1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:09,240 Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone, 2 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:13,800 Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast, as we all know, 3 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,439 Speaker 1: is about the choices we make and where they lead us. 4 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: This is a good day. My guest today has a 5 00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:26,120 Speaker 1: long list of accolades to her name and is truly 6 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: someone that has blazed her own non traditional trail in Hollywood. 7 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 1: She's an actor, a director, a writer, and impressively a 8 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:40,680 Speaker 1: PhD holder, I mean, come on. Known for her roles 9 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 1: in the nineties eighteen show Blossom and her long run 10 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: on The Big Bang Theory that she received four Emmy 11 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 1: nominations for, she is the host of her podcast, Myam 12 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: Bioli's Breakdown. Please welcome Myam bolic to the I Choose 13 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 1: Me podcast. 14 00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:58,279 Speaker 2: Hi. 15 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 1: Hi, so good to see you. 16 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 2: Good to see you. 17 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: Thanks for coming on the show. 18 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 2: Thanks for having me. 19 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,479 Speaker 1: Okay, racking my brain? 20 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 2: Yes? 21 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,160 Speaker 1: Where did we work together? 22 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:12,200 Speaker 2: Is this right? Hold on? 23 00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 1: Let me just as if this might be completely wrong, 24 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:18,319 Speaker 1: so embarrassing. Did you walk the high wire? 25 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 2: No? 26 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 1: In Circus of the Stars. 27 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 2: I can already say no. I did the double I 28 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,080 Speaker 2: did the double cradle in Circus of the Stars. The 29 00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 2: double Cradle is like a trapeze, but there's no trapeze 30 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 2: bar two people. Okay, I did that. It was like 31 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,000 Speaker 2: the year that, like like Mario Lopez. 32 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 1: Was, see I was on that year you did. 33 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 2: I think regular trapeze. 34 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 1: Yes, I knew you did something that was nerve wracking, 35 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 1: and now I know. 36 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 2: I mean I was. I don't even know. Gosh, I 37 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,000 Speaker 2: don't even know if I was on Blossom yet. I 38 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 2: think that was after Beaches. And then we were at 39 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,880 Speaker 2: a benefit together for an organization that is near and 40 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 2: dear to your heart. So I remember that, and then 41 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,160 Speaker 2: I think we would like see each other randomly at 42 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 2: certain things. But there's that sort of like you know, 43 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 2: we're both young people on television. 44 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:13,080 Speaker 1: No right, sure, yeah, we go way back. But wait, 45 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 1: how about does this ring a bell? Cupcake wars? 46 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 2: I did it? Were you there? We're the worst? 47 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: Yes, this is the problem. 48 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,880 Speaker 2: My brain did not want to summon that. 49 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 1: Come on, I got voted out first, so you can 50 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,639 Speaker 1: go ahead and summon it. 51 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 2: Maybe that's why I put it out of my I 52 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,200 Speaker 2: put it out of my mind. It was too painful, 53 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 2: the thought of you being sent away. 54 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:42,919 Speaker 1: Oh man, I think I think maybe Melby was on 55 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 1: our episode too. 56 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,560 Speaker 2: Oh, how long time ago? And I feel like she 57 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 2: was in like a fancy coat. 58 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:53,359 Speaker 1: That's just all the time for mel So this. 59 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 2: Was a very long time ago. 60 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,560 Speaker 1: I am racking our brain. Good job though, Yeah, yeah, 61 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 1: you know, I have a feeling. 62 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 2: You may have had help from researcher be Attle. 63 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,400 Speaker 1: Okay, well, I just let me fill you in on 64 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 1: a little data about yourself in case you've forgotten that too. Okay, 65 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: you grew up in front of the camera. You started 66 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: acting when you were like eleven, right, and by the 67 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 1: time you were a teenager you had your own prime 68 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: time sell Yeah. 69 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, I was fourteen when Blossom started. 70 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: That's young. We both know, you know, it can be 71 00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: so hard to navigate figuring out who we are at 72 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: your age. Add you know entertainment industry into that, yep, 73 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 1: with somebody always telling us where to go, what to do, 74 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: like everything. 75 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 2: I mean, look, I mean I think yes, And I remember, 76 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 2: you know, still feeling a lot like a kid when 77 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:52,080 Speaker 2: I was on Blossom, meaning for those first years. You know, 78 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:57,200 Speaker 2: the pressures then were different than they are now. First 79 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 2: of all, meaning as much as all of what you 80 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 2: said is true, we also weren't expected to sort of 81 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 2: look like adults at fifteen. We weren't expected to have 82 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 2: like the manicures, the filler. We didn't have publicists, we 83 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 2: didn't have social media. We weren't you know. It was 84 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:19,919 Speaker 2: a different kind of presentation. And also I will say that, 85 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 2: you know, I mean I watched you like that was 86 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,920 Speaker 2: my favorite show when I was on Blossom was your show. 87 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 2: And so I also remember, like, gosh, that's a show 88 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 2: with a whole different kind of pressure for the performers 89 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 2: because it was a show about like beautiful people. It 90 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,479 Speaker 2: was like a soap opera level in terms of like 91 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:43,240 Speaker 2: intensity and relationships, whereas like I was on a four camera, 92 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,599 Speaker 2: you know, family kind of show. So it was a 93 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 2: different kind of pressure. But I looked up to you 94 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:53,200 Speaker 2: and Shannon and Tori, like these are like the grown 95 00:04:53,279 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 2: up girls, you know. I was like still like I 96 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 2: still felt like a kid in a lot of ways. 97 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 2: I wasn't doing you know, kind of a high school drama. 98 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,160 Speaker 2: It was very different. 99 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:06,479 Speaker 1: I mean, that makes perfect sense. Yeah, it was different. 100 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,920 Speaker 1: But what age do you feel like you really came 101 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,040 Speaker 1: into your own like. 102 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,719 Speaker 2: Skin still waiting, still waiting for me. 103 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: It was like my late thirties, I started to like 104 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 1: really get a crass I'm. 105 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 2: Trying to think. I mean, I'm I'm forty nine now 106 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 2: and still in some ways feel fourteen. You know, still 107 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,200 Speaker 2: would like to eat chocolate first thing in the morning, 108 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,480 Speaker 2: like if there's no grown ups around, I still want 109 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:40,279 Speaker 2: to live like that. You know. I had my first 110 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,799 Speaker 2: child at twenty nine, and then I had my second 111 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 2: at you know, thirty two, thirty three somewhere in there, 112 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,800 Speaker 2: so you know, my thirties felt like a different kind 113 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 2: of kind of stressful. You know, it felt like, Okay, 114 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,359 Speaker 2: this is everything you're told is going to make life amazing, 115 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:01,719 Speaker 2: Like be a mom, Like it's gonna be amazing, Like 116 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 2: get married and you'll be married forever, and then your 117 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 2: kids will be like so much fun. And meanwhile, like 118 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 2: they're much more cognitive, far earlier than I expected, like 119 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 2: a lot of effort. 120 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 1: You know, yea, they are their own people. I don't 121 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 1: know how that. 122 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 2: Happen, correct, And like the sense of humor, but a 123 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:24,720 Speaker 2: sense of agency that was kind of surprising. So yeah, 124 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 2: I don't know. I really feel like, like if you 125 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 2: had to ask me, I don't know that. I feel 126 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 2: like I've sort of become comfortable and I'm I'm an 127 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 2: early to menopause member of the party, you. 128 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: Know, like, that's that's you. 129 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 2: You know, well, I guess. But I also was then 130 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,240 Speaker 2: raised on this next level myth that we're told in 131 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 2: our thirties and forties, like you're gonna have the best 132 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:49,159 Speaker 2: sex of your life in your forties and you're going 133 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 2: to finally feel like you're wise. And I'm like, no, 134 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,159 Speaker 2: I just still feel kind of strange. And it's a 135 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 2: different kind of hormonal because now they're like, oh, guess 136 00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:01,679 Speaker 2: what menopause is forever and sometimes you'll get a period 137 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 2: after not having one. It's just weird. 138 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,039 Speaker 1: So all the hits, the hits keep on coming, hits. 139 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 2: Age coming, the hits keep coming. 140 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true. It's true. We talk a lot about 141 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 1: this on the podcast, that life is so interesting, how 142 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 1: like simple decisions or even what we may feel like 143 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: are meaningless choices, how they can lead us to spectacular 144 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 1: things that end up changing our lives. Do you believe 145 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: in fate or destiny or do you think things just 146 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: sort of happen by chance? 147 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 2: Oh gosh, you know, I don't you know. I think 148 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 2: of those things like the way you like study them 149 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 2: in school. Right, like, oh, there was a group of 150 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 2: people who believe that God had ordained everything and that 151 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 2: nothing you did matter. So I'm definitely not in that camp. 152 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 2: And I also am not in the other camp. But 153 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,120 Speaker 2: like everything just happened and blah blah blah. I do 154 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 2: think that there's you know, some sort of I guess 155 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 2: path or intention that every life has. But I also 156 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,280 Speaker 2: do believe in free will, you know, I believe in 157 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 2: all of the choices that we make are still ours 158 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,360 Speaker 2: to make. And I think that the mystical, spiritual part 159 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:15,640 Speaker 2: of me believes that whatever happens is what was supposed 160 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:22,600 Speaker 2: to happen, even if it's sad, painful, you know, devastating, astonishing. 161 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,560 Speaker 2: And to me, what that means is, how do I 162 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 2: receive that with some sort of grace and dignity and not, 163 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 2: you know, kind of lose whatever center I'm trying to 164 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 2: hold on to every time something doesn't go my way. 165 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:41,439 Speaker 1: That makes sense, I've always been sort of faithless. 166 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 2: Way, how's that working for you? 167 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,080 Speaker 1: Well, it wasn't working for me at all. I Mean 168 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:49,920 Speaker 1: there were times in my life where I'm like, I'm 169 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: an agnostic. I don't know, you know, I just don't know, 170 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,920 Speaker 1: and I'm a visual like I need to see things 171 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,200 Speaker 1: to believe them and learn them. And so for me, 172 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,720 Speaker 1: it was a very like I couldn't come the terms 173 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: with just blindly having faith in something. I mean, how 174 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,280 Speaker 1: do you feel about that? 175 00:09:11,679 --> 00:09:16,079 Speaker 2: You know? I was raised in you know, I was 176 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:21,199 Speaker 2: raised in a particular tradition that taught me that if 177 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 2: something is divine, it's so enormous that you can't even 178 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 2: understand it. And I'm grateful for that because I was 179 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 2: sort of spoon fed this notion of faith that goes 180 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 2: hand in hand with an inability to comprehend it. And 181 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 2: so that goes along with like the rules that I 182 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 2: want to use to observe it, they don't apply. And 183 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 2: that's not just a cheap way out, I promise. I'm 184 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 2: not just like God is. God is, and if you 185 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 2: don't feel it, like sucks for you. But as a scientist, 186 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 2: you know, I studied science. It's what I live for, 187 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 2: you know, decades of my life. And once once you're 188 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 2: trained as a scientist, that's sort of how my framework is. 189 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 2: You know. My kids say I'm cheating when I say 190 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 2: that I'm a person of faith because I don't have 191 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 2: like the old man in the sky. I don't have that, 192 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:13,640 Speaker 2: like just trust in God and pray to God for 193 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 2: the best parking spot. That's not the kind of relationship 194 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 2: I have with something divine. But if you believe that 195 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,600 Speaker 2: the sun will come up tomorrow, then you and I 196 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,720 Speaker 2: have the exact same faith. Like that's it. It's that simple. 197 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,240 Speaker 2: For me. I don't have to understand gravity for it 198 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,840 Speaker 2: to keep me on the planet. I don't have to 199 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 2: believe that. You know, if I hold a ball from 200 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 2: the top of a building and I drop it, I 201 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 2: know like that ball's going to fall. Now, are there 202 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 2: places in the universe and the galaxy where that's not true. 203 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,680 Speaker 2: I'm certain of that, and I believe that we'll either 204 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 2: grasp those equations or we won't. But for me, my 205 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:56,760 Speaker 2: faith that the sun will come up tomorrow is that's 206 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:01,480 Speaker 2: divine to me. That's you know, the I can't look 207 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 2: at that and not feel completely floored, completely floored by 208 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:11,319 Speaker 2: the impossibility of how things work and I don't control them. 209 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 2: And you know that's also the thing is like, you know, 210 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 2: having for me, having belief is saying I don't have 211 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,560 Speaker 2: to fix everything. I'm not that powerful, you know, even 212 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 2: over people places and things that I'd like to believe 213 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,880 Speaker 2: that I'm powerful over. I'm really not that powerful. 214 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 1: No, none of us are. We like to think we are. 215 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 1: I mean some of us. 216 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,599 Speaker 2: Do, yeah, for sure, while people make a career of it. 217 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:45,959 Speaker 1: Yeah. Your podcast, my biolex Breakdown, really good title appropriate. Yeah, 218 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: breaking down all the time. It's about it's all about 219 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:53,720 Speaker 1: mental health, which I love. Yeah, it's It's fascinating to 220 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,560 Speaker 1: me and it always has been. And I always thought 221 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:59,200 Speaker 1: if I wasn't an actress, I would have definitely gone 222 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 1: that route in college. I recently had Oliver Hudson on 223 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,320 Speaker 1: the podcast, and we've talked about the fact that all 224 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 1: of my life I've been told I'm too emotional or 225 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:13,079 Speaker 1: been called out for being emotional, and it's always been 226 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,920 Speaker 1: such a negative thing for me. Like I've always it 227 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 1: didn't ever feel good. And it wasn't until you know, 228 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 1: my like thirties that I found my voice and I 229 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: started correcting people and saying, you know what, I'm not emotional, 230 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: I'm emotion full. Ooh you got a problem with that, 231 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,320 Speaker 1: then you can go on. But for me, I just 232 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,240 Speaker 1: was like I got to take that because I believe 233 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,040 Speaker 1: that it's a it's a superpower of mine. 234 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:44,080 Speaker 2: Well, I think, yeah, it's definitely something that comes up 235 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:48,360 Speaker 2: a lot on our podcast. This sort of like again, 236 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,000 Speaker 2: I think, you know, I have a nineteen and a 237 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 2: sixteen year old and they've been raised in a completely 238 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 2: different culture where they don't have the same fears of 239 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,720 Speaker 2: being let's say, too sensitive. I mean, of course it's 240 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 2: a awareness they have, but you know, when I was 241 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,480 Speaker 2: sort of growing up, there was kind of like one 242 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 2: way to be There was one way to learn things. 243 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,200 Speaker 2: If you couldn't learn it that way, you must be dumb. 244 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:12,000 Speaker 2: And there was one way to react to things. And 245 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 2: if you didn't react that way, you were hyper sensitive. Right, 246 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 2: And now we have this like much broader understanding of oh, 247 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 2: there's all different kinds of people, and if you like 248 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,959 Speaker 2: rewind the tape of the human experience five thousand years, 249 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,240 Speaker 2: ten thousand years, one hundred thousand years, there were all 250 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:32,160 Speaker 2: different kinds of people even back then, who served all 251 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:37,120 Speaker 2: sorts of different purposes. So you may have been a seer, right, 252 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 2: you may have been a shaman, you may have been 253 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:42,559 Speaker 2: someone who in other cultures could perceive things that other 254 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 2: people couldn't. The difference is we think that Western modern 255 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 2: culture is superior to all culture that has ever existed. 256 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,120 Speaker 2: And in many ways, there's so many incredible things. And look, 257 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 2: we make computers and I can talk to you on 258 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 2: this like box, right, But when it comes down to 259 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 2: sort of what the human experience is, we're about interacting 260 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,559 Speaker 2: with other humans, cooperating with other humans, in some cases 261 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,560 Speaker 2: struggling with other humans. But what are the skills needed 262 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,800 Speaker 2: for that for like a dynamic human interaction. It's lost 263 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:17,920 Speaker 2: when we're emphasizing money, property, you know, same like those 264 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:18,760 Speaker 2: things get lost. 265 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:23,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, where would you say on the spectrum of emotions 266 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:27,360 Speaker 1: you fall like? Are you like are you emotionful? Are 267 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 1: you non emotional? 268 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 2: I'm very emotionful. I'm I mean I I always cried, 269 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,280 Speaker 2: like when I would see homeless people on the street. 270 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 2: This was like a thing, like just like a place 271 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 2: in me. Couldn't stand that even as a kid. And 272 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 2: you know a lot of women also when you have 273 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 2: a hormonal shift, they'll be like, oh, I cry at everything. 274 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 2: It's not that for me. It's that I really feel 275 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:59,320 Speaker 2: deeply kind of tapped in all the time. You know, 276 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 2: I've been accused by more than one ex boyfriend knowing 277 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 2: what they were feeling before they knew. 278 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 1: Well, because you probably did. 279 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 2: But it's like a part of it is it's like 280 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 2: that emotional you know, I have a very fine tuner 281 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:17,040 Speaker 2: that I use, you know, for other people's emotions as well, 282 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:23,280 Speaker 2: and I do I feel very deeply. I love passionately, 283 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 2: I fight passionately. So yeah, there's a lot of that 284 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:30,920 Speaker 2: in there. And I think I do have a rational 285 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 2: part of me. I have a science part of me. 286 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 2: I have a very binary kind of part of me, 287 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 2: which you know, I sort of need to temper, you know, 288 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,800 Speaker 2: you have to kind of temper both. Right, we're given 289 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 2: two sides of the brain or even. 290 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:45,600 Speaker 1: We need to find a happy medium. 291 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 2: That's right. 292 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:49,560 Speaker 1: Wait, go back to the boyfriend's accusing you knowing how 293 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:53,240 Speaker 1: they felt before you felt it. I'm interested. Okay, So 294 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: was that said in like a negative connotation? 295 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,720 Speaker 2: Like yeah, I was like get out of my head, 296 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 2: and I'd like, you don't know something that And I 297 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,320 Speaker 2: wasn't trying to like start something, but just sometimes it 298 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,200 Speaker 2: would feel very clear to me like, oh, this is 299 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 2: triggering a thing about like his mother, and I can 300 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,400 Speaker 2: feel that he thinks that, you know, I'm reenacting and 301 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 2: I'm probably thinking too much in other people's heads. But yeah, 302 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,600 Speaker 2: it would often lead to like, I don't know if 303 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 2: that's what I've to stop, you. 304 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 1: Know, yeah, I can see how that would get a 305 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 1: little weird. And I'm sure I've done it because yeah. 306 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I also don't think it makes me like intuitive, 307 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,760 Speaker 2: you know, like I don't. I sometimes have intuitive I've 308 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:36,040 Speaker 2: had very few sort of like distinctive intuitive moments. I 309 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,680 Speaker 2: don't think about being intuitive. But maybe there's something about 310 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:42,320 Speaker 2: perceiving other people's emotions that that maybe some of us 311 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 2: are more fine tuned to. Like I can tell by 312 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,760 Speaker 2: your eyebrow, you know, Like if I'm talking to someone, 313 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 2: I can tell by that left eyebrow that you are 314 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,840 Speaker 2: pretending you're okay with what I've said, but I'm gonna 315 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 2: hear about it in four days. 316 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,560 Speaker 1: What about projecting your feelings onto others? 317 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,280 Speaker 2: It's my favorite game. 318 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: You love that so fun, you know, I. 319 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:10,400 Speaker 2: Think that's interesting. I've been in therapy all my life, 320 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 2: pretty much, I've been in therapy since I'm a teenager, 321 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 2: and so this one, I think I'm aware when other 322 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 2: people do that to me, and I've been accused of projecting, 323 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:25,399 Speaker 2: but then I'm almost always told that, no, just kidding, 324 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 2: you were right? 325 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:33,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, see, I mean you are intuitive that I'm just 326 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 1: gonna call it what it is, Okay, not projecting, how 327 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: about absorbing or taking on other people's feelings like an impath. 328 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:46,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, so this is something I didn't learn about until 329 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:51,919 Speaker 2: much later in life. My younger son, who's now sixteen, 330 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,920 Speaker 2: I don't think he'll be listening to this, but I try, 331 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,720 Speaker 2: and you know, be respectful of his existence and his privacy. 332 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 2: But he often feel what other people were feeling. And 333 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:08,600 Speaker 2: when he was quite little, the story I like to 334 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,200 Speaker 2: tell I worked with Leslie Jordan and I was working 335 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,960 Speaker 2: with him when he passed away. He was on his 336 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,720 Speaker 2: way to work that day, and there was a memorial 337 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 2: that was held, and my kids were, you know, in 338 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 2: their earlier teens. And when I said to my younger son, 339 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 2: you know, was that sad? Did it feels sad? He 340 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:27,560 Speaker 2: said no, but I felt everyone else is sad. And 341 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 2: I don't even know that he understood what he was saying. 342 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:37,600 Speaker 2: I definitely can pick up on other people's positive or 343 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:43,000 Speaker 2: negative emotions, and you know, it often happens for children 344 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:49,239 Speaker 2: who grow up in homes with fighting or contentiousness. That 345 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:53,359 Speaker 2: we learn very well how to regulate, you know, like 346 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,560 Speaker 2: which emotional side do I need to be on? So 347 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 2: I think that's actually probably where it came from. But 348 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 2: I'd like to think that it can be also some 349 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 2: sort of superpower into you know, being empathic. I I'm 350 00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,679 Speaker 2: an introvert, and I wonder if the reason is because 351 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,199 Speaker 2: I am picking up on other people's energy and it 352 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:17,080 Speaker 2: feels too much. And then I have, you know, people 353 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 2: in my life like Jonathan who I do the podcast with, 354 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 2: and Jonathan is very clear that like he feels that 355 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 2: other people's feelings can get on him and bring him down. 356 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,399 Speaker 2: That's a whole Yeah, Like it feels it feels like 357 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,680 Speaker 2: a wait, like it feels like that I don't. I don't. 358 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,879 Speaker 2: I'm not in touch with that. If that's happening for me, 359 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:40,119 Speaker 2: that's a lot. Yeah, Apparently people walk around like this, 360 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:42,879 Speaker 2: and they're those people who are like, I'm sensitive to 361 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 2: EMFs and I'm like really, But then it seems like 362 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:49,280 Speaker 2: maybe they are. There are people who have a lot 363 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 2: of sensitivity to other people's emotions. And you know, who 364 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 2: am I to say that? Like we're all energetic bodies, 365 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,720 Speaker 2: that's science, right, Who am I? To say that some 366 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:02,520 Speaker 2: people are not more fine tuned. If you've interacted with 367 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 2: anyone on the spectrum who has a different way of interacting, 368 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:10,560 Speaker 2: they often consents things that other people don't. So I 369 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,680 Speaker 2: don't know why that would only be saved, you know, 370 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 2: for that portion of the population. We're a whole spectrum 371 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,960 Speaker 2: of everything in sensitivity. 372 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:29,439 Speaker 1: That's so true talking about science outside of being an 373 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:34,920 Speaker 1: accomplished actor, director, writer, podcast hosts. Mom, you've got a 374 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,520 Speaker 1: little thing called a PhD in neuroscience, which when I 375 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 1: learned that, I was like, what, so I want to 376 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:47,440 Speaker 1: come to you for some science backed info here, Okay, okay, yeah, 377 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,920 Speaker 1: get ready. Let's say someone's going through like a breakup 378 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:55,160 Speaker 1: or like you know, a divorce, and they're going through that, 379 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:58,400 Speaker 1: you know, emotional trauma that is associated with that. We've 380 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:02,240 Speaker 1: all been there. People can feel as if their nervous 381 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 1: systems are just like out of control, like they can't 382 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:10,840 Speaker 1: get control of their nervous systems. Why is that? 383 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:17,520 Speaker 2: So? You know, we are wired for survival is sort 384 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:22,600 Speaker 2: of the simplest explanation. We're wired for survival and the 385 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:27,359 Speaker 2: nervous system not just in humans, I mean in mammals, 386 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,800 Speaker 2: in particular, you're going to see, you know, similar things. 387 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:34,239 Speaker 2: But you know, in most animals that you can think of, 388 00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,120 Speaker 2: there is a response that is you know, we call 389 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:43,640 Speaker 2: it redundant, meaning the brain and the nervous system they 390 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,800 Speaker 2: don't have a different reaction for this is a minor 391 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 2: love affair that didn't work out, or this is a 392 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:54,440 Speaker 2: thirty year marriage, or this is I just watched you know, 393 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 2: my baby get eaten by a hyena. Right, the nervous 394 00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 2: system kind of conserved, you know, conserves a set of reactions, 395 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:07,760 Speaker 2: and so heartbreak, you know, in particular, it's going to 396 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,960 Speaker 2: feel like loss and grief, and our nervous system is 397 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 2: going to go through the same dance that it does 398 00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:16,840 Speaker 2: for other kinds of loss and grief. It's the cognitive 399 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,160 Speaker 2: part of us. It's the left hemisphere part of us 400 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,679 Speaker 2: that allows us to say, everything happens for a reason, 401 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:29,440 Speaker 2: God's in charge. It wasn't a healthy relationship anyway, right. 402 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,920 Speaker 2: But the fact is the other, like the right side 403 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,200 Speaker 2: of the brain, that feeling part, has to feel those 404 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:38,480 Speaker 2: feelings and that's all regulated by a nervous system that 405 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:44,680 Speaker 2: is primed, you know, to help us experience those emotions. 406 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:48,360 Speaker 2: You know, when when my father died. My dad died 407 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,320 Speaker 2: ten years ago. You know, many people instantly said, are 408 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:55,399 Speaker 2: you going to go on medication? And that is the 409 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:59,800 Speaker 2: way the Western world often treats, for example, grief, right, right, 410 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:03,960 Speaker 2: let's not experience it. And it is not for me 411 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,399 Speaker 2: to say you shouldn't go on medication if someone dies, like, 412 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,440 Speaker 2: that's not what I'm here to say. But what I'm 413 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:12,240 Speaker 2: here to say is for me, my understanding was grief 414 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 2: is a process that my body and my nervous system 415 00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 2: are going to go through so that I can move 416 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 2: to the other side of this event. Right. And when 417 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,920 Speaker 2: people talk about their nervous systems not kind of regulating, 418 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:32,440 Speaker 2: that's also evidence of what we know is true, which 419 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:37,879 Speaker 2: is that grief it compounds. Trauma compounds, loss compounds, so 420 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:43,879 Speaker 2: one loss will trigger the emotional memory sometimes the literal 421 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:47,840 Speaker 2: memory of other losses. Right. So you know, if I 422 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,439 Speaker 2: still feel grief, let's say about my divorce, which was 423 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 2: twelve thirteen years ago, chances are it's tapping into some 424 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,280 Speaker 2: other loss, right. So all of this kind of compounds, 425 00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,440 Speaker 2: and it's just sort of the way that we're wired. Now. 426 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 2: Other animals besides humans, have ways that they shake it off. 427 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,200 Speaker 2: Shaking is one of them, which is why a lot 428 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,119 Speaker 2: of people for vegus nerve vegas like nerve toning, Like 429 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:10,879 Speaker 2: I'll say, you have to like shake it. Animals do 430 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:14,560 Speaker 2: have an ability to regulate in ways that humans, you know, 431 00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:19,880 Speaker 2: kind of have adapted out of. And you know, again, 432 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,800 Speaker 2: we also have this sort of cognitive part that allows 433 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,840 Speaker 2: us to sort of be actively processing our traumas as 434 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,880 Speaker 2: they're happening in a way that's different, you know, from 435 00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:28,640 Speaker 2: other animals. 436 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 1: Do you have any tips on how to regulate your 437 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,119 Speaker 1: nervous system? I'm asking for a friend. 438 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:42,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I've been exploring the vagel toning, which 439 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,000 Speaker 2: is you know, it's coming up on my Instagram now. 440 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,080 Speaker 2: I think that's how much it hears me talking about it. 441 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:48,879 Speaker 1: If you think about it, it'll come up on your 442 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,240 Speaker 1: feed right exactly. 443 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,680 Speaker 2: So, the vagus nerve is a cranial nerve. It's the 444 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 2: tenth cranial nerve, and it regulates many aspects of your physiology. 445 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,200 Speaker 2: Because I think it's also important when you talk about 446 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 2: like your nervous system feeling disregulated, we're not just talking 447 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,880 Speaker 2: about like I'm upset, right, We're talking about a physiological 448 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:15,600 Speaker 2: set of things that happen. Yes, like shaky are constriction correct, 449 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,560 Speaker 2: so the vagus nerve. The ways that you know we 450 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,720 Speaker 2: can kind of calm down are with you know, even 451 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:27,840 Speaker 2: learning diaframatic breathing. Most people breathe from their shoulders like right, 452 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,960 Speaker 2: but learning to breathe so that basically your chest and 453 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 2: shoulders do not move at all. Breathing into your belly 454 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,560 Speaker 2: as if you're filling up your lower belly with a 455 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:41,119 Speaker 2: baby or a basketball. That kind of breathing stimulates the 456 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 2: vegus nerve for trying to literally calm you down. A 457 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:50,040 Speaker 2: lot of people also will do busying activities when they're 458 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 2: not feeling well because they think that it will distract 459 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:56,160 Speaker 2: them from what's happening. Sometimes you need to lean in 460 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 2: to your nervous system being dysregulated. It often means you 461 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:03,600 Speaker 2: need to cry or you need to move your body. 462 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,040 Speaker 2: That's why there are yoga practices for thousands of years 463 00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 2: that have put you in uncomfortable situations where you have 464 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:15,680 Speaker 2: to sit so that you can literally have release. To me, 465 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:18,200 Speaker 2: when the nervous system is shaking like that, it's because 466 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,919 Speaker 2: you're trying to hold it all together, and sometimes we 467 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,840 Speaker 2: need to fall apart so that we can be put 468 00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:23,439 Speaker 2: back together. 469 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 1: I love that. That's so true. You have to feel 470 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,920 Speaker 1: your feelings, you have to sit in them correct. 471 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:33,680 Speaker 2: And I think a lot of people feel like, oh, 472 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 2: that's new age, you know, mumbo jumbo, that's you know, 473 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 2: just lip service. But when we say feel your feelings, 474 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 2: it means when you're happy, are you present when you're happy? 475 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:45,919 Speaker 2: Do you have an idea of what that feels like 476 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 2: to feel joy? When you see the person you love 477 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 2: across the room and you get that elevator drop feeling 478 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,240 Speaker 2: in your body? Those are positive chemicals, right. And when 479 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:57,439 Speaker 2: you're sad, can you do more than just say like 480 00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,680 Speaker 2: I'm sad or that really sucks? Can you and say 481 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,080 Speaker 2: what does it feel like in my body? What does 482 00:27:03,119 --> 00:27:05,560 Speaker 2: it remind me of? Where is it in my body? 483 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 2: Does it need to move? Do I need to stretch? 484 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 1: Like? 485 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 2: Do I need to take a walk? Do I need 486 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:13,000 Speaker 2: to stop interacting with my kids for five minutes? Right? 487 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:14,159 Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah? 488 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:14,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 489 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,040 Speaker 1: It's so important to ask your body what it needs 490 00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,960 Speaker 1: and to listen correct. It's really hard to do though 491 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:20,520 Speaker 1: for some. 492 00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:24,679 Speaker 2: People it's very hard to do, and it's free. No 493 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,199 Speaker 2: one's trying to sell you a pill. You don't have 494 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 2: to deal with side effects. Right. It is completely free 495 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:34,840 Speaker 2: to learn to breathe. It's something that is every human's birthright. 496 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 2: It's not just for rich ladies in Los Angeles, right, Yes, 497 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:42,119 Speaker 2: deep breathing, deep breathing, learning to breathe, learning what it 498 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,640 Speaker 2: means to localize feelings in your body. Some school systems 499 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 2: are starting to teach this to kids. This is not 500 00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,560 Speaker 2: going to make it's not going to make weak children, 501 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,800 Speaker 2: I promise, it's going to make strong children who can 502 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:57,240 Speaker 2: know what's happening in their body so that they can 503 00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,800 Speaker 2: also hopefully deal with challenges with more resilience. 504 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:04,240 Speaker 1: Absolutely, it's so important. Why they didn't never teach me 505 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,680 Speaker 1: that in school or even as a young adult, those 506 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 1: conversations were never being had. Right as a mom, I 507 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:15,640 Speaker 1: feel so fortunate to have so much more information than 508 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,560 Speaker 1: my mom did or my teachers did, as far as 509 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 1: like mental health and how to take care of yourself. Sure, 510 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,560 Speaker 1: those kinds of levels, because that's a lot more important 511 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:31,280 Speaker 1: to me than algebra or you know, all the things 512 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,040 Speaker 1: that I didn't do grade and in school. 513 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:35,800 Speaker 2: Well, I'm a fan of algebraic for different reasons. But 514 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 2: you're right, this was the part, you know, this was 515 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 2: the part we didn't have this vocabulary, And of course 516 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,840 Speaker 2: we were told like, you know, it's silly that boys 517 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 2: can't cry, But we didn't have a whole language around 518 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:52,000 Speaker 2: why we've created a culture where vulnerability is denigrated, you know, 519 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,719 Speaker 2: like we didn't have those words, Like we knew it 520 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 2: was weird to be sexualized as young girls, but we 521 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:00,800 Speaker 2: didn't have the vocabulary to be like, you can't treat 522 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 2: me like that, and I'm uncomfortable with this conversation. I'd 523 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 2: like you to leave my dressing room. No one told 524 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 2: us those things. 525 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 1: Oh my god, can you imagine where we would be 526 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:15,800 Speaker 1: if we had those words to use then, I mean, we. 527 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,160 Speaker 2: Would have been fired because nobody was ready for that. 528 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:23,720 Speaker 1: But now seeing my daughters have those systems in place 529 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:28,160 Speaker 1: and the ability and even though people still don't want 530 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 1: to hear it, yeah, sometimes it's so important that we 531 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,239 Speaker 1: know we can't we have that at any moment in 532 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:35,560 Speaker 1: our too. 533 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:39,000 Speaker 2: Next, one of the things that I love about interacting with, 534 00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:43,320 Speaker 2: in particular young women in our industry is they have 535 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,240 Speaker 2: such a sense of strength, They're so they feel so 536 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,880 Speaker 2: entitled to be respected, And I love it because you 537 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,800 Speaker 2: can't imagine that, Like I knew that I wanted that. 538 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,200 Speaker 2: Never in a million years did I think that I'd 539 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 2: see a twenty year old woman say to a forty 540 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,160 Speaker 2: five year old man, I don't like the way you're 541 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,400 Speaker 2: speaking to me. I'm going to ask you to stop 542 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,480 Speaker 2: or I'm gonna have to leave this conversation. Like wow, 543 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:07,240 Speaker 2: that's right. 544 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:09,680 Speaker 1: That would have been like, oh God, everybody's gonna think 545 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 1: I'm such a bitch. I can't say that, right, And yeah, 546 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:17,480 Speaker 1: and anybody around me, specifically my co star Shannon, was 547 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:21,280 Speaker 1: very outspoken and she had those tools at a young age, 548 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,120 Speaker 1: and I always admired that so much about her. 549 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, but she was ahead of her time though. 550 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,320 Speaker 1: Yes, And I learned from her at an early age 551 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,160 Speaker 1: that I could do that too, So she was always 552 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:33,800 Speaker 1: like my hero in that respect. 553 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 2: Yep. 554 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,160 Speaker 1: And I hope to be able to serve as that 555 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:38,400 Speaker 1: for my daughters now. 556 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, for sure. 557 00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 1: You talked about this before. You and I are both 558 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,400 Speaker 1: in a club that nobody wants to be a part of. 559 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:57,560 Speaker 1: We both lost our fathers. Ugh. Grief is such an 560 00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,920 Speaker 1: ongoing process and it changes and it all over time, 561 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,640 Speaker 1: but it never leaves us. No and I think you 562 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 1: talked about before, when you experience new grief, it just 563 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:15,440 Speaker 1: seems to tap right back into that same dark deep well, yeah, 564 00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 1: the first time we experienced grief. Yeah, significant grief. 565 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:23,560 Speaker 2: I mean, look, I see a lot of alternative healers who, 566 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 2: you know, believe that our grief goes way back, and 567 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,800 Speaker 2: the grief that we're aware of is just building on 568 00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,440 Speaker 2: all the grief that we're not consciously aware of. Right, 569 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:37,880 Speaker 2: And this can get like very you know. So I 570 00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:41,680 Speaker 2: see a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner, and you know, they 571 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:45,240 Speaker 2: call the umbilical hoard like the first trauma. They call 572 00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:48,920 Speaker 2: it the first wound. Yes, because you are it's when 573 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:52,200 Speaker 2: you're taken right from everything that's like safe, it's well, 574 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:53,320 Speaker 2: I mean, look, it has to happen. 575 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:54,880 Speaker 1: I get it, I guess. 576 00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:58,320 Speaker 2: But the notion of like you know, we do, we 577 00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 2: hold a lot of stress and anxiety in that region. Right. 578 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:04,720 Speaker 2: If you have a nervous stomach, right, that's your proof 579 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:06,400 Speaker 2: that the mind and body are connected. If you're the 580 00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 2: person who's like, oh, I need to go to the 581 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:12,200 Speaker 2: bathroom before this date this interview, that's your gut. It's 582 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,720 Speaker 2: your gut telling you something right, And the notion is 583 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:17,200 Speaker 2: not to make us feel like we'reth these you know, 584 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:20,560 Speaker 2: delicate like oh, I'm just a bottle of trauma, but 585 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:24,400 Speaker 2: the notion of acknowledging like my body holds memory, my 586 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:27,680 Speaker 2: body's keeping the score of kind of everything that has happened. 587 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:31,240 Speaker 2: So when we have a parent die, right, or when 588 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:35,200 Speaker 2: we have any significant loss like that, yeah, it's tapping 589 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:38,200 Speaker 2: into a chemistry that's already kind of crimed for that. 590 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,160 Speaker 2: And I remember that, and I did a lot of writing. 591 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 2: I was writing for for Keller, and then I have 592 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,040 Speaker 2: Feller dot com and then I have my own website, 593 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 2: and I did a lot of writing in the first 594 00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:52,959 Speaker 2: year of grief. Even joy made me feel grief, and 595 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,480 Speaker 2: I thought, well, what are these wires that are crossing? 596 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:59,200 Speaker 2: Good things are happening, And it's like grief won't even 597 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 2: let me at it, you know. It's it's a very 598 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:09,800 Speaker 2: very humbling experience to walk through literally through grief that way. 599 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,920 Speaker 2: But I think the biggest thing that shocked me was 600 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,240 Speaker 2: before my dad died. I always thought that a parent 601 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,960 Speaker 2: dying was a thing. It was an event, like my 602 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,680 Speaker 2: dad died on this day, and exactly what you said, 603 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 2: it's a process and you get through it. You move 604 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:30,040 Speaker 2: through that, and it continues to change, but it is 605 00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:34,760 Speaker 2: always there. It's always there. You are now a person 606 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:39,600 Speaker 2: who's living without your parent. You're functioning in a world 607 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,440 Speaker 2: and they're not on this physical plane with you anymore. 608 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,440 Speaker 2: My dad died ten years ago, I still be like, oh, 609 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,320 Speaker 2: I go see if he's watching the next game, Like, 610 00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:50,040 Speaker 2: oh my god, he's not going to believe this trade 611 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 2: Like that's my brain kind of still goes there. And 612 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 2: the idea is not that I'm sitting in that same 613 00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:59,160 Speaker 2: kind of grief one hundred percent. I'm not. But there 614 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:02,280 Speaker 2: are still things that happened that will tap into all 615 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 2: of it. And that's the brain just doing what it does. 616 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:10,839 Speaker 1: I think, especially when we love someone so deeply and completely. 617 00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:15,680 Speaker 1: You know, I was very close with my dad. I 618 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:17,719 Speaker 1: just I'm not I can't really get into it right now, 619 00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:21,640 Speaker 1: but I just had a member of my family pass away. Sorry, 620 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:27,080 Speaker 1: and it's it goes right back to that same feeling. 621 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,600 Speaker 1: And it's like this was a dog that I'm referring to, 622 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:33,800 Speaker 1: and the connection that I have with that dog feels 623 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 1: like the same kind of grief in my body as 624 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 1: when my dad passed away. And yeah, I don't know 625 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 1: that people really believe that understand that, but it's true 626 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:47,160 Speaker 1: for me. 627 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:51,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true for me. And I think that's also 628 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:55,200 Speaker 2: something that's important is like that gets to be your experience, right, 629 00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,560 Speaker 2: other people don't get to write. And that's the other 630 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,239 Speaker 2: thing that I've sort of learned from doing my podcast. 631 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:04,600 Speaker 2: You never know. You never know what people are going through. 632 00:35:04,920 --> 00:35:07,719 Speaker 2: You never know if their dog dying was because they 633 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:11,440 Speaker 2: had unresolved issues, right or god forbid, they had a 634 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:14,600 Speaker 2: contentious relationship with someone that they lost, and it's bringing 635 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,359 Speaker 2: up all those things. I don't know, you know. And 636 00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,480 Speaker 2: that's why, like I really do, I try to come 637 00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:23,480 Speaker 2: from a place of like compassion and holding space for 638 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,920 Speaker 2: whatever anybody else is dealing with, you know, seeing that 639 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,160 Speaker 2: T shirt, Like you never know what someone else is 640 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,120 Speaker 2: going through. What if we all operated like that? You know? 641 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I do that a lot. I drive around or 642 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,880 Speaker 1: I'll look out the airplane window or whatever and see 643 00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:42,440 Speaker 1: all the people and all the houses and think, like 644 00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:47,279 Speaker 1: what is going on in there? Like I want to 645 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:48,520 Speaker 1: know what they're going through. 646 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,920 Speaker 2: I think everybody's got a story. 647 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:54,239 Speaker 1: Pretty much, it's all going to connect and relate back 648 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,040 Speaker 1: to the same thing, and we're all feeling it in 649 00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,920 Speaker 1: just different situations, different ways. 650 00:35:59,280 --> 00:35:59,520 Speaker 2: Yep. 651 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:11,120 Speaker 1: Let me ask you about this. We are viewing and 652 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,080 Speaker 1: absorbing information in such a different way than we have 653 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,839 Speaker 1: ever before. It's coming at us so fast and so 654 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:21,239 Speaker 1: hard and so short, such short lengths. What impact do 655 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,640 Speaker 1: you think that is having on our nervous system and 656 00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:24,840 Speaker 1: on our mental health. 657 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,239 Speaker 2: I can speak to this as a scientist, and I 658 00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:28,439 Speaker 2: can speak to you too. 659 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,560 Speaker 1: This is it's so hot when you talk like a scientist. 660 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,719 Speaker 2: I appreciate that, no, but it's also just I can 661 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,719 Speaker 2: speak to it as a human and I don't mean 662 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:42,000 Speaker 2: to sound like this lady, but yeah, we're not primed 663 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:46,719 Speaker 2: for short bits of information that are trying to communicate 664 00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,640 Speaker 2: things that are incredibly complicated. And that's one of the 665 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 2: reasons I do not get news from social media. It's 666 00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,520 Speaker 2: one of the reasons I don't have debates with people 667 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 2: about deep philosophical issues. Our brains are not wired to 668 00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:09,240 Speaker 2: understand nuance in a ten second clip. We are meant 669 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:15,080 Speaker 2: for compassion, for exchange of information. You know a lot 670 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:16,759 Speaker 2: of people like to point out, like, oh, our brains 671 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,719 Speaker 2: are adapting, they're changing they're really not changing. We are 672 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 2: the same brains that we were ten thousand years ago, 673 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:24,799 Speaker 2: one hundred thousand, Like, it's the same brain as if 674 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,200 Speaker 2: we're in a state of nature, hunting and gathering. Everything 675 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:31,000 Speaker 2: has happened very very quickly, but the brain does not 676 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,080 Speaker 2: change in one generation, I promise. 677 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:37,200 Speaker 1: So my wires aren't fried from all the no. 678 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:40,840 Speaker 2: I mean, we're living in a constant state of overstimulation. 679 00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:47,400 Speaker 2: We're living in a state of neurochemical overstimulation, tactile overstimulation, 680 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:52,600 Speaker 2: visual overstimulation. All those things are true. But we can 681 00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:56,239 Speaker 2: still return. And that's what vagel toning exercises are for. 682 00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:59,640 Speaker 2: That's what nature is for. That's what having a spiritual 683 00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:03,600 Speaker 2: pus is for. It's reminding you of that quiet place 684 00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:07,440 Speaker 2: that has always existed in the human brain. In the 685 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:12,680 Speaker 2: mammalian brain, we are primed for interaction with other creatures. 686 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:15,839 Speaker 2: We're not supposed to be attached to something that we're 687 00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,759 Speaker 2: staring down out all day. So when people say, like, oh, 688 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,600 Speaker 2: the only way I can go out to dinner with 689 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:23,640 Speaker 2: a child is to put them in front of a tablet. A, 690 00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:25,879 Speaker 2: that's not true, and now B. 691 00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:27,279 Speaker 1: We do that. 692 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,799 Speaker 2: You make correct correct, so and I feel that way 693 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,839 Speaker 2: about kind of a lot of these things, like how 694 00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,360 Speaker 2: am I going to make rules about this with my kids? 695 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:39,839 Speaker 2: Because you know, that's a huge challenge. Jonathan Hype talks 696 00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,360 Speaker 2: about this in Anxious Generation. He talks about the changes 697 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,719 Speaker 2: in the brain and our culture and ways that we 698 00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:48,800 Speaker 2: can kind of turn it around, but you know, to 699 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:53,480 Speaker 2: speak to some of the science of it. The rise 700 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:58,480 Speaker 2: in autoimmune diagnoses, the rise in people struggling with attention, 701 00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:04,200 Speaker 2: the rise in a need for a categorization of what 702 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:08,520 Speaker 2: many can see, shifts in when they change their screen time. 703 00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:11,960 Speaker 2: Dare I say, when they make even small changes to 704 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:15,680 Speaker 2: their diet. You know a lot of the things that 705 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,839 Speaker 2: that we have been told are good for us are 706 00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,480 Speaker 2: in many cases not good for us. And you should 707 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,640 Speaker 2: be very skeptical. You know of companies that give you 708 00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:26,640 Speaker 2: toys with your food, right, it's trying to get you 709 00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,520 Speaker 2: to buy more of something. 710 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,160 Speaker 1: That's the best. When the ceial number, when we. 711 00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:33,799 Speaker 2: Get write cereal the little that's right, We've got the 712 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,799 Speaker 2: little ties. But you know, we we do. We we 713 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:39,320 Speaker 2: live in a country that is in you know. Johann 714 00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:42,160 Speaker 2: Harry talks about this his book on Ozembic talks about 715 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:46,440 Speaker 2: this and tremendous, beautiful detail in a compassionate and loving way. 716 00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,080 Speaker 2: You know, we've been taught to eat a certain way 717 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,719 Speaker 2: and to behave a certain way that clearly is not 718 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:58,960 Speaker 2: agreeing with our cardiovascular health, our mental health. There's many indications, 719 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,800 Speaker 2: you know, when people are like, but I turned out okay. 720 00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:04,040 Speaker 2: Look at the health of our country, not just the 721 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:06,840 Speaker 2: physical health, look at the mental health of our country. 722 00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:10,399 Speaker 2: Look at what we're living in. Did we really turn 723 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:11,080 Speaker 2: out okay? 724 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,040 Speaker 1: Are we supposed to be able to answer that question? 725 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,080 Speaker 2: I mean, you know, and I also, I'm not a 726 00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:20,600 Speaker 2: doomsday person. I believe there's a lot of good. I 727 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:23,600 Speaker 2: think there's a lot of I am a very hopeful person. 728 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:24,880 Speaker 1: That's great. 729 00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:28,440 Speaker 2: But when it comes to certain things like again, the 730 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,040 Speaker 2: way the brain and nervous system we're taught to adapt, 731 00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:35,319 Speaker 2: the way the body is taught to process food and information, Yeah, 732 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:39,759 Speaker 2: we're not really living in concordance with that or in 733 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:45,160 Speaker 2: many cases overstimulating it and being allowing ourselves kind of 734 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,440 Speaker 2: to be lied to about what's good for us. Right, Like, 735 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,359 Speaker 2: I know it feels good in my body, I do. 736 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:53,960 Speaker 1: I promise you're a vegan, I am it happened to 737 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:59,799 Speaker 1: be as well. Nay, it's it's something people don't really understand. 738 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:05,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, and so there's a hot topic. Yeah. I mean, look, 739 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:07,920 Speaker 2: I'm sure I don't know how long you've been vegan. 740 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,240 Speaker 2: But when I started being a vegetarian when I was nineteen, 741 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,400 Speaker 2: and I transitioned to veganism about ten years later. You know, 742 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:18,600 Speaker 2: even being a vegetarian, my own parents were like, you're what, No, 743 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,520 Speaker 2: we eat everything on our plate. What like, we didn't 744 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:25,200 Speaker 2: survive Eastern Europe for you to not eat certain things 745 00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:28,040 Speaker 2: on your plate. The fact that the conversation is so 746 00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,360 Speaker 2: much broader, so much bigger, The fact that you know, 747 00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,880 Speaker 2: vegetarians are vegan, don't have to just eat pasta in 748 00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,759 Speaker 2: French fries and iceberg lettuce, which was pretty much when 749 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:40,160 Speaker 2: many of us ate. That's incredible. And also I left 750 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,840 Speaker 2: home you know when I when I went to college, 751 00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:46,400 Speaker 2: was when I became a vegetarian. It just it really 752 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,600 Speaker 2: wasn't an option. My parents were not mean people. My 753 00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,479 Speaker 2: parents were you know, my mom was a very healthy eater, 754 00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,360 Speaker 2: Like we weren't allowed sugar, cereal, and like snack before 755 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:56,960 Speaker 2: dinner was like a rock herrot, Like take a carrot 756 00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,840 Speaker 2: from the fridge, like we weren't you know, didn't eat fast, 757 00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:02,760 Speaker 2: you know, but still there was a standard American diet 758 00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,000 Speaker 2: that you know, many of us were sort of taught 759 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,000 Speaker 2: to live by. And so yeah, it was when I 760 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,120 Speaker 2: was nineteen and I moved out and I started going 761 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:12,799 Speaker 2: to college. It was after Blossom ended that I became 762 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,480 Speaker 2: a vegetarian. But there's so many more choices, so much 763 00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:19,160 Speaker 2: information now, and also, as you know, an entire industry 764 00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:22,400 Speaker 2: built around making vegans eat things that in many cases 765 00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:24,839 Speaker 2: are not very healthy and you might as well kind 766 00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:26,319 Speaker 2: of eat the package. And I used to sort of 767 00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:28,080 Speaker 2: turn my nose up at people, you know who would 768 00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:31,120 Speaker 2: say that. But now we see, like now we're kind 769 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:33,279 Speaker 2: of getting it, Like, oh, like I don't allow palm 770 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,799 Speaker 2: oil in my house anymore. In products, you know, a 771 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:38,400 Speaker 2: lot of those like fun soy products, they're filled with 772 00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:40,200 Speaker 2: things that I just can know, I just don't want 773 00:42:40,239 --> 00:42:42,319 Speaker 2: to do it anymore. And my kids kind of like 774 00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,160 Speaker 2: stomp their foot at me, and like we want the 775 00:42:44,160 --> 00:42:45,120 Speaker 2: fun cream cheese. 776 00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,840 Speaker 1: You know, Oh, that's so hard to give up. Like 777 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:53,480 Speaker 1: the delicacies of veganism, the cream cheeses and the chicken 778 00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:55,040 Speaker 1: you know, chicken. 779 00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:59,120 Speaker 2: Right, there's alternatives. There's a lot of fun like the 780 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,920 Speaker 2: dairy alternative. I think have really they've really turned a corner. 781 00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,920 Speaker 2: You know, people are culturing, but it's very expensive and 782 00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:07,839 Speaker 2: I you know, feel badly that it has to be. 783 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,680 Speaker 2: But you know, there's there's definitely been improvements there. But yeah, 784 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:15,719 Speaker 2: mostly God bless all the process meets. Like if it's 785 00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:19,759 Speaker 2: highly processed, whether it's vegan, vegetarian or not, don't eat 786 00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,640 Speaker 2: highly processed things if you can avoid it on any 787 00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:26,240 Speaker 2: given day. Like its point, it needs to be short 788 00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:29,680 Speaker 2: correct rule of thumb, just like as big as your thumb. 789 00:43:29,760 --> 00:43:32,960 Speaker 1: That's a good idea. Okay, wait, this is a big question. 790 00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:35,359 Speaker 1: Do you believe in afterlife or what do you think 791 00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:37,560 Speaker 1: happens when we die? 792 00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:41,279 Speaker 2: This is a big question. You know, we've done a 793 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:45,839 Speaker 2: couple episodes on our podcast where people have reported things 794 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:49,520 Speaker 2: that I can't explain or understand. Near death experiences in 795 00:43:49,520 --> 00:43:53,360 Speaker 2: particular are very you know, very well documented in the 796 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:57,200 Speaker 2: scientific literature, you know, kind of example. You know, for 797 00:43:57,320 --> 00:44:03,719 Speaker 2: me my you know, religious tradition, I'm Jewish, and you 798 00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:05,839 Speaker 2: know we're taught that there's a lot of rules about 799 00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:09,760 Speaker 2: how to live with a much less of an emphasis 800 00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:13,920 Speaker 2: on what happens when you die, and that means a 801 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:16,480 Speaker 2: lot of rules, a lot of restrictions, a lot of regulation, 802 00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:18,520 Speaker 2: rules about what to eat and how to dress and 803 00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,319 Speaker 2: how to talk, and you know that can be overwhelming. 804 00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:25,560 Speaker 2: But for me, you know, I'd like to believe that 805 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,400 Speaker 2: there is a place where there is no suffering, you know, 806 00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:32,440 Speaker 2: where there's no emotional suffering and there's no physical suffering. 807 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:37,040 Speaker 2: I don't really have a concept of heaven and hell 808 00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:40,840 Speaker 2: per se. I think it's sort of an extension of 809 00:44:41,360 --> 00:44:45,920 Speaker 2: you know, consciousness that sort of exists. And again, it's 810 00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:49,120 Speaker 2: not something you can grasp because it's part of, you know, 811 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,040 Speaker 2: something divine. So I don't spend a lot of time 812 00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:56,600 Speaker 2: sort of worrying about it. But you know, I really 813 00:44:56,719 --> 00:44:59,680 Speaker 2: I love stories when people say like, oh, like your 814 00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,000 Speaker 2: love are all around you, and when I love to 815 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,600 Speaker 2: watch mediums work because like, I don't know what's going 816 00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:08,080 Speaker 2: on there, but yeah, I'd love to believe that. I 817 00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,680 Speaker 2: just I think that there's a oneness, you know, there's 818 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:15,200 Speaker 2: a oneness that we will get to experience that sort 819 00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:18,279 Speaker 2: of I guess where I frame my concept of an afterlife, 820 00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:23,760 Speaker 2: that there's some sense of oneness unity that leaves behind 821 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:27,600 Speaker 2: all of the fights of this world, which in many 822 00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:31,000 Speaker 2: cases I hope one day will feel petty. You know, 823 00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:34,799 Speaker 2: which religion is right? You know, are men better than women? 824 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:37,600 Speaker 2: Are women? But like all these kind of things, you know, 825 00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:39,880 Speaker 2: like cats versus dogs, it's like, I don't know. 826 00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:46,279 Speaker 1: It taps back into that feeling of the faith thing 827 00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:49,120 Speaker 1: for me, And if I can't see it, how do 828 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:51,960 Speaker 1: I know it? Yeah, And then at some point in 829 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,920 Speaker 1: my life, I just had to decide to have faith 830 00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:59,680 Speaker 1: in it, you know, like you said that there is 831 00:45:59,719 --> 00:46:07,360 Speaker 1: a And I really do feel the presence of angels, spirits, 832 00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:11,280 Speaker 1: and I want to call them energies, and I pray 833 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:14,160 Speaker 1: to them and I talk to them, and I send them, 834 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,080 Speaker 1: I send them places, I send them to protect people 835 00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:21,160 Speaker 1: I love. Like I feel so supported, whereas before I 836 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:24,799 Speaker 1: never did. And I feel like I'm not quite there 837 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:30,400 Speaker 1: yet with having that feeling of like peace with what 838 00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,880 Speaker 1: happens when people die, Yeah, because I just don't know. 839 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:39,720 Speaker 1: But I'm just going to go with the feelings because 840 00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:40,960 Speaker 1: I have nothing else. 841 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,200 Speaker 2: To Yeah, And I think a lot of people I've 842 00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:48,680 Speaker 2: heard say, like, my life is better when I believe, yeah, 843 00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:52,920 Speaker 2: meaning you get to lean into spirits, guides, angels, You 844 00:46:52,960 --> 00:46:56,520 Speaker 2: get to lean into a lot of possibility and feeling 845 00:46:56,680 --> 00:47:01,200 Speaker 2: protected even when you're scared. And if you choose not 846 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,440 Speaker 2: to believe, which is fine, it may just be you 847 00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:08,480 Speaker 2: know what, some people works for them. But yeah, am 848 00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,600 Speaker 2: I living a life of sort of like faith or 849 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:13,400 Speaker 2: of fear? And for me, without faith, I go right 850 00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:14,000 Speaker 2: into fear. 851 00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:20,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, me too, And that's not a fun place to be. No, 852 00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:26,680 Speaker 1: it's a big it's a big topic. Yeah, it's exciting. 853 00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,800 Speaker 1: You're turning fifty? When is this happening? 854 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:30,800 Speaker 2: December? 855 00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:32,280 Speaker 1: December? 856 00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:38,000 Speaker 2: What I'm twelve? Twelve? Oh that's so easy to remember. 857 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:42,440 Speaker 1: Wow, how are you feeling about this this next chapter? 858 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:42,680 Speaker 2: Like? 859 00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,680 Speaker 1: What do you want this next chapter to be filled 860 00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:48,440 Speaker 1: with for you? Or do you not know? 861 00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:55,400 Speaker 2: I don't know. I mean I think I don't love aging. 862 00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:59,799 Speaker 2: I really don't. I'm not a fan. Yeah, not a fan. 863 00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:02,799 Speaker 2: And some people do it gracefully and like, I don't 864 00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:06,360 Speaker 2: know what that's like. But every time my prescription changes, 865 00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,279 Speaker 2: every time, I'm like, I really think I can't hear 866 00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:10,040 Speaker 2: like I used to? 867 00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:14,120 Speaker 1: Oh why am I can't rend here? When you let 868 00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,960 Speaker 1: hold on? When you go into like a restaurant. Yeah, 869 00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,960 Speaker 1: and there's noise, people talking, talking, talking all around, and 870 00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:22,840 Speaker 1: then there's someone right in front of you. 871 00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:26,120 Speaker 2: Yep, I cannot hear the person right now. So that's 872 00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:28,400 Speaker 2: your brain not being able to filter the way it 873 00:48:28,440 --> 00:48:30,719 Speaker 2: did when it was young. When our brains are young, 874 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:33,239 Speaker 2: they're filtering all sorts of things, and like, I can 875 00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:35,319 Speaker 2: hang on to this, and I can listen to that. 876 00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:39,040 Speaker 2: People with add experience and inability to filter. That has 877 00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:41,719 Speaker 2: nothing to do with age, right, But for those of 878 00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,239 Speaker 2: us at a certain age, that's exactly what it is. 879 00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:47,640 Speaker 2: Your brain is like everything is so important all the time. 880 00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,120 Speaker 1: Wait, so it's not my hearing, well. 881 00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:53,840 Speaker 2: You're hearing is your brain? I mean it's all connected 882 00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:58,520 Speaker 2: in there. Sorry yeah, gosh. So yeah. Every time that happens, 883 00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,279 Speaker 2: it feels like there's a level of like why what? 884 00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:04,840 Speaker 2: And I'm told that that's creating more strife, you know, 885 00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:07,160 Speaker 2: than it needs to, and I should be an acceptance. 886 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:09,960 Speaker 2: We had Justine Bateman on our podcast, and you know, 887 00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,759 Speaker 2: I love her. She literally, I mean she's amazing, but 888 00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,480 Speaker 2: she literally like wants me to embrace every wrinkle and 889 00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,760 Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't think I want to. I haven't 890 00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,200 Speaker 2: had work done. Just being honest, I don't want to 891 00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,600 Speaker 2: embrace the rink. I don't like it, Like what is 892 00:49:22,640 --> 00:49:26,160 Speaker 2: my neck? What's happening? You know, I'm like examining every 893 00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:30,160 Speaker 2: single part. So what I'm you know, I'm hoping that 894 00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:34,400 Speaker 2: maybe there'll be some like magic moment of like you're fine, 895 00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:37,839 Speaker 2: like you're okay. This is why I don't know if 896 00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,680 Speaker 2: it's going to happen, but I might be hopeful. 897 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:43,960 Speaker 1: It's going to happen. That is what the fifties. It's magic, 898 00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:46,960 Speaker 1: like there's and but but at the same time, you 899 00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,560 Speaker 1: still do look at that creepy skin on your lower 900 00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,439 Speaker 1: legs and be like, yeah, why is my skin so dry? Yep, 901 00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:54,720 Speaker 1: those all all those things can happen. 902 00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:57,040 Speaker 2: My enter size are convinced they need to be on 903 00:49:57,080 --> 00:50:00,560 Speaker 2: the floor, like no matter, no matter if I lose weight, 904 00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:03,480 Speaker 2: like if I'm thinner, Like the thighs don't care. It's 905 00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:05,560 Speaker 2: like not about a number on the scale for the thighs. 906 00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:07,480 Speaker 2: They're just like we live. We want to be on 907 00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:10,160 Speaker 2: the ground, and we're going to keep showing you that 908 00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:11,640 Speaker 2: we want to be. And I'm like, I'm gonna live 909 00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:14,400 Speaker 2: in tights forever. I'm just gonna wear tights forever. 910 00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:21,120 Speaker 1: I'm wearing tights right now under my pants. It's so true, though, 911 00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:25,840 Speaker 1: we're supposed to embrace it and age gracefully and yeah, 912 00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:30,560 Speaker 1: but it's it takes time to get there, yeah, fifty two, 913 00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:35,960 Speaker 1: but it does gradually. You do gradually reach the point 914 00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:39,120 Speaker 1: where you're like, this is me, this is it, this 915 00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:42,880 Speaker 1: is I'm I'm not going to be something that I'm 916 00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:44,880 Speaker 1: thinking I'm supposed to be or people are thinking I'm 917 00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:45,400 Speaker 1: supposed to be. 918 00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:47,240 Speaker 2: And I just live in my bathroom all the time. 919 00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:51,319 Speaker 1: Oh, the bathroom's the best I think we are. We 920 00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:54,839 Speaker 1: are we are connected, soul connected. We have a lot 921 00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:59,480 Speaker 1: of the same likes and dislikes. Oh, I just love 922 00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,600 Speaker 1: our chat. I really have enjoyed spending time with you 923 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:05,759 Speaker 1: and getting better, not just on Cupcake Wars. 924 00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:10,399 Speaker 2: We needed an update to our connections. So this is it. 925 00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:11,720 Speaker 1: I'll remember this one. 926 00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:13,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, I hope I will too. 927 00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,960 Speaker 1: Wait before I let you go, Mayan Beelic, what was 928 00:51:18,880 --> 00:51:20,240 Speaker 1: your last I Choose me moment? 929 00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:25,880 Speaker 2: Wow? What was my last I choose me moment? You know? 930 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:30,279 Speaker 2: I was supposed to go to a screening Friday night 931 00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:37,160 Speaker 2: to support a friend of mine, and I really wasn't 932 00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:40,960 Speaker 2: feeling well. I was listening to my body, and it 933 00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:45,040 Speaker 2: was so hard because everything in me was like, go, 934 00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:49,239 Speaker 2: you'll be fine, it's okay, blah blah blah, like all 935 00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:51,239 Speaker 2: the things like what will they think of me? What 936 00:51:51,280 --> 00:51:54,320 Speaker 2: will I this? And I built it up so much 937 00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,520 Speaker 2: and I finally said to this friend, I was honest. 938 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:03,360 Speaker 2: I said I'm not feeling well and I'm very sorry. 939 00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:06,120 Speaker 2: I'm not going to be able to come. And his 940 00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:08,719 Speaker 2: response was like, I know how much you love and 941 00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:12,560 Speaker 2: support me. It's totally fine. What I'm most excited about 942 00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:15,600 Speaker 2: is that you're taking care of yourself. Oh, and it 943 00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:17,520 Speaker 2: doesn't always work like that. A lot of times you'll 944 00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,520 Speaker 2: stand up for yourself and people will be like you 945 00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:21,759 Speaker 2: let me down? Why not this? But it was like 946 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,960 Speaker 2: a great It was a message from the universe giving 947 00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:29,080 Speaker 2: me permission to literally listen to my body. And it 948 00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:31,839 Speaker 2: was like, there's just yeah. And it didn't just make 949 00:52:31,880 --> 00:52:33,560 Speaker 2: me feel better that I didn't have to like go 950 00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:35,759 Speaker 2: out late at night to this thing. It was that 951 00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:41,000 Speaker 2: I got that elevator lift feeling for myself, like oh, 952 00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:43,960 Speaker 2: you're allowed to advocate for yourself and if you don't 953 00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:47,399 Speaker 2: feel good, it's okay. That was a really big one. 954 00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:50,000 Speaker 2: You know. I watched Family Feud and went to bed. 955 00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:53,920 Speaker 1: Oh, good night. That's a good night. And that's the 956 00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:57,640 Speaker 1: whole point of this podcast. And what I talk about 957 00:52:57,760 --> 00:53:01,160 Speaker 1: is that letting people know that it is okay to 958 00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:06,120 Speaker 1: choose themselves. And you choose yourself, and you also realized 959 00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:10,120 Speaker 1: in that moment, oh, choosing myself feels really good. Yeah, 960 00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:12,200 Speaker 1: and it's not selfish. 961 00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:15,759 Speaker 2: No, it's the opposite of people pleasing feels really good. 962 00:53:16,120 --> 00:53:19,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, it feels really good. Well, you feel really good, 963 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:20,960 Speaker 1: and I just love you, so thank you. 964 00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:24,040 Speaker 2: Well, thank you. I really appreciate that. Thank you. This 965 00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:24,600 Speaker 2: is awesome.