Speaker 1: Tanya Ready, Ready, Baca ready, I'm ready Easton Ready Ready,
Speaker 1: Hanah Ready. Here we go.
Speaker 2: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rad An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in, scrubbing in.
Speaker 3: Can you hear me?
Speaker 4: Yes, I've been having some issues with my sounds, but
Speaker 4: I'm back to normal.
Speaker 3: Good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, happy to hear it. How you doing, I'm doing okay.
Speaker 4: How are you doing?
Speaker 3: I'm doing okay as well.
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Why are we both just okay? Should we get into that?
Speaker 4: I'd like to get into why you're just okay?
Speaker 2: Well, I am just okay because I don't know. I've
Speaker 2: just had I've been having a couple of hard weeks.
Speaker 2: I think that I I mean, I I had a
Speaker 2: hard I have a.
Speaker 3: Hard time when Haley's gone.
Speaker 2: But I think that there's deeper rooted stuff that I'm
Speaker 2: like navigating, and her being.
Speaker 3: Gone just like.
Speaker 2: Exacerbates it makes it. I don't think exactly is.
Speaker 3: That right to create?
Speaker 2: Thank you?
Speaker 5: Thank you?
Speaker 2: It magnifies that those feelings of like what I'm navigating,
Speaker 2: and it's like deeper stuff that I'm like navigating with
Speaker 2: my therapist. But I think the main part is that
Speaker 2: there's a part of me and I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 2: you guys can help me if y'all have experienced this,
Speaker 2: since you're both married and in long term relationships. I
Speaker 2: feel like there's a part of me that started that.
Speaker 2: My whole life, I have been so independent, like I
Speaker 2: have been so okay on my own. I loved being
Speaker 2: home alone. I longed for a long distance relationship because
Speaker 2: I liked my space.
Speaker 4: Right, that was the most shocking of everything.
Speaker 2: Right, So I think somewhere along the way being a
Speaker 2: relationship and falling in love for the first time, I
Speaker 2: feel like I've lost a little bit of like myself
Speaker 2: and my independence and like and so then when Haley's here,
Speaker 2: it's great because I have that comfort of my person
Speaker 2: being here. But when she leaves what she with her
Speaker 2: job that's common, I feel very almost.
Speaker 3: Like what do I do without her? Or like what
Speaker 3: do I do with my time?
Speaker 2: Or like what do I you know, Like I almost
Speaker 2: am like, wait, what do I love to do by myself?
Speaker 2: And like why why did I lose that sense of
Speaker 2: like independence? And as it's nothing that she did or
Speaker 2: anything to do with her, it's more like me, like
Speaker 2: where or why did that happen. So I was curious,
Speaker 2: as y'all have, if you ever felt that feeling of
Speaker 2: like dependence or codependency or what or no.
Speaker 1: Yes, I have, And I do fight that, and I
Speaker 1: do find that when my wife is out of town
Speaker 1: with the kids, so I'm home alone, and that's happened
Speaker 1: more lately because of dance and colleges and all kinds
Speaker 1: of crazy stuff. So when I'm home alone for a weekend,
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm house sitting. Like I don't feel
Speaker 1: like I'm in my own home. I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: I'm just you know, I got to keep things in order,
Speaker 1: keep things clean. I'm like, oh, there's nobody here and
Speaker 1: it's just me, and it feels like I'm in somebody
Speaker 1: else's house. Yeah, And when they're there, it feels like home,
Speaker 1: you know, And so they're gone and so it feels weird.
Speaker 1: But I do fight that, and I do get into
Speaker 1: the stuff that I enjoy, uh huh, like watching baseball
Speaker 1: or you know, I go on long hikes and stuff like.
Speaker 3: That, like things that you want to do when they're
Speaker 3: normally there.
Speaker 4: But I think becca yours is unique in the fact that, like, yes,
Speaker 4: people leave for like a few days or a week, right,
Speaker 4: it's not You're not having to fill months of your time, right, yeah,
Speaker 4: weeks and weeks, you know, Like I think in normal relationship,
Speaker 4: well I would say normal in typical relationships, somebody leaves
Speaker 4: for maybe a few days, even a.
Speaker 3: Week, even a week.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you're what you're going through I think is
Speaker 4: unique to you because of the circumstance.
Speaker 2: It's a very unique situation. But yeah, do you have
Speaker 2: do you feel that when you're not with Alison?
Speaker 5: Like I am without Alison very infrequently. She comes with
Speaker 5: me on work trips.
Speaker 3: It's true.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's great. Yeah, and I love it so, but
Speaker 5: I also I like being alone and I get and
Speaker 5: I get a lot of that time.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Still, you know, like so, I don't know, I'm just
Speaker 5: thinking in your situation, it seems like you just swung
Speaker 5: the other the pendulum just went the other way, right.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 5: Is it like a defense mechanism thing, like you're you know,
Speaker 5: now that you have this thing, you're afraid of losing it,
Speaker 5: even though you were fine without it before.
Speaker 3: That's what That's what.
Speaker 2: That's also what I've been thinking about, is like so
Speaker 2: before we before I met Hayley, and then when we met,
Speaker 2: she was on tour, so like that was all we
Speaker 2: knew for a little bit. And then I feel like
Speaker 2: with the pandemic and like all these things happening in between,
Speaker 2: like the time we met and now there was time
Speaker 2: where we were like always together and we got used
Speaker 2: to being together. And then I also think there is
Speaker 2: something to the fear of like, Okay, I see my future,
Speaker 2: Like I officially feel like I'm I finally let myself
Speaker 2: feel like Okay, I see my future with this person,
Speaker 2: and the fear of losing that almost feels heavier.
Speaker 3: So it feels like, oh, I need to like protect myself,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: But anyways, it feels like there's a sense of like
Speaker 2: independence lost and like me needing to find because obviously
Speaker 2: I'm gonna miss her. Like I don't think that there's
Speaker 2: anything I could do. I don't think there's any growth
Speaker 2: or self help I could do that would eliminate the
Speaker 2: feeling of missing her while she's gone. But I do
Speaker 2: think there's a sense of being able to find and
Speaker 2: do those things that I loved doing alone, like why
Speaker 2: with my friends.
Speaker 1: Because now it seems like whatever you come up with
Speaker 1: doing you're like, oh, I'd rather do that.
Speaker 3: Right, No, that's the thing. But like, I but is
Speaker 3: that what it's supposed to be.
Speaker 4: Like but not necessarily like don't you like you like
Speaker 4: to like binge TV shows?
Speaker 3: Not really? I kind of amount of that phase in
Speaker 3: my life.
Speaker 2: Oh really, Yeah, I get bored, but you know I
Speaker 2: have a thing for like weekly airing shows.
Speaker 3: You know, I prefer that anyways.
Speaker 2: Even that I'm like, I'd rather be doing it with Haley,
Speaker 2: Like I think I.
Speaker 4: Like you like sitting home and enjoying TV.
Speaker 3: No, I'm out of that really.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think that I blame TikTok for that
Speaker 2: because I think that I'm more short term entertainment on
Speaker 2: TikTok is just gone.
Speaker 3: It's gone forever.
Speaker 2: Well not forever, but as long as I have TikTok,
Speaker 2: it's gonna be preferred to like sticking around for like
Speaker 2: a love island. But my whole point is that I
Speaker 2: feel like it's such a conflicting thing to open your
Speaker 2: heart to love and give yourself to a relationship and
Speaker 2: be so content with someone and then also be able
Speaker 2: to have that independence of being like I know, like
Speaker 2: in my head, I know I'm okay, I was okay
Speaker 2: before I met Haley. I can be okay while she's
Speaker 2: gone and miss her and support her and also take
Speaker 2: care of myself. But instead I'm like crippled with anxiety
Speaker 2: and like am not sleeping and mentally unwell.
Speaker 4: But it's not I don't think you fear you're gonna
Speaker 4: lose her. I just you just miss her.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, but I think subconscious there's something in
Speaker 2: my head that's like you could lose her, which you could.
Speaker 2: I mean you could lose everyone, yeah, right, but I
Speaker 2: think there's been loss in other areas in my life
Speaker 2: where I feel like it's like I didn't think I
Speaker 2: would lose certain things from people, So in my mind
Speaker 2: I feel like, well, she could do the same to me.
Speaker 3: So I almost am like on this like defensive.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I go to on that dark path too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean how do you feel?
Speaker 2: I mean, do you feel like if if Robbie went
Speaker 2: out of town for like months at a time, that
Speaker 2: you would feel like yourself?
Speaker 4: I would hate it. I don't. I prefer him being everywhere.
Speaker 4: I really do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, it's so frustrating, it's not.
Speaker 4: But I would not like break up with him because
Speaker 4: he needed to. Like what I'm saying, I would.
Speaker 2: Not like this is not really even about Hailey. This
Speaker 2: is more about me, like self introspection, being like.
Speaker 3: Becca, what do you love? What do you want to do?
Speaker 2: What do you want to accomplish? Like what do you
Speaker 2: want to do without needing Haley to be there with you?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 2: You know because in my mind, I'm like, oh, like
Speaker 2: go travel places, and I'm like, but I don't want
Speaker 2: to travel somewhere that I've never been without her.
Speaker 4: It is interesting because I think the only time I
Speaker 4: experienced this was a week Robbie took the Robbie went
Speaker 4: skiing with the kids, and I stayed home. I can't
Speaker 4: remember why exactly I stayed.
Speaker 3: Back, but you were working on your book.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I chose not to go on the trip.
Speaker 4: And that was the longest I haven't been with him
Speaker 4: in a while. And I just filled my time like
Speaker 4: I filled that time like it was wake up, work out,
Speaker 4: come home, shower, Uh, do book stuff, do more book stuff,
Speaker 4: do more book stuff, clean the house, organized closets, Like
Speaker 4: there's all these things I feel like that I always
Speaker 4: I have on my to do list, and I just
Speaker 4: started doing them. Yeah, that's kind of what I did
Speaker 4: for that week. I just so I should write a book. Well,
Speaker 4: not necessarily that, but like, if there's something you want
Speaker 4: to do around your house, organize lause it, or if
Speaker 4: there's something you want to do in your backyard, or
Speaker 4: if there's something like anything, get to the to do list. Now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good advice, But I also.
Speaker 4: Don't think what I did was necessarily healthy. I like
Speaker 4: filled every every hour of my day with stuff.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, my ideal situation would be to have
Speaker 2: most of it filled, but then be at a place
Speaker 2: where I'm okay, at home alone with my thoughts. That
Speaker 2: hasn't been the safe space for me lately, so I
Speaker 2: would like to get back to that because I was
Speaker 2: so comfortable alone.
Speaker 3: I was too comfortable alone.
Speaker 4: But I feel like you can't reverse it.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying. You can't. Once you experience that,
Speaker 2: you can't. So to those who haven't fallen in love yet,
Speaker 2: I don't enjoy yet.
Speaker 1: Well, what works for me is a routine, and that
Speaker 1: works for me every day. You know, I'm a creature
Speaker 1: of routine. Yeah, when my family's gone for the weekend,
Speaker 1: I have every minute of every day planned.
Speaker 4: Out right, but I do the same not alone with
Speaker 4: my healthy either.
Speaker 2: Okay, well maybe, but that's another thing is that with
Speaker 2: my job, my job is not like a routine type job,
Speaker 2: like my days are always different.
Speaker 3: I get to choose a lot like how I spend
Speaker 3: my time.
Speaker 2: And I think, even though my job is amazing and
Speaker 2: I'm so grateful for the freedom to do whatever i want,
Speaker 2: sometimes it's almost like overwhelming to me because I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't have something distracting.
Speaker 3: Me at all time.
Speaker 2: Times of like, yeah, it's a distractions.
Speaker 3: I don't think that's a negative thing, be distracted.
Speaker 4: You know what, Well, clearly I don't either. Could I
Speaker 4: do it, but I do think there's a part of
Speaker 4: it that's not healthy. Maybe you could do all your
Speaker 4: doctor's appointments.
Speaker 3: I did do my checkup because there's I do need
Speaker 3: to do a dentist's siest, your.
Speaker 4: Regular doctor to get your blood work.
Speaker 3: To do all that. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Actually, I was looking into maybe getting my blood work
Speaker 2: checked out because I can't. Maybe there's like a hormonal
Speaker 2: balance happening without me noticing that.
Speaker 1: Is I think that is good advice, just to get
Speaker 1: stuff downe that you need to get an oil change.
Speaker 1: You know, there's just stuff that you.
Speaker 4: Got to do, and all the stuff that you put
Speaker 4: in the back burner of like your to do list,
Speaker 4: because they're not like, yeah, what's the word I'm looking for? Timely? Yeah, sure,
Speaker 4: time sensitive? Just get those done, all right?
Speaker 2: So I'll do those next week. What about the next
Speaker 2: three weeks?
Speaker 5: Is there anything you like to do that Hayley doesn't No, because,
Speaker 5: like I just realized, I've never been in my home
Speaker 5: that I live in now we live there for almost
Speaker 5: six years. I've never been there alone. Wow, Like Allison's
Speaker 5: been with Every single night I've spent that house has
Speaker 5: been with Allison. She hasn't been out of town with Like,
Speaker 5: she hasn't gone somewhere overnight without me in years. I
Speaker 5: go out of time for work all the time. But
Speaker 5: when she's gone, I eat garbage, Baby, I just eat
Speaker 5: straight up garbage. And that's what I look forward to.
Speaker 5: And she knows about this. I look forward to it.
Speaker 5: Like if she's having like dinner with a friend, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 5: rand table pizza, here we go. That's literally the only
Speaker 5: thing that is the only thing, yeah, that I look
Speaker 5: forward to doing. You can't do You can't just eat
Speaker 5: garbage all the time.
Speaker 1: I don't know what I.
Speaker 2: Would I do eat garbage all the time?
Speaker 4: You want what you want to start learning how to cook?
Speaker 4: You could start cooking more.
Speaker 2: Y Yeah, hmm, yeah, there's there's a lot of things.
Speaker 2: Oh So my therapist told me, she was like, I
Speaker 2: want you to write down a list of a hundred
Speaker 2: things you want.
Speaker 3: And my mind felt like overwhelmed.
Speaker 2: But I've been thinking about it and she's like, it
Speaker 2: can be any like, it can be even if it
Speaker 2: feels unatateed like crazy, I want to mansion with a
Speaker 2: big yard.
Speaker 3: Like she's like, just write it down.
Speaker 1: Well, do mansion one big yard too, because you've got
Speaker 1: a hundred to fill out, separate.
Speaker 2: Fresh grab But I think, like the more I'm like
Speaker 2: realizing those things where I think, like, oh, what do
Speaker 2: I want? Because at first I felt I was like
Speaker 2: a hundred things that I want, But I think I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be able to do it.
Speaker 4: And also a thing too. You can create structure in
Speaker 4: your day depending on all these things that you want
Speaker 4: to get done. So let's say you have doctor's appointments.
Speaker 4: Let's write down all the doctors appointments and let's start
Speaker 4: sprinkling those in, right, then you can create your day
Speaker 4: around each of those. Cooking you want to start cooking,
Speaker 4: let's find recipes and start plotting out your weeks with
Speaker 4: what you're gonna do. You have to grocery shop, so
Speaker 4: that also takes time mm hmm. Then perhaps you want
Speaker 4: to start working out a little bit more. You can
Speaker 4: plan your workouts according to like that structure of your
Speaker 4: doctor's appointments and your meal preps.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so just just getting some things on a schedule.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do think schedule a schedule would do you well?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, do me right.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that's a little bit about me and uh
Speaker 2: why I've just been okay, I think that there's a
Speaker 2: little element of like wanting to get my mojo back.
Speaker 4: I get it, you know, I understand what you're saying
Speaker 4: because I also too, I find myself getting in that place.
Speaker 3: Of complacency, not.
Speaker 4: Complacency, dependency, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, dependency. And
Speaker 4: it's like because I feel the same way I love
Speaker 4: I love Robbie being everywhere like I love him doing
Speaker 4: everything with me, And there is there's that little like
Speaker 4: thing in the back of the ear of my head
Speaker 4: that's like fearful of that for some reason, like why,
Speaker 4: like why can't I just do I can do stuff
Speaker 4: alone And it doesn't mean like I can, but I
Speaker 4: don't want to. Yes, And I find myself getting freaked
Speaker 4: out about that too. But I'm not dependent on him,
Speaker 4: but there is some sort of something there.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: I don't necessarily, I do feel like I've become more
Speaker 2: dependent on Hailey than I ever thought I would be
Speaker 2: in a relationship. But I think it's more that there's
Speaker 2: other stuff going on and coming up for me that
Speaker 2: I'm navigating outside of my relationship with Haley, and she's
Speaker 2: my comfort person, so she's not here to just sit
Speaker 2: with me on the couch even if we're not doing
Speaker 2: anything important, you know. So I think it's a little
Speaker 2: bit of that as well. But it's fine, We're gonna
Speaker 2: we'll be fine. I'll be fine. I just am like,
Speaker 2: I don't want this month to be Like, do you have.
Speaker 5: Plans to go see her on tour? You're like, yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Think i'll probably.
Speaker 2: I mean, we try not to go longer than two
Speaker 2: weeks without seeing each other. So I think the Denver
Speaker 2: show where my little sister lives in Denver, so I
Speaker 2: was gonna try to go that one. I think that's
Speaker 2: like right at two weeks from when she leaves, so
Speaker 2: that'll be good, and then.
Speaker 3: Maybe like another one.
Speaker 5: That's okay, it's good to have something to look forward to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: So anyways, teas and peas, not some prayers.
Speaker 3: And or you telling me to take a break. I
Speaker 3: know what that man.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll be right back with my Tanya's just okay,
Speaker 2: all right, Well, we spent the whole first half of
Speaker 2: the episode talking about my mental health issues.
Speaker 3: So what's going on with you?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I had some mental health issues myself this week.
Speaker 4: I'd like to preface it by saying that I am
Speaker 4: my liutial end of my liudial phase pre menstrual phase,
Speaker 4: so that I'm really low energy, like I could I
Speaker 4: could literally fall asleep right now, okay, and I'm emotional,
Speaker 4: like really emotional.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 4: So last week there was this thread in the Facebook
Speaker 4: group that was like going on and on and on
Speaker 4: about the premise of it was wanting to hear more
Speaker 4: from Becca. But as I continue to read through the thread,
Speaker 4: there was all this like really triggering words about me
Speaker 4: and how my personality is too much and I'm too
Speaker 4: overbearing and I'm to this and that like takes me
Speaker 4: back to the days of my work. I don't maybe
Speaker 4: you should believe his name.
Speaker 6: We can believe his name just because you know, yeah,
Speaker 6: but this triggering feeling of when I started out in
Speaker 6: my career of this important person at the company who
Speaker 6: would say these things about me and my personality.
Speaker 4: And it was like really really damaging to me when
Speaker 4: I started, because it was just so hurtful, you know,
Speaker 4: because it's like about you and it's about me, and
Speaker 4: so it really kind of like brought me back to
Speaker 4: that place and I went so dark. Whatever day, I
Speaker 4: can't remember what day it was that I was reading
Speaker 4: it all, and I was like, I don't want to
Speaker 4: do the podcast on Monday. I like, just because I
Speaker 4: don't really care about internet trolls, but like this Facebook
Speaker 4: group is like those are my people, you know what
Speaker 4: I mean? Like that, so that I think that's why
Speaker 4: I took it so hard anyway, So I was like,
Speaker 4: I text me back. I was like, I don't do
Speaker 4: the podcast on Monday, and like all this stuff, and
Speaker 4: like Robbie sat down and gave me this speech and
Speaker 4: it was like so sweet, and he was like he
Speaker 4: could use like a Kobe Bryant analogy, not familiar with
Speaker 4: like his work, but the analogy made sense because he
Speaker 4: was like he was like trying to explain to me
Speaker 4: the overarching theme of it, which was wanting Becka to
Speaker 4: share more and open up more. And he was like
Speaker 4: Kobe Bryant and used to get a lot of heat
Speaker 4: in his day because the people would criticize him that
Speaker 4: he was always shooting the ball, like he was always
Speaker 4: shooting the ball and he wasn't passing. Are you familiar
Speaker 4: with this?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 4: And so because he was getting so much heat for it,
Speaker 4: he did not shoot any balls for like a long
Speaker 4: period of time. He would just pass past, constantly passed
Speaker 4: to his teammates. And he was doing this interview, which
Speaker 4: I guess is what Robbie was talking about, and he
Speaker 4: says he regrets so much that portion of his career
Speaker 4: that he listened to what other people thought and just
Speaker 4: passed the ball and he didn't do what was instinctually
Speaker 4: like right for him or whatever. And he was saying
Speaker 4: how he really regretted that, and he was like, don't
Speaker 4: he's like show up, do the podcast, like don't do
Speaker 4: don't be different, don't dim anything, just be you. And
Speaker 4: it made me so it was like such a sweet
Speaker 4: analogy because like, hey, I don't it really like actually
Speaker 4: resonated with me. I never thought i'd resonate with like
Speaker 4: a sports analogy. You are your sports, yeah, sortinly, yeah,
Speaker 4: but more hockey than anything.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, basketball for me.
Speaker 4: Yeah it was for a minute, but girls basketball, right right,
Speaker 4: But yeah, I don't know. So it was like that
Speaker 4: pep talk, and I guess that's what I can relate
Speaker 4: Twitter saying that Hayley is like your comfort because I
Speaker 4: really was like really really sad that day, Like I
Speaker 4: was having like an emotional rollercoaster, and at the end
Speaker 4: of the day, he like gives me this pep talk
Speaker 4: and like it didn't necessarily make me, you know, I
Speaker 4: wasn't like yeah, but it really did make me, like
Speaker 4: comforted me in such a way. And I was like,
Speaker 4: he's right, I just need to like take the note
Speaker 4: and just like move forward and keep doing keep doing me.
Speaker 4: So anyways, that was that, and then I just kind
Speaker 4: of chilled, like I kind of just wanted to just
Speaker 4: like chill and I was like not, Yeah, I was
Speaker 4: just kind of bummed over the weekend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that sometimes, like especially before I shared
Speaker 2: my relationship. Well, first of all, I'm sorry that you
Speaker 2: had to read those things, because like, regardless.
Speaker 3: Of who you are or what.
Speaker 2: Where it's coming from, words hurt, especially when it's from
Speaker 2: such a special place. Like I said, it's not like
Speaker 2: these are like random internet trolls.
Speaker 4: But I do understand because I feel like there was
Speaker 4: a point where and I don't remember when, but I
Speaker 4: remember when you first started, when you were dating Haley,
Speaker 4: and you were really kind of coming into a shell
Speaker 4: and you didn't want to share anything, and I remember
Speaker 4: I tried to overcompensate, so I was just like blabbing,
Speaker 4: like I was just like because I was trying to
Speaker 4: like I knew what you were going through, yes, And
Speaker 4: so I think I just stuck in that mentality of
Speaker 4: just like blah blah, you know what I mean, And
Speaker 4: I did. I did notice it a while ago. I
Speaker 4: was like, I do need to like chill a little bit.
Speaker 4: I get overexcited, and like, I do get it. So
Speaker 4: I did get that point a while ago.
Speaker 2: But this was just like I think, also, our personalities
Speaker 2: are very different in the sense that I am an
Speaker 2: overthinker with everything I share. So when I'm telling a story,
Speaker 2: if I feel like there's no interest or like there's
Speaker 2: not really any follow up, I just will stop talking,
Speaker 2: like I don't even think about twice about it.
Speaker 4: And that's and I think I know too much, and
Speaker 4: so I get debilitated because I don't want to like,
Speaker 4: I know what you're saying, but I know the listeners
Speaker 4: don't know what you're saying. So then I don't want
Speaker 4: to ask it because I don't want to put you
Speaker 4: in that position because I feel like you're not sharing
Speaker 4: it for a reason.
Speaker 2: And then sometimes, you know, sometimes there's conversations where I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I want to talk about this, and if there's no
Speaker 2: interest from it, it is, you know, the conversation kind
Speaker 2: of dies. But I also think there's a personality just
Speaker 2: like we're opposites.
Speaker 3: And there was a long time where I didn't share
Speaker 3: a lot.
Speaker 2: There was a lot of that I didn't feel safe
Speaker 2: or like I wasn't ready to share. So I think
Speaker 2: you did have to take the lead on a lot
Speaker 2: of the conversations because I wasn't talking, you know, So
Speaker 2: I think I I I know where I can also
Speaker 2: speak up more and stand up and even if like
Speaker 2: it comes down to me having a conversation something that
Speaker 2: I do want to talk about further than what I say,
Speaker 2: be able to be like wait, wait, wait, I want
Speaker 2: to go back to that you know yeah, and just
Speaker 2: be able to speak up more because sometimes, I mean,
Speaker 2: I come from a big family.
Speaker 3: I was always kind of the more quiet, reserved one.
Speaker 2: I've always been that way, so I think sometimes it's
Speaker 2: natural for me to just like go inward and you
Speaker 2: know yeah, And I think that you're able to pick
Speaker 2: up the slack a lot of the times when I'm
Speaker 2: in that position. So listen, you're amazing. The reason why
Speaker 2: our podcast is amazing is because of our dynamic. And
Speaker 2: I don't ever want you to feel shut down because
Speaker 2: there's a hard time or no, I'm way too fragile
Speaker 2: for it too.
Speaker 4: I too, I'm so preperiod it's like coming any second now.
Speaker 3: But it's true.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think what we have is so special
Speaker 2: and I think that if it's a place where we
Speaker 2: find more of a balance and that that also comes
Speaker 2: for me too. So I never want you to feel
Speaker 2: shut down or feel like you're too much because people
Speaker 2: love you for your personality and your excitement and your passion.
Speaker 2: So don't ever like feel like you have to dim
Speaker 2: who you are, shut down or you, or like I
Speaker 2: don't want to do the podcast because this podcast is
Speaker 2: what it is because of you.
Speaker 3: It wasn't like I don't want to do it today.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 3: I probably wouldn't have.
Speaker 2: I probably would have been like I'm out week three. Ye.
Speaker 2: So but I think it's important we address it because
Speaker 2: I think, you know, sometimes I do think sometimes, And
Speaker 2: I didn't read a lot of the comments because I
Speaker 2: got I honestly felt upset for you and knew that
Speaker 2: it was hard for you. But I think the original
Speaker 2: post I didn't feel like it was like hateful or anything.
Speaker 2: I think it was more just like, hey, we want
Speaker 2: to Becca, you know from Becca. But that's also on
Speaker 2: me again, So I'll start talking more and if y'all
Speaker 2: don't like my stories, then you can tell tell me
Speaker 2: on the.
Speaker 4: Facebook group.
Speaker 2: Did you that the day that this happened, I actually
Speaker 2: posted this meme It's like a double toilet, and I
Speaker 2: tagged you and Robbie and said, like, this feels like
Speaker 2: Tanya's dream or something.
Speaker 3: I have the idea for Tanya and Robbie.
Speaker 4: I would love this, not because of the pooping stuff,
Speaker 4: but like just in general, I feel like having two
Speaker 4: toilets is so beneficial, Like we only have two toilets
Speaker 4: in the whole house, and there's four of us, and
Speaker 4: sometimes we come home, like we all have to go
Speaker 4: to the bathroom, but.
Speaker 1: You don't want to connected toilets like to fine, have
Speaker 1: separate toilets the.
Speaker 2: Way that those are a positioned to so fuck, like
Speaker 2: you're just doing your own thing.
Speaker 4: I would use this, I would, I would use this.
Speaker 4: I'd buy this tomorrow.
Speaker 3: No, because I don't.
Speaker 4: This is your yearine smell after which is how often
Speaker 4: I mean.
Speaker 2: Well, then we did discuss Robbie can't smell, so he's yeah.
Speaker 4: It's really such a blessing from the Lord.
Speaker 3: I didn't talk.
Speaker 2: About this, and this was a big thing that happened
Speaker 2: while I was gone. But this is mostly a story
Speaker 2: for Mark just to get his reaction. So I rented
Speaker 2: a car while I was in I was like in
Speaker 2: Dallas and then Shreveport, Louisiana, which is my hometown, and
Speaker 2: I was on my way home to Dallas and not home.
Speaker 2: I was on my way back to Dallas and I
Speaker 2: was staying with a friend and I had to return
Speaker 2: my rental car to the airport and then uber to
Speaker 2: my friend's house. It was just like I did a
Speaker 2: lot to do and I I was on the phone
Speaker 2: with Haley and we were having kind of like a
Speaker 2: serious conversation, and she was in Europe, so like the
Speaker 2: time difference.
Speaker 3: It was like, I if I pull.
Speaker 2: Over and get gas when my gas like came on,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to hang up. And we're kind of
Speaker 2: like in this serious conversation and I'm like, I know
Speaker 2: how long I have and I'll wait till I see
Speaker 2: like a safe gas station exit. You know. Well, I'm
Speaker 2: I swear this happened faster than my car goes.
Speaker 3: Because it's incredible.
Speaker 2: So my car starts to just shut down and I'm
Speaker 2: like oh no, no, no, no, no, no no, And
Speaker 2: Haley's like what And I'm like I'm running out of
Speaker 2: gas and she's like, well, just like pull over, wait
Speaker 2: till you get to nextit, like get in the right
Speaker 2: lane and just pull off when you see an nextit.
Speaker 2: I'm like no, Like, my the car is stopping and
Speaker 2: she's like, are you kidding?
Speaker 3: She's like where are you.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I'm on the Interstate and she's like, well,
Speaker 2: what are you gonna do? So I like veered off
Speaker 2: and there was like there was this weird road in
Speaker 2: between the interstate and then the service road and it
Speaker 2: just happened to be right where I needed it to be,
Speaker 2: and so I pull off and so I'm not in
Speaker 2: like the crazy busy part, but I'm for sure out
Speaker 2: of gas. Like the car just stops and so I'm like, Haley,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to I'll talk to you tomorrow go
Speaker 2: to sleep. And she's like I'm not what are you
Speaker 2: gonna do? And I'm like She goes call Triple A
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I don't have Triple A. So at
Speaker 2: that time, my friend Laura, who's been my best friend
Speaker 2: since high school. She lives in Louisiana, in my hometown.
Speaker 2: She texted me and asked how my sister's baby shower
Speaker 2: was and I was like it was great. Do you
Speaker 2: have Triple A. She's like why, and I go, well,
Speaker 2: I might have run out of gas.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she goes where are you.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I'm in the middle of nowhere,
Speaker 2: Texas And she goes, I'm in Tyler, Texas. Will you
Speaker 2: send me your location and let me see how far
Speaker 2: you are from me? So I send her my location.
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm thirty minutes for me. I'm coming to
Speaker 2: get you. Wow, And that is crazy. What are the chances?
Speaker 2: She was there for her nephew's soccer tournament. And so
Speaker 2: I'm just like sitting in my car waiting for her
Speaker 2: to show up. She comes, I get in the car
Speaker 2: with her and we're like lat you know. She like, no,
Speaker 2: She's known me for a long time, Like this is
Speaker 2: very own brand for me. And we go and we
Speaker 2: get by like a five gallon gas can, fill it
Speaker 2: up and I go to put it in the car
Speaker 2: and it's spilling everywhere, Like I have gas on my arm,
Speaker 2: my leg.
Speaker 3: I'm like, flammable and.
Speaker 4: Flammable is that the word flammable?
Speaker 3: Flammable, isn't it?
Speaker 4: Flammable is correct? So flammable on it today? You really are.
Speaker 1: A few minutes ago you said exacerbated, but since then
Speaker 1: you said debilitated, which is also strong.
Speaker 2: So I can't get the gas into the car and
Speaker 2: Laura can't. I'm reading the instructions on the gas and
Speaker 2: we're doing everything. It says, and I can't get it
Speaker 2: to go. So I'm just like spilling gas everywhere. I'm
Speaker 2: panicked it it's pitch black now, and I happen to
Speaker 2: be parked right outside of a neighborhood.
Speaker 3: So I'm like, I see a house. We should go
Speaker 3: knock on their door. We need to, we need to.
Speaker 1: Like the gas isn't getting in.
Speaker 2: The table won't go, It's just spilling out everywhere, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, we can't run out, like I need this
Speaker 2: gas because I just got to get into the car,
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna find a good old Texas countryman in
Speaker 2: one of those neighborhoods.
Speaker 1: You know, everyone is going to the wrong house is
Speaker 1: getting shot.
Speaker 3: Well this happened after my this decision.
Speaker 2: So we go up and these like spotlights come on
Speaker 2: in the house and I'm like, Laura, I don't think
Speaker 2: we should do this one, and she's like, yeah, it's fine,
Speaker 2: it's fine. So we walk up and she's like I
Speaker 2: think I see someone, and she's like, I don't know
Speaker 2: why they're not coming to the door. And then this
Speaker 2: like big dog starts barking, so I'm like, we gotta go,
Speaker 2: we gotta go. So we walk out and we're walking.
Speaker 2: These houses are space like, this is not la like.
Speaker 2: These houses have a lot of acreage. So we're walking
Speaker 2: to the next one.
Speaker 3: Knock. No one answers.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I genuinely don't know what we're gonna do
Speaker 2: at this point. So we're walking down this pitch black road.
Speaker 4: I'm guessing Laura did not does not have trouble a you.
Speaker 5: Know, did you?
Speaker 4: Guys ever circle back to the original question.
Speaker 2: That didn't get circled back to. Yeah, No, I didn't
Speaker 2: go back to that thought.
Speaker 1: I could have circled back to where you bought the
Speaker 1: gas tank maybe and said, hey, how come this isn't working?
Speaker 1: What do I need to do? Because they could probably
Speaker 1: sell you a spout or something that would get the job.
Speaker 2: Oh, that also could have been something. The guy that
Speaker 2: was helping is at the gas station though, could not
Speaker 2: even get the thing open like the gas cank go.
Speaker 2: So I didn't feel trust like he didn't come across
Speaker 2: trustworthy to me. So all of a sudden, we see
Speaker 2: lights coming up, like headlights coming up the road, and
Speaker 2: I'm like turning, I'm like waving them down.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: This guy falls over and he has his daughter in
Speaker 3: the car.
Speaker 2: So I was like, Okay, I feel safe, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry I ran out of gas. I'm like,
Speaker 2: right at the end of the road, we got a
Speaker 2: gas can, but we can't get the gas into the car.
Speaker 2: So he's like, okay, I'll come back down and help y'all.
Speaker 2: So we like walk back down. He goes to put
Speaker 2: it in. It's spilling everywhere. So I'm like, hey, Gray,
Speaker 2: I'm not.
Speaker 4: An adot gas can.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or we're both dumb, but I wasn't the only
Speaker 2: one dumb in this situation.
Speaker 3: So he's like, I have another gas can. Let me go.
Speaker 2: Just follow me up and then I'll just pour this
Speaker 2: one into that and we'll come back down. So he
Speaker 2: ends up going by himself, and he comes back down
Speaker 2: and brings his wife and she was like, well he
Speaker 2: didn't and she like hugs us, and she's like, he
Speaker 2: wanted me to come. He didn't want you all to
Speaker 2: think he was creepy. And I'm like, where are the
Speaker 2: ones waiting? Yeah, And so he brought another gas can
Speaker 2: and was able to like fill it up, and then
Speaker 2: his daughters come down there having like a sleepover, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, girls like this is what you don't do.
Speaker 3: Don't do this, and he saved the day.
Speaker 1: It's the way he had a gas take and that
Speaker 1: works fine.
Speaker 2: He had another he had like one with a spouse,
Speaker 2: so he was able to like get it whatever. I
Speaker 2: had a jeep, come yeah, get it in and uh yeah.
Speaker 5: So he was just a gas can with like just
Speaker 5: a cap on it.
Speaker 2: It didn't have the had a spout, but the way
Speaker 2: it worked it didn't go deep. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so.
Speaker 4: Gas stations they have like a long spell.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, it's long.
Speaker 4: It is long and goes deep. It is long. It's
Speaker 4: like probably like over a foot two feet.
Speaker 3: I don't think it's two feet.
Speaker 2: But whatever they're putting the new like way that they're
Speaker 2: doing gas Kansas, isn't it. So that was my story,
Speaker 2: and that means I've run out of gas like twice
Speaker 2: in the past six months, right.
Speaker 1: Which I think should be caused for a certain amount
Speaker 1: of introspection. But you're just like, that's me. That's what happens.
Speaker 2: I have a lot of introspection navigating right now. Mark,
Speaker 2: So because that's crazy to me.
Speaker 4: When that light comes on, like I don't even let
Speaker 4: my car light go on.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: I usually feel it before the light goes on, because
Speaker 4: when your light goes on, it means it's time to
Speaker 4: get gassed.
Speaker 3: So i'd rather you even let the light come on.
Speaker 4: I usually do a quarter of a tank. When I'm
Speaker 4: at quarter, I fill her back up.
Speaker 1: I have dashes on mine, and I got three dashes.
Speaker 1: I'm getting that filled up, three dashes.
Speaker 5: I let the light come on. When light comes on,
Speaker 5: it's it's let the good times. But I go to
Speaker 5: the gas station. I've run, I guess once in my
Speaker 5: entire life, and it sucked.
Speaker 1: I hated it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well no I'm not.
Speaker 2: I'm not having fun when everyone now like, I'm not,
Speaker 2: like this is great.
Speaker 3: It's just I thought I had longer and I didn't.
Speaker 1: And none of the one in the family's like, hey
Speaker 1: aren't you Becca Tilly from TV's The Bachelor and the
Speaker 1: popular podcast and People Choice Aword winning shows scrubbing in.
Speaker 2: No, they didn't say that. No, it'd be nice the podcast.
Speaker 1: What I respect what that guy did with bringing his wife,
Speaker 1: because that's the thing we By the way, I'm not
Speaker 1: saying we poor dudes, because I'm not saying that, but
Speaker 1: that's a real issue that we needed to come off
Speaker 1: as not creepy. And we want to be helpful and
Speaker 1: we want to support people, and we want to be
Speaker 1: nice to strangers. But it's it's weird because it can
Speaker 1: come off as creepy and you gotta be careful about that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I admired this guy for yes, but mostly because if
Speaker 5: I if I were in his shoes, if I saw it,
Speaker 5: if I pulled over and I saw you, You're like,
Speaker 5: I ran into gas I can't get I have a
Speaker 5: gas can, but I can't get in. I'm like, there's
Speaker 5: a guy with a gun waiting for that objective idea.
Speaker 5: It's like, oh good luck, sweetheart.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I wouldn't.
Speaker 5: Have done it.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have done it for myself, So yeah, I
Speaker 2: wouldn't have done it either.
Speaker 1: I went to take a pick up my youngest at
Speaker 1: the elementary school. She was older. She was going back
Speaker 1: to tutor and there's a little boy on the corner
Speaker 1: outside the school and school's been over for a while now,
Speaker 1: and he looks stressed out. He has tears in his eyes,
Speaker 1: he looks a little panicky. But I cannot pull over
Speaker 1: and start talking to that kid, because now I'm making
Speaker 1: the situation worse. You know what I'm saying, I can't
Speaker 1: be Hey, buddy's everything, okay, I can't do that. You could,
Speaker 1: I can't. He's like an eight year old boy and
Speaker 1: now now a guy, a strange man is pulling up
Speaker 1: in a car and trying to talk to him. And
Speaker 1: he's been told his whole life not to talk to
Speaker 1: that person. So I waited till my daughter came out.
Speaker 1: Once she was out, I had hair go up to
Speaker 1: him and ask him if he was okay, because that
Speaker 1: makes me safe for having my daughter with me and
Speaker 1: her doing the talking. You just got to be sensitive
Speaker 1: to that stuff because then his mom's going to pick
Speaker 1: him up and he's like, some guy come and you
Speaker 1: forgot to pick me up or whatever it was. And
Speaker 1: some guy came and tried to talk to me, she'd
Speaker 1: be in a panic. Next thing, you know, the whole
Speaker 1: school is sending out letters warning people that there's a
Speaker 1: guy pulling up and trying and talk to kids.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he had his daughter in the car, so
Speaker 3: I was that's good.
Speaker 2: Nothing about him came across creepy, And to be honest,
Speaker 2: I was in a desperate state. We were like, we
Speaker 2: just need your help, sir. Creepy or not so, but.
Speaker 1: That's a sad thing, like what you were saying, we're
Speaker 1: all a little suspicious of each other. Everyone's a little
Speaker 1: bit creepy, like it's twenty twenty three and like we
Speaker 1: can't help each other anymore. That's that.
Speaker 5: When I go on a walk at nighttime and I
Speaker 5: see like a woman jogging or something, I always crossed
Speaker 5: the other side. Don't want to think I'm fall too. Yes,
Speaker 5: last year there before, I was in Austin, Texas for
Speaker 5: American Idol and I was on I was just walking.
Speaker 5: It was really late and now I was just walking
Speaker 5: downtown Austin and this woman's jogging and I like get
Speaker 5: out of her way, so she doesn't, and she runs by.
Speaker 5: She's like scrubbing in.
Speaker 1: Okay, I will.
Speaker 2: Say every time I'm on to walk, I and I'm
Speaker 2: pass it. I mean sorry, it's men. But when a
Speaker 2: man passes, I turn around to just make sure they don't.
Speaker 2: They didn't turn around. It's it's unfortunate, but.
Speaker 4: This man go at night anymore?
Speaker 2: Like no even during the day though, Oh really, yeah, paranoid.
Speaker 1: I walk my dog a lot. But when we're in Wisconsin,
Speaker 1: we don't have our dogs with us, and so we'll
Speaker 1: still need to get some exercise. So I'll have my
Speaker 1: wife or daughters go for a walk with me around
Speaker 1: the neighborhood. But if they're not available, like you just
Speaker 1: go like I really can't. It's a little weird to
Speaker 1: just be a weird old dude walking around the neighborhood,
Speaker 1: especially after.
Speaker 2: That the.
Speaker 1: Dog, no dog, no dog. I think it's not fine,
Speaker 1: especially after dark.
Speaker 4: But I think you have really Yeah, if I saw
Speaker 4: a man walking in the neighborhood by himself, i'd be
Speaker 4: I'd call coughs.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't find it weird. Like if you're a good person,
Speaker 3: then I don't.
Speaker 4: Know, no Mark would be so sad.
Speaker 1: I look good in people's windows for all they know.
Speaker 2: People don't so that I don't have like a weapon
Speaker 2: up mess.
Speaker 3: Leave walking around.
Speaker 1: It's different for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I'm just saying I don't think that like y'all.
Speaker 3: Have to be locked up in the house.
Speaker 1: That's why I make them go with me if I
Speaker 1: have something with you anymore.
Speaker 2: Well. Shout out to Scott and his an amazing family
Speaker 2: for helping us that lonely night in Texas.
Speaker 3: Lynn Dale.
Speaker 2: I think that's where we were, so yeah, I think
Speaker 2: we have emails, So we'll take a break and we'll
Speaker 2: be right back.
Speaker 5: We got more gas in this tank, baby.
Speaker 3: All right, we are back and we have emails. This
Speaker 3: first one.
Speaker 2: The disclaimer may be a laugh at while, but I
Speaker 2: appreciate it anyway.
Speaker 1: Abby says, please help Before I dive in, I want
Speaker 1: to preface this email by saying that I'm fully aware
Speaker 1: neither of you are medical professionals or merited adult medical advice,
Speaker 1: which is nice because we would have had to say
Speaker 1: that anyway. Now we don't have to. With that disclaimer
Speaker 1: in mind, I was recently diagnosed with hashimotos. Prior to
Speaker 1: my diagnosis, I had never heard of hashimotos. Hearing Tanya
Speaker 1: talk about her health journey has made me feel a
Speaker 1: lot less alone. However, I have eating habits more kin
Speaker 1: to Becca's. Up until now, I've never struggled with my weight,
Speaker 1: but now I've gained fifteen pounds seemingly overnight, and I'm
Speaker 1: getting married at the end of this year. I am
Speaker 1: stressed that I won't feel my best on my big day.
Speaker 1: To time you have any tips on how to start
Speaker 1: eating healthier and incorporating more health conscious life choices. I
Speaker 1: am struggling with transitioning from my previous lifestyle to the
Speaker 1: quote granola life, and I'd love any tips on how
Speaker 1: to make the transition easier for me.
Speaker 4: Yes, I am not a medical professional. Yes, However, I
Speaker 4: do feel like I've done a lot of research for
Speaker 4: myself in this and there are two paths. So I
Speaker 4: chose the path of no. I'm trying to avoid taking
Speaker 4: the medication, but there is a path in which you
Speaker 4: could take the medication for your hashemotives, because I read
Speaker 4: that you're getting married with congratulations at the end of
Speaker 4: the year, and I feel like maybe the medication might
Speaker 4: help you speed up the process if that's really important
Speaker 4: to you. So that is an option. The other option
Speaker 4: is the eating habits. I do think they're like, I
Speaker 4: do think there's a way to be gluten Gluten free
Speaker 4: is the biggest thing. It's anti inflammatory, and I think
Speaker 4: anti inflammatory is so good for just general health overall.
Speaker 4: It's good for everything. And so if you could go
Speaker 4: gluten free, I think that would tremendously help with your hashimotos.
Speaker 4: And I do think there's ways to eat gluten free,
Speaker 4: but also still eat a quote unquote like Becca, Like
Speaker 4: you could make gluten free macaroni and cheese. You could
Speaker 4: make gluten free grilled cheese, you could make gluten free tacos.
Speaker 4: I don't know what else. You burger, you can make
Speaker 4: gluten free burger. So you can still make the choices,
Speaker 4: like you still eat what you want to eat, but
Speaker 4: just make them gluten free.
Speaker 2: But I think I think the big thing is because
Speaker 2: like everything you eat, I'm like, that looks delicious, Like
Speaker 2: I would have no problem eating your you're food if
Speaker 2: but it's the commitment of cooking it and like making it.
Speaker 2: So I think, well, how did you get in your
Speaker 2: head of like I can do this on my own,
Speaker 2: because like going out to eat, and like if you're
Speaker 2: used to eating out or like getting fast food, the
Speaker 2: switch to just like cooking at home and making your
Speaker 2: food at home is like drastic.
Speaker 3: I feel like you did that already.
Speaker 4: So yeah, the thing is when you eat out, a
Speaker 4: lot of the time, your food's cooked with canola oil,
Speaker 4: which is like another really big no note. It's like
Speaker 4: very inflammatory. You should be eating with either avocado or
Speaker 4: olive oil. And so if I do got to eat,
Speaker 4: I do ask if they cook the eggs and like
Speaker 4: canola oil, and I'm that girl, I know, but so
Speaker 4: I try to avoid things, So I try to avoid
Speaker 4: things like that. So like, I know, poach eggs, you
Speaker 4: don't need oil, so I'll usually order poached eggs if
Speaker 4: I don't. Yeah, so I try to just like now
Speaker 4: I've kind of outsmarted the system because I hate being
Speaker 4: that customer that's like, do you know if they use
Speaker 4: olive oil in their salad dressing? And like I already
Speaker 4: have to do the whole gluten free thing. I just
Speaker 4: feel like such a pain. But yeah, I do think
Speaker 4: trying to cook more at home it's easier than you think.
Speaker 4: Upping your protein is like a huge thing. And then
Speaker 4: like the seed oils are like a really big I
Speaker 4: feel like starting it feels like I say, starting small,
Speaker 4: but that's actually a lot of stuff.
Speaker 3: Do you know what?
Speaker 2: Though, you shouldn't feel like a pain just trying to
Speaker 2: put good things in your body. Because when we were
Speaker 2: in Europe, it was shocking the difference of like when
Speaker 2: we had questions, they were so like no one acted
Speaker 2: put out by Hayley's food allergies or anything. They're just like,
Speaker 2: oh yeah, okay, this is what we use, and here's
Speaker 2: what you can have, and this is what we can make.
Speaker 2: But like, you shouldn't be annoying by making sure that
Speaker 2: you're not putting something in your body that is harmful
Speaker 2: to your body. We shouldn't be consuming a lot of
Speaker 2: the stuff that we are.
Speaker 4: That's true, that's true. But I do feel like sometimes
Speaker 4: I'm so high maintenance that that's like just eat at home.
Speaker 4: I'm like, I know you, I know, I do.
Speaker 3: I do, Yeah, and you.
Speaker 1: Do I do.
Speaker 2: So I think it's like maybe maybe it's like starting
Speaker 2: out with trying to make at least one meal at
Speaker 2: home and like doing a copycat of something that you
Speaker 2: love that's like gluten free or anti emplanmatory.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I would just look into you can google
Speaker 4: like hashimotos, different things to do, because like infrared saunas
Speaker 4: are really really good for hashimotos. I just think, again,
Speaker 4: medication is an option, so I think just kind of.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but isn't the whole thing that once you're on
Speaker 3: the medication forever.
Speaker 4: Yeah, That's why I'm hesitant to But she says she's
Speaker 4: getting married at the end of the year, so I
Speaker 4: feel like there might be more of a deadline.
Speaker 2: Well, it sounds like she's stressed about her weight more
Speaker 2: than anything, and you've actually lost weight just by cutting
Speaker 2: out gluten.
Speaker 3: And it is true.
Speaker 4: I lost I really did lose weight, and I wasn't trying.
Speaker 4: It was total just shift in my diet. But it is,
Speaker 4: it's it's I think it's gluten's to the anti inflammatory because
Speaker 4: it really just kind of shrinks you.
Speaker 3: Makes sense.
Speaker 4: Yeah, good luck, Abby, Yeah, good luck.
Speaker 3: And congratulations on your wedding.
Speaker 1: Anonymous says, my boyfriend of six years just told me
Speaker 1: that he cheated on me a few days ago. He
Speaker 1: wanted to take a break to explore and then make
Speaker 1: a decision if you wanted to stay with me, but
Speaker 1: I told him no, we are done. I'm devastated and
Speaker 1: was completely shocked. We had our entire future planned out
Speaker 1: and it feels completely shattered into a million pieces. How
Speaker 1: do I come back from this? Where do I even
Speaker 1: start to meet new guys? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Speaker 3: Oh that is so.
Speaker 2: Rude. Take a break, to Lauren, then make a decision
Speaker 2: if you're worth it, right, I would say, because I
Speaker 2: feel like, especially when you're in a relationship for a
Speaker 2: long time, there's that feeling of like the thought of
Speaker 2: like where do I begin dating again?
Speaker 3: And I think I think it.
Speaker 2: Just to stay on theme with the podcast, is like
Speaker 2: you should be able to find where can you find
Speaker 2: comfort in yourself, Like getting out of this relationship with
Speaker 2: someone who now has made you trusted for six years
Speaker 2: and now has made you feel like you weren't worthy
Speaker 2: of his loyalty and his trust. You're going to probably
Speaker 2: go through a grieving process of this, really like with
Speaker 2: this relationship, and I think that it's important for you
Speaker 2: to kind of get in touch with yourself again, being
Speaker 2: by yourself, figuring out what you love and what you want,
Speaker 2: and then get into a place where you feel ready
Speaker 2: to give your heart to someone because I think it's
Speaker 2: going to be really scary for.
Speaker 3: You because he betrayed you. Yeah, and you trusted him.
Speaker 2: You thought you were going to be with him forever,
Speaker 2: and now you're in a place where he betrayed that.
Speaker 2: So I think it's I think you give yourself time
Speaker 2: to heal. And I'm so sorry that you're in this position.
Speaker 2: You you were in a long term relationship for before,
Speaker 2: like your long relationship.
Speaker 4: Yeah he didn't cheat on me.
Speaker 2: No, No, no, but like getting just in general, like breaking
Speaker 2: up and like getting out, it's like that feel that
Speaker 2: fear of Like.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think I remember when I got out
Speaker 4: of that. I'd never gone to a wedding by myself,
Speaker 4: I'd never done anything alone. And so but my pendulum
Speaker 4: swung so far to the side that it was like
Speaker 4: I preferred doing stuff alone, Like I liked going to
Speaker 4: events alone. I liked doing stuff alone. Like I think
Speaker 4: I got a little too comfortable in the aloness.
Speaker 3: I always wanted.
Speaker 2: That's not true, Like maybe you got comfortable with it,
Speaker 2: but you were always hopeful for it to find a yah.
Speaker 4: But I always I knew there's a thing, the desire,
Speaker 4: a desire. It was always a desire of my heart
Speaker 4: to like be married, have a lifelong partner, have kids,
Speaker 4: Like that's always been a desire of my heart. So
Speaker 4: I actively pursued that. Does that make sense? So, like
Speaker 4: I kept dating even though it sucked, and like I
Speaker 4: kept getting just lots of failed attempts. I knew that
Speaker 4: that was something that was going to come to me eventually. Uh,
Speaker 4: And I wanted that so much. But maybe if you've
Speaker 4: been maybe that's not what you want. Anonymous what's not
Speaker 4: what she wants. Maybe she doesn't want to be married,
Speaker 4: maybe that's not what she wants. Maybe, oh, maybe she
Speaker 4: just wants to be like flung around a little, you
Speaker 4: know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I'm note wants to be.
Speaker 2: I think she feels flung around right now, And I
Speaker 2: don't know if that's what she's gonna want, right I
Speaker 2: think that she's probably gonna want to feel safe and
Speaker 2: stable and protect and cared for. So I think that
Speaker 2: you do that for yourself, lean into your friendships, lean
Speaker 2: into the things that do make you feel safe and
Speaker 2: loved and cared for. And I think when your heart
Speaker 2: feels ready to put yourself out there to date again,
Speaker 2: you go out do things that you enjoy where there's
Speaker 2: other people there. You get involved where there's community.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because she said, where do I even start to
Speaker 4: meet new guys? And I feel like the world is
Speaker 4: our oyster these days. Like you can meet people on Instagram,
Speaker 4: you can meet people on dating apps, you can bet people.
Speaker 1: True, but I think she needs time more than anything else.
Speaker 4: I agree, But but where you meet them is like
Speaker 4: anywhere anyway.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't sign up for an app at this point.
Speaker 1: I would just let let yourself heal for a while
Speaker 1: and get to know who you are without him, because
Speaker 1: you don't know that person it's been six years.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, so I agree with that.
Speaker 2: And if you if you're like I am just in
Speaker 2: the mood for a rebound and I don't want to
Speaker 2: do anything safe and that feels like what you need to.
Speaker 4: Do, do it, do it, but.
Speaker 3: But don't take care of yourself.
Speaker 1: The decision you made with him, You made the right call. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And she.
Speaker 3: Is not a reflection of your value.
Speaker 4: And also, I know this is going to be hard,
Speaker 4: but try not to take that experience into your next
Speaker 4: relationship and be very like, don't have your guard up
Speaker 4: and don't like, don't put those trust issues from your
Speaker 4: ex onto your future partner.
Speaker 2: That's true, because that will happen, Yeah, unless you let
Speaker 2: yourself heal from this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And that might look ugly.
Speaker 2: It might be like anger, it might be rage, it
Speaker 2: might be like sadness and grief. But let yourself feel
Speaker 2: those things because it's important to get it out now. Yeah,
Speaker 2: we have a fun episode coming up on Thursday.
Speaker 3: We're doing something we've never done before.
Speaker 4: It's gonna be more of like a mini episode. If
Speaker 4: you will And.
Speaker 1: By the way, if people have ideas for what the
Speaker 1: Thursday episode should be, they should contribute them because we
Speaker 1: want to do different stuff. Yeah, we did games for
Speaker 1: a while, we did guests for a while, and we'll
Speaker 1: still do some guests. But we're open to ideas.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're open to suggestions, So if you have any,
Speaker 2: let us know.
Speaker 4: But I'm in the Facebook group.
Speaker 2: But this Thursday, we are going back to two thousand
Speaker 2: and seventeen. The year is twenty seventeen. It is episode
Speaker 2: seven of Scrubbing In with Bechetillian on Your AD and
Speaker 2: it is a wild change that has happened to us
Speaker 2: as people since this episode. So we're going to be
Speaker 2: recapping it. If you want to listen, it's episode seven
Speaker 2: Scrubbing In with Bectillians on your AD and it's.
Speaker 4: Called Annual check Up is the title of.
Speaker 2: The episode, and it has some gems in there. So
Speaker 2: we're going to be kind of just recapping it and
Speaker 2: like rehashing who we were as people during that time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I remember you referenced somebody you called him
Speaker 4: Arnold Swartz, and yeah, I don't even remember who that was,
Speaker 4: do you?
Speaker 3: I think?
Speaker 4: So all right, we'll get into it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So we'll be back Thursday with that and we
Speaker 2: hope you have a wonderful week and we love you
Speaker 2: so much.
Speaker 3: Bye bye,