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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Ren and I

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Speaker 1: Heart Radio podcast. Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in. It's well,

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Speaker 1: well yeah it's a Memorial Day. But we're recording this

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Speaker 1: on a Friday because we're taking the day off. But

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Speaker 1: I have to tell you the funniest story. So I, um,

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Speaker 1: I woke up extra early this morning for work because

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Speaker 1: I was doing the news. So I just had a

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Speaker 1: little bit more work on my plate this morning. Right,

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Speaker 1: So I finished work and before the podcast, I had

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Speaker 1: like a couple hours and so in my mind, I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm a little tired. I'm gonna take like

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Speaker 1: a quick twenty minute nap then wake up and you know,

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Speaker 1: do all the things. Right. I passed out and I

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Speaker 1: did not wake up. I didn't set an alarm because

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'm just gonna sleep for twenty minutes.

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Speaker 1: How that? What howl? There's no way. I thought I

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Speaker 1: was going to sleep for two and a half hours. Like,

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Speaker 1: no way. But if I'm waking up, what time did

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Speaker 1: you wake up? If I'm waking up at five thirty

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna lay down for a snooze, I'm not

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Speaker 1: trusting that. I'm just gonna wake up in twenty minutes.

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Speaker 1: So I wake up fifteen minutes before we're supposed to

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Speaker 1: record the podcast, in a panic because I was like

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Speaker 1: just not prepared. I was just not and so I

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Speaker 1: am very um spaghetti brain right now. So it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be a good podcast. Tanya comes in. She was like,

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Speaker 1: do I look like I just woke up? And I

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Speaker 1: was like, yes, but maybe just because I know you.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's a friday, look freshmen, Yeah, thank you,

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Speaker 1: It's a friday before a holiday weekend. So you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna do some of these to my cheeks

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Speaker 1: and um, back in the game. A long week. It's

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Speaker 1: been an emotional week. It's been just a week there.

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Speaker 1: It was a very emotional week and it was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, the last podcast, which thank you all for

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Speaker 1: so much support and listening and messaging me. It was

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Speaker 1: very emotional and overwhelming. And then obviously the news and

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Speaker 1: what has happened at what happened in Texas, and it

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Speaker 1: just was there was this past week has been so heavy,

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Speaker 1: and hey, you know, I've seen more people talking about it,

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Speaker 1: like I think everyone is just absolutely fed up. And

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Speaker 1: Mark I, I can't even imagine with two daughters and

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Speaker 1: like them in school, how how enraged because I don't

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Speaker 1: have children, but I feel so angry about the situation

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Speaker 1: and like having conversations and seeing people talk about it

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Speaker 1: that are so insensitive, and I think it's just it's

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Speaker 1: been it's so devastating, and I can't stop thinking about

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Speaker 1: these families. And that day I felt like the tears

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Speaker 1: were always right there at the surface that whole day.

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Speaker 1: It's really, it is really hard. And then of course

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Speaker 1: my thirteen year old didn't want to go to school

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Speaker 1: that day and and she actually got COVID so that

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Speaker 1: worked out for her. Um, she's fine, by the way,

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Speaker 1: but she did actually, so she has not been back

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Speaker 1: to school since. But anyway, the point is, um that yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I think I'm hopeful. I'm always hopeful. I'm hopeful

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Speaker 1: that now is the time that we're going to tone

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Speaker 1: down the rhetoric a little bit, because, you know, politics

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Speaker 1: the past five six years has gotten kind of crazy.

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Speaker 1: The Democrats say that Republicans are pro school shooting, and

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Speaker 1: the Republicans say the Democrats are a bunch of baby killers,

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Speaker 1: and like it's okay, it's time to calm down and

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Speaker 1: stop all of that. No more Hitler comparisons, no more

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Speaker 1: Nazi cut comparison. Let's just talk and figure out the

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Speaker 1: way to do this. And it seems like, and I

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Speaker 1: don't know why, I'm hopefully after all these years, it

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Speaker 1: seems like there's a possibility that there's some common sense

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Speaker 1: stuff that everybody could agree to. I feel like I've

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Speaker 1: I'm less hopeful than I've ever been, um just because

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Speaker 1: of all the stuff that you know, everything's funded by

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Speaker 1: the n r A, and you know, there's all this

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Speaker 1: there's all this kind of back end bs to be

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Speaker 1: honest that I feel like controls things. That is disheartening

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Speaker 1: and sad. And I don't know, I've just been kind

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Speaker 1: of I've been really sad. I was like crying a

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Speaker 1: lot from the shootings because it's just like I get

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Speaker 1: really upset because I think everybody talks about it and

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Speaker 1: they post on social media, but nobody's like doing anything.

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Speaker 1: And I'm starting to get really fed up because nobody's

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Speaker 1: doing anything. So I mean, I'm trying to be proactive.

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Speaker 1: I signed up for these um these. I saw this

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Speaker 1: phone number going around that says like text the word

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Speaker 1: act and so they start sending you, you know, articles

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Speaker 1: and resources and things to sign and so I'm trying

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Speaker 1: to you know, I'm going to try and do my part,

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Speaker 1: but it's like that's also like, what's my part? You know?

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Speaker 1: I think that's kind of the conversation is obviously everyone's

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Speaker 1: upset and it's devastating, but it is kind of like

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Speaker 1: what is going to be the change? And I'm with you, Mark,

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Speaker 1: I almost feel a sense of a little more hope

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Speaker 1: because I'm seeing people talk about it and it's not political.

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Speaker 1: It's just like, what is the solution for this? Like

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Speaker 1: it's obviously this We've watched it happen over and over again,

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Speaker 1: like what was it ten days after the shooting in

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Speaker 1: the grocery store, and we read the headlines and we

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Speaker 1: just almost like for a second, turn our head away

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Speaker 1: because we're like another you know, it's like another one.

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Speaker 1: And I think you go to the movies and it's

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Speaker 1: like you're looking at the exits, like how where do

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Speaker 1: we go? And it's we're so almost like desensitized to

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Speaker 1: the reality of what's going on. And I don't think

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Speaker 1: I don't know what the solution is, but I I

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Speaker 1: have seen more people talking about it who maybe two

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Speaker 1: different sides of the political spectrum, and I just think

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Speaker 1: it's a political issue. I mean, it shouldn't be a

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Speaker 1: political issue anymore. And I think more people are starting

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Speaker 1: to realize, like the fact that sending our kids, sending

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Speaker 1: kids to school is scary for people right now. Is

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Speaker 1: is not how it's supposed to be. And I think

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Speaker 1: the conversations are going at least in the direction where

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Speaker 1: people are agreeing on a topic. Everything is a political

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Speaker 1: issue nowadays, and that also is sad, you know. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we had a virus that killed a million people in

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Speaker 1: this country and that became a political issue. I mean,

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Speaker 1: the Johnny Depp trial is apparently a political issue. It's

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Speaker 1: crazy that everything that comes up people immediately run to

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Speaker 1: one side or the other. And then if you aren't

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Speaker 1: specifically or like definitively on one side, that's also a

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Speaker 1: problem for people, like there's no win in it. And

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Speaker 1: so I think it's I mean, I had many conversations

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Speaker 1: about with different people that you know, we're talking about

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Speaker 1: being able to own a gun, and I'm like, listen,

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Speaker 1: I'm not anti gun. I think guns, when used properly,

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Speaker 1: protect us and save lives. But that's not what's happening

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Speaker 1: and why does any common citizen need to have easy

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Speaker 1: access to an automatic weapon? I'm not locked them up.

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Speaker 1: Who needs a gun? I think I agree with tany

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Speaker 1: But realistically, yes, realistically, if you if you won't have

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Speaker 1: a handgun, you're always been able to have a handgun

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Speaker 1: for protection in America. I know, I know it's not ideal.

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Speaker 1: Tony is rolling your eyes. I get that I'm never

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Speaker 1: gonna have one. And if you want to have a

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Speaker 1: hunting rifle, you're gonna be able to get a hunting roll.

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Speaker 1: But you're right, it's these assault weapons, these things that

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Speaker 1: can kill that are actually their only purpose is to

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Speaker 1: kill as many people as possible in a short amount

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Speaker 1: of time as possible. That's the only reason these weapons exist. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they don't think we can keep them out of people's hands.

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Speaker 1: We can do better than we're doing. And what why

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Speaker 1: was it it took I was thinking about this. It

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Speaker 1: was I was thinking, like what a background check looks like.

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Speaker 1: And the only thing I've I think I've had was

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Speaker 1: when I went on the Bachelor, and it was three

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Speaker 1: days of background checks, psychological testing, Like to go on

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Speaker 1: a reality TV show was harder to than to own

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Speaker 1: an automatic weapon. Like that does not make any sense

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Speaker 1: to me, and so I think it's just like something's backwards, man,

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Speaker 1: it's yeah. So most most importantly is the grieving of

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Speaker 1: these children and these two teachers, and now one of

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Speaker 1: the teacher husband died essentially from a broken heart and grief,

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Speaker 1: and there are four kids that they've left behind, and

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Speaker 1: it's just not fair. It's not fair. You know. They

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Speaker 1: woke up Tuesday morning and everything was fine, and they

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Speaker 1: were going to did their jobs in school and everything,

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Speaker 1: and then and two days, three days later, mom and

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Speaker 1: dad are gone. They didn't make the weekend. It's really

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Speaker 1: so wild. Yeah, So I just I just hope that

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Speaker 1: people can first have empathy and compassion for what's going

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Speaker 1: on and be angry about how this happened before they

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Speaker 1: get defensive about owning weapons. I know, like last week,

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Speaker 1: we had talked about having a Thursday episode, but it

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Speaker 1: just didn't feel appropriate or right because we were talking

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Speaker 1: about stuff that honestly does not matter um in comparison.

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Speaker 1: So I just wanted to acknowledge that and hope that

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Speaker 1: we can just do better as a whole and figure

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Speaker 1: out a solution without just always having to start an

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Speaker 1: argument or fight and I think that's just like there

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Speaker 1: has to be unity and like fixing a problem because

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Speaker 1: it is a problem. Um, so we're going to take

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Speaker 1: a break and we'll be right back. All right, we

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Speaker 1: are back, And what do you do? Oh? I went

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Speaker 1: to just shifting some gears. We're gonna we are shifting

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Speaker 1: some gears over here. Yes, what do we do? This week?

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Speaker 1: I went to Taco Tuesday. It was great. Becca came

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Speaker 1: like festively dressed, which I really appreciate because it's really

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Speaker 1: like we just make a bunch of tacos and we

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Speaker 1: call it Taco Tuesday because we do it on Tuesdays,

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Speaker 1: but it's not really like you know, themed party of sorts.

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Speaker 1: But I really appreciate the respect that Becca gave it

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Speaker 1: this week because she came fully dressed up, um for theme,

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Speaker 1: and she came ready to party. And I respect you

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Speaker 1: for that. I thought it was a thing, like I

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Speaker 1: thought it was like like I thought everyone's gonna be

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Speaker 1: was like dressed up ready for the night. So I

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Speaker 1: wanted my first time to be memorable. Memorable, memorable it

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Speaker 1: was because no, we don't dress up because it's like

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Speaker 1: a Tuesday, so normally like jeans and a tank top

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Speaker 1: or like sweats very low key. I'll know that for

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Speaker 1: next time. But you know what, it made me kind

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Speaker 1: of want to step up our game and like maybe

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Speaker 1: not make it so low key and like make it

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Speaker 1: a thing every Tuesday, because, you know what, we deserve

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Speaker 1: to have some fun on a Tuesday. I mean, it

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Speaker 1: was still fun, and it definitely was still a thing

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Speaker 1: on a Tuesday. I just was overdressed essentially, which is fine.

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Speaker 1: I posted videos of Becca and Red Star playing ping pong,

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Speaker 1: and everybody really really enjoyed that. Those really yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: they really want to know who won. So good. Uh,

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Speaker 1: Robbie is such a great ping pong player and he puts.

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Speaker 1: I would say I'm pretty competitive in the sense that

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Speaker 1: I can keep up with most people, and we did,

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Speaker 1: like we had one game that went like over time

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Speaker 1: for a while. Yeah, but um, he's so good and

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Speaker 1: it infuriates me, like it put spin on the ball,

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Speaker 1: so much spin. And he had these paddles. I've never

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Speaker 1: played with these paddles before, but we both had them,

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Speaker 1: so it wasn't like he had it and I didn't.

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Speaker 1: But I hated it puts. I could I literally couldn't

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Speaker 1: even hit it back and I was like this, can

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Speaker 1: we play with normal ping pong paddles? And see obviously

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Speaker 1: when he switched and didn't have the special formula, I

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Speaker 1: was closer in the game. But um, the way he

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Speaker 1: serves two is like so obnoxious, Like it's like a

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Speaker 1: whole wind up and like and he's like feet back

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Speaker 1: from the table, like it's so dramatic. So yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I just I'm hoping that playing him, I'll get better

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Speaker 1: and eventually be able to beat him. Because there was

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Speaker 1: one like he kept doing this serve and he was

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Speaker 1: like this is how this is the only way you

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Speaker 1: can return it, and he just told me what to

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Speaker 1: do and like immediately I caught on. So like I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm like quick enough to be able to

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Speaker 1: battle him, but it's so it takes me. I have

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Speaker 1: to like decompress after we played because I get so mad.

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Speaker 1: But um, yeah it was fun aside from losing. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but so glad you guys have each other to play

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Speaker 1: because I can't play him. I'm like, it's like it's

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Speaker 1: a joke. Tanya invited Michael, who um like years ago.

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Speaker 1: I don't even know if he ever. Did you ever

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Speaker 1: have like a nickname or anything? On the podcast. No,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, a few dates. Yeah, I went on

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Speaker 1: a few dates. I don't know, called him like New

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Speaker 1: York guy or something. Michael Garofolo. He's he was on

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Speaker 1: the Bachelor, on the Bachelor and Paradise, I think in Paradise.

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Speaker 1: But um, she was like, yeah, I invited Michael and

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Speaker 1: he's coming, and I was like, I love you. Also,

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Speaker 1: you went to Robbie's reunion and you invited his ex

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Speaker 1: or something that I totally did. Yeah. It's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: I just want we want our Taco Tuesdays just to

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Speaker 1: be kind of like an open door. So we want

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Speaker 1: to start like branching out because we always just have

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Speaker 1: like kind of the usual suspects, and we're like, we

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Speaker 1: just want to start inviting just more like random people

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Speaker 1: who want, like our friends to meet people. And Michael

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Speaker 1: Garoffalo's new to l A, the l A area, and

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Speaker 1: he and Robbie just like hit it off at Ben

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Speaker 1: and Jess's wedding weekend, and so he's been what he

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Speaker 1: always asks us to like hang out. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, we should invite him to Taco Tuesday, and

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Speaker 1: he like fully came. It was like so cute. Um,

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Speaker 1: he's such a nice guy. I'm all about like inviting

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Speaker 1: new people, but like, is it just like exclusively xs

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Speaker 1: or the new people like people you've both dated? Is

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Speaker 1: that the connect that I met at the reunion did

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Speaker 1: not come this week? I think she's gonna come next week.

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Speaker 1: But no, we're just gonna open it up to you.

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Speaker 1: We're just like not going to be um exclusive tory.

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Speaker 1: Is that a word? Nope, definitely not exclusive. I think

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Speaker 1: that's your word. Well, what's the tor one? I'm looking for?

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Speaker 1: Exclusion a tori exclusionary, exclusionary Okay, yeah, got there. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna be inclusive to whoever loves to come, got it correct?

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Speaker 1: So you never know, it's just every Tuesday, it's going

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Speaker 1: to be a different story. I want to find Michael

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Speaker 1: a great girl. He is so kind and handsome and

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Speaker 1: like successful. I'm like, we gotta find this man. I know.

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Speaker 1: I'm with you. Should we have him on the podcast? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: We should. I'd be down because I feel like a

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Speaker 1: scrubber would be so good for him. Yeah, contest, it's

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Speaker 1: like it's like a scrubbing and dating show because I

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Speaker 1: just feel like scrubbers are like the best in heart,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like that's what he that's what he

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Speaker 1: deserves and needs. We should have local scrubbers like submit themselves.

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Speaker 1: You guys can go through and pick your favorite three

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Speaker 1: and then we could do like a dating game on

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Speaker 1: the podcast. Okay, well, so we probably need his Uh,

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Speaker 1: they should be against his will. He should know what's

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Speaker 1: happening him. Just book him as a guess and just

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Speaker 1: tell him what we're doing. Like by the way we're

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Speaker 1: taking it upon ourselves, I think he would appreciate it, honestly. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he up. Yeah, I like that idea. Great idea, really

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Speaker 1: great idea. Becca. Becca is on her a game lately.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you she's a thinker. She is just

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Speaker 1: thinking I'm gonna do think. I think that, to be honest,

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Speaker 1: like ever since last living Yeah, I just feel like

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Speaker 1: a weight is lifted. But I didn't realize that. It

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Speaker 1: was like I didn't. We were so used to you know,

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Speaker 1: we we Haley and I were both talking about how

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Speaker 1: like it's so weird going to post stuff with each

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Speaker 1: other in it, being like, oh, yeah, we we were

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Speaker 1: doing this instead of like because normally I guess she's

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Speaker 1: in the background something. I'm like, oh, you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to post that or I'll reshoot it or whatever.

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Speaker 1: You can just go. I know. It's so it's weird,

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Speaker 1: like we're both adjusting to it still, like we're gonna

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Speaker 1: you share this? Is that okay? I know. I'm curious

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Speaker 1: to see how much you're going to post of each other,

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Speaker 1: Like now that the gate has opened, are you going

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Speaker 1: to just like is she going to be all over

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Speaker 1: the grid? Are you gonna keep it kind of like

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Speaker 1: the same you're always worried about the group? Yeah, which

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Speaker 1: I do. I want to get to in a second,

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Speaker 1: because I'm back on the grid. Oh yeah, Tommy is

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Speaker 1: back on the grid. No I um, yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: know that I'm gonna just like exploit our relationship. But

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Speaker 1: the difference exploiting and sharing, I think there's a difference. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I think when it makes sense, like if

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Speaker 1: there's a reason or like a cute photo and I'm

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Speaker 1: like this cute, I'm gonna throw it up on the grin,

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Speaker 1: then it goes up. But like stories and stuff I'm

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Speaker 1: saying like like last night we went out to eat

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Speaker 1: and she posted like a video of us, you know,

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Speaker 1: and she she posted it was like on her TikTok

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Speaker 1: and she was just like finally and it was just

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Speaker 1: like her looking at me and me looking you know,

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Speaker 1: it's just like things that were that we never did.

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Speaker 1: So it's been fascinating and I just have to reiterate

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Speaker 1: like how amazing the Scrubbers are and just it really

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Speaker 1: has blown my mind. And I'll forever be grateful for

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Speaker 1: the support and like them the kindness and like just

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00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:30,160
Speaker 1: rooting for really both you and I, both you and me,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just really great the next level and I

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Speaker 1: you know, what I also appreciate about the Scrubbers is

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Speaker 1: that they're not just super sweet and amazing, but they

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Speaker 1: always kind of like they show up with like a

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Speaker 1: little bit of like a twist because I love that

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Speaker 1: every like so many d ms that I got were

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Speaker 1: people and they would say crying with the E at

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Speaker 1: the end, so they like keep the jokes going, and

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Speaker 1: like I just love it's like we all have this,

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Speaker 1: we all have inside jokes that there's so many of them,

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Speaker 1: and I just I love that. I also really appreciate

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Speaker 1: like the on the more serious topics and having like

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Speaker 1: dms with Scrubbers is so I normally have such like respectful,

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00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,360
Speaker 1: productive conversations, and I think there's a sense of like

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00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:19,520
Speaker 1: feeling this sense of connection and friendship that um makes

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00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,000
Speaker 1: it different than just like a random person like in

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00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 1: my DMS, like being like mad or yelling at me.

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00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,360
Speaker 1: It's always something that comes from like a place where

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00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 1: I feel like it's not attacking, you know, like it

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00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,800
Speaker 1: never feels like an attack. And I just I'm very

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Speaker 1: grateful for the scrubbing in uh episode. Yeah, but listen.

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Speaker 1: Haley does not listen, like she is not a regular listener,

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Speaker 1: and so she texted me and she was like, UM,

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Speaker 1: I'm sitting in the car outside listening to the your podcast.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, so you only you only

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Speaker 1: listen when it's about you. She was like, uh, Robbie

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Speaker 1: listened to hed. He's not a listener. I'd tell him

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Speaker 1: not to, but he listened to that one. Yeah, I

349
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Speaker 1: think a lot. I mean it's also a major milestone,

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Speaker 1: so I can understand her wanting to hear that for sure. Yeah,

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00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,720
Speaker 1: she was like, you told all the story because I

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00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,800
Speaker 1: told her. I was like, I told some of the story,

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Speaker 1: but you know, I was gonna wait for you to

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Speaker 1: come on to have your version. And she listened to

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00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 1: it you like you told the whole story. And I

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00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,719
Speaker 1: was like, Haley is not a scrubber. She doesn't know

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Speaker 1: how long, like we can really go into some stories,

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00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:31,359
Speaker 1: some details, yeah, detail. Yeah, but she she came positioning

359
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:36,280
Speaker 1: and all the things. We're not doing that tongue positioning. Yeah,

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00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,960
Speaker 1: like when you first kissed. No we're not first. We're

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Speaker 1: definitely not doing that. A girl can dream, um, but yeah.

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Speaker 1: She she came in and she was still listening to

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00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,240
Speaker 1: it and it was one it was like the part

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Speaker 1: where we were saying how I think you were saying,

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Speaker 1: like how amazing of how patient Haley was with you,

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Speaker 1: and she got terry it again and she was like afterwards,

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Speaker 1: he was like, thank you for saying such nice things

368
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 1: about me. And I was like, it's like as if

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Speaker 1: I'm never nice or something. I was like, yeah, of course,

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Speaker 1: I was like, it's a true Then she was like,

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Speaker 1: I know, it's just nice to hear it. I'm sure though,

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00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: so sweet. Yeah. So it's been a whirlwind and I've

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Speaker 1: had so many kinds like text and messages from people

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Speaker 1: that you know, I haven't heard from in a long

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Speaker 1: time and actually wouldn't even know how they would respond

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Speaker 1: to it, you know. So it's been great. I'm very

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00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 1: thankful and um but moving on. You are back on

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Speaker 1: the grid. I'm back on the grid, baby, and I'm

379
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 1: feeling good. I'm flying high. Oh I was down low

380
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 1: and beck And just brought me up high and she

381
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,919
Speaker 1: brought me back up to the clouds. Cloud nine Baby.

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00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:57,480
Speaker 1: She posted this reel reels and it was to um

383
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,000
Speaker 1: Ellie Golden song Army, And there's just like videos of

384
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:05,400
Speaker 1: us just like friend moments and that. Oh it made

385
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,280
Speaker 1: me cry. It made me cry. It made me cry.

386
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,679
Speaker 1: It was so fun like going through video because I

387
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 1: just like went into my video app and then went

388
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,200
Speaker 1: back to two thousand and sixteen, which is when we

389
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:18,000
Speaker 1: met two thousand fifteen, but like became friends in two

390
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 1: thousand sixteen, and like seeing how many I mean, I

391
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 1: just had endless amounts of videos and photos and just

392
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:29,800
Speaker 1: it was so fun to see all the things that

393
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:34,520
Speaker 1: we've been through and what we've done together and be crazy.

394
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,159
Speaker 1: I don't know, I think maybe it was your birthday

395
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 1: or something. I was going through all of our old

396
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 1: videos to make a video, and I was just like

397
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 1: like looking at the videos from when we shared a

398
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 1: wall in that apartment complex. Those videos are so funny

399
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 1: because Rebecca's house literally looks like Grand Central Station, Like

400
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 1: it's just I don't know if that's the Red comparison.

401
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 1: It was like hundreds of people there. There's like wires everywhere.

402
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 1: She had like a coffee table, so just like a

403
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:07,119
Speaker 1: total mess in there, like a college dorm, but like

404
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,639
Speaker 1: worse like that. We ate lunch and we ate our

405
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 1: food on my herd ab dolly and like there was wires,

406
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 1: like the TV had like more wires than I've ever

407
00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:20,439
Speaker 1: seen in my life. And those videos are so funny

408
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 1: to me because we just we also look like trash,

409
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 1: like we just we hung out and just like just

410
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 1: And there's a part in the video where she says,

411
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,040
Speaker 1: um and I was drunken on all the nights, drunken

412
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 1: on the floor, and back up put a video of

413
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 1: me where I'm just like trashed and you can see

414
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 1: it like in my eyes. I was just gone, Yeah.

415
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 1: I wanted to get the point across that it was

416
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,639
Speaker 1: you weren't fact drunk on the floor. Yea. So I

417
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:46,640
Speaker 1: really enjoyed that, And thank you to all the scrubbers

418
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 1: who messaged me. Um I am. I did cry and

419
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 1: it did make my day and thank you. They said

420
00:23:55,040 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: it was a long overdue, so thank you. I told you.

421
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 1: I was like, Tany was like and then of course

422
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 1: after I post the real, Ali text me and she's like,

423
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,959
Speaker 1: where's my real And I'm like, it's one thing at

424
00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 1: a time, and I do want to point out. And

425
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 1: when you're in your little caption, you wrote friend not best. Yeah,

426
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:20,000
Speaker 1: we're just gonna let that one slide. Well, I guess

427
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:24,199
Speaker 1: we're not. It sounds like we're not gonna let it

428
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,399
Speaker 1: point that one out, point point point. Yeah, it's already

429
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,480
Speaker 1: been pointed out. I did see it, and I had

430
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 1: the option to change it. But a friend is a friend,

431
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:36,040
Speaker 1: is a friend for life, and I think having out

432
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 1: of having to have best in front of it really,

433
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,280
Speaker 1: because then if I were to say, when I said

434
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 1: my best friend's wedding under JoJo's a problem putting best

435
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 1: friend's wedding under Joe, I said, yours also would say

436
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 1: my best friend's wedding. Because once I have exited elementary school,

437
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:56,080
Speaker 1: my my world became I can have multiple best friends.

438
00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:01,040
Speaker 1: And um, this is a controversial, controversial topic actually, because

439
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:04,119
Speaker 1: some people think best friend is reserved for one person.

440
00:25:04,359 --> 00:25:05,920
Speaker 1: I don't think it's reserved for one, but I would

441
00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,080
Speaker 1: think that my caption would say best friends. I said

442
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,440
Speaker 1: so many other nice things, and that's what you take

443
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 1: away from that. It just was something. I was like,

444
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 1: interesting choice. It's like, wonder the thought that went behind that.

445
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,320
Speaker 1: But I appreciated the rest of the message. I cried, Yeah,

446
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,680
Speaker 1: but I think that if if you live your life

447
00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 1: that way, always picking out the bad things and things,

448
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: you're you're never going to be happy. But talk my therapist. Okay,

449
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 1: is that is something I'm working on. Let me tell

450
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 1: you Mama knows her flaws and that I do do that,

451
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 1: so that is something. But you know, as my best friend,

452
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 1: you should know that about me and just step up

453
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: your game. Okay, Wow, you asked for photos. I gave

454
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,959
Speaker 1: you a full montage. I'm totally joking. I'm joking. I

455
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 1: love you. Okay. On that note, should we do some emails? Well,

456
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 1: let's take a break first, we'll come back. Okay. This

457
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 1: is Paris Hilton. This week on the This is Paris podcast,

458
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 1: NICKI and I will be joined by Anna Delby. You

459
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: may think you know her from inventing Anna on Netflix.

460
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 1: Get to know the real Anna. Is she a con

461
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:27,280
Speaker 1: artist and a fraudster or risk taking entrepreneur and audacious?

462
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 1: Wanted that love her or hate her, We're all curious.

463
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 1: The real heiress is sit down with the fake heiress

464
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 1: right now on This is Paris. Listen to This is

465
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 1: Paris now wherever you listen to podcasts. All right, we

466
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:48,159
Speaker 1: are back and Mark is going to take on the emails.

467
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 1: Thank you very much. It's from anonymous. So I was

468
00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: dating a guy for three months. It was going great.

469
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:54,439
Speaker 1: We both said we love each other and see a

470
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,639
Speaker 1: future with each other. I met his kids. Backstory. He

471
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 1: has a career with the military and just gotta signed

472
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 1: to a new u it. He's insanely busy. But a

473
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,520
Speaker 1: week ago we talked on the phone and he said

474
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 1: he needs to hit pause on our relationship to try

475
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,600
Speaker 1: to get things under control. He doesn't have enough hours

476
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,199
Speaker 1: in the day to do everything he needs, and he

477
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 1: feels like he's neglecting me, his kids, his self care, etcetera,

478
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 1: and that his kids have to come first, which I understand.

479
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 1: He said he still sees the future with me slash us,

480
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 1: and he doesn't want to drag me along when he

481
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 1: can't devote the time slash energy that a relationship needs.

482
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 1: The last thing he said before ending of the call

483
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: was I do love you. My question is how do

484
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:30,639
Speaker 1: we take this? Do I just need to be patient

485
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:32,359
Speaker 1: with him? Should I reach out to him or let

486
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,920
Speaker 1: him initiate? Do you think that it's just him being

487
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:36,880
Speaker 1: busy or was he just saying that did not hurt

488
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: my feelings? Do you think there's a chance we could

489
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:43,840
Speaker 1: get back together. I feel like this is kind of

490
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,359
Speaker 1: a good one for you to answer. Well, yeah, I

491
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 1: mean the military element throws a different you know, I'm

492
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 1: not there's a different element into it, because I do

493
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: think that is very consuming and it's it's different than

494
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 1: other careers. You know, people say they're busy with work

495
00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:02,240
Speaker 1: and kids. It's one thing. When you the you know,

496
00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 1: the military in there, I feel like that is very

497
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 1: all consuming. So um, but I will say I think

498
00:28:10,240 --> 00:28:14,160
Speaker 1: that love is patient. That's the first thing that they

499
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 1: say about love, like love is patient, And I think

500
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 1: that is I always come back to that because when

501
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 1: Red Star and I first started dating, I was ready

502
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,439
Speaker 1: for all the things, Like it was just like I

503
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 1: was ready to be married years ago, and you know,

504
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: like I could have escalated our relationship from zero to

505
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: a hundred fast. And I was doing those things, um,

506
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 1: and he was in a different phase of his life.

507
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 1: He was, you know, starting a brand new life with

508
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: two with two kids, and so he had to have

509
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 1: a different pace and a different mindset. And so I

510
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 1: think that I've had to practice patients in my relationship throughout.

511
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 1: And then when we you know, when we had that

512
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 1: time where we were broken up, Um, he did reach

513
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 1: out to me, so like I did. I don't want

514
00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:01,800
Speaker 1: to say, like, let him come to you, but I

515
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: think I was. I had the mindset of, like, I know,

516
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 1: this is my guy. I don't know why we're broken up.

517
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,120
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on, so it's confused. But

518
00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 1: I wasn't reaching out to him because I also felt

519
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,880
Speaker 1: like I wanted to give him that space to not

520
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: have me and see what that felt like too. So, UM,

521
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:22,520
Speaker 1: I just would encourage you and just remind you, like

522
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: love is patient, is a you know, very I find

523
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 1: it to be so interesting, or it is like love

524
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 1: his patient, love is kind, love is all these things,

525
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 1: but the first word is patient because you never think

526
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 1: of love as patient. Like when you think about love,

527
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 1: you think about like romance, and all the things. You

528
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,720
Speaker 1: never think of the word patient, and I think that

529
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 1: you know, it's there for a reason, and I just

530
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 1: think I don't think he would. I don't know him,

531
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 1: but I don't think people say things they don't mean,

532
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 1: So I would take what he says to heart, but

533
00:29:55,840 --> 00:30:01,920
Speaker 1: also kind of lean into you're life and what you've

534
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 1: got going on. Don't wait for him, but also hold

535
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:10,400
Speaker 1: out hope if that's what you want. Yeah, I'm torn.

536
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: I'm like I I've seen it happen with Tania, and

537
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:19,480
Speaker 1: so I part of me is like, you know, don't

538
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,600
Speaker 1: like move on so fast. But the other part of

539
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 1: me that I would, that I was telling Tanya during

540
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,480
Speaker 1: that time was like take care of yourself and like

541
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 1: do what you need to do, and like take care

542
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 1: of your heart and live your life, and don't wait

543
00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 1: around for someone who isn't sure about you, because I

544
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 1: would never you know, I was always telling Tania like,

545
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 1: we would never tell someone to wait around for someone

546
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,800
Speaker 1: who's not sure about them. But if he's I respect

547
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 1: him for wanting to put his kids first, but it's

548
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 1: also like you deserve to be put first too, So

549
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 1: if if there's a you know, if you can find

550
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 1: peace with moving on and and maybe at a certain

551
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 1: time things happen and you'll come back together. That would

552
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:03,600
Speaker 1: be great, But part of me says, like you can

553
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 1: still love each other and decide to do us best

554
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 1: for you that maybe doesn't involve him. And also not

555
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 1: waiting around is different because remember I, like I try

556
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 1: to go on that FaceTime date with that one guy.

557
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 1: Well it was just a weird time because it was

558
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,880
Speaker 1: kind of pandemic, So I didn't really have a desire

559
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 1: to be like locking lips with strangers. Yeah we're going

560
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 1: on dates. No, but it's like you can try, but

561
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:26,640
Speaker 1: if you're not in it, your heart is not ready,

562
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: then like it's not waiting around, but you don't have

563
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: to date other people. I think you can work on yourself,

564
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 1: but not be like waiting around for him, like be

565
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:42,440
Speaker 1: open to other possibilities and not just because ultimately, what

566
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 1: happens if you wait around and then he's never ready,

567
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: like you're you're just waiting for nothing. Is There's a

568
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,280
Speaker 1: phrase we've said before on this show that I go

569
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: back to you a lot lately. There was no such

570
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 1: thing as too busy. There's only a matter of priorities.

571
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: Now that does not mean his priorities are not legitimate.

572
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,160
Speaker 1: In fact, they're streaming legitimate, the military and his children.

573
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: But you deserve to be with someone for whom you

574
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 1: can be a priority. So I don't think this is

575
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: worth sticking around for. I really don't. I think you

576
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 1: move on. If it's meant to happen, it will happen.

577
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 1: You cannot fight the universe in that way. If it's

578
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 1: going to happen, he's going to realize what he has

579
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: in you, and he's going to figure it out. But

580
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:21,000
Speaker 1: he's got a lot going on and you need to

581
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 1: you need to, you need to move I think you

582
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 1: need to move on. I think that, uh, this isn't

583
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 1: the right time. Yeah, And you know what, Tanya did

584
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: give Robbie the space, and then when they got back together,

585
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:35,560
Speaker 1: like there was such a shift where there was like

586
00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 1: this moment where Tanya was like at the forefront and

587
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 1: he was really making sure like he he knew her

588
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:45,680
Speaker 1: value when she was not in his life for that

589
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 1: amount of time. I think he recognized how much she

590
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 1: brought into his life. And I think either your guys

591
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 1: are gonna have that moment and he's going to be

592
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 1: like I I'm going to prioritize you, and I'm gonna

593
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 1: make it happen. I'm going to make the time or

594
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:02,520
Speaker 1: he's going to say, you know, I realized I'm living

595
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:05,320
Speaker 1: this life and I'm not. I feel more free without

596
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 1: you here. But you know what's interesting what a lot

597
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: of people said to me when I started dating Red

598
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 1: Star was that, you know, oh, dating guy with kids,

599
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 1: you're you're never his top priority, just like get used

600
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:18,000
Speaker 1: to never being his top priority. And it's interesting because

601
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 1: I always was like, you know, I'm fine, I have

602
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 1: a lot of friends, have a full life. I don't

603
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:24,640
Speaker 1: you know, I don't necessarily need to be anybody's top priority,

604
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 1: you know, like if his kids are, um, But I don't.

605
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 1: I don't think that's the case, because I do think

606
00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 1: there was this shift where now I feel like it's

607
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 1: me and his kids are kind of on the same Yeah.

608
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 1: But but but people are so about the ranking, like

609
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 1: it's always like you're gonna come second to the kids,

610
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't feel like it's that

611
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: at all. Like I feel like he and I are

612
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 1: a team and we both look after each other and

613
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 1: the kids, you know what I mean, Like it's not

614
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,920
Speaker 1: this this thing that I think people have a different

615
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 1: perception of that, and I think the thing is meeting

616
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 1: the needs of both you and his kids. Think he

617
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:02,840
Speaker 1: does a really great job of doing that for both

618
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 1: of you, and sometimes you might need more, sometimes the

619
00:34:05,200 --> 00:34:06,760
Speaker 1: kids and I might need more, and he has to,

620
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:10,560
Speaker 1: you know, balance that. But um, I agree. I mean,

621
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: I think I was one of those people who was like,

622
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 1: it's gonna be hard for you to feel number one

623
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 1: in a relationship where there's kids involved, And I think

624
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:21,360
Speaker 1: Robbie has proven that wrong in the sense that he

625
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:26,479
Speaker 1: prioritizes both you and his kids. So all that to say,

626
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: I think that you have to do what's best for

627
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,359
Speaker 1: you without feeling like you're just waiting around for him.

628
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 1: I don't think that's like healthy for anyone's like mental

629
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:47,879
Speaker 1: like mental health. Yeah, alright, this one's from anonymous as well,

630
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:49,840
Speaker 1: and it's kind of a similar thing. Do you believe

631
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,640
Speaker 1: in right person, wrong time? That's a nice segue from

632
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 1: the last one, which was kind of similar. She says

633
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:57,000
Speaker 1: she's been any guy four months. He checked off every

634
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,360
Speaker 1: box she had. I really liked him, but he's starting

635
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,000
Speaker 1: a new job and I'm moving to a new state

636
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:03,399
Speaker 1: to start grad school. A month and a half later,

637
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 1: I'm in my new state. I start dating a new guy.

638
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 1: He treats me super well, makes me feel super secure

639
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,600
Speaker 1: when it's feelings towards me in the way the first

640
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 1: guy never did. But he doesn't check off one big

641
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 1: box that's really important to my family and me. I

642
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 1: can't help but compare him to the first guy. Is

643
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,720
Speaker 1: he treats me like a queen? A good enough reason

644
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:25,719
Speaker 1: for dating someone. I wish she would have said, what

645
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 1: the big boxes? I interpret that as a religions too,

646
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: so let's go with that. But either way, she's got

647
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 1: this guy burd in the hand treats her great missing

648
00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 1: a box. The other guy who has checked every box,

649
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 1: although he didn't make her feel secure about his feelings

650
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 1: for her, which I think is a box that is

651
00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 1: left unchecked. Boxes are for the birds. Okay, So I'm

652
00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 1: gonna take your boxes and turn him into bird feeders

653
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: and give him out to the hummingbirds in your backyard

654
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,840
Speaker 1: because that's where they belong. Get out of the bad box.

655
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:06,680
Speaker 1: You're right, Tanya, You're a great example of this because

656
00:36:06,719 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 1: if you had held Robbie up to the checkboxes, the

657
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 1: checklist that you thought you had in your mind, you

658
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 1: would not be with him today. No way. The same

659
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:21,400
Speaker 1: with me, And seriously like it. I had multiple list

660
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:25,240
Speaker 1: of the man that I was going to marry and

661
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 1: they were so specific, and I even feel like some

662
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 1: of the guys that I dated had all those qualities

663
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 1: and there was still something there was an there was

664
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:42,920
Speaker 1: a box not even listed that wasn't being checked and um,

665
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,080
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things with Haley, Like if I

666
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:48,399
Speaker 1: looked at that listing compared, it's like there's a lot

667
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,919
Speaker 1: of we have a lot of differences, but there's other

668
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,640
Speaker 1: things that I never even put on my list that

669
00:36:54,040 --> 00:37:00,040
Speaker 1: are checked off. And I think that that mentality is

670
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:02,760
Speaker 1: just kind of put put you in your own box

671
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 1: to where you miss out on opportunities to be in

672
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 1: a beautiful, great, healthy relationship because it doesn't write match

673
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:12,680
Speaker 1: something on a piece of paper. Yeah, Like, I think

674
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:15,480
Speaker 1: we're talking about this earlier. If I let's say I

675
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:19,240
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, I always wanted to marry Christian man,

676
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,320
Speaker 1: so I only went on Christian Mingle. That was the

677
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,800
Speaker 1: only dating app I ever tried. I would have never

678
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:27,680
Speaker 1: ever met my boyfriend ever. He would not have been

679
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 1: on Christian would not have been on Christian mingle, and

680
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 1: there's something in our relationship that's very undeniably meant to be,

681
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 1: Like it's like there's this chemistry, there's this familiar like

682
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 1: he's my home, you know, and like that you can't

683
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:44,480
Speaker 1: put a box on that. You just can't think from

684
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 1: this email is how do you feel? You don't talk

685
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 1: about your feelings at all, and I think that's really important,

686
00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,919
Speaker 1: is how do you feel about each of them? Because

687
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 1: I think that's what should win. Also, I noticed the

688
00:37:56,239 --> 00:38:00,720
Speaker 1: box that isn't checked as very important to my family

689
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 1: and me, and I think sometimes we take on the

690
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: expectation of our family and like, you know, what we're

691
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:11,160
Speaker 1: expected to do in their opinion. And I think sometimes

692
00:38:11,160 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 1: there's a way of like respecting your family and then

693
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 1: still doing what's best for you because eventually you're going

694
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,240
Speaker 1: to be an individual who is on your own making

695
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 1: a life with someone else. And so I also would

696
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: take that into consideration too. If it's important to you,

697
00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:31,359
Speaker 1: that's I am fully stand by that. But if you're like,

698
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 1: this is my family, you know, there's something to navigate

699
00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 1: there too. I think do some imagination works and that's

700
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:42,919
Speaker 1: something I used to do and still do sometimes about

701
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,279
Speaker 1: different things in life. Is just imagine imagine raising kids

702
00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 1: with one of them. Imagine raising kids with the other one.

703
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:50,239
Speaker 1: Imagine living with one of them. Imagine living with the

704
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: other one. And this is the big one for me,

705
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:56,919
Speaker 1: imagine your life without that person, completely, living separate lives.

706
00:38:56,920 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 1: They're dating someone else, you're dating someone else. And do

707
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 1: it for both of them, and I think you'll realize

708
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 1: which your heart is pulling you toward. We didn't do

709
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 1: a Taylor Slift song for the first one, but Taylor

710
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,080
Speaker 1: Slift song for this one. I'm gonna say that's the

711
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:15,880
Speaker 1: way I loved you. Oh my god, the moment I

712
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:21,279
Speaker 1: knew but she is no Okay, treacherous. Oh that's a

713
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 1: good one, Tanya, thank you, thank you so much. What

714
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:28,719
Speaker 1: about the first one, which is the one where he

715
00:39:28,800 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 1: needs space? Um? Hello is love? Oh I can't get

716
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 1: better than that? Sorry? All right then, I'm not going

717
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 1: to argue with you, all right? And also keep emailing us.

718
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 1: Make sure you're emailing us at scrubbing in at iHeart

719
00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 1: media dot com for just absolute wisdom and advice. Um.

720
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,239
Speaker 1: Also on Thursday, we have at Greg Tarzan Davis and

721
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,760
Speaker 1: he is from Gray's anatomy. He's in the new Top

722
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,839
Speaker 1: Gun movie, and I am so excited to talk to him.

723
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: So the Gray's cast member in the O R to

724
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 1: try to kiss Bailey, is it? Yeah, he like he

725
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:16,120
Speaker 1: came into the he moved like from where Meredith was

726
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:20,959
Speaker 1: doing all her Yeah, and then he like is infatuated

727
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,359
Speaker 1: with he was like infatuated with Bailey. Um, but I'm

728
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,760
Speaker 1: really excited to talk to him. And he's a Louisiana native,

729
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 1: so Becca's gonna immediate connection. She's gonna feel like a

730
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:36,800
Speaker 1: Kindred Kindred connect connection. Um. But on that note, I

731
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 1: hope everyone has a great holiday, and we love you

732
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:47,560
Speaker 1: and we love you a lot. Stay safe, Stay safe,