Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 2: Okay, so last week was interesting. A lot of stuff
Speaker 2: came out in the press. I feel like wide this
Speaker 2: one girl DM me. She's like, can y'all just stop
Speaker 2: talking about things that the press will grab because I'm
Speaker 2: so sick of defending y'all. And I was like, I'm
Speaker 2: so sorry, I know, but I'm just like, our podcast
Speaker 2: is about relationships and I just feel like it's important to,
Speaker 2: you know, talk about things that come up and ways
Speaker 2: that we handle it. And she was just she's like, no,
Speaker 2: I totally get it. She's like, it's just the people
Speaker 2: that I don't know us just kind of read a
Speaker 2: headline and when they hear like oh Mike cheated again,
Speaker 2: they don't actually click on it to read to read
Speaker 2: the article the article. So it's you know, I had
Speaker 2: a few people reach out.
Speaker 3: Did you have any like friends reach out?
Speaker 2: I had an old sister in law reach out, and
Speaker 2: then I had I had two people just check in
Speaker 2: with me and say, is everything okay? I heard the
Speaker 2: news or I saw an article wanted to make sure
Speaker 2: it wasn't true, And I was like, oh, it's like,
Speaker 2: you know, people, are you know also will say, well,
Speaker 2: you know, we're just trying to get attention, or you know,
Speaker 2: they'll say like enough of them already, like this is
Speaker 2: just all for money and all for show, and.
Speaker 3: Where's the money, show me the show me the money.
Speaker 3: If it's all about the.
Speaker 2: Money, I think it's just one of those things where
Speaker 2: you know, we've and it's kind of the same thing
Speaker 2: when people ask us about our book, like why why
Speaker 2: do we talk about all this stuff? And you know,
Speaker 2: it's we know that it's helping people. We know that
Speaker 2: there's certain things that we talk about that it helps people,
Speaker 2: and that group of people we are doing this for
Speaker 2: because the other people aren't going to get us. They're
Speaker 2: not going to like us, they haven't liked us, they'll
Speaker 2: never like us. And I'm kind of just I'm now
Speaker 2: just okay with it. Yeah, And usually I feel like
Speaker 2: I would come to the defense or be like no, no, no,
Speaker 2: no no, but it's like whatever, they're gonna believe what
Speaker 2: they're going to believe. We know our truth, we know
Speaker 2: our story, and it's kind of it is what it is.
Speaker 2: But we are excited to get Shari. She's been on
Speaker 2: our show before. She's kind of like an all in
Speaker 2: one thing from life coach therapist. She's just motivator, motivator,
Speaker 2: So we're gonna get her on the show. I'm really
Speaker 2: excited to talk to her again because it's been a while.
Speaker 2: And yeah, I don't know. I mean, how do you
Speaker 2: feel about everything? Bebe?
Speaker 3: I mean, it's one of those things you kind of
Speaker 3: hit it all on the head. It's at this point
Speaker 3: I am getting better at not paying attention to any
Speaker 3: of that kind of noise. And it's just like, okay,
Speaker 3: because we just know the truth and I'm farther out
Speaker 3: of my shame. We're closer together with our connection and
Speaker 3: trust on things. So just people are clickbait man. People
Speaker 3: are gonna see things, and unfortunately people are drawn to
Speaker 3: negative news rather than positive. I feel like, so, I mean,
Speaker 3: it is what it is. People can think what they want,
Speaker 3: and even before stuff like this comes out, people still say,
Speaker 3: I give them five years.
Speaker 2: She's gonna yeah, pres Hilton goes, I see Chloe, I
Speaker 2: see like this is Chloe and interest in two years.
Speaker 2: I'm calling it.
Speaker 3: Oh geez.
Speaker 2: But I don't know, do you have any regrets because
Speaker 2: of the things that come out and that we do
Speaker 2: talk about about sharing so publicly about everything.
Speaker 3: I mean, yes and no, sure would be great just
Speaker 3: to live our private life, our personal life privately and
Speaker 3: not worry about all these people having opinions, whether positive
Speaker 3: or negative, and you know, people writing articles that aren't
Speaker 3: true or make creating headlines that just for attention or clickbait.
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, that gets old and it gets frustrating
Speaker 3: when it's about your personal life. But on the other hand,
Speaker 3: the people that we've connected with and the people that
Speaker 3: have reached out to us and the people close to us,
Speaker 3: the benefit that we see firsthand from what we've talked about,
Speaker 3: what we've shared completely outweighs the negative. You know, the
Speaker 3: fact that, like the guy that I had lunch with
Speaker 3: a week or so ago, and just for people being
Speaker 3: willing to open up to me man a man about things,
Speaker 3: I'm like, this is why we did it for me.
Speaker 3: I was like, this is more connectedness than I could
Speaker 3: ever think of from a someone who was a stranger.
Speaker 3: So again, the fact, I mean, you've seen the amount
Speaker 3: of people that have and men that have opened up
Speaker 3: to me or to us, or couples that have opened
Speaker 3: up to us around this stuff. So it's just that
Speaker 3: outweighs all the negative for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, we have Chari in the waiting room right now,
Speaker 2: so let's get her in and chat about all things
Speaker 2: twenty twenty in relationships. Hey, Schari, how are you?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Wo hey, it's great to see you guys.
Speaker 2: Good to see all too. Okay, Sure, how has twenty
Speaker 2: twenty been for you?
Speaker 1: Oh? Boy? It has been like surfing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, especially with your you know, your background, because your life, coach, therapist,
Speaker 2: kind of all in one everything. So has it just
Speaker 2: been exploding?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, I think I think we. I have been
Speaker 1: saying to the people who do the work that I do,
Speaker 1: like we were made for these times. We clearly have
Speaker 1: been preparing for this moment because it's been a rocky
Speaker 1: ride for me, and I've got a lot of tools,
Speaker 1: you know, So I feel like I am hopeful that
Speaker 1: these waves are making us do the inner work.
Speaker 2: Everybody, when you say that, you know you've obviously, because
Speaker 2: we've all experienced twenty twenty and had our own challenges
Speaker 2: along the way. For someone who is supposed to be
Speaker 2: so uplifting and encouraging and helpful when you face your
Speaker 2: own kind of inner demons, because I know sometimes with
Speaker 2: Mike and I when we aren't communicating good, but I'm like,
Speaker 2: but we wrote about it and we say to do this,
Speaker 2: but we're not doing it. And but then with you too,
Speaker 2: where it's like, if you feel depressed and you don't
Speaker 2: know how to lift yourself up, do you kind of
Speaker 2: get more harder on yourself?
Speaker 1: Oh? For sure there are times. Well I would say
Speaker 1: more when I was a little younger, because I think
Speaker 1: I've been around the block now long enough to know
Speaker 1: that we have to be working our own wisdom, our
Speaker 1: own tools always. And I'm really clear about that with people.
Speaker 1: I may be, you know, a couple steps ahead sometimes
Speaker 1: than somebody else, or have been through, you know, a
Speaker 1: particular challenge and use the tools more. But anybody who
Speaker 1: says that they've got it all dialed, you know, who
Speaker 1: don't use their own walk, their own talk, you know
Speaker 1: that I'd be a little bit cautious about, you know
Speaker 1: for sure. And so I think what I know I
Speaker 1: need is perspective. I need. I need my people. You
Speaker 1: can have all the tools in the world, but it's
Speaker 1: sometimes very hard to do it alone. And so this
Speaker 1: this time has had me just really nurture relationships and
Speaker 1: spend more time you know, on the lovely screen, right
Speaker 1: Unfortunately with the people that root me, who you know,
Speaker 1: reflect back to me my own humanity and make it easier,
Speaker 1: because yeah, I think we all go a little bit
Speaker 1: crazy for sort of in our own heads trying to
Speaker 1: be perfect at all this.
Speaker 3: I think that's a great point for you know, I
Speaker 3: make up. I know I'm this way is try to
Speaker 3: do so many things on my own right when it's
Speaker 3: like we don't have to, you know, and so many
Speaker 3: people want to just struggle, like no one's gotten to
Speaker 3: where they've gotten without help, you know, and whether it's
Speaker 3: directly or indirectly, So especially in these times, I think
Speaker 3: that's a great point for our listeners to kind of
Speaker 3: hold on to and sure it. You know, you're also
Speaker 3: titled as a let me see if I can say
Speaker 3: it correctly possibilitarian. Yeah yeah, but she said, can you
Speaker 3: can you give myself and our listeners kind of a
Speaker 3: synopsis of what that that you know, what that title means.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I'm technically called like the founder of
Speaker 1: the Luminaries or a board certified coach, all those you know,
Speaker 1: titles that feel more traditional, But I think the possibilitarian
Speaker 1: title came in at a certain point where I just said,
Speaker 1: look at the bottom of the bottom line the end
Speaker 1: of the day. I am here to do what I
Speaker 1: do because I believe that anything is possible. I will
Speaker 1: stop at nothing to get you what you want and
Speaker 1: to answer the big questions that I think people get
Speaker 1: stuck with in life, like who am I and what
Speaker 1: am I here to do? The big questions? And I
Speaker 1: think ultimately we are infinitely free and powerful beyond our understanding,
Speaker 1: and we're not told that by our culture, by our
Speaker 1: parents unless we're really lucky. And my job is to
Speaker 1: come in and hold up like a big mirror and
Speaker 1: just be like, look, you are the universe. You are everything,
Speaker 1: and you are capable of everything. It's just maybe that
Speaker 1: you don't believe that or you don't exactly know how
Speaker 1: to go about it. And that's where I come in.
Speaker 1: I think I have just a weird way of getting
Speaker 1: just creative enough to overcome any obstacle.
Speaker 3: You know on that topic is there, you know, because
Speaker 3: I understand just from talking to people, friends, family, whatever,
Speaker 3: you know. I feel like everyone at some point in
Speaker 3: their life has a crossroads where it's like should I
Speaker 3: stay in the career, the job that I'm in, or
Speaker 3: should I take this unknown leap into something completely different
Speaker 3: or new that you know someone has an opportunity in.
Speaker 3: Is there ever a time that you've worked with somebody
Speaker 3: that you're like, no, don't take that chance.
Speaker 1: Hmm wow, No, probably not what I and I never
Speaker 1: even look at crossroads like that as binary, like there's
Speaker 1: a black or a white, a right or wrong. There's
Speaker 1: always a multitude for sure of ways. Right. So let's say,
Speaker 1: the only thing that I can think about in a
Speaker 1: particular scenario like that where I would advise somebody to
Speaker 1: wait a minute, would be if taking the leap caused
Speaker 1: enormous amounts of stress financially, you know, if it would
Speaker 1: put if it would cause harm anxiety in a way
Speaker 1: that was unbearable, then I would say, let's stay with
Speaker 1: enough certainty at the current job or in the current
Speaker 1: relationship to continue to figure out what the next move is,
Speaker 1: to plot out, you know, and be in kind of
Speaker 1: a hybrid scenario where we use the certainty and the
Speaker 1: safety of the current situation to strategize what next and
Speaker 1: not make it immediately. Because that that's true for some people.
Speaker 1: You know they can't give out like the golden handcuffs
Speaker 1: at the great check, the paycheck whatever to go for
Speaker 1: the dream job. But no, I mean that life is short.
Speaker 1: I will always help people live the dream.
Speaker 2: What if it's one of those things though, where you
Speaker 2: know they want to be a singer but their tone deaf,
Speaker 2: you know where it's like.
Speaker 3: That's where you ain't got it, sister.
Speaker 2: Sorry, like you do you kind of go well, maybe
Speaker 2: you should, you know, it's like, how do you when
Speaker 2: it's like, because there are there has to be those
Speaker 2: because I'm like, I have to think that we're going
Speaker 2: to be those parents that not discourage. But if we're like, hey, honey,
Speaker 2: like you're tone deaf, let's try to get maybe lessons,
Speaker 2: but you know, do you want to try soccer or
Speaker 2: you know, like how do you do that when you're
Speaker 2: just like, ah, that's tough because I don't know how
Speaker 2: many people that can get over being tone deaf. I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 1: But see that's where maybe the possibilitarian and me kicks
Speaker 1: in because I'm like, all right, well, we just need
Speaker 1: to go to the top, you know, we need to
Speaker 1: find the person who will absolutely crack you open and
Speaker 1: you'll have that experience. Now what if that I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know, if the person didn't like make it,
Speaker 1: you know at the full time gate go professional, because
Speaker 1: we know that career is a hard one. They should
Speaker 1: still sing all the goddamn time. I would be like,
Speaker 1: you need to go karaoke, you need to have a band,
Speaker 1: you need to have friends over. Really you need to
Speaker 1: do all that because clearly, I believe if we have desires,
Speaker 1: even if they're not matched with talent, the desires are
Speaker 1: and us for a reason, they're they're pointing us in
Speaker 1: the direction of the life we're supposed to have. So
Speaker 1: I would say, you know, follow that joy in whatever way.
Speaker 1: But yeah, there is refinement. So if they were help
Speaker 1: on being a professional, then we would scale up.
Speaker 3: So is there in your experience have you worked with
Speaker 3: someone that maybe it's not as black and white like that,
Speaker 3: like either you can sing, you can't, but maybe someone
Speaker 3: wants to get go into a certain direction in the
Speaker 3: does any realistic part of you come out and be like, hmm,
Speaker 3: just knowing what you know about them, it might not
Speaker 3: be the best and you steer them maybe in a
Speaker 3: similar but different direction. I don't know, you know, how
Speaker 3: you get.
Speaker 1: There's the whole discovery process that I go through where
Speaker 1: I dig deep into someone's soul, you know, really through
Speaker 1: a process of asking great questions and opening up this
Speaker 1: kind of liminal space to just remember what you already know.
Speaker 2: Can we try that right now? Can you do that
Speaker 2: with Mike?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't. We can start it. I mean it
Speaker 1: takes some time, you know, let's.
Speaker 2: Dig deep in that soul, baby, but I feel like
Speaker 2: he needs we need to dig deep in this one.
Speaker 2: Let's just try. Can we try?
Speaker 1: Are you at a career crossroads? Is that what we're
Speaker 1: looking at?
Speaker 3: Why?
Speaker 2: I don't know? You tell me.
Speaker 3: I think Janna just wants to keep me busy.
Speaker 2: Do you do you say sometimes that you don't. You
Speaker 2: might question your my what you're go get them? So
Speaker 2: maybe it's not because maybe that means you're not passionate
Speaker 2: in it.
Speaker 3: I think. Okay, So for me, I came from a
Speaker 3: career that was everything was scheduled for me. I was
Speaker 3: regimented every I mean every hour, every minute, every day.
Speaker 3: And then when I transitioned out, I mean that was
Speaker 3: my entire life with athletics and you know, in college
Speaker 3: and professionally and then getting out of that. You know,
Speaker 3: there was a challenge trying to find that. I think
Speaker 3: now it's still I mean, Jane and I do a
Speaker 3: lot of things together. Obviously we do this, We had
Speaker 3: the book. You know, there's other projects we want to
Speaker 3: work on, both together and individually, but there's don't I
Speaker 3: don't know if I have that thing right now that
Speaker 3: I wake up every morning that motivates me to work on,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. I'm not waking up like Jana.
Speaker 3: She's a creator. It's unbelievable she I think it's like
Speaker 3: every other day she throws an id at me and
Speaker 3: she's like, would this begun on Shark Tank? And then
Speaker 3: just lets it out, you know what I mean, Like yeah,
Speaker 3: and I feel bad because I'm the realist and I
Speaker 3: just have to like shut it down. I'll negate it
Speaker 3: with something well that already exists or this would happen
Speaker 3: or whatever. She's the dreamer and I love her for it.
Speaker 3: And you know, I feel bad sometimes because I don't
Speaker 3: have that imagination or that creativeness as much as she does.
Speaker 2: And I'll say too, because there are things that I
Speaker 2: want to do with him. I don't get that and
Speaker 2: like that energy from him. So in my mind, I'm like,
Speaker 2: all right, he clearly doesn't want to do this because
Speaker 2: he's not following up with it. I've said it ten times,
Speaker 2: and I mean, so I have that. Okay, Well I'm
Speaker 2: gonna then veer a different way and go a different
Speaker 2: way because I don't think he's passionate about that. And
Speaker 2: that's fine, but I just wish he would tell me
Speaker 2: kind of. I guess it's like the drive is like
Speaker 2: you're missing, which makes me I make up that you
Speaker 2: might not be passionate about it, and so it's like
Speaker 2: where where do we Where do we ignite the drive?
Speaker 2: Like how can we find something that does ignite you
Speaker 2: that you do get excited about instead of just like
Speaker 2: we have to go in the office and write, you know,
Speaker 2: or do something.
Speaker 3: Oh the book?
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, I know you were, but again it
Speaker 2: took flight to the fire and that stresses me out.
Speaker 2: So dealing with I'm like, this is our schedule. Let's
Speaker 2: do it, like this week we do this, and this
Speaker 2: week we edit and this new work, this chapter and
Speaker 2: it was like two months left, and I'm like, what
Speaker 2: do you do? Like we gotta go man like and
Speaker 2: then he's like and He's like, now I'll work and
Speaker 2: I'm like, huh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, why did you say, Mike, you worked better on
Speaker 1: what under pressure? Under pressure? Well? Yeah, this is what
Speaker 1: I want to go back to, is when when you
Speaker 1: were highly scheduled did you love that?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Because I knew what my day looked like. There
Speaker 3: wasn't any plan. It was just he got me out
Speaker 3: of my own way of justifying rationalizing. Nah, I do
Speaker 3: it later. Oh, I'll do it you know tomorrow. Oh
Speaker 3: it's not that important and it's my job and I'll
Speaker 3: get fined if I didn't go. So you know that
Speaker 3: that helped motivate me as well.
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, yeah, So there are a couple of
Speaker 1: things coming up for me that you know, when I
Speaker 1: when I talk about ultimate career strategy with people like
Speaker 1: what would have you be? I think where you are
Speaker 1: Jenna like lit up passionate about something like fully on fire.
Speaker 1: Being in your creator is you have to know what
Speaker 1: your essence is, like the essence of you, the gift
Speaker 1: of you, like the thing that is just uniquely you,
Speaker 1: and go where you'll be used for that. So I
Speaker 1: don't know that you've found that yet. You know that
Speaker 1: you could and or even when Janna brings you an
Speaker 1: idea and says, let's get really excited about this, and
Speaker 1: you are, but the role that you're supposed to play
Speaker 1: is still not clear, like what you actually have to do?
Speaker 1: Do you know? And there could be I mean, as
Speaker 1: an entrepreneur, I know there's a lot of things that
Speaker 1: I have to do that I don't particularly love, that
Speaker 1: aren't my essence, that just come with the territory. So
Speaker 1: that needs to be sorted out. And you may just
Speaker 1: get on board with an idea and still put up
Speaker 1: with some of that dragging your feet a little bit
Speaker 1: because it's just not it's not your ultimate joy. But
Speaker 1: I think I think it'd be interesting to see, like
Speaker 1: what is the thing that's uniquely you that you want
Speaker 1: to go for, Whether or not that might be a
Speaker 1: shared project with you, Jane, I don't know, because right
Speaker 1: now it just doesn't feel like anything's totally calling you.
Speaker 1: And that's nothing to feel bad about. We lose our mojo,
Speaker 1: our motivation all the time when when we're not on
Speaker 1: a clear path, when we're not aligned with what we're
Speaker 1: here for.
Speaker 2: No, and I've always told him too, like I've always
Speaker 2: been the like I would love to do this with you,
Speaker 2: but if you don't want to do this, like because
Speaker 2: I know he really wanted to go in law enforcement
Speaker 2: and we've talked about it a few times on the show,
Speaker 2: and you know he wanted to. But it's that kind
Speaker 2: of that thing where it's like he was like, nah,
Speaker 2: like this is easier, or you know, like I know
Speaker 2: you've got a real estate license, but you haven't really
Speaker 2: worked on it. So it's just it's one of those
Speaker 2: things where I'm like, and that's okay. If that's not
Speaker 2: your passion, then let's then then don't do it. But
Speaker 2: you put these things out there and then you don't,
Speaker 2: you don't go through it. And so but I want
Speaker 2: to be your supporter, Like I want to be like, Okay,
Speaker 2: what am I going to support you on? Is it
Speaker 2: the real estate? Is it our projects? Is it you know,
Speaker 2: is it's law enforcement? Like what is it that like
Speaker 2: will ignite you and excite you to want to get
Speaker 2: out there and do it?
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think what's coming up for me is because
Speaker 3: of my background of just being so scheduled and it
Speaker 3: was non negotiable, right, Like it wasn't like the time
Speaker 3: may change, it was that's the time you're doing something period.
Speaker 2: I mean, I can schedule you. You know, that's my dream.
Speaker 2: My dream is to schedule anytime we ever lose a bet.
Speaker 2: I'm like my dream and what I would do it's
Speaker 2: not a it's not an hour massage or whatever. Or
Speaker 2: I would love to schedule his week like it would
Speaker 2: just give me and you know what would be. It'd
Speaker 2: be like he gets to work out from this time
Speaker 2: to this time, he gets, you know whatever, go plays
Speaker 2: golf on Tuesdays and then we do a pro It's
Speaker 2: like I would it would give me so much joy.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, and I feel like he would be
Speaker 2: happier because I know you love schedules.
Speaker 3: Yeah, again, what comes up?
Speaker 1: I agree?
Speaker 3: I agree, I concur What comes up for me is
Speaker 3: because of things that we do do there there is
Speaker 3: a changing of schedules at times. Sometimes you'll have things
Speaker 3: that change. Sometimes you'll have to do this at this
Speaker 3: time instead and this time and this time, so hey,
Speaker 3: actually this got moved, So can you wash the kids now?
Speaker 3: So I can do this? And for me, it gives
Speaker 3: me so much anxiety, even though it's a normal question,
Speaker 3: but it just does because I come from that background.
Speaker 3: Just schedule schedule, schedule. If I schedule something and it
Speaker 3: has to change, yeah, it like and then I take
Speaker 3: it personal, like my doesn't matter. Yeah, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 2: And we just had that argument yesterday.
Speaker 3: I don't even remember this morning, let alone yesterday.
Speaker 2: Well it was about that where it was like your
Speaker 2: time and you felt taken advantage of and correct, correct
Speaker 2: and so And in my mind, I'm like, what how,
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And Jan is so good at at you know,
Speaker 3: when it comes to work stuff, she's so good at
Speaker 3: being more flexible or like her schedule of her day.
Speaker 3: It's just I have such a hard time. So my
Speaker 3: fear is that if I say, hey, you know, I
Speaker 3: want to work out from nine to ten, then from
Speaker 3: ten thirty to twelve thirty on a studying my real
Speaker 3: estate stuff, and then from this time this time. But
Speaker 3: it's like it's not realistic because we don't have full
Speaker 3: time help with the kids. They go to school twice
Speaker 3: a week. We have a babysitter once a week. But
Speaker 3: we're around the kids all the time. We have stuff
Speaker 3: to do, we have you know, podcast stuff. Isn't like
Speaker 3: every Tuesday at this time we do it. That's ever changing.
Speaker 3: You know stuff that she has to to post or
Speaker 3: do whatever is Hey, I got to do this real quick.
Speaker 3: Can you handle the kids? Yes? Of course, and.
Speaker 2: So but if I just sense your anxiety just you
Speaker 2: talking about her now, no, I know that's I can
Speaker 2: feel like You're like.
Speaker 3: But if that became a constant thing, if I started
Speaker 3: schedule stuff, my fears if I schedule stuff, why do
Speaker 3: he text that I know my fears if I schedule things, Man,
Speaker 3: this is like real coming up that.
Speaker 2: I haven't really Oh, I feel it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so sorry my fears that if I schedule
Speaker 3: things and I'm constantly asked, hey, I need a few
Speaker 3: minutes to do this, can you do it? Then I again,
Speaker 3: I take it personal. I'm like, Okay, your post or
Speaker 3: whatever you have to do right now is more important
Speaker 3: than me sitting down to even if it was me
Speaker 3: sitting down to eat lunch and now was the time
Speaker 3: that I scheduled to eat lunch, that would drive me nuts.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Oh man, I feel it, baby, Mike.
Speaker 1: I wanted to completely validate what you're going through. My
Speaker 1: son is sixteen years old, and if I ask him
Speaker 1: to wash my car out of nowhere, he loses his
Speaker 1: mind because He's like, I already had a plan for
Speaker 1: the day. You didn't tell me. This is a masculine
Speaker 1: energy thing that Jenna and I when we're in our
Speaker 1: masculine when we are, and what that equates to is
Speaker 1: producing a result. When I am headstone trying to produce
Speaker 1: a result and somebody comes and interrupts me, it's crazy
Speaker 1: because now I can't produce the result. It's like you've
Speaker 1: thwarded me on my road to winning. It'd be like
Speaker 1: you and you know your sports, and somebody comes and
Speaker 1: you know, like takes you out of your schedule, and
Speaker 1: you're like, this is no negotiable. I'm trying to win
Speaker 1: the game. Like that is what we're doing when we're
Speaker 1: in that sort of laser focus, and it's getting really
Speaker 1: crushed being at home with kids and all of us
Speaker 1: all up in each other's business. You know, like if
Speaker 1: you went to an office and you could just power through,
Speaker 1: you'd be so happy. Because it also meets the need
Speaker 1: for certainty and control to be able to be in
Speaker 1: charge of something in your life. So this is kind
Speaker 1: of a core issue that you've kind of just been like, Eh,
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm I don't think I'm going to
Speaker 1: put any stake in the ground because that's going to
Speaker 1: be that's going to cause so much pain. You don't
Speaker 1: have what you need in order to get passionate about
Speaker 1: something because you know you don't have what it what
Speaker 1: you need in order to win.
Speaker 2: And I feel like it goes back to for you
Speaker 2: to within the beginning where it was like it's all
Speaker 2: about you in your schedule and what instead of really
Speaker 2: vocalizing what you need and being you know, having the flexibility.
Speaker 2: But unfortunately take you take it on so personal that
Speaker 2: just because I say, hey, can you I gotta post
Speaker 2: this or and redo it or whatever. You know, you
Speaker 2: automatically go to your stuff. Isn't important and that's not true,
Speaker 2: but that's how that's what you feel, and that sucks.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that that's what you hold.
Speaker 1: Well. If we go super like DNA with this, you
Speaker 1: and I, Janna, if we identify more feminine. This is
Speaker 1: not a gender thing. But if you're in that flow
Speaker 1: state and you're a creator and you're just going multitasking
Speaker 1: doing one thing to the next, that says to me
Speaker 1: that you are working that DNA that we had when
Speaker 1: we were like cave women go out into the field
Speaker 1: and we go with all of our friends and we'd
Speaker 1: make sure the tiger didn't meet the kids. And I
Speaker 1: got all the blueberries that wouldn't kill the tribe, and
Speaker 1: like we're doing fifty million things. We're like, hey, girl,
Speaker 1: grab the coat. He's about to get hit by the tiger.
Speaker 1: It's like, you just can do that. You know, when
Speaker 1: somebody is in that I gotta hunt the deer. Kill
Speaker 1: the deer that's not going on, And don't ask me
Speaker 1: to do something while I got it in my line
Speaker 1: of sight, because then I will miss him and we
Speaker 1: will not eat for a month. You know. It's that
Speaker 1: kind of dynamic that's happening right now. And you're like, girlfriend,
Speaker 1: can you help me with the kids?
Speaker 2: And he's like yeah. And we're getting into an argument
Speaker 2: when I ask him a question when he makes a
Speaker 2: peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I'm like, what do
Speaker 2: you mean you can't talk to me and make a
Speaker 2: sandwich like it's miny points.
Speaker 1: Liver dye needs to eat now, don't interrupt me. Put
Speaker 1: my sandwich in my face, then I'll talk to you.
Speaker 1: It's a thing. It's a real I've studied this for
Speaker 1: years and one of a great the great resource on
Speaker 1: this is Alison Armstrong. She does work with understanding our differences.
Speaker 1: That is game changing.
Speaker 2: So what do we do about that so that he
Speaker 2: doesn't have and doesn't have to hold this anxiety? Because
Speaker 2: that I mean when he talks about like, I could
Speaker 2: feel the chat. I feel the heaviness and the how
Speaker 2: you talk and your breathing, and you know it's.
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for you, Janna, that you can be
Speaker 1: that compassionate empathet. I can feel him, because that's the start.
Speaker 1: That's it right there. If you didn't understand and you
Speaker 1: were shaming him for this and making him feel less
Speaker 1: than that's what a lot of us do. You know,
Speaker 1: We're like, what's wrong with you? You can only think
Speaker 1: of one thing at a time.
Speaker 2: I appreciate that, but can I ask for something with that?
Speaker 2: Because it's an argument that comes up in our relationship
Speaker 2: where he'll say I'm fake supportive, and so he'll if
Speaker 2: he wants to do something, but then something comes up
Speaker 2: and there's an issue around it, He's like, you're being
Speaker 2: fake supportive, and it's like, but something might just change
Speaker 2: and maybe a feeling or or a schedule or something
Speaker 2: and I and when he takes it personal like that,
Speaker 2: how can I still support but also have my own
Speaker 2: experience and says along with it or changes in schedule
Speaker 2: or without being like because it's hurtful when he says that,
Speaker 2: because I'm like, I always want to support and make him,
Speaker 2: you know, and just I want to encourage him to
Speaker 2: do what he wants to do and be happy.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, And I think just knowing that, just hold
Speaker 1: on to that, Mike, that the intention is always there
Speaker 1: to be a really good supporter. And this is just
Speaker 1: a micro shift. This is what's working with so many
Speaker 1: couples I know that I've been working with this year
Speaker 1: of trying to redraw the lines and the rules being
Speaker 1: at home together. I think there needs to be an
Speaker 1: agreed upon block of time that he gets that you
Speaker 1: also get by the way that you both get this
Speaker 1: block of uninterrupted time that is honored at all costs
Speaker 1: unless somebody is bleeding, you know what I mean. Yeah,
Speaker 1: where he knows he can count on this time and
Speaker 1: that in that moment I call it, he goes into
Speaker 1: this mode of being accountable for something. He's to produce something,
Speaker 1: even if it's his own just zoning out, you know,
Speaker 1: and not doing anything sacred time for him to produce
Speaker 1: a result. You then, de facto become the supporter. He's
Speaker 1: a protector, provider of this result, and you become a
Speaker 1: supporter enhancer, which means your job is to make his
Speaker 1: experience successful and delightful, you know. And you'd never take
Speaker 1: on this role de facto. It has to be agreed
Speaker 1: upon that you want to do this, otherwise you become
Speaker 1: reluctant supporter. And I don't think that's fake support for you.
Speaker 1: I'm not getting your reluctant. You just life is happening
Speaker 1: and changing and that makes it difficult to support him well,
Speaker 1: so you throughout each day it changes. What would supporting
Speaker 1: you today look like, Kenney, how can I support you exactly?
Speaker 1: You know? And what do we do if something comes up?
Speaker 1: There should be no interruptions. I think that's really how
Speaker 1: it has to work. And you know that you equally
Speaker 1: have the same thing, Like I have a particular client
Speaker 1: right now now. You can hear that kids are blood
Speaker 1: curdling screaming in the background while she's trying to do
Speaker 1: like strategic work with me, and it's because her husband
Speaker 1: cannot corral the kids. He just he doesn't have control
Speaker 1: over them, Like this is not negotiable that you have
Speaker 1: to leave what you're doing and try to corral them
Speaker 1: just because he can't do it, so they had to
Speaker 1: bring an extra help or you know, they're they're just
Speaker 1: there needs to be very very firm boundaries around each
Speaker 1: other's time. And then when you have feelings about changes
Speaker 1: or ways that things are you know, going, that need
Speaker 1: to be discussed, it's outside of that block of time,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe in a lovely place with a beverage
Speaker 1: where you get to say, Okay, let's refine how this
Speaker 1: is working. Here's how I'm feeling. This is what's coming
Speaker 1: up for me and Mike. You listen to learn. You
Speaker 1: just get curious about what she's saying that she's not
Speaker 1: she's not coming at this like she's trying to take
Speaker 1: away anything from me or not supporting you that wholeheartedly.
Speaker 1: She's trying to learn how to be a better supporter.
Speaker 1: And she's telling you what's going on for her. And
Speaker 1: then there's a deal to be made. Okay, what do
Speaker 1: you need, babe? What do you need? You go back
Speaker 1: and forth to try to find a new, greater arrangement,
Speaker 1: not a compromise where there's a loser. I'm not about
Speaker 1: this where somebody has to like suck it up. It's
Speaker 1: let's come, let's get creative enough to come up with
Speaker 1: a new way of doing things that really makes us
Speaker 1: both feel like winning. You know, I think you're very close.
Speaker 1: It's just it's just those two moves, fully honoring his
Speaker 1: time and then Mike you fully honoring hers, and then
Speaker 1: a little more discussion.
Speaker 2: I think I where my I might have a hard
Speaker 2: time with this and where I can understand where he
Speaker 2: comes in the fakes of when he will say that
Speaker 2: I'm fake supportive when let's say his time he uses
Speaker 2: is to go play video games or is to watch
Speaker 2: TV or something. And where I feel anxiety that comes
Speaker 2: up is what if I'm working that day and you know,
Speaker 2: maybe the hour that I went to go do is
Speaker 2: run but you know, maybe he didn't work the rest
Speaker 2: of the day or something. So then I start to
Speaker 2: get and I don't know what if Sometimes I might
Speaker 2: feel it's a maybe jealousy, but also it's like I
Speaker 2: might be like, well, why didn't he use his hour
Speaker 2: to work? You know, because that's that's his hour. So
Speaker 2: then that's where I can feel myself being fake supportive
Speaker 2: where even if it was video games, I need to
Speaker 2: support that, but I have sometimes I have a hard
Speaker 2: time with that if I don't feel his passion to like,
Speaker 2: go get it. But that's why I want him to
Speaker 2: find a passion, go get it, you know. So that's
Speaker 2: where it's so maybe then I wouldn't selfishly struggle as
Speaker 2: much to know that, you know, he's putting in the
Speaker 2: effort to work as well. I guess does that make sense?
Speaker 1: Like I yeah, yeah, I want to ask you, Jenna, though,
Speaker 1: what would it give you if he was passionate about something,
Speaker 1: if you felt like he was on a mission.
Speaker 2: It would inspire me to, you know, work harder too.
Speaker 2: I thrive off of you know, if he was like
Speaker 2: if it was something together, let's just say we have
Speaker 2: a few things that I'd love for us to do together,
Speaker 2: and he's like, all right, let's do it. Like I'm like, okay,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make sure we have a sitter and so
Speaker 2: then I'll get excited about it. If it's something that
Speaker 2: he wants to do by himself, that's great. Like I
Speaker 2: want him to be able to, you know, find something
Speaker 2: that he loves to do, you know, work wise, that
Speaker 2: he is excited and passionate about that he can grow
Speaker 2: and build, because then it makes me want to continue
Speaker 2: to grow and build my stuff, and I feel like
Speaker 2: it's nice to have the other partner, how do I
Speaker 2: say it, where it inspires me to to get excited
Speaker 2: about something as well.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, have you ever considered that maybe that person
Speaker 1: who would inspire you and get you fired up as
Speaker 1: a partner of somebody in your business world that would
Speaker 1: do stuff with you that's not Mike.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, and that's you know, I've I've had
Speaker 2: those conversations. I've been talking to a few girlfriends about
Speaker 2: doing kind of like a mom round table show. And
Speaker 2: the only reason is because you know, I want to
Speaker 2: if our stuff, you know I of course, you know,
Speaker 2: we're we're praying we get a book too, So that's
Speaker 2: something that we can do together. And you know, obviously
Speaker 2: this podcast and there's a few other things I would
Speaker 2: love to do together. But again, if it's not inspiring him,
Speaker 2: then however he wants to spend his time work wise,
Speaker 2: like I want to encourage him to do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, a couple of things. There's a lot said there.
Speaker 3: First is you know, with stuff together. Like I said,
Speaker 3: Jan is the idea genius should come up with something
Speaker 3: and be like, hey, I want to do let's do
Speaker 3: we should try working on this. I'm like okay, and
Speaker 3: then that's it. And then I feel like she'll come
Speaker 3: back around to me and be like, well, why didn't
Speaker 3: you bring it up again? Why didn't you schedule it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, this wasn't my idea. I was like, you
Speaker 3: got it. I'm simple. You got to tell me, hey,
Speaker 3: on Tuesday from ten o'clock to two o'clock, we're going
Speaker 3: to work on this. And then once I realize what
Speaker 3: we're doing and we're getting going, then I can do
Speaker 3: that too, and I feel like a part of it.
Speaker 3: But in the early stage of something, when it wasn't
Speaker 3: my idea, I feel like I'm a passenger until I
Speaker 3: grasp the concept and understand better. Because she's just more
Speaker 3: knowledgeable about some of the things that she wants to
Speaker 3: do because it's in her wheelhouse. I'm good once I
Speaker 3: get going. And then also she works differently. She could
Speaker 3: have ninety seconds, she can't sit down. She will find
Speaker 3: something to do, she'll fold two shirts, she'll do something
Speaker 3: and she sees me and I have a lot we
Speaker 3: joke because on the weekends is when I'm most productive.
Speaker 3: And I grew up where like weekends is like yard work,
Speaker 3: house stuff, Let's go, let's go, let's get after it.
Speaker 3: So weekends I'm more productive than I am during the week,
Speaker 3: and that's the only time she actually just wants to
Speaker 3: sit and chill. And then during the week I have
Speaker 3: an easier time just kind of hanging out and she
Speaker 3: can't sit for ninety seconds at all, And so it
Speaker 3: probably likes to her point where maybe come across his
Speaker 3: fake supportive is because she's working her ass off and
Speaker 3: she sees me, who doesn't have as much day to
Speaker 3: day work responsibility hanging out or going to play golf
Speaker 3: or whatever, and she probably is probably jealous, even though
Speaker 3: even if I did work the same amount, it's not
Speaker 3: like she would stop. She would continue to work harder.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's role clarification though, that I feel like is
Speaker 1: so important in this because if you bring an idea
Speaker 1: Janet to Mike and you're like, let's do this, you're
Speaker 1: kind of de fact of the leader on it. You're
Speaker 1: the one who had the idea, and you ultimately then
Speaker 1: get stuck in this supporter role. How can I help
Speaker 1: you bring this to life, babe, unless you guys sort
Speaker 1: it out and get really clear about who's in charge
Speaker 1: of what in order to produce this result together.
Speaker 2: You know. I think my problem is is that I
Speaker 2: sit back and I wait to see if there's passion
Speaker 2: behind there, because I have said a few things that
Speaker 2: I need his help on and I haven't seen you
Speaker 2: look into it or study different websites about it, So
Speaker 2: I kind of go back. It's kind of the same
Speaker 2: thing where our therapist said, hey, why don't you guys
Speaker 2: get a book you guys can read together? And you know,
Speaker 2: because I've really been wanting to like read a book together,
Speaker 2: and so I default almost to wait to till he
Speaker 2: brings it up, because in my mind, I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: if he doesn't bring it up, then that means he
Speaker 2: doesn't want to do it, and he doesn't you know,
Speaker 2: he's not passionate about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do I have to be as equally gung ho?
Speaker 3: Like I'm still willing to do it, But does it
Speaker 3: have like why do I have to match your.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's I don't want to do it if
Speaker 2: you're not excited, like I need the energy. I feed
Speaker 2: off of people's energy. I feed off of you know, Oh, yes,
Speaker 2: let's do it, Like okay, this day, we're you doing this?
Speaker 2: And hey, guy, I looked up a few websites that
Speaker 2: are similar to what we want to do or something,
Speaker 2: you know, and it's like I need Like that's just me.
Speaker 2: I guess I'm how do I how do I go
Speaker 2: alongside something when maybe the energy isn't there because I
Speaker 2: make up that. I'm like, he doesn't want to do it.
Speaker 3: But it's okay, let me see this real quick before
Speaker 3: Shari goes on that is I mean, is that fair
Speaker 3: to expect the same energy like something you're passionate I'm
Speaker 3: passionate about. I wouldn't expect the same passion from you.
Speaker 3: But sometimes we just do things for each other because
Speaker 3: we know it's important to one another. Like we can't
Speaker 3: always expect our partner to be just as enthusiastic or
Speaker 3: willing to do something and if they not not do
Speaker 3: it at all, because we do make sacrifices. We do
Speaker 3: do things because the other it's important to the other person.
Speaker 1: My take on this, Jenne, So you're coming at it
Speaker 1: with fire and you want fire to play with. It's
Speaker 1: the inspiration, the passion, that's what that element of excitement
Speaker 1: is what you feed off of. And I think if
Speaker 1: Mike doesn't have the same fire, we could look at
Speaker 1: another way that he might come in to support you
Speaker 1: that we haven't discussed yet. So imagine this when we're
Speaker 1: in that creative mode where're like dancing in the fire.
Speaker 1: That's that's how we are. And I think that's ultimately
Speaker 1: what's happening with women right now is we are in
Speaker 1: our power out there creating, doing so much great stuff
Speaker 1: in the world, and all the men that I'm working
Speaker 1: with are kind of like, what do I do with
Speaker 1: all of this? So you guys are not alone and
Speaker 1: having this conversation I need to say that, they're like,
Speaker 1: what do I do with her? She's on fire? And
Speaker 1: and you know, we want them to be with us
Speaker 1: because we crave connection and we love them and so
Speaker 1: we want to do it together. But there's another way
Speaker 1: that I'm seeing men show up ultimately that would have
Speaker 1: us get even more fired up and more powerful, not
Speaker 1: meeting us in the same energy, but actually being like
Speaker 1: the ground of our being, providing this grounded presence like earth,
Speaker 1: you know, fire and earth, like he just could lay
Speaker 1: there and watch you and be there for you and
Speaker 1: cheer you on and give you this safety that you
Speaker 1: need to go out there and do all the things.
Speaker 1: That's another way of being in partnership that I could see,
Speaker 1: Like you can tell Mike's got this really grounded energy,
Speaker 1: like a stillness that ultimately is the masculine. It's this stillness,
Speaker 1: this consciousness, this awareness you know, that we want to
Speaker 1: be witnessed by. We want them to watch us, see
Speaker 1: us go like, oh my god, man, you and all
Speaker 1: your creative you know. And that could be one way
Speaker 1: that I think we could just take the pressure off
Speaker 1: being fire for a while and say what would it
Speaker 1: give you if he showed up in that way? But
Speaker 1: I'm guessing like you're not experiencing that from him, because
Speaker 1: when he's in the stillness, he's focused on his sandwich
Speaker 1: or he's focused on his game, right, and he's not
Speaker 1: showing up to be a sounding boarder, to be a
Speaker 1: witness to everything that you're doing, or to like fan
Speaker 1: your fire and make you more fired up. I think
Speaker 1: that's what you're asking for. It's like fire me up
Speaker 1: even more, get in here with me, you know.
Speaker 3: Look, at me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we want to be seen and heard and like
Speaker 1: adored for what we're doing, you know, And I've went
Speaker 1: and I've experienced this in workshop with men, So I'll
Speaker 1: go do these crazy intimacy workshops like Sacred Intimacy where
Speaker 1: you know, we'll do this experiment of having a man
Speaker 1: like literally laid down and be like so focused on
Speaker 1: us as women that we would just like you know,
Speaker 1: blow up and all the energy. You know, like we
Speaker 1: could talk about this on a whole nother shote, but
Speaker 1: that showed me the potential for us in partnership now,
Speaker 1: for us to be unleashed by full presence in a man.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't mean like he needs to sit there
Speaker 1: and watch you at your work all day. It's doses
Speaker 1: of full presence and appreciation for you that then you
Speaker 1: could take to maybe other fired up people sure, and
Speaker 1: do your work with.
Speaker 2: I think it's interesting like when we say like we
Speaker 2: just want to be seen, and maybe it's just twenty twenty,
Speaker 2: but I feel like, I mean, obviously there's so many
Speaker 2: relationships that are falling right now, and you know, divorces,
Speaker 2: but it's almost like we're passing each other, you know,
Speaker 2: where it's like it's it's kind of this. I mean,
Speaker 2: I know, I crave to be seen even you know,
Speaker 2: when I put makeup on and like for the first
Speaker 2: time in three months or something, and you know, he'll
Speaker 2: walk right past me and have looked at me, but
Speaker 2: like not said anything. And it's just like that, You're
Speaker 2: just you're gutted, you know, because you're just like, I
Speaker 2: have eyeliner on. What is this?
Speaker 3: But that's the thing to me. You look just as
Speaker 3: beautiful without makeup.
Speaker 2: And so but it's just interesting, like the fire and
Speaker 2: the ground and the like what we like, what we
Speaker 2: need and what you know, what you need versus what
Speaker 2: I need, And you know, it's just it's an interesting
Speaker 2: it's an interesting conversation just because we do have very
Speaker 2: different needs. I think women just want to be seen
Speaker 2: and heard and appreciated and men just want to be
Speaker 2: respected and I know respect. That Love and Respect book
Speaker 2: you read was huge, and it's just feeding those fire
Speaker 2: and ground and I don't know, it's interesting.
Speaker 1: All the elements. Yeah, this is like in the ire
Speaker 1: Veda and the yoga. You know, these great scientists of
Speaker 1: conscience has laid this all out for us a million
Speaker 1: years ago, and I think there's a lot to be
Speaker 1: gained from from seeing it as just that that you
Speaker 1: two are forever changing throughout the day too, which is
Speaker 1: hard for a man who just wants to like be still,
Speaker 1: you know, or be in control, because there's fluidity and
Speaker 1: we dance ultimately. There are times when I've had this
Speaker 1: conversation with like my soul brother who I do this
Speaker 1: work with, Dan Doty of every Man, and I would say,
Speaker 1: women just want to be seen and heard and appreciated,
Speaker 1: and he's like us too, And it was always us too,
Speaker 1: like because we don't get we don't get stuck, and
Speaker 1: if we do, that's when relationship troubles happen. Playing the
Speaker 1: same role all the time, you know, there's going to
Speaker 1: be something I know, Mike, that'll crack for you that
Speaker 1: you're going to be super fired up about and you're
Speaker 1: going to need her appreciation and you're gonna want her
Speaker 1: to see you and all of that, you know, and
Speaker 1: what you're creating. But yeah, it's it's a dance, man.
Speaker 1: And I have had so many people say to me like, oh,
Speaker 1: just figured her out. We just got this new way
Speaker 1: of being and now it's different again. It doesn't work
Speaker 1: any but I just tell me what to do. That
Speaker 1: always works, and it's it's just not relationship.
Speaker 3: No, it's not changing.
Speaker 2: I know. Well, sure, thank you for coming on.
Speaker 3: And just I feel I feel like I have to
Speaker 3: pay you for that, so just invoice. iHeartRadio.
Speaker 1: So I'll just say this one last thing. The more
Speaker 1: you want to give, the more you need. And Janna
Speaker 1: and the last little bit here you talking about the
Speaker 1: needs is really what it all comes down to is
Speaker 1: constantly just being kind enough to ask each other, moment
Speaker 1: by moment, what do you need right now? Babe? What
Speaker 1: do you need for this block of time? What do
Speaker 1: you need? If things feel like they're changing a bunch
Speaker 1: like and and for him to say like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: love you without makeup. I love you with makeup. But
Speaker 1: the what do you need? I need you to adorm
Speaker 1: it no matter what, I need you to stop every
Speaker 1: time I enter the room and go, wow, we want
Speaker 1: all about that.
Speaker 2: Where can our listeners find you and hire you?
Speaker 1: Oh Man on insta at the Luminaries and shreiheely dot
Speaker 1: com on the website which will actually soon be relaunching
Speaker 1: us just the Luminaries dot com.
Speaker 2: Amazing, Well, thank you so much for coming on. We
Speaker 2: so appreciate it, and we'll talk to you again soon
Speaker 2: once we get that fire first.
Speaker 1: To keep it. Let I love talking with you guys.
Speaker 1: Have a great time. Bye.
Speaker 2: Do you want to go make a fire?
Speaker 3: I mean now I feel like I could go in
Speaker 3: the office and just create. It's a Saturday afternoon. I'm like,
Speaker 3: I just want to flip this table in front of me.
Speaker 3: Let's do this.
Speaker 2: What is a weekend? So yeah, Oh my goodness.
Speaker 3: Man, I feel a little I feel like a little
Speaker 3: cleansed though. Yeah, because that was some like real anxiety
Speaker 3: coming up for me. M like stuff that you know.
Speaker 3: It's that's the benefit of just therapy in general. Right,
Speaker 3: you come, you just start having these conversations and you
Speaker 3: just come to the realization of something without even knowing.
Speaker 3: I'm like like, that's why, like, that's why I'm scared
Speaker 3: to schedule things, you know. And that's the thing. It's like,
Speaker 3: no one's fault's not your Fault's not my fault. It's
Speaker 3: just the anxiety I have around it because of how
Speaker 3: I'm programmed. Because I want you you know, every things
Speaker 3: are gonna change. Hey, I know you're doing this, but
Speaker 3: can you give me five minutes, you know what I mean,
Speaker 3: Like a lot of it's how we phrase it or
Speaker 3: how we ask each other. But I don't know, I
Speaker 3: gotta go think about this stuff.
Speaker 2: Well, I think what I took away from sureI is
Speaker 2: that tone deaf or not. You can, you can sing,
Speaker 2: and you can anything is possible, And I think that's
Speaker 2: you know, you just gotta you gotta put in the work.
Speaker 2: You gotta put in the energy, and you got to
Speaker 2: put in the focus in the drive to get that fire. So,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I love you guys. A protective week
Speaker 2: at that