1 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:06,080 Speaker 1: Hello everybody. I am Robert Evans, and this is Behind 2 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:09,399 Speaker 1: the Bastards, the podcast where we take you through all 3 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,200 Speaker 1: of the strange things you didn't know about the very 4 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:15,120 Speaker 1: worst people in all of history. With me today is 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:19,080 Speaker 1: Jack O'Brien, my once in future boss. We worked together 6 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,279 Speaker 1: at Cracked for like more than a decade. Long time, Yeah, 7 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:23,079 Speaker 1: very long time. 8 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. I am thrilled to be here, thrilled to be 9 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:32,599 Speaker 2: launching a podcast with the Robert Evans who started the 10 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 2: personal Experience section at Cracked, wrote some of our most 11 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,480 Speaker 2: popular articles, and yeah, one of the things you were 12 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:44,599 Speaker 2: always good at is finding out interesting information about awful, 13 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 2: awful people. Yeah. 14 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the genesis of this might have come 15 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: after the revolution in Ukraine where that quasi dictator Yanukovich 16 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:56,240 Speaker 1: got kicked out and he did this press conference afterwards 17 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: where he was like shouting at how angry he was 18 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: and he tried to break a pencil to like emphasize 19 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: a point, but he had a pin in his hands 20 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,919 Speaker 1: and it just bent. And so there's just like twenty 21 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:07,960 Speaker 1: seconds of this dictator trying to break a pin and failing. 22 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,319 Speaker 1: And that's the stuff I want to like, The sad 23 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:14,119 Speaker 1: like Michael Scott from the office moments in the lives 24 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 1: of all these like nightmarish dictators who who started wars 25 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,000 Speaker 1: and you know, ruined hundreds of thousands or millions of lives. 26 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: They're all such like weird, sad people when you really 27 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: get right down to them, right. 28 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,959 Speaker 2: Yeah. One of our most popular articles that Cracked was 29 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:32,440 Speaker 2: you reading every single edition of the Isis Like magazine 30 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,279 Speaker 2: that was almost like a seventeen for Isis kids. 31 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's like they're people. Yeah, it's always like 32 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: these the monsters and their monstrous regimes are always like 33 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 1: there's this beautiful layer of the absurd that if you 34 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 1: can get past the nightmarish human suffering, like, there's a 35 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 1: lot to just goggle at. Yeah, it's amazing. 36 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 2: So in addition to being a really funny dude, Robert 37 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,520 Speaker 2: is also a really great journalist. The Personal Experience section 38 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 2: of the Cracked site was where he would interview people 39 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 2: with just really crazy or harrowing or interesting life experiences 40 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 2: and then you would put together these articles that were, 41 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:12,119 Speaker 2: you know, funny but really interesting accounts that you've never 42 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,680 Speaker 2: heard before of, like what it's like to be on Heroin, 43 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 2: what it's like to be on math, a lot. 44 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 1: Of drugs, mostly that. 45 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know, all sorts of interesting stories things 46 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:30,360 Speaker 2: that truck drivers see out on the highway, which included 47 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 2: a lot of people having sex apparently. But yeah, so 48 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:37,800 Speaker 2: this was one of the ideas when we decided that 49 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:42,720 Speaker 2: you were allowed to work with me again. This was 50 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 2: I think the first idea you pitched, and I got 51 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 2: super excited right away. 52 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I just I love talking about terrible people. You 53 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,239 Speaker 1: get a deeper understanding of the world when you understand 54 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: these guys, monsters like Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden 55 00:02:57,520 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: and good old fashioned Hitler, Nikolaich Chess, like all these dictators, right, 56 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 1: but they're also just like like we're gonna be talking 57 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: about later in the in the series, we're gonna be 58 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: talking about like Hitler's young adult fiction novels that he 59 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,359 Speaker 1: based his plans for World War II on, And we'll 60 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,360 Speaker 1: be talking about like Osam bin Lauden's love of Hollywood 61 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: movies and how he'd use it to jazz up his 62 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: fighters before like going into battle, Like all these ridiculous 63 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:24,760 Speaker 1: stories that add like so much color to these people's 64 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,359 Speaker 1: lives and help explain like why they did the shit 65 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 1: they did. 66 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 2: Right, But also, you know, puncture the myth, like we 67 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:35,960 Speaker 2: mythologize and make these people into just these huge icons 68 00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 2: of you know, they're Darth Vader type people, and actually 69 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 2: they have bowel problems, as we'll talk about today. 70 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what we're getting into today. Adolf Hitler, warlord, monster, 71 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:54,160 Speaker 1: history's greatest evil, and also a ridiculous, farting hipster in 72 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 1: his twenties and thirties. 73 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're giving them a little taste of what 74 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,160 Speaker 2: they would get in a normal episode, just a quick, 75 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 2: quick in and out. Yeah. Yeah. 76 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people feel like they know 77 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 1: the fewer pretty well. You know, you've seen a lot 78 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 1: of Hitler and movies and TV shows, and he's usually 79 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: either this like psychopathics Yeah yeah, yeah, he's either like 80 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:17,360 Speaker 1: the psychopathic powerful warlord or the broken, trembling wreck of 81 00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: a person in downfall, And those are both accurate to 82 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 1: certain periods. But you never see nerdy hipster Hitler portrayed 83 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: in fiction. 84 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,479 Speaker 2: You sure do not. So. 85 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,719 Speaker 1: When Hitler was a teenager and a young adult, his 86 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: best friend was a violinist named August Kubachik. Now, after 87 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,320 Speaker 1: the war, Koubachick wrote a book about Hitler called The 88 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,919 Speaker 1: Young Hitler I Knew And It's weird because Hitler and 89 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 1: Kubachick had a very weird relationship. In the book, Kubachick 90 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,479 Speaker 1: writes about a time when Hitler went with him to 91 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:50,839 Speaker 1: the funeral for Kubachack's violin teacher, which quote rather surprised me, 92 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 1: as he did not know Professor Dessauer at all. When 93 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,839 Speaker 1: I expressed my surprise, he said, I can't bear it 94 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: that you should mix with other young people and talk 95 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 1: to them. So that's that's the kind of friend. Young 96 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:04,920 Speaker 1: jealous little shown up at stranger's funerals. So his friend 97 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:09,039 Speaker 1: doesn't talk to anyone else. So one night in nineteen 98 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: oh five, Kouba Check and Hitler are on a walk 99 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 1: and Hitler's you know, ranting about Hitler stuff, which he 100 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,920 Speaker 1: apparently did from the time he was like fifteen on up. 101 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,920 Speaker 2: Oh that's adorable. Yeah, like just a a smaller version 102 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,840 Speaker 2: of himself. Yeah, but just always ranting. 103 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:26,159 Speaker 1: He's always been yelling about stuff. And so during this 104 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,480 Speaker 1: walk they see a quote slim blonde girl, and Hitler 105 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,599 Speaker 1: grabs his friend's arm and says, you must know I'm 106 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 1: in love with her now, God According to Koubacheck's book, 107 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 1: Hitler remained obsessed with this girl for like four straight years. 108 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: He never talked to her, he never told her how 109 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:45,360 Speaker 1: he felt, he never flirted with her, but he forced 110 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: his best friend to spy on her and report back 111 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 1: to him for years. There's like all these crazy little 112 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,960 Speaker 1: like one time, there's this parade and she's one of 113 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,240 Speaker 1: the girls who's like handing out flowers at the parade, 114 00:05:56,279 --> 00:05:58,280 Speaker 1: and she like throws one to Hitler just because he's 115 00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 1: in the crowd, and he's like that was a secret 116 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: sign that she loves me. Like he's full on nuts. 117 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,039 Speaker 1: So he never talks to this girl, not once, but 118 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: he becomes convinced that she loves him too, and that 119 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 1: you know, all these different things that his friend is 120 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: reporting on her doing or like her sending him secret 121 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 1: messages because he's nuts. After the war, someone tracked her 122 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,839 Speaker 1: down and let her know that like Hitler had had 123 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,000 Speaker 1: a crush on her when they were kids, and she 124 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:26,120 Speaker 1: was like, I have no idea, but she did say 125 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,160 Speaker 1: I once received a letter from someone who said they 126 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,360 Speaker 1: were to attend the Academy of Arts and that I 127 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,479 Speaker 1: should wait for him. He could come back and marry me. 128 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,480 Speaker 1: I had no idea who the letter might have been 129 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: from or who I should have sent it to. So 130 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: that's do you think. 131 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 2: It's like the social network thing where everything he did 132 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:44,320 Speaker 2: was secretly for this woman, like maybe she'll love me now. 133 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:46,600 Speaker 1: I think that there's a little bit of that there, 134 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,719 Speaker 1: because she was always dating young Austrian soldiers and Hitler 135 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,479 Speaker 1: kind of had a chip on his shoulder about the 136 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 1: army because there were all these like good looking, fit 137 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,599 Speaker 1: guys and he was like this sick, pale kid who 138 00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: couldn't talk to girls. So yeah, I feel like there's 139 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 1: a little bit of that going on. But as he 140 00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 1: grew up, Hitler got a little bit less awkward, not 141 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 1: a lot less awkward, but a little bit. And in 142 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 1: his mid twenties, when his political career was still young, 143 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,200 Speaker 1: he started to make some rich friends. One of them 144 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 1: was a cultured, wealthy German named Humpstangle, and so this 145 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 1: rich dude frequently would have Hitler over for dinner, but 146 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 1: he and his wife were appalled by the man's lack 147 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 1: of table manners, and at one point, Hompstangle reports being 148 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:27,680 Speaker 1: horrified that Hitler was caught pouring sugar in fine wine 149 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 1: so that he could drink it, which is like, God, 150 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: it's like a Michael Scott moment. 151 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:36,560 Speaker 2: Right, barbarian right. 152 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 1: So one hands, I'm like, here's this, you know, decade 153 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 1: old French wine. And then I'm gonna take my. 154 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:46,520 Speaker 2: Wine with sugar, with two lumps of sugar. Yeah, wow, 155 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 2: that's great. Yeah. 156 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: So Hitler's a classy guy. But as he, you know, 157 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: grew older into his thirties and stuff, and his political 158 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 1: career blew up. He started to make some actual money, 159 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: mainly from like Nazi Party dues and stuff, and you know, 160 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,160 Speaker 1: he put a lot of that money into perfecting his look, 161 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,800 Speaker 1: which would not be at all out of place in 162 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 1: an alright gathering today. In the biography Hitler by Ian Kershaw, 163 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 1: Kershaw notes that the young Fearre wore quote a trilby, 164 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,560 Speaker 1: a light colored raincoat, leather leggings, and a writing whip. 165 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:16,840 Speaker 2: Yeah. 166 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 1: That's like his leather shorts and a fedora and a 167 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:24,240 Speaker 1: whip is how this guy's walking around. Yeah, Hitler in 168 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: the nineteen twenties was never without a whip. Another description 169 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,240 Speaker 1: from the book notes quote in his gangster hat and 170 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: trench coat over his dinner jacket, touting a pistol and carrying, 171 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: as usual, his dog whip. He cut a bizarre figure 172 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: in the salons of Munich's upper crust to the dog whip, 173 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:39,720 Speaker 1: dog whip. 174 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 175 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:44,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, Hitler impressed girls by whipping dogs with his hippopotamus 176 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 1: hide whip. Yeah, and also people. When Hitler would get 177 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 1: into fights, you know, there were all these brawls, he 178 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: would just pull out a whip and start whipping folks. 179 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:56,200 Speaker 2: I thought whips were cool when I was like six. Yeah. 180 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, Hitler didn't grow out of that. He spent like 181 00:08:58,640 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 1: a solid decade never leaving the house without a hippopotamus 182 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: with a whip, just beating people with a whip. So, yeah, 183 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,280 Speaker 1: that's young Hitler walking around in a trilby in a 184 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 1: trench coat, hitting people in animals with whips. And he 185 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,120 Speaker 1: went by the nickname Harewolf and made all of his 186 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:20,240 Speaker 1: friends call him mister Wolf or the wolf. And that 187 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,559 Speaker 1: was another thing he kept doing his entire life because 188 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,439 Speaker 1: during like the invasion of Russia, his secret headquarters was 189 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:26,440 Speaker 1: called the Wolf's Lair. 190 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:27,600 Speaker 2: Is it hair Wolf? 191 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: Mister Wolf, Yeah, mister wolf man. 192 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 2: That is a bad nickname. 193 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 1: That was Hitler's nickname for himself. That he made everyone 194 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 1: call him by he signed his love letters wolf. 195 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,560 Speaker 2: Wolf is okay, but mister Wolf. Yeah, it's just silly. 196 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,360 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Well, the real meat that I want to 197 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 1: get into here is the story of Hitler's terrible farts 198 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 1: and how they impacted history. Okay, so we've set it up. Hitler's, 199 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 1: you know, walking around in a trilby, in a trench coat, 200 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,559 Speaker 1: wielding a whip, hitting dogs all the time. But he's 201 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 1: also farting constantly. Because Hitler suffered through his entire life 202 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 1: from what was then known as metiorism, which is uncontrollable flatulence. 203 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,880 Speaker 1: He initially adopted his vegetarian diet so that his farts 204 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,280 Speaker 1: would get better, but they only made his farts worse. 205 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: Hitler's farts were a constant source of embarrassment and important 206 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 1: political meetings. There's all these tales of like before he 207 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,400 Speaker 1: was in power, when he was still like in politics 208 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,440 Speaker 1: and stuff, like him meeting with all of these other 209 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 1: German politicians and like just couldn't stop farting in tiny 210 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 1: enclosed rooms and train cars, and it just ruins these 211 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:33,080 Speaker 1: these meetings where he's trying to like, you know, establish 212 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 1: a consensus government or whatever. 213 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:38,160 Speaker 2: So This isn't a thing that he's overly sensitive about 214 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 2: and you know he's worried about it. Oh, he hates 215 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 2: it more than other people. But it's actually a thing 216 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 2: where everybody else is like, Oh, there goes Hitler, the 217 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,680 Speaker 2: guy who ends meetings by farting too much. 218 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,560 Speaker 1: Well, it was usually he would do a lot of 219 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:53,959 Speaker 1: dinner meetings and he would flee the room at the 220 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: end of dinner like some they would just sometimes he 221 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,800 Speaker 1: would just run out, like right afterwards and hide for 222 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 1: the rest of the night because his were so bad, right, like. 223 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 2: They were stick his ass out the window. Oh yeah, yeah. 224 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,520 Speaker 1: So in nineteen thirty six, after he's in power, he 225 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 1: decides he's had enough of his farts and he decides 226 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:16,200 Speaker 1: to seek professional attention. This brings him into the orbit 227 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 1: of a guy named Theodore Morrell, who was a fifty 228 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: year old doctor who primarily worked on actors. So Morell 229 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 1: prescribed Hitler two different pills for his terrible farts. The 230 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 1: first pills were moodafloor capsules, which is a medicine you 231 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,000 Speaker 1: can still buy today. They're made from the poop of 232 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,960 Speaker 1: a World War One soldier who proved resilient to dysentery, 233 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 1: and that is actual medicine, like you'll get it today 234 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,520 Speaker 1: for real stomach. 235 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 2: Issues, poop transplants. 236 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. The other thing he took were doctor Kester's anti 237 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:46,280 Speaker 1: gas pills, which were just pure strychnine. Oh right, yeah, 238 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: as just toison. 239 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he got the farts. Yeah. 240 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 1: There's no consensus on how much of an impact taking 241 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,440 Speaker 1: poison every day for a decade had on on Hitler. 242 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 1: Some people say that it was probably responsible for his 243 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 1: trimmers and his like horrible physical pain and ailments at 244 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,559 Speaker 1: the time. They it said he would have needed to 245 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,400 Speaker 1: take thirty a day of these pills for them to 246 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,319 Speaker 1: be toxic, but we know he was taking like six 247 00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: to ten per meal, like he was just eating them 248 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: like candy, and the doctor kept him constantly stocked up 249 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:20,480 Speaker 1: on anti fart pills. So there's a US intelligence report 250 00:12:20,559 --> 00:12:23,200 Speaker 1: made by the precursor to the CIA during World War 251 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 1: Two that noted all this. It says Hitler complained of mediaism, 252 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:30,560 Speaker 1: especially after eating black bread and cabbage, and an abnormal 253 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 1: feeling in the epi hypogastric region. These symptoms probably were 254 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 1: due to in neurosis, since occasional errors and diets such 255 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,920 Speaker 1: as the intake of lentils and peas brought only the 256 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: normal amount of complaining. Furthermore, the prescriptions of unsuitable and 257 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,559 Speaker 1: useless drugs for these complaints brought about improvement. Epigastric cramps 258 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: and vomiting were noted during nineteen forty four to forty five. 259 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,079 Speaker 1: These were probably the result of constant strychnine and atropine 260 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:54,680 Speaker 1: medications and not of historic origin. So the CIA thinks 261 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 1: Hitler's farts are all in his head and it's the 262 00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 1: poison pills causing his cramps. 263 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 2: It's a weakness of character, as are all farts. Yeah. 264 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, So Hitler considered Morell his savior for his anti 265 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: farting pills, which apparently seemed to help, and privately said 266 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: he saved my life. Wonderful how he helped me. So 267 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:18,559 Speaker 1: Morell became Hitler's number one doctor. This led Morell to 268 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,200 Speaker 1: a great wealth and power because he was able to 269 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 1: start manufacturing vitamin pills, first just for Hitler and then 270 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:26,400 Speaker 1: for everyone who wanted to take the same pills as Hitler. 271 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:32,440 Speaker 2: And presumably in his long infomercial career afterwards, as Hitler's 272 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,440 Speaker 2: number one doctor. 273 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:38,839 Speaker 1: Yea, so he starts giving Hitler different drugs, like the 274 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 1: fact that the farting pills work mean that Hitler trusts 275 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,120 Speaker 1: Morel to do anything. So over the course of World 276 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,559 Speaker 1: War Two, we know that Morell gave Hitler ninety two 277 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:51,679 Speaker 1: different medications, twenty were manufactured by firms that Morell owned himself, 278 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: and most of those had never been scientifically tested, so 279 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 1: he was actually testing out drugs on Hitler. Hitler was 280 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 1: his guinea pig for a lot of meta before anyone 281 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 1: else would try them. He'd be like, well, let's se 282 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,840 Speaker 1: how it works on Hitler and then we'll sell him 283 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 1: to the Germans. 284 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 2: Right, this makes a lot of sense. 285 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Now there's a common myth that Hitler was 286 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 1: addicted to methamphetamine. That's not quite true. He took a 287 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,440 Speaker 1: lot of meth but he didn't take anything all the 288 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 1: time because Morell kept him on a constant cycle of morphine, methamphetamine, cocaine, 289 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 1: and a variety of other substances. Jesus so he had 290 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,400 Speaker 1: morphine administered about twenty five times from forty three to 291 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 1: forty four for stomach cramps, twenty nine different injections, and 292 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 1: sixty three kinds of oral tablets and skin applications, Like 293 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: he's just doing a carousel of drugs for Hitler. 294 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 2: Right. 295 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 1: In his last twenty eight months alive, Hitler had twenty 296 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 1: one injections to treat colds and seven hundred and fifty 297 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,200 Speaker 1: seven to restore his energy. Most of those are mixes 298 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:54,000 Speaker 1: of cocaine, methamphetamine, and vitamins. So, yeah, Hitler is taking 299 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,720 Speaker 1: just a swinging carousel of random doses of drugs and 300 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:01,560 Speaker 1: vitamins for the entirety of World War I too. Uh, 301 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 1: And he doesn't question it at any point because these 302 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: are being prescribed by the doctor who was able to 303 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 1: stop him. 304 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,840 Speaker 2: From farting Jesus christ Man, yep, didn't. He also like 305 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 2: sleep in till noon every day. 306 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 1: Well, he stayed up really late too, right, like back. 307 00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 2: Before the war year being injected, Yeah, seven hundred times 308 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 2: with amphetamines. 309 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, before the warriors, he would stay up until like 310 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,520 Speaker 1: three or four in the morning watching American movies and 311 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,920 Speaker 1: like make all of his colleagues watch them with him. 312 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 1: Stalin did kind of the same thing, Like that's just 313 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 1: a dictator thing, right, It's like forcing people to watch 314 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 1: movies with you. 315 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,120 Speaker 2: But yeah, well there we go. That's the sort of 316 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 2: crazy stuff. You're gonna learn about history's biggest villains. I 317 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 2: guess on this show. 318 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,640 Speaker 1: Huh, yep, yep, we're gonna uncover who was wearing trillbies 319 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,480 Speaker 1: and who was farting uncontrollable. 320 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 2: Now, what does a trill be? 321 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: Triby's a fedora. Okay, it's like the alt rightest hat 322 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,280 Speaker 1: that exists. 323 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 2: Got it? Yeah? 324 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, So that's one thing I've learned doing this is 325 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:58,680 Speaker 1: that those eight chan Nazis are actually just kind of 326 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 1: like returning to a pattern, right, and. 327 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 2: Yet none of them have the balls to rocket Hitler mustache. 328 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:05,840 Speaker 2: But I've seen. 329 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure they all have horrible parting problems though. 330 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, they do not look like a good smelling bunch, 331 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:15,400 Speaker 2: all right. 332 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 1: So yeah, so check back next week. I would recommend 333 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 1: hitting the subscribe button and you will then be able 334 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,440 Speaker 1: to listen to our next episode. This has been Behind 335 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 1: the Bastards. You can find us on at Bastards pod 336 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:29,000 Speaker 1: and Twitter and Instagram and Facebook, or behind the Bastards 337 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 1: dot com on the Internet. I am Robert Evans. Thank 338 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 1: you for listening.