Speaker 1: If you ever want to lead somebody in your life,
Speaker 1: you got to learn how to be led. And one
Speaker 1: of the ways to how to learn how to be
Speaker 1: led is in school. That's one of the earliest places
Speaker 1: we learn that. And ultimately on this podcast, I want
Speaker 1: to always tell you you got to lean into the
Speaker 1: hard things, not away from them, not run from them,
Speaker 1: not say it's too hard. Because you didn't say it
Speaker 1: in his email, but I would if I was with
Speaker 1: you in the cab of the truck and we were
Speaker 1: talking about this, I would say, be honest with me, Spencer.
Speaker 1: You're saying it's too hard, You're too weak. You're telling
Speaker 1: me you're too weak and this is too hard to
Speaker 1: finish school. Hey, everybody, welcome back to the podcast, episode
Speaker 1: one hundred and sixty five. Thank you for watching and listening.
Speaker 1: Wherever you're coming from, wherever whatever platform brought you here,
Speaker 1: and wherever you're listening. I appreciate you so much. I
Speaker 1: love doing this. That's why I've done so many because
Speaker 1: I keep coming back because of you, guys, because your
Speaker 1: questions are so great. That's what we do on this
Speaker 1: podcast is I answer your questions. Email me Granger Smith
Speaker 1: Podcast at gmail dot com and it could be about anything.
Speaker 1: Just like me and you are sitting in the cab
Speaker 1: of a truck driving down the road and we're like
Speaker 1: having a conversation and you're like, hey, Granger, can I
Speaker 1: ask you something? Something's been on my mind, something I'm
Speaker 1: going through, and I'm like, hit me, and we talk
Speaker 1: about it in long form. That's why I love the
Speaker 1: podcast as opposed to a quick, quick clip on social media.
Speaker 1: This is this is the full form. I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: you everything that I could think about it. I don't
Speaker 1: have any notes in front of me. I haven't pre
Speaker 1: planned answers to your questions. We're just going to go
Speaker 1: through the inbox and see what you sent. So here
Speaker 1: we go. Subject line in the first one says school
Speaker 1: slash work. Hey Granger, this is Spencer. I'm fifteen. I
Speaker 1: live in Florida. I love your music. Your song Country
Speaker 1: Things is probably my favorite. Thanks buddy. I just recently
Speaker 1: got a job, and I don't really see the importance
Speaker 1: of school because school doesn't pay me, and I feel
Speaker 1: like I have a good general education and I don't
Speaker 1: want to be a rocket scientist. I just want to
Speaker 1: go grab a chunk of land and live off of it.
Speaker 1: So why focus on school when I could have more
Speaker 1: hours and make more money and actually start getting somewhere
Speaker 1: in life. Thanks ye yee, Spencer, thank you for the email, buddy,
Speaker 1: and the fact that you're fifteen and listening to this podcast.
Speaker 1: I just appreciate that. I'm always surprised a little bit.
Speaker 1: I don't think I ever started this podcast directly towards
Speaker 1: young teens, but as I started posting clips up on TikTok,
Speaker 1: I started getting more of it, and I'm just I
Speaker 1: think it's amazing, and I think it's a true privilege
Speaker 1: for me to be able to speak into young teens,
Speaker 1: mainly because I used to be one, and I used
Speaker 1: to be a really dumb one, and so anything I
Speaker 1: say that might sound out of tough love. I want
Speaker 1: you to know, Oh, for instance, you Spencer, I want
Speaker 1: you to know that I'm speaking to myself because I
Speaker 1: once was you. And I want to point out the
Speaker 1: first thing to anyone listening that that email I just
Speaker 1: read had no punctuation in it. So that's kind of
Speaker 1: a it's kind of an ironic point here. The entire
Speaker 1: paragraph had no punctuation in it, which you know, may
Speaker 1: lead me to say that maybe school is not a
Speaker 1: bad thing just for punctuations sake. But let's dive into
Speaker 1: your question, Spencer, And you know what, this question is
Speaker 1: just as much related to parents, So parents of young teens.
Speaker 1: I think this question is great for you to hear too. Okay,
Speaker 1: And here's what I want to say, Spencer. You have
Speaker 1: no idea what you're talking about, and not that I do.
Speaker 1: I just I've lived three times as long as you, essentially,
Speaker 1: so I remember being fifteen and I remember thinking, what's
Speaker 1: the point of school? Well, the first point that you're
Speaker 1: missing is that school is not always about what you learn.
Speaker 1: It's more so about how you learn. Learning how to
Speaker 1: learn is a big piece of school. That's a big
Speaker 1: it's a big component to school. It's learning how to learn.
Speaker 1: Setting your eyes on a goal and setting forth to
Speaker 1: meet that goal with all kinds of requirements, and then
Speaker 1: fulfilling all the needs and meeting the goal and finishing
Speaker 1: the race. That's a big deal with school. It's not
Speaker 1: so much about actually specifically the facts and the skills
Speaker 1: that you're learning. And I know that sounds crazier, like
Speaker 1: that sounds counterproductive. Well, that's really a big deal because
Speaker 1: those of us that had finished high school know that
Speaker 1: when we got that diploma, we're like, man, that was
Speaker 1: probably the biggest deal I've ever done in my life.
Speaker 1: That's the biggest accomplishment so far that I've done in
Speaker 1: my life. And I'm not saying that lightly. That's what
Speaker 1: the high school diploma meant to me. I might not
Speaker 1: have known it at the time, as I was going
Speaker 1: through classes. A lot of it I just didn't like
Speaker 1: a lot of it. I thought was pointless. A lot
Speaker 1: of times I thought, I just want to sing music.
Speaker 1: What am I doing school for? You want to play music?
Speaker 1: This is crazy? What in this class in my learning?
Speaker 1: For my life? Nothing? That's what I kept saying to myself.
Speaker 1: But I didn't realize what I was doing. I didn't
Speaker 1: realize that I set off to accomplish a goal and
Speaker 1: I had to meet all these intricate requirements over the
Speaker 1: course of years. And when I finished it, I thought,
Speaker 1: I did it. I did one of the most meaningful
Speaker 1: things I've ever done. I finished it at high school diploma.
Speaker 1: There's that. That's where I'll start with. The Other thing
Speaker 1: I'll say is that you have no idea down the road,
Speaker 1: how many years down the road. You have no idea
Speaker 1: where you're gonna be and what you're gonna be doing.
Speaker 1: You say, right now, I'm just interested. I don't want
Speaker 1: to be a rocket scientist. I get it. But you say,
Speaker 1: I just I'm just interested in living off the land.
Speaker 1: And well, that's what you said. I just want to
Speaker 1: grab a chunk of land and live off of it. Man,
Speaker 1: I get it, So do I, bro so do I.
Speaker 1: When I was fifteen, that's a huge goal. And then
Speaker 1: things change. You get things like a wife, and you
Speaker 1: get things like kids, and you get things like responsibility,
Speaker 1: and you get things like you know, leases and mortgages
Speaker 1: and payments and things that you gotta do. Then that's
Speaker 1: a beautiful thing. That's life. Those are beautiful things. And
Speaker 1: part of that argument, I would say, hey, stay young,
Speaker 1: stay uncommitted for a while, and just enjoy it why
Speaker 1: you can, because guess what it's coming. You're gonna fall
Speaker 1: in love, you're gonna meet somebody. We'll probably answer a
Speaker 1: question on this podcast very soon about just this. But
Speaker 1: when that happens, and you got a wife, you got kids,
Speaker 1: and you've got responsibilities, and you got the job that
Speaker 1: you enjoy, and then one day your supervisor or your
Speaker 1: boss is going to promote you, and then they realize, oh,
Speaker 1: you don't have a high school diploma, that we got
Speaker 1: to promote the other guy that does. Sorry, Spencer, I
Speaker 1: didn't realize you never finished high school. But that's kind
Speaker 1: of that's the requirement to become a supervisor in this company.
Speaker 1: I know that sounds foreign to you right now. I
Speaker 1: know you're not even thinking about being part of a company,
Speaker 1: but more than likely you will. And this is the
Speaker 1: time to do it, because that's not the time to
Speaker 1: do it. The time to not do it is when
Speaker 1: you're thirty five years old and you go, man, I'm
Speaker 1: up for the supervisor position. But now I got to
Speaker 1: go get my ged because I was an idiot when
Speaker 1: I was fifteen and I didn't finish finish the race.
Speaker 1: School is not always about what you learn. It's about
Speaker 1: how you learn. It's about learning how to learn. Here's
Speaker 1: my final point. You are using this lifestyle of living
Speaker 1: off the land and being wild and free and school
Speaker 1: is worthless. You're using that argument as a cop out
Speaker 1: because school is boring. Then you don't want to do
Speaker 1: it and it's kind of hard, and you got to
Speaker 1: get up early and you got to read, and you
Speaker 1: got to follow under the authority of the rules of
Speaker 1: the school. That's all things that a fifteen year old
Speaker 1: kid doesn't really want to do. I mean, let's be honest,
Speaker 1: when I was fifteen, I didn't even want to brush
Speaker 1: my teeth, much less get out of bed, much less
Speaker 1: comb my hair, much left put on shoes. I just
Speaker 1: wanted to run around in the dirt all day and
Speaker 1: hunt deer, wild hair and unbrushed teeth. That's part of
Speaker 1: being a man. If you ever want to lead somebody
Speaker 1: in your life, you got to learn how to be led.
Speaker 1: And one of the ways to how to learn how
Speaker 1: to be lead is in school. That's one of the
Speaker 1: earliest places we learned that. And you also learn how
Speaker 1: to be around females and other guy friends, and you
Speaker 1: learn different kinds of skills. These are all things that
Speaker 1: you are using as a cop out because it's hard,
Speaker 1: and ultimately, on this podcast, I want to always tell
Speaker 1: you you got to lean into the hard things, not
Speaker 1: away from them, not run from them, not say it's
Speaker 1: too hard. Because you didn't say it in his email,
Speaker 1: but I would if I was with you in the
Speaker 1: cap of the truck and we were talking about this,
Speaker 1: I would say, be honest with the Spencer. You're saying
Speaker 1: it's too hard, you're too weak. You're telling me you're
Speaker 1: too weak and this is too hard to finish school.
Speaker 1: So you're like, I'm just want to be a you know,
Speaker 1: on the land. It's a cop out. It's a cop out.
Speaker 1: I know it's tough love. And I would say this
Speaker 1: to you to your face, and I would say it
Speaker 1: in confidence, knowing that I could say that to myself
Speaker 1: at your age, and I probably would have needed to
Speaker 1: hear it. Finish school. You will not regret it. Fifty
Speaker 1: years from now. You will not look back and say
Speaker 1: I wish I hadn't taken that advice from that podcast
Speaker 1: and finished school. It meant nothing. You will not say that,
Speaker 1: but you would regret if you don't trust me. I
Speaker 1: probably spent way too long on that. Let me move
Speaker 1: on to the next question. Subdecline says any advice on this,
Speaker 1: Dear Granger Smith, I prefer to stay anonymous. Last year,
Speaker 1: my fiance and I were expecting a baby. Unfortunately, both
Speaker 1: her and the baby didn't make it. I haven't been
Speaker 1: the same since. No matter what I do, I can't
Speaker 1: stop myself from thinking about them and what my life
Speaker 1: would have been. I know it's not easy. Is there
Speaker 1: any advice you have for me on perhaps starting to
Speaker 1: live my life again? Is there a way that I
Speaker 1: can get past this? Thank you? Yeah, Anonymous, Thanks for
Speaker 1: the email, Thanks for opening up, thanks for being vulnerable.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I can't I can't
Speaker 1: imagine losing a love of my life and a baby
Speaker 1: in the same day, in the same moment. Don't say this.
Speaker 1: I would say this, and the course of human history,
Speaker 1: your story is very common. You want to know how.
Speaker 1: I know because I've visited cemeteries. Have you ever visited
Speaker 1: a cemetery? I think it's important in life to occasionally
Speaker 1: visit a cemetery. I get such good perspective going to
Speaker 1: a cemetery and just walking walking, And that might sound morbid,
Speaker 1: that might sound weird, but I don't do it out
Speaker 1: of some kind of strange sentimental, weird vibe. I genuinely
Speaker 1: do it just to go and think a little bit.
Speaker 1: It relaxes me, honestly, and I could go through if
Speaker 1: say I'm in a new town and I'm on tour
Speaker 1: and playing music, and I go to grab some groceries
Speaker 1: for the bus. And if I see a cemetery and
Speaker 1: I have time, sometimes I'll take a stroll through it
Speaker 1: and just read some of the names and look at
Speaker 1: some of the dates, think about all the people, and
Speaker 1: I think about how many funerals were there, and how
Speaker 1: many people stood around those graves and cried and mourned,
Speaker 1: and then within just a few decades, they too were
Speaker 1: right there in the ground with their loved ones that
Speaker 1: they once mourned for. It's a crazy thought until one
Speaker 1: hundred years go by and the entire families there and
Speaker 1: they're all together. They're earthly bodies in the grave. It's
Speaker 1: a strange thought, but it's healing in a way. And
Speaker 1: to get to your point, so many times you see
Speaker 1: a mother and a baby buried next to each other,
Speaker 1: because that used to be very common, meaning that there's
Speaker 1: a lot of dads out there like you, billions of them,
Speaker 1: I'm sure, over the course of history that lost their
Speaker 1: wife and their child in childbirth. And what do they do.
Speaker 1: Always they moved forward. They continued to move forward because
Speaker 1: that's the only direction they can go. There is no reverse,
Speaker 1: there is no neutral. They move forward. They go on
Speaker 1: with their lives. They don't have to move on, they
Speaker 1: don't have to forget, they don't have to put it
Speaker 1: out of their head. But they use that and they
Speaker 1: store it up for gratefulness and they keep moving forward.
Speaker 1: You said, is there any way that I could learn
Speaker 1: to live my life again? You said, no matter what
Speaker 1: I do, I cannot stop my stuff from thinking of them. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, here's this. First of all, you said
Speaker 1: last year, so you're just a year in. That's the
Speaker 1: first thing is it takes time to heal. Time is
Speaker 1: going to be your friend. As time goes by, as
Speaker 1: months go by, as years go by, you'll start to
Speaker 1: slowly heal through this. And that's inevitable. You're going to heal.
Speaker 1: And when ten years goes by, you're gonna look back
Speaker 1: and it's not gonna be easy to look at it,
Speaker 1: but it's it's got to be better. It's got to
Speaker 1: be better, way better than you are right now a
Speaker 1: year in. It's really tough for you are. The second
Speaker 1: point I want to make is you say, no matter
Speaker 1: what I do, I cannot stop myself from thinking of
Speaker 1: them and what my life would have been. That's a mistake.
Speaker 1: I'm not blaming you for it. I understand that sentiment,
Speaker 1: but I'm telling you don't do that, because why do
Speaker 1: I say? Why do I say? Don't think about what
Speaker 1: your life would have been, because that's impossible because it
Speaker 1: didn't happen. There is no what your life would have been.
Speaker 1: It is only what your life is because that's what happened.
Speaker 1: And this is where you are. If you live a
Speaker 1: life thinking about what would have been, you're only living
Speaker 1: half a life. What you're supposed to be and what
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be is embracing who you are right
Speaker 1: now today in relation to all the circumstances that your
Speaker 1: story has brought you today. So you are who you
Speaker 1: are because of the stories that have shaped you, and
Speaker 1: this is who God made you to be. With these stories,
Speaker 1: with the adversity, with the highs and the lows, That's
Speaker 1: what makes you who you are. That's what makes you tick.
Speaker 1: That's what makes you ironically anonymous. Right, I would say
Speaker 1: your name, but that wouldn't make sense because you asked
Speaker 1: to be anonymous. You are who you are because of
Speaker 1: your stories and everything that made you, so there is
Speaker 1: no life that would have been with them. Instead, there
Speaker 1: is a life that you learned from them that you
Speaker 1: will now take to your nome relationship as you move forward,
Speaker 1: and don't worry about rushing that it's gonna happen when
Speaker 1: it happens. Don't even think about it right now. You
Speaker 1: could just grieve. It's okay. The date's gonna come up
Speaker 1: when it's the day that they died, and that's gonna
Speaker 1: be a tough anniversary. And you're gonna think about on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: You're going to think about it on Christmas. You're gonna
Speaker 1: think about it on a major holidays. You're gonna be
Speaker 1: more sentimental to it. But that's okay. Whatever you feel
Speaker 1: at the time is okay. Just keep moving forward, just
Speaker 1: like all those graves, Just like all those fathers before us,
Speaker 1: before you, they made it. Humans have overcome unbelievable tragedy,
Speaker 1: and you will too. Next question, subject CLIENTE says meeting
Speaker 1: a new girl, Fay Grange. I'm twenty four years old
Speaker 1: from a small town in central Illinois. I'd like to
Speaker 1: stay anonymous. There's this girl I've been talking to on FaceTime,
Speaker 1: Snapchat and on the phone. I've never met her because
Speaker 1: she's living in CALIFORNI that I already have strong feelings
Speaker 1: for her and want to meet her, but my siblings
Speaker 1: and some friends say I shouldn't go out there to
Speaker 1: meet her. I'm just wondering if you had any advice,
Speaker 1: hoping to hear from you. Keep the good work coming
Speaker 1: on the podcast. Thanks Anonymous. It's funny. It's sometimes it
Speaker 1: occurs to me when people ask to be anonymous, when
Speaker 1: your story is so specific. I'm wondering, Like, you're twenty
Speaker 1: four years old from Central Illinois and you're talking to
Speaker 1: a girl in California on Snapchat. Whoever's listening that wants
Speaker 1: to know who you are, They know who you are.
Speaker 1: Just kind of throwing that out there, But I appreciate
Speaker 1: your trusting me with something like this. And here's what
Speaker 1: I'll say. You're you're talking to her, you've never met her.
Speaker 1: What's it gonna hurt? What's it gonna hurt to go
Speaker 1: out to California for the weekend and visit this girl?
Speaker 1: Because then you'll know. Then you don't have to worry
Speaker 1: about it anymore. You're gonna know or you're not. Now
Speaker 1: I want to say a couple of things about that. First,
Speaker 1: do not go alone. You're gonna go with a friend,
Speaker 1: maybe you're being catfished in a weird way. I don't know,
Speaker 1: be hard this catfish on the FaceTime. But it's possible
Speaker 1: go with a friend, and that's just good. That would
Speaker 1: be a man of integrity would travel with a friend
Speaker 1: anyway to see a girl, and you would not get
Speaker 1: a hotel and you will not stay with her alone,
Speaker 1: et cetera, et cetera. Let's assume that that's the way
Speaker 1: this goes down. It's gonna be a nice dinner and
Speaker 1: movie and tell her to bring a friend and your
Speaker 1: friend has someone, and you know, it's like a double date,
Speaker 1: double blind date. Essentially. The second thing is going into this.
Speaker 1: You apparently know her well and you've talked to her.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have a good conversation with her, a very
Speaker 1: open conversation. It's like, Hey, I want to come busy you.
Speaker 1: I want to jump on a I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: roll over to Chicago. I'm gonna roll over the Midway.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a Southwest Airlines flight over to Burbank
Speaker 1: or wherever you are. And that's not a very expensive flight.
Speaker 1: I fly out of Chicago all the time, and maybe
Speaker 1: maybe you can get one from under one hundred bucks. Right,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna but I'm gonna go out here. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: fly under to see you. But before I do that,
Speaker 1: I need to know something, Okay, And then then it
Speaker 1: gets really serious, right like pin gonna drop. It gets
Speaker 1: so quiet, and she's like yeah, and you're like, I
Speaker 1: really like you. And if I fly out there and
Speaker 1: I find out that it's legit and we have something,
Speaker 1: where do we go from there? Like would you be
Speaker 1: open to moving to Illinois or do you need me
Speaker 1: to move to California? I'm just saying, And she's gonna
Speaker 1: be like, oh, you know, she's gonna get embarrassed, and
Speaker 1: you go, no, I'm serious. I know this sounds crazy,
Speaker 1: but I'm a planner. She could respect that. Like I'm
Speaker 1: a planner. I don't just do things and just hope
Speaker 1: for the best. Just throw it up in the air
Speaker 1: and see what sticks. I want to know, like, say,
Speaker 1: five years down the road, are we living together in
Speaker 1: California married with two kids? Are we living here in
Speaker 1: Illinois married with three kids? Like? Where do you see
Speaker 1: this going? And if she says something like well, first
Speaker 1: of all, I'll never move in Illinois. Ever, I hate
Speaker 1: that state. I would never leave California. You got to
Speaker 1: admit that's kind of a red flag. So it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: mental note, she hates my state? Or what if she
Speaker 1: says something like this, You know what, I think you're
Speaker 1: a great guy, and I just want to be with
Speaker 1: somebody that I love, that I think could be a
Speaker 1: great father to my children and a great husband. And
Speaker 1: if that's the case, I'll move wherever. It's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I like that. That's a check in the positive box,
Speaker 1: just saying those are some conversations that you got to
Speaker 1: whenever you're dealing with long distance relationship on the phone
Speaker 1: only you have to hit them with some hard questions
Speaker 1: that you would not normally say on a first, second, third,
Speaker 1: but you got to because you don't want to waste
Speaker 1: money on a flight and get out there and actually
Speaker 1: like her, find out three months later she hates Illinois,
Speaker 1: she hates your family, she doesn't ever want to get
Speaker 1: a job, she's lazy, whatever. It was all just infatuation
Speaker 1: and you fail for it. Okay, you don't want to
Speaker 1: find that out after you've invested these plane tickets and
Speaker 1: these dinners and a lot of time, right, does that
Speaker 1: make sense? So lay out some ground rules, ask the
Speaker 1: hard questions early, take a friend, and then I say,
Speaker 1: what's it hurt just to go out to California for
Speaker 1: a weekend and see what's up. Worst case scenario, you
Speaker 1: travel and eat some good almonds or something. You know what,
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Speaker 1: to the podcast, All right, back to the podcast, Back
Speaker 1: to the questions. I'm gonna jump into this one. It says, hey,
Speaker 1: mister Smith. I'm Mike D. I'm from Countryside, the countryside
Speaker 1: of southern New Jersey. I'm twenty one years old. I've
Speaker 1: been welding going on for three years now, and I
Speaker 1: struggle at times with being patient and trusting God to
Speaker 1: get me where he wants me. I'm curious on how
Speaker 1: you trusted His process when you first started your music
Speaker 1: career when times seemed slow or rough. Thank you for
Speaker 1: your time and thank you for your music. Yee, Mike D.
Speaker 1: Appreciate the email. Mike, thanks for the question. It's a
Speaker 1: good question, and I want to I want to really
Speaker 1: nudge you on this. I want to dig in. In fact,
Speaker 1: I don't even know what I'm gonna say, but if
Speaker 1: me and you were right in the truck, I would
Speaker 1: ask you a couple questions. I would say, why do
Speaker 1: you think God is pushing you through this welding career?
Speaker 1: Why do you think why do you think I would
Speaker 1: think God was pushing me through a music career. That's
Speaker 1: something I would ask if we're in the cap of
Speaker 1: the truck. There's no right or wrong answer, but I
Speaker 1: say that because you say I'm curious on how you
Speaker 1: trusted His process when you first started your music career
Speaker 1: when things seemed slow or rough. So how this is
Speaker 1: what I would say now. I don't know what I
Speaker 1: thought back then because I wasn't necessarily a believer and
Speaker 1: I wasn't a new creation, But I would say now
Speaker 1: that God takes us through slow or rough times purposely.
Speaker 1: That's what the Bible says. He's sovereign, he ordains everything.
Speaker 1: So I would say He willed the slow in rough
Speaker 1: times for me as opposed to it sounds like what
Speaker 1: you're saying in the email is that or maybe you
Speaker 1: understand that, but it sounds like you're saying God didn't
Speaker 1: want you to be in the slow rough times and
Speaker 1: he's kind of waiting for you to come out of it.
Speaker 1: So I would say God needs us to go through
Speaker 1: rough times, and it's up to us to realize who
Speaker 1: he is through his revealed word in the Bible. We
Speaker 1: find out who he is in the Bible. And you
Speaker 1: say you struggle at times of being patient and trusting
Speaker 1: God to get you where he wants you to be.
Speaker 1: I could tell you exactly where he wants you to be,
Speaker 1: and that's with your nose in the Bible, because that's
Speaker 1: where he speaks. That's his ever living word where he
Speaker 1: still speaks today. And so you get your nose in
Speaker 1: that Bible and you go, all right, God, cup of coffee,
Speaker 1: I'm up early before the sun of starting early here
Speaker 1: in Matthew one, chapter one, verse one. All right, God,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read, reveal to me your precious word. Reveal
Speaker 1: to me right now what I need to see for
Speaker 1: my purpose, fulfill for me, your purpose in me, Your
Speaker 1: will be done, not mine. And you start there. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's a really good place to start. That's a really
Speaker 1: good prayer and a really good place to start, right
Speaker 1: before the sun comes up to kick off each day.
Speaker 1: And you do that every single day, and do that
Speaker 1: for a year, and I would be very surprised after
Speaker 1: a year you do that every single morning. I'd be
Speaker 1: very surprised if you walked away and said, I still
Speaker 1: have no idea what his will is for my life.
Speaker 1: I give you a spoiler alert, and he's going to
Speaker 1: tell you in there that his will for your life
Speaker 1: is to take the Gospel to all nations and make disciples.
Speaker 1: That's his will. That's what he needs from you. That
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with welding. Welding is just a vehicle.
Speaker 1: It's just it's a tent making business for you. It's
Speaker 1: either funding you know what you need to be doing,
Speaker 1: or it's introducing me to people that you work with,
Speaker 1: or it's it's bringing new clients to you, or it's
Speaker 1: getting you in front of new people that you're but
Speaker 1: all of it is to make disciples of all nations.
Speaker 1: That's his will for you. That's just a hint, but
Speaker 1: I would ask you to dive into it, get your
Speaker 1: nose in there. That's what you need to be doing.
Speaker 1: Next question, another young teen. I love this email, says
Speaker 1: Hey Grage. I'm thirteen years old. I'm a boy from
Speaker 1: a rural part of Michigan, and I have for the
Speaker 1: last year went through the loss of my grandpa, who
Speaker 1: was the father and dad to me because my parents
Speaker 1: are divorced, so me and him did everything together, hunted, fished.
Speaker 1: My question for you is how do you find happiness
Speaker 1: when I know everything is not okay? Question comes from
Speaker 1: Iden and your thirteen year old language. Iden, you asked
Speaker 1: a very profound question and I love it and it
Speaker 1: shows a depth in you. Iden that's amazing, way ahead
Speaker 1: of me at thirteen. Because here's what you said, how
Speaker 1: do you find happiness when you know everything is not okay? Right? Like,
Speaker 1: that's the question, that's the question of life. How do
Speaker 1: you find happiness when things are not okay? So think
Speaker 1: about that. Let's unpack that. If we were in the
Speaker 1: cab of a truck, we would drive down the road
Speaker 1: and we'd say, let's unpack that. Tell me that again,
Speaker 1: how do you find happiness when you know everything is
Speaker 1: not okay? And I would say, well, maybe happiness is
Speaker 1: not what you're seeking. Maybe happiness is not attainable if
Speaker 1: everything is not okay. Hey, true, then maybe there's another
Speaker 1: word for what you're longing for, what you're yearning for,
Speaker 1: And I would say, it's joy. So let's replace happiness
Speaker 1: with joy, because happiness happens to us. Happiness comes and goes.
Speaker 1: It's fleeting, it happens. You could walk outside and it's
Speaker 1: a sunny day and the sun hits your shoulders and
Speaker 1: the warm breeze hit your face, and you go, I'm happy.
Speaker 1: And then five minutes later, a rainstorm comes and blows
Speaker 1: your hat off your head and you step in a
Speaker 1: puddle and you go not happy anymore. It's gone. So
Speaker 1: let's replace the word happiness with joy, because joy is
Speaker 1: something far more eternal, far more deep within you. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna reask your question, how do you find joy
Speaker 1: when you know everything is not okay? Now we're digging deep.
Speaker 1: Now we're having a good conversation in the truck, and
Speaker 1: I would say, first of all, congratulations on knowing that
Speaker 1: everything's not okay. Like that's the first battle I would say.
Speaker 1: I would say, recognizing that everything is not okay, there's
Speaker 1: something a lot of people can't do. A lot of
Speaker 1: people think it's just something's wrong, but they can't place
Speaker 1: exactly what in their life is falling apart. It's like
Speaker 1: everything and that's a problem. That's where depression starts setting
Speaker 1: in when you go, my life seems okay, everything seems
Speaker 1: to be put together, but I'm just not right okay.
Speaker 1: But you're not saying that id and you're saying you
Speaker 1: see the brokenness because you lost directly related to the
Speaker 1: loss of your grandpa, who was a father figure to you,
Speaker 1: because your parents are divorced. So there's the problem. He's
Speaker 1: gone and things are not okay, and it's okay, it's
Speaker 1: okay to not be okay. You know why, because you
Speaker 1: lost your grandpa, and you loved your grandpa and he
Speaker 1: was a dad to you and it taught you everything.
Speaker 1: Then he was a great man and he loved you,
Speaker 1: and you're grieving him, and it's okay to not be okay.
Speaker 1: Let's establish that right now. And here's another thing. Let's
Speaker 1: use that word happy. It's okay to not be happy
Speaker 1: when things are not okay. That's normal. Don't let anybody
Speaker 1: tell you snap out of it. You should be happy
Speaker 1: right now, you know, Wipe that frown off your face.
Speaker 1: Don't let anybody tell you that, because whatever you're feeling
Speaker 1: is right when it comes to grief. So you gotta
Speaker 1: let some time go by. And as time goes by,
Speaker 1: you'll start realizing realizing some more things. And this is
Speaker 1: a lot for a thirteen year old, Iden, This is
Speaker 1: a lot. But I love that you're asking these right questions.
Speaker 1: Here's let me wrap this up. You can have joy
Speaker 1: and not be okay. You could have joy and grieve.
Speaker 1: You could have joy and mourn all at the same time.
Speaker 1: And that comes from realizing that you are a child
Speaker 1: of God, that you have a heavenly father who has
Speaker 1: chosen you, who loves you, who cares for you, who
Speaker 1: is watching you, who has planned for you, who knows
Speaker 1: exactly what happened to your grandfather and has a plan
Speaker 1: that he will enact on you, and he will fulfill
Speaker 1: his purpose in you. Knowing that you're not worthy of that,
Speaker 1: knowing that you don't deserve that. Now that just overflows
Speaker 1: with joy, going you know what, I lost the one
Speaker 1: thing on this earth that I love, my grandpa. But
Speaker 1: I have something greater than that, heavenly father that I'll
Speaker 1: never lose, that will reunite me with my grandpa. But
Speaker 1: I will see again, and I will learn not to
Speaker 1: ask why instead of what? What do you need me
Speaker 1: to learn from this? Now, this, this kind of thinking
Speaker 1: takes a long time to unpack. But the end road
Speaker 1: of this, what you'll discover as you as you go
Speaker 1: down this path is you will have joy. And it's
Speaker 1: okay to have joy and not be okay. And that's
Speaker 1: how you move forward. You don't get stuck. You don't
Speaker 1: want to get stuck in your grief, stuck in the mud,
Speaker 1: or you just can't get out. That is the road
Speaker 1: to depression. Let's hit another one here. Subject line says
Speaker 1: searching for young Christians to grow with hey Grander. My
Speaker 1: name is Katie. I'm twenty three. We have moved to
Speaker 1: Chicago a year ago from Pennsylvania. This past year have
Speaker 1: been shown the beauty and struggle of being in the
Speaker 1: early twenties. I'm searching for a Bible study or a
Speaker 1: worship group of young Christians in my area are virtually
Speaker 1: or virtually who are relying on their faith to guide
Speaker 1: them through this time of uncertainty and remarkable change. Do
Speaker 1: you yourself have any advice on navigating the identity crisis
Speaker 1: that comes in your early twenties and figuring out God's
Speaker 1: plan for you from relationships and friendships to family and work. Katie,
Speaker 1: all right, cool, Thanks for the question, Katie. What identity
Speaker 1: crisis are you talking about? As a Christian? You're going
Speaker 1: to find your identity through your Creator, not in a
Speaker 1: way that you define it or that anyone else defines it.
Speaker 1: Let's clear that up from the beginning, and second of all,
Speaker 1: figuring out God's plan. You know I've gone through this
Speaker 1: on this podcast. You don't have to figure out God's
Speaker 1: plan for you. Did you know that that's not a
Speaker 1: burden you have to carry. You don't have to figure
Speaker 1: out what God wants to do with you, Like, what's
Speaker 1: the mystery God? What mysterious plan does God have for me?
Speaker 1: I hope that one day I'll just figure it out. Now,
Speaker 1: how awesome is it to know that you don't have
Speaker 1: to carry that burden and figure that out on your own. Now,
Speaker 1: what you can do, what you need to do, what
Speaker 1: you should do, what you're designed to do, is pull
Speaker 1: out your Bible. It's our instruction manual. This is an
Speaker 1: ancient book, but it's trustworthy and it goes back thousands
Speaker 1: of years with over forty different authors written over the
Speaker 1: course of over fifteen hundred years, written by eyewitnesses in
Speaker 1: the presence of other white eyewitnesses fulfilling ancient prophecies claim
Speaker 1: to be divine in nature. Now, we could trust this
Speaker 1: book historically and factually and archaeologically, archaeologically what's that word.
Speaker 1: I don't know, that's way too big a word for me.
Speaker 1: But you could trust this book in all those kind
Speaker 1: of ways. But that's kind of beside the point here.
Speaker 1: You could trust that book spiritually by opening it up
Speaker 1: and reading it right, so you discover through reading that
Speaker 1: book that God's plan for you is written there. Sometimes
Speaker 1: we read a book most of the time we read
Speaker 1: books and we try to figure out what they're saying.
Speaker 1: We read the Bible when we figure out it already
Speaker 1: knows us, It already understands us, and it's a crazy
Speaker 1: thing that you could only find in those pages. Like
Speaker 1: I said earlier to that guy, get your nose in
Speaker 1: the book. So let's be more practical here. Besides that,
Speaker 1: you say, do you have any advice on navigating this
Speaker 1: remarkable change in your early twenties, you moved from Chicago
Speaker 1: from Pennsylvania. Okay, so I got a guy from the
Speaker 1: Chicago area that's in love with a girl from California.
Speaker 1: I could introduce you to He's twenty four. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1: He's anonymous though, so we don't know how to find him,
Speaker 1: but maybe you could email in and we could hook
Speaker 1: you guys up. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, kind of not kidding.
Speaker 1: But what if in this podcast we became matchmakers and
Speaker 1: people emailed in that we're trying to find somebody, and
Speaker 1: they actually found each other because they both emailed the podcast.
Speaker 1: That would be interesting. You said, you're searching for a
Speaker 1: Bible study or worship group of young Christians in your
Speaker 1: area who are relying on their faith to guide them
Speaker 1: through this time of Oh, I know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: You're talking about uncertainty as far as like viruses and stuff,
Speaker 1: aren't you? Maybe you are listen. What about a local
Speaker 1: church that's like the place to go to find Bible
Speaker 1: studies and young Christians? Is a local church and if
Speaker 1: you go there and there's not any, you go to
Speaker 1: another one. Chicago is full of them. I know many
Speaker 1: in Chicago. There's probably a thousand. There's probably a thousand
Speaker 1: in Chicago. No, there's not a thousand good ones. But
Speaker 1: I think that'd be a great adventure on Sundays to
Speaker 1: do a little research before you go. Check out the
Speaker 1: about me on their website, on the church website, read
Speaker 1: about them a little bit, and go seek it out.
Speaker 1: That would be a great adventure and a great way
Speaker 1: to meet young people. And I don't think you can
Speaker 1: go wrong. You'll end up landing in the right spot.
Speaker 1: Saturate that ideal with prayer. Let's grab another one doing
Speaker 1: the random scroll here on Granger smith POD's at podcast
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com, and this one came up subject
Speaker 1: line break up confusion. Hey Granger, longtime fan. I saw
Speaker 1: a concert in Oregon last year. It was really amazing.
Speaker 1: Recently broke up. Recently broken up with But where I
Speaker 1: have trouble is the way that it happened. Okay, I'm listening,
Speaker 1: and then we got a list of bullet points here
Speaker 1: that you put it says. One month ago everything was amazing.
Speaker 1: One month ago, boyfriend got second job to pay off
Speaker 1: truck and buy house for himself. Us started working sixty
Speaker 1: to seventy five hours a week, drinking, exhausting himself and
Speaker 1: using alcohol to cope. He shuts down often, so I
Speaker 1: tried to be there for him and support him and
Speaker 1: no luck. Randomly breaks up with me that same week
Speaker 1: when we had been working on some issues, like there
Speaker 1: was nothing wrong, But then his excuse was he needed
Speaker 1: to find himself be happy again live in his early twenties.
Speaker 1: He told me the door is still open. He needs
Speaker 1: a break For a few months. He didn't say break
Speaker 1: up untill I told him to clarify this. Do I
Speaker 1: take your past advice from episode one sixty one or
Speaker 1: is that a different case by case. I'm racking my
Speaker 1: brain because I thought this was the one together two
Speaker 1: years eight months. Only started acting like this after that
Speaker 1: new job. Thank you, Granger, Love and blessings to your family,
Speaker 1: Happy holidays. Did you say your name? You didn't. You
Speaker 1: didn't say your name, but that's okay. Thanks for your
Speaker 1: sweet words, and thanks for the for the question I
Speaker 1: want to say, I don't don't. I don't necessarily remember
Speaker 1: what I said in episode one sixty one. I don't
Speaker 1: necessarily remember what I said in the first break of
Speaker 1: this podcast, episode one sixty five, because my brain is
Speaker 1: all over the place. But I don't think it's going
Speaker 1: to be different. So let me shoot from the hip.
Speaker 1: He broke up with you because he says he needs
Speaker 1: to find himself and be happy again. The poor guy.
Speaker 1: The poor guy just wants to be happy. Can't you
Speaker 1: blame him? He just wants to live in his early twenties,
Speaker 1: find himself and be happy. Man, that just sounds like
Speaker 1: a bad poem waiting to happen. Here's a deal. I
Speaker 1: know that this sounds crazy because you guys dated for
Speaker 1: two years and eight months and it seems like it's
Speaker 1: coming out of nowhere. But what I'm willing to predict is,
Speaker 1: although it seems like it came out of the blue,
Speaker 1: he has been acting and hiding this for several months now,
Speaker 1: and he has finally gotten tired of acting like he's
Speaker 1: into this relationship. And that's what happens when someone's like
Speaker 1: deeply in love for a long time and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, boom, they're out, like they no longer
Speaker 1: want to be in it. That just means that there
Speaker 1: was a transition period, pretty good transition period time when
Speaker 1: he was just acting. He realized his love was starting
Speaker 1: to fade, and so he started kicking in the acting gear.
Speaker 1: And as it faded more, and he started acting more,
Speaker 1: and he faded more until he got unbearable where he
Speaker 1: couldn't act anymore, and he said, you know what, I
Speaker 1: can't I can't do it. And then he's probably sat
Speaker 1: there for a couple of weeks and he said, I
Speaker 1: gotta tell her. I gotta tell her. I gotta tell her.
Speaker 1: I gotta tell her. I can't fake this anymore. I
Speaker 1: can't act like this anymore. I gotta tell her. And finally,
Speaker 1: one night he just said, I gotta tell you something.
Speaker 1: I gotta break up with you. I want to go
Speaker 1: on a break and I need to find myself and
Speaker 1: I need to be live in my early twenties and
Speaker 1: I need to do what else? What else? Oh, I
Speaker 1: need to be happy again. He's like going down the
Speaker 1: little checklist. Listen, I don't mean to I don't mean
Speaker 1: to sound harsh on you, and I want to respect
Speaker 1: your feelings. But at the same time, I want to
Speaker 1: give you tough life because I want to. I want
Speaker 1: to shoot you straight so that you could recover quicker
Speaker 1: and you could heal better and faster. Because if I
Speaker 1: just if I give it to you soft, you're just
Speaker 1: gonna hang on to him. But maybe it has to
Speaker 1: do with this new job. Maybe it has to do
Speaker 1: with him drinking and exhausting himself and using alcohol to cope.
Speaker 1: Maybe he was actually getting the job to pay off
Speaker 1: a truck and buy a house for you, or maybe
Speaker 1: not any of that. Maybe that's just that all was
Speaker 1: a facade and he's been fading, and he as as
Speaker 1: he started fading, he decided to get a job that
Speaker 1: kicked in more hours, thinking maybe that would save it.
Speaker 1: And when that didn't save it, maybe he started drinking
Speaker 1: because he still was losing love, and then when alcohol
Speaker 1: didn't work, he'd drank more. Like that's very possible that
Speaker 1: that's what happened. But the bottom line is he's out,
Speaker 1: and you're going through all the facts in your head.
Speaker 1: You're replaying on all this, like what did I do wrong?
Speaker 1: What could I blame? Like your brain wants to blame
Speaker 1: something it wants to identify, like boom, that was the
Speaker 1: moment that he took the job. The job is what
Speaker 1: killed our relationship, Okay, And like you could deal with that,
Speaker 1: you go, there's the moment, but it's harder to deal
Speaker 1: with he just fell out of love. There's nothing you did,
Speaker 1: and there was no catalyst, and it wasn't the job.
Speaker 1: In fact, it was all a facade and he was acting. Listen.
Speaker 1: I might be wrong about all of this, but I'm
Speaker 1: I got a pretty good hunch because I've lived it.
Speaker 1: I've got a pretty good hunch that that's where his
Speaker 1: head is. But it doesn't really matter because he's out,
Speaker 1: and you need to trust his words when he says
Speaker 1: I need to get out. Do you want to be
Speaker 1: with a guy that says I just need to live
Speaker 1: in my early twenties and be happy again. I just
Speaker 1: need to find myself. You want to be with a
Speaker 1: guy that has lost himself? No, you don't know. You don't,
Speaker 1: I don't even know what that means. I don't know
Speaker 1: what that means. But there's a better guy for you.
Speaker 1: There's a guy that will not lose himself. There's a
Speaker 1: guy that will not drink himself silly because he's just
Speaker 1: trying to hide his emotions about you. There's a guy
Speaker 1: that won't work seventy five hours a week because he
Speaker 1: just would rather be home with you. There's a guy
Speaker 1: that wants to spend his early twenties with you. There's
Speaker 1: a guy that's when he's with you, he's happy. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, there's that guy out there, and you're gonna
Speaker 1: find him. And it's not this dude. Don't look at
Speaker 1: the two and two years and eight months, don't look
Speaker 1: at his wasted time. It's not wasted time. You learned
Speaker 1: a lot. You learned what to look for in the
Speaker 1: next guy. You learn for what warning science to see,
Speaker 1: You learn what red flags are. You learn that it
Speaker 1: might not be as easy as you think to find
Speaker 1: the spouse that you want to been the rest of
Speaker 1: your life with. And that's okay. It's the search and
Speaker 1: you'll find them. That's all we got. Love you, guys,
Speaker 1: See you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the
Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys. You could
Speaker 1: help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If
Speaker 1: you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little
Speaker 1: like button and notification spell so that you never miss
Speaker 1: anytime I upload a video. If you have a question
Speaker 1: for me that you would like me to answer, email
Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com, yig