don't understand.

690
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 2: Not good parents?

691
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 5: No.

692
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 1: Almost As a result, he's definitely more on their side

693
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,880
Speaker 1: of the situation. Yikes, And he's made it clear that

694
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,960
Speaker 1: he doesn't really agree with or like my sister at

695
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:30,160
Speaker 1: all that much. That's a red flag. Bro Right, that's

696
00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 1: a big red flag if you don't.

697
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:36,959
Speaker 2: Like someone's family. I mean it's that's especially if you

698
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 2: are if that person likes their family, that's gonna be

699
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 2: a hard thing to Yeah.

700
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 1: It's one thing if like it's just like a random

701
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: family member who's like an asshole. Yeah, but like this

702
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 1: is like the sister that has done literally nothing nothing wrong,

703
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,160
Speaker 1: literally nothing wrong.

704
00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a red flag.

705
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 1: Also seems like weirdly opportunistic. It's like what I mean,

706
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,120
Speaker 1: it seems it seems like opie fiance is kind of

707
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 1: like a dot like leaning into this adoption to the

708
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 1: like adopted son role, which is like, I don't know,

709
00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: it's like a bit like let me use this.

710
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 2: You know if I necessarily see it as opportunistic. But

711
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 2: I do see it as a like red flag that

712
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 2: he is siding with the parents on these issues.

713
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,319
Speaker 1: I'm making an assumption, but yeah, it's it's it's at

714
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 1: the bare minimum. It's very strange that not sighting with

715
00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:30,040
Speaker 1: is usually you side with your partner that's the one

716
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 1: you love and like literally live your life with. So

717
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 1: it after the proposal, which was very elaborate and surprising

718
00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: and orchestrated by my parents.

719
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:43,440
Speaker 2: My parents who also has orchestrated the proposal.

720
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 1: They're also wedding planners, it seems that's that's interesting. They

721
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:51,239
Speaker 1: all started talking with me about planning the big day

722
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 1: and even offered to pay for everything.

723
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 2: Wow.

724
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,840
Speaker 1: I mentioned wanting to invite my sister, and they shut

725
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:03,880
Speaker 1: the idea down immediately, talking about how she disrespected the

726
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: family and cut them off and all that. Buddy, it

727
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,240
Speaker 1: sounds like you cut the sister off.

728
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:13,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow.

729
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 1: They basically gave me an ultimatum either have my wedding

730
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 1: planned and paid for by them or have my sister there,

731
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 1: and they do not come at all.

732
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 2: Fuck.

733
00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 1: What a terrible, awful, absolutely effing awful. Why why you

734
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 1: would literally miss your own child's wedding because of something

735
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,440
Speaker 1: as stupid as that your own child's wedding.

736
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:43,399
Speaker 2: Dude, that I feel like, that's a hard decision. That's

737
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 2: a very hard decision. That's a hard decision. Maybe like

738
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 2: maybe you have like a double wedding or something. I

739
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 2: don't know this is, but that's tough. Fuck.

740
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:57,759
Speaker 1: I took my parents off. In the end, I finally

741
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 1: decided to take my parents offer because I can't really

742
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 1: afford to pay for an entire wedding, and because my

743
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: fiance pressured me into accepting it.

744
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 2: The fiance sounds like, I don't know, not not not

745
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 2: not great. Fiance is like that's more in bed with

746
00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:18,640
Speaker 2: the parents.

747
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 1: Then I broke the news to my sister and she's

748
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 1: very understandably upset. But I'm still inviting her to a

749
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 1: smaller after party over Zoom so we can still be

750
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 1: together on the big day over Zoom. Though over Zoom,

751
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 1: like a Zoom after party that's almost like injury.

752
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean.

753
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:42,440
Speaker 1: I still feel really guilty about this though, So Reddit,

754
00:36:42,760 --> 00:36:43,759
Speaker 1: am I the a hole?

755
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 2: Dude?

756
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:51,360
Speaker 1: I mean this, this is a drastically drastically challenging situation

757
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 1: to be in, and.

758
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 2: You know, not the a whole not yeah, not the

759
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 2: a whole. I don't know if, like, like, by accepting

760
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 2: this kind of wedding, you're probably doing so in a

761
00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:11,120
Speaker 2: way that doesn't completely align with your values. Yeah, I'm like, I'm.

762
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 3: So.

763
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 1: Here's here's one question I have. The parents later in

764
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:21,759
Speaker 1: the story offered to pay for the wedding, so were

765
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 1: they going to pay for the wedding themselves? Before like

766
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:26,839
Speaker 1: it came up.

767
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 2: I think I think they were. It seems like they

768
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:32,800
Speaker 2: were going to pay for the wedding. Yeah maybe maybe,

769
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:36,720
Speaker 2: I mean, but I don't know. I mean.

770
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 1: So actually probably the payment is in all and in

771
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 1: the grander scheme of things, the payment issue is the

772
00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:50,200
Speaker 1: much smaller issue. The issue is the parents and the sister.

773
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 2: I mean the payment is a huge issue though too.

774
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 2: That's like, can be I mean a wedding like like

775
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 2: like a like a like a bigger wedding if you

776
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 2: want to have a big wedding. It's like can we think?

777
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 1: But the thing is, we recently had some friends Mary

778
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,960
Speaker 1: that paid like less than three thousand dollars for their wedding.

779
00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:09,720
Speaker 2: So it's like it was on a beach. It was amazing.

780
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 1: Actually they had they made like a handmaide like chalkboard

781
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,160
Speaker 1: sign and who was on the beach, like, I mean,

782
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:18,799
Speaker 1: it had all of them Like it's it had the

783
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 1: same like impact as like a kind of big fancy

784
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 1: wedding wood in my opinion, And so at the end

785
00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 1: of the day, there it sucks because this is supposed

786
00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 1: to this It's totally fair for it to be like, hey,

787
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 1: this is op's like big day like OP should be

788
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 1: able to have you know what she wants, but like

789
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 1: either way, this is an absolutely f FT scenario all around,

790
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 1: all around, all around,