1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glazier, a mental health podcast 2 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:10,960 Speaker 1: helping you out of the gray and into the blue. 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: Now here's Jay Glazier. Welcome back to a Breakable, a 4 00:00:16,560 --> 00:00:19,439 Speaker 1: mental health podcast with Jay Glazer. And one of the 5 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,440 Speaker 1: great things I get to do here on my podcasts 6 00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 1: reconnects me with my brothers and people I've leaned into 7 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,400 Speaker 1: over the years, people who knew that I had these 8 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: issues before I came out with these issues and love 9 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 1: me no matter what. And again I've always told everybody, well, 10 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: I used to be Glazier's crazy, but they didn't know 11 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,519 Speaker 1: the pain I was in. This man knew the pain 12 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: I was in and has always been there for me. 13 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 1: And you may know him got the Silver Star from 14 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: President Bush for his heroics in the Marines. He was 15 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,880 Speaker 1: the WEC lightweight champ in the world. He was the 16 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: fifth rank middleweight in the UFC. At one point, he 17 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 1: was a broadcaster. He played football Naval Academy, was there 18 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 1: middle linebacker at a quarterback at one point. Like basically, 19 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 1: I don't know, we wasn't a previous life, but God 20 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,039 Speaker 1: has blessed him. He was like Jonas Salk or something, 21 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: because now he's chopped in America and all this shit 22 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 1: he's done is unbelievable. I want to welcome in my 23 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 1: brother Brian Stan, who was also man. He's done so 24 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 1: much work for veterans since leaving the military. It's incredible. 25 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 1: But the work you've done for me has I don't 26 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:21,840 Speaker 1: know if I've ever really truly thank you like you know. 27 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: I'm grateful, but man, you have got me through some 28 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 1: dark fucking times. Brother, and I really here want to 29 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 1: thank you for all of it. Man, one that's really humbling. Man, 30 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 1: I'm blown away because as much as as I may 31 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,639 Speaker 1: have helped you, you've been there for me as well. 32 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,880 Speaker 1: I mean, you remember the first time I ever got 33 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:45,399 Speaker 1: a broadcasting shot on Fox. You texted me, you reached 34 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,320 Speaker 1: out to them, got my number, said hey, bro, this 35 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: is Jake Glazer. We're gonna work together tomorrow. Meet me 36 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 1: on the mats. Let's roll around, let's work out. We 37 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 1: gotta get to know each other. We gotta build some chemistry. 38 00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 1: And you know, you just don't find it. It's not 39 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 1: like you know the these you know, these these experienced 40 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: insiders broadcast there's television personalities are going to go do 41 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: that to some no name who got the opportunity in Omaha, 42 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:16,680 Speaker 1: Nebraska because somebody got sick, right, And uh, we've been 43 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: through dark times together, man, and and I appreciate it. 44 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,600 Speaker 1: And I've loved watching your journey and I pull strength 45 00:02:23,639 --> 00:02:27,239 Speaker 1: and wisdom from the experiences that you've had because you've 46 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: had some some incredible ones in your life. Man, So 47 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: thanks for aving no absolutely, Man's again, I've seen your 48 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,079 Speaker 1: journey also, but as a credible I used to brag 49 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: about you all the time. And like most people are 50 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,519 Speaker 1: in the military, you couldn't do it right. You guys 51 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 1: get so uncomfortable. So I tell everybody, oh my gosh, 52 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: this is Brian. He had So I'm gonna have you 53 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: tell people you went to Annapolis as a quarterback. Yeah, 54 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: I went There's a quarterback and didn't work out. Wasn't 55 00:02:54,480 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: an option Guy warren't smart enough right now, the wider receiver, 56 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 1: then the safety than the linebacker. We had, you know, 57 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,760 Speaker 1: defensive officive corodinator fired one year, then the head coach 58 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,360 Speaker 1: fired in the locker room the next year. Tons of 59 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,919 Speaker 1: coaching changes. But I was there when Paul Johnson got 60 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: there for my senior year, and you know, I found 61 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:19,200 Speaker 1: my way to contribute primarily on special teams, which was 62 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: really disappointing to me, but man, it was one of 63 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: the best lessons I've ever learned. If you're not finding 64 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: a way to add value to whatever team, organization, or 65 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,359 Speaker 1: unit you're a part of, you make yourself vulnerable and replaceable. 66 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 1: And I developed a lot of leadership in doing that. 67 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: And then from there, obviously nine to eleven happened our 68 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,680 Speaker 1: junior year, and so we knew we were graduating going 69 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 1: to war, and I selected Marine Corps and then became 70 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 1: an infantry officer. Well, I just select the Marine Corps. 71 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 1: You know, there was really no there were no other 72 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:57,600 Speaker 1: options that fit me, right. I knew my personality and 73 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: in high school it was tough for me because I 74 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: took things so seriously. People always called me intense. This 75 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: doesn't surprise you at all, you know. I then go 76 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 1: to the Naval Academy, and it turns out I was 77 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: a little intense for the Naval Academy. So then I decide, 78 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to go to the place where intense people 79 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: are welcome, celebrated, and normal, and that's the United States 80 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,840 Speaker 1: Marine Quick or we are all normal there. And then 81 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:27,479 Speaker 1: I went, you know, into the infantry units, and that's 82 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 1: where it's even more extreme, and that was just the 83 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: perfect fit for me. And I just knew that I 84 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: couldn't I couldn't serve during a period of combat and 85 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,440 Speaker 1: you know, end up serving in a supporting unit. Not 86 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: that there's anything wrong with it, but I belonged on 87 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 1: the battlefield. That's where my skills and my talents and 88 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: my leadership would be best used. That's where I wanted 89 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: to be, and I enjoyed being and so that that's 90 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,840 Speaker 1: why I wanted to go Marines. And not a day 91 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,719 Speaker 1: goes by that I ever regret my service. Did you 92 00:04:57,839 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: enjoy it for the intensity or to enjoy it for 93 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: the brotherhood, the leadership, the brotherhood. I was twenty four 94 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:10,159 Speaker 1: years old, platoon commander. I had forty two Marines. Half 95 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: of them were younger than I was, the other half 96 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: were older than I was. Just incredible young men who 97 00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 1: during a time of combat, during a time of two wars, 98 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:24,159 Speaker 1: raised their right hand and said yeah, all sir, voluntarily, 99 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:28,000 Speaker 1: And to truly think about that commitment at that young 100 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 1: and age is so humbling, and the opportunity to lead 101 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:35,920 Speaker 1: them and learn from them and be their platoon commander. 102 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,800 Speaker 1: It is one of the coolest, most fulfilling jobs in 103 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,480 Speaker 1: the world, albeit it comes with some pressure and stressing. Well, 104 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 1: you had an awful lot of stress on a particular 105 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: night over a span of was it four or five days? 106 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:53,839 Speaker 1: Is six? Yes? Tell that story. Sure. You know. We 107 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:57,720 Speaker 1: were in western Alombar Province and north of the Euphrates River. 108 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:03,000 Speaker 1: We had no forces, no American forces whatsoever. And at 109 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: that time the main leader for al Qaeda and Iraq 110 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: was a guy named al Zarkhali, and he was operating training, 111 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 1: recruiting north of the Euphrates and western Alombar Province where 112 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,920 Speaker 1: there was no borders. He could very easily go from 113 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 1: Syria to Iraq run operations and all of his teams 114 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:24,920 Speaker 1: of al Qaeda had freedom of maneuver there. And so 115 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: in the weeks leading up the Operation Matador, we were 116 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: doing a bunch of supporting operations with an outfit called 117 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 1: six to six. It was a joint team of Delta 118 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: and Navy seals and we were like a quick reaction 119 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 1: force for them if they needed any support. And they 120 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 1: were going up there and doing raids and what they 121 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: were encountering, which is a much larger force than we 122 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: knew was there. So we decided we were going to 123 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:52,760 Speaker 1: do this large operation, build bridges, go north and clear 124 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 1: everything from east to west. And my unit was a 125 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: cavalry unit, so eight vehicles of heavy machine guns. Then 126 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: they supplemented me with a platoon of tanks from Boise, 127 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 1: Idaho Marines I'd never worked with when I met the 128 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: night before the operation, and we were supposed to be 129 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: a quick reaction force south of the bridge once the 130 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 1: operation started. Problem was they started to build this bridge 131 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,400 Speaker 1: three in the morning and it was taken too long, 132 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: and there was a unit that was supposed to go 133 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 1: to the only place in the western portion of the 134 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,000 Speaker 1: Euphrates River that had a bridge that the enemy could escape. 135 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 1: This platoon was going to go there and provide a 136 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: blocking position there, and that was in a known area 137 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: that nobody ever went to. It was full of enemy 138 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 1: and the last unit that was there that tried to 139 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: go there lost a couple of marines getting there, so 140 00:07:46,360 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: everybody was really worried about that platoon getting there. Well, 141 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:53,560 Speaker 1: that platoon was trying to get there, they had never 142 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 1: been in that terrain and their vehicles sank in the 143 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: mud because it was close to water, and so they 144 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 1: sent us. I had thirty minutes. Notice, stand, you got 145 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 1: to get there. Now, get your marines ready. We get 146 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 1: to get to that bridge. And two guys, yeah, me 147 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: and my forty two guys plus two tanks that I'd 148 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 1: never worked with before, these young kids. We get there, 149 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,440 Speaker 1: but we had to fight our way there. Something had changed, 150 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: right and what we didn't know we found it after 151 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,920 Speaker 1: the fact, was that Zark how we actually moved from 152 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: his unit al Qaida moved from north to Euphrates down 153 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 1: south into the city Corrabla. And so over the six days, 154 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: I would go back and forth through Corrabla to that 155 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 1: blocking position to establish it, fight our way back, resupply it, 156 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,960 Speaker 1: stay there, and in the process of doing so, we 157 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:44,360 Speaker 1: fought through several ambushes. I lost two tanks. I think 158 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: I'm the only lieutenant to have two tanks get catastrophic kills. 159 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 1: In the Iraq War. A lot of marines were injured. 160 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:55,719 Speaker 1: But fortunately every one of those marines they lived. And 161 00:08:56,760 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 1: really it was in the most intense times where it's chaos. 162 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: Can't see suicide vehicles are hitting you, IEDs are hitting you. 163 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 1: Enemies fire in RPGs, there's lots of chaos. These young men, 164 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 1: they listen, they get the basics right, They fight their 165 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:20,120 Speaker 1: ass off, and they sacrifice themselves for each other. I 166 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,440 Speaker 1: had a vehicle get hit with a suicide bomb. The 167 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,720 Speaker 1: suicide vehicle ran into it, took it out, the biggest 168 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,320 Speaker 1: explosion I ever heard in my life. My vehicle commander 169 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,840 Speaker 1: half his body's melted. Other kid is in shock. The 170 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 1: gunner right has a piece of shrapnel sticking out of 171 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 1: his forehead. The size of this I met him. Yeah, 172 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 1: And I got a nineteen year old kid climbing in 173 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,559 Speaker 1: the vehicle while he's getting shot at by machine gun fire. 174 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: Somehow manages to pick this gunner up out of the turret, 175 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,240 Speaker 1: save his life, and get him out of their gunner 176 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: got shot in the arm while he was carrying him off. 177 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 1: You just can't describe that kind of bravery, right because 178 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,200 Speaker 1: so many people would like to think they would do that. 179 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 1: But they're doing that. They're saving each other with death 180 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,959 Speaker 1: right there, like they know, Hey, I am probably gonna 181 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,680 Speaker 1: die doing this, but I'm doing it anyways to save you. 182 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:14,320 Speaker 1: It was incredible, and it was a time period in 183 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:19,520 Speaker 1: my life that that I've drawn strength from repeatedly, that 184 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 1: I've drawn lots of sleepless nights and regret from you know, 185 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,559 Speaker 1: wondering if I would have gone left instead of right, 186 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 1: if I would have had them fire here so the 187 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,599 Speaker 1: air if I would have called the air support in 188 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 1: over this shoulder to then that shoulder. You what f 189 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: these you? What if these things absolute death? And that's 190 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 1: that's the mental struggle in the aftermath, when you're an officer, 191 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 1: when you're a leader of those men. But here's here's 192 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,199 Speaker 1: where I see difference in you in the past, where 193 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 1: again I try and pull the story out. I don't 194 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,760 Speaker 1: almost tell your story and fuck it up and tell 195 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:52,040 Speaker 1: other people because you wouldn't talk about it. Now I 196 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 1: hear you talk about it so much with an ext hell, 197 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 1: with more pride of wherever you these men and occurred 198 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: that you've had and one of colms this has been 199 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 1: that you helped lead men to save lives. And it's 200 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,880 Speaker 1: a different version of you telling the story. I'm proud 201 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,640 Speaker 1: to see because you deserve it. You deserve to love 202 00:11:11,679 --> 00:11:15,679 Speaker 1: yourself up for this eroism. You deserve it. When did 203 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:17,959 Speaker 1: it change? Like you? Right, you wouldn't, you wouldn't talk 204 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,400 Speaker 1: about it. But now I see this, When did it change. 205 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,360 Speaker 1: We're now you were able to let yourself feel that love. 206 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 1: You know, it's I think the first step. The first 207 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 1: step was just trying to gain perspective and acceptance of 208 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,640 Speaker 1: what happened. And because my second tour in Iraq was 209 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:38,559 Speaker 1: worse than the first. I mean we average, we average 210 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,679 Speaker 1: losing two marines every fifteen DA days. It was awful. 211 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 1: It was violent, and we had marines going down from 212 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 1: supporting units. We were in one of those dangerous areas 213 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: of Iraq. And the first step was really finding something 214 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: that I could do that would give me perspective, and 215 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 1: that was martial arts, being on those mats, you know, 216 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:02,240 Speaker 1: getting after it and when you get so exhausted that 217 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: you're so tired that you can't hear anything else and 218 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,640 Speaker 1: you're just alone with your thoughts. And when you're that tired, 219 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:13,280 Speaker 1: you get that great feeling, right, those great endorphins, and 220 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: you could at least gain more perspective. You take a 221 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:18,439 Speaker 1: step back, and you could think about this situation and say, 222 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:23,199 Speaker 1: you know what, I didn't cause those situations. What decisions 223 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,080 Speaker 1: did I have available to me? You know, did I 224 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,640 Speaker 1: do the right thing? Did I do what I was 225 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 1: trained for? Did I put my marines before me every time. 226 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 1: And when you think through those and you think back, 227 00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: that allows you to at least accept what happened. And 228 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:44,959 Speaker 1: I think, as I've gotten older and I really realized 229 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,680 Speaker 1: the mistake I made after combat, which was all this 230 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: violence I saw, I struggled with my faith and I thought, 231 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 1: you know what, if all of that can happen, how 232 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 1: could there be a God? And as I've gotten older 233 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 1: and I had kids, I went from seeing life taken 234 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,679 Speaker 1: all the time in taking lives, to seeing life created 235 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 1: and watching that life grow and experiencing these things in 236 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 1: my life that could only be the love that God 237 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 1: has bestowed and the gifts He's bestowed upon me. That 238 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,960 Speaker 1: perspective really opened my eyes, opened my heart to really say, hey, 239 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:21,440 Speaker 1: you know what, I don't just accept what happened, but 240 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: I'm okay with what happened, what me and my marines did, 241 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,319 Speaker 1: how we we we gave for one another, and how 242 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:33,120 Speaker 1: we've continued to do whatever we can for those families 243 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:36,079 Speaker 1: of our brothers who didn't make it back so that 244 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 1: their names continue to go on forever. And that you know, 245 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 1: that's really been the last four or five years now, 246 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: it's really taken that long for me to open up 247 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:49,920 Speaker 1: to that, and I was stubborn, right, I was stubborn. 248 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:53,120 Speaker 1: I would cry like instantly telling that story. I could 249 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,679 Speaker 1: come to tears immediately, you know, thinking about the brain 250 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,319 Speaker 1: damage Robert Gass has had to endure over the course 251 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 1: of his life, you know, or Doug Champlain when he 252 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:07,200 Speaker 1: died and watching his father with his son, his baby's 253 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,280 Speaker 1: son come to the funeral, touching the pictures of his father, 254 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,079 Speaker 1: knowing he's never going to see his dad again, He's 255 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,960 Speaker 1: never going to know his father because he was just 256 00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:17,160 Speaker 1: a baby. Like, those memories just haunt you, and you 257 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 1: constantly wonder what else could you have done to have 258 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:23,520 Speaker 1: prevented that? And that stops you from living, right, That 259 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,880 Speaker 1: stops you from living, That stops you from truly memorializing 260 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,760 Speaker 1: those Marines, those warriors, for the people they were, so 261 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 1: that they could be emulated and their character traits could 262 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,600 Speaker 1: be passed on to others. And you know, finally opening 263 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: myself up to that allows me to enjoy life for 264 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,800 Speaker 1: and commemorate them better. I love and you know, listen, 265 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 1: this brotherhood you're talking about, we have a certain brotherhood 266 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,640 Speaker 1: in fighting, right, but those of us who didn't serve, 267 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: we'll never understood that brotherhood. And you know, I want 268 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 1: all the veterans in the military who hear this, that's 269 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,560 Speaker 1: your currency for like that brotherhood. It's just nothing like it. 270 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 1: And that that makes you ri cher than all of 271 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 1: us to have that level of love and brotherhood and sisterhood. Amen. 272 00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 1: I lost a lot of marines to suicide after these 273 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,400 Speaker 1: deployments in every single time. And you know this. You 274 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,920 Speaker 1: know this well because you fight against it. You helped, 275 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,920 Speaker 1: you know, create organizations to fight against it. It's isolation. 276 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: They go isolate themselves. They they don't find that brotherhood anymore. 277 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: And when they do that, man, that you know, busy 278 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 1: minds don't want to dark places. You go isolate yourself 279 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,200 Speaker 1: and you're not busy anymore and you're left alone your 280 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,160 Speaker 1: own thoughts. Man, we become vulnerable to that. And you're 281 00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:37,800 Speaker 1: so right. And you saw it. I mean, you saw 282 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 1: it at my wedding. You know, you see these guys 283 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,160 Speaker 1: that I served with the Naval cat and the end 284 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:47,360 Speaker 1: in combat and that bond, I mean is just incredible. 285 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 1: It's like anything else in the world. That's Look, we 286 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: have a bond for those of us who laid hand 287 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,320 Speaker 1: on its hands on each other. But your bond is 288 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: that's times a thousand. There's just nothing like it. That's fine. 289 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: I've always had so much love and respect from military 290 00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: and trying to work with as many vets as I 291 00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,360 Speaker 1: can through MVP and other organizations. Because this is the 292 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: most selfless thing. Like you're said, you you decide after college. 293 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm gonna go to war and I'm gonna 294 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,520 Speaker 1: go protect people I don't even know. I leave my 295 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: own family. It's the most selfless thing on the planet. 296 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 1: But not enough for you love yourself up for it. 297 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 1: Really got to be proud of what you do and 298 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 1: love yourself. And a lot of it is you guys 299 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 1: being told, hey, don't don't talk about it, right, don't 300 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 1: talk about we don't talk about what we did when 301 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 1: especially in transition, it's hard again, I was one telling 302 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: your story instead of you telling your story. And when 303 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:36,000 Speaker 1: most people were looking for jobs lying on their resumes, 304 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: you guys are putting nothing on your resume. You're not 305 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 1: talking about your experiences to get yourself work. You're right, 306 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,480 Speaker 1: we're downplaying it, right, yeah all the time, Brian, what 307 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,600 Speaker 1: are you doing right like this endorsement deal, or you 308 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,600 Speaker 1: could be pushing that your brand. This, I mean this, 309 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,520 Speaker 1: all these things are a positive thing. Why you're absolutely right? 310 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,680 Speaker 1: And why am I telling the story? Brian? You need 311 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,320 Speaker 1: to telling me? And I used tell our vets at 312 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:01,200 Speaker 1: MVP the same thing. We start bragging bout and they go, oh, 313 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 1: we don't brag it sterable. I said, man, it's it's 314 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,120 Speaker 1: it's it's a different way being proud. If it's true. 315 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:09,640 Speaker 1: It ain't braggant, you know, And I say, hey, Gean 316 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 1: Sanders would tell you he's picking you off, right, It's 317 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 1: not being arrogant. Is just this is gonna happen. Right, 318 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 1: So there's a thing of hey, I'm not telling anybody 319 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:21,480 Speaker 1: to be arrogant, but be freaking proud of what you've done. 320 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,479 Speaker 1: Be proud of your scars, be proud of your battles. Right, 321 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: there's a There are really professional, humble ways of communicating 322 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,320 Speaker 1: the accomplishments of you and the units you served, in 323 00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:33,959 Speaker 1: the position you held, in the part of it you 324 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 1: had that employers people can tell right away, Wow, this 325 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 1: is somebody I want on my team, This is somebody 326 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,960 Speaker 1: I want in my community, This is somebody that I 327 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,360 Speaker 1: want to go lead and influence my kids or this school. 328 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,680 Speaker 1: And you're exactly right. And we hold ourselves back sometimes 329 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:56,440 Speaker 1: by not communicating our own value proposition and our contributions 330 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 1: and our skill sets and in a humble but factual way. 331 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:04,080 Speaker 1: And you know, I think that I think it's gotten better. 332 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,720 Speaker 1: I think it's gotten better because there's been so many 333 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:11,159 Speaker 1: people out there who have a brand saying hey, we 334 00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 1: don't need to be like generations before. It's okay, And 335 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,040 Speaker 1: I think it has improved some things, but we still 336 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 1: have we still have ways to go right, especially at 337 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 1: that transition point, because that's the point where you either 338 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 1: get that service member back assimilated into the community or 339 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 1: they go back to their home record and they potentially 340 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,800 Speaker 1: isolate themselves. That's the critical point. I want all our 341 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,239 Speaker 1: events an actor military who are listening this to know, 342 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,240 Speaker 1: this is why I stand it. MVP, motherfucker, You're different 343 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,879 Speaker 1: and different is good. Don't come home be facing the crowd, 344 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: be the crowd, start your own crowd. You're different, Different 345 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 1: is good. Too many people are afraid, and again it's 346 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 1: ingrained in the military. Don't don't don't stand out, don't 347 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 1: be different, right, and we need you to realize, no, 348 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 1: I'm different. Be proud of that. Different is good. I've 349 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,440 Speaker 1: so many times VP I pulled stories out of people 350 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 1: which are unbelievable, and I'm like, why are you just 351 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 1: telling us this now? And if you can't use that 352 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,960 Speaker 1: to be proud of you for yourself, and it's gonna 353 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,840 Speaker 1: be hard in your next step of life, you have 354 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 1: to use to be proud of yourself to get that 355 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,679 Speaker 1: next job, to live peacefully between the ears. Yeah, and 356 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:21,600 Speaker 1: the ultimate success is happiness, right, And we allow these 357 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,879 Speaker 1: past experiences to deprive us of our happiness because we 358 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 1: feel guilty about them. And sometimes it's also the good 359 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,280 Speaker 1: thing you know that that you do a great job with. 360 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 1: Is it's okay to cry, Like, it's okay to be emotional, 361 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:37,399 Speaker 1: It's okay to be vulnerable. Right. The toughest people in 362 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:43,439 Speaker 1: the world are vulnerable, and sometimes we as veterans, we 363 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 1: forget that and we're really afraid to show any weakness 364 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: in public and that that holds us back because it 365 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:54,239 Speaker 1: really it just keeps and packs that stuff. Indeed, so 366 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 1: now let me tell you when I've met Brian Stam 367 00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,199 Speaker 1: we're with our friend Alex Carol Lexus was on the 368 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:03,120 Speaker 1: Ultimate Fighter one and he's fighting the WEC. We're backstage, 369 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:06,199 Speaker 1: this new fighter back there, Brian Stan he's he's a marine. 370 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,119 Speaker 1: He's fighting back, and you know, there's a bunch of 371 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 1: Marines and I think we're going to join at the 372 00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 1: hard Rock, right, I think, or something like that. And 373 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 1: he's like a three thousand seater marine or something like that. 374 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:18,440 Speaker 1: And Brian is making his WEC debut and everybody back 375 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 1: there freaking out. They're all going nuts. They're all going nuts. 376 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,800 Speaker 1: And Brian says to his crew, remember where he said, 377 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:28,639 Speaker 1: and don't mind everybody, chill the fuck out. Is anybody 378 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,520 Speaker 1: shooting at us? So there shot, Let's go have some 379 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:37,680 Speaker 1: fucking fun. It's right, they were. They were so nervous. 380 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,560 Speaker 1: And I turned around. I was like, hey, guys, nobody's 381 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 1: getting shot at tonight. It's all right, Like we're just 382 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,680 Speaker 1: going to He's just gonna have a fist fund class fun. 383 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,919 Speaker 1: I was like, this is this guy and it's legal, 384 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: Like it's a fist fight, it's legal, and he's crazy fasket, 385 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:54,240 Speaker 1: they're gonna pay me for it. I remember. I remember 386 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,159 Speaker 1: that night before the fight. My one buddy was like, 387 00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,639 Speaker 1: so how much teammate you're gonna make like a grand 388 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,080 Speaker 1: for their whatnot. And I was like, well, I'm not 389 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,360 Speaker 1: making a lot of my purse, but this agent really 390 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 1: got me some some endorsements, and so I was telling 391 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 1: him how much I was gonna make. He's like, huh 392 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 1: so like a one, one or two year used Honda 393 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,840 Speaker 1: Civic is what you're gonna make tonight. I was like, yeah, yeah, 394 00:21:14,119 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 1: that's fine. Great. So tell me about then your transition 395 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 1: to UFC and give me some of your Your moments 396 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,520 Speaker 1: in there were like, holy fuck, I'm fighting the UFC, 397 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 1: Like this is holy shit. Like give me, give me 398 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,600 Speaker 1: your holy shit moments during that. Yeah, I think you know. 399 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 1: Um my first one, I was fighting Kristof Shisinski and 400 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,600 Speaker 1: I didn't know much. I had done my first camp 401 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 1: that fight with with Greg Jackson down an Albuquerquet. It 402 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 1: was really the first camp where I had consistent world 403 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 1: class trainings in the Marine Corps. I was training myself 404 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:53,760 Speaker 1: in the WBC and I remember Greg saying to me 405 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,240 Speaker 1: my first week, He's like Brian, and he meant this 406 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 1: in the nicest way, possibly says Brian, It's amazing what 407 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,440 Speaker 1: you've accomplished to date with this little knowledge that's been 408 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: given to you. That's like code for saying, wow, you're 409 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,960 Speaker 1: really green at this. Yet you're in the UFC, and 410 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 1: you know, I got submitted in that fighting I caught 411 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,240 Speaker 1: in a camera and that was really the old ship 412 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 1: moment where Hey, I don't like this feeling. I represent 413 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,159 Speaker 1: more than just myself. I'm in the big leagues now, 414 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:30,920 Speaker 1: and you know I'm not coming back into this octagon unprepared, right, 415 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: I'm not rushing into the next fight. I'm gonna go 416 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:38,439 Speaker 1: make sure that I'm ready. And you know, there was 417 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:40,560 Speaker 1: so much growth. When I was in the WBC. I 418 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,000 Speaker 1: knew so little, but I knew what I knew. I 419 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,920 Speaker 1: was confident what I knew, and it was like, Hey, 420 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:47,199 Speaker 1: I'm gonna stand right in front of these folks. I'm 421 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,919 Speaker 1: gonna bang with them. They shoot, I'm sprawling. I'm not 422 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,240 Speaker 1: going to take a lot of risks with kicks, but 423 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:54,360 Speaker 1: I'm gonna fight my fight, and I'm gonna make them 424 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,080 Speaker 1: fight my fights. You could fight bass. Then you start 425 00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,680 Speaker 1: learning all these new techniques and you're thinking you're slower. 426 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 1: And it really wasn't until I dropped down to one 427 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,760 Speaker 1: eighty five, had my first twenty eighty five pound fight 428 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,640 Speaker 1: against a national champion wrestler, but it was on the undercard. 429 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:14,159 Speaker 1: Nobody saw it and I won by submission. That was 430 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,920 Speaker 1: against a guy named Mike Massenzio. It was a really 431 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:20,200 Speaker 1: good wrestler and he wins the first round. I win 432 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 1: the second round. I clip him hard. He went to 433 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,120 Speaker 1: shoot a double and I caught it with my hand. 434 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,560 Speaker 1: I caught his head with my hand and cracked against 435 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,920 Speaker 1: Joey Rockham and I submit him with a triangle choke. 436 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,480 Speaker 1: And then I get the leab In fight where I 437 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 1: was at three to one underdog. And the funny thing 438 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 1: about that, Yeah, at this point I'm training with you know, 439 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 1: Rashad Evans, Keith Jardine, Joey va signor John Jones. John 440 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,479 Speaker 1: John Jones is just yeah, John Jones is down at 441 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,280 Speaker 1: the gym now. But I can't I can't claim training 442 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:52,960 Speaker 1: with them because I would train with them. But I 443 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 1: was able to do nothing against him. It was I 444 00:23:56,320 --> 00:24:00,399 Speaker 1: was absolutely useful and he didn't didn't even know anything 445 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,440 Speaker 1: yet Jay and he was killing all of us. But 446 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,159 Speaker 1: for that fight. The night before the fight, I remember 447 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,040 Speaker 1: I had a buddy who was like, man, how do 448 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:09,679 Speaker 1: you think this is going to go to Marrow right. 449 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 1: I remember looking at him and said, honestly, if I 450 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:13,880 Speaker 1: fight the way I've trained, this is gonna be easy. 451 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 1: And nobody knew it except everybody at everybody in that gym. 452 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:20,520 Speaker 1: My coaches were like this Ryan is going to run. 453 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:24,120 Speaker 1: They don't understand how much better he's got. And at 454 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:28,199 Speaker 1: that point, like I was primal. I was primed. I 455 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,160 Speaker 1: was so motivated. I remember walking into that octagon thinking 456 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:35,399 Speaker 1: of myself, Man, I'm gonna make him feel all of 457 00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 1: the pain that I felt coming back from war, all 458 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,399 Speaker 1: of the guilt, everything that I had on top of me. 459 00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:47,119 Speaker 1: I want to put it all onto him. It was 460 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,679 Speaker 1: terrible because one of the one of the Marines that 461 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,679 Speaker 1: I had served with them my second tour, Garrett Meiser 462 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 1: was his name. He's a great kid. He stayed in 463 00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:59,120 Speaker 1: the Marine Corps and he went on to a training 464 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,800 Speaker 1: team in a game Inistan. And I had found out 465 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,640 Speaker 1: that day, the day I fought Leavin, that he got 466 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:09,800 Speaker 1: killed in Afghanistan, and I was that. I was beside myself, 467 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,159 Speaker 1: like this kid was such a good kid, was going 468 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,320 Speaker 1: to get out of the Marine Corps, go get his 469 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,560 Speaker 1: college degree, probably come back as an all, he had 470 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,080 Speaker 1: such a bright future ahead of him and had his 471 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,679 Speaker 1: head on straight and loses his life and I was 472 00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:26,080 Speaker 1: pissed and it just brought back a lot of memories. 473 00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:29,280 Speaker 1: And but that's the beauty of martial arts, man, you 474 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:33,240 Speaker 1: could have and it's what you've joined with MVP, right 475 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,920 Speaker 1: that no matter what you have here and in here, 476 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 1: you get onto those mats with the people you respect, 477 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,720 Speaker 1: and you work that shit out, and all of a sudden, 478 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 1: when you're exhausted all those problems, you could start to 479 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,800 Speaker 1: put them in perspective and line them up and say, Okay, 480 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,439 Speaker 1: here's what I can control, Here's what I can't control, 481 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 1: but I can influence. Here are the things I'm beating 482 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,720 Speaker 1: myself up about that I shouldn't be and it's ruining 483 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 1: these relationships over here, Like you just start to put 484 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 1: some things together. And that's what martial arts has always 485 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 1: done for me. And what'd you do with Chris Lieban? 486 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:09,640 Speaker 1: I put it on him, man, that was and he's 487 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,040 Speaker 1: he's a great fighter, and you know he'd probably have 488 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:14,119 Speaker 1: something to say on the stuff that that that was 489 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,120 Speaker 1: just my night, you know, it was just my night? 490 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,280 Speaker 1: And would you win? By that night? I won by knockout, 491 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,000 Speaker 1: one by knockout in the first round. It was it 492 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,040 Speaker 1: was pretty one sided, and I had had a phenomenal camp, 493 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,600 Speaker 1: was on point, and that was really in the prime 494 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:31,800 Speaker 1: of my career. And really my prime was less physical 495 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:35,280 Speaker 1: as it was mental. I was just in a great situation, 496 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,879 Speaker 1: really focused on fighting, and every person I fought, I 497 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 1: was laser focused on them what they were going to 498 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 1: do to me. And I was growing in a position 499 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,880 Speaker 1: where I was getting good information and growing well. People 500 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 1: don't understand the nerves of walking through a cage by 501 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,320 Speaker 1: herself at a certain time, with the world watching a 502 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 1: knockout look across from you. There's a lot of kill you. 503 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,439 Speaker 1: And I try and tell football players want to, you know, 504 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,119 Speaker 1: transition over to boxing the mm A like, dude, you 505 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,680 Speaker 1: don't understand the nerves, And they're like, oh, I've playing 506 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,880 Speaker 1: in the super No, no, no, it's fucking different. What's 507 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:11,440 Speaker 1: the difference in nerves for you going into a gunfight 508 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 1: as opposed to a cage fight? You know, and in 509 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:19,960 Speaker 1: a gunfight, right, lives are on the line, right, right, 510 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:25,320 Speaker 1: But you're going in there with a unit and you've 511 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:29,879 Speaker 1: got responsibilities and you have to be laser focused on 512 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 1: everything that you're going to execute. You know, when you're 513 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:37,800 Speaker 1: an officer specifically, you know, you're like an offensive coordinator 514 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:40,880 Speaker 1: who's playing middle linebacker, right, because you're on the field, 515 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,480 Speaker 1: you're right in the middle, and you're calling all the shots, 516 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,720 Speaker 1: you're calling all the audibles while the bullets are flying. 517 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:51,439 Speaker 1: And so you have to compartmentalize all of that anxiety 518 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,080 Speaker 1: because you don't allow yourself to have the nerve. You 519 00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:57,600 Speaker 1: can't have it because in the absence right of your decisions, 520 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 1: that unit doesn't move forward. You are constantly you are 521 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:07,119 Speaker 1: constantly firing, maneuvering, communicating right and moving the battle and 522 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 1: calling the audibles necessary to put your marines in the 523 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:13,720 Speaker 1: right position to win the fight. Be safe, and oh, 524 00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,200 Speaker 1: by the way, it's not just about defeating the enemy 525 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,400 Speaker 1: and the war we were in. It's also about all 526 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,399 Speaker 1: the civilians you're surrounded by. How do you keep them safe? 527 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,120 Speaker 1: Because if you're getting fired at with the enemy, right, 528 00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,840 Speaker 1: it's not like, oh, hey, shoot back, No, it's what 529 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,399 Speaker 1: are they firing at us with? What are we allowed 530 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 1: to respond with because of our rules of engagement? Hey, sorry, Johnny, 531 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 1: you're heavy machine gun on that vehicle. Can't fire because 532 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:37,920 Speaker 1: they're only firing at us with an AK forty seven, 533 00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 1: and that's an area fire weapon. We need precisions because 534 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,360 Speaker 1: if you're off the mark on that building, the window 535 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,280 Speaker 1: he's shooting at us, you're gonna hit these people down 536 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 1: the supermarket, right, they don't. You don't get attacked. You 537 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,480 Speaker 1: don't get attacked in isolated environments. You get attacked right 538 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,000 Speaker 1: in the middle of a market, right in the middle 539 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,240 Speaker 1: of the school, where there are civilians everywhere. And that 540 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 1: makes the battlefield so much more complex. When you're going 541 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,440 Speaker 1: into a fight, it's just you and the other thing 542 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,640 Speaker 1: about it is it's a fifty percent pay scale. Right, 543 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,680 Speaker 1: you win the fight, you could pay your mortgage for 544 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:09,479 Speaker 1: six months. You lose the fight, you could pay your 545 00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:12,040 Speaker 1: mortgage for three months. Or you want to make investments 546 00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,440 Speaker 1: into your kids five twenty nine plan, you better win 547 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,720 Speaker 1: the fight because your sponsors have bonuses as well. Or 548 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,480 Speaker 1: you want you want a better contract, right. I wanted 549 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:21,320 Speaker 1: a better contract with the UFC and I wanted to 550 00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,680 Speaker 1: fight for the title. So the UFC said, well, the 551 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:25,880 Speaker 1: only person that you can fight if you want more money. 552 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,200 Speaker 1: The only guy will let you fight is Chail Sun. 553 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 1: Nobody wanted to fight jail and which is the worst 554 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 1: matchup for you Every horse style about right, and they 555 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,120 Speaker 1: were like, okay, you want more money, gop him and 556 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:38,840 Speaker 1: they couldn't get anybody to fight him. At the time. 557 00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 1: It was right after he'd lost Anderson the first time, 558 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,360 Speaker 1: and so you lose those types of fights and the 559 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 1: financial swing is massive. And I've been in the locker room. 560 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,720 Speaker 1: I've been in the locker room where I mean even 561 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 1: the best, you know, George Saint Pierre, he would get 562 00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,640 Speaker 1: so nervous, he would pray the lights would fall down 563 00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:01,240 Speaker 1: so he didn't have to fight. I've seen fighters, cowboys, serony, 564 00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:05,080 Speaker 1: you stay, hate fight, hated the fight, love training, hated 565 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 1: the fight because he gets so nervous. And then we've 566 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,480 Speaker 1: seen other guys again, like you know, I've seen Dan Henderson, 567 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:14,040 Speaker 1: Randy Gutur fucking fall asleep back there. It's unbelievable, right, 568 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,720 Speaker 1: Henderson's like farting on you. He's farting and burping and 569 00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 1: making jokes about your mom and shit, and it's just like, 570 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,280 Speaker 1: how the fuck are you so calm? Like Randy, we 571 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,840 Speaker 1: couldn't keep awake. Yeah, yeah, they I mean, you know 572 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 1: there and I think that there are some advantages with 573 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 1: I think wrestlers and combat sports athletes. They are they 574 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,080 Speaker 1: are not coming from team sports. They're used to one 575 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 1: on one. All the blame is on you, and there's 576 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 1: a comfort zone when they can get their hands on you. 577 00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,640 Speaker 1: If hey, I can get out of this whole kickboxing match, 578 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna get my hands on you. I'm gonna get 579 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:49,120 Speaker 1: to my comfort zone and then I'll be able to 580 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:51,560 Speaker 1: kind of get the nerve to go away, because once 581 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 1: you get settled into the fight, once you get into 582 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:57,040 Speaker 1: it and you're there, all that goes away and everything 583 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,600 Speaker 1: starts to come really clear. Unless you know, I used 584 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,120 Speaker 1: to tell I used to say this a lot when 585 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:05,120 Speaker 1: I was broadcasting. If you know you got a green 586 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,840 Speaker 1: fighter or a fighter is not in the right mindset 587 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,320 Speaker 1: and you know they're shook, you jump on them right away. 588 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 1: Never let them settle into the fight. Let that. And 589 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:15,840 Speaker 1: you know, the one of the best is at this 590 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:19,320 Speaker 1: is Michael Bisban. Bi thing would know and he would 591 00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,640 Speaker 1: plant these seeds of doubt through his ship talk, right, 592 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:24,800 Speaker 1: He'd plant little seeds of doubt in the people he 593 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,200 Speaker 1: would fight, and then he talked him a little bit 594 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,080 Speaker 1: and he'd see it sprout, and once he'd see the 595 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,600 Speaker 1: doubt in your eyes, he'd start exploiting you. And whether 596 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,560 Speaker 1: it was jabs, kicks in and out, being a loosen 597 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,040 Speaker 1: hitting you with a takedown right like, he did a 598 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,280 Speaker 1: phenomenal job, and he'd get guys so tired that he'd 599 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:45,400 Speaker 1: break up. His pace was ridiculous, Yes, unbelievable pace, paste 600 00:31:45,400 --> 00:31:48,040 Speaker 1: paste paste bases. I remember, you know, doing some work 601 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 1: with Luke Rockole before he fought him, and Luke's hands 602 00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:51,720 Speaker 1: are down. I'm like, hey, Luke, you're gonna have your 603 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 1: hands up at this guy. He's like, no, I control 604 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,240 Speaker 1: the brains. I'm like, no, you don't. Not when Michael 605 00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:59,600 Speaker 1: bis figure, don't do not control the rains. And that's where, 606 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,280 Speaker 1: that's where it's just different. There is no rhythm that 607 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:05,760 Speaker 1: you could think if there is, but there's not. Right, 608 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:09,080 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, that rhythm changed real fast. It's unforgiving. Right. 609 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,560 Speaker 1: You could be totally dominating and winning a fight out 610 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:13,920 Speaker 1: of nowhere, you get club with the punch you don't remember, 611 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 1: and then you wake up. You know, when I lost 612 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:19,000 Speaker 1: a Vanderlett, I don't know. I didn't realize the fight 613 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:20,760 Speaker 1: was over until John Annik was sitting there with a 614 00:32:20,800 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 1: microphone my case. I had no idea what had happened, 615 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:26,600 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I guess I lost in 616 00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,040 Speaker 1: the interview. Yeah, I didn't remember winning, so I knew 617 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,719 Speaker 1: I lost. At that point, I'm dripping blood. I'm like, 618 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,720 Speaker 1: I don't, I don't even I don't, like I didn't 619 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: come to until that moment there is must have lost. 620 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:40,880 Speaker 1: So Brian also became a broadcaster with me, which is man, 621 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:44,560 Speaker 1: you're talking about guerrilla broadcasting. Our first fight together we're 622 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 1: doing in Oman, Nebraska and this one Fox. We used 623 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 1: to do every single thing on the road, and then 624 00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,120 Speaker 1: I think after that we stopped because there was at 625 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,640 Speaker 1: one point they came to me. I'm looking at Brian. 626 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,800 Speaker 1: It's this first night, and they're like, they want me 627 00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:01,240 Speaker 1: to read a script to go to and Anderson Silva, 628 00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,040 Speaker 1: you know, feature or something like that. But the script 629 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,720 Speaker 1: in there is about Rhonda Rouse. So they're like, go 630 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,640 Speaker 1: to three the script, read script, and I turned around. 631 00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 1: I just started looking Brian again. I started talking to 632 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 1: Brian's like, why are we still talking right? Let's why 633 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,640 Speaker 1: are we still talking right? And They'm like let's go 634 00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,080 Speaker 1: and they're like yelling at my ear, and no one's 635 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,080 Speaker 1: realized they got the wrong script. Well, then they finally 636 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,560 Speaker 1: realize it and Brian is like, oh shit, I better 637 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,880 Speaker 1: keep talking here with Jay. And I'm like okay, and 638 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,600 Speaker 1: they're like, okay, lead to the script. Will I go 639 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,960 Speaker 1: to the script? Now? What's upside down? Right? So I 640 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,560 Speaker 1: to remember that. I turned back around to you and 641 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,720 Speaker 1: I just started talking again, and you were like, what's 642 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,360 Speaker 1: what's going on? And he's hearing them screaming me were 643 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,160 Speaker 1: read the script? Breath. No one's taking them time to look. 644 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:43,200 Speaker 1: It's a fucking upside down script. You were leaning over 645 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,520 Speaker 1: the debt when they ice so me and I was talking. 646 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,040 Speaker 1: You were leaning over trying to tell a stage mander 647 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:51,320 Speaker 1: hey the script. Then you were trying to mind it 648 00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 1: to him. I was dying laughing, and you had set 649 00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,240 Speaker 1: me up so well. Then I remember the minute that 650 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 1: show ended, George Ringburger was right there and he said, Hey, 651 00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:05,840 Speaker 1: you're our new guy every time we're on Big Fox. 652 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,920 Speaker 1: You're a new guy from now on. And I was like, 653 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,000 Speaker 1: I was blown away because you're Captain America. You've done 654 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: it all right, and now tell me where what you're 655 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:20,040 Speaker 1: doing now? Sure, So I left broadcasting and I went 656 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,160 Speaker 1: to go work for a private equity firm called Cerberus Capital, 657 00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:26,480 Speaker 1: and I took a chief operating officer position building a 658 00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:30,360 Speaker 1: single family rental portfolio. They had about forty five hundred 659 00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,960 Speaker 1: homes at the time. We then blew up and grew 660 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,239 Speaker 1: it to about thirty six thousand homes in twenty four 661 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:38,799 Speaker 1: different cities, and I was running all operations for the 662 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:44,480 Speaker 1: company and your NBA right from Yeah, during that time, Yeah, 663 00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:46,200 Speaker 1: during that time I got I went and got my 664 00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 1: executive NBA. Kellogg studied in Israel, in Hong Kong, and anyways, 665 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 1: my success at first be Homes working with Cerberus then 666 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,440 Speaker 1: led me to get recruited for a CEO role, and 667 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:02,840 Speaker 1: so I'm now the chief executive officer or Hunt Military Communities. 668 00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:06,120 Speaker 1: We're the largest privatized military housing provider in the country. 669 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,880 Speaker 1: I actually get on a plane tomorrow morning. One of 670 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,759 Speaker 1: my biggest offices in Honolulu. We manage all the base 671 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,239 Speaker 1: housing at Pearl Harbor and Canoe Bay Marine Corps Base. 672 00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,120 Speaker 1: So I'll go see my teams there for the next 673 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:21,160 Speaker 1: two days. And I'm meeting with two admirals and one 674 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,280 Speaker 1: Marine Corps general, one Marine Corps Colonel to really talk 675 00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:27,400 Speaker 1: about what we're doing now is we're making the biggest 676 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:31,080 Speaker 1: investment in technology in the history of military housing to 677 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:35,760 Speaker 1: truly revolutionize how we deliver maintenance, how we lease these homes, 678 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:39,000 Speaker 1: how we manage these communities and provide service to these 679 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:43,319 Speaker 1: service members, to really improve military housing for the next 680 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:45,960 Speaker 1: several decades. So every time I talk to Brian, he 681 00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,359 Speaker 1: makes me feel like, and what the fuck have you done? 682 00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:52,440 Speaker 1: Tuesday Glazer? So now is he tougher than us? He's 683 00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:56,200 Speaker 1: smarter than us too. Hence my Jonah Salt joke about 684 00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:58,520 Speaker 1: you before my last question, I'm gonna ask you this 685 00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,839 Speaker 1: one again out something very profound. You were you wanting 686 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:04,479 Speaker 1: to shut at your wedding, which was great. I showed 687 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:07,920 Speaker 1: up too, with with Rosie, and my gift to you 688 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:12,360 Speaker 1: that day was that I showed up with Rosie and 689 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,319 Speaker 1: h Man, you're just this different, spiritual person. And I 690 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 1: think your wife said to me, you said it like, man, 691 00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:20,439 Speaker 1: if there is a God, that I'm going to help 692 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,560 Speaker 1: for everything I've done, And now you realize that's not 693 00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:26,080 Speaker 1: the case. You were here to be of service, and 694 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:30,640 Speaker 1: you've done some beautiful heavenly things. Yeah, You're absolutely right. 695 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:37,640 Speaker 1: It was you know, meeting her, combining our families and 696 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:41,879 Speaker 1: in watching our children grow and and you know, she 697 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:46,920 Speaker 1: really opened up my heart in me a vulnerability I 698 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,399 Speaker 1: never knew existed. I mean, I've told her things I've 699 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:53,440 Speaker 1: never told anybody before, and I've prayed more than I've 700 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:58,479 Speaker 1: ever prayed before. And in those years, in those moments realizing, hey, 701 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:03,480 Speaker 1: you've been put and some really really challenging scenarios, you've 702 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:09,080 Speaker 1: developed some some significant leadership skills and mankind human beings, 703 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:12,239 Speaker 1: we are very flawed. We're the most violent species on 704 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:16,080 Speaker 1: the planet. And God put me through these things to 705 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:20,279 Speaker 1: to use my experience as my leadership. However, his plan 706 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:24,239 Speaker 1: is set for me. But it really allowed me to 707 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:29,320 Speaker 1: forgive myself right for for what happened to to Marines, 708 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:32,000 Speaker 1: and you know, for the fact that that the country 709 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:35,480 Speaker 1: I served in, you know, isn't exactly in great shape, 710 00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:39,040 Speaker 1: and that's really disappointing to me. And really come back 711 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:42,680 Speaker 1: and believe and realize, you know that we make mistakes 712 00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:45,640 Speaker 1: as humans, but it is not because of the absence 713 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:49,279 Speaker 1: of a God. And that faith has really allowed me 714 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,719 Speaker 1: to be a lot more settled who I am, what 715 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,440 Speaker 1: I've done and what I need to be, you know, 716 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:58,920 Speaker 1: for my family, my wife and kids, my extended family, 717 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:03,040 Speaker 1: my friends, and my company, my employees, my community, right 718 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,440 Speaker 1: to be the best version, because that's really it's all about. 719 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,920 Speaker 1: It's about being the best version of yourself and when 720 00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:11,640 Speaker 1: you can do that, the ultimate success and happiness. And 721 00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:15,200 Speaker 1: it's really hard for service members to achieve, and it's 722 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,879 Speaker 1: really hard for people who are dealing with mental health 723 00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,279 Speaker 1: problems to achieve. In a lot of times, man, we're 724 00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:25,000 Speaker 1: holding ourselves back for reasons, you know, beyond our control. 725 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,839 Speaker 1: We just need to seek some help. And I found it. 726 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:31,880 Speaker 1: It's so beautiful seeing you at peace because you deserve 727 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:36,200 Speaker 1: that peace. It's beautiful to see man, your growth. And look, 728 00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:37,759 Speaker 1: I you know, I'm a big faith god. I'm a 729 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:39,360 Speaker 1: big god guy. But I believe that God is a 730 00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,000 Speaker 1: loving God, a best friend God, and a best friend 731 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,239 Speaker 1: type parent, not looking to punish me for everything. And 732 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,239 Speaker 1: I went through that too, that guilt's killing that everything 733 00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:48,359 Speaker 1: I'm being punished for. But no, if you really just 734 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 1: and that's my choice, and I'm not pushing religion here 735 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,279 Speaker 1: on anybody anything like that. My choice to believe that 736 00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:55,160 Speaker 1: God is my best friend and best friend parent, so 737 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,160 Speaker 1: I'm never alone. So I'm gonna go after life. It's 738 00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,719 Speaker 1: hard as like God, and I never feel fully alone 739 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,680 Speaker 1: in doing that. And all I ask back is love 740 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,800 Speaker 1: and that's it. And I don't think we're judged. I 741 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:09,200 Speaker 1: don't think we're I know we're in bringing to think that, um, 742 00:39:09,239 --> 00:39:12,280 Speaker 1: but I don't believe that it's an all punishing being 743 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:15,239 Speaker 1: out there. I think God is love. So are glad 744 00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:17,080 Speaker 1: that you've made peace with that man. I'm proud to 745 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:20,839 Speaker 1: see it. Your growth is beautiful, right, thank you? You're correct, right, 746 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 1: And when when you start to believe that, you start 747 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,960 Speaker 1: being able to forgive yourselves as well. You know, we 748 00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:31,600 Speaker 1: are all the older, We're getting more we talk to 749 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,359 Speaker 1: each other. You realize, boy, we all make a lot 750 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,959 Speaker 1: of the same mistakes and we need to give each 751 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,759 Speaker 1: other a lot more grace. Love it all, right, Last question, 752 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:43,839 Speaker 1: I ask every one of my guests. Give me your 753 00:39:43,880 --> 00:39:47,560 Speaker 1: unbreakable moment, your moment that man could have broken you, 754 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:49,840 Speaker 1: should have broken you and didn't, and as a result, 755 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:52,160 Speaker 1: you came from the other side of that tunnel, and 756 00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:54,799 Speaker 1: that is your currency for the rest of your life. Man. 757 00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,920 Speaker 1: You know I've got two to be honest, it was 758 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:03,960 Speaker 1: you know, after after my second tour in any Iraq. 759 00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:06,960 Speaker 1: You know, it was two back to back tours, and 760 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:11,520 Speaker 1: there was so much darkness inside of me that to 761 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:16,239 Speaker 1: the point where it could have consumed me. And the 762 00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:18,560 Speaker 1: next thing I know, I find out I'm having a baby. 763 00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:23,400 Speaker 1: I've got a fight schedule, gymes fight, It's must be 764 00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:25,799 Speaker 1: really good. I don't know anything. I got sand in 765 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:29,920 Speaker 1: my ears and I was just full of confusion, and 766 00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:34,279 Speaker 1: I remember being so angry walking into the cage. I 767 00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,879 Speaker 1: didn't want to be there, but I am sure sell 768 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,839 Speaker 1: didn't want to lose. And I was like, all right, 769 00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:40,920 Speaker 1: you know what, I don't know how much of this 770 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:44,480 Speaker 1: sport I know, but I mean everything I throw tonight 771 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,239 Speaker 1: is going to be violent. And I won that fight, 772 00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,440 Speaker 1: and I had a bunch of my Marine Corps buddies 773 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,040 Speaker 1: there right there at the hard rock at the joint. 774 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:57,080 Speaker 1: They went nuts, and there was just a period of like, wow, 775 00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:00,120 Speaker 1: you know what I'm not going back to, like is 776 00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:03,840 Speaker 1: dark anchor around my neck for what happened. And it 777 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:07,799 Speaker 1: was a similar moment when when I was getting divorced 778 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,960 Speaker 1: and I was so afraid about losing my kids, and 779 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:15,320 Speaker 1: you know, you just have all these unknowns and nobody 780 00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:19,160 Speaker 1: ever maps out their life expecting that to happen. And 781 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,799 Speaker 1: it opened up those dark thoughts again. It brought back 782 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:25,680 Speaker 1: all these memories from combat that I hadn't thought about 783 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:29,520 Speaker 1: in a long time. Jay Man, I went back to training, 784 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,520 Speaker 1: put my mind at work, but went back to training, 785 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,680 Speaker 1: opened up to friends and called you. You know, we talked, 786 00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:39,120 Speaker 1: we sight for their person a couple of times, and Man, 787 00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,040 Speaker 1: over a course of just a couple of months, dude, 788 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,480 Speaker 1: I was back like I was getting my MBA, I 789 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:47,160 Speaker 1: was kicking ass at work, I was doing everything as 790 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,080 Speaker 1: a dad, and I was like, wait a minute, no, no, 791 00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:52,200 Speaker 1: no, no no, no. I touched rock bottom again for a second. 792 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,160 Speaker 1: There's no way you're holding me down there. And like, 793 00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:58,520 Speaker 1: I pull on those moments all when I think something 794 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:02,040 Speaker 1: might be hard, where I got a booboo or something, 795 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:04,319 Speaker 1: I think about those two points in life, man, and 796 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:08,240 Speaker 1: I draw strength from them for eternity and our vulnerability. 797 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,960 Speaker 1: And the time he's talking about Brian going through his divorce, 798 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,279 Speaker 1: it had rocked him and I called him, and we're 799 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,440 Speaker 1: supposed to do something with the NFL and you were 800 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,160 Speaker 1: bailing out and I called you and I said, hey, 801 00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:21,120 Speaker 1: they say fucking like you. Right, this isn't like you 802 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:23,719 Speaker 1: pull your shit together, because this isn't fucking like you. 803 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:25,840 Speaker 1: We could be as sad as we want, we could grieve, 804 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:29,080 Speaker 1: but don't change who you are, right. And you're like, fuck, 805 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,080 Speaker 1: you're right. I said, you skipping out on something is 806 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,319 Speaker 1: not who the fuck you are. Get back to who 807 00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:35,960 Speaker 1: you are. And you're like, I'll be on the plane 808 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,920 Speaker 1: to Mark. Yep. That's that's what. That's what brothers do 809 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:41,399 Speaker 1: for each other. That's right, that's right. We called each 810 00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:44,200 Speaker 1: other on our ship, man, and it was it's it's 811 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:47,719 Speaker 1: a lot of my ship. Yes, you know, we hold 812 00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:50,239 Speaker 1: each other accountable to to to the people that we are, 813 00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,759 Speaker 1: the character that we are. And I love it. And 814 00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,320 Speaker 1: you know, hopefully, hopefully we'll get a couple of people 815 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,440 Speaker 1: listening to this, man, and I know lots of people 816 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:02,520 Speaker 1: listening to your podcasts, your book. It's phenomenal. Um. I 817 00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:04,800 Speaker 1: hope that more and more people are drawn strength and 818 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:10,239 Speaker 1: realizing that vulnerability is the first step towards happiness, right 819 00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,719 Speaker 1: and moving forward. Man, that's great. Man. I love you, dude, 820 00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:15,800 Speaker 1: you know I love you. And I'm going to finish 821 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,319 Speaker 1: off the podcast the same way I started thank you 822 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:21,520 Speaker 1: for being there for me, rather thank hello. You saved 823 00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:24,120 Speaker 1: me over and over and when I've been my darkest, 824 00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:26,920 Speaker 1: I've turned into you man, and you've fucking been there 825 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:29,959 Speaker 1: every time. I appreciate you saving me. Brother always, brother, 826 00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:33,879 Speaker 1: always thank you. It's always walk this walk together, man,